#(allura came out of the pod saying 'ugh where am i' before anyone said anything to her in english)

[swagging-back-to]

i was just about to show what i think altean markings look like (full body) when i realized that lance is borderline skeletal?

both of them are. their legs should not be that small. where is thick thigh lance.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

CSUAVS prt 16 update... 16 because I can't freakin count

Throwing another branch of the Fire he'd built, Keith sighed softly to himself. He'd gotten them both out the ridiculous magnetic waves with the help of Zak's program, only for Lance to wake up screaming. His crush so out of it, he'd nearly ended up crashing the stupid pod as Lance tried to take control. He'd intended to take Lance away from everyone. To let him recover, despite the fact they were supposed to rendezvous with the Telula. Instead he had to fight Lance off while calling Daehra to ask what he could use to safely sedate Lance before Lance got them both killed. Kosmo hadn't helped at all, yipping and barking like it was all a game, the sound seemed to only make things worse for Lance and needless to say, the wolf had grounded in the pod while Keith sat under the starry sky with Lance sleeping by his side. Daehra hadn't liked him leaping to drugs as an option, but with the way Lance was yelling and ranting, she'd finally relented. How did he fix this? Any of this? His best fucking friend had been sexually abused, and he'd been off delivering aide when he should have been there for Lance through it all. There was nothing he could say that would make it better. Lance didn't hate him. It wasn't that he'd done anything "wrong" towards him. The idiot had kept all his pain to himself and now he'd hit his breaking point. He hated all of it. He hated it so much he'd broken down and sobbed for the Lance's loss of innocence. His still felt puffy, his head sore, from the chronic onslaught of emotions that swirled around his mind. Lance was the kindest, more pure hearted, and loving person he knew. His team clearly loved him. They all appreciated him in a way Voltron should have. And now, thanks to him, the wounds stitched closed after phoebs of work, had been torn open. The bottled infection that had been brewing now spreading back through Lance's body, stealing the light from his eyes as its poison spread. Sniffling pathetically, he wanted to throw everything away. He wanted to take Lance by the hand and run forever from the memories that hurt him. But Lance wouldn't run away with him. He probably didn't even wish for Keith to know. He already didn't want him to stay... and losing Lance... it left him feeling like the same scared boy staring down at his father's grave. He wanted Lance to be his family. His home. He was already his strength and support. He kept him anchored despite everything. How could he begin to be that for Lance? "Keith?" Keith's breath caught as a soft hand reached for his leg. Blinking up at him, Lance's eyes were filled with tears. The flames of the fire dancing on his long lashes as he blinked again. With timid moves, his friend drew himself up curl in on himself. His hand holding onto the fabric on Keith's pants loosely. For anyone else, the gesture would be easily dismissed, but all Keith could think about in that moment was the courage it must take for Lance to reach for him "I'm here" "I..." Sniffling hard, Lance's bottom lip quivered as looked away. Tremors shook Lance's shoulders as the first small sob escaped his lips. Dressed in clothes he'd found in the pod, Lance looked fragile as his collarbone peaked out from beneath the loose fabric. Without thinking, Keith gathered Lance into his lap, arms wrapped firmly around him as he held him close, Lance wailing against him "I fucked up!" "It's not your fault" "Ugh! I... don't know what to do..." "Shhhh. You don't have to know anything" "Ugh... ugh... I... don't want to... be... like this..." "I know. I know, buddy. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's just you and me" "I'm so stupid. Stupid. Stupid!" Lance's hand went to his hair as he yelled the last stupid. Catching it before he could pull out any more of those soft chocolate locks, Keith brought his hand down to hold it between them "You are not stupid" "I am! I..." "You are not stupid" Hiccuping, Lance started to hyperventilate "I... I... can't..." Rubbing Lance's back, his friend didn't flinch like he'd expected "Shhh. You don't have to explain. You don't have to force yourself to relive it..." "I... thought... when... I killed him... it would get better... I... can feel... him..." Of course it wouldn't get better for Lance. His noble heart would have driven him crazy over his own actions "Lance, I need you to try and breathe for me" "I... c-can't..." "I can see that. Here... put your hand on my chest... feel that... feel me breathing. I need you to breathe with me. Ok?" "C-can't..." "You can. I know you can. Here... here, come on..." Rearranging the long tangle on limbs, Keith moved Lance so he was sitting in his lap facing him. Placing both of Lance's hands on his chest, he took the Cuban's face in his hands, forcing Lance to meet his eyes "Here... breathe in with me... and out with me..." He knew there were all kinds of things people did to help with panic attacks, but the breathing one was the one that stuck with him. It was what Shiro had used a hundred and one times, and it didn't force Lance to concentrate on the things around them. The last thing he needed was Lance pushing himself too far or thinking he was stupid because he couldn't name everything he smelt... which, if he said anything other than seasalt, rotten citrus and maybe just the hint of juniper flowers, would have been a wasted answer anyway. All Keith could see was Lance. All he could focus on was Lance. Bringing Lance's breathing under control, the younger male collapsed into his hold. His forehead pressed against Keith's chest between his palms "I'm... sorry" "No. Hey. You did nothing wrong" "I did everything fucking wrong" "You weren't supposed to know" "I don't think any less of you" Those were the wrong words. Climbing off his lap, Lance balled himself up on the blankets Keith had brought for the ship for him to lay on. He'd changed Lance out of his suit after he'd woken up agitated, thinking maybe the suit was what what had made things worse for him. The warmth and weight of Lance was missed the moment he was off, but it'd be selfish to pull him back against him purely because he needed the reassurance that Lance was still alive "Are you hungry? I have some food here?" "I don't want to eat... sorry" "Maybe some water" "Keith, stop. Ok. Just stop" "Stop what?" He'd stop whatever Lance wanted him to stop... if he knew what that was "You. Being so nice. It's not... you" That... stung. That stung far more than it should have with what Lance was going through "Lance..." "Stop being nice! Stop! Just stop! I can't take it!" Yelling into his knees, Lance let out a soft whimper as he wrapped his arms tighter around his legs "You did nothing wrong. Those people who... hurt you..." "God. You can't even say it. They raped me. They held me down... gagged me... and fucked me until I came... I was so scared... but I... fucking came... ugh... ugh..." Lance's breathing hitched, his friend breaking his self hold to throw up near his feet. Reaching out to comfort him, Lance slapped his hand away. His eyes filled with self loathing and guilt as he looked to him. His words a soft mumble, as more tears rushed down his cheeks "I came... I don't understand... I didn't want to... I didn't... it hurt so bad... but I did... what's wrong with me?" Softly he reached for Lance again, his voice barely above a broken whisper as tears rolled down his own face "Lance... there is nothing wrong with you" "You weren't there!" Flinching, Keith's hand dropped "I know" "They wanted Red. That's what it was all about... he wanted a p-pet Paladin..." The lions had gone. To where no one knew... it struck Keith at that moment that it could have been any one of them. Watching Lance like this, he cursed the universe for not letting him be the one who'd been there instead "They pinned me down... gagged me... I screamed and I screamed but the didn't stop. He didn't stop... he didn't..." "Lance. What they did to you..." "I deserved it..." Anger flared through every part of Keith at those three small words "No! No. No... Lance. You didn't deserve it. No one deserves that" "I did... I do... I deserve it all" Fuck it. Lance needed something more than words. Shuffling closer, he ignored Lance's whimper as he pulled him back into a firm hug, both arms wrapped around Lance's shoulders as he shook his head "You did not deserve it. God. If I could take this pain from you, I would in an instant. You're my best friend. You're my best friend I had no idea. I..." His dangerously close confession was cut off "Don't..." "Lance" "Keith... don't... not you too" That took a right turn... "Not me too, what?" "My... body... Allura changed it... something in my scent... attracts Galra. They kept telling me I smelt good... she brought me back wrong... and now I'm... wrong. I should have... died..." "No, Lance. No. I've cared about you for years now. You were my first friend apart from Shiro. You made living on the castle bearable. You. God. You deserve sunshine and daisies. All the fucking good things in this world" Lance sniffled loudly, while somehow managing to snort at the same time "I don't deserve anything" "You do" "I'm dirty" Ignoring what he meant, Keith swayed Lance gently "We both are" "I killed people" "I have too" "You... do it because it's your job... I... did because I wanted to... and it felt good..." A moment too long passed as Keith tried to articulate what he wanted to say "See. I'm just a sad loser from Cuba. I wrecked my family. Got raped. Got tortured. I'm addicted to drugs. I have fucking panic attacks and nightmares for no reason! I kill people and now I find those people... aren't even dead... I couldn't stop Allura from sacrificing herself. I couldn't stop Klearo from raping me. I couldn't get away... I could never do anything right! I wasn't a good Paladin. I was never as good as you. I wasn't smart and cool like Shiro. I can't cook like Hunk, or fix things like Pidge. Allura only dated me because Lotor was a dick... I couldn't even kill myself" "Lance, none of that is true" "I hate that name. I hate Lance" "Why? Why would you say that?" "Because he... can't ever be good enough... I just want it all to stop" Lance was more than good enough. He'd always been more than he thought he was "We'll get through this" "I don't think I can. I don't even know if I want to anymore. I'm so tired, Keith. I'm so tired of being alive. I can't function anymore. I didn't even want a fucking team... but I was lonely... it's all a fucking joke. You weren't supposed to know" "Knowing changes nothing about the way I feel about you" "I don't need your pity" "It's not pity. You're still you. You're just a slightly bad arse bounty hunter you" "I got Kre'el killed... she's... gone because of me and I didn't even know!" "Shhh..." "I... don't know what to do" "I don't either, but you're not alone. I'm going to be right beside you" "You can't... you have your own life" "I'm making this choice for me" "I don't want you throwing your life away" "I'm not" "You are!" "I'm not throwing my life away. I don't have much of a life without you. Nothing was the same with you on Earth. I thought... I was ok with you staying there if it meant you were truly happy" Emotionally exhausted, the resignation in Lance's voice was breaking his already broken heart in a whole other way "Happy? I can't remember the last time I was happy. My family were scared of me... no one knew what to do. I killed my girlfriend and came back... but I didn't fit there anymore. I planted fields of junipers and she never came back, Keith... she never loved me at all. She was... attracted to the bit of her soul in me... she never loved me for me" "Lance, she cared. We all saw it" "Loving someone is different from being in love... now I'm here. And she's gone..." "I know she is" "Rachel said I was a lady killer... she was right..." "No, Lance. Allura made her choice. None of this is your fault. None of it" When Lance didn't reply, Keith waited a few ticks before brushing the hair back from his face. Having cried himself to sleep, Keith wished he could do the same. Having built for so long, when the first wave of emotion came crashing through Lance, he'd lost all control. Everything had poured out in one horrific story. How Lance got out of bed in the morning, he didn't know. Keith felt crushed from the weight of Lance's confession, and he'd literally just heard it all. Giving Lance a few more moments to fall into a deeper sleep, Keith then went about removing the blanket covered in watery sick. With no food in his belly, it'd been more spit and bile than proper vomit. Laying Lance down, he wanted to respect Lance's wishes, but he simply couldn't let him go. Spooning up behind him, Lance fitted perfectly into his hold. How could anyone hurt such a beautiful creature? How could they ignore his cries? His screams? How Keith wished they were alive so he could take his time very slowly killing them. * Sleeping late, Lance wasn't in his hold when Keith woke up. Scrambling up, Keith span in circles. His heart starting to pound in panic. Lance had been so broken... so hopeless and helpless... "Lance! Lance?! Lance, where are you?!" His voice died in his throat as he whipped around. Daehra's pod was still there... Lance couldn't be too far. Running over to the pod the ramp was down, Keith barreling up and into the pod as he continued to panic "Lance!?" Picking up the discarded clothes, something small dropped to the floor. The tiny camera Daehra had fitted him with. He'd forgotten about the camera with everything that had happened. He'd only been focused on getting Lance as far away from that stupid outpost as possible. Placing the clothes down on the spare chair, he retrieved the device off the floor, surprised to see it'd survived the adventure with no visible damage. Sinking down into the pilot's chair, his attention was drawn to a badly scrawled note from Lance informing him he'd taken Kosmo hunting. Letting out a huff of relief, Keith sank back in the chair. Lance out there with a blaster didn't seem the safest of plans, but with Kosmo with him, he should be fine. Hopefully. Quiznak. It was all a fucking mess. Lance really shouldn't be wandering around like he was... but his attention was torn. The tiny camera had recorded all that had happened in the outpost. Whatever was going on there wasn't legal or right. People cut up got for parts. That wasn't fucking right. He didn't know how to handle this. He couldn't handle this alone. Not something this big... and it was possible Guile had met the same fate. It was a new threat to Blade members, and everyone working undercover. Pulling out the connector cord from his communicator resting on the dash, Keith uploaded the footage, before sending it through to his mother. He'd forgotten Lance's confession was on the tape. Everything that had happened had all happened too fast. Following up the message with a warning to watch alone, Keith disconnected the camera, leaving it on the dash as climbed from the chair. If Lance and Kosmo were hunting, maybe he'd be back soon? Keith hoped he'd be back soon. They had so much to talk about, and he couldn't do that while Lance was missing. Casually wandering back to the campsite like he hadn't caused Keith a varga and a half of worry, Lance was carting what Keith could only describe as three "space chickens". The birds hanging from one raised hand as Lance chatted away at Kosmo. Catching sight of the fact he was awake, Lance gave a strained smile as he approached "Hey. I took Kosmo. I hope you don't mind?" "No. He probably needed to get up and out. How long have you been awake?" Lance hummed, as if he needed to think about his answer "A few vargas... I thought since we're going to be here a while, Kosmo and I could scope the place out" "Oh..." "Yeah. Zak tried to make a tiny improvement on the Telula, and ended up melting the electrics in the armoury. They're not going anywhere until he's fixed it" The what now? "You called Daehra?" "Yep. You looked like you needed the sleep" "Like I needed the sleep?" Lance's thin smile dropped "Are you ok? You seem spacey?" Maybe because Lance was standing there, acting like the previous night hadn't happened "Me? Are you ok? Last night..." "Just forget about last night. I shouldn't have... put you in that position. I'm going to string these birds up, try to tell Kosmo he can't eat them" He wasn't going to forget about the previous night. He was pretty sure he going to remember that night until the day he died "Lance..." "Keith. I can't... let me put these birds up ok? Then we can have breakfast?" "Lance, we need to talk about all of this" "No we don't. Ok. We really don't. I never have lost my shit last night and told you what happened. I can't..." "We do. You're... you're not alone in all of this" "You don't know what you're talking about" Storming away, Lance stalked towards the pod while Kosmo whining as him as he dropped down by Keith's feet "Did you go hunting with Lance? How was he?" Huffing softly, Kosmo rolled onto his side "Yeah. I think I made him mad. Leave those birds of his lone. He really needs us both to be on our best behaviour. I need to talk to him. He's probably going to get really really mad at me, but he needs help. You know that too. Why don't you stop sulking and go hunt for some more of those birds?" Kosmo cast a glance to in the direction of Lance, silently asking him "why should he hunt when food was right there?" "You're a lazy shit. Everyone has been spoiling you far too much. Stay here then, but you're not getting anything to eat until Lance has eaten something. And I'm telling Hunk not to give you any treats next time he sees you" Kosmo's head shot up, the wolf looking offended "Yeah. That's right. You brought this on yourself. If you want any to eat, you have to go hunt for it yourself. I'm going to talk to Lance" Lance was stringing up the second bird as Keith came to join him. He was certain that ramp hatch latches hadn't been attached for hanging up game, but from the look of it Lance knew what he was doing "Keith. I don't want to talk about it" "I know. But I do. And I think we need to" Huffing, Lance continued to coil wire around the feet of the bird he was holding "What's left to say? Do you want to know how it felt? Or how much I bled? I have nothing left to say, Keith. I have nothing left" "That's not true" "Really? What do I have?! Where stuck here because of me. Because I couldn't hold my shit together. I could have gotten you killed" "Lance..." "And there's that! I'm sick of you saying my name like that. God. I wish you didn't know then I wouldn't have to see you looking at me like this" "I'm not looking at you like anything" "You are. With that pity and disgust" "Lance... I don't pity you. I'm not disgusted by you. What happened never should have happened to you. Or to anyone" "Yeah. Well. It did. If you're not helping with the birds, then go away" "I'm not going away" "The agreement was I get you there. I'm sorry, but Guile is probably dead. He's probably in one of those tubes. When we meet back with the Telula, you'll go back to Daibazaal and I'll... go back to whatever's left" "I'm staying" "Keith..." "I'm staying" "You can't just stay!" "And you can't send me away. I'm not going away. You're my best friend" "I'm not your best friend. I'm not even sure I'm even a friend anymore. Let alone a person" "You're so frustrating! Lance, I want to help you. I want to help you feel better. I want to be with you" "And what about what I want?" "You said it yourself, you don't know what you want" "Don't go throwing my words back at me. Ok. You don't get to swoop in here and save me" Crossing his arm, Keith frowned "I'm not swooping in to save you" "Really? Tell me that you didn't hear everything last night and went about immediately coming up with some kind of plan to "fix" me. You can't fix me Keith. I'm too fucking fucked up" "You're not..." "Not what? A drug addict? Pretty sure I qualified before I even got off Earth. A murderer pretty sure I qualify there. A goddamn monster? Hell I've got the trifector" "We can..." "What? Magically wave a wand make it all go away?! You should get as far away from me as possible. All this bullshit about you staying, it's only because I'm fucked in the head. All these hopes and dreams you've built up of magically saving me..." "I'm staying with you because I fucking love you, you idiot! I love you!" Lance started to laugh. The sound grating on Keith's ears as Lance laughed even louder "That's... that's a good one..." "I'm serious" "You're seriously delusional. Did you hit your head?!" Keith's temper flared, his hands falling to his sides as he balled his fists "Are you?! What the fuck have you been thinking?! Running around the universe like nothing happened! You're not happy and you're not coping!" "I was coping fine until you came along!" "Why are you being like this?!" "Being like what? Telling you the truth?" "This isn't the truth" "What would you know?" Struggling with the words, Keith cursed himself silently. Lance knew how he felt about him. He'd told him again and again not to say it, but if he didn't say it now, Lance would never understand. Taking a breath, he calmed himself the best he could before clenching his fists all over again and looking Lance in the eye "I know that I've been in love with you for years. Years, Lance. Before any of this happened. Before you started dating Allura. Before we came back to Earth. I... I fucking love you" "No" Dropping the last dead bird, Lance stumbled back "No! You don't get to say that" "Lance..." "You don't get to do this to me" Clutching his chest Lance sank to squat, his breathing growing irregular "Lance..." "Don't..." "Lance" "Don't call me that! Lance is dead! Lance doesn't exist" "You're Lance. You're my best friend and I'm Keith, the idiot who fell head over heels in love with you" "No..." Falling back onto his arse, Lance shook his head "... I told you not to say it!" "I'm saying it because it's true. I love you" Shaking his head harder, Lance's eyes were filled with unshed tears "You don't" "I do. I thought I could be happy if you were happy... I thought Allura would make you happy. I thought Earth would make you happy" "You don't love me..." Edging closer to Lance, Keith sank down to squat in front of him. Taking him by the wrists, Lance ripped with hands back with a whimper "Don't Keith... don't... you can't..." "I love you" "I'm dirty! They raped me... the raped me..." "I know what they did to you. And god I wish they were here so I could get them for touching you. But Lance, I love you" "I'm dirty..." "You're not dirty" "I... am..." "You're a bit of an idiot. But you're the best sharpshooter in the whole universe. You're the best person I could have as my right hand man. You're the person I hurt the most because I was goddamn scared of telling you how I felt. But I'm so fucking in love with you" Sniffling, Lance wiped at his face with both hands "You don't even know me anymore" "Then tell me about you. Tell me everything. Scream at me. Yell at me. Shoot me if you want to, but I can't find you dirty. I can't see you as anyone other than Lance. They're the ones who are dirty. They're the ones who are monsters" Sniffling and hiccuping, Lance wasn't having it "I'm the monster" "You're not a monster" "I thought they were arrested... not... chopped into pieces..." "You didn't know" "It doesn't change anything. They used you. They did this to you... And I am not leaving you. Not again..." "You can't promise that. You leave... you always leave... everyone leaves" "No. Hey. No... no, Lance. What happened with Allura was not your fault. Neither was what happened with Shiro. We were still kids when we got blasted into space. We were all trying to do our best" "You did. You were always good... you told me to leave the maths to Pidge, then you left. I tried to be happy... but... I don't even... I don't even know I can love you... like I did... I can't... give you... anything" "I don't want you too. I'm not asking you to date me. I'm not asking you to suddenly love me. What I want is to be here with you. I want to be the one you know you can lean on. Love isn't about kissing and sex. I haven't... uh... um... had sex. And I'm not sweeping in to save you. I don't know what you felt. I don't know your pain. I've only seen what you showed me, Lance, but I have seen some pretty messed up stuff. We all did. I'm... still not very good at this, but you need to know I don't think any less of you. If anything, I think you're strong. Strong and brave. You've been running a whole fucking crew. With all of this on your shoulders. You're so fucking strong" "I don't feel very strong. All I've been doing is fucking crying... and you're being so nice... I can't even get out of bed without the drugs, Keith" "Then we'll work through this together. Let me do the thinking for now? I think you said something about breakfast, after hanging this bird up. We have to let it drain, and let the meat set, right?" Lance tilted his head, his beautiful brow drawn slightly. It took him a few ticks before he finally replied "Yeah. And pluck it... you should know that, shouldn't you?" "I do. It just really hurts squatting down like this, and I'm getting kind of hungry" Lance snorted loudly, the stupid sound made Keith's heart flutter. He hadn't been rejected by Lance. He hadn't expected a relationship. Nor did he want to rush into one. Lance might never be ready for one. But he wasn't crying anymore. They'd talked a little... Most importantly, he'd finally be able to say those words. He was able to tell Lance how he'd felt about him. Love wasn't some magical cure. Telling someone you loved them didn't take away the depression, the self hatred, or even lighten the weight on their shoulders, but it did tell them that they weren't alone "You're so fucking weird" Smiling the best he could, Keith stood. His legs protesting as he did. Holding his hand out for Lance to take, he wasn't offended when Lance chose to climb up on his own accord. There were so many things they needed to work out. Personal boundaries being the higher priority for Keith "At least I'm not "hinky"" "Oh, you're definitely hinky. Big. Grizzled. Rugged and hinky..." "I am not" "You lived in a shack and went all cryptid hunter for the Blue lion" "Where else was I going to live?" "I don't know. I can't even think right now" "That's because you went hunting without having breakfast" "In my defence, I didn't think I was going to end up melting down again so soon" "Hey. You do know we'll get through this? I want to help as much as I can" "I know you want to... but there's still so much you don't know. The whole thing is a mess. I don't know how I'm going to face my team now..." Running his fingers through his hair, Lance looked like an adorable mess. It wasn't that Keith liked him suffering, and as guilty as it made him feel, there was some small part of his ego stroked by the fact he was the only one Lance was depending upon at the moment. Giving a soft smile, Keith was sure the team already knew, yet none of them thought any less of him. Anyone who did, would be finding themselves with a one way ticket out the nearest airlock "Lance, your team really cares about you. They're not going to think any less of you" "I'm not telling them. And I'm not telling anyone but you. Having one person know is bad enough... I know for a fact I can't handle two" "I won't tell. It's not my business to, but I am grateful that you did talk to me. Let's tie the bird up. There's still some food over near the blankets from last night. We can eat, then find a river? We're going to need clean water" "I found one with Kosmo this morning. I took a bath with him... if you want to go..." Lance looked slightly panicked, which was weird given his love of water "Lance. I'm not going to force anything. Look. I care about you, but this is your body. I'm not going to force you to strip down and come swimming. I'm not going to jump your bones the first moment I can. I mean it when I say I want to be here for you. I was thinking after breakfast we could come up with some basic rules? Things that you know seem to trigger attacks?" Lance sighed at him "I must look so pathetic right now... especially if you're the one being all calm and collected" "What's that supposed to mean?" "That you used to always act before thinking" "I don't know. You were crying your eyes out and instead of giving you space, I forced you into my arms" "Don't say it like that... forced... you gave me a hug" So "forced" was off limits... That was good. It felt like another step in understanding "I cradled you in my arms?" Rolling his eyes at him, Lance let out a huff "It's not my fault I can't remember... I'd literally just been blown up" "You'd just saved Coran's life... then you saved all of us" "This is getting too close and personal, Mullet. Go take Kosmo for a bath. I'll get breakfast ready" Keith frowned. Lance had been running around all morning by the sound of it. He should be resting, especially seeing he'd made him cry again "Stop looking at me like that. I just need a little space to calm back down. This is... I never wanted you to know and now you've decided you needed to tell me that you love me... you have no idea how fucked up all of this is... its..." "It's a lot?" "More than a lot. I'm not going to steal Daehra's pod, so go take a bath. There's some soap and a towel down by the edge of the water. Kosmo knows where to go" "Just how long have you been awake?" "That one's better if you don't know. Now stop fussing" Keith opened his mouth to ask if Lance would really be ok on his own, but the look of Lance's face cut through the words. Silently pleading with him for space, Keith nodded "A bath sounds pretty good. I've got my comm with me..." "I'll call if anything happens. Now shoo, you're making my eyes water" "I don't smell!" "Mhmm. You stink" "Rude!" "Doesn't make it any less true" "You're impossible" "I try" "God. Fine. I'm going" "Bye! Have fun" Leaving Lance to finish up with the birds, Keith whistled Kosmo over as he walked away from his crush. Was Lance still his crush? Now that his feelings were known... did it change things? He'd meant what he said. He wasn't about to rush Lance into anything he didn't want... even if curling up with him in his arms had felt incredibly right. He was going to need to have a good hard think about where to go now. Lance was intentionally hurting himself. He was also dosing himself up and jumping at everything. Wrapping his arms around Lance didn't make the trauma go away, but hugs did seem to be ok as long as they weren't sudden. Hugs with Lance felt way better than he remembered, possibly because he'd never really been one for hugs like Lance was... yet, a hug with Lance... was... it was stupid to say but it was everything he'd hoped it would be. * Keith had only just stripped off his clothes when his communicator started to ring. Lance had said there would be soap and a towel down by the waters edge, yet failed to mention the fact he'd washed his clothes and strung up a make shift clothes line while he'd been at it. He knew he shouldn't be surprised, yet each time Lance pulled out some nifty trick, he found himself falling even more for him. He'd known Lance was handy, but the way he simply went and got things done was... hot. Snatching up his communicator, he plonked himself down on a rock as he took the call, his mother's face set firmly as Keith frowned at her "What the quiznak have you gone and got yourself into?! Where are you right now?" "Nice to see you too, mum" She'd definitely watched the video then... and definitely wasn't impressed "Don't give me that. I told you to stay out of this" "Mum..." "And now you and Lance... where is he? Is he ok? We'll come get you" "Mum..." "I really can't believe this..." "Mum! Just... calm down. It's been a long morning as it is" "How am I supposed to calm down? You're my son... and Lance... I can't imagine how he's coping. Has he told his family?" Keith blinked at her, an uncomfortable feeling welling in his empty stomach "How..." "It was on the video. He does know you sent it through, doesn't he?" Groaning, Keith kicked himself mentally. Lance was going to kill him "Keith?" "No... so much happened. I forgot it was... fuck..." "Keith..." "Mum... I told him I wouldn't tell. I promised him. I've only just... he's so fucking scared and now everyone knows..." "Keith. No one else saw. I watched it through alone first. How is he, really?" "Not good. You should have seen him. He's been trying to cope with all of this on his own... but that outpost pushed him over. He.. was fucking crying" Tears were welling in his own eyes. He shouldn't be talking about this, even if his mother only wanted to help "I think we should come get you" Shaking his head, Keith wiped the tears from his eyes with his thumb "No... Its not you guys, but the people who hurt him were Galra. I don't know how he can look me in the eye. I wasn't even there, but I feel guilty over it all" Krolia pursed her lips as she closed her eyes. Opening them, she nodded slowly "I understand. Are you two safe?" "Yeah. We're waiting for Lance's team. We were going to meet them, but now we're staying here for a few quintants instead. Daehra told Lance there were ship troubles, but I think that was because she knows Lance needs some time to process" "Is there any thing I can do to help?" "Yes... no. I don't know. That outpost was fucking disgusting. But if Lance is on there saying that..." "I will edit it out. I know he may feel shame, but he is not to blame. Remember that Keith" Keith couldn't hide his offence. The fact his mother felt the need to tell him that stung "Mum. Really? You think I'm about to hold that against him? I've told him that I don't think any less of him. I can't believe you'd even think that" "I don't. I know you. I also know that you're better with your blade than your words" "I'm getting through to him fine. He woke up crying last night and we talked. We talked some more this morning. I was about to take a bath when you interrupted that" "Keith, I'm on trying to say that what Lance went through is something no one should have had to, and you should expect that things have changed in his eyes when it comes to things such as sex and love. I know you love him, but don't expect him to reciprocate those feelings, and if you're only helping him out of pity, then it could all blow up in your face" "Lance knows how I feel. I told him" His mother's face saddened "Keith..." "It's ok. I told him before I even knew that I wanted to stay with him. I gave him my word and I won't go back on that. As long as he needs me, as long as he lets me stay, I'm not going to give up on him" "It'll be hard. Hard on both of you. Remember not everything said in anger is true, but once said words can cut deeper than even the sharpest of blades" "I know that. But he makes me happy. He's always been there for everyone. It's past time someone was there for him" "I understand. You know you'll always be welcome on Daibazaal. Both you and Lance" "I'm not going away forever" "I know. I'll let you get back to your bath, and consult with Kolivan over the footage. If this is happening, we need to bring an end to the practice" "Thanks, mum. Knowing Lance, he'll probably want to rush back in. So I'm hoping these few quintants will help. You should check in with all over undercover operatives" Krolia raised an eyebrow "I am already on top of it. You're far too young to think otherwise" "Give me a break. I have a lot of thoughts going on right now" "Ooooh. That sounds dangerous. Don't think too hard, we don't want you head to explode" "I'm hanging up on you now" "You know you love me" Keith nodded, feeling the weight of the words "I do, mum. I'll... check in soon. Be safe" "You too. And anything you need, just call" "I will" Ending the call, Keith still felt guilty as hell that he'd sent the video through to his mother without even thinking about the fact Lance had confessed what had been done to him while it'd been recording. He couldn't change the fact she knew, but now that she did, their operatives would be made aware, possibly saving other Blade members. If the guilty clawing at his heart at the moment was anything like the guilt Lance felt, he could understand needing the drugs to get out of bed. It fucking sucked.

[blueplanettrash]

Why Would I Lie?

I have no idea where the ask to this went, or if it was even from an ask. Either way, I hope everyone enjoys! ❤️

When everyone got back to the Castle, Shiro had first priority over all of their attention since he came back close to death with his injuries and had to be put in the pods immediately. Lance brought up his concerns about mind-swishing to Coran before they joined the others and he took Hunk aside to another room to examine him for any neurological problems. While they waited for Hunk to return and Shiro to emerge from the pod they scattered themselves around the room.

“What happened to Shiro anyway?” Pidge asked, turning from where she was staring into the pod.

“The witch hurt him before we went through the wormhole but the fall really did some damage too, also those weird lizard monster things,” he added as an afterthought.

“Wait! Shiro fought monsters while he was bleeding out!?” Lance asked in shock.

“Well, kind of? He was more trying to get away from them then actually fight them, you know because he was bleeding out,” Keith said with a raised brow. Lance pouted and crossed his arms.

“I had to sprint across literally the entire planet to get to Shiro though, even jumped across a canyon with my boosters, and fought those lizard things off of him,”

“Coran and I were stuck in a time loop, every time we reset he got younger until he was just a baby,” Allura giggled. “The mice changed too, it was quite strange, we wouldn’t have been able to make it out if it wasn’t for Pidge and the Green Lion though,” she said smiling at the blushing green paladin.

“Whoa! Really? What happened?” Lance asked in amazement, rushing over to her. Pidge blinked up at him before giving him a proud smirk.

“It was nothing really, I just built a satellite to connect with the Castle,”  she said as if it was no big deal.

“That’s so cool Pidge! I didn’t know you could do that!”

“Yeah, well,” she chuckled proudly.

“What happened to you and Hunk? As soon as Green and I got there I just saw you two burst out of the ocean,” Pidge asked curiously, leaning against the centre console.

“Me and Hunk saved the whole quiznaking planet and everyone living there,” he said proudly, puffing his chest out dramatically.

There was a second of complete silence before they burst into laughter around him. Lance looked at them helplessly as their mocking giggles cut through the air.

“Do you honestly expect us to believe that?” Keith chuckled holding his stomach as he doubled over.

“It’s true!” he insisted.

“Oh, come on Lance, you? Saving an entire planet? Please,” Pidge huffed crossing her arms.

“Yes Lance, it doesn’t seem very realistic,” Allura chimed in.

“Realistic? You were going through time loops, how is that realistic?” Lance argued turning to point an accusing finger at her.

“Why would Allura lie?” Pidge asked, her form tense as if the very accusation made her angry. Lance looked at her in disbelief.

“Why would I lie?” He practically cried. Keith let out a breath of laughter.

“To make yourself look better after sitting at the bottom of the ocean for help?” Keith smirked. Lance looked at him with wide eyes. Why would he think that? Did he really come off as such an attention seeker?

“What! That’s not true, we followed a mermaid ba-,”

“A mermaid Lance? Really? You couldn’t think of something better than that?” Pidge cut him off.

“Yeah, come on Lance! Shiro almost died and you can’t stay out of the spotlight long enough to tell us the truth,” Keith bristled in anger. Lance wasn’t sure when the conversation turned to the black paladin but they were there now.

“I am telling the truth, they were being brainwashed and they didn’t know it, not even Queen Luxia,”

“Wow, first brainwashing, now a Queen? Don’t tell me, she confessed her undying love to you too?” Pidge mocked. Lance jolted back.

“What! No, we-,”

“Finally the truth comes out, why can’t conversations with you be that easy?” Keith laughed.

“Why would you say something like that?” Lance asked looking down at the ground. He knew that he didn’t make life easy for Keith but it was more of a bonding tactic than anything else. He didn’t mean to make Keith hate him, it was never his intention. Maybe he was just an easier person to hate than like.  

Keith looked like he was ready to say something else but they turned their attention away when they heard the doors to the med bay opening and they saw both Coran and Hunk walk in chatting happily to each other.

“Ugh, Hunk finally,” Pidge groaned walking over to him. Keith was following right behind her and they stopped in front of him with smiles on their faces.

“Tell us what happened when you and Lance got separated from the rest of us,” Keith pressed. They weren’t prepared for the excited grin that split across Hunk’s face at the suggestion.

“Oh my God guys, you wouldn’t even believe it! We quiznaking saved a whole planet!” He yelled in excitement, grabbing Keith’s shoulders and shaking him.

“We landed in the ocean and Lance saw a mermaid, at first I didn’t believe him but she was right there and we followed her back to her city and Queen Luxia. She let us have dinner with her but we ended up getting mind-swished, which is basically being brainwashed and then Lance got rescued by rebel mermaids and helped break me out of it, and we kidnapped Queen Luxia but it turned out that she wasn’t brainwashing anybody it was the Baku Garden which was really a giant sea dragon thing, oh man it was crazy! Then Lance hit it with a sonic boom and it dropped all these rocks on it, it was awesome!”

“I mean I guess Lance did most of it but I was there!” He recounted with sparkling eyes.

“Isn’t that awesome guys?!” He cheered looking at each of them. Except they weren’t looking back at him. They were both looking down at their feet, refusing to make eye contact with him and rubbing their arms awkwardly.

“Uh, guys?” He asked in confusion. “Um, Lance, what happen-,” he cut himself off as he finally looked over to his friend. His arms were at his sides, his hands clenched into fists and his eyes were narrowed into a glare directed at the ground. He could clearly see the beginnings of tear tracks starting to make his way down his face.

“Lance, buddy, what happened?” He asked gently, immediately walking over to comfort his friend. Lance silently shook his head, causing the tears that were welling up to roll down his cheeks.

“They didn’t believe me,” he whispered bitterly. Hunk tilted his head slightly in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I told them everything that happened and they thought that I was a liar! They thought that I was lying to make them think that I was better than them! They said that I could never do something like that!” he yelled angrily pointing at them. With every sentence that was spat from Lance’s mouth, they flinched violently, not able to drag their gazes up.

“They said it like I didn’t already think that Hunk,” he muttered quietly in the silent room. Their eyes went from ashamed to shocked horror and finally, they looked up at him.

He was clutched in Hunk’s arms, his face buried in his shoulder. His shoulders were trembling and his fingers were digging into Hunk’s shirt. Hunk soothingly ran his fingers through Lance’s hair.

“How could you do that?” Hunk’s venomous voice cut through them and they looked away again.

“No, look at me,” Hunk demanded with a growl. Hesitantly they did just that and were met with a dangerous glare.

“Hunk-,” Allura tried to start but went silent when Hunk levelled her with a scowl.

“Why didn’t you believe him?” Was the simple question that he asked.

“I thought he was trying to put himself in the spotlight again, like he was better than Shiro even though he almost died,” Keith admitted quietly rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness.

“What? So just because your best friend got hurt, you get to attack my best friend?” Hunk snapped, stepping forward slightly. Lance stood between them, pushing Hunk’s body back with a grunt.

“Hunk, it’s fine,” he muttered looking at the ground.

“No, it’s not Lance! None of this is fine and they need to actually take responsibility for their actions, it’s not right,” he argued. He pointed a finger at Keith over Lance’s head.

“What about when Lance almost died? Did I come after Shiro because someone other than Lance should have spotted that bomb? No! You don’t get to take your frustrations out on somebody else like that Keith!”

“I’m sorry,” he tried but Hunk only spun around.

“Why didn’t you believe him?” He turned his attention to Pidge. She shrunk under his gaze.

“It just didn’t sound like something that Lance would be capable of, I mean, saving a planet?”

“You know better than anyone that when Lance gets something in his mind he will accomplish it no matter what, you’ve seen him through good and bad, how could you be so ignorant to expect anything less than extraordinary things from him, since you first met him, has he ever lied to you?”

“No,” she admitted quietly.

“I didn’t think so, besides he’s a paladin of Voltron and we’ve already saved plenty of planets, what makes this one so different?” He walked away from her, closer to where he could see Allura watching him with wary eyes.

“What about you?” He asked tiredly. He didn’t want to lecture all of them but they had to learn that hurting people was not okay. He knew that Lance wasn’t going to stand up to them, he would just laugh it off like it was fine.

“Lance hardly seems like the kind of person that could take a mission like that seriously,” she told him impassively. Hunk gritted his teeth in anger and clenched his hands tightly.

“That’s what makes you so infuriating to follow sometimes!” he snapped.

“Excuse me?” Allura gasped in shock.

“Don’t act so offended! You always think that you know so much better than any of us, why is that? Why do you get to look down on us when we were dragged from our homes, and forced to fight in a war that we have no reason to be in. We already had enough problems on Earth, problems that we were training to take care of, and Lance was our leader! So don’t think that you can dismiss him as a nuisance because I would turn my back to follow Lance instead of you in a heartbeat,”

Allura looked helplessly at the others in the room, gazing at Coran for longer but he only looked away in disappointment.

“I’m sorry,” she stuttered out.

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Lance he’s the one that you guys hurt,” he grimaced looking back to see Lance gazing at Shiro’s healing pod. His hood was covering his head with the straps cinched as if to try and block out the sound around him.

Hunk went to him, laying a hand on his shoulder. Lance looked over his shoulder at him, the tears had stopped falling but it was obvious that the pain in his eyes was still fresh. Both of their arms shot out when Shiro came tumbling out of the pod and right into their hands.

Shiro sat right where Lance sat when he came out of the healing pod, slowly eating a bowl of food goo and listening to what happened before he came out.

“Whoa, that’s crazy impressive Pidge!” He complimented her as she finished telling him about the giant satellite she built on Green’s back. His eyes drifted over to Lance and Hunk, strangely Lance had his hood built up and Hunk was standing closer than usual to him, almost protectively.

“What about you guys? What happened?” He could see that Lance’s eyes were a little puffy, perhaps from crying. It wasn’t something that he was about to bring up though, not in front of everyone else anyway. He would try to talk to him later to see if he could help in some way. With a slight nudge, Hunk bumped Lance forward. He looked back at him curiously but he could see him eyeing Shiro instead.

He looked back at Shiro and saw him smiling at him encouragingly.

“We, ah, we saved a planet,” he said quietly. At that, Shiro dropped his spoon with a clatter and gaped at him.

“What? No way! What happened?” He asked leaning forward in excitement. Lance’s eyes widened.

“You believe me?” He stated in shock.

“Well, yeah it’s not that hard to believe, I mean we are flying around space in mechanical cats,” Shiro laughed laying his elbows on the table. “Now tell me what happened!”

At that, Lance’s smile returned and he eagerly recounted their mission from the first glimpse of Florona to the kiss he got from Plaxum.

They watched Shiro and Lance talk and understood how they needed to change. They had to believe in their fellow paladin, their friend. He had listened to all of their stories with a sense of wonderment, never once thinking that they had told him lies. Even though he listened to them with such excitement, they shut him down within a few words with nothing else but their own opinions of him. Hunk was right, it wasn’t fair to him and the only thing they could do now was give it time.

Stories Masterlist

[whattheklance]

The rest of my season 6 thoughts

OHMYGOSH

what a season

WHAT a season

the next chunk of writing, right below here, was from when i was on the episodes I was talking about before I finished them all

KEITH IS TALLER THAN LANCE after two years

ALSO that means Keith is 21 now, even if no time has passed for everyone else.

man. i think the only reason Lance was "oh look keith's back" was mostly his bitterness over lotor and allura. it's like that bitterness revived his original behavior around Keith from the beginning. even if keith is acting different.

I wouldn't have even thought or noticed Keith was bigger or had grown if fucking LANCE hadn't pointed it out. of course lance is the first and only one to notice. not even in person but via a screen

i also forgot about the cliffhanger already that keith and krolia had found an altean. that d&d episode kinda wiped it from my brain.

and lotor had me fooled too.

though before i started watching i had read someone's post who pointed out how much lotor always told the truth but would lie through omission. not sharing any details that would paint him in a negative light.

is the tenderness he's expressed with allura also part of the lie?? cuz that seemed so genuine.

OHHHHH MYGOSH OHMYGOSH

one of my theories was RIGHT. that the shiro who returned to earth was ALSO a clone!!!

when keith first walked into that room with pods, my FIRST thought was "are all of those Shiros????"

AND OHMYGOSH they were.

when i saw the title of this episode was "the black paladins" my first thought was "does this mean not only keith and shiro, but MULTIPLE shiros will be in this episode???" AND YES. ugh yes.

i don't care that i was right. cuz this was like one of HALF A DOZEN theories i came up with.

i think original shiro NEVER returned to earth

which possibly means that haggar let the blades release A shiro because 1) it wasn't the real one and 2)she might have always intended him to be a paladin.

but i am REALLY attached to the clone shiro we got to know and love and I PRAY that we get to see him again.

and i jumped to a conclusion too quick up there. though a theory of mine was STILL RIGHT, a slight variation on what i just said. I know I have an old post where I theorized that Shiro disappeared because he BECAME ONE WITH THE BLACK LION

AND OHMYGOSH THATS WHAT HAPPENED

it's funny. there was a huge theory going around that something like that could happen to lance and the blue lion, even though there weren't really any solid grounds to think that would happen. But that's what happened to Shiro.

After Keith talked to Shiro and truly bonded with the Black Lion thanks to him. I thought we'd have to say goodbye to Shiro it REALLY felt like he wouldn't be coming back. Like we'd lost him already back in season 2.

and then them having to sacrifice the castle of lions, their home away from home. was even more loss on top of that.

so when we got Allura putting Shiro's spirit from the Black Lion into the clone's body. My heart was swelling. I was so relieved. And I like that it turned his hair all the way white. kinda like when Gandalf the Grey "came back from the dead" as Gandalf the White.

There were SO MANY wonderful beats in this season. Lots of signs of REALLY great storytelling

But I can't help but feel like someone took the great story the team wanted to tell and condensed it way too much. You can still see the elements of what they planned, but lots of important parts felt too rushed

We already know that netflix or dreamworks mandate forced them to bring shiro back a whole season sooner than the creators wanted to. I can't help but wonder what other mandates happened that limited their plans.

The WHOLE Shiro story was a thrilling concept and had some good beats in it. But it also happened a little too fast. Like, Lance's interactions with Shiro in season 5, I felt like that should have led somewhere instead of being dismissed. Even if they wanted the betrayal to seemingly come out of nowhere and surprise the team the way it did, they could've had Lance travel a little ways towards the truth, but have something happen that causes him to dismiss it. It also would’ve amplified his grief upon the betrayal happening, like he could’ve prevented it.

hell even clone shiro. Gonna call him Kuro from now on. He suspected something was wrong. That’s why I thought we were going to get SOME kind of investigation/test, even if it was limited to one episode ANYTHING. i would’ve taken ANYTHING of that nature.

I really wanted Kuro to have some sort of agency beyond his programming. For him to possibly get redeemed or something. I mean, he resisted. He wanted to resist before Haggar forced control. But in the end he was just a device for conflict, and a deus ex machina to resurrect real Shiro. kinda bummed we didn’t get any other clone shiros beyond the sleeping ones in the pods. I liked the idea of a shiro army, good or evil. But maybe they were just empty husks to be used by haggar when one breaks.

It'd be awesome if this wasn't the end of their story, and Shiro in the new body actually had Kuro's voice in his head or something, kinda like 80's Rogue in the x-men with Ms.Marvel's voice in her head. But sadly, it kinda of feels like this is the end of the Shiro Clone Saga.

More on the whole rushing good plot points. The whole reveal of Lotor's true nature with Keith returning. It felt very abrupt, and it didn't help having the D&D episode separating the cliffhanger of Keith and Krolia finding an Altean and the reveal.

Still, even though it all happened faster than I wished, all the beats with the Keith vs Shiro, and Keith discovering real Shiro and unlocking the Black Lion, and even his two year time gap, experience with the Blade and with his mother, crafted him into a confidant fighter who could finally take the lead in voltron, vastly opposite of his pre-blade self. I feel like this character arc, even though it was still too brief init of itself, makes up for some of the lost development from when Shiro should've been gone longer. We wanted to see the new team develop more than we got to. So it was really satisfying seeing them come together now, and feeling like we really saw Keith transform since he last piloted the Black Lion. Even though we had a long keith shortage with seasons 4 and 5, they still managed to have key episodes that developed his arc that led him to who he became in the finale.

though i'm relieved we got original shiro back, i feel like his being brought back was rushed too. Like, I get how that type of scene feels right for a season finale, especially with the fight and losing the castle of lions, but I wish there was more time and development between Keith's discovery of him and his actual return at the end.

KEITH GOT THE GALRA mark from his straining to hold onto his life and Kuro's. I almost was expecting him to fully transform into a galra form of his own. Maybe that's in his future, cuz I think everyone wants to see something like that. I hope the gang comments on his mark in the next episode (did anybody get Star Trek (2009) reboot vibes in that scene?? i feel like there was a scene with Kirk and Sulu that was very similar action-wise with the whole collapsing planet-to-space structure)

Man, so this season Lance had to deal with his Allura feelings and losing her to Lotor. Then Allura had to deal with having her heart broken from falling for Lotor then learning how she was used. Ever since Lance faced his feelings he hasn't been the flirt towards Allura anymore. I hope it stays that way. I love Lance and I love Allura, but I really hope the writers don't take us a romantic route. Like if they did start to do something like that, I'd keep my fingers crossed that its purpose would be to show one or both of them that they aren't right for each other. Like, try to get together only to hilariously fail and decide against it. like Rachel and Joey in friends.

They didn't do anything with Allura presumably learning Lance's feelings from the mice. i’m surprised. i was a little worried when that happened. again, i feel like that not becoming anything could also be a sign of omitted story points.

THEY'RE FUCKING GOING HOME

and i can't help but think how we have seen neither hide nor hair of Sendak's coalition since the episode they fought and ran. They're fully functioning. a huge danger. And I remember reading a meta post after last season talking about how sendak understands better than anyone that to beat voltron is to threaten innocents lives, and to ultimately defeat voltron he'd threaten their home planet. A planet incapable of defending itself against galra tech. He even re-demonstrated those tactics AGAIN this season with the galra shield base. As if to remind us he does that...for next season. where the gang goes home only to find sendak's taken earth or something. or at least has a blockade to threaten it.

this season seriously delivered. Razor's Edge, I stand by as being the best episode of the series thus far. But man The Black Paladins episode was on par with Keith's Blade of Marmora reveal episode in season 2, which I put in the top 5.

Good season, despite the fact that possible executive mandates possibly limiting the writing all around felt VERY visible. Even if it's never confirmed for the things I felt were rushed. I feel like I can see that it’s there. I feel like I can see the story they want to tell, and then everywhere I feel was rushed was like an artificial constraint that forced them to cut something out of the story they want to tell.

Cuz it feels like, from the sheer quality of beats within the characters' arcs, anyone, who could craft what we've already seen, would understand the appropriate amount of story needed to properly depict it, and do it justice, but it's like someone who doesn't have the same understanding has told them to make it shorter, cuz reasons. And that’s how we got the end result

PS. i wonder if Kuro’s sheer blandness as Shiro playing D&D was a reflection of his programming. He couldn’t be inventive or imaginative, and his sole purpose was to be a paladin, to infiltrate, so that’s what he chose every time, constantly the same character. Cuz I feel like real Shiro wouldn’t play the same way. Of course it was funnier having that kind of character, but I really think that might’ve been for that purpose.

[mustardsavant]

Plance Prompt: Pidge helps Lance find an outfit for asking someone, but doesn't realise that she is the one he wants to ask.

Thank you for the prompt! This found a life of its own, ended at ~2k

Pidge stomped her foot and looked at the time on her tablet for the fifth time. Next to her, Hunk sighed and gave her a helpless shrug, looking towards the mall exit where they were supposed to be picked up at anytime.

“I’m going to go find him,” Pidge was already turning back towards the multitude of shops.

Hunk bit his lip, bending his knees nervously as he eyed the exit again. “Coran will be here soon. And we promised Shiro we would run drills after dinner… soooo…”

“Well, go wait for Coran and tell him what’s up. ‘Lance got lost and I’m going to find him’ or something. I’ll find him, just wait for us at the exit.” Pidge headed down the row of shops without waiting for Hunk’s reply, grumbling about “stupid Lance” and “he just had to go off on his own. Too good for me and Hunk”.

She poked her head into a few of the more cluttered stores, not bothering with the open layout ones. At the escalators, she paused. “He split from us when we were still downstairs, and rode up here.” She stood in front of the up escalator as if she just got off and looked around. He’d only been gone thirty minutes, give or take so he probably wasn’t too far.

She spotted a shop which looked to have Earth goodies, her and Hunk passed up on checking it out earlier because of their limited time- but it was the sort of place Lance could get lost in for hours. Just as she stepped away from the escalators, a familiar green jacket caught her eye on the other side of the walkway.

Lance didn’t seem to be aware of the time as he meandered into another shop. Of all the shops, Lance chose a clothing boutique. Pidge followed him in, noting the two bags already in his hand.

“Lance,” She said in most deadpan voice she could muster.

He jumped, turning around to face her and clutching his bags to his chest. “Pidge. Um. I thought you and Hunk were cool with me uh, doing my own thing.”

“We were, until you didn’t show for the pick-up time.”

Lance groaned. “I still don’t understand why we couldn’t take our own pods.” At Pidge’s incredulous face, he added, “Yea, yea; too high risk, we could get caught, what if this, what if that. Well, I say it’s worth the risk for a man to be able to shop on his own time!”

Pidge leveled a stare at Lance. “Whatever. Let’s go, Coran is probably getting fed up with waiting.”

Lance bit his lip, deflating. “Fine,” He surrendered and walked towards her with his shoulders sagged and bags hanging limp at his side.

“Wait.” Pidge sighed. “We’re already late, a few more minutes won’t hurt. Get what you need here. Quickly.”

Lance blushed and ducked his head. “I don’t know if I’ll have luck here.”

Pidge reached for the rack behind him and plucked a garment of its hanger. It looked about Lance’s size, actually the whole boutique looked to be about human sizes and proportions with only a few styles having more than two arm holes. “See, finding something that fits won’t be hard.”

Lance wrinkled his nose at the orange and green onesie with a sweater-like material. “Yea…. That’s half the battle.”

Pidge shrugged. “If it fits. And it looks comfortable. Not like anyone will really see you wear it.”

“Not… exactly. I found a practical outfit.” He motioned to the bags he was holding. “But… uh… I need something special.”

“Special?” Pidge blinked up at him. Why would Lance need- ooooh, they were going to be checking allies in sector D390 in the coming days, and Gunga City was on that route. Hunk mentioned something about a mer-lady or something. What was her name? She mentally shrugged. “Like, for a lady?”

Lance wouldn’t meet her gaze and silently nodded.

“Well. Let’s find something that will impress her more than your paladin armor…” Pidge moved through the racks of clothes, hiding her disappointed frown from Lance. Flirting was one thing. Lance flirted with everyone- well, everyone except her. Yet, she hadn’t given up hope. But if he was putting effort into something beyond lame lines?

She smiled to herself, weirdly happy for Lance. She only hoped he didn’t get his heart broken. A blue shirt caught her eye, it was reminiscent of an Earth style, though the collar was a more ornate cut. It would suit him well.

“What about this one?” She turned to hold it up for Lance and didn’t see him. “Lance?”

He emerged from a hidden door which led to a dressing room. “I found it. Let’s go.” A pile a white and blue was bunched in his arms and he quickly took them to the shop keep to pay for them. Pidge looked around to figure out what he purchased, but blue and white was in most of the clothing.

“Come on, we’re going to be late.” He grabbed her wrist and briskly walked out.

“Oh, now you care about the time?” Pidge let him drag her out of the store. Her arm felt cold when he let go.

Hunk waved as they came into view. He was leaning against the wall, and pushed off it when they got to the door. “He just now got here.”

Lance smirked, “See, no harm!”

They wordlessly piled into the pod, both Hunk and Pidge sitting across from Lance. Coran was his chipper self as he prattled on about his memories of this smaller mall 'back in the day’.

“I was soooo bored waiting for you guys.” Hunk eyed Lance’s bags, “What was so important anyway?” He pulled Lance’s bags towards him. While Lance protested, Hunk poked into each one. “Clothes? A hat? More clothes? What’s this?” He held up a bottle to examine.

“Moisturizer for my face.” Lance snatched it out of Hunk’s hand along with his bags.

Pidge sighed, staring out the window as the two best friends bickered.

They arrived back at the castle just before dinner. Hunk and Pidge made a beeline for the dining room while Lance ran to stow his bags in his room.

Shiro and Keith were already seated and greeted them when they entered. “Have fun? Buy anything good?”

Pidge slumped into her seat, “No luck.”

Hunk grinned. “I tried some great dishes at the food court.”

“Yea, those were good.” Pidge was infinity happy Hunk convinced her to try some. “You two have fun with Allura?”

They shared a look. Shiro sighed, “I didn’t expect her to want us to reorganize the library. I thought it would be a fun day of reading, maybe find something that could help us.”

“She didn’t even want to break for dinner.”

By the time Lance joined them, the food was already served. He fell into the seat opposite of Pidge and dug in without a word. Hunk shot him a look and mumbled about “annoying best friends”.

Coran came to take their plates. “Now, now, don’t rush off. I have a yummy dessert for you guys!”

Pidge frowned and shot Shiro a questioning look. He wouldn’t have-

She got her answer when Coran burst back in with a plate of cupcakes and sat one with a slim candle in front of her.

“Guys…” She glared at Shiro, who smiled brightly at her.

“Happy birthday,” Shrio and Keith said in unison.

“Happy birthday!” Hunk nudged her with his shoulder and handed her a small bag. She sniffed it and immediately recognized the fudge-like confection they found earlier.

“Thank you!”

Lance blinked at her from across the table. “I didn’t know. Uh. Happy birthday.”

“Happy birthday,” Coran said, distracting her from Lance. She hadn’t even wanted them to know, so why did Lance not knowing hurt so much? “Now, I believe tradition on Earth is to blow out the candle and make a wish?”

Pidge blew out the candle without fanfare, and wouldn’t share her wish no matter how much Coran and Hunk pressed. Truth was, she didn’t wish for anything.

After a short training session with the lions, they all called it a night. Pidge was settling into her room when someone knocked at her door.

She opened her door, finding Allura beaming at her. “Sorry I missed your birthday celebration at dinner. I hadn’t realized it was today… anyway…” She handed her a book. “I hope you like it. I found it while cleaning out the library and just knew you should have it.”

Pidge looked down at the book. It was mostly photos and drawings of plants and small animals. “Allura…”

“Is this…” She recognized the language as Dalterion.

Allura pulled her into a hug. “Trigrel would want her studies to go to the new green paladin. If I find more of her note books, I’ll pass them along.”

“Thank you, Allura.”

“Well, good night.” With that, she left.

Before Pidge could return to her bed, another knock came at her door. She opened it, “Forget something, Allu-”

Lance shuffled his feet. “Uh, hi Pidge.”

“Hi, Lance?” She eyed him from head to toe. “Is this the outfit you bought to impress your lady friend?”

Lance nodded. Pidge took in the outfit, it was almost Altean in style, but without the flash of Allura and Coran’s outfits. It fit him well, accenting his strong chest and lithe waist. The blue brought out his eyes perfectly.

“I think she’ll love it. It’s a little over the top, but so are you.” Pidge was about to wish him good night when Lance sighed.

“Mind if I come in?”

“Uh, sure?” She held open the door for him, taking note of his fidgeting. “Everything alright?”

Lance nodded.

“Sooooo?”

Lance threw his head back. Pidge barely heard his whispered, “Ugh! Why am I so bad at this?”

“Lance.”

“Okay!” Then, calmer, “okay.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Here.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out box with a bow on it. Without looking at her, he thrust the box in her direction.

Pidge took the offered box.

“Happy birthday.” Lance shuffled his feet again. “I lied earlier. I just wanted to give this to you alone.”

Pidge carefully opened the box. “A game boy?” She blinked up at Lance.

“I could only find two games for it…”

Pidge launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Thank you!” She pulled away, “I thought you didn’t really care that much…”

“Of-” Lance cleared his throat, “-of course I care. I spent all day searching for the perfect gift and the perfect outfit.”

Pidge’s brain shut off. “Come again?”

Lance swallowed. “I’m a mess around you. I can’t flirt, I get tongue tied. And I didn’t know how else to… ask you…if…so, I wanted to get you  great gift. As soon and Shiro mentioned your birthday I knew I wanted to find this for you. And you’re a good friend, so don’t think this is just because I like you as more than that. Well, it is. But I get all of my friends great birthday presents, ask Hunk. And-”

“Lance.” Pidge sighed at the man in front of her. “You’re such a dork.” She wrapped her arms around him again. “I can’t wait to play the games. Thank you.”

“Um.” Lance held her loosely.

“I like you too,” Pidge said into his silky shirt. “You could have just told me instead of the fanfare.”

“Psssh. You like it, Pidge.”

“Yea,” She admitted. “And Lance? Call me Katie.”

Thank you again for the cute prompt!

[after-midnightmunchies-moved]

Okay, so I haven’t been able to get this post by @voltron-messenger out of my head for the past few days, so to get out of my writing slump, I wrote my own adaptation of it...

“What do you mean Lance is ‘missing?’” Keith emphasized his confusion with air quotes. Clearly that had to be an exaggeration. The blue paladin had been moping around the castle just a couple of hours ago.

Keith himself had finished training early to spend time with the brunet. He thought he’d made the offer to join him in the training room pretty clear in his text, (everyone knew that the way to Keith’s heart was through sparring), but when Lance failed to show up, he figured he should probably compromise and search for him.

He’d just entered the bridge to find all of the remaining residents of the castle huddled around Coran’s station, where he was frantically typing at the controls. The large hologram of their quadrant of the universe was up, and the gorgeous man seemed to be running a scan, the individual planets and nebulas flying by.

“How many more sectors do we have to scan?” Shiro asked worriedly.

Keith was just about to announce his arrival, maybe ask for one of Hunk’s Quick-Fire Recaps™, when Allura answered, “It’s hard to be sure, Shiro. While his isn’t the fastest lion, it can still cover some ground. His sonar could also mask our sensors if he really doesn’t want to be found.”

She turned to the other paladins then, a hard expression on her face. “Whatever you do, don’t tell Keith that Lance is missing!”

His heart skipped a beat at the words, a lump forming in his throat. She must have misspoken. Maybe she meant to say, ‘Don’t tell Keith that Lance’s lion is missing, because then they’ll start fighting and honestly we get enough of that on a daily basis!’

Unfortunately, Pidge’s words confirmed his terror. “It’s kind of too late for that, Princess.”

The other members of the team turned to him with varying degrees of shock and sympathy on their faces. Allura bit her lip and avoided his gaze anxiously. “How much of that did you hear?”

Keith inhaled deeply in an attempt to keep his voice even. “What do you mean Lance is ‘missing?’ Is this some kind of lame joke?”

Hunk and Pidge exchanged anxious looks as Shiro approached the red paladin, his human hand outstretched toward Keith’s shoulder. “Keith…”

Keith practically leaped back, batting the hand away. “Don’t ‘Keith’ me! What the quiznak is going on here?”

“Didn’t you notice? We’ve been texting Lance for hours in the group chat and he isn’t responding.”

“It seems our dear blue paladin was feeling down and took his lion out for a ride,” Coran supplied, still concentrated on his console. “I have his departure logged here about five hours ago. He seems to have turned his tracking off, so I’d wager he just wanted some alone time.”

Keith shook his head, rushing to the Altean’s side. “No, Lance’s idea of ‘alone time’ is giving himself a two hour mani-pedi followed by a homemade facial mask in his room.”

“That’s true,” Hunk agreed with a nostalgic smile. “Sometimes, back at the Garrison, he’d mix an extra mask for me and chase me around our dorm until he got it on.”

“Right! And I know for a fact that he hasn’t done that in a few weeks because I can usually smell the tonics from my room, so that can’t be the reason.”

“Then what’s your theory, Keith?” Allura asked curiously.

“I think…” The words died in his throat as reality sank in. Lance didn’t like to show it, but he was incredibly sensitive. He came from a big family, so he was probably used to hiding his emotions; running away might have been a defense mechanism for him as a kid. “Shit!”

It was his fault! It was all his fault! He shouldn’t have chosen training over him! He should’ve rushed to Lance’s room and popped a DVD into the player and texted Hunk to bring snacks and curled a blanket around them and –

– and what? Lance didn’t seem to see him that way. The blue paladin might’ve been open to the cuddles in the moment, but nothing would’ve sprung from them.

He still needed it, his subconscious reminded him. Even if he doesn’t return your feelings, he still needs your love and support.

“Keith?”

“He needs someone!” Keith didn’t know where the bold declaration had come from, but he didn’t stop there. “He really shouldn’t be alone right now. He’s probably in a lot of pain, and having Blue with him isn’t going to be enough!”

Allura pushed Coran to the side and began typing intensely at the projected keyboard. Altean coding flew across the screen too rapidly for anyone to pick up on. The console suddenly lit up, a corresponding section on the holographic map blinking.

“There!” Allura shouted exuberantly, pointing at the spot, which appeared to be one of many moons orbiting a large planet.

“I’m going for him!” Keith declared adamantly. “I have the fastest lion, and no offense Shiro, but I’m probably the best pilot, and Hunk I know you’re his best friend, but it just needs to be me–”

“Keith!” Shiro’s voice boomed commandingly. His expression softened when he locked eyes with the frantic red paladin. “Go bring our sharpshooter home.”

“I’ll send the coordinates to Red,” Allura agreed.

“And!” Keith turned to leave, but was stopped by Shiro’s voice again. “Make sure that you tell him.”

“Yeah, it’s about time!” Pidge grumbled teasingly. “I’m getting tired of watching you two dance around each other.”

Hunk came up behind him and draped an arm around his shoulders. “Trust me, man, he needs to hear it. Now go!”

Not needing to be told twice, Keith dove into his pod.

Lance, I know you’re ignoring everyone’s messages in the group chat, but hear me out…

We really didn’t mean to hurt you… We were just caught up in our own stuff and we got a little selfish, yknow?

We need you and care about you.

Still no response. Ugh, why did he have to fall for such a drama queen?

Was he really about to do this? There was no guarantee that he’d even get a response.

Red’s reassurance in his head moved his fingers across his phone before he could even think about what he was typing.

I need you. That’s why I’m on my way to bring you back.

Silence.

Keith clenched the controls tighter to avoid banging his head into the dashboard. Of course Lance would make light of his near-confession! What did he expec-

… you found me?

Keith tuned Red’s victory gloat out to compose a response.

Yeah, Allura tracked Blue.

Knowing that he still had a way to go, he added,

Are you okay?

Fortunately for his heart, the response was quicker this time.

i’m fine. just go back to the castle. you’re just coming because you feel guilty and i don’t want that.

“Damn it Lance!” Keith felt his heart sink. How had he neglected to notice the hurt that the other had been sporting?

I’m not going back without you. And I DO feel guilty, but only because I treated you like shit and you don’t deserve that at ALL.

The typing bubble disappeared for a moment, as if Lance was rethinking his response. When it came in, Keith’s heart nearly shattered at the words.

seriously keith just give it up, ok?

“The fuck I will!”

Absolutely not.

why??? you didn’t give a shit about me earlier so why now?

The words spilled into the textbox before he could mull them over in his head. His mind and rationality took a backseat to his heart, and fuck it all he was throwing caution to the wind.

Lance, I always care about you… I was so stupid earlier. I wasn’t thinking… None of us were.

You deserve the entire world and I wish I could give it to you…

A few agonizing minutes passed without a response. Keith had taken the autopilot back from Red, if only to distract himself from the throbbing in his chest and the bile wanting to rise from the prospect of being rejected. Finally, the typing bubble came back, and Keith rushed to switch the controls back to Red before the answer came in.

… come find me and you can

Well that was awfully vague and anticlimactic. Keith reread the words over and over as he tried to dissect their meaning.

When the underlying innuendo finally hit him, he nearly fell out of his seat. Holy shit, was Lance saying what he thought he might be saying? He had to be sure.

What do you mean?

The planet finally came into view, a large gas planet reminiscent of Jupiter. He directed Red to scan the moons for Lance and Blue.

i mean, like… agh this is awkward

That did nothing to clear anything up.

??

There was no sign of them on any of the moons on this side of the planet, so he steered Red in closer. As he did, he felt his phone vibrate with two more messages.

i’ve liked you for a really long time

if you care enough to come find me right now, fair warning: i’ll probably interpret that as you liking me back

Holy shit was this really happening???

“Red, can you pinch me? I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming right now.” His seat suddenly burned his thighs. “Geez, girl, it’s just an expression!”

A blue dot appeared on his screen, highlighting a large crater that resembled a lake. It made sense that Lance and Blue had chosen a location related to their element.

As he directed Red in the direction of the dot, he typed back a reply.

Well, that’s good because that would be a correct interpretation…

Lance’s response was immediate.

… for real?

Keith smiled bittersweetly. If Lance said anything else even remotely self-depreciating, he was going to smother him in affection. Then again, he was probably going to do that anyway…

Red and I just landed.

Tell me exactly where you are and I’ll prove to you how “for real” I am

He managed to spot the blue lion as they came in for a landing, pulling up right beside them. He could feel Red relax upon being reunited with Blue, the thought of their lions together bringing a smile to the paladin’s face. His phone lit up as they came to a stop.

… yes sir :)

He leaped out of his seat as soon as Red was settled, petting the console affectionately before racing out onto the planet. Lance was already waiting for him beneath Blue, a shy smile on his face.

“You really came for me,” he whispered when Keith was close enough.

“Of course I did,” the red paladin whispered back. He cupped the brunet’s face with his hands, fingers playing with the curls at the back of his neck. He could feel the other’s pulse, certain that his heart was beating just as erratically.

Lance leaned into the touch, his smile softening. His hands settled at Keith’s hips, the touch almost hesitant. It seemed fairly uncharacteristic of the usually flirtatious brunet, but Keith found that that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. If anything, it indicated that he wasn’t just another one of Lance’s conquests, and that thought alone made him want to jump the paladin right then and there.

“So…” Lance laughed uneasily. “Are you gonna own up to your promise, or keep me in suspense?” It was hard to miss the blush that spread from his nose to the tips of his ears.

Keith raised a brow, a sly grin on his face. “Is the great Lance McClain nervous about a kiss?”

“Wh-What?” Lance scoffed dramatically. “No way! I’m just wondering if you’re man enough to kiss me! I’ve heard that guys with mullets–”

Keith rolled his eyes and pulled him forward, pressing their lips together gingerly. When Lance’s eyes shut, he added more pressure, coaxing a slight moan from the taller teen.

He parted from the other’s lips slowly, smiling when he felt Lance trying to follow. Triumphantly, he leveled a cocky smirk at the other. “What were you saying about guys with mullets?”

Lance groaned. “Shut up and kiss me again!”

The sensation was indescribable. The best he could compare it to, at the risk of sounding cliché, would be a chemical reaction, like fire and ice colliding. The resulting steam consumed everything around it, and the two were so lost in the moment that they almost missed Shiro’s phone call.

Keith broke the kiss reluctantly to answer, trying to ignore Lance’s whine. He put the call on speaker so that the other could hear. “What?!”

“By your annoyed tone, I assume you’ve found him,” Shiro mused, the snickers of Pidge and Hunk filling the background.

“Did you call to get a rise out of me?” Keith grumbled.

“No, I just wanted to make sure that you were both okay.”

“Don’t worry, Space Dad, we’re fine,” Lance chimed.

“Great. It’s good to hear your voice, Lance. When you two get back, Terrible Movie Night™ can commence. Apparently, there’s one that I missed called ‘Sharknado?’”

Keith’s sour attitude was dismissed by Lance’s giddy fist pump. He was honestly too adorable for this universe.

“Do we have a curfew to adhere to?” Keith asked before Lance could speak.

Pidge wolf-whistled in the background as a bit of interference crossed the line. Hunk’s voice suddenly boomed at them, “TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED!”

“Just don’t defile your lions!” Allura called teasingly.

The called ended just like that, leaving the two paladins blushing like ripe tomatoes. Lance was the first to recover, clearing his throat. Keith managed to regain his composure after that, pocketing his phone.

“So…”

“Race you to Red!”

“Lance!”

[misskieshakate]

Langst Fic Idea Part 2!

Wow the first one went beyond 500 notes?? Like really?? For a fandom that swears their love and appreciation for Lance, we sure love to hurt him a lot.  As a thank you this is part 2 :))) 

 *I’m not really sure how langsty this is but here you go.*

 - The moment they noticed that Lance wasn’t with them, Pidge ran to the nearest control pad. 

 - When Lance flew away that night, Pidge placed tracking devices on each of the fighter jets in the hangar just in case. 

 - They crowd against Pidge, watching her as she tapped the screen multiple times. “I placed a device in all of the jets. I’m sure I can override the system with that so give me a sec…" 

 -“Fuck! Lance rewrote my program?” Because of that she was only able to track the ship and access the camera. And so they watched their battered and bruised friend place the ship in autopilot and try to give first aid to himself. - “Where is he going?” “He’s going back to Haggar.” Shiro said through gritted teeth, “ I heard him strike a deal before I passed out." 

 - "He was captured by the Galra and coming back to them? Screw that, i’m bringing him back!” “No Hunk. We just got Shiro back. We can’t lose another Paladin. We know where he is and he’s leading us to the Galra, this is our chance to blindside them for once.” - Hunk and Pidge argued hard with the princess but her logic was one where the universe has a chance in winning against the enemy. 

 - So they followed Lance’s ship and watched the Blue paladin writhe in pain. Hunk and Pidge stayed up every night watching diligently over Lance and often hear him sobbing himself to sleep. They thought it was because of his injuries but they didn’t know the extent of Lance’s pain. 

 - Because Lance was gone for a long time, Blue was left uncleaned ever since the day Shiro went missing. Hunk and Pidge made it their mission to scrub Blue clean for Lance, so they went to the hangar to give Blue a thorough washing. 

 - Once they were done, Blue’s shield went up and effectively trapping them inside. They pounded against the force field, even begged Blue to let them go but it was useless, the shield was not going away. 

 - Hunk called out to Yellow but she just sat there watching them. Pidge did the same with Green but the robo cat bowed its head when Blue let out a mechanical growl. 

 - “Guys, uhm… Blue wants you to come to the hangar asap. As soon as possible please, she’s kinda scary." 

 - When everyone was trapped inside Blue’s force field, Black pounced at Blue but Red immediately tackled Black to the ground, growling at their leader. Black stayed still a while after Green and Yellow pinned it down. 

 - they watched In amazement as the Lions did nothing to save them, even Allura was dumbfounded when she can’t control the lions. - Blue’s mouth opened beckoning them to enter. 

 - Once they were settled in Blue’s cockpit, Pidge’s initial action was to disable Blue’s forcefield. She sat on the pilot’s seat and was shocked with a bolt of electricity. The message was clear, no one sits on the pilot’s seat except her pilot. 

 - ‘All of you hurt my gentle Paladin. He did not deserve the way you treated him but he still loved all of you. You will stay and you will listen to me or suffer my wrath.’ The message was loud and clear… Blue was pissed. 

 - The temperature in the cockpit dropped a few degrees, fogging up their breaths as they breathed in and out the chilly air. 

 "Hey Blue! I hope you don’t mind if I hang out with you for a while. The guys are doing their thing and I guess they don’t need me for today.”

“I know it’s kinda late, Blue, but i just had a dream about one of my siblings and they were smiling at me…”

“Mind if I accompany you today, pretty thing? Haha was that a good pick up line? No it wasn’t huh… uhm, shiro and keith came out as a couple today. I don’t know how i feel about it, but it kinda hurts ya know. I get it, they’re perfect for each other, inevitable… haha what am i saying? As if i had a chance in the first place.”

 "Blue, why did you pick me? I’m… sub par, mediocre, average. I mean, I know i’m amazing and- ok ok i’m not using my ‘mask’ when I’m with you. Geez, you’re scary when you’re mad.”

 "Hey Blue, do you think i’m a part if this team? Because I know i’m not the best fighter but i try though. I love my friends so much that i’ll jump in front of a blaster for them… but will they do the same for me? Who am i kidding of course they do!“ 

"Pidge called me stupid today… i know it’s kinda true but it still hurt.”

 "Hunk and Pidge are doing this amazing thingy and i tried to help but they locked the door. They said that I talk too much… do i? Oh my god do I annoy you too? I’m sorry Blue, i’ll try to talk less.“

 ” ugh Keith is so… argsh! I know i suck in hand to hand but he didn’t need to call me useless!“ 

 ” you know that feeling when your leader doesn’t spare you a time of the day? Not listening to you and picking his boyfriend instead? I mean, i know that wasn’t his only reason but agh why am i crying?!“

 ” the princess made me feel like a loser today… hah why do i even try.“ 

 ” hey blue- i know i know i should go to the healing pod. But all of them are there and i don’t need an annotated list of the things i did wrong. Hehe it’s funny because that’s exactly what my mom would’ve done, well she’d show concern first though. 'Mijo you look like a beaten potato. Who did this to you? Do i need to call a parent? You should have punched harder. Kick 'em in the nuts! At least give a few bites… fight dirty mijo!’ Haha god i miss her. Agh do you mind if i cry again? It’s just that… it’s probably someone’s birthday right now or someone’s wedding. I wanna go home Blue. I wanna feel loved again.“

 "We… we lost Shiro, Blue. I-i tried to save him too but I can only retrieve Black. I heard Keith scream, heard his heart break. I came here because he lunged at me a while ago, practically blamed me for it. He said that he heard me giving up in the mind link, that i didn’t do my job in clearing an exit for the team. Why did he think that? Why? I love Shiro just as much as he does, why did he think that I’ll let anything bad happen to him or the team? I get it that i laugh at everything but i do take my job seriously- if i have a job in the first place-  but it’s done, Shiro’s been captured and I’m to blame. Hah i’m sorry your pilot is such a failure, Blue.”

“I tried to help the team today. I made some jokes and they laughed for the first time after Shiro. I guess that’s my role now cause I’m not even that good in shooting people…”

 ” oh my god Blue i think Keith likes me! What the fuck! Am i supposed to feel this happy? Oh god, is it cheating? Shit, i don’t want Keith to be cheating on Shiro! Oh god… is it bad that i’m happy? What am i suppose to feel?“ 

“God Blue… is this what being in love feels like? Like floating in a cloud of happiness and rainbows.”

“Keith’s avoiding me lately. I think it’s because I annoyed him again. I guess I’ll try shutting up for him.”

 "Keith broke up with me today. I expected this you know… who would even pick me when you have shiro? Hah turns out he was only using me cause he missed Shiro. It fuckin hurt Blue, i feel like my stomach is always hollow and my chest is too small for my heart.. i can’t. I was always waiting for the day when he’ll eventually call it quits but I didn’t know I’ll fall in love, that i’ll fall this deep. It’s my fault anyway, i should’ve known that it’ll always be Shiro, it’ll never be me. That’s why i made up my mind. i’m going to make this right." 

 "Hey Blue. I’m going to bring Shiro back and i’m here to say goodbye. i wish you’ll find a better pilot, a better fighter worthy of you. c’mon now girl don’t be like that. you and i know that the team deserves more that what i have to offer and they need more if they’re going to save the entire universe. i’m doing the team a favor, Blue. i’m doing you a favor. This team is like my family now, and I’ll do my best to protwct it. If that meant Shiro, then I ‘ll do my hardest to bring him back. And you’re like my mom too, if the pilot destined for you is out there then you better find them, not stick with some loser like me. If that ever happens, I want you to remember me ok? I love you, Blue. Catch you later.”

- All of them were dumbfounded by the series of videos that Blue played. Guilt was written all over their faces. Hunk was comforting a crying Pidge, Keith’s head was down unable to look at anyone, Shiro clutched at his prosthetic arm, and Allura’s knees went weak. It was Coran who braved Blue’s presence and asked her what their next move should be.

- ‘Instead of giving all of your resources to bring him back, you decide to merely follow him? He is hurt and all you do is watch him suffer. Do you hate him that much? When the Black paladin was captured, you targeted my gentle paladin, saying that he gave up. You endured sleepless nights looking for the Black paladin, searching far and wide with the hopes of bringing him back. And now my paladin is right there, not that far away, almost within your grasps and you do nothing! You ask me what you should do? Bring my paladin back to me.’

- While they were trapped inside Blue, Lance’s ship slowed to a stop. Then, the Galra ship’s invisibility barrier ebbed away and allowed Lance’s ship entrance.

- Lance was escorted to his usual cell, and his usual torturer sat comfortably in the middle of the room.

- “Back so soon, little Blue?” “Can we cut the pleasantries, Lotor. If you haven’t noticed, I’m kinda tired.” “And here I was waiting for you patiently just to show you something. C’mere, sit on my lap like a good boy.” The guard shoved Lance hard, applying pressure on his bad leg that he practically fell on Lotor’s lap. 

- Lotor flicked his hand and a giant screen lit up. “Did you know that the whole time you were coming back to me, your castle ship was close by? Heh, they didn’t even went out to chase you or bring you back. No, they just watched you go. I’m guessing they have some sort of device in your ship that can track you. Now, depending on what we gathered from you, my little Blue, is that you have someone in your ship who is capable of technological wonders. So why didn’t she hack into your ship? Wanna know what I think?” “Do i have a choice?”

“I think they planned on following you hoping that you’ll lead them to us. You see, they didn’t care if you got captured again as long as you lead them to the enemy. Face it, little Blue, you’re the sacrificial pawn, the loose bolt of a complete machine. You hold no significance to them.” “That’s not true!” “Or maybe, they were so fed up with your nonesense that they made sure that you are delivered properly to the slaughter.”

“You don’t believe me? Why don’t we ask them, little Blue. Maybe they’ll even watch as I carve into that beautiful bronze skin of yours.

- Lance didn’t know what to expect, will they be worried? Will they promise to het him back? Lance was so full of hope and longing for his team, that small minutes that he had with them when he came back to return Shiro was far from enough. 

- The screen connected to the catle ship’s system only to see the interior of the place. No paladins, no Allura, no Coran. 

- Lotor laughed maniacally as Lance’s tears flowed down his cheeks. Amidst Lotor’s full bellied laugh, Lance’s thoughts whispered in his mind: “Maybe what Lotor said was true.” 

-”Oh my little Blue, dont you see? They don’t care about you. They don’t need you. You’re useless and they would rather lose a limb than to endure another second of your presence. Why do you fight for ungrateful people when you can give in, give in to me. With me, you will never be hurt again. With me, you will never question your worth. With me, you are needed. So what do you say, my little Blue?”

- Lance knew the consequences of his next words. He knew that Lotor will hurt him with pain beyond his imagination. Still he turned to Lotor and said “Fuck you.”

I wanted to hurt the team too mehehe… 

Oh I also made a Part 3 if you’re interested :D

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

CSUAVS prt 16 start

Throwing another branch of the Fire he'd built, Keith sighed softly to himself. He'd gotten them both out the ridiculous magnetic waves with the help of Zak's program, only for Lance to wake up screaming. His crush so out of it, he'd nearly ended up crashing the stupid pod as Lance tried to take control. He'd intended to take Lance away from everyone. To let him recover, despite the fact they were supposed to rendezvous with the Telula. Instead he had to fight Lance off while calling Daehra to ask what he could use to safely sedate Lance before Lance got them both killed. Kosmo hadn't helped at all, yipping and barking like it was all a game, the sound seemed to only make things worse for Lance and needless to say, the wolf had grounded in the pod while Keith sat under the starry sky with Lance sleeping by his side. Daehra hadn't liked him leaping to drugs as an option, but with the way Lance was yelling and ranting, she'd finally relented. How did he fix this? Any of this? His best fucking friend had been sexually abused, and he'd been off delivering aide when he should have been there for Lance through it all. There was nothing he could say that would make it better. Lance didn't hate him. It wasn't that he'd done anything "wrong" towards him. The idiot had kept all his pain to himself and now he'd hit his breaking point. He hated all of it. He hated it so much he'd broken down and sobbed for the Lance's loss of innocence. His still felt puffy, his head sore, from the chronic onslaught of emotions that swirled around his mind. Lance was the kindest, more pure hearted, and loving person he knew. His team clearly loved him. They all appreciated him in a way Voltron should have. And now, thanks to him, the wounds stitched closed after phoebs of work, had been torn open. The bottled infection that had been brewing now spreading back through Lance's body, stealing the light from his eyes as its poison spread. Sniffling pathetically, he wanted to throw everything away. He wanted to take Lance by the hand and run forever from the memories that hurt him. But Lance wouldn't run away with him. He probably didn't even wish for Keith to know. He already didn't want him to stay... and losing Lance... it left him feeling like the same scared boy staring down at his father's grave. He wanted Lance to be his family. His home. He was already his strength and support. He kept him anchored despite everything. How could he begin to be that for Lance? "Keith?" Keith's breath caught as a soft hand reached for his leg. Blinking up at him, Lance's eyes were filled with tears. The flames of the fire dancing on his long lashes as he blinked again. With timid moves, his friend drew himself up curl in on himself. His hand holding onto the fabric on Keith's pants loosely. For anyone else, the gesture would be easily dismissed, but all Keith could think about in that moment was the courage it must take for Lance to reach for him "I'm here" "I..." Sniffling hard, Lance's bottom lip quivered as looked away. Tremors shook Lance's shoulders as the first small sob escaped his lips. Dressed in clothes he'd found in the pod, Lance looked fragile as his collarbone peaked out from beneath the loose fabric. Without thinking, Keith gathered Lance into his lap, arms wrapped firmly around him as he held him close, Lance wailing against him "I fucked up!" "It's not your fault" "Ugh! I... don't know what to do..." "Shhhh. You don't have to know anything" "Ugh... ugh... I... don't want to... be... like this..." "I know. I know, buddy. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. It's just you and me" "I'm so stupid. Stupid. Stupid!" Lance's hand went to his hair as he yelled the last stupid. Catching it before he could pull out any more of those soft chocolate locks, Keith brought his hand down to hold it between them "You are not stupid" "I am! I..." "You are not stupid" Hiccuping, Lance started to hyperventilate "I... I... can't..." Rubbing Lance's back, his friend didn't flinch like he'd expected "Shhh. You don't have to explain. You don't have to force yourself to relive it..." "I... thought... when... I killed him... it would get better... I... can feel... him..." Of course it wouldn't get better for Lance. His noble heart would have driven him crazy over his own actions "Lance, I need you to try and breathe for me" "I... c-can't..." "I can see that. Here... put your hand on my chest... feel that... feel me breathing. I need you to breathe with me. Ok?" "C-can't..." "You can. I know you can. Here... here, come on..." Rearranging the long tangle on limbs, Keith moved Lance so he was sitting in his lap facing him. Placing both of Lance's hands on his chest, he took the Cuban's face in his hands, forcing Lance to meet his eyes "Here... breathe in with me... and out with me..." He knew there were all kinds of things people did to help with panic attacks, but the breathing one was the one that stuck with him. It was what Shiro had used a hundred and one times, and it didn't force Lance to concentrate on the things around them. The last thing he needed was Lance pushing himself too far or thinking he was stupid because he couldn't name everything he smelt... which, if he said anything other than seasalt, rotten citrus and maybe just the hint of juniper flowers, would have been a wasted answer anyway. All Keith could see was Lance. All he could focus on was Lance. Bringing Lance's breathing under control, the younger male collapsed into his hold. His forehead pressed against Keith's chest between his palms "I'm... sorry" "No. Hey. You did nothing wrong" "I did everything fucking wrong" "You weren't supposed to know" "I don't think any less of you" Those were the wrong words. Climbing off his lap, Lance balled himself up on the blankets Keith had brought for the ship for him to lay on. He'd changed Lance out of his suit after he'd woken up agitated, thinking maybe the suit was what what had made things worse for him. The warmth and weight of Lance was missed the moment he was off, but it'd be selfish to pull him back against him purely because he needed the reassurance that Lance was still alive "Are you hungry? I have some food here?" "I don't want to eat... sorry" "Maybe some water" "Keith, stop. Ok. Just stop" "Stop what?" He'd stop whatever Lance wanted him to stop... if he knew what that was "You. Being so nice. It's not... you" That... stung. That stung far more than it should have with what Lance was going through "Lance..." "Stop being nice! Stop! Just stop! I can't take it!" Yelling into his knees, Lance let out a soft whimper as he wrapped his arms tighter around his legs "You did nothing wrong. Those people who... hurt you..." "God. You can't even say it. They raped me. They held me down... gagged me... and fucked me until I came... I was so scared... but I... fucking came... ugh... ugh..." Lance's breathing hitched, his friend breaking his self hold to throw up near his feet. Reaching out to comfort him, Lance slapped his hand away. His eyes filled with self loathing and guilt as he looked to him. His words a soft mumble, as more tears rushed down his cheeks "I came... I don't understand... I didn't want to... I didn't... it hurt so bad... but I did... what's wrong with me?" Softly he reached for Lance again, his voice barely above a broken whisper as tears rolled down his own face "Lance... there is nothing wrong with you" "You weren't there!" Flinching, Keith's hand dropped "I know" "They wanted Red. That's what it was all about... he wanted a p-pet Paladin..." The lions had gone. To where no one knew... it struck Keith at that moment that it could have been any one of them. Watching Lance like this, he cursed the universe for not letting him be the one who'd been there instead "They pinned me down... gagged me... I screamed and I screamed but the didn't stop. He didn't stop... he didn't..." "Lance. What they did to you..." "I deserved it..." Anger flared through every part of Keith at those three small words "No! No. No... Lance. You didn't deserve it. No one deserves that" "I did... I do... I deserve it all" Fuck it. Lance needed something more than words. Shuffling closer, he ignored Lance's whimper as he pulled him back into a firm hug, both arms wrapped around Lance's shoulders as he shook his head "You did not deserve it. God. If I could take this pain from you, I would in an instant. You're my best friend. You're my best friend I had no idea. I..." His dangerously close confession was cut off "Don't..." "Lance" "Keith... don't... not you too" That took a right turn... "Not me too, what?" "My... body... Allura changed it... something in my scent... attracts Galra. They kept telling me I smelt good... she brought me back wrong... and now I'm... wrong. I should have... died..." "No, Lance. No. I've cared about you for years now. You were my first friend apart from Shiro. You made living on the castle bearable. You. God. You deserve sunshine and daisies. All the fucking good things in this world" Lance sniffled loudly, while somehow managing to snort at the same time "I don't deserve anything" "You do" "I'm dirty" Ignoring what he meant, Keith swayed Lance gently "We both are" "I killed people" "I have too" "You... do it because it's your job... I... did because I wanted to... and it felt good..." A moment too long passed as Keith tried to articulate what he wanted to say "See. I'm just a sad loser from Cuba. I wrecked my family. Got raped. Got tortured. I'm addicted to drugs. I have fucking panic attacks and nightmares for no reason! I kill people and now I find those people... aren't even dead... I couldn't stop Allura from sacrificing herself. I couldn't stop Klearo from raping me. I couldn't get away... I could never do anything right! I wasn't a good Paladin. I was never as good as you. I wasn't smart and cool like Shiro. I can't cook like Hunk, or fix things like Pidge. Allura only dated me because Lotor was a dick... I couldn't even kill myself" "Lance, none of that is true" "I hate that name. I hate Lance" "Why? Why would you say that?" "Because he... can't ever be good enough... I just want it all to stop" Lance was more than good enough. He'd always been more than he thought he was "We'll get through this" "I don't think I can. I don't even know if I want to anymore. I'm so tired, Keith. I'm so tired of being alive. I can't function anymore. I didn't even want a fucking team... but I was lonely... it's all a fucking joke. You weren't supposed to know" "Knowing changes nothing about the way I feel about you" "I don't need your pity" "It's not pity. You're still you. You're just a slightly bad arse bounty hunter you" "I got Kre'el killed... she's... gone because of me and I didn't even know!" "Shhh..." "I... don't know what to do" "I don't either, but you're not alone. I'm going to be right beside you" "You can't... you have your own life" "I'm making this choice for me" "I don't want you throwing your life away" "I'm not" "You are!" "I'm not throwing my life away. I don't have much of a life without you. Nothing was the same with you on Earth. I thought... I was ok with you staying there if it meant you were truly happy" Emotionally exhausted, the resignation in Lance's voice was breaking his already broken heart in a whole other way "Happy? I can't remember the last time I was happy. My family were scared of me... no one knew what to do. I killed my girlfriend and came back... but I didn't fit there anymore. I planted fields of junipers and she never came back, Keith... she never loved me at all. She was... attracted to the bit of her soul in me... she never loved me for me" "Lance, she cared. We all saw it" "Loving someone is different from being in love... now I'm here. And she's gone..." "I know she is" "Rachel said I was a lady killer... she was right..." "No, Lance. Allura made her choice. None of this is your fault. None of it" When Lance didn't reply, Keith waited a few ticks before brushing the hair back from his face. Having cried himself to sleep, Keith wished he could do the same. Having built for so long, when the first wave of emotion came crashing through Lance, he'd lost all control. Everything had poured out in one horrific story. How Lance got out of bed in the morning, he didn't know. Keith felt crushed from the weight of Lance's confession, and he'd literally just heard it all. Giving Lance a few more moments to fall into a deeper sleep, Keith then went about removing the blanket covered in watery sick. With no food in his belly, it'd been more spit and bile than proper vomit. Laying Lance down, he wanted to respect Lance's wishes, but he simply couldn't let him go. Spooning up behind him, Lance fitted perfectly into his hold. How could anyone hurt such a beautiful creature? How could they ignore his cries? His screams? How Keith wished they were alive so he could take his time very slowly killing them.