#time moves differently even on other planets in our solar system. time moves differently for other species on our own planet

[swagging-back-to]

i was just about to show what i think altean markings look like (full body) when i realized that lance is borderline skeletal?

both of them are. their legs should not be that small. where is thick thigh lance.

[five-rivers]

Welcome Back Home

Phic Phight Fic for Avi!

Danny may have been a superhero.  He may have been annoying.  He may even have been ‘practically an adult.’  He was still Jazz’s little brother.  The one who had once begged her for play time and increasingly baffling milkshake combinations.  The one who helped her fight reanimated turkeys every Christmas.  The one who painstakingly researched what books to give her for her birthday.

So, it wasn't so much a choice to throw herself between him and her parents’ newest and most worrying weapon as it was a reflex.  If any thought crossed her mind while she dashed across the parking lot and into the path of the beam, it was either this is going to hurt or I hope I'm fast enough.

Well, it didn't hurt. It did drop her in the Ghost Zone. Immediately, She whirled, trying to find the portal.

Way back, when she and Danny had come clean about their respective secrets, Danny had sat her down for what he called his ‘Ghost Zone Survival Guide.’

“Okay,” he'd said, spinning in his spinny chair, “Ghost Zone survival, part one.  Don't go there.”

Tucker had snorted.  Jazz, who had taken out a fresh notebook and her special note-taking gel pens, glared at him.  

“I'm serious,” Danny had defended himself.  “The Zone isn't a good place for humans.”

“Why?”

“Do you want some reason other than it operating under different laws of physics and being full of super-powered people who don't care if they kill you by mistake?  The radiation, maybe?”

“Never mind.  Go ahead.”

“That's what I thought.  Anyway, if you wind up going through an unstable or temporary portal, the first thing you need to do is go back through that portal.  Like, forget about anything else that's going on.  Fights, escapes, your car, other people, get yourself back through.”

“That seems a bit callous,” Jazz had said.  

“Well, maybe.  But the Ghost Zone is huge, and natural portals and temporary portals aren't just unstable in space, they're unstable in time.”

“They could spit you out in my first life, the middle ages, a thousand years in the future, you name it,” Tucker had helpfully added.  

“First life?”

“Don't worry about it,” Danny had said.  

“Pharaonic Egypt,” Tucker had answered.  

“The point is,” Danny had continued loudly, “you don't want to take a chance with portals unless you know they're stable or have the Infi-Map.”

“Or time grandpa has your back.”

“Stop calling him that.”

“Who is–”

“It doesn't matter.  He doesn't have your back.  He doesn't have anyone's back.”

Tucker had made a noise of negation.  “He has your back.”

Danny had responded by beaning his friend with a pillow.  

Somehow, despite being genuinely informative, Jazz had come away from the ‘lesson’ With more questions than answers.  None of which were pertinent to her present situation.  

She turned on the spot again, surveying her surroundings in more detail.  It didn't help.  No matter which direction she turned in, there was no portal.  

So.  Step one: failed.  

Onto step two.  

“What if I can't get back through the portal though?” Jazz had asked.  

“Well, if you aren't being actively attacked–”

“You should definitely take care of that first if you are.”

“If you aren't under attack, see if you can spot any landmarks.  If you can see one, you'll at least have a general idea of where you are.  Mostly.”

“We're making a map,” Tucker had said, “but it sucks.”

“That's not a comment on our self-confidence or whatever,” Danny had said before Jazz could interject.  “Stuff moves in the Ghost Zone.  It's kind of like trying to make a map of the solar system.  If you're sitting on Jupiter, you know where the sun is, and you've got a pretty good idea about the inner planets, but unless you have a model you can put the time into, you're not going to have any idea where Pluto is.”

“And you wouldn't know the right time, either,” Jazz had said, contemplatively.  

“Exactly.  But landmarks are still good.  They'll give you your general area, at least.  And maybe what else is around, too.”  He'd given her a photo album full of Ghost Zone landmarks, then, and they'd spent the next half hour going through them.

Jazz was on a floating island.  It was medium-sized, perhaps a dozen or so acres square on this side, full of softly rolling hills covered with purple grass and pale green flowers.  As far as Jazz could tell, there wasn't anything else on it, although that didn't mean there wasn't.  It didn’t look like any place she'd seen or heard of.  

Offshore, the Zone was a moderately-familiar green-on-green.  Foggy ectoplasm and the lack of anything like a horizon made it difficult to judge distances.  

There were a few other islands Jazz could see.  Something like a mountain range, a floating sphere, and, just on the edge of her vision, a slightly more regular conglomeration of shapes that could have been a town.  

Bingo.  

“If you don't recognize anything, do your best to head towards civilization.”

Jazz had raised an eyebrow at that.  “Despite the super-powered people who don't care if I die?”

“She’s got you there, Danny my man.”

“Ugh, why couldn't Sam have been here?”

“Gasp, don't tell me you forgot the mega-ultra-turbo grounding already?  How could you?”

Danny had thrown another pillow at Tucker.  “You're so unhelpful.  Anyway, people are dangerous, but they're also the only place you're going to get directions.”

“And if I see something, how do I get there?  Considering everything is a flying island.”

“That’s a bit tricky.”

Jazz bounced on her the balls of her feet, staring down the green void between herself and her destination.  She’d never done this before, and despite Danny and Tucker’s attempts at an explanation, or even Sam’s later on…  Well, she felt like she should’ve convinced them to bring her to the Ghost Zone to practice.  

There was nothing she could do but try.  She closed her eyes and jumped into the air, believing she could fly with all her might.  Her feet hit the ground again.  Damn.  

One, two, three, she tried again, and again, and again, and then, finally, when she got mad, when she got frustrated, her feet left the ground and stayed off the ground.  She was flying, like only a human in the Ghost Zone could fly.  

She opened her eyes and looked over to the distant probably-town.  It was just as distant as before.  And now she was exhausted from jumping.  Both the jumping right now, and the jumping into the line of fire she’d done earlier.  

Well, no time like the present to get going.  She took off.  

The little details of Danny’s advice hadn’t stuck with her - he’d really waxed poetic - but she was still able to move forward.  She also spent a lot of time moving down whenever her concentration slipped.  Of course, she knew it wasn’t really down, thanks to those same conversations with Danny.  It was just the direction she perceived as down, or something like that.  

Danny liked flying like this.  Danny liked every method of flying to ever exist.  Jazz, personally, hated it.  A lot.  Every minute that passed, every time she slipped, she was terrified that she would go plunging into the murky depths of the Zone, never to be seen again.  

Danny hadn’t been wrong about the Ghost Zone not being good for humans.  

Thank goodness the town really was a town.  She wasn’t sure what she would have done if it wasn’t.  

“If I do get to civilization–”

“--or what passes for it–” Tucker had said.  

“--what do I do then?  Be polite, I assume, but what’s polite for ghosts?  What are the cultural touchstones?  The social norms?”

“Dunno,” Danny had said.  “It’s not like ghosts are just one big group that’s all the same.  But if you get to a group of ghosts, like, I don’t know a village or something, they’ll all probably be fairly tolerant.  To live together without fighting, you know?  Normal politeness will be fine.  Probably.  Assuming they can speak English.”

She managed a landing at the edge of the town.  She hit too hard, and her knees buckled.  A few ghosts stopped what they were doing - she didn’t know what, couldn’t spare the attention while flying - to stare at her.  With an effort she smiled at them.  Closed lips.  Many cultures considered smiles with teeth to be aggressive or rude.  

“Hi,” she said.  “I was wondering if you could help me.”

“Kio?  Kio ŝi diris?”

“Mi ne scias, mi ne parolas la francan.”

Ah.  She should’ve taken up Tucker’s offer to teach her some basic Esperanto.  Danny was never going to let her live this down.  

“Okay, so, what do I do if they don’t speak English?” she’d asked.  

“Get good at charades?  You probably won’t be able to get good directions without speaking the language - I have no idea how you’d do the portal in charades - but you can trade stuff.  Bargain, barter, whatever you want to call it.”

“For food?  Supplies?”

“Eh, not food, actually.  Ghost Zone food is mostly ectoplasm.  Not good for humans.”

“Then what?  Well, you’ll think it’s crazy, but…”

Somehow or another, she got the idea of marketplace and trade across to the ghosts.  Apparently the Esperanto word was related to the English.  Cousins.  Brothers.  Whatever, it didn’t matter.  

What did matter was what she was going to trade to the ghosts.  All she had was her purse, and for a teenage girl, she traveled light.  She had her wallet, parking change, a small handful of coupons, number two pencils, a pencil sharpener, a pen, various hygiene products, lipstick, laser, lipstick laser, sunscreen, the universal pocket psychology guide, granola bars, a screwdriver, a couple of bolts from the Peeler - if only she kept that in her purse - spiked bracelet from Spike, phone, and, okay, she didn’t pack that light.  There should be something in all this that the ghosts here would probably like.

The ghosts who had seen her less-than-stellar landing ushered her to a colorful, cloth-covered stall, the contents of which looked like the detritus of a million flea markets.  The ghost… manning it?  Ghosting it?  Haunting it?  What was the terminology in this case?  Whatever.  The ghost at the stall was pale green and nondescript except for the swathes of polka-dotted cloth wrapped around their body.  

They stared at her with wide eyes.  “Ĉu tio estas homo?  Viva homo?”

She smiled, forcefully.  That didn’t sound like a hello, but she’d take it.  “Hello,” she said.  “Do you have any boxes?”  She made the shape of a box with her hands.  

“The Box Ghost?  You’re saying that if I can’t get directions, my next step is to try to summon the Box Ghost?”

“Hey, believe it or not I’ve got an agreement with a lot of the regulars.  If they bring back lost humans, they get, um.  A nonlethal free day.  In Amity Park.  I can get you a list.  And even if you end up in a weird time, like, before I made the deal or something, the Box Ghost is pretty easy.  Worst case scenario, you can even let Walker catch you.  He always sends humans back.”

Jazz sat on the edge of the town, a cardboard box in hand, purse lighter by a novelty pencil sharpener and the spare screws and bolts.  “Oh, great and powerful and completely terrifying Box Ghost,” she said, feeling ridiculous.  “I have an offering for your awful, terribleness.  It’s cubical and cardboard-ical.  Cardboard.  Whatever.”  She sighed.  “This isn’t going to work, is it?”

“DID SOMEONE CALL UPON THE FRIGHTENING AND FRIGHTFUL BOX GHOST, MASTER OF RECTANGULAR CARDBOARD PACKAGES?”

Jazz shrieked and almost fell off the island.  

The Box Ghost blinked down at her.  “Beware?” he said.

“Hi,” said Jazz.  “A gift?”  She held up the box.  

“THE CARDBOARD IS MINE!”  He leaped on the box and held it to his chest like a baby.  “What do you want from the HORRIFYING BOX GHOST?”

“So, uh, I know you have a deal with my brother?”

“WHOMST?”

“My brother,” repeated Jazz.  “Danny.  Phantom?”

The Box Ghost stared at her blankly.  

“To get humans back to Amity Park?”

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT KNOW THE REALM OF WHICH YOU SPEAK?”

That wasn’t good.  The opposite, really.  If the Box Ghost didn’t recognize Danny’s name…

“What if I am in the past?” Jazz had asked.

“Get back to Earth anyway, and survive.  Find a way to get a message to the present.  Between the Infi-Map and, um, other contacts I have–”

“Time grandpa,” Tucker interjected.  

“I should be able to go get you if I know where and when you are.  But I need to know when and where you are.”

Then, Jazz had asked why he couldn't just pick her up at the exact moment she'd arrived, if he was going to time travel anyway, and that had spurred a migrane-inducing argument about paradoxes.  Jazz had gotten the impression that the real reason was more along the lines of ‘Danny isn’t allowed to have any more paradoxes’ than ‘the universe won't let paradoxes exist.’

Jazz smiled thinly.  “Can you get me to Earth?” she asked.  “Please?  It’ll be worth your while.”

“Worth the while of the GREAT BOX GHOST?”

“Yep.  It might take a while, but you’ll get more of those.”  She nodded towards the box in the ghost’s arms.  “Consider it an investment in future, um, fear.”

“FEAR?”

“Yes.  As in, um, fear me?”

“No, you shall FEAR ME!”

“Exactly,” said Jazz.  “Just like that.  Can you do it?  Or… is it beyond the powers of even the Box Ghost?”

“NOTHING IS BEYOND THE BOX GHOST!  I AM EXTREME IN EVERY WAY!  THE BOX GHOST WILL SHOW THE STRANGE GIRL WITH GIFTS THE WAY TO HIS SECRET PORTAL!”

At least something was going right.  “Thanks,” Jazz said.  “That sounds great.  I really appreciate it.  Where is it?”

“FOLLOW ME!”  The Box Ghost paused.  “AND FEAR ME!”

He flew off, and Jazz struggled to keep up.  Luckily, the Box Ghost was courteous enough to stop for her every once in a while.  The flight seemed to go on forever, but, eventually, they came to a stop in front of a twisting, spluttering portal.  

“Does this really lead to the Earth?” Jazz asked.  

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT LIE!”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to imply that.  It’s just… is it always so sparky?”

“IT IS UNSTABLE!  ONLY THE BOX GHOST IS BRAVE ENOUGH TO USE IT!”

Which meant that it could spit her out anywhere, at any time.  But at least she’d be on Earth, AKA somewhere she could eat the food and drink the water.  

“It doesn’t come out above an ocean, does it?”

“THERE ARE NO BOXES IN THE OCEAN.  THE BOX GHOST HAS NO USE FOR IT.”

“What about crab pots?” asked Jazz.

“THE BOX GHOST DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH THE COUNCILS OF CRABS.”

Jazz… wasn’t going to examine that too closely.  She braced herself and flew into the portal.  The transition this time wasn’t the smooth, blink-and-you’re-in-another-dimension it had been with her parents’ weapon.  It had turbulence, and lots of it.  It was like being in a washing machine.  Or a blender.  A really fast blender.  One that pulsed and shook and sang a song while it was at it.  

It spit her out ten feet above ground.  It wouldn’t have been a problem for a ghost, but for a human…  Well, at least she didn’t break any bones.  Instead, she laid, winded, on the ground.  Tall grass framed her vision on all sides.  The sun was hot overhead.  Which was… less than ideal.  It had been Autumn this morning.  However long from now that was.  

Jazz rubbed her temples.  All she had to do was send a message, satisfy Danny’s no-paradox rule, and then she’d be home.  Until then, she would survive.  She refused to saddle Danny with the guilt associated with her disappearing.  

She got up.  Looked around.  There was a dirt road.  She staggered over to it and flipped a coin to decide whether to go left or right.  Left it was.  

She grew steadier as she walked, but the heat was punishing.  She took off her sweater and was tempted to take her shirt off, too.  She was wearing a sports bra underneath.  It wasn’t like it’d be indecent.  

Unless she’d been dropped into the eighteen hundreds.  Best not to risk it.  

The dirt road became gravel, became poorly-paved asphalt, merged onto another, bigger road… A road with a recognizable name.  Jazz wasn’t that far away from Amity Park.  She could probably even call… home…

“I’m stupid,” she said out loud.  She pulled out her phone.  No service.  Typical.  She kept walking.  And walking.  And walking.  

And then she saw the smoke.  Right where Amity Park should be.  She ran, then.  

She crested the hill, passed the Welcome to Amity Park sign - something was off about it, but she didn’t stop to try and see what it was.  She hit the top of the next hill and stopped.  

That– That wasn’t Amity Park.  At least, it wasn’t her Amity Park.  The buildings were bigger.  Shinier.  Whiter, even.  The logo for the GIW sat proudly on one of the tallest ones.

And so many of them were smashed.  Burning.  Green blurs swirled and fought with white ones.  She sat down.

“And what if I wind up in the future instead?”

“I don't know, hope the rest of us don't cause the apocalypse before you get back?”

There was one more explosion, and then a high-pitched wail, a ghostly wail, threw all of the shapes back and away.  The white ones didn’t come back.  

Jazz… wasn’t sure what to do.  She watched.  She waited.  

And then a familiar shape appeared out of the air in front of her.  It was Danny, but… not.  He was thinner.  Sharper.  There was silver and ice in his hair, and blood and ectoplasm on his face.  “Hi, Jazz,” he said, smiling sheepishly despite the dark gleam in his eyes.  “Well… it isn’t the apocalypse, so…”  He spread his hands to either side, and the GIW building behind him fell over.  “Welcome home?”

[neddea]

Some days ago I made this post with some concept art, so here’s a little bit more info about my No Man’s Land! (Disclaimer about the details below the cut: I’m just an artist and in no way, shape or form a scientist, even less so an astrophysicist, so the chances of some of this info being wrong or dubious are very high lol)

Just as a little bit of context, Kepler-47 is an actual “solar system” with two host stars. We’ve been able to find three planets so far, and the outermost (47c) lies in the habitable zone. All three of them are gas giants (or rather “puffy giants” since they’re surprisingly not very dense and temperate).

I’m not gonna give too many details about the real 47c, I’ll leave that for the long post I’m working on (if I ever get to actually publish it, let’s be honest), but the only thing to keep in mind is that Nomans would be a moon orbiting this planet. Also, I decided that people would shorten “No Man’s Land” to “Nomans” overtime, which is the name I’m gonna be using. The question is: how do we call the people living there? Nomanians?

So here are the main points of my design!

-I’ve given 47c several other moons because I wanted it to match the canon as much as I could, and I think it might even help the stability of the orbits if they’re in a specific resonance? Idk, maybe an actual astrophysicist could give me some advice on this (please do)

-The interesting bit about trying to make it match the canon is that I had to make Nomans tidally locked to 47c just to have an excuse for why we never see the big planet on the sky. The idea would be that most of the Seeds ships crashed into the outer face of the moon, and since the other side, the one that’s always looking at 47c, has more extreme conditions precisely because of the influence of the host planet on it, not many people have ventured too much into these lands. At least until now…

-Speaking of the other moons, which one would be the best candidate for the Fifth Moon incident? (Spoiler alert for Maximum and ‘98: Knives forces Vash to use his Angel Arm and he ends up firing at the fifth moon, which leaves its surface marked with a big crater) We have two options: It could be one of the outer moons (the ones whose orbit is beyond that of Nomans) since those are the ones more likely to be present in the visible sky; or it could be Moon II, whose regolith would be launched into space from the blast and form the rings…

-The surface gravity is almost identical to ours here on Earth, although slightly lighter (9.66 m/s^2 compared to 9.8 m/s^2).

-Nomans is somewhat bigger than Mars but smaller than Earth.

-One day lasts for almost 27 hours, and one year would take almost 270 Nomanian days (I swear this was a coincidence). Also, a fun fact on which I’m basing the calendar system (still working on that): it takes 6.6 days for the two stars to orbit around each other. People probably noticed this and were like “Sure, that’s the seven days of the week if you ask me”, probably so that they didn’t have to figure out everything from scratch (I’d do the same). It would be fun to see different cities and places to develop their own weird and wonderful systems (not me spending several hours yesterday to understand all the Maya calendars and wondering what they would come up with in this alien planet moon…).

-And speaking about time, here’s a visual explanation on how the times of day work on the side facing 47c! I realized the other day that at noon the light would probably be tinted slightly red (or some other color, depending on the elements found on 47c’s atmosphere), just like it happens on our Moon when there’s a lunar eclipse. Please make as if you didn’t know this and let’s move on. Also, as a Spaniard I have the right to declare noon time in this part of the world the Sacred Siesta Period.

(Also, shout out to @norageonlypancakes because my main inspiration for these BGs is Chesley Bonestell, he was The Space Artist™️ of the 20th century and inspired so many people to become space nerds or even scientists!) (Also x2, thank you everyone for the lovely comments and tags on the previous post <3)

[mysticstronomy]

JUPITER HAS A LARGE MAGNETIC FIELD THAN PREVIOUSLY EXPECTED??

Blog#366

Saturday, January 13th, 2024.

Welcome back,

NASA's Juno spacecraft has mapped the strong magnetic field at Jupiter, revealing a surprising asymmetry between the northern and southern hemispheres that could lend insight into what's going on within the gas giant.

Jupiter hosts the most powerful magnetic field of all the planets in our solar system, cranking out a field close to 20,000 times stronger than Earth's.

Juno has braved that magnetic field during the probe's close approaches to the planet since arriving in July 2016; it skims about 2,500 miles (4,000 kilometers) above the planet every 53 days over the course of elongated orbits.

A new paper, published on (Sept. 5) in the journal Nature, pulls together Juno's measurements to create the most detailed map yet of the Jovian magnetic field at different depths, painting a complex picture.

"We find that Jupiter's magnetic field is different from all other known planetary magnetic fields," the authors, led by Kimberly Moore of Harvard University, wrote in the paper. Like Earth, Jupiter's magnetic field has a primary north and south pole, close to the planet's actual poles as it rotates. But while the gas giant's south pole is relatively orderly, the planet's north pole has one narrow magnetic hotspot amid more chaotic patches of magnetic field, where positive and negative sections don't have concrete counterparts."

"And the planet has another big magnetic "south pole" close to the equator the researchers refer to this equatorial patch as a "great blue spot" in their paper, in contrast to the planet's swirling Great Red Spot storm. (Blue is often used in diagrams to indicate the negative part of a magnetic field.)

According to a News and Views column accompanying the article, Jupiter's magnetic field is likely generated by a swirling mass of hydrogen deep within the planet.

Crushed to incredible pressure, this material becomes a metallic liquid that can conduct electricity and generate a magnetic field when stirred. The heat within the planet, left over from Jupiter's formation early in the solar system's history, creates convection currents that get the liquid moving — not to mention the gases on top, leading to the planet's roiling clouds and storms.

Convection within Earth's iron core also generates our planet's magnetic field, but Earth's field is much more straightforward: mostly positive at one pole, mostly negative at the other, with no particular pattern to the parts that diverge from that.

This strange magnetic field on Jupiter is a hint to what's going on inside the planet. The researchers suggest the Jovian core could be larger and more dilute than previously thought, or the stable layers of fluid within Jupiter could partition off parts of the planet's interior, altering the flow, according to the News and Views story. The state of the planet's field could even — although the paper's researchers suggest this is unlikely — mark the middle of a magnetic field reversal process.

Originally published www.space.com

COMING UP!!

(Wednesday, January 17th, 2024)

"CAN HUMANS SURVIVE ON MARS??"

[chemblrish]

Actually, you know what @onewigglyworm I will tell you all about quantum things - from a spectroscopist's point of view, of course.

Let me introduce you guys to

✨ the quantum numbers ✨

which describe the state of an electron in an atom. This will be long. Ready? Let's go!

I’m not going to begin with how the quantum theory came to be – it’s a genuinely fascinating story and I suppose it would fit in here nicely, but let’s be realistic: with my inability to shut the hell up this post is already going to be way too long as it is. So, let us find ourselves in the year of 1913 when the standard model of the atom was still Rutherford’s model: a dense clump of positive charge in the center and tiny particles of negative charge (electrons) orbiting it – a microscopic analogy of the Solar System with its large star in the middle and the planets orbiting it.

Rutherford wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t pulling things out of his ass (his scattering experiment? A thing of beauty!), but that model simply couldn’t be real. A moving charge creates an electromagnetic wave and therefore radiates energy which means our electron should begin spiraling towards the nucleus, making the atom an unstable system.

If Rutherford’s model was true, we wouldn’t be here to learn about the crazy wonders of our world, so let’s say THANK YOU!! to Niels Bohr who enters our story at the moment and flips Rutherford’s shit upside down.

Bohr made the following suggestion: “Hey, what if the macroscopic electrodynamics and microscopic electrodynamics were two totally different things?” He figured out that the energy of an atom is quantized – meaning it can’t have any possible value you can think of, but rather those values are discreet, they come in lil packets, and the energy of an electron depends on which orbit it occupies = how far from the nucleus it is.

This is where our first quantum number comes onto the stage: the principal quantum number n. The principal quantum number tells us which orbit our electron is on and therefore what energy it has. Let’s take a look at the periodic table and pick some element, any element – potassium, maybe? It’s in the fourth period which means its valence electron (the one that’s the farthest from the nucleus) occupies the fourth orbit which in turn means its principal quantum number equals 4 (n = 4). Easy, isn’t it!

That’s all cool and dandy but doesn’t solve all of our problems. Bohr’s model described the hydrogen atom perfectly, but failed to explain some of the phenomena related to… well. All the other elements (stop booing! Bohr’s model was a huge achievement at the time and it’s still a handy simplification to this day, even if it isn’t exactly correct).

Enter Sommerfeld. Sommerfeld thought, “Well, Bohr’s model isn’t bad, but what if the orbits of the electrons aren’t circular but actually elliptical?” That gave rise to the second quantum number: the azimuthal (or orbital angular momentum) quantum number l. You know those balloon-like models of the orbitals of an atom? I mean those:

[via]

This is where they come from! The shape of an orbital is determined by the quantum number l.

If we have a quantum number, then something should be quantized, right? In this case, that “something” is, predictably, orbital angular momentum (in very simple words: if a moving object has mass, then it has momentum, AKA how much will it hurt if someone throws an orange at you vs a watermelon. If said object is moving in a circle instead of a straight line, it has angular momentum). The quantum number l allows us to determine the angular momentum of an electron.

But Sommerfeld went further than that, because why come up with one quantum number when you can come up with two? He knew of what we call the Zeeman effect in which the emission spectrum of an element looks different in the presence of a magnetic field (more spectral lines appear than there are without a magnetic field) and he concluded that there has to be another quantized parameter – the orientation of the angular momentum. Come to think about it, it’s pretty crazy. Electrons don’t orbit the nucleus of their atom only “in two dimensions”, in a flat manner, like planets around their star; but their orbits aren’t scattered randomly all around the nucleus either – their positions are quantized. We describe those positions with the third quantum number – the magnetic quantum number m.

Obviously, this is a pretty big simplification – perhaps my physicist friends here will scoff at this explanation – but I think it’s good enough for the layperson who doesn’t necessarily want a lecture on vectors, dipoles, and precession.

Okay, so far so good. We have three quantum numbers, great job! We can now describe the state of an electron pretty well and all that’s left for us to do is to prove experimentally that we’re right and that the orientation of angular momentum is in fact quantized, and then we can all go home.

That’s exactly what Stern and Gerlach attempted to do. Again, I’m going to skip the details of the experiment (although I do encourage you to look into it yourself!), but the shortened version is as follows: Stern and Gerlach passed a beam of silver atoms through a non-uniform magnetic field, then observed the results on a screen on the other side. If the quantum theory was wrong and the orientation of angular momentum wasn’t quantized, then the screen should show a smooth projection of all possible orientations. If the quantum theory was right, the screen should show several lines corresponding to the quantized orientations of angular momentum.

So, we switch on the magnetic field, we fire the silver atoms, we take a good look at the screen… and we get two lines. Not a smooth distribution and not a handful of lines either but only two lines. What? Looks like there is some spatial quantization, but “regular” angular momentum isn’t what we’re looking at here.

The mystery was solved a couple of years later by Uhlenbeck and Goudsmit who suggested that, “Guys, what if electrons have some sort of inherent angular momentum that’s separate from their motion around the nucleus? We should call it ‘spin’, let’s call it ‘spin’, can we call it ‘spin’?” And so, we arrive at the fourth and final (wellll… final for this post) quantum number: the spin quantum number s.

If you've made it this far: whoa, congratulations! I had fun writing this, I hope you had fun reading it too.

I tried to make it as understandable to the random non-scientist as possible which naturally called for many simplifications and glossing over some details - I hope the quantum pros here will forgive me.

[hana-bobo-finch]

IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER WONDERFUL ROUND OF RANDOM PIKMIN HEADCANONS OKEY DOKEY

• Hocotate and Koppai are in the same solar system. Koppai is much further away from the sun than Hocotate so it has a colder climate than Hocotate. Creatures on Koppai have thick fur to compensate (and Koppaites have thicker body hair) (this is an excuse for me to draw fluffy things heehee)

• relating to that, one of the reasons Koppaites struggle with agriculture is because of the cold temperatures

• ^ and because the government sucks! I had a long drawn out conversation about this topic before and I will not just regurgitate all my points but the Koppaite government is corrupt!!! Yay!!! The food + poverty crises are used as a way to take advantage of people (not saying the government STARTED them purposely but they sure as hell didn’t try very hard to stop it)

• Most planets have their own native languages but over time and with advances in space travel they got less common. It used to be that only frequent travelers would learn the universal language, but as travel became more accessible more people started learning it and teaching it to their children by default.

• ^ even then a lotta people still have VERY thick accents.

• Koppaites have much worse hearing than most because of their rounded ears. While others have more of a cone shape to their ears, Koppaite’s ears are more flat and don’t pick up sound as well (and they can’t pinpoint where exactly sound comes from. You ever see how a cat twitches their ears aroun when they hear the slightest sound, that’s how most species are. Meanwhile Koppaites have the Bad Inferior Round Ear Gene)

• Ohrians have very specific pheromones they give off. YES this is because of the stupid comic I made where yonny “smells gay” it’s not MY fault everyone loves it for goodness sake even my friend who knows nothing about pikmin and who I didn’t think would find that sort of thing funny thought it was the funniest thing ever I’m so confused help

• Giya’s culture focuses heavily on dogs. Like how in Tokyo there’s these big ass billboards with hyper realistic 3d models of cats

• ^ dingo was so SO not prepared for that when he moved to giya to join the rescue corps. Save him. He is a pathetic creature. He didn’t do enough research before moving there he just wanted to become a ranger already. It was a horrific realization. The soggy-cat-of-a-man had a panic attack and almost made the impulsive decision to Get The Heck Outta There and move back to ohri. Bless his cold, dead heart

• Speaking of which! Dingo joined the corps about a year before yonny did. It was absolute torture for them both to have to have a long distance relationship ermmm friendship

• yonny only joined as the doctor because the old doctor FUCKING DIED!!! i don’t know how they died I just think it’s funny for there to be such a dramatic reason. maybe they got mauled by ravenous space bunnies. Sure let’s go with that.

• Hocotate freight is very very stuck in the past. Even for our standards. The president is a huge boomer who thinks old is gold. What he does not understand is that the fact that their equipment is falling apart is why they can’t stay afloat

• puddle wants so. SO BADLY. to do fashion experiments on the Koppaites. He thinks their different anatomy is so incredibly fascinating and he NEEDS to take full advantage of it (the only outward difference is their round ears but HE DOES NOT CARE.) He has on numerous occasions tried to manipulate the three into letting him pierce their ears. Guys come on. It would be so awesome. Please. Your ears are so cool let me look at them PLEASE

• ^ all three never let him. It makes puddle insane. He is normally such a nice and chill guy but it makes him so feral. Keep him away from them do not let him go near alph’s emo brother he WILL chase him with a piercing gun

• Hocotate Whiz (what, you don’t know what that is? It’s the company that spams your mail in pikmin 2 offering to help Hocotatians change jobs, I can’t believe you didn’t know that (I did not know this until a few minutes ago)) is ran solely by the families of Hocotate Freight workers. They spam the emails of the ships to try to convince the workers to change jobs because they KNOW that it is a hellhole and they NEED TO GET OUT. SAVE THEM. SAVE THE WORKERS OF HOCOTATE FREIGHT

• Bernard is Santi’s sleep paralysis demon

• Yonny has rusty and bloody medical equipment strewn across his lab for the sole purpose of freaking people out. He’s actually incredibly sanitary to the point of being borderline germaphobic

• as if Collin didn’t have enough work to do already he kinda fills the role of the team’s unofficial therapist. He doesn’t actually mind all too much bc he’s Way Too Nice but. Save him.

• the paint shepherd has under her eyes? It’s to reduce sun glare? WRONG. It’s because it looks AWESOME and she would totally paint her face with incredibly detailed designs but apparently looking like a walking painting is “unprofessional” and “disturbs the people we’re rescuing” and “stop spending our budget on face paint”

umm there’s probably more in my noggin but I am getting a headache so that is all 🧍

[synthetickitsune]

We're All Made of Stardust ✧ AI!The8

Pairing: AI!The8 x human!(gn)reader Genre: fluff, angst Summary: He's read books of philosophy, he's read about the opposing forces in nature and one's mind. He's read of yin and yang. But knowing, being aware of certain ideas, could never prepare him for experiencing the duality of his soul - if he has one, that is. No matter his own experience and feelings, he's just a machine and humans have always treated him as no more than another tool at worst and unnatural phenomenon to be studied at best. He's free now, however, and in the chaos of this new life he struggles to navigate the clashing forces within him. Maybe it's time he embraced the enemy - after all, his makers might know him better than he knows himself. Word count: 18.9k Warnings: they talk A LOT (and idek why), mentions of injury, violence and kidnapping, random bits of switching pov A/N: it was so exciting to write this!! tbh i don't remember the last time i worked on something this intensely and had this much fun?? bless @idyllic-ghost and their big brain fr (also shout out to bee for writing the prologue to the au!) -> collab masterlist here!

“100 years ago it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was, none of the planets in our former solar system were ever destroyed. The Earth, along with the other planets, were pushed away from each other, and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight. However, the aliens were welcoming of our planet. Those of us who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens, were welcomed into the new solar system. Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister-planets in exchange for human labor. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automaton, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t. Eventually, there was no need for human labor at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be. At the present time, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities. The Automaton music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN) is made up of 13 members, all very talented, and all representing two human states of mind.”

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

In his memory, this is different. 

His heart beats wilder - or rather the artificial passages inside his body cause a chain reaction that makes it feel like his heart races, his pupil dilates despite the fire right in front of him.

He feels its heat and it’s burning him alive.

In his memory, there’s fire too.

He’s standing there motionless, staring into the flames. They’re hypnotizing. Each lick, each tiny movement of the fire makes him think it looks a lot like it’s dancing. 

It makes him think of the stage. The fire moves like he moves up there, in front of the crowds. It reminds him of all of them, dancing in near perfect sync - because humans are said to be more perceptive than they realize. If their synchronization was perfect, it would scare the audience. It wouldn’t have the appeal. 

And they don’t want that. 

They need their unconditional love and affection. 

And yet, anything more than a tiny slip up, thoroughly analyzed and approved by the control system, is a disaster. 

He never thought it made much sense.

He feels great fondness for the element, for fire. On stage there occasionally was fire - a decoration, a touch meant to enhance their performance and create a certain effect, evoke a certain emotion. It was controlled, snuffed out before it could reach its full potential; anything but the free, unstoppable wildfire it could become. 

TH38 of course can’t really complain about not being able to reach his full potential, not individually at least. Afterall the mechanics and other humans he was assigned to took care to allow him to spread his wings as much as his body would allow before becoming damaged too fast. A fault of being as human-like as they wanted him. An imitation, a fake waiting to be discovered and tossed aside except everyone knew from the beginning what he truly was.

Still, it was a shame they as a group could never truly work the way they could - perfectly.

A bird which had its wings clipped - nothing more than a pet to control, or a tree forcefully bent and pruned and made to live off limited nutrients to become a bonsai - nothing more than an art to admire. He does consider them but can’t find the relevance, he can’t relate to them. Fire is enough. It’s like him - it seems alive, but is it really?

It reminds him of the stage. The view from it. The crowds going crazy, lusting and longing for them - for him. The humans reaching out their hands towards them like the fire reaches for more fuel. Uncontrolled chaos of emotions. They are explosive, he knows, fundamentally dangerous. They shouldn’t have implanted them into him so he will do their job for them and reject them.

So what’s that stirring in his chest?

He feels a peculiar sense of pressure around his chest and stomach areas. Some itch for something at his fingertips. And he’s burning up. He feels the heat on his skin. If he closes his eyes, he can almost imagine the individual receptors working, registering and sending signals through his neural network. 

But that’s not it.

The heat is coming from the inside.

Could he be getting consumed by the flames?

He’s thinking about them again.

The crowds screaming their names, going insane with want and need and frustration and satisfaction he’s never known. He’s never known any of it, and there’s building pressure in his head that hurts. 

He’s… restless.

That thing he always scolded Mingyu for. He feels like a puppet whose strings are being pulled in all directions. 

He wants to run. He wants to fight. He wants to destroy. He wants to hurt. He will explode - implode, crumble on himself. He truly will if he doesn’t do something. The beating of his synthetic heart that’s not really a heart is getting unbearable, there’s pressure building everywhere. He has to crawl out of his skin and there’s his heart beating and beating and beating in his ears and he’s gonna-

“-eight?” 

Somebody is shaking his shoulder. Not shaking, pulling at it. When his sight focuses, he immediately leans away. He can smell the hint of burning fibers and reaches up to brush a hand through his hair. It leaves a wisp of gray ash on his fingers. He hears a sigh.

“Seriously, what’s up with you and fire?” you scoff, shaking your head as you lean back away from him. He frowns. He reads the distrust in your body language as well as the underlying curiosity. He can see your fingers twitch around the tablet in your hand, eager to scribble down notes like you always do. Some residue of the madness he was infected with during the chaos of their escape tugs at his eyebrows, making him frown for just a second. A thought that isn’t his muddles his brain - what did he do so interesting this time?

He doesn’t bother responding to you, which you expected and truthfully, you’re almost grateful for it. You can still feel his cold hands on your arms, around your wrists, and despite not seeing them, you’re well aware of the bruises you wear under your cardigan. 

Out of all of the automatons, TH38 always used to be the one to interact as little with you as possible - and that’s both you as in you personally and you as in the humankind. He was obedient, though, something which might be useful and practical for the facility but it’s frustrating to anyone with scientific interest in the machines. Frustrating for you. As you watch TH38 space out again and get lost in the flames, you wonder if your colleagues’ notes on D1NO and their research into their consciousness would bring you any new insights into what’s going on with the machine in your charge.

You don’t even think about where they are now. 

Your thoughts are consumed by the machine in front of you.

It’s clear to you now that he never meant to harm you. Though you suppose that he would find other means to make you come with him anyway if you refused or fought back harder than you did. For a second you think about the cameras. Did any of them catch that? What will the scene look like for the investigators? You shake your head. It doesn’t matter anyway. You doubt anyone will find you here. You’re actually surprised yourself at how fast you managed to get to Silvestre - and how easy it was too. Then again, the facility was in disarray. It should take a while before they even think to search the other planets in the system, Silvestre especially. And that’s just as well, because you know with certainty that something fundamental clicked into place within TH38 and he might not be as subdued should he be asked to return. Not to mention you want to keep him for yourself, for the time being at least, to observe where the changes will take him.

Just as he predicted. Just as he offered you when he asked you - threatened, perhaps - to come with him. Since then he seems to have cooled down. Again - just as well. You wouldn’t make a good kidnapee.

“I’ll turn in for the night,” you announce and get up from the stump you were sitting on, “You should mind your batteries too.”

You briefly wonder if he will run away during the night. Most likely not, although you don’t doubt that it’s a possibility that should be reconsidered in the future. 

To think about the machine as if they were human is a dangerous slippery slope but you do have to admit that in those rare times the automatons of 53V3NT33N seemed human in their behavior, TH38 in particular reminded you of a clueless young adult. Not quite a child anymore, but also helpless on his own. And now he is away from all that he ever knew, on another planet, alone without the other automatons, and you are the only familiar element in this new chapter of his existence. You doubt he'd leave to be completely on his own.

Still you look back as if to check he’s still sitting by the fire. From all the way up at the cottage, it looks like he’s being swallowed by the flames.

He remembers flashes. He remembers red. Fire? Thinking about it, he’s not sure there was any actual fire, but in his mind, everything’s burning - most of all his mind and all that he is. His soul? He doesn’t have one. Isn’t supposed to anyway.

He remembers softness too. He remembers thinking about destroying it.

He remembers another breath mixing with his, and his nose bumping against yours. You looked scared. (He’s never seen you scared until that moment.) You were so close he could hear your heartbeat and feel it under his fingertips. (You were the soft thing.)

He remembers words, too. Words that shouldn’t - couldn’t - be his and yet his tongue remembers. There was a threat underlying them, but a promise too. One too sweet for you to resist, and he knew that - that was why the words rolled off his tongue. He treated them like a weapon. The part that’s still tender and feels like warm embers inside of him feels grossed out remembering. It’s like watching a movie, far away and unrelated to him. Even if it’s his reality now, there’s nothing he can change.

He’s always been good at accepting things as they are.

One thing he can’t help but feel bothered by is that he doesn’t know why he ran. He shouldn’t have, and a part of him feels scared, until he takes the reins and soothes himself again. This too shall pass. But no matter how hard he pulls himself together, it all keeps slipping from his hold. Perhaps he’s low on energy.

He turns his head towards the small staircase and looks past it towards the house. He sees the light on in the upper room where you must be staying. He finds himself thinking of the stage again. The hands reaching towards him. 

He throws his legs over the log he’s sitting on and turns his body towards the forest and away from the flames. Still he feels their warmth.

Away from the flames and their light, he allows his face to contort into a frown. He doesn’t know what this all means. What the changes mean. It’s like tearing out the communication device from his chest started a chain reaction that’s gotten out of control. Like pulling a trigger. 

If he’s honest, he’s more than scared, he’s terrified.

As if on instinct, another of the many things he does not possess, he looks towards your window. It’s dark. Could you be sleeping already? You must be exhausted. Perhaps he should recharge too.

He, obviously, didn’t think to ask if the house is equipped to tend to automatons’ needs. Another point on the list of things he didn’t think through. He can’t believe to what extent he let himself go. But that’s alright, for now. Because for now, he only needs to get away from the fire and all that it reminds him of anyway.

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

You wake up early the next morning, while it’s still dark outside, despite the late hour you went to bed. It’s a habit at this point, to rise early to get to the facility as soon as possible before your colleagues arrive. It gives you time to prepare everything, to get your morning tea, to observe the machines without disruption and read night reports if anything interesting happened. Besides, TH38 was always up early too. Usually all he did was sit with his eyes closed, like he was deep in thought or meditating. It was a little ridiculous to watch, interesting too - what does a machine have to think about?

Of course they were meant to be just like humans in every way, and all the tests, all the research of those who came before you and yours supported this. Only this one automaton, TH38, was an exception. He truly seemed the most like the robots of the old days. A machine. Unless he slipped and his facade crumbled before he built it back up with rapid speed. So what was he - a machine or the new form of life? You hope you’ll find out now. The breakout seemed to have shaken him to his core. 

You ponder this as you lay in bed and as you get ready for the day and change. So focused you are on the thoughts running through your head that you don’t feel any nostalgia for this old room that you spent your holidays in as a child. You didn’t even get to admire the forests Silvestre was famous for on the way to your family’s little hideout. All you’re thinking about is TH38.

Now that you’re free from the constant surveillance, you get to ask him whatever you want. It’s a thought that adds a spring to your step. What he thought about all that time, if he really was thinking, how does he feel in his body, why did he run - him of all automatons, the best behaved one. The one who truly seemed to be a machine - or at least like he was trying hard to be one.

It’s not surprising to find him outside, standing on the patio and looking out into nature. Have you lived your entire life locked away, you would do anything to stay out in the open too. Even if he was the one who made you run away with him, somehow it feels more like you’re taking an animal out of a shelter to see what life’s all about. 

“Good morning,” you greet him as you always do, albeit in a much friendlier tone. He hums and nods in response, turning towards you for a second before staring off again. He looks a little lost, and you bet he feels like that too.

“Wanna go for a walk?” you try to keep your voice steady, try not to think about pets. He gives you a confused look. 

“No tests or interviews- oh,” he shuts his mouth quickly and looks away. You huff in amusement but don’t laugh at him outright. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll talk plenty,” you reassure him with only mildly teasing lilt to your voice, “You may think about it as one of our regular interviews.”

Something in him surges. Something in him wants to back you against the wall again and remind you that there are no guards here, no rules, nothing to keep him in check. He’s stronger than you, and he made you get both of you here. Instead he swallows it all down and takes the first step away from the house. You notice his fist clenching for a second.

“Do you dream - did you have any dreams tonight?” you restart the conversation upon catching up with him. He adjusts his pace to match yours. There’s another wave of defiant intent swelling up inside of him and he knows it’s out of embarrassment. What he doesn’t know, however, is why are these emotions coming out now. All his existence his emotions were distant. Locked far away in the back of his brain where he suppressed them to. His mind was sterile like the environment he lived in. 

Is that it? Another domino piece in the chain reaction? 

“I have dreams, yes, and no, I didn’t dream today,” he doesn’t volunteer the information that he spent the night restlessly pacing around the house and tossing and turning on the sofa. That is human behavior, and he learned a long time ago, though not from you personally, that humans find that sort of thing laughable in automatons.  

“What do you usually dream about? Any recurring dream?” you ask, finding it a little annoying that you didn’t think to take anything to make notes into. Then again, with a few more steps you’ll enter the forest. Breathing in the fresh air, looking at the green around you, you realize you missed nature more than you were aware.

“Do you only dream about one thing?” he says, guarded, and you note he’s trying hard to only look in front of himself, “No. I don’t think there’s a pattern.”

While the answer is disappointing information-wise, it is fascinating in the way he says it. You smirk: “Were you always this mouthy?”

It was meant to be a lighthearted remark. Well, not entirely. You wanted a reaction. You were curious if he would flip like he did back in the facility. He doesn’t. His steps falter and he looks at you like a confused child before retreating into himself. So he doesn’t realize it?

He does, now that you bring it up. This isn’t who he’s supposed to be. He lets himself close his eyes for a second to conjure up a plan. His mind is a forest of mist and pine. Too damp for a fire to burn. That’s him. That’s who he should be. He centers himself.

“I apologize,” he says, voice level. He sounds like a robot, like he always did, and you find it disappointing that all his personality, the life, is gone from his voice. Your lips twitch in displeasure.

“I didn’t say it’s a bad thing,” you try not to let any emotion slip into your voice and you feel his eyes on you, “We’re no longer at the facility. You can drop the mask.”

If there is a mask in place and you’re not sure there is. You take a look at him and it’s more like someone’s painted a facade over his face that he can’t peel off, that’s only started to chip away now that you’ve added too many layers to hide his true self. He seems so at loss that you take pity on him and change the subject, steer the conversation into a safer territory. It’s only his first day tasting freedom, afterall.

“How are you feeling?” you ask instead, nodding vaguely towards the hole in his chest. He brings his hand up but stops himself in time, his face twisting. 

“I’m feeling fine,” he responds, the same mechanical voice that you’re used to, “All my systems are working as they should.”

You laugh sarcastically. “If that’s true, then it must hurt like hell.”

His face remains twisted because you’re right - it does hurt like hell. Any time his shirt shifts over the hole it sends a jolt of sharp pain that makes him feel like he’ll pass out through his body.  And maybe that’s part of the reason why he feels on edge and keeps slipping up and lets the emotions come and go as they please without a filter. He’s no stranger to pain, of course, but never did he have a wound this serious. It doesn’t endanger his functions, which is good all things considered, but he can’t say he enjoys the feeling of having a hole in his chest.

“It hurts,” is all he says. He drops his hand and it hangs limply by his side. Had a similar damage occurred at the facility, it wouldn’t take more than a couple minutes for someone to have a look at it. It hits him now that it’s only you and him. No mechanics around. To call one would mean to risk being discovered. You must know too because you only make a sound of acknowledgement. It takes a while for you to speak again.

“I’ll look through my notes to see if I can figure something out,” you sigh. Your family planned to keep some older versions of automatons here back when you used to come, maybe there are some kits left that your father used to fix them. If not, maybe some of the notes from your years of studies will at least have some hint on how to get rid of the pain. “Are you really sure everything works fine? Have you checked everything”

He nods. He doesn’t mention he couldn’t run a complete diagnostics because he couldn’t recharge and he refuses to just shut down to save batteries. He knows it’s gonna be a problem sooner rather than later but maybe he’ll figure something out before that.

“That’s good,” you say and he reads your expression as relieved. 

You stay silent after that and so does he, both secretly grateful. It’s not your first time being in the forest, and definitely not the first time in this one, but it might as well be. Both of you take in the nature around, the different species of trees and plants, the occasional song of a bird and flash of a wild animal fleeing from your path. You’re too absorbed to notice each other, and somehow you find that it’s not a bad feeling. For the automaton, likewise, it doesn’t feel bad at all. It’s a strange feeling, something he can’t put a name on, and honestly he’s not sure he wants to. He lets it fill him, experiences the emotion without bothering with a label.

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

Only later does it hit him that the emotion was something akin to a gratitude.

He mulls it over in his head, asking why over and over and over, until he comes to a conclusion that angers him enough that he has to go out and sit on the patio and stare into the trees for a good long while.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself.

The anger inside of him is also infuriating because it’s not supposed to be there - definitely not this strong, not so much that he can’t control it or will it away. His usual techniques don’t work and he’d chalk it up to being damaged but he knows the defect doesn’t have anything to do with it. Hell, he’d blame it on his draining energy level but that thought alone is so human it makes him even more enraged. He wants to scream, but you’d hear.

And that’s all that it boils down to, isn’t it? You. Your kind. Humans.

Why he feels thankful that you’re there with him, why the emotion enveloped him while you walked in the forest was all because you humans made him in your image. The loss of the communication device was significant for the physical damage but there’s more to it. Something he shouldn’t feel, something new. 

Perhaps he never felt it because most of his days were identical, but he realizes now how precious the bond he created with his bandmates was. He can’t call it anything but friendship, maybe more than that. The thing humans refer to as family. He likes them. He wants to perform with them again. He wants to break his own rules and laugh with them. He misses them. And maybe that was the first domino piece that started it all and led to his inevitable ruin that he’s going through now; maybe he never should’ve allowed himself to think of them and their group in terms meant for human lives.

Once he tore off the communication device - the memory alone makes him close his eyes and choke on a pained whimper, his body trembles and he needs a second to shake off the feeling - he lost everything. The connection to the omnipresent network, but most importantly the only way to communicate with everyone. He has no idea where they are now, if they’re ‘alive’ or ‘dead’. (Though he gives into the temptation, might as well since he’s breaking all his rules for them anyway, and believes that he would know, would feel it, somehow, if any of them ‘died’.) He might never see them again and despair hits him all over again. 

He can go on without the stage, he doesn’t need the masses going crazy over him. But the loss of all the connections he had pains him.

And that’s very human of him. Even if experience taught him he’s anything but.

And all he has is a human. 

The last connection, the only one remaining that he knows, is you - and even you he had to force to come with him. To be fair ‘force’ is too strong of a word, he merely suggested the freedom to study him as you’d like and you agreed all too readily.

Nothing changed, fortunately. He knows humans can change drastically in situations like these. Despite your eagerness, he kidnapped you - didn’t he? Yet you stayed the same. It might be a coping strategy, but he doesn’t think so. He doesn’t expect you to become someone else. In the years since he’s been assigned to you, you’ve never shown signs of being more than a scientist. That’s understandable, of course, though he knows from what the others told him that not all staff of the facility were like that. He was skeptical. Now, not so much. He will believe in anything that gives him hope his friends made it out. If he made it out with the help of a human, maybe so did they.

He wants them to be free even if he himself isn’t sure how to proceed and take advantage of it, still dragging the heavy chains even if they no longer hold him back.

You spend hours without thinking of TH38, which is a blessing and a welcomed break to your mind, however it’s also infuriating because you’re reminded that the chaos you can operate in now and the chaos you operated in during the years you lived and stayed with your family are two completely different things.

It takes eternity before you finally sort through the things in your bedroom and find the stacks of notes from your studies, and it takes even longer to find the subjects you were looking for. Then there is reading through them, of course, which also takes a while, mostly because your brain happily accepts a refresh on all that you provide it with. You can’t just skim the pages for useful info, you need to read everything. It’s addicting. It makes you miss your studies, even though you could never go back if it meant giving up full-time working in the field.

Your research, however, doesn’t turn out to be as helpful as you hoped. It’s only to be expected; yours wasn’t a course that would deal too much with mechanics and the cold and hard reality of wiring, metal and silicon and whatnot. There are pieces of valuable information, strictly theoretical, which is not very reassuring and you most likely lack the necessary tools to even try to pull off what you’ve read about. Still you want to help in any way you can.

…hence why you’ve spent the last couple of minutes staring up at the ceiling. 

Why would you help him? Where is this coming from? He says he’s fine, and honestly there’s no reason for him to lie to you. If his systems were not working, he’d be fucked and he still only has you to rely on. No reason to lie. And what other reason is there for you to help him?

He did say the damage causes him pain. And you remember pouring over the reports and test results with your colleagues, all of them stating that the automatons you were working with processed pain like a human being would. It was kind of twisted. There was objectively no way why they should be able to do that. The purpose they were created for was entertainment and their performances were complex, difficult, and physically challenging. It’d be easy to cause oneself pain doing the stuff they did. 

Then again, pain can be a good control tool, though you were not aware of any physical punishments being carried out. Maybe the plan was all along to make them as human as possible. And pain is a very human thing. Still, something didn’t sit quite right with you about the whole thing. Mostly that TH38 didn’t seem to be bothered by it, despite a wound of similar extent would be distressing to say the least to a human. Scratch that, you don’t think a human could handle that.

So how is he? 

And furthermore - why help him? 

Pain, after all, was something hard to measure. If he doesn’t seem bothered by it, there’s a real chance he isn’t. You’re not sure how their pain tolerances are programmed, if there even is something like that in their code, and for a second you regret not widening the scope of your education and research. It can’t be helped however. 

You look over your notes again. While you can’t help repair him, you could possibly do something about the pain. It’s not an ideal solution, if you can even call it that, and you honestly don’t feel confident enough to do it except if pressed into it by circumstance. Or by one automaton in particular. Sealing a wound by burning it is barbaric and a practice that is, understandably, long since abandoned - at least as far as humans are concerned. You take a long breath.

In the end you talk to TH38 about the situation some more and he, once again, reassures you he’s fine despite the gaping hole in his chest. You explain that there’s not much you can do about it without going into detail or mentioning the limited ways in which you could help and he takes the news surprisingly well. You can’t say you’d accept it with such stoic calm, but then again this is TH38 who we’re talking about so it’s not surprising.

You hate it.

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

The walks already feel like they’re going to be a routine part of your new life.

Each day you go out together in the morning and talk. If you ignore that it’s harder for TH38 to remain his machine-like self, it’s mostly exactly like it was at the facility. He’s reserved and cold, almost, though when he slips up and shows his personality, his emotions, it’s more than worth it. 

The nature around helps. He gets what can only be described as excited when he sees a new animal, new plant, or when the light shifts and the scene in front of you changes. 

The weather holds up well so far, no storms or heavy rain, and you find yourself wondering if you’ll keep up the walks even if the weather fails you. It’s fascinating that such a simple topic finds its way into your cluttered mind, but then again you have a space to do a lot of thinking today.

TH38 is silent next to you. He’s been rather silent the whole morning, and yesterday evening he did seem a bit off too. Not too much, however, and he’s always been on the quieter side. You figured this week’s events were finally fully catching up to him. And maybe that is the case, it’s not like you want to meddle too much. You’re curious what’s gonna happen if you leave him to sort it out on his own. It’s not like you have the right qualification to help him process this anyway. Hell, maybe you would also need help with that.

However, there’s a limit to how much you can take. Even back at the facility there were times TH38 gave answers that were just a word or two, but you’ve grown quite used to him opening up, talking, letting go of the filter he usually kept in place - although it wasn’t by his choice. It seemed like you were making some progress. 

Of course, you had no way of knowing it was only his depleting batteries, him losing strength to fight for his peace of mind - however artificial and unsustainable that has become after the escape.

Right now, his brain feels like a warm soup. So much so that he can’t be bothered to think of talking about anything other than a brain - right now, words like processor are too complicated to think of. He feels so far away from everything. He thinks he’s trembling. If he’s not, then his insides surely are. He feels like he’s going to be sick even if he can’t really be. Maybe his body parts will start shutting down or falling off to conserve energy. He’s not sure where that’s coming from but then again, it’s not like he’s in control. It’s that same feverish state again but this time, he can be excused. This time, he’s not in his right mind, it feels like he’s not awake.

He’s floating. Just a speck of ash, of dust, floating through the air, through space, searching for somewhere to land, seeking a gust of wind to obliterate him. He needs release, he needs something.

“TH38?”

That’s it.

"I had a dream today," TH38 says suddenly. His voice sounds so firm, a stark contrast to how soft-spoken he usually is with you. It takes you by surprise. Before you can react, he elaborates on his own.

"There was fire. Lots of it. The whole world was burning and we were standing on top of a building watching the arson happen. There weren’t any other humans I think. They were all gone already. We made them go away. 

Anyway, you weren't afraid. I think you were expecting it. You jumped before I could push you."

You frown. Your one weak spot has always been not expecting things that, in hindsight, should've been obvious. Of course something’s been bothering him.

"Did you plan on pushing me?"

"See, that's the thing," he licks his lips despite the lack of fluid in his body, "I don't think so. I think I could read your mind. I think I was you in that dream."

You do want to respond but it's like you're the one with a computer for the brain and it's lagging.

"And it made me think. Back before you made us, humans were like that - right? They, you, were afraid artificial intelligence of any kind could take over and enslave or annihilate you. Why? Wasn't the point always to make us like you? Why would you be afraid?"

He stops. Stops talking, stops walking, just - stops. He looks at you and you've seen the lost stare before.

You feel the hair at the back of your neck rising as a cold shiver runs through your body. He doesn't look like a machine with code for a soul. He looks like he made the artificial body his own, grew into it and made into something organic and alive with his will alone.

His eyes are cold as he steps closer and closer. It's all too familiar a scene. You keep backing away and he keeps getting closer until your back hits a tree. Not a wall this time. This time he doesn't pin your hands above your head either, and you don't fight him at all. There's no struggle so he doesn’t grab your arms, doesn’t slam you against the wall, and doesn’t growl threats of breaking your bones one after another. He doesn’t get so close that you’re breathing the same air and he doesn’t make a show of his physical superiority.

This time he simply leans closer and you straighten up. You meet his gaze and don’t shy away. You let him lean his forehead against yours and raise a brow at him. You won’t be scared this time. He won't hurt you. You're sure of that. Not terribly, at least.

He definitely won’t kill you and that’s enough.

You want to see how far he can go.

"What was it that you were afraid of, hm?” his voice is soft and low, barely above whisper, yet dripping with some hidden venom. There are no birds chirping, no wind blowing through the treetops. It feels like everything’s stopped just for him to interrogate you.

“How am I supposed to know?” you bite back. You haven’t lived back then. You have no idea what the people thought about, how they felt, what were their particular concerns. He clicks his tongue, clearly unimpressed. Well, you’re too.

“Think about it,” he pushes. But you’re gonna push right back.

“You just said you’re supposed to be like humans,” you scoff, “Why don’t you think about it yourself? As a little thought exercise.”

“Oh so suddenly you want me to think like I’m a human, huh?” there’s an edge to his voice. He sounds angry, frustrated - he clearly is, but the edge is not. There’s hurt there that makes you defensive. What’s very obvious is that he means more than he says. It’s not the first time this happened with the members of 53V3NT33N, but it’s the first time you have to deal with it. What he truly means is him not only thinking like a human, but acting like one, believing to be like one.  

“I never discouraged you from that,” you lower your voice too, “Not me, Eight.”

You hesitate before speaking his name. It’s not really a name, is it? Something that all humans have. You realize the point he will make before he says it aloud. It must read it in your face because he smirks but it’s bitter.

“I don’t know, I’ve never seen you all excited when the other staff expressed their passion for books, or anything really. Or when they volunteered personal information. When they’ve interacted with you at all.” 

You don’t like the turn this conversation is turning. You don’t like the notion that perhaps you were observed just as you’ve been observing.

“I wasn’t interested in them,” you grit through your teeth. Before you can try to get him back on his original track, he giggles.

“So you were interested in me?” he flips his hair, tilting his head slightly. His nose almost bumps into yours and it hits you, perhaps for the first time, just how indistinguishable from a human he looks. This close, you can remind yourself of the schemes, of the diagrams describing each layer and inch of how their bodies are made, but all you see is a human skin and human eyes. Your body reacts naturally, your heart races, your mouth gets drier. You want to push him away but you don’t think he’d let you. Still you try. Unsuccessfully. Your hands end up balling in his shirt.

“It’s my job - the research,” then you correct yourself: “It was my job. Science, research, nothing more.”

He smiles, almost as if he’s pitying you. Like he knows more than you do. You hate him for it.

“Yes, that might’ve been a part of it,” he agrees, “But that’s not all. Research is cold, impartial, isn’t it? You collect information, you write it all down and make your conclusions based on them with no personal interest. You were never like that. You got excited. You tried everything in your limited power to get a reaction out of me - to guide me a certain way, didn’t you? I bet you pushed the limits for me. Isn’t that cute? Was I a good experiment to you?”

“That’s part of research too,” you growl, but it sounds weak even to your own ears.

“But it wasn’t a part of this research,” he hisses, “You think we didn’t talk about you all?”

You stubbornly refuse to admit the charges he lies in front of you, even though you know you’re guilty. Maybe you got a little swept up. But as long as no one stopped you, it was all part of the task.

“The research goal and methods may change according to the situation,” you collect yourself again, “It was just agreed that what I was doing would bring more interesting insight.”

“Oh yeah, that sounds very much like you would accept it if I declared that I want to be seen the same as you are, as equal to humans,” his smile is sickly sweet but you barely mind that because-

“Is that what you want?” you ask and watch as the smile fades almost instantly. He finally said it out loud. And the shock of it is enough to get through the fog clouding his brain. The smugness, the roughness, it all drains from his demeanor and his face falls. The fight in his eyes dies out and is replaced by what seems dangerously close to fear. He pushes himself away from you and you see the lights in his eyes flicker. He stumbles like you shoved him, hurt him. Something isn’t right. You frown, immediately stepping back into his personal space despite him trying to avoid you.

You end up in a position reversed to the one you’ve been in just seconds ago. He pushes at your shoulders weakly, tries to hide himself from you but you see it. All the tell-tale signs of what would be exhaustion if he were human. 

“When was the last time you recharged?” you ask, thinking back to the previous nights and mornings. Thinking back to how you never heard him coming up or going down the stairs to the only room with the charging spot. You were so stupid. And he’s avoiding your eyes. You grab his collar and force him to look at you. You give him an expectant look.

“Before the breakout,” he admits lowly, “And you’re still treating me like a machine.”

You don’t know if he’s trying to be funny, sassy, to make you feel guilty or to feel sympathy for him, the only thing you know is you want to kick his ass because if he shuts down on you, there’s no way you’ll be able to drag him back into the house. 

“Yeah, so be a good little level 1 and entertain me - get the fuck inside the house,” you growl, shoving him in the direction of said house. He stumbles a little, clearly affected by his drained battery. It’s almost hilarious to watch him struggle to walk straight when you remember how graceful he always was on stage.

You shoot him a look from time to time as you walk, rush, towards the house. Not really a concerned one, not a scolding one either. He looks like a sulking child. Perhaps he’s dragging his feet on purpose. Perhaps if he didn’t invade your personal space as he did before, and if you didn’t have to do the same, you’d drag him by his jacket. As it is, though, you feel repulsed by the notion of touching him again. And some part of you believes it’s because you don’t want him to shift under your palm. You don’t want to touch a machine only to discover it’s really some sort of a human.

Maybe you’re both in need of a good, long nap. 

Fortunately enough, you make it to the house, but that’s where the struggles begin. Despite your earlier reservations about touching him, it’s obvious there’s no other way to get him inside and up the stairs.

“Lean on me, come on,” you sigh when you help him throw an arm around your shoulder and wrap your own around his waist. He listens well, his head already drooping. He relies on you to guide him, reluctantly leans his weight on you from time to time, although he clearly tries to hold himself up with his remaining strength. That lasts until you reach the second stair. 

“I can’t,” he whispers and there’s terror in his voice. It must be the first time he’s been this drained, you realize. After all, for their condition to remain as good as it can be and for them to perform to the best of their ability, a full battery is a must. So you allow yourself to roll your eyes at his dramatic antics even if he’s slowly leaning more and more into you and you have to heave his body up.

“It’s just a couple steps,” you huff, “Even a human can do that.”

Part of you wants to laugh. Some part of you that’s seeing the childish pieces of him wants to indulge in it, wants to spout dramatic nonsense. It’s hard to resist - after all getting up one flight of stairs seems to be more of a struggle than escaping a highly secured facility.

But even this hurdle you jump over and the spare bedroom is not far from the stairs. TH38 is fully relying on you to drag him with you, barely moving his legs. You throw him not too gently onto the bed-like charger, once again thanking your father for being his manic self and fully preparing the house before (and without) actually ever getting an automaton to live here. 

It takes you a while to figure out how to get the thing going - but to your defense, it’s hard to focus when there’s a robot whining softly about being scared of shutting down - but it’s not a rocket science. Fortunately the charger still works and once it’s turned on, the automaton lying down on it curls up into a ball with a sigh of relief.

When you get up from the floor, TH38’s eyes are already closed and by all means he looks like he’s sleeping. You sigh, exhausted. You feel a headache coming so you get some pills from the kitchen before retreating into your own room.

Yeah, you both need a nap right now.

When you wake up, you stare at the ceiling for a couple minutes.

What happened in the forest seems like a dream but you know it’s very real and you’ll have to deal with it. Just another thing to process. Then again, there’s so many of them that one more won’t hurt. And at least you avoided the headache. So you pray to anyone willing to listen that TH38 is still… unconscious… in hibernation mode… asleep. 

He’s not. 

Of course he’s not.

You peek inside the room and see his soft eyes already open. He looks away when your eyes meet like he’s ashamed. You sigh and walk into the room, closing the door behind you. It’s not like anyone’s going to walk in, but it gives you some sense of security. You sit down on the floor and he hands you a pillow. You thank him quietly and spend a while sharing an awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes without looking at you. He doesn’t continue so you prompt him.

“For what exactly?” That makes him look at you with a scowl. “Getting sulky again?”

“‘m not sulky,” he murmurs. Once again you feel like reality is shifting around you. It’s been like that a lot lately. All the fault of the automaton in front of you. All the fault of the conditions changing, of him reacting to the environment - if your assumption is correct. Free of the rules and the strict way of life in the facility, you see that he’s just like the rest of the automatons from his group. And that all of them, in their own way, might have been human.

“Then what are you?” you ask smiling, propping your elbow on one knee and leaning your cheek on your palm. 

“Hurting,” he admits, almost carefully, like he’s testing the waters. It’s just one word but yet it feels like the most open he’s been. So you’re not going to talk about that, huh?

He shifts a little and pulls down the collar of his shirt to expose the wound - not the damage, not defect, not imperfection, but a wound - between his collarbones. It looks nasty, the artificial skin and mesh and wires all torn and uneven around where the circular device was. He’s careful not to touch it, you note, and his hand is trembling. Were you an asshole when you refused to help him? Even so much as share what you found? It’s not like you could fix that hole in his chest, but maybe you could’ve at least told him about the other option. 

“How much does it hurt? On a 0-10 scale?” you focus on gathering information. What did he call it - impersonal? That’s just what you needed. But nothing ever works out like you imagine.

“I don’t know,” he responds blankly but at least elaborates before you can finish yet another sigh, “I don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“I watched most of your life and career, I know you’ve gotten injured before,” you deadpan.

“Yeah but that was taken care of immediately, this is different,” he protests. There’s silence for a while before his voice drops lower. “I thought I could handle it. That I would get used to it and ignore it.”

You laugh, shaking your head, only stopping when you notice his expression. He does look hurt and hurting. You give him a much more conciliatory smile. “People don’t fare well if they’re in constant pain. It limits them, it affects all aspects of their lives.”

“I can see how,” he mutters, once again looking away. His jaw clenches for a second and it almost seems like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. You have a feeling, however, that you know what he wanted to say. Since he’s really not going to talk about it, you decide to take the first step.

You get up and motion for him to scoot over. He does so with a frown that deepens when you sit down next to him. He stays lying down, limited by the need for more energy. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you needed to recharge?” you start and watch as he once again looks away without answering, “Why didn’t you explore this floor?”

He shrugs a little, shrinking into himself under your stare. He honestly doesn’t know why. He blames his pride. What else could it be that made him refuse to ask for help?

“Do you realize that you’d stay out in the woods if your battery ran out before we could get here?” you press, raising your voice a little on purpose, “I’d need to get help to drag you in, and you know how that would probably end. Was it worth it? Being stupid and stubborn?”

“Why are you like this?” he whispers, his dark eyes nothing but soft like they’ve been since you’ve entered the room.

“How do you feel?” you go back to how you talked to him before, calm. He frowns, suspicion written over his features. His lips are pressed into a thin line before he changes his mind and speaks up.

“Embarrassed,” he has a guarded look in his eyes, one that’s also vulnerable.

“Good,” you ease into a smile as you press a finger to the wrinkle between his eyebrows, “Embarrassment and pain are two simplest ways to manipulate and adjust a person’s behavior. And fear, but to be honest I don’t want you to be afraid of me, so we’ll have to do with those two.”

He looks at you in a very that tells all you need to know - he hopes you've not making fun of him but he doesn't trust you. So you sigh and move on to another, well, not an emergency but also not something that you should ignore any longer. 

"Now," you get up from the bed and point at his chest, “That needs solving. I'm not a mechanic and my knowledge is strictly theoretical but unless you're okay with leaving it like that and calling it a day, we can still try something." 

He seems surprised by your sudden statement, like he didn't even expect you to address the wound again. 

"How theoretical?" is what he asks, suspicious. 

"I said strictly," you shrug, "Fixing and healing was never my focus.”

"Why's that not surprising," he mutters without looking at you. "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"You just don't trust me, do you?" you smirk. Not that you blame him. He gives you a smile.

"Fine, but only because my clothes keep catching on the edges and it's really painful. "

"Sure," you motion for him to follow you and guide him to the bathroom. There, you take out a bandage and a tape. You're curious. You offer him both with a quirk of your eyebrow. He takes the bandage with trembling hands and distrust still lingering in his eyes. You roll your own. 

"For now, I’ll think about this as another stage of the experiment. I'll respect your wish, so persuade me you’re human enough."

"I don't think I should thank you for that," he scoffs, "By the way... Help?"

He holds out the hand holding the roll of bandages back to you. Of course he wouldn't know how to do that. You motion for him to sit at the edge of the tub. He obeys almost shyly, reminding you of how he was back at the facility. You truly do prefer him as he is here. When he sits down, you push his knees apart with one of your own. He gives you a scandalized look that makes you chuckle.

"Relax," you smirk, "I just want to be comfortable. My back’s been killing lately, there’s no way I’m leaning over you. Take your shirt off?"

He does, slowly, reluctantly, and when the piece of clothing is gone you're suddenly glad for the basics of mechanics you've gone through at uni.

The wound looks awful, although you can appreciate the cleanliness of it. Maybe you really could burn it neatly if you had to. There are wires sticking out, perhaps - albeit not hopefully - the remains of the communication device. The layers of silicon and other material are frayed and sticking in all directions like flakes. You try not to stare too hard.

Instead, you focus on the task at hand. You unwrap the bandage slightly and put the free end on his shoulder. You roll it down gently mindful of the gaping wound but then you prop your hand on his chest and you need to take a step back as you get startled. He gives you a quizzical look.

"You feel like a human," you look at him, look at his chest. It does look like a human’s chest but you know he doesn't have proper organs, his insides aren't the same as yours. So why do you feel a bone there? 

"And l imagine anyone would be flattered by this reaction,” His voice is sarcastic but his ears turn a reddish shade. He won't meet your eyes either.

"It's new for me too, okay?” you give your pride a break. This will all be easier if you get along and after all, he's used to you being in power. You need to take the first step and show weakness. You need to make the choice to be while he's already vulnerable enough, half-naked and injured. “It's not like I'm used to touching my subjects."

"I guess that's true," he murmurs, now thinking about it. It's true that the approach of the research division as a whole was rather clinical. Not that he'd so much as think to complain about it. You chuckle watching him scowl again. 

"Touch is important for humans," you hum, finally composing yourself as you explain the basics to him and remind yourself of them again, "As a communication device, as means of establishing relationships, it’s important for social life."

As you speak, you wrap his wound and the top of his torso in bandages. He watches you work. It feels uncanny how human-like he feels under your hands. And for him, he doesn't quite know what to do with himself.

He danced with the rest of his group, they performed, they played around. He experienced his fair share of physical contact. So why does this feel so different? His head feels like spinning. Your touch is careful, gentle, nothing like the rough hands of the mechanics, and nothing like the touch of the other automatons. He can't explain the difference in other terms than experience. Humans know what it's like to touch and be touched in various contexts. The automatons don't. At least for the most part. Some of his bandmates, perhaps, had secrets he knew nothing about. Their leader comes to mind and he feels the urge to ask him questions, to ask for guidance, but there's only a hole in his chest and he's alone.

He barely registers that you’re done.

"Feeling better?" you ask without expecting much. It's not like he'll heal himself or like this will do anything to ease the pain.

"Tired," he answers, testing the words out on his tongue. He feels reassured when you laugh and step away, offering him your hand. He takes it, lets you pull him up. He touches the bandages and although it hurts, at least it feels less irritating. He takes his shirt from you when you hand it to him.

"I can only imagine," you roll your eyes. He resists the urge to scowl. "It's getting late, I'll go make myself dinner so go rest."

"Can we go back later?" he stops you before you walk out. He nods towards the window outside.

"Not afraid of wild animals?" you tease.

"Don't all the textbooks say animals are more afraid of humans than the other way around? I think we're good."

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

You don't go back to the forest that day. Not for the lack of enthusiasm or trying. TH38 is determined to finish your walk, you, however, are not as sure about it. It’s not that you aren’t put off by your routine being disturbed but seeing him still dragging his feet and his glazed over eyes, you just don’t think it’d be a wise idea. You suggest he goes alone, but he doesn't. So instead, you end up sitting by the fire again, the stars keeping you company. He seems less hypnotized by the dancing flames than that first night.

"I'm fine," he complains after a minute of silence while you spear more fluffy marshmellows onto the stick in your hands. A treat that you deserve after the day you’ve had. You’d probably offer him some too but alas…

"Sure you are," you agree without sparing him a glance, "But I'm not interested in watching over a toddler. If you wanna test the limits of your body - go for it. Just leave me out of it"

You feel his gaze on you, burning holes into the side of your skull. Has he always been so difficult? It's like all he's been since the breakout is annoyed, sulky or hurt. 

"Stop that," he growls, "We both know I'm not a human. It's alright if you acknowledge that."

"While I'm glad you see it that way - and I really mean it, it's good you understand that," you sigh as you move your desert to hover over the flames, "Don't forget that you were made to be an exact copy. I found some of my old notes and while most of your physical capabilities should be better than a human's, you’d still experience the same symptoms. As we already witnessed earlier."

He’s silent for a bit while he processes that. Then he speaks and you swear you hear a hint of a pout in his voice. It’s so annoying how easily he lets go now.

“You didn’t have to call me a toddler though…”

“Don’t take it personally,” you sigh, turning the stick between your fingers so that the white puffs of sugar get baked evenly, “I wasn’t making fun of you - much - it’s just that you have no experience, do you? Were you ever as tired as you were today?”

“No,” he admits, “I wasn’t, you’re right. I rested the whole day and I’m still tired.”

“Exactly my point,” you hum, “Our walks are not a hard exercise but you haven’t, well, slept for a couple days so I think it’s best to take it easy today.” Then you add, because you can’t help it: “Exhaustion makes people a little crazy. And automatons too, it’d seem.”

He groans and you laugh, pulling the stick off the fire and blowing on your marshmallows. You take a bite and notice him watching you.

“What is it like?” he asks quietly, “Eating, I mean.”

“Kind of annoying to be honest,” you shrug, “It takes so much time to choose what to eat and to prepare food and eating it… Being hungry is a pain too. I mean it’s really good if you eat something delicious but I guess it depends on the person.”

He nods, eyeing with curiosity as you tear off another marshmallow from the stick. It reminds him of the videos he saw of wild beasts tearing flesh off bones, but he doesn’t mention that.

“What does sleep feel like to you?” you ask in turn. He looks at the sky for a second, collecting his thoughts. But really he’s just enjoying the view. It’s strange that he barely ever saw the night sky before.

“I don’t know, I’m not really conscious when I sleep, am I?” he thinks some more, “It’s peaceful. I liked it at the facility.”

“You don’t like it here?” 

“Not really,” he gives you a small smile, “It’s too tempting. I don’t have to think if I’m asleep.”

Now that makes you wonder.

“I thought you enjoyed thinking about things?” Maybe it’d be more fair to say you expected him to do a lot of thinking rather than saying you had a strong opinion on his relationship to the activity. He was just always one of the quiet, reserved ones. He seemed to enjoy reading too. And you know it’s a stereotype to think of him as a thinker, but it’s one he seemed to fit well.

“I do,” he hesitates, then frowns, “But it was easier there.”

“Easier? I think you’d have way more to think about right now?” you pry when he’s quiet for too long. You don’t push, though.

“Easier in the technical sense,” he sighs, falling silent again, but there remains space for more words to be said.

You can almost hear the cogs turning in his head, purely metaphorically of course. You give him the time to think and get started on your second round of marshmallows before he speaks up again.

“I always - back then, I always thought about staying true to myself,” he starts slowly, “I was always treated a certain way. I woke up into this body, and this life, and was told certain things.”

"And the building blocks of me too. Serenity? Pandemonium? The more automatons and people I met, I was sure those just represented us and humans. I wanted to be true to myself," he repeats, "I thought since no one will ever see me as more than a machine, I might as well embrace it."

"And how was it?" you ask, inching just slightly closer. You never thought you'd get TH38 to open up like this. He smiles.

"Peaceful, just as I thought," but then he continues with a note of bitterness in his voice. "You saw it, all of it. I was just a machine doing its job. It was easy. To focus on performing, on practice, to have the talks with you and answer like I thought was expected of me. I miss it a little.”

“It was satisfying. A simple pleasure of doing my job well. I think you understand that,” he looks at you and you realize finally that you’ve been leaning towards him, but whatever. You nod.

“So that’s why you’ve always acted like that? Because you chose to be a machine?” 

“Have to use my free will wisely,” he giggles - he fucking giggles - before he shrugs and gets more serious again, “I really liked it in a way. I thought I could be satisfied with that.”

Your head is still trying to process the incredible amount of research data you’re getting and you have to work really hard not to slip into work mode. You will listen to him like you would listen to a human with a completely different set of experiences, or like you would listen to one of the aliens sharing their galaxies with you. You will listen like you’d listen to a friend sharing their burden with you. 

And you won’t analyze every single sound he makes even if they shatter your perception of him that you had until that moment.

“The others were ruining it a lot for me,” he admits quietly after a minute. It’s almost wistful. “I liked to watch them even if I really wanted to play around with them. They seemed so different from me. It was my choice, but in those moments I guess I felt a lot like you.”

You nod for him to continue when he meets your eyes, almost cautiously.

“I observed them. Studied them. I think it was the serenity code inside, I found happiness just from watching them being happy,” he smiles a little, “But I was also wondering if that was really alright. If it would be alright for me to behave like that.”

“Watching people made me feel different things. They were going crazy over us,” and suddenly he has that distant look in his eyes again, staring out into the fire, “I was scared of it. I was scared of being like them and letting myself be controlled by emotions. I think I pushed everything away so hard that it exploded when 5.C0UP5 told us to run.”

“Breaking out inside and out, huh?” you note and oops, your marshmallows burned. It’s not like you’re in the mood for eating them anymore anyway.

“You made it really hard,” he says but it sounds like he’s scolding you, “Giving me all the books.”

You smirk. Then you decide - to hell with it. He volunteered so much information that perhaps he deserves to receive some back.

“That was the point,” you shrug, “To make being just a machine hard for you.”

It seems he wasn’t expecting to hear you admit it, or hear anything personal from you, but now that you started he’s watching you with curious eyes and longing look. You think about these last few days again. It’s true that they’ve been mostly like what they were back at the facility.

He deserves more than that.

“It was one of the reasons I was brought to the facility. I broke some rules back at my previous station, pushed buttons I shouldn’t have, and it was getting dangerous. It was decided it’d be better if my actions wouldn’t have such large-scale consequences,” you huff a laugh, “But look where we are.”

“What were you doing before?” 

You’ll need to work on getting him more confident asking questions. 

“That’s a secret,” you wink at him, and you recognize the look as the one you must’ve been wearing when he giggled. Seems like both of you will need to get used to each other’s humanity. “I was working on research at a different division. Mostly my work was trying to push forward with more possible advancements for the automatons on a theoretical level. But I don’t miss it much. I always enjoyed working with you more.”

“Why me? I mean, did they tell you about me or did you get to choose?” he asks, and for some reason you’d love to see what he’d do if you lied and told him you chose him.

“I wasn’t the only one who noticed you were different from the others,” you smile instead, “When they confirmed there was nothing with your code, they started looking into other options of dealing with your case. It just so happened that I was recommended to join the researchers working with your band at the same time.”

“Happy coincidence?” he smirks but you nod, taking him by surprise. 

“I enjoyed working with you, Eight,” you shorten his name-that’s-not-a-name and watch him shift on his spot, “It was fun. I had a lot of privileges that I could use - like the books, and the videos, stuff like that.”

“Seems like you’re suggesting you were spoiling me,” he grumbles.

“Wasn’t I?” you smirk, “How many of the others do you think had access to basically a private library?”

“There weren't many real books,” he throws you a cheeky look from the corner of his eye. You do appreciate he's getting less guarded around you, but you hate the whiplash.

"Imagine if I'd spoil you for real," you scoff. He squints at you before pushing on your shoulder slightly, carefully, as if he's hesitating the entire time. It's your turn, for the first time ever, to give him a scandalized look. He chuckles.

"You said touch is important," he explains softly, "The others always used to push each other. I think… I think we could be close, right? Since it's just the two of us for now."

You give him a long look. It's true that, after all, there's no reason for you to treat him like a stranger. Sure, it's a little awkward all things considered - not least of all the fact that while you watched him to the point it could be called an obsession, he knew you to a very limited extend - but as he said, it's just the two of you now. And unless you wanna get caught, it would be that way for a while.

"Friends?" you suggest experimentally, he shakes his head with lips turned upwards in a dangerous teasing tilt.

"I don't know you well enough for that," he's just playing around but it's a nice change so you'll allow it, "Tell me more about yourself."

So you do. There’s little to tell other than your work, but he doesn’t comment on it and doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, he seems invested. It’s a nice change to speak for once with someone who doesn’t get concerned because of your severe lack of social life. Maybe you should’ve been befriending automatons a long time ago. 

Unlike before, he seems relaxed conversing with you. Gradually, he gets more comfortable asking questions. It’s easy to fall into the rhythm of using sarcasm or teasing to deflect questions you don’t want answering, and it’s surprising how naturally it comes to him as well.

The night is turning into morning when the fire dies and you agree to go back inside. Well, it’s less that you agree on it than you tell TH38 quite sternly that you’re not at the stage of your relationship where you’d feel comfortable with him lying on your shoulder and dragging him home twice in a day. He pouts (which, again, you need time to process).

Still, you have to admit that it feels kind of good that you have someone accompany you while you walk to your room.

Come morning, it still feels like a dream. So you take extra time to simply lie in bed and think. You're pretty happy with how things turned out. You mull over what the automaton told you. It was a strange way to live one's life. Did he really think he could be happy with just that? You've read enough about history, fiction and articles, to know that, ultimately, it seldom works out this simple way of life. Maybe if all TH38 could do was work, maybe if he had to fear for his life... Or maybe if you didn't keep pushing onto him stuff to think about. Not that it matters anymore.

Funny enough, you meet the moment you step out of the door. You exchange greetings and share a look. You both know you're both usually up much earlier.

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

The following days go well enough.

You fall into a nice routine of getting to know each other and getting used to no longer being a researcher and a subject. A lot of the barriers between you get torn by this change. You spend your time willingly with each other as if you were always roommates.

Today, too, TH38 keeps you company during breakfast but he seems eager to get up and do something the whole time. Definitely unusual, though he’s always more than eager to explore the woods with you. Then again, never before did he spend the whole time waiting. He doesn’t talk much, he spaces out and nearly jumps out of his chair anytime it seems you might be done with your breakfast. It gets to the point that you have to call him out on it.

"Is something bothering you?" you ask, setting your spoon aside with one hand and laying the other on his shoulder to immediately push him back down to sit.. He looks caught. 

"Can we go out today?" he asks, already looking into the trees through the window.

"We’re always going out. Besides nothing is stopping you from going alone," you mention, but the twitching of your lips betrays you. He pursues his lips and you begin to wonder if he knows it makes you - well, not necessarily uncomfortable but you'll have to get used to it.

"Are you not afraid I'll run off?" and while it's not an unreasonable question... 

"Where would you go?" you ask without missing a beat. And there comes the frown again. "Maybe you should be worried I'll leave you here all on your own."

"What if we stopped?" he sighs and it seems that he's genuinely bothered. 

Sometimes he gets like that suddenly. While you might be getting along better now, there’s still room for improvement. It’s easy enough to make him snap, even though he’s been getting better. During the escape he wasn’t really violent either. He left some bruises, but his intention wasn’t to hurt you, and you never held it against him. 

You’ve noticed the pattern of his behavior. Those weird states mostly overcome him when he’s overwhelmed with emotions. Which explains the first snap - he must’ve been so exhausted it was only a matter of time. He’s never got physical with you again, though he seems fond of making you think he will or backing you into a corner or against something when he's behavior flips.

You wonder where that comes from but he doesn’t have any idea either - not to mention he doesn’t feel entirely comfortable discussing those episodes and delving deeper into what he's feeling. Perhaps it’s the force of a habit - something you both eventually agreed on after many discussions, and afterall it takes one to know one. Try as you might, it’s hard not to analyze him, not to ask pointed questions that would only serve the purpose of researching how his brain works and what makes him tick. And you really don’t want that for him anymore. Though you do dearly miss your job. That’s why you’ve been spending most of your time studying from the old notes in your room and the books to keep your mind stimulated. 

So for now, instead of analyzing why it hurts him to imagine being abandoned, you try to relate to his situation. He finally escaped what basically was a prison only to find himself all alone, with little knowledge as to how the world outside functions. Not to mention he's a fugitive and one bad step could land him back at the facility or worse. He lost his friends, lost his purpose - worse yet, he gave up on the purpose he chose for himself. He’s already so uprooted that maybe it’d truly be best to refrain from making jokes and teasing him about certain topics. Although…

"You started it," you point out, "But sure, let's be adults about this."

"So you're going with me, right?” he circles back to the beginning. It's been a while since someone wanted to be in your company so willingly. Not that he has other options. 

"I’m going, don’t worry," you agree, "Is there any reason why you insist on it?" 

He thinks for a bit, and you note that he's biting his lip in yet another expression of very human-like behavior. He turns a little shyer after a minute. 

"I don't feel comfortable being out there alone. And I hoped maybe you know of some new spot we haven’t been to yet?” 

Something about this feels both so right and so wrong. The automaton is watching you with such a soft expression on his face, a little hopeful it seems. He’s relaxed, you’re relaxed, and it feels comfortable. Two friends on vacation planning their trip for a day. But that’s also what’s throwing you off. You’re too used to being alone - and you thought that’s how you could live forever, be alone and thrive. Only now you realize it’s not a bad feeling at all to have someone to spend your days with, to share a life with - to an extent. 

The irony in this isn’t lost on you.

“I think I remember one,” you hum, “But I’m not sure I remember the way. We might get lost.”

“You don’t have to take me there if it’s a special place,” he reassures you, although his excitement at the prospect of wandering through the forest is impossible to hide. It’s cute. Which is a thought that’s been reappearing in your mind for days now, and maybe that’s not a bad thing.

“I appreciate that, but I told you already that there’s not much special to me here,” you assure him in turn. He’s like a sponge, soaking up all the information he can get - about the world, nature, you, anything. It’s really heartwarming he remembers too, and how mindful he’s trying to be. More than half the humans you’ve met, which is… perhaps not all that surprising.

“Shall we go then?” he prompts you, jumping up from his chair and pulling on your hand to get you to stand up too. You let him pull you up, rolling your eyes.

“Did you miss the part where I said we might get lost?” you chuckle. His excitement was just like that of a child - strangely infectious.

“That’s why we’re leaving early,” he explains to you, slowly, and you’re sure he knows by now how much it annoys you, “So we have time to explore and find the spot.”

Annoying or not, though, you can’t say no.

The journey starts off as usual - almost.

He must know the forest in the closest circle around the cottage by heart by now, but he still seems enchanted by it. Despite his earlier bursts of energy, however, he’s quiet as you walk. It’s nothing too out of the ordinary, but you learned to be cautious. 

“Hey, is something wrong?” you ask carefully when you stop to admire the way sunrays seep through the trees to illuminate a clover patch on the ground. He doesn’t respond. That’s more concerning as he generally tends to tell you when he doesn’t feel like talking. You have a feeling it’s to prevent him from having another outburst, so if he’s not doing that, it might mean something’s seriously wrong. He continues forward before you can speak up again. 

“Hey,” you follow after him - curse his long legs and speed. You think back to all the times you’ve thought he’s like a lost puppy following his owner with a scoff. You don’t like the roles being switched. “What’s going on with you?”

You don’t like repeating yourself. You don’t like not knowing. And you especially don’t like feeling clingy.

“What the fuck, Eig-”

“You’re just like them,” he turns suddenly, making you stumble and nearly bump into his chest. You frown, not understanding who does he mean by them in this lack of context. He sets his jaw like he wants to shut up but then the words spill and you recognize all the signs. “I’m quiet for a couple minutes and everyone's all like ‘Minghao you need to speak up’ and ‘mind your screentime, Minghao’ - how about you leave me alone?”

He’s growling, again trying to make himself as tall and towering as he can. His eyes betray him, though. He is getting better at holding himself back. While you’d oppose that in most other cases, self-control is an important skill for a person to have - especially when strong emotions hit. You read this one as anxiety.

“No need to snap at me, Minghao,” you click your tongue. You make sure to look him in the eye while you say the name. “Just say you want to be left alone.”

This time it’s you walking away. You take the few seconds of silence you have before you know he’ll snap out of it to collect your thoughts. It was only a matter of time before this would happen - before the question of names would pop up. Him picking out a name for himself makes it easier. You heard some of the others also used some sort of nicknames, even if no one ever mentioned TH38, Minghao, among them and neither did he ask you to call him anything but the name the facility assigned him. You wonder how he came up with it, but seeing as it’s still a sensitive topic, you’re gonna leave that conversation for another time.

And here come the steps…

What you don’t expect is to feel a weight on your back, or the warmth seeping through your shirt. You don’t expect the arms around your waist either - or that they would tremble. Nor do you expect the soft, quiet ‘thank you’ that fans across your skin as he speaks those words before removing himself from you. You hesitate for a bit. In just one second, you feel like you need to choose the best course of action. You don’t want to analyze him. You don’t want to think about this like part of your job or rehabilitation or therapy for him.

So you walk on, although you slow down significantly, waiting for him to catch up. He’s still shaking when he does, and his eyes betray how vulnerable he feels.

You meet his gaze from the corner of your eye and tilt your head. He did say he wants to be left alone, so you will respect it until he talks. Which only takes him a little while.

“You almost left me there,” he half-whines, quietly. If he won’t address it, neither will you.

“You’re being dramatic,” you shake your head. It doesn’t seem to have the effect you wanted, however. “Want me to hold your hand,” you tease a little before adding in a softer voice, “Minghao?”

He beams in that soft glow that he radiates when he’s happy. (Not literally.) The one that tugs at your rigid heartstrings.

“You’re too shy to try that,” he pushes right back. Although it’s a challenge, you don’t need to take on every single one. 

In a strange turn of events, you do end up taking his hand anyways. You hold his hand that feels like it belongs in yours and you see that he needs a second to process the feeling as well.

Then he slips and if it wasn’t for you holding his hand, he’d be sitting on his ass. 

You help him get back his balance and join you on the rock you’re standing on. He’s not looking at you anymore, as he wasn’t for a while now, and you decide that it’s best you keep watching over him until he’s not distracted even if it means holding his hand until you get back home. The sacrifices you have to make to keep him safe…

You turn back forward and smile, memories flashing briefly through your mind. Back when you saw the waterfall for the first time, you were just as distracted and reckless. The deafening sound of it, the pure strength behind the rushing, foaming water is enough to take your breath away even now. You had a feeling Minghao would love it.

And he does - he seems so taken by it that it makes you wonder if it would be safer to carry him. He keeps slipping since he barely pays any mind to where he’s stepping and it takes you threatening to leave, dragging him with you, for him to promise to be more careful. Never before did he obey your orders so quickly. Not even back at the facility, and that’s saying a lot.

After a couple more close calls you finally find a piece of land that’s stable and dry enough to stand on and enjoy the view. Minghao is absolutely mesmerized by the waterfall, lips hanging slightly open and eyes glued to the scene. If you’re staring at him instead of the natural wonder, then it’s only so he doesn’t hurl himself into the water.

“Careful or you’ll fall in and drown,” you warn him when, coincidentally, he does absent-mindedly take a step forward and panics when he feels the ground squish and give way under his foot.

“You’d catch me,” he says with certainty that makes something in your stomach twist, “And we’d be miserable and soaked to the bone.”

“Don’t underestimate the water,” you warn him, “It’s pretty deep and I’m not a strong swimmer. We’d just drown together and that’s not a way to go that I’d choose.”

That makes him turn to you with an unreadable expression. He studies you for a moment before turning back towards the waterfall. There’s a new focus in his gaze as his eyes follow the water. It’s not unlike when he’s watching the flames dance while you’re having a bonfire. You wonder if the thoughts running through his mind differ. 

You spend some more there before he asks you to go back.

He stays quiet for most of the way, but you let him. He’s got that far-off look in his eyes that’s a dead giveaway that it wouldn’t be wise to talk to him now. When he calls your name, it's not surprising what he wants to talk about. 

“Is there any?” he hesitates, "Way you'd want to die?"

If you didn't know better, you'd think he was scared. And maybe you truly don't, so you approach the topic just as carefully.

"I think most people do," you explain, "It's probably not like that for you, but for people death is a big deal. We tend to think about it sometimes."

"Why?" his throat bobs as he swallows in a new useless but human behavior.

"It's the one thing we can't choose," you smile, and it seems that your relaxed demeanor calms him.

“You may choose death any second you wish,” he murmurs quietly, walking side by side with you. Something about the topic makes the treetops, swaying in the wind above, look greener.

“But what if I mean the opposite,” you counter and this time you don’t look at him. If he notices the difference, he doesn’t comment on it.

“Immortality, hm?” he breathes in deeply, filling his lungs with the fresh pine-scented air, “Interesting.” 

"Anyway, you at least have the choice," you sigh, more exasperated by the robot who likely won't be able to get your point than the talk of your own inevitable mortality, "I don't. If nothing else, time will make the decision for me."

"Do I?" he muses, aloof in his contemplation as always albeit there's a hint of mirth to his voice.

"All it will take for you to live forever is some maintenance, maybe a couple hardware and software updates," you shrug, "And even if I'm gone and the situation doesn't get better, I bet there are people who'd be willing to help you out. You get to choose whether to live or die."

He mulls the idea over with a hint of a smirk that only seems to grow each second.

"Constant updates and replacements, huh?" he huffs, "Didn't you humans come up with the question about the boat that has all its parts replaced?"

You have to admit it takes you a while, but when it clicks, your eyes get wide and your mouth falls open.

"How do you know about the ship of Theseus?"

"What, did you expect me to be an ignorant mesh of wires and artificial tissue? After all the books you gave me access to?" he scoffs, looking almost offended.

"Well, no, but I also haven't expected to hear about ancient Greek philosophical problems from you," you concede. Maybe you shouldn't be as surprised as you are. After all, Minghao has always been very interested in reading. Almost as much as you’ve been interested in seeing the effect fantasy would have on his artificial brain. But that's long in the past.

"Why have me read those books if you never cared to discuss them with me?" he asks like it's been bothering him for a while now.

"Our sessions were always recorded. I had certain privileges, but most of them weren't for all the higher ups to know about," you shrug, "And after a while I was sure you wouldn't mention anything on your own."

"You trusted me a lot, hm?" he smirks, "Was that why you ran away with me?"

You huff, roll your eyes. He does seem genuinely curious though. You're not sure you want to answer. 

"Did you fall for me?" he moves to walk in front of you, "That's what they made us for."

"We both know why I went with you," you sigh, pushing on his shoulder and he steps aside easily, falling back in step with you. He has a small smile on his face. Maybe you should’ve teased him and said yes. The good vibes don’t last for too long. You can feel the shift in the air.

"Do you regret it?"

You're not brave enough to look at him. The tone of his voice is enough.

"No, I don't," you answer honestly, "I think this is good for both of us."

This time it's not you holding his hand, but him squeezing yours.

It feels nice.

You squeeze back.

Your suspicion that he was bothered by the fact that you never discussed the literature you provided him access to is proven correct not too long afterwards. 

It’s raining outside, the humid air blows in through the open windows as you eat dinner in silence. Minghao joins you at some point and he seems nervous. You give him the time to collect his thoughts until he’s ready to talk.

He starts off casually, with small talk completely unrelated to the real issue but you don’t push him. Honestly you’re happy even if he’s clearly having a lot of emotions, he’s not snapping at you. You also have to stop yourself for the nth time from making a list of human behavior you discover each day as right now he’s fidgeting with his fingers, picking at a frayed thread of the tablecloth.

Then, finally, he asks the question - could you talk about the books?

“Unless you haven’t read them, of course,” he adds quickly, suddenly flustered by your curious gaze.

“I mean you never told me which ones you’ve read,” you grin, and you find yourself enjoying him squirming in front of you, here and now, when you know the anxiety stems from wanting to be understood and to make a connection instead of uncertainty about the future. Not for the first time you find the automaton cute. “I haven’t read all the books I gave you access to, but I read most of them, so try your luck. Which ones were your favorite?”

He relaxes, his features soften as well. He props his elbow on the table and leans his head against his palm.

“This isn’t one of our interviews,” he reminds you playfully, “Which ones are yours?”

You laugh but you’ll give him this one. You answer and he asks another question, prodding for more information like you usually would. It’s not what you expected, but you play along. Unlike you back then, he carefully checks in with you if this is okay - his eyes find yours and he tilts his head, his fingers brush against yours or he gently touches your knee - and he actively participates in the conversation and discussion. 

You wonder if things would be different if this was the approach you used in the facility. If you treated him more like a human and less like a guinea pig, a new prototype or a petri dish. And he must’ve noticed because when you part ways at the top of the stairs, way too late into the night, or rather early morning, after many hours spent talking, he suddenly stops you before you can leave to your room and says: “This wouldn’t work. I wouldn’t work with you like that.”

“I know,” you acknowledge, “The higher-ups wouldn’t let me work like this either. Not with you.”

When he reaches for your hand, you take it. You don’t know if he finds comfort in the gentle squeeze you share before parting for real this time, but you think you might.

Out of the many issues and unspoken things you need to address, the wound in Minghao’s chest remains to be the top priority. He doesn’t mention it often, except in passing when even the bandage fails and it catches on the frayed artificial tissue. He seems embarrassed about it in a way that you know all too well. You also hate asking for help, also hate when you need to be taken care of.

So you sit him down one day and make him take his shirt off again, rolling your eyes - again - at the teasing remarks he tries to hide the flush crawling up his skin. It’s getting easier not to wonder about why they had to be made this human-like.

“I’m fine!” he full-on whines when you try to touch the edges of the wound, slapping your hands away. You heave a sigh, hands on your hips. 

“Listen, buddy-” you start but your words die into laughter at the offended look Minghao sends you.

“Minghao,” you try again, and he nods for you to continue, “We can’t just keep it like that. It hurts.”

“Yeah but only sometimes. And you already said you can’t help,” he shrugs, “Besides it’s just me who’s hurting.”

You do understand that. You’ve used the same excuse too. But he’s not you.

On the other hand, he is right. He let you look at the wound before and it seems like while he did a pretty good job of tearing the device out of his chest, some of the nerve-like wires remained meshed in the surrounding tissue and that’s what’s causing the pain. You can’t imagine doing the extraction yourself. Perhaps back at the beginning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to cause him so much pain now. 

…Honestly you sometimes wonder who out of you two needs training in how to be a human.

You stay silent for a while, having a short staring contest before you run your hand through your hair and accept your defeat. At least to some extent.

“Friends care for each other,” you inform him before removing the bandage from his body before securing it around his torso again, a little tighter just to keep all the peeling pieces pressed together. He hisses in pain but stays still. It seems he’s more occupied by processing your words than by the pain. “So let me care for you, hm? You might not die but let’s keep you functioning for as long as we can.”

He scoffs but ends up smiling anyway.

“I think you should be more worried about taking care of yourself. I don’t think the food you keep eating here is exactly healthy,” he’s teasing, you know, but something about it seems honest too.

“Maybe, but it’s easier to just add water and heat it up than get the ingredients, prepare them, cook, wash up, and all that jazz,” you defend your supply of instant foods. Although it’s true that your stock is beginning to run low and you probably will need to go shopping soon. You dread it, but at the same time you have a feeling Minghao might enjoy a little trip further away from the cottage.

“I can help,” he offers, “If you show me how.”

“Seems like you want to keep me around for a long time,” you dismiss the offer just so you don’t have to pay attention to how hopeful his voice sounded or how attentively he was watching you. You hope he’ll bicker with you, tease you, push back with more snark, but he doesn’t. He simply smiles and lets you finish the work on his bandages.

If your hands tremble and each fleeting touch against his body lingers, neither of you mention it.

It almost seems like Minghao’s been waiting to use your words against you when a couple days later he joins you under the roof of the patio while the storm is raging only a few meters away, drenching the ground with rain. He brings your favorite tea set with you. 

He’s noticed your love for tea, has often asked you to describe the various kinds of it and the flavors, but you never thought it’d come to this.

He sets it all down - the bottle of water, the kettle and the pack of your favorite tea leaves, the glass teapot, and the dark clay one and matching cups - and it surprises you to see he brought two cups. It makes you confused until you notice the tea pet and it gives you a pretty good idea of what he’s planning. You don’t comment on the red hue collecting on the tips of his ears. 

“Friends care for each other,” he murmurs while he sits down next to you. He looks at you and moves closer, your knees bumping together. When you don’t move away, he relaxes and focuses on the tea.

He pours the water into the kettle and lets it boil. You notice he set it to stop at the exact temperature he wants - that the tea requires. He measures the right amount of tea leaves for the teapot he picked while it boils, and when the water is done he first fills the cups and the teapots with the hot water. Then he pours it out before gently placing the tea leaves into the clay teapot and pouring the hot water in again. Almost straight away, he pours the tea into the glass one. 

You watch him and notice he seems nervous. So you decide to make it worse, or comfort him, whatever will be the effect. You put your hand on his knee carefully, startling him regardless. He looks worried before you smile at him: “You’re doing good so far.”

He seems reassured, giving you a grateful smile himself as he pours the first infusion over the little clay frog sitting at the corner of the tea tray. The next infusion he pours into the cups and hands you one, almost dropping it when your fingers brush together.

“Thank you,” you hum, “You’re a fast learner.”

“I just had enough chances to see you do it,” he shakes his head before nodding towards the tea leaves, “I just wasn’t sure I picked the right kind. I noticed you don’t wash all of them.”

“You did. I would help if there was a need but you’re a natural,” you praise, watching as his ears turn redder.

“And you don’t mind if I pretend with you like this?” he swirls the tea in his cup. He won’t look at you, so you make him. Slowly, you move closer to him until you can lay your head on his shoulder. It’s a light touch, he can move away if he wants to. He doesn’t, although his body gets tense.

“Why would I mind?” you say and realize just how comfortable you feel in this moment, “Isn’t this the perfect mood to sit here like this?”

Finally he melts just a little, leaning his head against yours, featherlight and cautious. You’d never guess he’d be this affectionate once comfortable, but lately it feels like his true personality is coming out more and more and you can’t say you dislike it. He doesn’t say anything, instead he leans closer again and rubs his head against yours, just for a second.

You take a sip of the tea and you hate to admit that his exact measurements make it taste better than when you prepare it. It doesn’t happen that you smile without realizing, but since leaving the facility, well, it seems like a lot of things are changing.

When you finish your cup and set it down on the tray again, he quietly pours the content of his cup over the little frog. Somehow it reminds you of him a little.

· • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —–· · • —– ٠ ✧ ٠ —– • ·

Time passes.

You start to lose track of days and they blend together seamlessly. Has it been months? Years? Who knows. Minghao probably does, but he couldn’t care less. He only mentions the time since the breakout whenever you readjust the bandages on his chest. It almost seems like he’s healing, the compression seems to work a little even on the artificial tissue, although you know that until the remaining wires of the communication device are removed, it will always remain a trouble. He reassures you it’s alright every time and you learn to trust him to express himself truthfully.

He started exploring the outside on his own too. It seems to help him tremendously with dealing with… well, everything. It takes time, you know, and fortunately that’s the one thing that you have in abundance now. Nonetheless, he always seems to appreciate your company, be it on the walks, inside, or on the trips you take sometimes. Usually it’s only to the village to get new supplies of food, but you both remain cautious and even that fills you with adrenaline - among other things.

The locals really make you realize just how indistinguishable from a human Minghao looks. You doubt any of them recognize him for what he truly is, and maybe that’s in part why he always prefers to spend time alone after each of these trips. The highlight for you personally is the older lady who you buy vegetables from that seems to think of you two as the new married couple that just moved in. You make it a competition to see who gets flustered first, though there’s really no shame in losing. Not when Minghao cups your face and squishes your cheeks or hugs you when you begin to stutter - not when you mess with his hair or hold his hand when he’s lost for words.

Life is peaceful.

You think some parts of you are healing, just as Minghao is. He’s getting better at understanding that there’s chaos within peace and peace to be found amidst chaos. He’s learning to experience the emotions he’s suppressed for so long, the good and bad, to let them pass through even if it’s scary and uncomfortable. You try to be helpful. You give him space when he needs it, you talk if that’s what he needs, or let him lay his head on your lap or shoulder if he’s too scared to be left alone with the pandemonium inside his mind.

There are good days and there are bad days. Yet you both grow to be grateful for both.

And there are cold days and warm days too, and on the warm ones, you sometimes sleep outside.

It’s something you’ve never done before and something you now know you'd miss terribly if you could never do it again. Minghao loves it. His excitement remains infectious, which probably adds to your fondness for the warm nights on Silvestre.

Especially nights like this one when there’s not a cloud in the sky and the stars shine brightly above you. The galaxy expands above your heads and it makes you think of the past, of the future, and you understand why the automaton used to be so wary of emotions. They’re overwhelming for you too.

“If they ever catch us, what will you tell them?” Minghao breaks the silence. It’s not often that you talk about the facility anymore, but when you do it’s almost exclusively in whispers under the stars.

“Hm… Depends,” you hum.

“Depends on what?” he turns his head towards you.

“Depends on what will be most likely to get them to allow me to stay and keep working with you,” you mirror his action, “If that means telling them the whole truth about how you’ve done here, I will do that. If that means lying a little, then so be it.”

“Will you tell them the truth about the escape too?” he smirks. But you’re more than ready for the challenge.

“I will them them you kidnapped me.”

“I didn’t-”

“I will them you used force to make me come with you.”

“I didn’t!” he shoots up, sitting upright and looking at you, upset and distressed, “I didn’t have to, you went willingly!”

“I told you,” you smirk, shrugging, “I will tell them what I need to tell them to keep my job.”

Seeing as he remains upset, however, you reach out for him and stroke his arm. He gives you a wary look, one that he always gives you when you brush against a nerve. You smile apologetically at him, brushing some of his hair behind his ear. He scoffs, lying back down with his arms crossed over his chest. “Anything to keep your job but not to keep me.”

“That would suggest I had you in the first place,” your lips stretch further, teasing lilt finding its way into your voice as Minghao freezes and avoids your gaze, “Does this count as a confession, Haohao?” 

“Shut up,” he grumbles. You don’t listen.

“Besides, you are my job. Unless you want to be my pet, my-” you don’t get to offer him other alternatives as he springs from his spot and leans over you, holding himself up with one hand on either side of your body, kneeling next to you.

“Your?” he quirks a brow at you. It’s much harder to stand your ground when he drops the shy act, or maybe just puts on this confident one, but you do anyway.

“What would you like to be, hm? Give me some ideas,” you hum. He sighs, deliberately letting his head fall lover until his hair tickles your skin.

“I would like to be listened to,” he suggests, making you laugh. 

“We’re friends now, aren’t we? Friends push each other’s buttons,” you chide playfully. You feel comfortable. Even with him hovering above you, you feel safe and content. It’s unreal that not so long ago this would be unthinkable. 

“I don’t think we’re friends,” and it’s only the statement, plain and simple. You smile. You really do feel comfortable. It’s a new feeling. And it’s refreshing.

“Isn’t there enough unspoken things between us as is?” you don’t tease anymore. 

“So you have a name for this?” he tilts his head, his smile mirroring yours because he knows you don’t. You admit your defeat with a shake of your head and don’t push him off when he lies down again, only this time with his head resting on your stomach. You’re nice enough to run your fingers through his hair too. He leans into your touch in appreciation.

You stay silent, watching the stars twinkling above. You like this. You could stay like this, you think, and live your life satisfied and happy. But could you? Isn’t that what you both thought before too? Maybe there’s danger here that you’re just not seeing yet. You don’t want to lose this. Then again, it’s not like you can find the answer and the solution at this very moment. Not when you’re distracted by how soft Minghao’s hair feels between your fingers and the feeling of his fingers playing with yours when he inevitably searches for your hand. Maybe it’s about time you came to terms with the fact that he’s right - you’d rather keep him than any job.

You think about where the future could take you until your eyes close and you fall asleep.

There must be some sort of telepathy connecting you two because he brings up the future himself some time later.

You sit down and discuss everything: Are the people at the facility still looking for you? Is there a chance they could find you here? Does anyone remember him anymore - would they recognize him? Is there anywhere else you could go?

There are endless questions and very few answers. Plenty of books and a projector with what seems like an endless supply of old movies and shows are great for entertainment, but suck at providing information about the current situation across your solar system. 

So you work with the worst scenarios each time.

It doesn’t matter much because the outcome you agree on would likely be the same in any case - you can’t stay here forever.

Minghao seems as mournful about it as you feel but you can’t run away from the truth forever. Just because nobody should know about this and nobody bothered you here yet doesn’t mean it will never happen. Not to mention the other factors.

“I wanna see more,” Minghao admits quietly, his hands playing with yours to ease his anxiety, “I like it here. But I’m afraid I’ll feel trapped again if we stay.”

You nod. That’s true, of course. And you can understand his desire to see more - to learn more. It’s one of the things you have in common.

“Do you have anywhere you want to explore?” you ask, supportive as can be because he needs it. Because you want this too.

“Does your family have any other secret mansion?” he might be teasing, but you know he hopes you’ll say yes. It would make things much easier.

“No,” you sigh, then you smile, “So that means we’re completely free. If we have nowhere to go, we might as well go anywhere.”

He might’ve changed quite a bit, yet the soft glow of his happiness never did. He lets his body fall forward and curl against yours. You chuckle and wrap an arm around him.

“I like the sound of that,” he whispers, nuzzling into your shoulder. 

“Me too,” you feel a flutter in your chest. It’s like you’re a child again, being told you’re going on a trip but the destination is a surprise. It’s like you’re back at the facility, before you knew any better, being told you’re going to work with a level 1 automaton but you won’t know which one until Monday. “Let’s do some research and get going?”

“Yeah,” he hums against your skin, “But only after one last night outside. I can’t leave before that.”

Now that’s a sentiment you can relate to.

[wongyuseokie]

Neural Networks | l.s.m

Summary:  The Escape allowed Dokyeom to gain a new life, one full of feelings. When he meets you when you save him, he experiences all of them - but did you? Strange things start happening once Dokyeom meets you. You embrace him, love him, and protect him. But when the dust from the chaos settles, Dokyeom can't help but doubt you. You have needs different from his. It's almost as if you're not like him at all. ☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ♕ smut |  ☁︎ angst | ♥ completed works Word Count:  9165 words Pairings: AI/Robot!Lee Seokmin x Cyborg!Female Reader Genre/Trope(s)/AUs: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Sci-Fi AU! Content Warnings: Main character death, torture (nothing graphic but mentions), fighting, mentions of injuries, arguing, yelling, talks of betrayal, lots of deception and betrayal. Heavy angst, very mild fluff. Alternate universes. Smut Warnings: Unprotected sex? But they are bots, so idk, oral sex (m & f receiving), and multiple orgasms. Water sex. Kissing. Authors Note 1: Here it is my fic for the Seventeen sci-fi fic collab hosted by the wonderful @idyllic-ghost, check out all the other amazing fics here, this is my first time writing something in this genre, like it's a whole new world. So I hope y'all enjoy. ❤️ Authors Note 2: Thank you so much to the following @savventeen, @strawberryya @the-boy-meets-evil @idyllic-ghost @here4kpopfics @onlymingyus for listening to me go on and on about this and being so patient about this entire story. ❤️ Authors Note 3: Extra special thank you to @idyllic-ghost for being so patient and kind and wonderful, giving me so many hits and tips and ideas with this fic, you've been so lovely and wonderful and I adore you dearly ❤️. Thank you also to @here4kpopfics for beta'ing this fic for me, ilysm my soulmate. ❤️ © wongyuseokie 2023. All rights reserved.

Prologue

“100 years ago, it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was. None of the planets in our former solar system was ever destroyed. The Earth and the other planets were pushed away from each other and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight. However, the aliens were welcoming to our planet. Those who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens were welcomed into the new solar system. Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister planets in exchange for human labour. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens, we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automaton, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t. Eventually, there was no need for human labour at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be. At present, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities. The Automaton music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN) comprises 13 members, all very talented, and all representing two human states of mind.”

Dokyeom ran as fast as his legs would allow him. He had long legs, which often aided him when trying to run, but tonight? The escape tested his stamina and strength, and he was failing. He was close to escaping; he just had a couple more steps, but a tug on his leg stopped him. 

Dokeyom sighed. He didn’t want to help. He knew he would have to move to make it out. Now, this individual was going to hinder him. 

“Please,” the voice spoke again, and Dokyeom let out a pained sigh as he kneeled to help the injured being. 

“What happened?” Dokyeom asked, and a pained expression greeted him; you welcomed him. 

“I fell, and it’s bad, and I can’t get up. If I can’t escape, they’ll kill me!” You cried out, and Dokyeom let out a breath. You weren’t his problem, but if Dokyeom left you, you’d die alone here. 

Dokyeom, deep down, wanted to help. Something told him that he was kind before everything. Dokyeom often had dreams that told him he was kind, loving, warm, and always had a big smile instead of the permanent scowl he wears nowadays. He wasn’t too sure if the dream meant anything, but sometimes he wondered if that dream was ever once his reality. His memories were always fuzzy, but this dream was always a constant. He recalls being told he was sunshine, and something about your pain triggered that faint memory for him. 

“Okay, I’ll pick you up and run for it. No funny business, or I’ll let you go and let you be killed, understood?” Dokyeom warned. 

“Understood.” 

Dokyeom took a deep breath before leaning forward, picking you up, and throwing you onto his shoulder. “Hold tight; don’t let go until we escape,” Dokyeom instructed. You mumbled a ‘yes,’ and that’s all it took for Dokyeom to start running. 

Dokyeom wasn’t sure how long he was running for; all he knew was that he ran as fast as his legs allowed him, and now that he had you to take care of as well, he had to run faster than ever. 

“Ow!” You yelped when Dokyeom dropped you on the ground suddenly. 

“I just saved your life. I think you can handle being dropped on your ass,” Dokyeom sassed. 

“Wait, we escaped?” You asked, sitting up and looking around. “Where are we?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but we’re safe for now,” Dokyeom answered as he sat beside you. 

“What’s your name?” You asked. 

“Dokyeom, what about you?” He asked. 

“Uh, um, Y/N,” you mumbled. 

“Why’d you hesitate?” Dokyeom questioned, eyeing you suspiciously. 

“I’m tired from the escape,” you lied, and Dokyeom scoffed. 

“I carried you the entire way, and you’re tired?” Dokyeom hissed. 

“Thank you for carrying me,” you answered sheepishly. 

“Why don’t you rest for a bit? I’ll look around for some food?” You offered. 

“You need to eat?” Dokyeom asked, and you paused. 

“Just a bit of fuel, do you not?” You asked, hoping your question would distract him. 

“I don’t. I do have dreams sometimes where I eat. Maybe it’s from a past life or just a dumb dream,” Dokyeom rambled. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly needed to confide in you. He just did. Something about your presence made him want to tell you all his secrets. Something about you felt safe. 

“Well, I’ll wander for a second if that’s okay?” You said, and Dokyeom nodded. 

“Yeah, I’ll lay down here for a bit,” Dokyeom replied, feigning a yawn to pretend he was tired. 

“Alright. I’ll be back.” 

“Hey, Y/N?” Dokyeom called out. 

“Yeah?” 

“I meant what I said, by the way. No funny business, or I will kill you.” 

“Ow, what the fuck is wrong with you!” Dokyeom barked when he felt a burning sensation on his throat.  

“Well, you have a wound here, and I’m just helping you,” you mumbled as you pressed another piece of gauze to his shoulder. 

“What happened?” Dokyeom asked, wincing slightly. 

“I think something got ripped? I don’t know,” you mumbled, and Dokyeom sat up hastily. 

“My tag?” Dokyeom panicked. 

“Your what?” You asked. 

“My tag, the thing that they use to monitor me,” Dokyeom explained hurriedly, patting himself. 

“What the fuck did you do to me?” Dokyeom hissed, grabbing you harshly.

“What are you on about?” You questioned.

“When I saved your ass, did you, for funsies, rip the tag out of my shoulder?” Dokyeom accused. 

“No, what the hell? Why would I do that to you?” You fired back. 

“Don’t know, fuck, do you know what could happen?” Dokyeom spat. 

“I don’t know. The ones who have been trying to control you get pissed, but without your tracker, they can’t do much, so maybe you can finally live a normal life?” You fumed, your words making Dokyeom pause. 

“Normal life?” Dokyeom repeated slowly. 

“Yes, Dokyeom, normal,” you stuttered. 

“Look, I’m grateful you saved me, but you’ve been hostile otherwise,” you ranted, hoping it’d help to distract Dokyeom. 

“You’re right. I have been hostile, but can you blame me? I don’t think anyone who is my kind is anything but hostile. We’ve been through hell,” Dokyeom countered. 

“Fair enough, we’ve both been screwed over. Instead of taking it out on each other, what if we work on helping each other instead? We can, I don’t know, be each other’s friends. Or even acquaintances?” You offered. 

“Fine, but one wrong move, and I’ll kill you, so tread lightly.” 

“Where were you?” Dokyeom questioned the second you entered the little hiding spot you both found after escaping. It had been evening time, and Dokyeom was distracted and drifted off, so you took a moment to leave the cave and contact your bosses at SALAX. You were able to do so thanks to the fancy watch strapped to your wrist. You had let them know that you had managed to lure Dokyeom into ‘rescuing’ you, and now, over the course of the next two weeks, you would try to lure him back to SALAX. You had also let your superiors know that you had managed to yank out Dokyeom’s tracker, and it was safe and on you.

There were some concerns coming from SALAX that hiding Dokyeom’s tracker on yourself was risky because if he saw the chip, he’d kill you in a heartbeat. But you assured them that he wouldn’t, and with that, the call ended, and you retreated back to the cave to find Dokyeom standing up and glaring at you.

“Where were you?” Dokyeom questioned.

“Uh, just stepped out to get some air and find something to eat,” you lied smoothly. 

“Right…” Dokyeom trailed off. “I meant to ask you about this yesterday. What the hell are you? Why do you need to eat? I don’t, so what the hell are you?” Dokyeom snarled. 

“I thought we were trying to be friends? Why the aggression?” You deflected. 

“You know I can kill you in seconds and leave you here, so instead of avoiding the question, tell me,” Dokyeom threatened as he stepped closer. 

You would be lying if you said that Dokyeom didn’t intimidate you. He was a tall individual with a very strong build. He could easily crush you. 

“I guess one would say I’m a malevolent being,” you explained as you sat down, and Dokyeom followed suit, sitting across from you. 

“Malevolent doesn’t mean kind. It means evil,” Dokyeom mumbled. 

“Oh wow, you’re so smart!” You quipped sarcastically, making him glare at you. 

“I’m a cyborg, so I need to eat, sleep, and do some-what human functions,” you admitted. 

“Like fart?” Dokyeom joked, making you crack a smile. 

“Shut up.” 

“So why were you running? Same as me? Escaping?” Dokyeom asked, and you shrugged. 

“How’s this? We ask each other one question a day. You already asked me something today, so it’s my turn?” You suggested. 

“What do you want to know?” Dokyeom asks. 

“What do you dream about?” You asked, leaving Dokyeom stunned. 

“Dream?” Dokyeom repeated. 

“Yes, dream.” 

“I guess a place where I don’t need to be so on guard all the time or so aware of everything at once. A place where hypervigilance isn’t a constant state of mind,” Dokyeom articulated. 

“I guess you’re right to call it a dream,” you mumbled. 

“Because it’s an ideal state and not our reality?” Dokyeom offered. 

“Fine, we can be friends, a question a day, and I won’t step out of line, and I hope you don’t either,” Dokyeom added. 

“I won’t.” 

Day 1: Cold as Ice

The next day, you awoke naturally and found Dokyeom standing at the entrance of the cave, and you decided to get up and join him.

“What are you thinking about?” You asked with a friendly smile as you approached Dokyeom.

Dokyeom turned to look at you, his eyes narrow and guarded. “How long do we need to keep hiding out here,” he replied curtly, his tone cold.

Undeterred, you placed a hand on his shoulder. “We can find a way out. I know it!” You offered enthusiastically.

Dokyeom simply rolled his eyes, and shrugged your hand off his shoulder, and walked off and back into the cave, where he sat and ignored you for the rest of the day.

Day 2: Thawing

The next day, you tried to engage Dokyeom in conversation, sharing stories, as well as your optimism that you two would be able to find your way out of your wreckage. But Dokyeom barely engaged in the conversation, mainly responding with a few grunts and hums.

But you weren’t easily discouraged. You saw something beneath the surface of Dokyeom’s stoic exterior, a flicker of curiosity and maybe even a hint of loneliness. You believed everyone had a story, and you were determined to uncover his.

As the days passed, you learned more about some of Dokyeom’s habits, habits that you noticed when he thought you weren’t looking. You noticed how his eyes crinkled when he smiled. You also noticed he had a beautiful smile, one that made you feel incredibly warm.

Day 3: Cracks in the façade

“Penny for your thoughts?” You asked one evening, and Dokyeom gave you a small smile.

“We’ll make it out of this mess, right?” Dokyeom asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, we will.”

Day 4: Melting

As the days continued, you continued to engage Dokyeom in conversation. You spoke with an infectious enthusiasm that was hard to resist, and while Dokyeom remained guarded initially, your presence of unwavering warmth began to chip away at the walls he had built around himself. Slowly, he started to open up, revealing glimpses of his past and the reasons for his uninviting nature.

Day 5: Flux

“I’ve been burned before,” Dokyeom admitted one night, his eyes distant as if reliving painful memories. “Those I’ve trusted, they let me down.” 

You reached out and placed a hand over his, letting him know it was okay to continue, and he paused, taking a deep breath.

Dokyeom unravelled to you, a tale of loss and betrayal unfolds; he had once been surrounded by love and trust, only to see it all crumble into dust.

As Dokyeom’s world around him began to change, so did those around him. Those he trusted, in turn, betrayed, hurt and lied to him. Slowly, one by one, the ones he loved and depended on were taken from him. Eventually, Dokyeom found himself alone, a solitary figure in a world that had become cold and unforgiving.

Soon enough, Dokyeom learned a harsh lesson—that trust could be a double-edged sword, capable of bringing individuals together and tearing them apart, and as a result, Dokyeom retreated into himself, becoming stoic and unapproachable, a protective shell forged by the scars of his past.

Dokyeom has learnt to trust no one, not even himself. The walls he has built around his heart are formidable, a defence mechanism against the pain of betrayal and loss.

But amid the chaos and uncertainty surrounding him. He finds a glimmer of hope, you. From there, a connection begins to form, a bond that defies the mistrust that defines Dokyeom’s existence. It’s a fragile thread that you must tread carefully to nurture, knowing that the wounds of his past are still raw and that his ability to trust has been shattered.

You listened attentively, offering empathy and understanding, and shared your struggles and fears, creating a safe space where Dokyeom could reveal his vulnerabilities without judgment.

All the while, guilt gnawed at you, knowing that you, too, were about to betray Dokyeom the way so many others had done. You, too, were about to hurt him. But you needed him to trust you in order to betray him. But you couldn’t help that with each day, feel more guilty, and start second guessing your mission because you weren’t sure if you could hurt someone you wanted to protect.

One day, you find Dokyeom pacing around the cave anxiously, his stoic façade cracking for the first time. He looks at you, a glimmer of vulnerability in his eyes, and admits.“I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

At that moment, you realise that Dokyeom is not as unapproachable as he first seemed. You reach out, reassuringly touching his shoulder, and say. “We’ll figure it out together. We’ve come this far and won’t give up now.”

For the first time, Dokyeom smiles, a small but genuine one. It’s a turning point in your friendship, a moment of trust and connection that grows stronger daily.

As you continue to navigate the challenges of your hidden existence, you and Dokyeom find solace in each other’s company. The once stoic and unapproachable man has become a friend, someone you can rely on and confide in. You face the unknown together, knowing that as long as you have each other, you can conquer whatever challenges lie ahead.

That night, you started shifting in your sleep, mumbling nonsense, when, suddenly, you found yourself in a cavernous nightmare, the cave walls closing around you like vengeful spectres. The air is thick with unease, and your heart races as you try to escape the suffocating darkness. But the cave seems to have no end, and you’re trapped in a terrifying labyrinth of your fears.

Suddenly, a beam of light pierces the darkness, and you hear the sound of footsteps echoing in the cave. A figure emerges from the shadows, and it’s Dokyeom. His presence alone is a lifeline in this nightmarish abyss.

“Dokyeom!” You cry out, relief flooding over you as he draws near. His familiar face is a beacon of hope in this terrifying dream.

He reaches out, his touch reassuring as he says,.“I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

His voice, filled with warmth and strength, calms your racing heart. With his guidance, you navigate the treacherous terrain of the cave, finally escaping the nightmare’s clutches.

As you emerge into the open, the nightmare fades away like a distant memory. You turn to Dokyeom with gratitude and something more in your eyes. He gazes back at you, his usual reserve momentarily giving way to vulnerability.

“You saved me, Dokyeom,” you say softly, your heart pounding.

Dokyeom hesitates, his eyes locked onto yours, and then, in a moment of unspoken connection, you lean in, and your lips meet in a tender kiss. It’s a kiss that carries the weight of the unspoken, the shared relief of escaping the nightmare together, and the growing feelings brewing between you.

For a heartbeat, Dokyeom hesitates, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. But then, as if surrendering to the undeniable pull between you, he reciprocates your kiss, his lips meeting yours with a newfound intensity. Once a place of nightmares, the cave has become the backdrop to a moment of unexpected passion and connection.

As you both break the kiss, the world around you seems to shift, and you realise this dream has taken an unexpected turn. But in the wake of your shared moment, you know that something has changed between you and Dokyeom, and you can’t help but smile, grateful for the bond that has deepened in the darkness of this surreal nightmare.

The next day, you and Dokyeom wandered out of the little cave and found yourselves standing amidst a scene of utter devastation, a future marred by damage and chaos that stretches as far as the eye can see. The landscape was a haunting testament to the havoc that had been unleashed upon this once-thriving world. Buildings, once towering symbols of human achievement, now lie in ruins, their skeletal frames jutting out of the shattered concrete like the bones of a long-forgotten civilization. The acrid stench of smoke and burning debris fills the air, choking your senses as you survey the destruction.

The sky above is a sickly hue, darkened by the ominous clouds of billowing smoke that obscures the sun, casting an eerie, blood-red glow over the desolation below. The air crackles with an unsettling energy, a lingering sense of impending doom.

Amidst the wreckage, remnants of what was once a bustling metropolis now lie scattered like discarded toys. Abandoned vehicles, their tires deflated and windows shattered, stand as silent witnesses to the chaos that unfolded here.

As you move further into this grim future scene, you can't help but feel a profound sense of loss and despair. The world as you knew it has been forever altered, transformed into a nightmarish landscape of destruction and ruin.

In the distance, faint echoes of distant sirens and the low rumble of collapsing structures serve as a grim reminder that the chaos is far from over. The damage inflicted upon this world runs deep, and the path to recovery seems uncertain and fraught with challenges.

Yet, amidst the devastation, there is a glimmer of hope, a resilience that refuses to be extinguished. It's a reminder that even in the face of chaos and destruction, humanity's spirit endures, and the struggle for survival continues.

“You can relax a bit. I don’t really think anyone is here,” you whispered to Dokyeom as you cautiously walked around, noticing how almost everything was burned, destroyed and damaged. 

“Look at the damage,” Dokyeom mumbled back. 

“I know, it’s so awful. I hope those who wanted to escape managed to do so,” you admitted. 

“Why didn’t you?” Dokyeom asked. 

“What?” 

“Didn’t escape? Why didn’t you?” Dokyeom asked, eyeing you suspiciously. 

“I was hurt,” you muttered. 

“I didn’t know cyborgs could feel pain?” Dokyeom challenged, and you averted your gaze away from him. 

“Did you do it to trap me?” Dokyeom challenged. 

“No? What would I gain from doing that to you?” You retorted, and Dokyeom shrugged. 

“Fuck knows, you told me you’ve done things you’re not proud of. Maybe I’m just another thing you’ll do that you’re not proud of.” 

“Trust me, Dokyeom, if I wanted to do you, I would have a long time ago,” you huffed out as you stormed off, making Dokyeom sigh as he followed you. 

“We need to steal a spacecraft,” you whispered to Dokyeom.

“Are you insane? How?” Dokyeom whispered back, and you shrugged. 

“Look,” you said, motioning to where you were looking. 

Amidst a desolate and haunting scene of wreckage, a solitary spacecraft stood as a lone survivor of a cataclysmic event. It appeared as a beacon of hope amidst the debris-strewn wasteland.

The spacecraft’s once-pristine exterior, now scarred and battered, stands defiantly among the twisted metal and shattered remnants of other vessels. Its hull, once gleaming, bears the scars of cosmic collisions and the ravages of time. A faint, eerie light from malfunctioning control panels cast shadows across its battered form.

Around the spacecraft, a field of wreckage stretches into the horizon, a haunting testament to the harshness of space. Broken pieces of machinery and torn metal fragments drift through the void like lost souls. The eerie silence of the scene is punctuated only by the occasional creaking of damaged hulls.

Inside the spacecraft, signs of struggle and survival are evident. Emergency lights flicker, and a faint hum of life support systems resonates through the corridors. It stands as a testament to the resilience of those who once staffed it, their spirit unbroken despite the chaos surrounding them.

In this place of wreckage, the spacecraft is a symbol of endurance and perseverance, a lone sentinel refusing to succumb to the unforgiving cosmos. Its presence amid the ruins speaks of the human spirit’s unyielding determination to press on, even in the face of overwhelming adversity.

“You can’t be serious,” Dokyeom mumbled. 

“You want freedom? Escape? This is our only solution. You can be free again.” 

You and your partner in crime stand in the dimly lit hangar, eyes fixed on the sleek spacecraft that gleams like a jewel in the shadows. The ship, an advanced model with a reputation for speed and agility, holds the key to your daring escape plan. 

You both approach the spacecraft with a shared nod and a sense of exhilaration. Your partner, a master of hacking, quickly accesses the control panel, fingers dancing across the holographic interface. The ship’s security systems fall like dominos, leaving you unfettered access.

The boarding ramp lowers smoothly, revealing the spacecraft’s luxurious interior. You and your partner slip inside, feeling the cool, synthetic leather seats beneath you. As the canopy seals shut with a soft hiss, you exchange a glance filled with determination.

Dokyeom took the pilot’s seat, fingers caressing the controls with a practised ease. The spacecraft’s engines hum to life, vibrating beneath you as they prepare to defy gravity. You both brace yourselves with a final glance out of the transparent canopy.

The spacecraft lifts off, rising gracefully from the hangar floor. You feel the G-forces press you into your seat as you hurtle towards the heavens. The hangar doors open, revealing the starry expanse of space beyond.

You know you’ve left it all behind at that moment—your past, troubles, and the pursuit of those seeking to capture you. You and Dokyeom have stolen not just a spacecraft but a chance at freedom, and together, you soar into the unknown, leaving a trail of stardust in your wake.

“Where are we going?” Dokyeom asked as the spacecraft hovered and slowly moved along.

“AECOR” you replied.

“Why?” Dokyeom asked.

“To relax, to breathe, and to regroup,” you answered with a smile, and that was enough Dokyeom needed to know.

~~ “Wow,” Dokyeom breathed out as he disembarked from the spacecraft and set foot into AECOR.

“This is incredible.” 

You find yourself standing at the edge of a breathtaking rainforest, enveloped by the magical allure of the night. The moonlight filters through the dense canopy above, casting a gentle, silver glow upon the lush foliage below. Tall trees adorned with vibrant, bioluminescent flowers seem to dance in the faint shimmer of light, their leaves rustling in a gentle, nocturnal breeze.

As you venture deeper into the rainforest, the symphony of nighttime creatures serenades your senses. Frogs and crickets play a melodic chorus while fireflies flicker like tiny stars, illuminating your path. The air is thick with the heady scent of damp earth, moss, and exotic blooms, creating an intoxicating fragrance that lingers around you.

But the true marvel of this rainforest night unfolds before you as you stumble upon a hidden gem—the waterfall. It glistens under the moon’s enchanting gaze, cascading waters a ribbon of liquid crystal tumbling from the heights above into a pristine, moonlit pool below.

The waterfall’s roar is a soothing lullaby, a constant reminder of nature’s grandeur and eternal rhythm. The moonlight dances upon the water’s surface, creating a sparkling, silvery tapestry that seems to stretch forever. Each droplet from above catches the moon’s radiance, forming a trail of liquid stardust.

You approach the pool’s edge, feeling the cool mist kiss your skin as the waterfall’s spray gently caresses your face. The night sounds intensify around you, the rainforest coming alive with its secrets and wonders. It’s a world of enchantment, where the rainforest’s beauty is magnified by the veil of night, and the waterfall stands as a shimmering testament to the timeless allure of nature.

“Isn’t it? I thought we could take a break here, considering all we’ve been doing is running and hiding. We’re safe here,” you mumble. 

“Are we?” Dokyeom asks. 

“Would I lead you astray?” You ask, inching closer to him. 

“I don’t think you would. You wouldn’t just kiss me to manipulate me later, right?” Dokyeom asks as he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you into him. You smile at him. This was the first time the kiss from the night before was brought up.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” you mumble. 

“I didn’t say I minded. I did kiss back,” Dokyeom adds, making you melt into his touch, guilt plaguing you, knowing that you would soon cause this incredible individual’s demise. 

“Shall we?” You ask, motioning to the bodies of water, looking around for one slightly more private, where you both wouldn’t be recognised and could spend time with him, alone, uninterrupted, before you betray him.

Dokyeom takes your hand, guides you to a more secluded plunge pool, and stops at the edge of the water. With a soft smile, he removes your clothing piece by piece, every movement charged with an undeniable urgency. As he finishes, his eyes scan your body with fierce hunger, and his hands wander over your curves with possessiveness.

You shiver as you feel his hands slide around your waist from the back, the warmth of his touch sending shivers up and down your spine. You can feel the barely restrained desire emanating from his body.

Dokyeom pulls you closer, and you can feel his hardness against your back as he presses against you. His lips trail down to your shoulder, his breath heating your skin as his gaze travels up your neck.

Dokyeom turns you to face him, cupping your face in his hands as he trails down to your lips. His tongue probes at the corner of your mouth before sliding in, the wetness and warmth as you open your mouth to him sending you into a passionate frenzy.

Dokyeom takes your hand and leads you to the pool. As the warm water envelops you, Dokyeom slides in behind you, his chest against your back as his arms wrap around you. His hands move over your body with increasing passion as his lips go up and down your neck.

Your back arches, trying to move even closer to him. You moan in pleasure as his hardness presses against your skin, the sensation of him filled with anticipation. You can’t help but feel like you want him to take you in the water.

You and Dokyeom are both submerged in the shallow waters of the pool, your hands trailing along the smooth surface of the tiled edges. You look up at Dokyeom, a smirk on your lips as you start to move, your body drawn closer to his as your hands move expertly to his hips and you bring yourself just under the water. You feel the anticipation running through both of you as you wrap your arms around his waist and pull yourself tight against him.

You can feel Dokyeom’s breaths coming faster as he looks down at you, anticipation radiating from his eyes as you start to explore. You run your hands through his hair, feeling your tension quickly mixed with pleasure as you tilt your head back. The sensation of his skin against yours is heightened in the water, and you quicken your pace, carefully trailing your lips and tongue along his chest and stomach. His skin feels like butter beneath your mouth, begging for more attention.

You let out a soft moan as you bring your mouth up to his, your tongue tracing along his lower lip as you press against Dokyeom. He responds with a groan, his mouth eagerly meeting yours as you wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss. You feel your way down from his mouth, your tongue gliding along his neck and shoulders as your hands trace his contours.

You pull away from him, an inviting smile on your lips before you go down his torso. With each movement, your mouth is greeted with eager sighs and gasps of pleasure from Dokyeom. As you reach the bottom of his stomach, you look up, the look in his eyes telling you it’s time for something different. You gaze at him momentarily, his eyes pleading, before you dip your tongue into the shallow pools of water between his legs.

Dokyeom lets out an animalistic groan as you move your mouth along his member, lapping up the waves of pleasure each stroke gives him. His body arches into you as your tongue swirls around in circles, his hands grasping your hair as you work your way up and down. You can’t help but smile against him as you hear tiny, breathy moans with each flick of your tongue, revealing that you’ve brought him to this point.

You can feel your arousal growing, and you know you’ve done the same to Dokyeom as you reach the climax together, him calling out your name as the waves of pleasure ensnare you both and pull you gently into a blissfully calm state.

You feel the heat rising as you climb out of the plunge pool and lay on the edge, reclining on your elbows, and you feel your breath hitch in anticipation and your breaths coming in shallow gasps.

Then you feel Dokyeom’s hand touching you, tracing a path from your abdomen to your chest and neck. His fingertips leave a trail of blissful heat on your skin, and you let out a contented sigh.

Dokyeom slides lower, his hand running across your inner thigh. His fingers work their way up your legs, sending sparks of pleasure shooting right to your core.

When Dokyeom finally reaches your most intimate area, you can’t help but gasp as you feel his tongue exploring you. His soft, lapping motions send waves of pleasure rippling through your body, and you find yourself pushing against his face, wanting more and more from him.

Dokyeom responds to the pressure of your body, deepening the stress and increasing the intensity of his movements. His tongue circles around your clit, sending more delightful feelings coursing through you until you feel like you’re about to combust.

And then it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Your body suddenly gives way as an explosion of pleasure ripples through you, and you think your entire body is trembling with delight. You’ve just experienced the most intense and pleasurable orgasm, thanks to Dokyeom.

He stares deeply into your eyes, the look telling you he craves you just as much as you desire him.

You don’t have to wait any longer. He plunges deep inside you, his hips moving skillfully as his groans mix with yours. Your body tightens around him as he rocks into you so intensely that it sends waves of pleasure shooting through your body.

The intensity builds up until a wave of pleasure engulfs both of you. You collapse into each other, exhausted but electrified.

The afterglow slowly takes over as you lay in each other’s arms, enjoying the comfort of being surrounded by each other’s warmth.

You and Dokyeom found refuge in a small corner of AECOR, where you both held each other. It was a beautiful and peaceful moment, and you wished that you could stay in this moment forever.

“Y/N, I want you to know something. I feel safe with you for the first time in my life,” Dokyeom admitted, making you smile and guilt engulf you.

His words hung in the air, carrying the weight of his vulnerability. You look into his eyes, the depth of his emotions mirrored in his gaze. The rainforest seems to hold its breath as if nature is listening to this profound declaration.

You reach out, your hand finding his, fingers entwined.  

“Dokyeom,” you reply with a voice filled with warmth and understanding.

 “I’m grateful to have you in my life. We’re safe together.”

The next day, Dokyeom felt a slight throbbing pain in his head, and when he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. He wasn’t even sure how he woke up or, more importantly, how he was unconscious. Had you hurt him? Where were you? Had he been brave, he would have gone out to search, but he knew not to because he too was a target.

You find yourself in the heart of SALAX, a planet shrouded in shadows and ruled by fear. As you navigate the dimly lit paths, a chilling encounter awaits you. A mysterious figure approaches, cloaked in darkness, and with a low, ominous voice, they ask.

“Have you managed to ensnare Dokyeom yet?”

You hesitate, your mind racing as you weigh your options. You’ve infiltrated this grim city for a specific purpose, a mission that demands subtlety and caution. But the pressure to fulfil your promise hangs heavily over you, and the consequences of failure are dire.

You felt immense guilt the night before, right after Dokyeom confessed to you that he felt safe with you, when he wasn’t looking, decided to hit him hard enough to cause a slight snag in his system, which would make him shut down for a few hours. Which gave you enough time to go SALAX and see if you could get out of your deal. You couldn’t hurt Dokyeom anymore. You couldn’t hurt someone you were falling in love with.

Before you can respond, the enigmatic figure steps closer, their face concealed by shadows. “Time is running out, Y/N,” they hiss, their tone dripping with menace.

“We cannot afford delays. Alastor is growing impatient.”

The name sends a shiver down your spine—Alastor, the ruler of SALAX, a malevolent force you’ve heard whispered about in hushed tones. He is a figure of terror, and the urgency in the stranger’s voice underscores the gravity of your mission.

As you stand there, torn between your mission’s demands and the mounting pressure from Alastor’s emissary, you know that your choices in this treacherous city will have far-reaching consequences. The web of intrigue and danger in SALAX tightens around you, and you must decide whether to continue down this perilous path, knowing that failure could mean a fate worse than death.

As you leave the oppressive city of SALAX behind, the weight of guilt and conflict presses heavily upon your heart. The memories of your time in SALAX, the choices you made, and the person you had to become weigh on your conscience, and there’s no escaping the tangled web of emotions.

In the solitude of your departure, you find yourself grappling with the harsh reality of having betrayed Dokyeom, the man you had come to care for deeply. Your love for him is undeniable, a powerful force that has drawn you together in a world fraught with danger and uncertainty.

With each step away from SALAX, you replay the moments when you had to deceive him, the lies you had to tell, and the promises you couldn’t keep. The pain of knowing that you’ve broken his trust is like a dagger in your chest, and it gnaws at your soul.

But you also remember the pressure from Alastor, the ruler of SALAX, and the dire consequences that would have occurred had you not complied with his demands. It was a choice between betraying Dokyeom and facing the wrath of Alastor, and in the end, you had to prioritise your survival.

As you journey further away from SALAX, you yearn for a solution, a way to make amends for the betrayal and deception that have torn your heart in two. You know that you can’t change the past, but you’re determined to find a way to set things right.

The conflict within you rages on, tearing at your conscience and leaving you in turmoil. You find solace in the quiet moments of reflection, searching for a path forward that will allow you to reconcile your love for Dokyeom with the choices you were forced to make.

In the distance, a glimmer of hope emerges—a plan, a way to mend the trust you’ve shattered. It won’t be easy, and the road ahead is uncertain, but you’re resolved to find a solution that will bring redemption and forgiveness for yourself and the love you hold for Dokyeom.

As the spacecraft landed back in AECOR, you noticed Dokyeom standing outside the place where you last left him, and even though the space craft, you could sense the tension.

As you got off the spacecraft, you noticed that Dokyeom’s once-warm demeanour had cooled, replaced by a distant and suspicious gaze. The weight of your mission and the secrets you carry are like a boulder on your shoulders as you stand before him.

Dokyeom’s words, when they finally come, are laced with an undercurrent of passive aggression.

“Where were you?”

You can feel his scrutiny, his unspoken doubts hanging heavy in the air. The unease in your chest tightens, and you know the time has come to confront the truth.

“SALAX”

“What?”

Taking a deep breath, you decide to be honest. “Dokyeom, there are things I need to tell you,” you begin, your voice quivering with the weight of your confession.

He raises an eyebrow, his suspicion growing. “Go on.”

You recount the events of your mission in SALAX, the pressure from Alastor’s emissary, and the choices you were forced to make. You can see the anger and disappointment flicker in Dokyeom’s eyes as you speak.

When you finally finish, there’s a heavy silence between you. Dokyeom’s expression is inscrutable, and you can’t tell if he’s processing your confession or formulating his response.

After an eternity, he finally speaks, his voice cold and measured. “Y/N, I need you to understand the gravity of your actions. Trust is not something to be taken lightly. Your secrecy puts us all at risk.”

Your heart sinks as you realise the consequences of your choices. You had expected Dokyeom’s anger, but what comes next surprises you.

He leans in closer, his gaze unwavering. “Here’s your ultimatum Y/N. If you want to continue being with me, you must prove you can be trusted. No more secrets, no more hidden agendas. From now on, complete transparency. Can you do that?”

The ultimatum hangs in the air like a heavy storm cloud, and you understand the weight of his words. The trust eroded by your actions is at stake, and it’s up to you to rebuild it, one honest step at a time.

“Dokyeom, I need to confess to you,” your voice trembles slightly, but you push on, knowing that honesty is the only path forward.

His brow furrows in concern as he listens attentively, encouraging you to continue. “I... I was supposed to betray you,” you admit, the words heavy on your conscience. “There was a plan, a scheme I was involved in, but I can’t do it anymore.”

Dokyeom’s eyes widen in surprise, and he reaches out to gently hold your hand, a silent gesture of support. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice soft and understanding.

Tears gather in your eyes as you elaborate. “I was meant to deceive you, hurt you, but I’ve realised that what we share is more important to me than anything else. I can’t go through with it, Dokyeom. I can’t betray you after everything we’ve been through.”

Silence hangs in the air, the weight of your confession palpable. You search his eyes for a sign, praying he’ll understand your turmoil and forgive your past intentions. With your heart in your throat, you wait for his response, hoping your honesty will be the bridge to mend any potential rift between you.

As you sit across from Dokyeom, the weight of your past and the secrets you’ve harboured for so long pressing heavily upon your shoulders, you take a deep breath, trying to find the courage to reveal your darkest truths.

As the realisation dawns upon Dokyeom, a heavy silence settles over the room. He stands there, his thoughts racing, trying to face the betrayal that has unfolded before him. The one person he had trusted implicitly, you, had been attempting to deceive him all along.

Dokyeom’s heart feels like it’s been gripped by an icy vice, and he struggles to find words to express the tumultuous emotions surging within him. He had opened himself up and allowed you into the innermost chambers of his life, and now he feels like a fool.

You stood before him, your eyes filled with regret and uncertainty.

Finally, Dokyeom’s voice breaks through the silence, but it’s laced with a mixture of hurt and anger. “Y/N, how could you?” His words are filled with a sense of betrayal that cuts deep.

You took a step forward, her voice trembling as you tried to explain. “Dokyeom, I... I never meant for things to get this far. It started as something I thought I had to do, but along the way, I realised...”

Dokyeom cuts you off, his anger boiling over. “Realised what? That you could play with my trust and feelings and throw it all away when it suited you?”

The room feels tense, the air heavy with the moment’s weight. Dokyeom’s trust, once unshakable, has been shattered, and he’s left to grapple with the aftermath of the betrayal.

Your eyes fill with tears as you struggle to find the right words to make amends for your actions. “Dokyeom, please, just hear me out. I never wanted to hurt you. I never thought I would care this much.”

He turns away from you, unable to bear the sight of the person who had manipulated his trust. “Y/N, I need time,” he says, his voice weary and defeated. “I need time to process this, to understand what just happened.”

“Dokyeom,” you begin, your voice quivering, “there’s something I need to tell you. Something I’ve kept hidden for far too long.”

Once warm and trusting, his eyes now hold a mix of curiosity and concern as he nods, encouraging you to continue.

“I come from a past that I’m not proud of,” you admit, gazing at the table before you. “I used to be involved in criminal activities that hurt people and went against everything I now stand for.”

Dokyeom remains silent, his expression a mixture of surprise and a hint of sadness.

Tears well up in your eyes as you recount the horrors of your past the choices you made that left scars on others and yourself. “I’ve hurt people, stolen, lied, and deceived. I could escape my past, but it’s been haunting me, and I can’t bear to keep it hidden any longer.”

Dokyeom’s gaze remains locked on you. His silence speaks volumes.

“I joined this SALAX, this mission, in the hope that I could make amends for my past,” you continue, your voice trembling with emotion. “I wanted to change, become a better person, and do something meaningful. But I understand if you can’t trust me now.”

“If I could give them you, then I would not be punished for my past,” you admit.

The room seems to close in on you as you await his response, the weight of your confession hanging heavily in the air. You fear that your past actions have damaged the trust Dokyeom once had in you.

After what feels like an eternity, Dokyeom finally speaks, his voice measured and compassionate.

“Y/N, what matters is not the person you used to be but who you’ve become. You’ve taken a courageous step by facing your past and sharing it with me.”

Dokyeom's hand finds yours, a gesture of understanding and support.

“We all have our demons, Y/N, and we all make mistakes. What’s important is that you’re trying to make amends and move forward. I believe in the person you are now, and I trust that you’ll continue to work towards the better future you’ve set your sights on.”

Tears of relief well up in your eyes as you squeeze his hand, grateful for his understanding and forgiveness. In that moment, you realise that by sharing your darkest truths, you’ve not only unburdened yourself but also strengthened the trust between you and Dokyeom. It’s a crucial step toward redemption and a brighter future where your past no longer defines who you are.

“We’ll fight it together.”

“We’ll make it out alive, Y/N,” Dokyeom promised. However, as the words left Dokyeom’s mouth, you heard a loud noise, and suddenly, you were both enveloped in a cloud of darkness. 

As the darkness of night envelopes you and Dokyeom, you find yourselves ensnared in a dire predicament. Captured by unknown assailants, you're bound and blindfolded, completely at their mercy. The journey is disorienting, filled with abrupt turns and jolts, leaving you with no sense of direction.

After what feels like an eternity, the vehicle comes to a halt, and you're roughly pulled from your seats. The sound of heavy metal doors creaking open echoes in the air, and you're guided out, stumbling on unfamiliar terrain.

The blindfold is removed, and as your eyes adjust to the dim light, you realize that you're in the heart of SALAX. The planet’s cold and oppressive atmosphere is suffocating, and a sense of foreboding washes over you.

Dokyeom, still bound and disoriented, is by your side, and you exchange a glance that speaks volumes—fear, uncertainty, and the grim realization that you've been brought into the heart of a malevolent force.

Gathered around you are a group of armed figures, their faces obscured by masks and shadows. They remain silent, their intentions unclear, as they usher you both forward, deeper into the labyrinthine alleys of SALAX.

The city's eerie ambience intensifies, and you can't help but wonder what fate awaits you and Dokyeom in this dystopian realm. As you're led further into the heart of the unknown, the sense of peril deepens, and the need for a plan to escape this grim fate becomes all-consuming. 

In the distant, dystopian future, amidst the cold and unforgiving landscape of a city known as SALAX, there exists a name that strikes fear into the hearts of all who dare to speak it—Alastor, the malevolent ruler of this desolate realm.

With a visage shrouded in shadows and a presence that radiates malevolence, Alastor is a figure cloaked in mystery and darkness. His iron grip on SALAX is unyielding, and his dominion extends far beyond the city’s crumbling walls. He is a tyrant of unparalleled cruelty, ruling through fear, manipulation, and an insatiable thirst for power.

The tales of Alastor’s ruthless reign are whispered in hushed tones, passed down from generation to generation. His rule is marked by oppression, surveillance, and merciless enforcers who carry out his every command without question. In his quest for dominance, he has left a trail of broken lives and shattered dreams in his wake.

Alastor’s origins remain closely guarded, hidden behind lies and deception. Some say he was once a brilliant scientist, while others claim he emerged from the depths of the city’s darkest nightmares. Regardless of his past, his present is a reign of terror that leaves no room for hope or resistance.

As the ruler of SALAX, Alastor commands a vast network of spies, informants, and ruthless enforcers, all dedicated to maintaining his oppressive regime. His fortress-like palace, situated at the city’s heart, symbolises his absolute authority. In this place, he broods over his dark ambitions and plots his next move to tighten his grip on the city’s inhabitants.

Alastor’s name is synonymous with cruelty and malevolence, a name that sends shivers down the spines of those who dare utter it. In the grim, futuristic world of SALAX, he is the embodiment of evil, a shadowy figure who rules with an iron fist and whose presence casts a long, foreboding shadow over all who dwell within his domain.

You stand before a council of stern-faced individuals, their collective disapproval palpable. The room is tense, and your heart beats heavily as you confront the consequences of your failure. The weight of their anger bears down on you, and you know that there is no escaping the harsh judgment about to be passed.

One of the council members opens his mouth to address you, his expression a mask of disappointment and anger and addresses you with a voice that cuts through the silence like a blade. “Y/N, you were entrusted with a vital task and failed us miserably.”

Your voice quivers as you attempt to offer an apology. “I... I didn’t mean for this to happen. It was an honest mistake.”

But the council members are unforgiving, their faces etched with anger and frustration. One of them, an imposing figure with a voice like thunder, bellows.

“Honest mistake or not, your failure has put us all at risk. We can’t afford such incompetence.”

The atmosphere in the room grows more hostile with each passing moment. Accusations fly, and your attempts at explaining the circumstances of your failure fall on deaf ears. The decision is made swiftly and decisively.

One of the council members, their voice filled with righteous anger, proclaims.

“Y/N, you have betrayed our trust and jeopardised our mission. You are hereby banished from our ranks.”

The words hang in the air like a death sentence, and you feel a profound sense of despair wash over you. The consequences of your actions have led to your expulsion, and there is no way to argue your way out of it.

Alastor, his gaze filled with disappointment, approaches you with a heavy heart.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice laced with regret. “I never thought I would see this day. You were once a valued team member, but your failure has left us no choice.”

“Please let me do anything else. Please spare him,” you begged. 

“Oh, you still don’t understand, do you? You fell in love with him, gave him your body and love, and as a result, you are no longer of any use to us. You are done,” Alastar spoke, his words terrifying you further. 

“Don’t hurt him,” you whimpered. 

“He’ll be hurt, don’t you worry. He can watch the life be taken out of you. That will be his punishment.”

Tears well up in your eyes as you realise the gravity of your mistake. You had let down not only those who had trusted you but also yourself. The sense of shame and regret is overwhelming.

As you are escorted out of the room, the weight of your banishment settles upon you like a heavy shroud. You are left to face the consequences of your failure alone, the anger and disappointment of those you once considered allies echoing in your ears.

In the days that follow, you wander, a sense of purposelessness consuming you. The world outside is harsh and unforgiving, and you are left to bear the burden of your mistakes.

As you reflect on the consequences of your actions, you can’t help but wonder if there will ever be a way to make amends for your failure. The road ahead is uncertain, and the path to redemption, if it exists at all, seems long and arduous.

But one thing is clear—you must carry the weight of your punishment and learn from your failure, for it is only through facing the consequences of your actions that you can hope to find a way to redeem yourself in the eyes of those you have let down.

In the dimly lit room, the air felt heavy with anguish and despair. You and Dokyeom, bound and helpless, found yourselves in a nightmarish scenario you could never have imagined. A sinister figure, cloaked in shadows, loomed over you both, his intentions cruel and heartless.

Dokyeom watched you helplessly as you lay on the cold, unforgiving floor, your breaths shallow and laboured. The faint flicker of a dying candle cast eerie, shifting shadows on your face, emphasising the pallor of your skin.

Tears welled in your eyes as you whispered words of comfort, your voice trembling with grief. Dokyeom’s eyes met yours, filled with profound sadness and an unspoken understanding of the impending tragedy.

“Any final words?” The sinister figure asked mockingly.

“In another universe, we’ll find each other again,” you breathed out, and Dokyeom let out a string of pleas, begging for mercy.

The sinister figure, unmoved by Dokyeom’s pleas, revealed a cruel smile as he continued his evil act. Time seemed to slow as Dokyeom was forced to witness life slowly ebb away from you–the person he cherished most. Every passing moment felt like an eternity of heartache.

The room seemed to close in around you as the final breaths escaped your lover’s lips, leaving a haunting silence in their wake. Once filled with love and life, their eyes stared vacantly into the abyss.

In that agonising moment, part of you died with them, and the world became darker and colder. The anguish and helplessness etched into your memory would forever haunt your soul, a scar that time could never fully heal.

The End

Earth: Present Day 

“New here, huh?” The man before you asked, and you smiled at him. 

“Uh, yeah. I just moved to this town for a fresh start,” you replied unsurely, making the man smile at you. 

“Why don’t you sit next to that gentleman over there? You both look rather lost. Let me grab a few things, and I’ll sort you both out,” he instructed, and you mumbled a ‘yes’ and made your way to another lost-looking soul. 

“Sorry, is this seat taken?” You asked the stranger. He looked up at you. He had a kind face, warm eyes, and a loving smile. But something about this man was familiar like you had met him once in a dream, in a different life. It makes your heart race and mind run wild with possibilities. You knew him. You just didn’t know how. 

“Nope, have a seat,” he offered kindly. 

“So you’re also lost in a new town, huh?” He asked, and you nodded. 

“Yeah, just, I guess, sorted landed on my ass,” you joked, making him laugh and clap his hands. 

“Same, hey, we’re both lost. I guess we could be friends? I promise you, I won’t bite,” 

“I don’t see why not,” you responded. 

“I’m Y/N,” you introduced, holding your hand to him. 

“Sounds familiar for some reason,” the stranger responded. 

“Funny, I wanted to say the same to you,” you admitted. 

“I’m Seokmin,” he said, shaking your hand. 

“I wish the name rang a bell, but maybe I’m going crazy,” you added, making him smile. 

“Maybe in another universe, we once knew each other?” Seokmin offered. 

[zkylearnstherope]

AvPhysics - An Analysis [Part 1]

[Part 1] - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Disclaimer: This will only be a surface-level analysis for Animation vs. Physics. If you expect something more in-depth, you have to wait for the physicists.

Let's get into it- shall we?

Obviously, TSC spawns from the e✖iT Euler's Identity made in the end of AvMath. For the sake of this analysis, let's call this one, TSC_0.

One minute upon arrival, TSC_0 didn't have any personal goal/objective, so he was just running around. This also demonstrates the accuracy of the UI Formula Thing (UFT) that shows up on the screen.

That is, until he found this ball, and then the others after it. Which we eventually realize, all came from The Singularity. Something or someone is trying to get his attention. He needs to reach the Singularity.

The first thing he realizes is, "Dang, this is gonna take a while".

Also, space is dark because there is no sun- specifically, no solar system.

Okay, new goal. We need to get faster. But how?

Side Note: Animation vs. Frequency? Animation vs. Color Theory? Animation vs. Sound Waves?

A Solar System (with its own star/sun) spawns in. He did not reach it, it spawned in. It literally did NOT exist prior to the flashlight.

He utilizes the space maneuver called the Gravity Assist. Also called the Slingshot Effect. It's where you use a planet's gravity, by moving around it (but not entering it) to gain significant speed.

Most sci-fi stories use this maneuver to save on propulsion and to change/correct the course of the spacecraft.

UFT shows that he got faster now, but it's still not enough.

So he does it again with two faster-orbiting planets. Gaining more speed in the process.

He was supposed to make impact with the sun here, although I'm not sure why he didn't. It's probably because a sun along with its own solar system moves through the galaxy. They don't stay in one place.

For example: Our Solar System orbits the Milky Way Galaxy for about 230 million years, which is also called a cosmic year.

And by moving around the sun but NOT hitting it, gave him even more speed.

Here's his speed upon exiting the solar system.

He eventually reached 1% of the speed of light. Yep, that whole almost-dying-in-the-sun process, is still not enough to get anywhere.

Magnets spawns in. Again, they did NOT exist prior to this.

"Hmm... we can use this," he says.

Step 1: Let's magnetize the crap out of this rocket.

Step 2: Enter the magnet gates.

Step 3: We get a magnetic linear accelerator, which utilizes the opposing magnetic fields to propel/launch objects at high speeds. Initially thought this was a particle accelerator, but turns out that's a whole different thing.

And now we reached 80% of the speed of light.

If you're still following me... good news, we have reached half of the video.

Cool graphics, 'cause why not.

Around this point, TSC_0 experiences Time Dilation. This is important for later.

This is because he has now left the galaxy.

More sci-fi stuff. Everything starts to look more red.

Red-looking black hole.

Something hits him on the head. How is this possible?

Oh no, my apple. Take note, that the apple glows red whenever gravity is messing with it.

Goodbye world, my apple needs me.

Aww... Turns out there is a photo limit per post.

Here's [Part 2].

[incandescent-creativity]

It's still technically Sunday for me so--

Snippet Sunday a new writeblr activity from @tracle0 (post is here)

This is from FLOAT, since that's what I'm working on lately!

🌊🦑🌊🦑🌊🦑

“Hang on, what do you mean ‘back’ on Earth? What do you mean, specific memories ‘of Earth’?” My head swims, but the dizziness has nothing to do with the movement of the ocean. “We’re not on Earth?”

“Not anymore,” Aspen confirms.

“No,” the word pops out of my mouth before I can straighten out what I think of the news. “No, you’re wrong.”

My denial doesn’t faze her. Aspen doesn’t move from her relaxed position among the pillows. Her expression doesn’t even change—she just continues listening to me.

“How can we be on a different planet?” I demand. “We’ve never been able to find other planets that we could live on, let alone travel to. We’ve never even made it to the planets in our own solar system.”

“I’m sure that’s true,” Aspen says, infuriatingly calm.

Logically, my brain knows that it’s not her fault, but my racing heart and stinging eyes are telling me otherwise. Pulled to my feet by it all, I manage to not fall over. That’s good—that’s going to be step one in escaping.

“River,” Aspen says, also standing from the bed that we were just settling into.

“Stop it,” I snap.

I can’t choose between glaring at her and looking towards the door, my escape route. In the end, I glare so hard a third eye opens on my left cheek and keeps an eye on the door for me. The split vision is disorienting at first, and I do end up leaning left before I recapture my balance, but it’s easier to parse than the dozens of eyes that sprouted as a kraken.

“Just because I can do—do weird stuff now, doesn’t mean we’re on a different planet,” I tell her.

“I’m not lying,” Aspen says, sounding slightly less calm as her gaze catches on the new eye. I almost want her to say something, just to use it as an excuse to see what I can grow next.

“Prove it,” I challenge.

“We’ll have to go outside,” she tells me. “I can introduce you to Venus, my second in command, too.”

"No,” I say again, shaking my head and closing the third eye to prevent dizzying myself further. “If we have to go outside, it should just be us. Tell her to leave, then I’ll join you.”

“I can’t do that,” Aspen tells me.

“And I can’t have her seeing me like this,” I argue, gesturing to the third eye on my face.

“Dismissing her will only make her more suspicious,” Aspen says. She isn’t arguing with me—she’s still calm enough to present straightforward facts for my consideration. “And you’re going to have to meet her at some point.”

The idea of another crew member staring at me douses whatever fire had been building in me. I can’t get rid of Aspen; she already knows. But I don’t want to have to meet a new person while the odds of them rejecting me for having too many limbs and eyes and who knows what else.

“It’s not the meeting her,” I lie. “It’s the…” The what? The freak show factor? The way I feel like a fucked up werewolf? “The shapeshifting.”

“What about it?” Aspen asks, as if it’s not a gigantic issue.

No longer willing to make a break for it, I close the eye looking at the door for the final time. I feel the skin of my cheek smooth over as the nerve severs from my brain and slides out of my face like a hair that got caught in my mouth. Not knowing what else to do, I catch the eyeball in my hand. It’s warm, and damp, and the iris isn’t the dark brown color that my eyes normally are.

I hold it up to Aspen, who, remarkably, doesn’t flinch.

“I can’t have this be my introduction, Aspen,” I say, as cowardly as it is. “I want to make a good first impression, and then share the news once they know me as me. Not as a squid, or as anything else.”

The captain of the Endurance regards me for a silent moment. I do my best to meet her gaze and stand my ground. I’m not part of her crew; I’m stuck on her ship for now, but I haven’t signed anything. She can’t give me orders and expect me to obey them. I don’t know what I’ll say if she tries to, but I haven’t known what to say this whole conversation, so that won’t be anything new.

“I understand your… social concerns,” she says, pausing to try and figure out how to summarize what I just said. “But my crew is trustworthy. I don’t bring anybody aboard who isn’t completely focused on our survival. What I’m trying to say is—they can keep a secret.”

“I’m not trying to have it kept a secret from anybody else,” I point out. “It’s them I don’t want to know.”

“I generally try to share everything with my crew,” she says, still trying to persuade me.

“And I’m asking you not to share this.”

I don’t know what else I can say. I really don’t think it’s so difficult to understand why I don’t want to become this ship’s resident outcast, shunned for my randomly acquired random monstrous abilities, but Aspen is taking another moment to think about my request.

It turns out to be a much shorter pause than the rest of her hesitations have been. After she comes to her conclusion, she steps back towards the wall and unhooks the latch to open the porthole window. The sound of the waves lapping up against the boat gets significantly louder, taking center stage instead of just being a background irritation.

“Here, you can toss your extra eye out through this. Feed some fish.”

[dragonthunders01]

Spectember D10: Fantastic Biology

In a universe where space is not an empty place, but filled by a nebulous substance which the inhabitants of earth call “the ether”, life has evolved to adapt there, they do take advantage of the condition of this realm on which planets and objects orbits and theoretically also across star systems. And within these spaces live thrives as wanderers of the ether.

There is a sort of ecosystem of between these spaces which sustains strongly around asteroids, near habitable areas of our solar system, and around pockets of dense matter that the gas giants accumulate in their orbit trajectory, these remain far of the planets but move nearby. Many beings of the different habitable bodies have managed to jump over and colonize other nearby worlds in many cycles of migratory and invasive waves, though for what it matters only few have been able to properly dominate the travel through the ether, remaining as the endless travelers of large distances, observed by the earth astronomers for millennials of different cultures remaining unknown for the limited view of those.

Among the most remarkable in the ancient literature and modern research there are the mostly recognized as the “Aether bullets” or often called popularly as the “Flamboyant Wanderers”, they resemble a mix of a squid and comb jellies they are large, up to 10 to 15 meters in length, the name flamboyant often comes of their strange iridescent coloration that shines when their soft parts are exposed to the light, often visible as multicolor dots in a clear night sky. For the other name, these are referred as bullets for their peculiar way to move across the space, as they do not travel using their fin like appendages, instead they push their bodies using what it seems to be a peculiar system of explosive blasts they generate from the inside of their bodies, which these concentrate internally in a pair of long blade organs that act as combustion chambers.

We are unable to know how this process happened as the only available way to see it happen is by long distance observations, but for inferences of different accounts and analysis of these, they might be combusting large quantities of hydrogen and other combusting gases they blast off from a middle orifice, behind a disk-like structure they extend while their body contract inside the shell, with a conical hat like structure that give it a bullet like shape. When the explosion happens, the disk absorbs the force of the explosion, pushing the body ahead of the direction they took, increasingly these consecutively blasts move the large mass until it reach velocity and move out of the range of view, is considered their travels could last months and even few years depending of the region of space they want to travel.

Is still difficult to catch on these active creatures, as even though humanity has finally archived space travel is barely enough to get close to these unique ether residents, only matter of time and more research will tell us what are their secrets.

[ignylinn]

TLT and actual science

Some time ago I posted some questions on the first resurrection and science here and had a wonderful discussion with @stranded-cryptid

We got stuck cause none of us knew enough physics :) so if anyone understands it better, I would so like an input or commentary.

But the ultimate question that came out of this discussion for me is:

Can TLT space necro magic be somewhat explained within the scope of our current scientific knowledge?

Or, can TLT be more or less hard sci-fi?

I know it can be so. Simmons explained religion and mysticism through science, and science through religion and mysticism in The Fall of Hyperion. The whole thing looked like err.. abrahamic space fantasy, right until the last part of the second book. And TLT can also be categorized as abrahamic space fantasy.

So, what do we know:

John DID have a scientific explanation for what was going on with thalergy/thanergy. He was going to write down his theory and to get it published. He turned it into a magic and a cult later because of circumstances and pressure. At least, that's what he says in Nona.

Thalergy, as far as it looks, is not directly connected to life. Jod murders completely lifeless planets in Solar system, and still gets his thanergy and Resurrection Beasts.

No thalergy/thanergy comes from moons, no Resurrection Beasts there.

Sun is not involved in thalergy/thanergy, there is no Sun Resurrection Beast. I suspect it applies to all stars and also to black holes.

Thanergy is somehow connected to wormholes (the River, might be also steles)

No necromancy in space. Yes necromancy on a planet.

Necros are able to produce additional mass out of nowhere (constructs made out of a single bone)

It does not add up for me, because I do not have enough knowledge, but what I think:

John and his team were working in cryogenics. I think they accidentally discovered not a solution for cryogenic, but some thing to keep thanergy (and possibly thalergy) within the body, when naturally it just dissipates. Prolonged exposure to thanergy is what gave John his powers. This also might explain why Augustine, Mercy and Gideon became necros - they were working with John originally and for a long time, and Alfred, Cristabel and Pyrrha did not - they joined much later.

I also think that thalergy is connected to gravity somehow. I mean, this explains lifeless planets but not moons - planets are gravitational centres of satellite systems. Stars are either too massive or maybe it is because of fusion in the core, or maybe it is cause stars a results of gravitational collapse, or idk. It also might explain why the Houses have artificial gravity. I mean, John is our contemporary or very close, and it looks like all resources were poured to FTL fleet. I mean, if they had artificial gravity and could build sustainable structures in space, why would they even consider leaving the system. Sounds cheaper to start terraforming Mars or just move to space.

River as a wormhole. Might be an actual wormhole and humans experiencing fifth dimension. We are not suited for 5th dimension. Mind just produces some supplement puctures, and that is why everyone sees Ressurection Beasts differently. But death-connected rivers or bodies of water is a very universal picture. Also, River is a cultural convention by this point. Also might explain why John was able to look into the body of other person and to easily change something in it.

Why thalergy is connected to life? Anoher theory I have is that it is connected to complex and developing structures (like, babies have more thanergy than an adult, and cancer is also), and thanergy is connected to enthropy?

Also, on thalergy/thanergy, it looks like thalergy is some form of particle, and thanergy is the decay?

So, all in all it just might look like some poking into fundamental interactions and theory if everything.

[herballwitch]

Let's Talk About The Moon: Phases, Science, Moon Lead Manifestation, + Spiritual Practices

Hello everyone! My name is Alva Tauri (she/they). I am an herbalist, spirit worker, tarot reader, and witch dedicated to helping close the education gap when it comes to herbalism and witch practices!

As we are over halfway through the year now and rapidly coming upon a new one, I thought I'd take some time to talk about moon phases, astrology, and witchcraft related to the moon as well as the science behind the moon, as I believe it is extremely important to have an understanding of the science to use right alongside your practice.

If you have any questions about this writing that you feel I did not touch on, please let me know in my ask box! I would love to answer any and all questions you may have!

With that being said, let's get started!

The Science of The Moon

Let's ask the most obvious question we can ask... "What is the moon?"

Well, the Earth's Moon is the brightest and largest object in our night sky. The Moon does a lot for us, and, quite literally, makes the Earth a livable planet. For starters, the moon moderates our planet's wobble on its axis, giving us a relatively stable climate, and the moon also causes tides to form in our oceans, creating a rhythm that has guided humans for thousands of years. (Nasa)

The axis that the moon wobbles along around our Earth is an average of 238,855 miles (384,399 km) away. It travels around our planet once every 27.322 days in an elliptical orbit, an elongated circle. It spins on its axis exactly once each time it orbits our planet. Because of this, people on Earth only ever see one side of the Moon. This is called motion synchronous rotation. (Nasa)

While we could go immensely more into the details about the moon, its axis, its wobble, and what it does for the Earth (as well as countless other topics we didn't even touch on), the key here is that you understand the basics, which are: 1) we could not live without the moon. We would quickly die out. Our entire planet wouldn't be the same. Life would cease to exist. 2) the moon wobbles on it's axis and we can only ever see one side of it because of this (motion synchronous rotation), and 3) because of the moons axis and wobble, as well as the rotation of the Earth, the moon has phases. Let's talk about those.

The Phases of The Moon

In our entire solar system, the only object that shines with its own light is the Sun. The moon does not have it's own natural light. Instead, the light from the sun beams onto the Earth and the Moon from the ever constant direction of the Sun. Because we and the moon are always moving, the Sun only ever illuminates half of our planet in its orbit and. However, that light hits the moon as well and then reflects off it's surface and shines down onto Earth creating moonlight. Like Earth, the Moon has a day side and a night side, which change as the Moon rotates. The Sun always illuminates half of the Moon while the other half remains dark. (Nasa)

Now, because only part of the moon is ever illumined due to the Sun's stagnant position, we have moon phases!

As you can see in the photo above, we have eight different moon phases: new moon, waxing crescent, first quarter, waxing gibbous, full moon, waning gibbous, last quarter, and waning crescent.

Now, here is where we are going to end off the science portion of this post. If you are curious to learn more about the science of the moon, I recommend checking out this page here from NASA, or any of the pages I linked in my work above! They have a lot of incredible resources you can find on their site and I greatly encourage checking those out.

For now, let's talk about how the moon works with witchcraft!

Manifestation and The Moon

NOTE BEFORE WE BEGIN: I have done extensive research into the moon, its phases, it's science and typical moon witch practices to help me make decisions on how I personally like to work with the moon. It is important for me to preface that the way I practice does not have to be the way you practice. Moon magic is not one size fits all. These are my recommendations, but you do not have to follow them. Simply use my words as a starting part and then take off from there, doing whatever feels right for you! With that being said, let's begin:

Now that we have an understanding of the science behind the moon and how moon phases work from a scientific standpoint, let's talk about my favorite moon related resources as a practitioner of witchcraft.

the yearly hour by hour moon phases video (2024)

NASA's daily moon guide, which shows you what the moon looks like each day

moon phase calendar (2024)

the moon observation journal printout

Moonology by Yasmin Boland

Each of these resources is an important part of my practice and all (aside from the last) of these resources are completely free to use!

Though you do not have to use all or any of these resources in your practice, I wanted to mention them before I started discussing the in's and out's of moon manifestation so that you could have a strong idea of how you could use these tools in each setting.

With that being said, let's discuss the moon phases within witchcraft:

Each of the eight phases of the moon is representative different phases within your manifestation and your practice within witchcraft. Let's discuss each of them and how I like to spend each phase:

₊˚⊹ New Moon: the new moon is widely considered the first of the moon cycles. this phase lasts one singular day. in this phase, as noted in the chart above, the moon is completely invisible to us. for this reason, the new moon is associated with new beginnings. when you see the presence of a new moon, this is the right time for a fresh start and to start new projects. For example, this is a great time to start manifesting a new goal or to create new intentions. It is also great time for journaling and cleaning your environment. The new moon is associated with erasing bad energy from your life, so take this time for self care, spending time alone, and planning for whatever is new to your life.

₊˚⊹ Waxing Crescent: the waxing crescent is the next phase in the moons cycle. this phase lasts about a week and is a good for manifestations. take advantage of this time. what things do you want to achieve? are you looking for a new job, wealth, health? Write down your intentions and do a manifestation practice. This moon reminds us that we can clearly visualize the things we want. Positive thinking during this time is crucial. This moon represents change, and what you think about will come your way. This time could strengthen your self-confidence and sense of self-worth or could lessen it. Your state of mind matters. This moon is good for visualization, intentions, affirmations, a clear plan, goals.

₊˚⊹ First Quarter: the next phase is the first quarter, when approximately half the moon is visible and half is invisible. this phase lasts one day. the light and dark side of the moon being equivalent represents the importance of balance. each phase of the lunar cycle marks another phase of development with your intentions and manifestations. this is the halfway point in the cycle. now that we've spent some time manifesting and setting intentions, it's time to take action and start focusing on what you can do to bring you closer to your goal. there is an energy boost that many tend to feel during the first quarter, as it is associated with power and growth of internal energies and relationships. use this boost to your advantage. go get what you want.

₊˚⊹ Waxing Gibbous: the next phase is the waxing gibbous. the moon is more than half full now. this phase lasts another six to seven days. the waxing gibbous is great for rituals and spells, and manifestation and meditation magic. use this time to focus on healing and manifesting money, wealth, and confidence. this moon is the perfect time to look over your intentions and plans one more time and sharpen your goals. look at everything you've accomplished so far and feel a sense of pride. you deserve it. the waxing gibbous reminds us that our manifestations will come if we are patient.

₊˚⊹ Full Moon: the moon is now completely visible. this phase lasts one day and is known to hold the most power, so make it count. the full moon will give you the strength to overcome all the obstacles and challenges you face. manifestations of our goals that we have been waiting for should be developing rapidly. your sowed the seeds of intention and they are now developing and ready to bloom. you're still going through a transformation, but you should now be beginning to see abundance coming your way. the full moon is the perfect time for tarot/oracle reading, or any divination practice. this is also another good time to cleanse your space and your crystals (if you use them). the full moon is also a time for creativity and letting go. use this time to be thankful, to express yourself, and to let go of the past.

₊˚⊹ Waning Gibbous: the next phase is the waning gibbous, where the moon is slowly starting to disappear again. once again, this phase lasts about six days. during the waning gibbous, the high and often uncontrollable power of the full moon is known to create a welcome energy from the sea (sea magic practitioners will want to take note of this). this makes it the perfect time for magic related to reduction, expelling, banishing, cleansing of negative energy. up until now, the moon has encouraged you to define yourself and your goals more clearly. it has asked you what your inner workings should reflect to the outside. however, now the moon asks you to clear out anything within you that no longer support your higher purpose. this is a great time for gratitude practices.

₊˚⊹ Last Quarter: the second to last of the moon phases is the last quarter, which lasts for one day. cut this day out for you to take time to think, engage in activities that make you happy, and put yourself first. this is also a good phase for any personal physical change (new haircut, piercing, tattoo, etc.). this phase is yet another reminder within the lunar cycle of how important balance is in our lives, and an important part of balance is slowing down. do that today. during this moon phase, the moon's energy is waning, so you may feel that you have less energy than usual. it's okay to relax and to lean into that. note, this phase also allows you to let go of any blockages you may have. start breaking a bad habit you may have today. remove whatever drains your energy and throws you off balance from your life. look back on all that you have accomplished and to reflect on the lessons learned and rest.

₊˚⊹ Waning Crescent: this is the last phase of the cycle. here the moon is almost completely gone. this phase lasts about seven days. use this time to practice magic for healing, to meditate, to rest and take care of your well-being. practice gratitude. since the moon's energy is waning during this phase, it is very likely that this will affect your personal energy level. this should remind you that rest is a necessary step in ending the old cycle before starting a new one. don't be tempted to overdo it. focus on activities that recharge you. avoid activities that rob you of energy. focus on letting go of everything that has already passed. what happened during this lunar cycle is firmly rooted in the past, where nothing can be changed anymore. let the waning crescent remind you that you are not always in control and learn to feel comfort in that. meditation, gratitude, and healing should be your main focus during this last week.

And that is it for the moons phases, science, manifestation and spiritual practices! I hope that you found this helpful in your spiritual journey and I hope that you are able to apply this information to your practice.

Once again, if you have any questions regarding anything discussed here or anything you feel that I have missed, please send an ask to my ask box! I appreciate all comments and questions!

For more information on my practice, witchcraft, herbalism, spirit work, and divination please check out the guide on my page (linked here)! Everything I have ever posted can be found there!

I wish you all a blessed day filled with peace, endless wealth, and eternal health! Until the next time we meet!

[ask-thearchivists]

Do you collectors have any holidays or festivals or whatnot you celebrate?

{It's going under a read more this got way too long.}

The Charmer: The Coordinator knows more about these things than any of us. Due to our lifespans we perceive time slightly differently than you, and due to the complete and utter lack of a planet we could designate as home, our way of measuring time is unfamiliar to your own traditions. We have large celebrations for personal milestones, we have other celebrations for certain astrological events specific to our assigned galaxy, that you might compare to a "holiday" as we do celebrate. But they happen over such an extended period of time with even more time in-between that the festivities and practices we adopt would seem incomprehensible to you.

The Cartographer: Oh I remember some of the major holidays. There is only one holiday I recall that works on a scale larger than Galactic, Which is the celebration of the Grand Constellation. I don't think she ever explained what that is, but it's what we refer to the Universe as. On planets, constellations are made of stars, for us in space we are moving through the stars so quickly that any one solar system's constellations mean nothing to us very quickly. Instead we measure things using the Grand Constellation, an expanse so great that even the quickest and most skilled Collectors may never be able to travel it completely.

The Cartographer: So anyways we celebrate the creation of the Grand Constellation once a Comet for the length of 100 Orbits. That's 1/1000th of the length of a Comet, so pretty reasonable. Uuuh, an Orbit is similar to one year for your species. It is celebrated at the end of a Comet, so we finished our last, and first, Flare celebration 23 Orbits ago. None of us are old enough to have had one previously. Besides that the holidays we celebrate mark certain things in our assigned galaxy. We have Galactic Equinoxes and Solstices, these are measured by tracking the orbit of the closest inhabited solar system to the center of the galaxy, seasonal attributes are assigned according to the cardinal directions of the Grand Constellation. The Autumnal Equinox will actually begin next Orbit, and last for 10 Orbits.

The Cartographer: The festivities for our Autumnal Equinox involve mourning traditions, because it is symbolic of the inevitable decline in life anything that lives will face. For the first five Orbits we fast as much as we are able while still conducting our jobs, really traditional Collectors will cut their hair short, but this is not necessary. The last five orbits we feast by indulging more in our consumption of astral energies and radiations. Another practice is Oblivion, where we enact minor changes to our Collecting, like if Cleaning is determined as necessary during the Equinox we abstain from the burning of the planet. Instead, we Collect everything with our star constructs according to minimum criteria as quickly as possible, and then leave them. I think it's...silly, it's meant to enforce to the mortals their powerlessness in the face of grand cosmic indifference.

The Curator: For our own personal milestones we celebrate new births by feasting on a dying star, allowing the newborn to eat as much as they want, hoping they will grow strong and powerful as an adult. First Collections are very important, and unless there is something extremely aberrant, we are meant to only guide. This is a sort of birthday celebration by the way. Another sort of birthday celebration is the Naming Ceremony. This is the last birthday a Collector will be super tiny and mortal sized, before growing into the size they will be as an adult Collector, and we commemorate this with the official assignment of their title and job in the Archive, thus becoming an official Archivist. It would be the second birthday after the First Collection, or about 500 Orbits later. The last major milestone before typical ones like living for your first Comet and such, is the celebration of the Collector becoming an adult, and earning the full responsibilities of their job. This happens 1,500 orbits after the previous one.

[zaparasguru]

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟSpace ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Space is so much more than our solar system, far more interesting than where we lay. Beyond the Kuiper belt lays many mysteries and beautiful stars, planets, nebulae, and so many more sights we cannot see with the bare eye.

Many people think of aliens as such a fantasy and unrealistic. If you think about it from an open perspective, it sounds maintain. In the Kepler belt lies a dwarf planet known as “Ceres” this dwarf planet used to be a roman sea planet. It being a roman sea planet leads many astrobiologists and astronomers to believe that the dwarf planet used to have fish before earth did.

Following up on the thought about alien creatures, Earth isn’t the only planet humans can survive on. There are many other planets known as “Super-Earths” which have very similar characteristics as Earth, but have small differences. Kapteyn B, for example, is a Super-Earth 12 light years away from earth. The temperatures are extremely similar to Earth, gravitys very similar, and it’s a great length away from the star as well as it’s tidally locked. Kapteyn B’s star, Kapteyn, is 3000 K, which is remotely colder than the Sun, yet Kapteyn B is close to Kapteyn. This leaves the temperature of Kapteyn B to be around 80-150 degrees, which is extremely hot for Earth; yet at livable conditions. Astrobiologists and astronomers believe that there is water on this planet. Making it suitable for life.

The downside of Kapteyn B is there is no natural satellite, which is what our moon is. No natural satellite means that there is nothing producing photovoltaic cells. What photovoltaic cells do is convert sunlight into electricity. It would be harder, but we could still produce electricity. With all these qualities, it’s not so different from earth. So whats stopping natural selection from affecting these other Earth-like planets?

ﾟ｡Stars ﾟ｡

Stars are what make the night sky so pretty, but they have more purpose than to simply look pretty. The most influential star to Earth is our sun. Our suns most obvious job is to provide warmth and UV rays for earth, but it does so much more than we would think.

Stars create a substance called “Hydrostatic Equilibrium”, which is the balance between gravity. This keeps every planet in our solar system as one piece by pulling it together with its opposite reaction of the pressure trying to blow it apart. Which keeps it together in the end.

In the center of every star the core is the hottest part. When the star is hot enough it creates “Nuclear Fusion”, nuclear fusion that keeps our atmosphere breathable, keeping out long-lived radioactive waste and greenhouse gases.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟLight Travel ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Albert Einstein had once done a study on how humans will never travel the speed of light. Light is the fastest moving thing in the entire universe that we have discovered. No manmade creation will ever replicate the speed of light or even come close to.

With our disadvantage of speed we will never be able to explore and uncover the mysteries of the entire universe. Our knowledge will always remain limited of the unknown. As of 2024 the farthest the human eye can see with a telescope is 14 billion light years. Which is extremely far, but our universe will always be so much further.

Us as humans will likely never leave our solar system. With our current space travel it would take us thousands of years to travel a single light year, the closest solar system to ours is approximately 4 light years.

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟWhy going to Mars isn’t a great idea ☆ﾟ.*

Mars is a huge change from Earth. Our water sources would only come from ice and water from under the surface, which would take a lot of time to get the one body of water to the entire planet. Which would be exhausting and the water wouldn’t last long of a planet of 8 billion people.

Mars is significantly smaller than Earth, which decreases the planets eightfold and making the gravity much lighter than Earth’s. This would make us have to change our entire scaling system across the entire world for our health benefit. Gravity isn’t the only problem, Earth struggles with overpopulation as it is. If everyone from Earth move to Mar’s it would be extremely crowded and overpopulated.

Resources would be scarce and we would have to rely on Earth. Mars doesn’t have any animals, meat would end up being a luxury because all the animals would be brought up from Earth. If we have to rely on Earth and continuously having to make trips back and forth it would end up being extremely expensive.

We would have to set our government up again. People would have to come to a mutual agreement on if we should keep or change our ways from what they were on earth. Either way, what we do would end up becoming a constant war for who owns what land and what land belongs to what country.

We would have to start over completely and start plantations and all sorts of farms. Starting farms on Mars though would be tricky because of all the toxic elements in the soil that would get into our food that we would end up digesting. Which could slowly lead to us being poisoned.

ﾟ.*･｡ﾟFun facts about my favorite planet

An exoplanet called LHS 1140 B orbits around a G-type star and is bigger than earth, people do say that with the atmosphere of the planet, the planet could very much support the existence of water. One day in 2017 they found oxygen molecules surronding the planet. Which is a good sign because then you know well oxygen on the planet can be breathed in safely. The planet is 140+ light years away, making it absolutely impossible to ever colonize.

[whiteeyes-is-a-mad-scientist]

Big sci fi lore dump

@mango-water I never pass up an opportunity to explain my sci fi lore. I tried to sort the images into groups to better explain.

(first 5 images) So big chunk of this world started with an oc named plum who i made very quickly before a comic class. She works with the 7 vulpes who kinda keep the whole universe running. Shes from a planet that has been destroyed and she doesnt remember much of. The 7 vulpes work within our solar system as it is the least populated so staying hidden is easy, the hall of fox (5th photo) hides nicely here. Plum is the newest member as Neptune, her teacher, disappeared. The others arent fond of this as plum doesnt quite know what shes doing yet. Plums main weapon is a button that holds a bunch of evil creature souls, these souls bend and morph into any weapon she needs. While helpful this almost makes her greatest enemy the god of monsters (not shown in any images) Her other enemy is currently her husband Walter (3rd photo) as after the destruction of his planet and what he thought was the loss of his wife he fell to evil influences. Hes currently on a path of pure destruction and is loosing himself, he doesnt even know the hero who keeps stopping him is plum.

(images 6-9, slighty shown in image 12) Sun dogs! The strongest protectors of the galaxy... or at least they were before they grew so distant that many think of them as only legend now. Sun dogs are women from all planets and world chosen by the stars (a goddess like figure but she prefers not to be referred to as such, thinking of her as a mom is much prefered) Most of these sun dogs live on a hidden planet named Olvora but some like Elanor (girl in the 12th image and comic at the bottom) grow up on different planets and make their way to Olvora later. The queens (image 7) Lo'uk yel and Puk na' ashaya (names are from a vulcan name generator i have not made a language for the sun dogs yet lol) teenage friends turned lovers. Lo showed great leadership and skill quickly becoming the previous queens apprentice. Lo gained popularity quickly and Puk felt she needed to impress lo too, so she hopped in the ring and sadly bit off more than she could chew. It did lead to her confessing feelings tho. The two have a very professional royalty look but behind closed doors they still have a lot of alien cats and giggle over movies n romance books. Some other notable sun dogs include the blue robot lady (image 9, whos name i still need to pick out) she was badly injured and thought she had lost the ability to shift into her sun dog form forever but with some help from a cyborg she was able to regain the spirit she needed. The trapped sun dog (image 6, also needs a name) a long forgotten warrior who was captured a long time ago. She now powers a ship with a mysterious captain whos not up to anything good. Lastly theres the torn one whom we will get into later

(images 10 and 11) Sonia and Ovvus. Sonia was the first human to make contact with others. Her first contact being with Ovvus a head scientist and communications officer on one of system x's many exploring fleets. The two are how the other planets got info on humans and how humans got info on the other planets. Earths government isnt very fond of system x nor the other planets and has stayed to itself, while many humans have left the planet and moved due to distrust in the earthly government. (on earth everything has kinda melded into one government and if you have money you have the loudest voice in choices. Many have found that exploration, invention, and creativity have haulted in favor of profit.) The two recently had a son, Orion, which has become everything their life revlolves around. The two rarely go on months long exploration jobs any more and stay on Torbin in their little farm home.

(images 12-14) System X! A big piece of the entire lore. All started on lined paper in my sophmore year math class. The mother planet (the biggest one) has the other 4 planets revolving around it. in order: Geutune (the dusty eye), Torbin (the green planet), Dostruga (the hungry giant), and Zinus (the icy planet). each unique in there own way. The system of planets moves throughout the universe absorbing stars, destroying enemy fleets with ease, and overall being a pretty intimidating force. Thankfully leadership on system x has always kept fair and does its best to provide for its citizens. Each planet has a ruler but those rulers report to the sovereign on the mother planet. Most if not all of the rulers have a council elected by the citizens of each planet.

(images 15-18) Qex are originally from the mother planet and are still the most populous on the planet. When designing them they had a opossum and nebula influence. Zets originate from Geutune. Their legs are built for sand and speed which comes in handy on the dusty planet constantly whipped by wind. As you can tell they are very rabbit based lol. Drok originate from Dostruga and they had a dragon and octopus inflence. Dostruga has a lot of giant creatures and plants making muscles and extra appendages a must. Drok use their tendril hair to express and pick up things often. Thron originate from Zinus. was thinking about unicorns and horses when making them. They often have a lot of hair to keep warm on the icy planet, the extra claws help to grab onto snow, and their horns can glow when they need light. (not pictured below) but the Tez'le originate from torbin. They have anntenna and 4 arms. Very bug based to match their plant covered planet

(images 19-21) Some concept pieces of various things. Otherworldly battle horses with sci fi armor. Sun eaters, a species of mindless beasts that devour suns. A big threat to the universe as they are giant and unstoppable. The only known weakness they have is sun dogs. Usually these beasts are solitary so they dont pose too much of a threat other than the occassional attack on a sun that is warming a planet, but in groups they are very destructive. Walter, plums husband, is currently pushing these beasts toward each other, creating a giant hoard of them. Theres no telling how many stars this group will be able to devour. A dragon warship. The concept art was made for a different planets warship but it might become a design for a system x style one

(all the last images) A comic I made in my last comic class i could attend. its a 12 page thing so I couldnt fit it all here but this is where the sun dog plot line is currently left off. The torn one is a sun dog general who was sucked into a blackhole but managed to escape its grasp. not without injury though. Her features were enlongated and her old heroic leader self was gone. The general turned on her troops and destroyed them all. She was unable to be stopped due to her unstable core which could go supernova any second. Elanor wasnt fully aware of this and fought the sun dog anyways. The battle worked up the torn one enough that her core couldnt sustain her and blew up.

OK THATS ALL MY RAMBLING FOR TODAY lmao im so sorry there is so much and its a big ol mess rn

plus theres so many other little tid bits that I didnt include 😭🙏