#(also happy holidays!! or happy days in general ^^ i'm trying so hard to exist lol)

[keesespuffs]

i find it hilarious that my ship with raven beak is more fleshed out than quiet robe's, yet it's also so much more complicated to work with.

[popculturebuffet]

The Proud Family: Seven Days of Kwanzaa Review (Commission For Weirdkev27)

Happy Kwanzaa all you happy people! Yeah the holiday celebrations aren't done JUST yet as we have one more for you, as it's Kwanza time. Now some of you may be asking…

And i'ts simple: it's an african american holiday created by Maulana Karenga as a way to give the black community an alternative to christmas that wasn't as entrenched in white tradition, though eventually he relaxed things to allow one to celebrate both, the spirit of it, celebrating black culture and history, has remained.

Like Hannukah Kwanzaa hasn't gottne nearly as many specials as Christmas, but it makes what's there stand out all the more. It also makes this episode a bit of a disapointment. See it does show off the holiday well, so even white dumbasses like me can undrestand it. The problem is the rest of the story well….

Yeah while the special does seem to represent Kwanzaa well, as far as I can tell, like with Festival of LIghts i'm an outsider looking in and I know it and am trying my best to be respectful and not act like I thoughly know a holiday that I don't participate in and is very important to a community I don't know all that well, everything else.. isn't very good. It also has one of the most out of nowhere batshit endings i've seen in a long time. Like ti's somehwat set up but man oh man does this one take a weird swerve. So let's look at all this shall we.

The episode follows the Prouds on a typical Christmas where they do the tried and true plot device of shopping on Christmas Eve when hardly anyone does that.. they all do it the days before. What changes though is our proud family runs into a homeless family: Joseph< Margaret and Stephanie. And the show pulled out all the stops as despite being only 11 episodes in, they got Samuel L. Jackson, Vivica A Fox and Raven-Simone, all big names at the time and now, with Raven in paticualr being heavily pushed by the network. I fondly remember her cover of grazing in the grass from the LIon King 1 and 1/2 which I somehow didn't get around to mentoning during my review of that trainwreck earlier this year.

All talented people who naturally do wonderfully. Trudy tries to give to them, while Oscar is a dick about it, assuming jospeh trying to help him with a dropped package is just the man trying to get at ip, making a crack about how we'll be homeless after all these gift, and generally trying to be unpleasant as possible.

I get what the episode is trying to do: They built oscar into a strawman , but one you see all the time: the kind of dickhead who assumes being homeless is a choice, that the homeless are lazy, and that homeless are a plauge to be gotten rid of instead of people who may of lost jobs, not be able to afford housing, or were thrown out by their families for being LBGTQ+, having a mental illness or any number of understandable reasons. It's why I can't fault the episode for wanting to tackle the subject nor using Oscar as the bad guy as with his knee jerk reactions to most things, quick temper and generally douchsiness, it's not a stretch to say this character dosen't respect the homeless. It's why having him be bigoted towards homosexuals in Louder and Prouder also wasn't a huge shock, as Oscar easily strikes me as the kind of guy who while he can be convinced to not be a dickhead about something that really shodun't be that hard to put yoru head around like Gay people have a right ot exist or homeless people need love and empathy not to be shamed for something that's not remotely their fault, and given both things are STILL stuff people need convincing on in 2022, it works. I admire the team for creating an everyman who can be an unlikeable dick one minute and entirely sympathetic the next, and thus is fairly maliable for stories.. while still being a very distinct and hilarious character. You woudln't mistake oscar proud for anyone else but he has many traits both good and bad of a man of his time… and sadly often of a man now.

The problem is they lean on it a bit too hard as they have a scene of him PUTTING A DOLLAR ON A STRING AND YANKING IT FORM CHARITIES. I'm all for cartoony shenanigans, it's one of the things this show really does best, but this stretches it a bit too far. Having Oscar just.. glefully not give to charity is too low even for him. Him being homophobic is defintely lower than this, but at least he gets called out on it by more than one person and got constantly humaited for it till his eventgual ephinay. Here he just gets mildly called out by penny and.. gives to charity later. it dosen't change the fact he was this bad. Oh and he gets a bit muddy and mistaken for homeless. BECAUSE IT'S SO BAD TO GET MISTKAEN FOR HOMELESS WHEN YOUR NOT HOMELESS AND SUCH AH IGH CRIME A YUK YUK YUK.

While this episode TRIES to be empathetic to the homeless it stumbles pretty bad in how it treats them. See there ar epeople who choose not to have a home, who live inc ampers or what have you and want to live the van or rv life. And tha'ts fine: if i't sfinacially sound for you or just th eoption you have, nothing worng with that. The film Nomadland outlines this wohle life style lovingly while not skimping on it's hardships or what would make people choose this. I highly recommend it, true masterpiece.

The problem is the episode comes off really confused as a result as it conflates the kind of people you see on the street begging just to survivie.. with someone who for their own reasons choose. The episode conflates being homeless with some higher calling, as if it's better than having possesions or being chained to the corprations that love our lives. And i'mnot saying living in an rv by choice or what have you isn't. I'm throughly aware captalisim is throughly broken. Wanting to break from it for something diffrent isn't a shame.

The shame.. is assuming all people living on the streets are doing so voluntarily. I dont' think that was the writers intent, but it's the way the episode comes off. The Angel Adults come off very preachy, with Joseph's response to getting christmas gifts, a well meaning gesture by trudy to make sure they too can celebrate by saying he isn't part of the corprations "end of the year selling scheme". or something to that effect. Basically

See it's one thing to me to critcize the captatlist nature of america: the system is often broken, we do often fill our needs with stuff, and we do often put too much importance on having stuff. I agree with it that far. But shaming someone for trying to give you a gift or invite you into their home comes off gross. Am I saying the Prouds are on some higher plane devoid of critcisim of their lifestyles because they were nice enough (or rather everyone but oscar were nice enough), to invite some people needing a warm meal into their home? Fuck no. While what Trudy and Penny are doing is noble, and Oscar is a butt for not going along with it, they can still be flawed> Trudy herself is pretty awful this episode: She gets oscar a nice watch, which itself isn't bad, she said they weren't doing gifts but does something nice fo rhim anyway.. but her expecting a gift RIGHT AFTER both telling oscar they didn't have to and having himn bring that up is shitty. Now granted him trying to cover with a fruit cake the Angels just gave him IN FRONT OF HER was bad and her trying to give his watch to joseph was fair enough as a result, but it's still shitty to give a gift just to expect someone to give it to you in return. That's .. not what christmas is about. I gave kev a gift soley beacuse he's a good friend, and he gave me one back soley to be nice and in the spirit of things. I got Digimon Cookie Cutters because Kev was being enerous and decided to return the sentiment, not because I was expecting him to give me anything. That's how Christmas should work. It's in the good spirit to return a gift with a gift, but it's not why you do it.

The problem is Joesph criticizes their whole middle class life style and won't shut up about it for a chunk of the episode: he outright says the corprate scheme thign while his wife and daughter understandably feel a tad akward not celebrating the holiday, but are polite about it. It's fine to crticize the worse aspects of christmas, MANY a work has crictized how commerical it is all the way back to charlie brown over 40 years ago. But to do so to someone whose welcomed you into their home for the nobelest of reasons, made sure you got a nice gift, and has been NOTHIGN but kind to you isn't right. He coudl've just said "i'm sorry we don't celebrate christmas, but we aprpicate the gesture" There, done. He also does needle oscar later about his materliasim.. but at least there he has what SEEMS to be the high ground and the poitn he makes is a very good one for any holiday: that the family you have is yoru true home, not the stuff.

It also helsp that only oscar.. acts matierlizstic. When Martha does the same to trudy, saying they got tired of captalistic society in so many words, Trudy has again DONE nothing. When Jospeh talks abotu the proceeses turkey goes through, NO ONE had done anything. I get ther'es a lot to critcisie, and i'm not of the shut up and take it school of thought myself.. but when no one is actively being a dick about these topics, maybe just.. let it go. I get not backing down with politics, as some issues like trans rights, gay rights, and black lives mattering.. are all things that shouldn't be talked down and if someone says somnething stupid about them, I get fighting for it. Because it's not a two sided issue at all. Here though.. I coudl see the prouds getting a modified turkey because it's what they coudl find or afford or doing christmas because they enjoy the spirit of giving and family instead of JUST for the shit they get. Someone can be wrong and it be more complicated than that… having the Angels protrayed as entirely right just feels.. off. They feel smug. The end reveal, that in a way they AREN'T homeless, doesn't help that but we'll get to it. It feels like a very tonedeaf privlaged way to write a homeless person: not as a person but some crticising morallly righteous pillar.

The next part does work better, as they come back the next day to celebrate Kwanzaa.. by just.. manefesting into the house.

SO we get a nice education on Kwanzaa, how i'ts more abotu the spirit of family and community, how it's celebrated, and going over the 7 nights, mostly through montage. And this is where the episode honestly shines: Kwanzaa is underrepsrented and not knowing it well myself it was nice to learn what each nigh twas about. it's only real flaw.. is that it's too little of the episode. The setup for this could've been done much faster. I do say a scene with Penny's friends being standoffish with her new friend for being homeless, and her admitting she's fine with it and that her parents are so close their her best friends and she likes reading, is nice: ther'es no stigma for her nor is she a lesson for them to learn, as NONE of those entitled shits learn it. She's just how she is and if they dont' accept it it's on them.

But otherwise.. it w oudl've been nicer to have more of the 7 nights and to show oscar's character growth more convincingly as by the end he likes them. This special.. really needed to be an hour or at least be more about this. Instead they tack on christmas just to get both holidays out of the way and tack on oscar being a douche so he can learn a lesson I guess> the only bit they coudln't of cut out is bobby. Seeing him come down the chimeny was a late christmas present as I had no idea he was in this one. Any episode with Bobby is a good time, and the fact he knows Kwanzaa the best out of the prouds made me smile.

But the spirit of family and community, of them singing songs, giving to charity, just basking in each others togetherness.. that really moved me and made me want to learn more about the holiday. It's a well constructed beautiful holiday not based on getting, but on simply togetherness and ones roots and I admire it for that. I just wish the episode was more about celebrating that and less about a half assed homelesness aseop that woudl've been better served not being shoved into this episode.

The episode also would've worked better.. if the ending wasn't so baffling. Felix returns early needing a forman and since Joesph worked in construction Oscar goes lookign for him.. only for the shelter lady to have no recelction of them visting. The prouds are happy for what the Angels brought them.. only to return home to find their fruitcake has turned into a cool tehcncolor tree.. and the angels are above it, apparenlty being spirits or something having come to teach them about kwanzaa before returning to I guess.. heaven?

This is easily the most baffling ending to a work i've reviewed.. and keep in mind i've reviewed "Scrooge buys an island and pays actors just to teach louie a lesson". The threshold is pretty vast but "Kwanzaa angels" kinda tops it. Not only does it DEMOLISH the homelessness aseop, as they arne't homeless and don't seem to be the ghosts of a homeless family, but it makes all the "their world is better " posteruting that was already packed with unforunate impilcations even worse. Their just beign condescnding.. for no reason. Joesph is a dick because he's an angel. He dosen't have to actually life without food or running water and thus really can't back up his claims. It's heaven. They've got all you can eat and free every media you can imagine and rideable giant pigs. You can't critcize someone for living in a captalist society when you live in heaven, where captalism is dead and you can have whatever you want and party with Leslie Jordan , Prince, David BOwie, Ed Asner , Betty White, Jesus himself…

This episode meant well.. but sometimes meaning well only gets you so far in my good graces. This episode woudl've been better off as one episode about homelessness and another about Kwanzaa angels, which is a sentence I was indeed paid to write but really wish hadn't happened. I really wish this was a better episode, this holiday deserves better and so does the proud family. Maybe they can try again in a future season of Louder and Prouder. one.. can certainly hope.

[quaranmine]

Hello! As a Canadian who lives near the summer wildfires, I have never directly experienced a wildfire myself, but have had to deal with the yearly smoke that covers my city for a few weeks to a few months all summer. Some years are certainly better than others (there wasn't any smoke last year whereas this year has been one of the worst), but the smoke is becoming more of a constant issue to deal with. My family used to go away on summer holidays to a particularly wildfire prone area, but we've stopped going after two years of our holiday being ruined by smoke and even a fire close to our campsite. Couldn't even go to the beach for more than an hour. A few years ago we went to a small town that had the thickest smoke I've ever seen in my life. The people standing right next to me appeared to be hazy even though they couldn't have been more than a meter away. I took a picture right off a dock where we were staying, which I'm happy to share.

An interesting trend I've noticed is that people here are becoming more apathetic to the smoke? Like a few years ago on a smoky day there would hardly be anyone outside. But right now when I go out there are tons of people exercising, walking, and socializing despite the unsafe conditions. I think people here are tired of the smoke ruining their summers and are more willing to ignore it so they can enjoy themselves. My parents say that the smoke here during the 80's wildfires was worse, but I find that hard to believe? Idk.

Anyway I've really enjoyed hearing you talk about wildfires over this past little while! Hopefully things get better here soon but I'm fully expecting that the rest of the summer will be smoky here.

thank you so much!! especially for the photos :0 that's definitely some heavy smoke. it looks just like a foggy morning, but it's more ominous when you know it's smoke instead. i'm sorry your summers and summer activites are ruined by smoke.

i think people in general are experiencing environmental fatigue--literally every day there's some new thing on the news that's actually toxic, new (bad) climate news, new natural disasters, new environmental disasters, new water quality issues, new chemical studies, etc. for many of us, it's our entire lives. people are just tired, and the apathy is part of that. it's also why there is so much environmental/climate doomerism--people just think there's no point in trying anymore. so i can absolutely see that people might not care as much about the smoke anymore. especially following the pandemic, where a lot of people feel like they were robbed of doing activities and want to power on no matter what risks still exist.

unfortunately, apathy about environmental risks do not remove them. it's something i have to think about in my job, because many people are just like. you're telling me i have to worry about something else now too??? but like....yeah, unfortunately they do, because in some cases only knowledge and education will protect people and inform them on how to act.

that's a long few paragraphs to simply say: don't let fatigue of constant fire and smoke risk cause you to stop taking precautions, because it can and will still harm you.

i really feel for all of you in canada this summer, everything i've heard has sounded awful. the fire season this year is really bad.

[born-to-lose]

Lie to Me

Pairing: Archie Cruz x reader

Requested by @mrsjoeelliott and anon

Summary: Something has been wrong with you and Archie's relationship for a while. But do your attempts of fixing it even change anything?

Tags: angst, breakup

Words: 1,360

A/N: Is it appropriate to post angst for his birthday? Anyways, have some heartbreak! Sorry if it has no structure, blame it on my brain concussion

Tag list: @warriorteam1924 @satans-vengeance @smells-like-perfect-senses @thetimecrystal @sunflowerpumpkinpie

Tip me if you want!

You didn't know how other people who had been in a relationship for decades did it. You had been with Archie for not even two years and you already felt like something was really wrong.

At the beginning, you thought it just wasn't as exciting anymore as it used to be back when you were in your honeymoon period - which was a normal thing and generally nothing to worry about. Of course you had known that this time would come at some point, but no matter how hard you tried to bring back that old feeling, your relationship remained dull.

You often went places with him in an attempt to fix that issue, and while it was fun in the moment, it faded rather quickly. Archie, on the other hand, didn't seem to even make an effort. The problem wasn't that he didn't notice that your relationship was damaged - he knew it very well, yet he still decided to ignore it.

Despite living together, you spent less and less time with each other. Even when he wasn't working, he pretty much avoided doing things with you, claiming he was exhausted or going out with friends.

Only a couple of months ago, he would take you to the studio - and if you were simply sitting on the couch across from him and watching him in silence. He wanted to be with you and that didn't necessarily mean talking to you or actively doing something. Just your existence was enough sometimes.

Usually, you and Archie visited his mother on holidays, but now he didn't even talk about going. It was only when you came home and he wasn't there that you found out he had left on his own.

"(Y/n) isn't coming again?" his mother asked in a disappointed tone when she opened the door to see her son standing there alone - just like the last time.

"Oh… they've been too busy lately," he answered, secretly feeling bad for lying to her the moment he said that.

She had loved you since the moment you had been introduced to her and he was well aware of it. That was why he couldn't bring himself to tell her the truth. But what truth was there to tell? He didn't know what exactly was going on between the two of you. You hadn't broken up yet, but you couldn't call it a functioning relationship either. It was more of a decaying love on the brink of the abyss.

Archie was also distant in other ways. For example, he found any excuse not to touch you and when he accidentally did, he quickly pulled away as if he was touching a stranger inappropriately without wanting to. At first, you thought his libido was very low - which would be strange since he was almost always down to get dirty - so you decided to subtly help it along a bit by wearing a little more revealing clothes he used to love to see you in. But nothing changed. The most he could say was "you look pretty" and that was it.

And even when you went in for a kiss as you came home from work, he turned away and instead simply said hello. It didn't only happen because he was having a bad day. You kept trying for weeks until you realized he just didn't want to be close to you anymore.

Not even verbally, he expressed his love for you. No "I love you", no "I'm so happy to have you" or anything along these lines. Since he didn't let you listen to demo versions of his songs like he had always done before, you couldn't even analyze his lyrics to try and figure out what was happening.

Despite desperately wanting to find out what was wrong, you never really brought the subject up. The discussion that would most likely follow would be pointless anyway.

Didn't he trust you enough to finally let you know about his feelings? You had never kept secrets from each other, so why was he being so mysterious all of a sudden? You had noticed that his mental health was probably getting worse, but you weren't sure of it because you barely saw him anymore. He wouldn't let you in and be there for him, listen to him, help him.

Had he never been into you in the first place? If that was the case, he wouldn't have stayed with you for so long, right? In your opinion, one and a half years was quite a long time to date somebody you didn't love.

Perhaps you were naive or even too desperate for love, but you'd rather he lied to you and kept acting like everything was fine than letting you drown in despair, more questions coming up with each passing day.

After what felt like an eternity, Archie finally took you on a date again. A dinner date at a rooftop bar. Could be romantic in a different situation. Honestly, you were afraid because it definitely wasn't going to be all lovey-dovey, considering what had been going on these past months.

So far it was peaceful and he even pulled your chair out before you sat down. You were taking a sip of your drink when you noticed him looking at you, admiringly, for the first time in ages. It was the same look he had given you on your second date when he had confessed that he got it bad for you.

"Don't look at me like that," you said quietly, putting the glass down.

He blinked and slightly tilted his head. "Like what?"

You bit your lip, staring at your empty plate. "Like you still love me."

There was a short pause before he sighed. "I do love you… It's just- I think we should take a break."

You had seen that coming, but it still hurt. After all, why wouldn't he break up? The signs had been too clear. "A break…"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we'll never get back together. I just need some time to figure things out and I don't want to be a burden-"

"You're not a burden, Archie," you interrupted him. "I've seen you at your worst and now you don't want to even tell me how you feel? Do you not trust me anymore?"

"I do trust you," he said, tears welling up in his eyes. "But I know I can't give you as much attention as I'd like at the moment and you don't deserve how I've been treating you lately. I need some space for a while."

"No, you need someone to be there for you. And if you want to cut me off right now, I don't know what I can do anymore." You drank the rest of your glass and put the cutlery on the plate, ready to leave.

"I'm not cutting you off! Please, just listen to me-"

You leaned slightly forward and whispered, "Oh, because avoiding me for months and isolating without talking to me for days on end just when you need me the most is not cutting me off?"

Archie looked down, wordlessly, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. The sight made you want to cry too. You hated seeing your boyfriend - or shall you say ex-boyfriend - like this, but you took a deep breath and stood up, walking around the table. You placed a hand on his shoulder and said softly, "I'm really not trying to be mean to you. I just don't understand you sometimes."

He looked up at you and took your hand, kissing the back of it. "I love you."

You used to know him well enough to be able to tell when he was lying, but now you weren't certain if he really meant it this time or if he was only trying to make you stay.

"I'm not sure if I can say that to you right now," you admitted almost inaudibly because you knew that if you spoke more loudly, your voice would crack. "Call me when you're ready to let people take care of you. Goodbye."

[leeknowsredeyeliner]

break up - choi hyunsuk

hyunsuk x fem reader x yoshi (?)

summary: you finally confront your boyfriend and get everything off your chest. how does it result into a break up?

genre: college au, break up au

word count: 3.8k+

warning: minor cussing, mention of anxiety, minor anxiety attack (passing out), mention of anxiety pills/meds, break up

note: the first sad fanfic i’ve ever written so i hope you enjoy :)

You're trembling at the sight of the audience from backstage, basically the entire university is present. Having anxiety and dreaming of becoming a performer is obviously not the best combination, you always need to have your pills ready in case of an emergency. You're completely used to performing in front of your classmates and a large crowd but they opened the theater until every seat was filled, you can barely see the people in the back.

The only thing that keeps you going is your best friend, he's always front seat at your recitals and other performances. Even when Yoshi's not physically there to cheer you on, you know he's watching from a FaceTime call with your moms. You've been best friends since freshman orientation, you've even thought you would end up together but there was someone else that caught your eye -- your current boyfriend, Hyunsuk.

Most people suspect that Yoshi's your boyfriend because he's always seen around you, but you don't blame them, it logically makes sense. Even you sometimes feel like Yoshi treats you as more than just a best friend. Hyunsuk tends to be busy on weekends which is totally understandable, you just wish he'd make the time and effort to see you perform just once. He's never been to any of your performances or recitals, you wouldn't be surprised if he was unaware of them. Your moms are concerned for your relationship but you repeatedly remind them it's no big deal to you and he's just a busy guy.

"30 seconds," one of the backstage staff whispers passing by you. You mentally prepare yourself for your last performance of the year. 'I can do this.' Is all you repeat in your mind. The only way you can survive is by searching for your silver haired best friend in the audience and he'll give you all the encouragement you need.

"You’re up," the same person from earlier whispers from beside you. You take a deep breath in and out to slightly calm down the rollercoaster of nervousness mixed with puke in your stomach. You make your way on the stage and before the song starts, you don't hesitate to distinctively skim the first row. Your eyes stop near the middle as you see Yoshi with a big smile on his face. He gives you his iconic thumbs up of motivation and the song starts.

You sing your heart out to the audience but caught yourself looking at Yoshi a bit too often. Then again, he's the only one out there that came for you. Not even your moms could make it because of how close the performance is to the holidays.

[7:09pm]

You gather your belongings from the dressing room and speed walk out of the hall. Opening the door to the main hallway, Yoshi is leaning against the wall holding a box of chocolates. You run up to him as his arms open wide, ready for you to tackle him. Your bodies clash together, pulling him into a tight hug. His head nestles into your neck as he mumbles, "You killed it as always, (Y/n)."

"Only because of you. You know I can't do anything without you around," you giggle. You both pull away from the hug then he takes your bag away from you, slinging it over his shoulder.

"What? Am I like your lucky charm?" He jokes and you both laugh but in the back of your mind you take it seriously, he technically is. Whenever he's watching over the phone, you make the slightest mistakes and just pray the audience doesn't notice. His live presence is much more comforting to you. "These are for you. I know you hate flowers because you consider them a waste of space in your apartment." He hands you the box of chocolates -- your favorite box of chocolates.

"Thank you. I'll finish these tonight. Do you wanna go for some cheesecake?" Yoshi and you celebrate after every performance with food or if he's feeling generous, he takes you out to go shopping.

"Ooh, I can't. I'm going out with Asahi and Jihoon. I'll make it up to you tomorrow though."

"There's no need to make up for it, the chocolate's enough." The two of you don't always need to celebrate with food afterwards. Maybe going back to the apartment and spending the rest of the night with Hyunsuk will be better anyway.

"You don't need a ride home?" He asks as you make your way outside of the building.

"It's across the street, I can walk." Perks of living close to the university means saving cash for food.

"Alright, you be safe. And don't forget to take your anxiety meds once he get home," he orders, throwing your bag at you. You say your goodbyes then part ways.

[7:32pm]

You unlock the door to your apartment and while taking your shoes off, you see Hyunsuk's daily pair. It seems like he casually threw them onto the floor with no care in the world. You neatly place them in an available cubby and put your shoes away in their rightful spot.

You walk into your room to see Hyunsuk passed out across the bed. You clean out your bag, putting your belongings away where they belong. While getting dressed into your house clothes, you hear movement from outside the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom, you throw your hair up into a ponytail.

"When did you get here?" Hyunsuk asks as you join him in the kitchen.

"Around 10 minutes ago? How long have you been home for?"

"I came here straight after school. Where were you?" He casually responds, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. "Out with Yoshi again?" He asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice, but maybe you're just annoyed with the words that came out his mouth. It's obvious he doesn't listen to a word you say. He really had no idea about your performance? Also, what's the reason for bringing up Yoshi in that way?

"I had my monthly performance," you bluntly say. If he really had no clue, there's no way you'd be able to tolerate his ignorance. The list of things he does that piss you off keeps growing longer and longer.

"Since when do you have monthly performances?" Your eyes follow his body moving from the kitchen to the couch. The TV flickers on and you notice his interest beginning to fade away like in any conversation you've had in the past.

"Can you please turn the TV off when we're talking?" You order him like you're his mother. Does he have even the slightest drop of respect? He treats you like his sidepiece, like you're there to entertainment him whenever he feels like it.

"Don't worry, I'm still listening," he responds with his eyes glued to the TV. His eyes haven't met yours since you've arrived.

Hyunsuk is your first boyfriend. You were never the type to date before college because the only thing occupying your mind was school. Although you started off clueless in relationships, after being with Hyunsuk for a year, you eventually learned the attributes to a toxic relationship and how certain behaviors are formed.

In the beginning, it was never like this, Hyunsuk did anything and everything just to gain your attention for more than 20 seconds, trying to win you over every day. You loved playing hard to get with him, testing his limits. One day, you gave in to him and his constant courting. The two of you became the happy couple everyone aspires to be.

"But I don't want coffee today!" You whine and jump a bit in place to show how desperate you are. "Ice cream please."

"Fine, only because I love you." The word 'no' doesn't exist in his vocabulary, at least when it comes to you. He feels bad when he sees how disappointed you get when things don't go the way you want. You and Yoshi walk through the campus on your way to the ice cream parlor nearby.

Acting like a child is a natural instinct to you. You're the youngest in the family so you were babied the most and those behaviors never faded away. You enjoy your foot to stay in the squares, never touching the lines as you walk along the sidewalks. Yoshi found your actions interesting and would sometimes copy you when he felt like it, other times he'd watch you from behind as your pace quickens.

"Do it with me," you say. It was supposed to come out as an order but the baby side of you stopped yourself. You take Yoshi's hand in yours to line him up to your speed. As you hop over each line, Yoshi walks beside you looking like a loser. "You're so lame. You owe me two ice-"

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Hyunsuk chirps from beside you, cutting you off. Hyunsuk's been convincing you to let him take you on a date for too long. Every day it's the same thing, 'How does this weekend sound?' 'Just one date.' It's not that you didn't want to go out with him, you'd actually enjoy it very much. You just want to test his patience, see how long he can last, and to what extent he'll go to.

You let go of Yoshi's hand and bring your hands to the straps of your backpack. "Uh, hi?" You act totally uninterested. You like to see him stutter and think of ways for you to say more than four words at a time.

"Did you tell Yoshi you want two ice creams? I can buy you two ice cream cones, if that's what you want." If someone is willing to buy you more than one of any kind of food, you're not passing up on that opportunity. Hyunsuk willing to pay for the food just to win you over is quite worrisome though, it's a sign of easy manipulation.

"I guess," you keep your response short.

"It's okay, dude. I can buy for (Y/n)." Yoshi says from the other side of you. He may have not gotten the message that this was a test for Hyunsuk.

"I just got paid, paying for her ice cream won't hurt," Hyunsuk throws a sassy smile at Yoshi. Hyunsuk runs in front of you to get to the ice cream parlor before you and Yoshi.

"You really got him using his money for you, huh?"

"Yup! You know, he seems to like me a lot," you state the obvious.

"Really? Hm, I don't know. To me, it seems like he doesn't even want to be around you," he sarcastically says.

"I kind of like him now," you blurt out.

"A Hyunsuk confession to me? That's a shocker." He's known about who you felt about Hyunsuk for a few days now. He was neither happy nor upset about the news, he must've seen it coming. "What? Are you finally going to answer him today?" He laughs with no idea that you've already created a plan before today.

"Um, yeah." Yoshi stops in his track but you continue to walk, not caring if he gets left behind or not. "Can you walk? I have ice cream waiting for me."

"You're going to tell him? Today?" He sounds absolutely shocked. It's hard to tell whether it's because he's afraid you'd abandon him or maybe he'll feel bad if things don't work the way you'd want.

"Is that not what I just said?" You walk back over to him and wrap your arms together. "Now, let's go."

The two of you walk over to the ice cream parlor and Hyunsuk's already waiting at a table with your two ice cream cones in hand. Yoshi orders his ice cream while you sit with Hyunsuk. "Thanks," you say as he hands you both cones.

"Yeah, no problem. I remember you always had strawberry ice cream at uni so that's what I got you," he flashes a cute smile.

"Do you not have some for yourself?" You ask and he shakes his head. A frown forms on your face, it's unfair that he's bought you dessert but left himself empty-handed. You extend your arm out and force him to take your extra ice cream cone.

"Are you free this Saturday night?" You blurt our before taking a lick of your ice cream.

Hyunsuk's taken by surprise, you're never the one to initiate any conversation that demonstrates interest but you had a sudden burst of boldness. His eyes widen and he begins to stutter, "Oh. I- Well- It's a weekend- Uh-"

You cut him off, his stuttering's cute but you want a straight up answer, "If you're not free, just tell me. We can figure out another day."

"Thursday night?"

"It's a date."

The date is what initiated your relationship, it was a new beginning as a couple and for you as an individual. By the end of the date, Hyunsuk's impatient self had asked you to be his girlfriend and you proudly said yes.

You can't put your finger exactly on when your relationship went downhill, all you know is leading up to your one year anniversary, things changed.

Hyunsuk started off sweet, caring, a whore for your attention but turned into an unsupportive and distant boyfriend. He never takes you out on random dates, walks with you to school in the morning, and most importantly, you don't sleep in the same bed anymore and if you were, there'd be a line of pillows separating you. You're the only person putting in the effort nowadays and it's tiring.

You snatch the remote from beside him and turn off the TV. "What the hell? Give me back the remote!" He slightly raises his voice but it doesn't bother you. He's done it way too many times for it to have any sort of effect you.

"Oh? You want the remote back? Here, take it." You rip the batteries out from the back and slip them into your back pocket. Mercilessly, the remote is thrown onto the couch next to him.

"What the fuck was that for?" He yells yet again. His eyes meet yours for the first time, his eyebrows furrowed and face burning red.

"I can't take this anymore! I've been taking your shit for way too long. What happened to you the past few months, huh? You are a whole 'nother person. You're not the Hyunsuk I met in literature class my freshman year," I scoff. "The old you would do anything to see me, spend time with me. Please, just tel-"

"What do you expect? People change, (Y/n)! Do you want me to stay the same for the rest of my life?" He has a point, people change but never to the extent where they begin to lose interest in their girlfriend's life.

"I expect you to act like my boyfriend! You're never there for me. I'm always at your dance recitals and soccer games but never have you been to one of mine." Your vision becomes blurry because of your teary eyes. "I- I'm so fucking tired. Tired of- of having to look in the crowd and not see my boyfriend's face. Do you know how helpless I feel up on stage? You're supposed to be my number one supporter."

"You have never mentioned your performances before. How was I supposed to know?" This is his excuse? That's the fattest lie ever made on the planet.

"What do you mean?" You raise your voice. Your voice is very unstable and so is your mind, you could break at any second. "I've been bringing it up even before we started dating. I'd tell you every month, 'I have a performance next week. Do you want me to buy you a ticket?' You always have an excuse, it always has to do with work or going out with your friends. Do you just not have time for your girlfriend?"

"No! I don't! I have a social life and I need to pay the bills. All you do is go out with that stupid Yoshi boy!" He had absolutely no business bringing him into this. Is he using Yoshi as an excuse to ignore his own girlfriend?

"Pay the bills?" You quietly say to yourself before repeating it as loud as possible, "Pay the fucking bills? Your money goes straight to drinking with your friends. I am the only one paying the bills here. Me!" His head lowers down from embarrassment because he knows he's wrong. Yes, he makes money, but where does it all go? To food and drinks with his friends the night after earning it. It's a complete waste of money and a complete waste of your time. Because of how much money he spends, you end up working night and morning shifts to earn the money that he's responsible for paying off.

"And what the hell does Yoshi have to do with this? The only reason why the two of us are together so much is because he actually makes the effort to support me. He's my best friend and you're supposed to be my boyfriend. Instead of being a jealous brat, bringing up his name in an argument that has nothing to do with him, why don't you try to act your part?" You say all in one breath.

Just then, you break down into tears. You were holding it all in for too long that the pain and frustration hit you all at once, bringing you down into a ball of tears. Your breathing was obviously uneven as you were crying but it soon became hard to breathe. Hyunsuk stayed quiet the whole time, not knowing what to say or do. Was he supposed to comfort you or let you cry on the floor by yourself? After listening to your constant hiccuping and sobs continuing for god knows how long, he kneels in front of you.

Your cries were longer than usual and from the sound of his voice, he was concerned. "(Y/n)? Di- Did you take your pills when you got home?" You shake your head in response. This is why Yoshi is always there to remind you to take your pills, he knows you tend to forget at night.

"Okay." Hyunsuk disregards everything that's been said the past few minutes to focus on you and your health, "We're going to stand up and get you to the bed." He holds you up from your armpits, lifting you up from the floor. Once all of your weight is on your feet, nothing.

You see absolutely nothing. Pitch black.

[9:12pm]

You open your eyes to face the ceiling and stretch your arms and legs. "You're awake," a voice from beside you says.

"Yo- Yoshi. What are you doing here? What time is it? Where's Hyunsuk?" The questions flood out as you have a hard time remembering what happened to you.

"A lot of questions, huh? It's a bit past 9. Hyunsuk called me and told me about the fight you had and how you passed out. He didn't know how to handle you so he asked me to come over and help. He also didn't know how you'd feel if he was the first person you saw," he lets out a soft giggle at the end.

You forgot about your fight with Hyunsuk. Everything's coming back to you: The annoyance, the slight confusion of his words. You know if he were to walk through the door right now, you wouldn't hesitate to pounce him.

"You forgot to take your medicine when you got home, didn't you?" He breaks your train of thought. He knows you so well.

"Ho- How did you know?"

"Who's the one to call you at 7:40 every night to remind you?" He asks pulling out your phone to show you a missed call from him at exactly 7:40pm. Sometimes, you learn new things about yourself, like how high maintenance you are to the point where you need another person to remind you of what to do every single day.

"I didn't have to take my meds. I just shouldn't have went off on Hyunsuk, then this would've never happened."

Yoshi sighs and gently pats your head, "We both know it was bound to happen. There just needed to be something to trigger it." Again, he knows you so well, a bit too well.

"Can you bring him here? I want to finish my conversation from earlier." Maybe you won't pounce him, you have absolutely no energy for that. But you do need this weight to be lifted off of your shoulders.

"Only if you promise to not attack him or yell at him," he holds out his pinky. You connect your pinkies and do your quick handshake.

"Promise."

Yoshi leaves the room and shortly after, Hyunsuk walks through the door sending you a soft smile. You pat the spot next to you on the bed and he respectfully and quietly sits, waiting for you to say something.

"I think it's time," you softly say. You avoid eye contact with Hyunsuk because you knew if you were to look into his eyes, all it'd reflect is pain. Even though he wasn't the perfect boyfriend, maybe didn't even act like your boyfriend at all, he loves you and no matter how he acts, you both knew that. You never stopped loving him despite how many times he angered and tested you.

"Can we please try again? I swear I'll be the perfect boyfriend to you, (Y/n). I- I was thinking while you were asleep, looking back at the past few months. You put up with so much shit that you shouldn't have had to go through and I'm truly sorry. I want to make it up to you by making things right," he says with hope in his voice. "Please, (Y/n)." You look up at him, he genuinely is sorry. The regret and pain in his teary eyes are strong, no one could see past it.

You take a deep breath to quickly recollect your thoughts, "I'm sorry, Hyunsuk. I'm not happy in this relationship anymore. This could be the time to better ourselves." You keep it short, not wanting to hurt his feelings even more.

"I- I don't get a second chance?" A tear rolls down his face.

"I've given you more than just a second chance these past few months. Maybe in the future we'll have a chance to try again together." You still love Hyunsuk. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, there's bound to be mistakes and obstacles in the way to drive you apart. If the two of you are truly meant to be then you'll meet again.

"Maybe," he softly says. "Or maybe it's Yoshi that should be given a chance."

[bisluthq]

Look, it was definitely wrong of Ginny & Georgia to use that very sexist claim ab Taylor as a "joke". It's concerning that a platform as big as Netflix is allowing such horrible stereotypes to be condoned instead of being part of the solution for gender equality by deconstructing those misogynistic beliefs in a meaningful way.

However, the statement Taylor put out in response doesn't feel good for several reasons:

a) Taylor has a history of speaking up formally about issues regarding social justice and/or support of minorities ONLY when it directly affects her. I'm sorry but this is an empirical fact, if you deny that you are too blinded by your fave

b) The Tweet has a very petty vibe and it's almost like she's victimizing herself as if she's the only one who has ever been wronged by sexism. Imo, it would've been better if she took a more polite and humble approach and pointed out how harmful it is for people in general, especially young girls, to see such a stereotyped accusation towards a person treated as something acceptable in a TV show. Instead of bringing the attention back to herself by mentioning Miss Americana and implying that Netflix backstabbed her (even though it is true), she could've said something like "it is irresponsible and dissapointing for a streaming service with such a wide audience to engage in the use of sexist and stereotyped misconceptions towards women when our society has been working so hard to improve gender equality. I sincerely hope Netflix will take this into consideration when reviewing the scripts for their shows in the future and deciding what type of message they're sending out to society and to young people". Make it about all everyone, not just yourself Tay. The "Happy Women's History Month I guess" sounds very wrong to me and quite honestly a bit hypocritical bc it makes it look like she's just hopping on the women's rights train just bc it favours her in this particular scenario. It's not like she Tweets every year about women's history month or about International Day of Women and Girls in Science

c) If she can be so very loud about a line in a TV show that personally offended her (while also being very sexist and offensive to women, I'm not denying that), why couldn't she be this loud about BLM? If she was concerned ab being hacked when giving her sm platforms to black businesses, couldn't she at least have insta lives with them? Publicly donated to organizations that support black people in vulnerable social settings?

I give her credit for giving her staff that holiday and for going off as loudly as she did at Trump. But like then she just stays quiet about so many important things and when you have a platform as HUGE as hers, it really does send a mixed message. I'm not saying she has to Tweet ab every single social issue every day, but maybe thank the health workers and ask people to wear a mask? I understand that anything and everything she says is twisted and I think she has all the right to be cautious ab it. Like lowkey I think she has PTSD from what the media and general public have done to her. But at the same time, she continues to subconciously try to please everyone and say what people want her to say instead of what she believes in. Sorry Tay but if you wanna stand for equal rights for minorities you are unavoidably going to get hate bc sadly racist, monstrous, inhumane people exist.

Being on the right side of history and standing for human rights means you won't be liked by everyone, but if you believe in it you should advocate for it bc it's the right thing, not to make ppl like you. She could at least try to pretend that it's not all about benefitting herself, but she doesn't! Does she even review what she posts with her team? If what they want is for Tay to come off as an egotistical privileged white lady, mission accomplished. I love Taylor, I've listened to her music since Fearless came out when I was 8. I admire a lot her talent, intelligence, and how hard she works but I would really like her and respect her a lot more if she didn't sit so comfortably in her privilege.

“Being on the right side of history and standing for human rights means you won't be liked by everyone, but if you believe in it you should advocate for it bc it's the right thing, not to make ppl like you” - louder.

Like that’s the crux of the issue with her for me.

This was a brilliant take I agree anon!

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[warningimmental]

You made your choice. It's not to be a mother so....... Congratulations you're free!!!. Your Wish came true.

Yes this is public so people can see.#TRUTH

***See below as im not repeating again and again.***

My side of life.

P.s

Yeah I'll be fine. I always am in the end.

( Heres what needs to be said and has been said so not to repeat myself. From in PMs )

Sad thing is she knows ill forgive her just like I forgave dad and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else. I care so no one else has to. I'm the one who picked up the pieces of everything but was tormented daily. She wonders why I was the way I was it was due to parenting and fobbing me off to anyone who would take me.

Anne and Bob should of kept me. They couldn't have kids they could of had me though. (neighbours I adopted as grandparents no blood but love ) My father was a shit most of my life my mother was everyones mother bar mine. They kept me quite with gadgets and as long as I went to school fed and watered job done.

Favourite quote was "it's your fault" and dads was "your making me ill"

Christ for someone who knows everyone elses business she never saw what was happening to her own daughter.

29 years im done. Sick of being a leighton.

I said Stockholm syndrome I loved my captives just happened to be the people I called mum and dad....

I still love them both but what I was "known as normal" was not remotely normal.

Eg. I was appendicitis and born 8 months in mum had no clue and I was "hiding" behind her ribs. It's medically impossible.

Not to mention lived in New York every other year from age of 6 months till I was 13. Dad would take me over and over and over mum came ONCE for my 13th.

I have no memories of New York. It's kind of a huge thing and place to have been wiped out of a memory.

Now im clear-minded im having pseudoseizures because my subconscious doesn't want me to remember what happened.

What mother would let a new born or toddler a child that can't speak fly to the other side of the world to only be with men. My dad and my fucked up uncle who sends stuff to "favourite" niece

I've tried so hard to get better and it's not even my family who acknowledged it.

There's so much you don't know.

She used to have me go in the house before her in case dad had killed himself so id find him first from the ages of 7 onwards. When dad past I went behind the curtain first. So I kept the is see him first. On 29th April 2018

I was always on eggshells she would say people die of lack of breath so EVERY NIGHT id check on mum and dad every hour. She would hold her breath to screw with me. Then say im not dead go to bed.

The house was toxic. For once in my life im actually sane.

She is not who you think she is.

If I've lost my mind it's because my environment sucked. I'm finally out. Sober can think clear and don't harm because I don't have to deal with the toxicity that I dealt with ALL my life.

If I told you everything you wouldn't believe me. Which is fine know one does because but it's true.

Always ask why or what causes someone to go off the rails and self destruct. I never felt safe, I was always told I was a mistake and everything was my fault. As long as I kept the family secrets mum was happy.

Dad was toxic. Mum the same. She wants drama so I finally said enough.

When I say mum knows everything I mean she saw it all and NEVER had it stop or put me safe. I can finally talk now dad is gone. I could write every TRUTH down and write a book. People would wonder how the hell did this girl cope and live to tell. I lived because I care about everything and everyone else. But im done now.

I doubt you'd believe me if im honest. My inbox is full of people defending her and my dad. If only they knew. its been a long time coming but im finally speaking out.

I know people don't understand but I don't want to burden with it. If You like my mum and dad id rather I let you keep the illusion. I know it's out there now that's enough.

If you want to see my life keep reading otherwise STOP HERE.

I'm fine and im safe finally. I just needed more as a child than fear of what should of been my safe place a home.

I don't want us to be strangers to the people who read this and thin sarahs lost it.

I don't want to cause a riff, I just couldn't not say it finally. Mum says always go to counselling but I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone the truth about dad or mum. Or the truth on why I had to have a very intrusive operation due to assault by 3 at Halloween party. Mum now knows that. Dad was arrested for hitting the wrong lad. Dad and mum would have gone down for murder if I spoke out.

On the other hand there was also my home life in general. I was made to stay quiet about having a revolving door of strangers. Huge boozy parties after a night out. Mum and me being treat like muck on a shoe.

A abusive uncle who would have me and my cusion be "kissing cusions" .Every night when I was 15 to 26 I drank took sleeping pills and hid away in my room self destructive harm anything so not to deal.

I look like wolferrines attacked me because of the arguments or threats. Mum couldnt leave the house quick enough. I gave up on a career to care for my dad but I was always looked down on.

****** golden girl. left was I was guilt tripped saying "your still dads girl you won't leave me" while dad would cry. Every night.

Mum swears I was an appendicitis 8 months in term. I'd be handed to anyone and everyone. Every year or every other from birth id end up in america. Mum would say her holidays where when me and dad would leave. From 6 months old id always go back and forth to New York. I couldnt talk yet "apparently" begged to go with dad.

Mum would say after blazing rows im leaving.

Then just walk out the door. I was left with a highly angry father and confused were mum had gone and if she would come back for me. I'd stay up all night waiting. I'd hide crying and scream in a pillow so not to be to loud so dad didn't shout.

I was told my face doesn't fit. My nick name was ferret face or panda. I would hurt my self so not to hurt others. I wanted and trained to be a counsellor so one to understand what I did wrong and two and most importantly to be there for the people who needed support.

I went to rehab to be identified when found so my parents wouldn't have to. If it wasn't for craig I doubt if be here.

Craig saved my life. Mum has always put others before me or ignored it so it didn't exist.

Important in here (ears) none important (over your head)

I was terrified everyday of my life. I loved and do love my parents it's just I can't stay quite any longer.

Money or game consoles chocolate sweets where hush money. Dad would buy crates of spirits and beer and supple my / his pills so I was always foggy minded.

I'm finally sober clean and harm free my mind is the most composed it ever been.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Mum is a star and has a heart of gold to others but from age 7 onwards everyone else came first.

I pride my self on protecting, comforting trying to be there and support everyone, hell even risked my life enough times to save some. because I never had it. No one to fight for me protect me.

I wanted parents love encouragement happy I archived or even tried. But it never came.

Even my graduation was ruined.

I wasn't allowed to get a job they made me be sick and have PTSD mum still to this day loves to make me jump. I have terrifying nightmares.

I'd hear conversations no child should hear because they either didn't notice I was there or care. When ***** killed him self when *** did when dad tried and I was left with a random man being told "your dads took to many sweets"

The same man who later tried it on with me sending dirty pictures or dads other "mates" who would try there luck. I gained a shit ton of weight 21 stone so NO guy would come near me because the strangers who would come to the house used to try and feel me up or perv if door was unlocked as I was a kid.

She saw everything but wouldn't believe it. Or me. I phone our ***** one night years ago because she said I could and she yelled at me because she had work. I was silently screaming for help.

It was only at dads funeral she saw and realised and was so genuinely sorry for not believing me the night I phoned.

I wish every single thing I've said and keep telling was a lie but it's not it's 25/26 years of fear.

I'm 29 now. For the first time in my life im not on eggshells. I have a safe home. I can lock the door and not fear.

I wish these were lies I swear!!!!! I do but there not.

Yet NO ONE will even consider it's the TRUTH.

[3pirouette]

Hello! This is your steggy secret santa, and I'm already so excited to get started! Before I dive in, is there anything on your wishlist for your gift this year - specific eras, tropes, AUs, parts of steve and peggy's story, etc.? Let me know if there's anything you'd love to see, and happy holidays!!

Hello my friend! You are already so wonderful and I love you. Thank you for being amazing and being you! 

Ugh, it’s so hard to narrow it down. For me, it has to be just Steggy, no OT3′s or other people, JUST Steggy. (I mean, there can be other people in the story, just not in the relationship, get me?) I generally prefer stuff that could potentially fit in to the narrative that already exists, but I’ve honestly found myself reading a lot of AUs lately and liking them more and more. (Hard NO for me in AU world- High school/childhood/underage AUs)

With all the craziness in the world, I’d appreciate if you’d make sure it at LEAST ends happy, if it can’t be a piece of tooth rotting fluff. I do love me some good angst, but unfortunately there’s enough stress going around for me these days and I’d love something HAPPY. 

I know a lot of my own writing lately has been Modern AUs that deal with Covid- I’d appreciate if you could avoid that. I’ve been using it to work through stuff, I’d love my santa gift to be 100% escapism. 

Any rating is good with me, whatever you’re happy and comfortable with. I do love a good baby!Fic/Family!Fic, but I also love stories that involve the commandos. (I am NOT a fan of Sousa or Thompson, but Rose and Ana and Jarvis and Howard are favorites, too)

Here are some potential prompts if that hasn’t narrowed it down enough for you:

-I’ve been dying (DYING) for a League of Their Own AU. This seems hard, and daunting, and I want to read it, not write it, which makes it worse. You are under NO OBLIGATION to try this. I just have a mighty need that has not yet been filled to see Howard as Walter Harvey and Peggy as a kick ass baseball player and Steve as the coach she falls in love with... 

-I LOVE stories where Peggy meets Steve Undercover, extra points if she has to go undercover as part of his USO show to protect him or watch him. 

-I think Peggy meeting the Endgame group of Avengers would be hilarious. I tried to cover that in one of my stories, but there is SO much more ground to cover. Men that fly? Aliens? Wizards? God- she’d be so protective of Peter... That might be fun. 

-I also love anything where Peggy uses her femininity as a weapon. God, she’s awesome. 

-Nutcracker AU? (because I’m a sucker for the Nutcracker- just not that Janky new movie version... WTF was THAT??) 

-Physical Therapist Peggy... The PT profession actually STARTED post WWII dealing with patients who had injuries and amputations (as well as dealing with polio patients) Can be Modern or 40′s... 

Man, it really is too early for this, I’m trying to think more, but now I just have Lizzo’s “Like a Girl” running through my head. 🤦🏻‍♀️I think I need more coffee. 

I’m going to tag all of these “My Super Steggy Secret Santa” in case you need to find them. I’ll tag anything else I see that I think you should see that, too. 

I’m already so excited and I can’t WAIT to see what you come up with!