#shitty movie reviews by yours truly

[cipheramnesia]

Today I am asking myself why do I like Terrifier and Terrifier 2. There doesn't have to be a reason for it, and I struggle to find any merit to them other than the dubious quality, inventiveness, and excess of the gore and violence. Maybe that's it, and probably that is literally all there is to the movies - fans all say as much. And if your only thoughts on Terrifier are "I hate that shitty movie," honestly that's fair, more than reasonable, but this post isn't for you so kindly skip along by.

But also the movies don't hit for me in the same way as a bloody rollercoaster ride movie does. For some reason I am unable to comprehend, my mind is insisting the movies are good on an artistic level - my brain insists there is artistic merit, although it steadfastly refuses to disclose what that might be. This isn't an endorsement, by the by, the Terrifier movies are extreme in a way apart from even the French Extremity movement or the whole torture trap Saw era from the USA.

Although in some ways that may be a part of what makes the movies something more than graphic violence alone. They are unpleasant in a way that is malicious - a naked cruelty which in a perverse way is a form of open honesty speaking to truth. There is no detachment from the violence, no easy way to disconnect from it as some sort of mechanical function or take it in as a part of a story. Art the Clown embodies such a totality of unrelenting and unchecked cruelty that it comes around as confusingly refreshing, because it is so rare for any media to be so graphically violent without attempting some framing of the harm - even if only as a plot point. It's masochistic to watch but in a more literal kink way. The Terrifier movies are a safe space to engage with senseless violence and cruelty, to experience the emotional impact of the idea of an uncaring world design only to cause pain, and then to be able to safely leave this mental space physically intact, better equipped for the real world which by nature is not nearly so malicious as Terrifier. Cathartic in the same way as it can be to get whipped or beaten, followed by care and caressing. Maybe.

All that under consideration, a throwaway line from a review has raised a second consideration for me: Are these movies camp? They are wildly exaggerated performances which incorporate large amounts of generally discarded pop culture on purpose. They deliberately incorporate the cheap aesthetics of low budget video nasties, grindhouse movies, and direct to video 80s horror. Everything about Art the Clown and his violent acts is severely over the top from his facial features to his makeup to his mannerisms which are those of a mime rather than a clown. I think it's arguable that the Terrifier movies go beyond simply utilizing a retro aesthetic into performing a kind of horror drag - dressing up in the clothes of the 70s-80s but elevating the content into a hyper-grotesque persona that's almost like everything the film censors and critics from that era thought such movies actually were. It's a movie that purposefully becomes the kind of monster conservatives always imagine about horror, just to throw that right in their face. It is, I think, very arguably camp in how much it is purposefully over the top and self-indulgent about what the vast majority of people would (often rightly) dismiss as artless trash.

Which leads me back around to asking myself if I truly believe what I've written, or if I'm merely trying to find an internal and artistic justification for liking violent and misogynistic horror flicks with nothing of else of substance.

[itookyoudown]

for the ask game: top 5 justified episodes?

oh lordy this is so hard to choose. i'm not answering this with any thoughtfulness just going with gut instinct.

5: Full Commitment, season 2. this is my guilty pleasure and comfort episode because of how western it feels and how much tim gutterson we get :)

we even get raylan talking to dan!! i just love how all the pieces of the plot and characters come together in this episode. this also sets up and kicks off the finale of Bloody Harlan. really the last three episodes of this season feel like a mini movie to me, they all flow together brilliantly.

4: The Promise, season 6. this isn't my favorite season or even my favorite season finale, but it's one of my favorite episodes because of how bittersweet it is. it was the perfect wrap-up for a perfect show and the final scene is my favorite final scene in any show i've ever watched.

some characters survive, but nobody really wins and i love that. it feels like such a real true to life ending.

3: The Hunt, season 6. the episode that cinched boyd's characterization and showed us two flavors of domesticity horror (raylan and winona with willa's heart murmur reveal and trying to navigate co-parenting along with raylan's lackluster fathering VS boyd's abduction, terrorization, and assault of ava).

this is the most thriller-esque episode of justified to me and truly does verge into lowkey horror at some points. it shocked and numbed me the first time i watched it and the reality didn't really click until the second rewatch and by the third time it truly sunk in.

the fact boyd became the type of man his father and his brother were...utterly devastating and really changed my perspective on his character. and he chose it, he plotted it and organized it in a cold fashion. it's heartbreaking and at first you can't believe it but upon rewatches of the show it revealed to me that yeah...yeah. boyd was always capable of this and it's no surprise this is where he and ava ended up.

outlaw king and queen they never were and never would have been.

this episode is also fascinating because you can see critic response to it as a disturbing time capsule. look at reviews of this episode back when the show was airing...be prepared to be sickened by how often boyd assaulting ava is framed as "making love" or a reunification/rekindling of their relationship 🙃

this episode is always difficult for me to rewatch, but i still love it.

on a lighter note, i also delight in raylan being a fail dad and with city primeval fresh in my mind i love how it really does confirm his work over family priority from the get-go lol.

2: Outlaw, season 4. in general this is a solid af episode of justified in the best season of the show, but it ranks so high in my mind because it's the culmination of Arlo and Rayan's relationship. look, the truth is abuse is so rarely accurately portrayed in media. usually, it's revenge fantasy or feel-good simplification that reduces things down to evil monsters and pure perfect victims. and i get why that happens, i get it, most people find it healing and those stories do need to exist i'm not knocking them.

but justified has a complex and multilayered way of dealing with abusive relationships (they did it with boyd and ava too) that actually digs into how complicated and messy and painful they truly are.

the fact we get to see Raylan grieve Arlo in such an understated but devasting way...holy shit. one of the best moments in the show imo. because it doesn't matter if you hate your parent and they were shitty and abusive. you still loved them. you still love who they were in-between the abuse and maybe you don't grieve the person they were but you grieve what could have been and what you never had with them.

1: Decoy, season 4: all-time best episode of justified and top-tier episode of television everywhere. the episode is really the pinnacle of justified's genre (neo western). e v e r y t h i n g about this episode honors justified's storylines and honors characterization. heart and soul and brain all in one go.

it respects the lawmen and the outlaws in portrayal. the writing is tight, the dialogue is outstanding, and it comes with one of justified's most iconic and thematic shots (the stairwell scene).

[enchantingtrash]

Just got out of the Fnaf movie

heres my spoiler free review:

This movie fucking slaps, whether your new the the fandom or been around since the beginning its great, defiantly rewatchable

the animatronics really pay off. lack of cgi and real life aspects really helped the movie elevate its quality kudos to the Henson company they are truly amazing it really makes realise how shitty cgi gas become

Some mehs

The age rating being a 15 (in my country) has obviously effected the final cut, there were some moments where you just wanted more than what was shown

Some parts dragged and the final act felt a little bit rushed

but overall amazing movie 10/10 go watch it on the big screen

[dravenxivuk]

Hi!! Okay so Extinction, its fine. The "monsters" are really cheap looking to the point its funny. Its also a found footage type.

It is a more slower one. I kinda skimmed the last 30ish minutes. Acting in it is fine, Neil truly is a treat to see cause he reacts to the camera man, like he shoots dirty looks and its funny.

Its not horrible though, I have seen my fair share of shitty movies. I kinda had it on in the background cause there weren't any like high intense moments/jump scares til an hour in. I can tell they tried to take it more seriously then other B horror movies.

If you want spoilers then I can message you but I'm trying to be vague in case anyone does wanna go in blind to it.

Good news!

I told my Wife that I needed to add Extinction to our collection of monster movies, needed. She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then rummaged through our inordinately large entirely reasonably sized collection of Bad Looking Monster Movies We Want to Watch, and we already own it! Hurrah!

Having re-read the synopsis and been provided with your helpful review, she doesn't seem very keen so I suspect it's one I picked up at some point, but no matter.

She's going away for the weekend, so I will watch it then. I'm going to get popcorn and everything. It's going to be great!

[lutawolf]

I Will Knock You Episode 11 D/s point outs

I write the Dominant element in this review, while @thequeenofsastiel writes the sub element. I'll be linking her portion of the review tomorrow. So please look forward to that. Hope you guys have been enjoying!

The first scene immediately shows the attachment that Thi has gained for Noey. He doesn't argue about missing him and just tells him to go. We then see his mom step out on the balcony. He knows how his parents will feel about Thi, and he just isn't willing to go there. This shows a growth in Thi because before, he would have just given Noey up.

Then they get to the school and Noey knows his man. He is questioning what is wrong and then excited to hear it's Thi's parents. His friends can clearly see how in love Thi is and aren't arguing but seem like, wth. Sweet Jezebel and that damn Phayu. I love that Thi despite how rude Noey is now, doesn't argue. He just lets Noey continue putting his stamps of ownership.

Aww, not my baby gang. Don't hurt me like this. I wanna hug him!

I love that we are seeing the sensitive side of Noey. Seeing what it does to him to lose a submissive friend. Because a Dom that gives a shit is always going to feel that. Being a Dom doesn't mean never being vulnerable. You'd be a crappy Dom if you didn't care. "I'm here with you. Right by your side. I'm not going anywhere" Thi has truly blossomed in his subby side.

Thi has really grown. OMG, I love seeing it. Then mom and dad come out, and I already don't like them. That little head nod when Noey is so respectful. Not cool.

See! I told you they sucked, and not in a good way! I've only talked to another parent like that when my kid got put in danger or when their kid tries to bully mine. As a mom to two brats, it's been a struggle on the bullying front, luckily the middle child has his demon sister. Anyway, while Noey is a hoodlum, he is a hoodlum with a heart and code, so I would say she's done pretty damn good as a mom.

Look at Thi, look how much strength he has gained from being a sub. His Dom is that important to him that he stands up to his parents, who he normally never would. The fact that he didn't fight harder on the necklace was very unsub like, though. A sub will fight for their ownership object. Look at the way he stares at it.

I love the sister. Oh fuck, if a Dom thinks they did a shitty job as a Dom. They will spiral bad. He'll go right back to his old life if he truly believes that he isn't a good Dom. There we go, he's decided to fight. Ha! He calls and proves to Thi he is still his Dom. See how he is talking to Thi. This is what I'm going to do, and you just need to worry about your studies. Very Dom and very commanding. See how he is telling him how it's going to be. Agh!

They are so fucking cute! Thi saying that he's always enjoyed Noey's cooking. OMG. They are trying to kill me with the sweetness. Thi is so in love. It's like it keeps smacking him in the head. Anybody else noticed that Thi has started carting that one strand of hair? At least in the one scene.

Noey sucks as basketball, and let's hope he learned a lesson. Fucking baby Dom. "How could you go watch a movie with him. Who told you that you could go!" Tell me that's not Dom. He put down the law, he's giving him ten minutes. Punishment will be him dragging Thi back. And by now he has proven to Thi time and again that he means what he says. Notice that he now carries a phone around? That way, he can always be in contact with his sub. The back and forth sleeping, so cute.

Ahh, everyone is so cute and happy for months! Which actually does a lot to fix the separation concern. They have had time to establish. Expectations and guidelines should be known by now. No contact would do some damage, but constant contact with lots of visits would be doable.

And Noey's stupid ass listened to Thi's parents. Let's just hope Thi knows what's going on because that's the only thing that's going to keep him from spiraling.

Love you guys! Hope you enjoy! 💜💜💜

[bymcr]

here is some honest advice that i truly believe helps shift mentalities. live your life empathetic; find the positive.

you work retail and just had a shitty customer. it’s so easy to have this situation and let it spiral. they didn’t treat you as a person, it’s not fair. that’s valid. but what you may not take into account is that persons emotional state. what happened to them earlier today? what happened to make the situation escalated? were they confused which may have made the situation more difficult? put yourself in their shoes. yes - they still treated you unfairly. but trying to understand their mindset helps you re-evaluate yours.

from there, what did you do well? focus on your behaviors and how you handled the situation. doesn’t matter what the outcome actually was: how do you view yourself?

this is the same for everything: movie reviews, getting bad service, having a hard conversation with a friend, disappointment in an upcoming event, etc.

if you focus on the negative and only the negative, it will eat you alive. you have to find good in the world. you have to be empathetic to the world.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: Worst Films of 2022

Well ladies and gentlemen, 2022 has come to an end. Luckily, this year of cinema hasn't had too many pitfalls in quality that infuriated me. Actually, I take that back. There was a few films that truly disappointed me, pissed me off and 1 film that I absolutely despised. That's right people, its time for my pick for the worst films of 2022. Now you may not agree with me on some of them and that's okay. All film is subjective and you can have your opinions, but these are mine. If you want a more detailed review of each film listed, then simply click the title of each film. So, lets get this over.

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness: I wouldn't say this was the worst of the year, but more of a disappointment.  I happened to like that this was basically an Evil Dead version of the titular character, but I thought it was so inconsistent and lackluster in so many ways. If your gonna have a horror vibe then go all the way and get creepy with it. This film also introduced a new MCU character in the absolute worst way. America Chavez was absolutely useless for the majority of the film even though she has a decent backstory. The last fight in the film was just so bad and the story could've been over in 5 minutes with some simple logic. I wish this had tied into the animated series "What if?" in some sort of way. At least that Doctor Strange arc was more compelling than this.

Black Adam: I love DC. It is my comic book home over Marvel anyday and their heroes are just as important as their villains and anti heroes. When "Shazam!" was a success, it was only a matter of time before we were gonna get his darker counter part and I was excited until I saw the trailer. I knew something was off and I was right. I don't mind when a character's origin is altered a bit to fit with the times, but this was the most bland version ever. Dwayne Johnson can deliver a decent performance when he is challenged and he wasn't challenged at all in this film. This was one of his worst performances as he just delivers emotionless dialogue and floats around for the majority of the film with no sense of character development. The Justice Society of America was just slapped in for no reason and most of the team aside from Hawkman and Dr. Fate weren’t worthy of their names. Hey Black Adam, 2012 called. They want their villain plot and their shitty CGI back. It’s truly sad when the most memorable thing anyone will ever talk about is the post credit scene as being the best part of the film. You deserved better Henry Cavill.

Jurassic World: Dominion: Oh how this franchise has fallen so hard. It had a good, nostalgic and fun beginning that could've led to an amazing finale. What I was hoping to see is an actual world that's over run with dinosaurs. There was a short film released before the film called "Battle at Big Rock" and in that short you got a taste of what the film should’ve been. It had dinosaurs showing up in a camp site and wreaking havoc. It was tense and somewhat violent and everything that Dr. Ian Malcolm described it would be. What we got with this entry was a film about genetically enhanced locusts destroying crops. What the hell does that have to do with the dinosaurs you say? Nothing. How can you call yourself a Jurassic film when the dinosaurs aren't even the star of the film? Don't even get me started on legacy characters popping back up on screen just to have nothing to do but scream and get thrown around. What a disgrace to the franchise name.

Morbius: Do I need to really say anything about this dumpster fire of a movie? Visually the film was okay looking and I liked the ferocity of the character, but man was the rest of the film just horrible. This really didn't do anything to capture even the essence of the famous comic anti hero. This was just another day in the life of Jared Leto to be honest. The plot of the film was so bland, obvious and not even compelling enough to have a sense of fun. The only person I think was having fun as he just went for it in every scene, was Matt Smith. Listen Sony, I know you hold or have bought up all the rights to Spider-Man and all of his rogues, but for the love of all things holy, STOP making comic book movies like these. Outside of the Miles Morales animated films, you have consistently tainted each character with piss poor writing and god awful attempts to connect it to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You even tried it here and it doesn't even make any sense! I hope you loose all the rights in the future so that the people over seeing the MCU can properly take care of these beloved characters. UGH!

And now we've come to it. The film that I consider to be the absolute worst of 2022 and the one film I hated the most is………..

Thor: Love and Thunder: If there's any character in the MCU that has had a full life experience and has become complete by Avengers: Endgame, its Thor. He is my favorite character of the MCU and it makes me so sick to my stomach to see what Kevin Feige and team have allowed Taika Waititi to do to him. Ragnarok was not the epic that it should've been, but it was tolerable once the Russo Brothers fixed the problems plaguing the character from that film. The character was ripped away from progress by Taika and tossed back into his "finding myself" story AGAIN when he already knew who he was! The constant usage of many OUTDATED memes including the stupid screaming goats, was so painful to witness. There was no sense of danger, no sense of compassion, no sense of urgency from any of the heroes. Jane Foster was given a story that could've been so heart wrenching, but it was met with god awful humor and didn't give the powerhouse dramatic actor that Natalie Portman is, anything to work with. Christian Bale was the best part of the film and he only got to shine in maybe 3 scenes that truly defined what this film should've been. This was an SNL sketch that was stretched too far and completely destroys any hope of saving the titular character for the future. When the news came that Taika wasn't gonna do anymore of these films, I rejoiced even though the massive damage had already been done. I truly and deeply hate this dog shit of a movie and in my opinion, it currently holds the number 1 spot of being the worst MCU film ever made.

And there it is ladies and gents! That is my list of the shiniest turds Hollywood crapped out in 2022. 2023 has already started and I hope that this year brings an even shorter list of stinkers. If you hated these films or liked my thoughts on them, let me know in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

[kawaikith]

❃ // Rocky aur Rani ki prem kahaani (review)

[ includes spoilers‼️]

This movie was so unexpectedly good, from the beginning till the end, I know that Karan johar’s movies are good, but this one just touched the heart.

I loved rocky and Rani only in the movie, and rocky’s sister - Gayatri and her mother. Rani’s grandmother, too. Everyone else was pure annoyance. This movie potrays the extremely narrow thinking of how parents think, and then they’ll say —“यह आपके अपने भले के लिए है” (it’s for your own good) to cover up their slips ups and mistakes. Both of their families needed to think out of the box, and that’s why the idea of living with each other’s families was a great decision.

I really loved rani’s attitude, no, i’m not talking about ego. The way she carried herself throughout the movie, what a fucking queen! Suits her name. (Rani means queen)

She not only encourages gayatri’s mother to follow her passion that was left forgotten since she got married. Here i’m not saying that she’s wrong for choosing to get married and serve her husband, of course, she was happy, but it was one- sided and therefore doing that everyday did not make her feel happy. In fact, she followed her routine everyday like a robot, never saying anything, since her husband would shut her up, she was practically a door mat. And Rani saw that, she didn’t want her to stop being a doormat, she just wanted her to sing again, and be a wife at the same time. Choosing both does not make her less of a wife or a person.

Gayatri was really good at trading, but she never perceived it as her strength, because looking at her mother, she learnt that she has to hide her talents, because it will not be appreciated and accepted in the household, since tijori had all the saying in the house as the patriarch of the family. So, she didn’t have the courage to do it professionally. Rani knew about that, because she heard her doing it multiple times on the phone, so she encourages her to make a career out of it.

We also notice one more crucial thing that, Gayatri was a healthy woman, (not using words like fat, or obese, because they are usually meant to degrade someone) she never got to have a say in her marriage. Everything was decided by tijori and her grandmother. Also, she was called “golu” golu, golu, because of her weight, we don’t think before we say, but it can hurt people a lot, basically she was fat shamed in her own house, but she couldn’t say anything as if there was an unspoken rule that women should shut up.

Tijori had forgotten to be a good son, and hence he couldn’t be a good father too, to be a good son/ father, you have to know what being a bad father/son feels like, he couldn’t connect with his own father, because his mother had her own problems with his father. Dhanlaxmi had failed her son, as a mother, and tijori had failed Gayatri, as her father.

On the other hand, we see rani’s mother takes rocky for bra shopping, which makes him extremely uncomfortable, there’s a fine line between respect and shame. Rocky did not truly respect women, he was ashamed of shopping for undergarments with rani’s mother. It was humiliating for him as a man, because how can he?

He was ashamed, he had shame within himself. That was not respect, if he had respect in his heart, he won’t have felt ashamed like the way he did. Rani’s mother explains to him that when Indian women are washing their husband’s undergarments everyday without shame, then why can’t you? She explained to him that there was nothing to shame himself for, it was just another piece of clothing.

Rani’s father is a kathak dancer, at first, it makes rocky laugh, coming from his orthodox family with shitty morals, of course, he’ll think that. Men don’t dance, men don’t entertain, because that is what women do. That’s what some shitty motherfuckers think. (Men will be triggered & I love to see that, yes give your unnecessary opinions, because you can’t see yourself and you have to bash others, since that is all you’re good at)

Rani’s father was made fun of deliberately by dhanlaxmi, she wanted him to feel humiliated, and be laughed at. After that, rocky apologizes, because he understands that art does not have gender, rani’s father was the only male student in his class, and he was made fun of by his classmates, when everybody was choosing to be doctors, engineers, he chose to be a dancer, an entertainer. And men don’t do that. Men do manly things like putting women down, showing how much of a man they can be, boosting their ego every chance they get, lol. That’s what the definition of “being a man” is in the society.

Hearing rani’s father, rocky learns about a new perspective that he had not thought about. And, he is a good person, so he rectifies his mistakes, and starts learning kathak with other students.

Rani’s father does not resent him after that, and when things don’t go the way Rani wants to, she says that she wants to come back, because she thinks it’s not working, but he tells her to stay there.

He understands that he was wrong too, he laughed at rocky, didn’t like his way of living. The way he hugs everyone, talks a lot, does not know English, he understands that without all of these things too, Rocky is a man, it doesn’t make him less of a person. They both apologize to each other for their mistakes. And that scene is my favourite.

Rani is not someone who will stay a doormat, she’ll fight for her loved ones, and when tijori sees Rocky dancing on the stage with rani’s father (sorry, i forgot his name) both dhanlaxmi and tijori storm out of the hall. Rani and him have a disagreement, she does not actually uh, sorry for the lack of a better word. Tijori disrespects rani’s father, and that hurts her, so she fights with him, and that creates a big conflict between Rani and Rocky.

Rani hates it when her loved ones are disrespected, and hence she gets angry at her family too, because they tell her that she shouldn’t have slapped his hand away like she did. She had hurt not only rocky’s feelings but her families’s too.

Tijori understands that he failed as a son, husband, and father. When Gayatri tells him that they fatshamed her, and never actually gave her the respect she deserved.

Tijori forgot that her mother didn’t allow him to be a good son to his father, he loved his father, and wanted to bond with him, but he was never allowed to. That’s not his fault, he was a child, but he had a choice when he grew up, and he decided to do as his mother says, not knowing that his mother could be wrong.

Dhanlaxmi hated her husband because he cheated on her, that was wrong on his part, but they should have been honest with each other, all they did by being together was ruin each other’s lives, and their sons & daughter’s too. She could not see that she was hurting her son, she only saw her pain, and she used her son to get away from the pain in her life, not knowing that she’s hurting her son in the process.

In the end, she can’t face Rani because of her pride, so she writes a letter to Rani, saying that she’s passing the ladoo’s recipe to her, basically passing on her business to Rani. (Not her grandson, but her daughter - in - law) That’s the most nicest thing she’s done in the entire movie.

I loved how the little things are taken into consideration, this movie is pretty good, honestly a 1000/10 ⭐💕

[whatyourusherthinks]

The Color Purple Review

To cut this review extremely short, The Color Purple is excellent. It tells a very gripping story, the characters are engaging and you want to see them become happy, and the music and staging is excellent. Go see it if the movie piques your interest even slightly.

What's The Movie About?

The Color Purple tells the story of Celie, a black woman who is separated from her sister and forced to marry an abusive farmer by her abusive father, learning to stand up for herself and escape her truly shitty situation.

What I Like.

The first thing that jumps out at me is the music. Despite not being religious, I love spirituals and hymns, I find their energy infectious and the music extremely catchy. I also like blues, which is pretty much all the music in the movie. The spirituality of this movie was interesting as well, even though it was was being applied to me, a staunch non God-believer. I appreciate that the movie handles really intense topics, but in a way that doesn't make me want to turn my head. Also, I knew nothing about the story before watching this movie, so I was pleasantly surprised when suddenly lesbians happened. I also appreciate that the message is that forgiveness is good, but don't go back to your piece of shit ex-husband even if he has changed his ways. John Batiste from Stay Human was a surprise cameo and I liked that. Oh yeah, and all the acting is really good.

What I Didn't Like.

Uh... There was a scene where it looked like there was Coca-Cola cooler in the background which I think looked anachronistic. There's a bit where the drunk husband is telling Celie that she's too ugly to make it in Memphis and I'm just like "What the hell are you talking about? Everyone in this movie is gorgeous except your dad." I dunno this movie is really good.

Final Summation.

Like I said before, the Color Purple is an excellent movie, and tells a story which all would benefit to experience. My biggest criticism is that there wasn't any Wow Factor. If you've seen the trailer and know the story it's exactly what you expect, there's nothing crazy to excite you. But so what? There's nothing wrong with something that meet expectations the best it possibly can.

[blueberrynihilism]

My review of Juice Wrld's Rich and Blind.

Juice Wrld was and still is a really important artist to me, in that, he, like I do, had so much potential. However, he suffered from severe depression from a young age, which as much as it didn't impair his skills, meant that I only got to experiencing his craft for a few years. When he died in 2019, a year which was beyond disastrous to me, I had just begun to fall in love with his work. I'll never forget the day I watched Spider-man Into The Spider-Verse on the day he passed. "Hide" featuring Seezyn came on in the movie, and it just broke me. "Rich and Blind' is a song in which Jarad speaks about the internal conflict of having plenty in material possessions and the like, but simultaneously feeling a void from within, and not knowing why it's the case, when there are seemingly plenty of reasons to be happy. The first half of the song contains some really nihilistic lyrics,: "I know they lace pills, I bought them on purpose", a truly melancholic and borderline suicidal admittance of not holding one's life in decent regard anymore, as a coping mechanism from the discomfort. A lot of people have said, and rightfully so if I may add, that Juice Wrld's music, particularly those recorded near his death became a little monotonous in that they all revolved around substance abuse, depression and the difficulty of living with this reality. But honestly, I feel like that was probably the best depiction of living with this cloud of your head - after a few weeks, months or even years you begin to stop feeling shitty about feeling shitty. "I know I have a purpose, but I dont't see the purpose" is another scathing reflection on this lack of direction, and the sheer vulnerability that arises from knowing that even though you know you're here for something, you just can't find that drive, and the line along with a few others is delivered with such a casual cadence, again, emphasising this nihilistic view of life, or just not caring anymore.

However, this song has probably one of the best examples that of Jarad's ability to contrast pessimism with optimism in the space of a few verses, while also somehow seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, even when you're sure the light is merely a flashlight. One of my favourite lyrics from the song "This is dedicated to you if you felt the lowest of the low, I know how it feels, you don't wanna struggle anymore", and "Keep my eyes in the sky, 'cause that's where I'm moving", where his way of trying to motivating his fanbase who may have had similar experiences he's had, by letting them know that it gets better, even if it doesn't seem that way. It's hard for me to get out of bed, let alone find the energy to write this review, but I felt I had to at least get this done, because depression is like a malignant tumor; it just gives you the impression that nothing matters, even when that isn't the case, which can unfortunately deprive the world the light you have within. Even I find myself dealing with the existential crisis of knowing what I can bring to the world. People always tell me that they see great things in me, but I have to be honest, sometimes I struggle to see that myself. However, the reason I share this is because even if just one person reads this, someone who maybe has similar issues they're facing, maybe they can be reassured to keep moving forward, even when they don't feel like it. Regardless, always find a way to bring positivity in the world. Yes, life is really gross, you may have a voice or six that want you to cross the road without looking both ways, and we'll all have our hurdles, some that may as well be chronic, if not terminal. But what you can control is the output you put into the world. Jarad probably won't get to hear or see this, but regardless of his struggles he managed to inspire a generation that feels hopeless and scared of the future, and his legacy will live forever, or at least for as long as I'm alive.

I guess that's the point of this first review, in that, it's more about the power and importance music has in my life. Some days I'll feel bad, and like I hate myself, but regardless of that, I can at least try to make the lives of those around me a little less shitty, even if it's just as a cheerleader. This December will mark 4 years since he passed, and even though it still hurts a bit, his work helped me in ways I cannot contain in a few paragraphs, and I feel that deserves to be cherished not mourned. Out of 10, I'd give it a 7.5 - it's not the most groundbreaking song ever, but there are a few instances where that can take the backseat, seeing that the gravity of the subject matter is more important. It's a tough listen, but honestly, I feel like it's the best way to actually come to terms with the internal conflict someone in such circumstances wrestles with each day. I plan on using this platform as a means of spurring you on wherever in the world you are, because yes, it gets better, but you have to at least try, and I guess that just be my way of giving myself a reason to get out of bed each morning.

-alphadoradus

[apple-pecan]

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

although i have not seen this movie in it's entirety until a few nights ago, i do have some history with this film that goes back to my childhood. we had the film on VHS, and while my siblings loved it and sang the theme song repeatedly, i never actually watched most of it because my neurodivergent ass could not sit down and watch an entire 90 minute movie.

flash forward 20 years, and i was cracking jokes to a friend about artax the horse sinking for some bizarre reason (i saw the nostalgia critic video featuring the artax scene), and then realized "huh, you know i haven't actually WATCHED this movie..." and here we are now, writing this awful review. this is considered a classic children's movie among 80's kids, and while i really liked parts of it, i was left feeling unfulfilled.

bastian is a grade school kid going through a shitty time. mom passed away, dad is distant, constantly bullied, the works. his only escape is through books, and he finds a book one day that is truly different from any other, one where he vividly feels the same emotions of the book's main character, atreyu. this is a cool premise and i was excited to see where it was going but when the movie (ironically) ends, i was just like "huh okay..." bastian doesn't really learn anything and a few of the plot threads introduced in the beginning don't really get resolved. i was looking forward to the scene where, maybe, he could reconnect with his father after they both went through a tragic event. after the scene where bastian and his dad briefly talk, his dad never shows up again for the rest of the movie!!! instead he just chases his bullies down the street on a flying dragon and the movie just ENDS!!!!! HUH????????

disappointing ending aside, this movie was pretty enjoyable up until that point. the fantasy world of... fantasia looks really believable and out there with some fun set designs and puppets for it's fantasy characters, namely the rockbiter and falkor. it's very... 80's, but idk i still think it's cool and charming. i also really liked it's music score a lot, with both it's synths and orchestral music; probably my favorite part of the movie. and let's face it that theme song IS super catchy.

apparently the reason the ending feels the way it does is because it only adapts the first half of the book it's based on, and it certainly feels that way considering the painfully unsubtle sequel hook at the very end. in fact, the author of the novel was so displeased with the script he was sent that he demanded they stop the film's production at once, or at least change the title of the movie. of course, they did neither so he tried to sue them. he lost. oops. either way, there are certainly sequels to this but most think they suck and what's worse, they barely take any cues from the rest of the book. oh well! it's a fun, cute movie with a cool meta message about not letting your childhood imagination die out, even if it runs out of steam during the last three minutes. either way im glad to have finally watched it all these years later.

3/5

NOTE: NEVERENDING STORYYYYYYYYYYYYY AHAHAH AHAHAH AHAHAH FUCK YOU THIS SONG IS NEVER LEAVING MY HEAD

[rrxnjun]

i hope u can figure out one for it;-; but like that is mind blowing cuz he is just so aesthetically pleasing but now that im trying to come up with a url with his name nothing comes to mind so actually hoping u will figure out something;-; i'm praying it will go away soon!!!

i love thrill ride im very happy u liked it!! and i hope that u will find some that u will like out of the recommendations cuz they have very good songs out there:o YESSS it's just too goddamn hard too recommend songs;-; (i actually struggle so much with it it suckswhbejdnf ;-;)

i didn't know any of them!! but i really liked movie star cinema and without you!!! and the other ones were great as well but those were the songs that stood out for me:o but WITHOUT YOU!!?!?! i'm glad u told me about this song cuz i would be heartbroken if i wouldn't have known about this amazing song

thank u🥲 it won't prepare us in hungary as well all of the people who i talked with and go to uni said that it is going to be very different and much harder in some ways;-; goddamn then i will try to get myself ready for that but i'm probably half way there cuz i'm already praying to just pass my maths exam🥲🥲

so very sorry about being gone again!! i had my exams this week so i barely looked at my phone cuz of preparing and since i fucked up my most important one i have just been staring at my walls and contemplating life🤭 so yeah sorry to be gone🫡 and hope u are good and well!!!!!🥳💕💞 (liebestraum anon)

update: i didnt come up with anything better than what i already had so if the spirit of god himself doesnt magically give me a better idea im just gonna be stuck w a shitty url bc i refuse to not have a jihoon url ig AHAHA

i am afraid to say that i havent listened to much more yet bc ive been studying a lot and havent had the time 😭😭😭 i once again promise to listen to more after exams are over!! i'll give you a full review and everything dw >:(( i'm sure i'll find some i like!!

YOU LIKED MY MOST FAV SONGS !!!!!!!! without you is such a beautiful song its so refreshing i think. like they dont have the usual boygroup noise music concept we see (and love, come on i stan nct) and its so nice to listen to. their vocals also!!! more in love w cix each day. please watch this perf of without you if you have time and energy to its what made me stan actually

uni is always harder but when youre a high schooler its hard to admit that to yourself ;-; (speaking from personal experience LMAO) but i truly hope u get adjusted fine and quick!! i didnt have to study as hard in hs so i think the workload was the most shocking thing for me that i had to get used to, so if you are used to studying a lot and having a lot of assignments maybe it wont be that different after all! praying for your maths exam im sure you'll rock it!!!

its okay!! im taking ages to reply too and im barely on this blog bc of exams >:(( hope your exam didnt go as badly as you think it did, sometimes we are just too pessimistic. how did your other exams go?? im manifesting good grades for you mwah!!! hope you are taking care of yourself and relaxing after all the studies. im looking forward to hearing from u when things get easier on your end (and mine too, 3 most difficult exams left so im honestly manifesting i pass LMAO)

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[saddvamain]

The fact that real movie reviewers acted like nocturnal animals was good and just neglect to approach the blatant, horrific misogyny of the film makes me feel insane

[kaythefloppa]

Anti Cassarian Post

TW: Mentions of abuse, drugging, assault/rape, pedophillia, incest, and proshitting (this will VERY much play into the topic)

Anytime I see some fuck-wad make a long thread or comment about why Cassarian isn’t a proship, or why its supporters are “victims of harassment from the anti’s and uWu” the only thing that comes into my mind are these images (if they’re different sizes, sorry)

My main argument against this ship is that Cassandra a 26 year old woman, and Varian is a 17 year old boy. That alone should be any good reason not to ship this. However an additional reason as to why this ship should die in hell is because Cassandra abuses Varian a lot throughout the series and this is the BIGGEST and by far the worst case for this. @rachelbethhines mentioned it in her review of Cassandra’s Revenge, and I feel the need to credit her for bringing this info to life, but Cassandra [off-screen] assaults Varian and knocks him out, and then proceeds to drug him in his sleep, and then coerces him once he wakes up. Not to mention he proceeds to re-imprison him and hold him over a far ledge where any attempt at escape would lead to his doom.

There have been MANY situations where someone will get their partner drunk in order to get them under the influence and do things that they wouldn’t agree on doing if they were sober. This is often called the “date-rape” and yes, it is illegal (or at least I very much HOPE it is). 

And before I get any comments on how “Duh, that’s the point, she’s the villain,” the show tried to paint her as sympathetic and she receives no consequences for this, nor does Varian get any form of justice for what she does to him or his home. Cassandra is and always will be Varian’s abuser and nothing can or will erase that. What’s also sick is that in the 2nd-to-last episode, Varian is shamed by Rapunzel for wanting to use a weapon to protect Corona from Cassandra. Y’know, after 5 episodes ago, she smiled at doing bodily damage to him, and one episode later, he mind-wiped his father, aunt and uncle. So we have the case of a victim wanting to stand up for themselves but being shot down by someone who has enabled said abuser.

And y’all still ship them?!??

“But there’s always the future where-”

NO.

If you have to age a canonically underage character up to ship them with a canonically adult character, you missed the point of why shipping them is wrong, and the point I made above, wouldn’t absolve this ship’s shittiness.

“But Rapunzel and Flynn had an age ga-”

FUCKING. NO.

Rapunzel and Eugene were both consenting adults who grew to understand each other and neither tried to abuse one another (at least in the film).

If you have to use the existence of another ship to justify your bad ship, guess what? That doesn’t absolve your ship as being bad! Especially if it’s a proship. You could easily just not ship it at all. It’s basic fucking logic.

“It’s fictional.”

That... literally does not mean anything. At all. Shipping minors with adults is still pedophillia and [hopefully] hella illegal. Fiction affects reality. There’s a reason we put trigger warnings on movies, tv episodes, or even fan-fics (assuming that you are actually considerate of people’s triggers unlike *SOME* people). There’s a reason why some topics like incest are never used at all (for example, the Lion King films had to re-write their stories to avoid incest in the final cut). Because fiction is a product of, and therefore affects reality. A child, or anyone impressionable in general, does not need to see fan-art of a child marrying an adult who previously tried to crush him to death. 

Imagine if someone who is a victim of pedophillia saw people shipping someone their age with an adult and defending it to the high heavens. Or if someone at the age of 20, or an adult in general saw people comfortable with shipping someone their age with a literal child. When you truly open up your eyes, this is actually a dangerous ship to support in a fandom filled with minors. 

Cassandra x Varian has the same problem as Chris Kratt x Martin Kratt. It’s downright abusive, offensive to people who have gone through similar situations, and the glorification of these ships can lead to impressionable minors mimicking these pairings and thinking it is OK. And worst of all, it’s usually adults who ship this. Like, human beings with fully developed cortexes, and one of the few creatures with the ability to speak and all you’re here doing is pairing an adult with a kid, or shipping two real-life brothers and making art-work of them? (I’ll give Cassarian credit that I am yet to stumble across any R34 art of them and I wish to keep it that way)

So bottom-line, Cassarian is a toxic ship, not only because it is a proship (pedophillia) but because it ships a victim of physical and psychological abuse, with their abuser.

The creator, Chris Sonnenburg himself even claimed that Cassandra loves Varian “as a friend.” Even though I call BS on the idea that Cassandra was ever a “friend” to Varian, or that Varian would reciporicate anything Cassandra throws at him (y’know that isn’t the embodiment of death), I do find some relief that this ship is offically non-canon and I hope the rumors of a storyboard artist confirming a ship are nothing more than false rumors (if not, I am genuinely going to burn my computer /hyp)

I frankly do NOT care if I get cancelled or sub-tweeted for this. I’ve been holding in this rage for soo fucking long and it’s time I get it out now because this needs to be said.

TLDR: STOP FUCKING SHIPPING CHILDREN WITH ADULTS WHO ABUSE THEM

[kosmosguk]

5 days of spooktober~ #2: carnal

day #2: vampire seokjin x reader

word count: 1.4k

summ. midnight is a horrific hour to be awake, and it is at midnight in which you open the door to the ceo’s office and discover the bloody monster that lurks underneath his gentlemanly disguise.

warnings: mature themes (cunnilingus, bloodplay(ish?), mindbreak), dubcon themes, death, violence, gore, yandere, 18+, near-death experiences, explicit language

a/n: the fact that i managed to get part 2 out ?? on time ??? this is a whole celebration- hoping to make up for my inactivity thru this spooky series. also the rough draft was delirious so i had to rewrite it and i vibe with this version so much more. ty for 3.5k babes and happy halloween (10 days early) <3 lemme know if i made any mistakes because i never review my work before posting oops

You remember as a little girl how your grandma would gently stroke your hair, tucking locks of it behind your hair, and look outside at the night. She would hum a lullaby as she lulled you to sleep, and before you could close your eyes, you would hear her say aloud:

“Never be outside at midnight.”

As a little girl, you had thought it to be a serious remark, the kind that settled into your nightmares where beasts would emerge from the shadowy depths of your closet when the clock struct midnight. As an adult, you now viewed it as a doting relative’s overprotective instinct coming out at as an unconventional comment.

But now, you couldn’t help remembering those moments as you opened the door of your boss’s office, and as the grandfather clock in the room struck midnight, your eyes fell on your boss’s teeth buried in the crook of the new intern’s neck.

You froze, the files in your hand dropping like the overdramatic, overplayed scene of some cheesy low-budget horror movie, and you made eye contact with the man…no monster…in the room.

There was blood, the deep crimson color of mortality, stained over his features, soaking his jaw and the collar of his black shirt, and you could feel the images of him kindly smiling at you as you handed him his coffee shattering in your mind and being replaced with images of the true monster he had been hiding all along.

You were one of the only few people left in the building, and you clasped a hand over your mouth before you could scream. You could not risk anyone else being in danger.

You watched, petrified, as your boss dropped the intern onto the floor, and her body made a hollow thud as she hit the ground. You heard a low moan of pain come from her, and a part of you was grateful that she was still alive, but a majority of you was terrified of what fate you were to undergo.

“Secretary (L/n),’’ his voice was like a purr, and he wiped the blood off his chin and lapped it up, his eyes refusing to wave from the strong hold they held over yours. You were lost in the depths of his eyes, the sheen of red that replaced his normal gentle brown, and your unconscious attempt for a scream strangled in your throat. “Overtime?’’

God, this was the bad pinnacle of some B-grade horror blockbuster, and it seemed like you were the unfortunate side character. If you had been watching yourself from the comfort of your sofa, you would have laughed and commented on how shitty the movie was. But it was different when you were that unfortunate character.

“Yes, sir,’’ you regained your composure and tried to ignore the elephant—or in this case, the unconscious girl—in the room before gesturing at the scattered documents on the ground,’’ I was wondering if you could sign these documents, Boss Kim, but it seems like you’re…preoccupied.”

Come on, a few more words, and you would be out of here dialing the number of the nearest emergency provider. Your boss was nuts, and that should have been capitalized and dotted with an exclamation mark.

“Should I get some help for your…dinner date? Or may I leave now?’’ your voice sounded wry, a sure distance away from the inner panic you were feeling. Your boss looked taken aback, and for a moment, you almost thought you could see the gentle him of the day return. But then he opened his mouth, showing a glimpse of brutally sharp fangs, and laughed.

“That’s what I love most about you, Secretary (L/n). You never seem surprised at anything,’’ he took steps closer to you, stepping over the paperwork on the ground and leaving bloody footsteps on them. He sounded pleased…too pleased.

“I want to see what it’s like for you to unravel. Don’t mind the mess, Secretary (L/n), or may I—?’’ he was close now. You couldn’t move as he reached behind you and shut the door behind you and locked it with a resounding click. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, and his voice was like a domineering taunt as he fondly stroked your still cheek with his unusually cold hand.

“I’ve always kept an eye on you. You’re…quite different from my previous secretaries. They fell like easy prey when I wanted them to, all for some money that wouldn’t even be worth much once they’re dead. But you...,” he chuckled and took your hand, pressing a frigid kiss on the curve of your knuckles,” For some reason, I don’t quite like the idea of you being dead…even though you just smell so tempting.’’

He held you closer to him, and your voice felt trapped in your throat. He slid his palm down the curve of your waist and held you tightly as if you were the lover of a beast. And perhaps, in that moment and in every moment from then on, you were.

“I imagined her as you, but it didn’t seem the same. Even when I ripped my teeth through her neck, all she did was plea to me to take her as my lover. But now…Now I have you.”

He was smearing blood on you again as his teeth sunk into the soft curve of your neck, and you felt dizzy as he drank from you. It hurt. It hurt so, so much. But you could feel a buzz, tingling underneath your punctured skin and spreading down into a heat in your stomach. You tried to fend him off, but…

Your eyes were glazing over now. You felt him take his fangs out of your neck and lower to the ground, and you were being pressed to the door as he spread your legs and fervently lapped at your clothed pussy before ripping through your stockings and sinking his tongue into your trembling hot walls.

“Mmph!’’ your attempt to speak came out as a muffled moan, and your fingers tried to claw at the edge of the door as each movement of your boss’s tongue stroked a churning fire in your stomach. He pulled away one step before you could come, your slick coating his tongue and snapping as he went lower to your inner thighs and sunk his teeth into the flesh.

It should have hurt this time. You should have been screaming. But for some reason, the tinge of pain added a new edge to your dazed high, and you were panting as he sucked at the blood. You felt his finger probe at your soaked walls and then they were stroking your clit, rolling over the hardened bud in light strokes that left you trembling. You could feel your eyes roll back, and your voice broke out in lewd moans of his name.

“Boss Kim…ngh…Boss Kim, I want you…please, please,’’ you were close to sobbing now, every fear drained from you along with your blood, and you gripped his soft hair in tight fists as you sank into a toe-curling climax.

He was back on his feet now, and you could feel how hard he was as he pressed closer against you, his tongue dragging against the wounds on your neck. Your clothes were soaked with a mixture of your own blood and the intern’s, but you could hear the unzipping of Boss Kim’s slacks. He wasn’t done, and as you cupped his sculpted jaw with shaky hands, your eyes still glazing over as the burning heat of your trembling walls seared your insides, and pleaded for him to fuck you, you realized you weren’t done either.

Perhaps, if you had listened to your grandma’s warning for you to never come outside after midnight, you would have been safe, oblivious to what truly transpired on behind the closed doors of your boss’s office at night. Or maybe the outcome would have remained the same, with a blood-soaked you pinned underneath the rutting hips of your ravenous boss.

A part of you hoped for the latter. And as you held onto him tightly, you heard the clock strike half past midnight.