#(apart from melodifestivalen because I am Swedish and love being

[icypiece]

Perfect voting presentation. No notes.

[no-gays-in-russia]

Melodifestivalen final tops: 2003

10. TKO (Knock You Out)- Bubbles: who leaked the tape of my best friends and I putting on a show for our moms in the early 2010s?

9. Bye Bye- Barbados: if there is two things I like about Barbados, that’s that they sing in Swedish, and Magnus Carlsson. This song has neither.

8. Genom Eld Och Vatten- Sarek: I know this is a big fan favourite, but it just sounds really chaotic to me. I will be honest- I could find positive things about it, but it sounds so cacophonous that I cannot focus on anything else. 

7. Crazy In Love- Jill Johnson: honestly this song is not even that bad, it’s quite solid and was clearly written by someone who knows what they’re doing, and it’s enjoyable too... But you know when there are certain things that make you so angry for no reason at all? Like, they just make your blood fucking boil? This is it. 

6. Aqua Playa- Afro-Dite: this is really good- they’re always charismatic and so entertaining to watch, perfect vocals and amazing harmonies, catchy and fun song. The issue is that this came directly the year after they won with Never Let It Go- and damn, that song is AMAZING. It’s inevitable to compare the two and it’s inevitable that this one will lose. 

5. Maria- Östen Med Resten: when I tell you I am obsessed with this? They sing in Spanish and Swedish, are dressed like mariachi, and have this incredibly fun song that has absolutely no reason to exist but to be entertaining? Bye this is everything I love about Melodifestivalen. 

4. Hela Världen För Mig- Sanna Nielsen: I never cared for this until I actually sat down and took some time to listen to the whole song and actually focus on it. Nice, very optimistic sounding ballad, definitely sounds like something out of a Disney movie. I always found it a bit basic and repetitive, and thought that despite the nice melody and good structure it doesn’t really have anything setting it apart- but I’ve started thinking Sanna’s stunning vocals almost (almost) make up for it. Her crystalline voice and clean technique fit a song like this perfectly, and her runs and variations actually add something interesting and captivating to it. 

3. Let Your Spirit Fly- Pernilla Wahlgren & Jan Johansen: I find this song very similar to Hela Världen För Mig, in the sense that with the simple and positive lyrics, clean vocals and sweet melody it feels like something you could find in a Disney movie. I think what makes me like this one a bit better is mostly the fact that it is a duet- I think duets, especially male-female, are almost always a winning choice because having two people singing instead of one is the simplest way to introduce variation and prevent the song from being plain and boring. Here, in particular, the contrast between Pernilla’s light and soft voice, and Jan’s more low and raspy one, works really well in making the song dynamic. 

2. Give Me Your Love- Fame: I don’t know what to tell you other than this is a bop. 

1. Not A Sinner Nor A Saint- Alcazar: I-C-O-N-I-C. No bye this is perfect and the fact that it didn’t win makes me absolutely LIVID. First of all, so iconic that Magnus Carlsson just ditched his former band and competed straight against them, coming in third while they got last? Shit that only happens in Sweden and that’s why I love this country. Brilliant structure with the piano intro and soft harmonised vocals, then more upbeat instrumental intro, I love the alternation in the verses with Andreas’s part/Magnus’s part/Tess and Annika’s part. If I have one complaint, it would be that I wish Tess and Annika harmonised their part, like they did in later concerts after Lina replaced Annika- with them both singing the melody it sounds a little flat. But this song is so well-written and exciting, with overall great vocals and harmony, amazing structure and it is just so iconic, 10/10 should have gone to Eurovision. 

[raevfitta]

Eurovision Semifinal 1

I’m going to rewatch the first semifinal and go through the songs today because I don’t think watching on my phone, in the pub, gave me the best impression of the performances (it always prevented me from actively commenting.....). I will hopefully be able to do preview thoughts for the second semifinal in the afternoon so I feel “prepared.” This is a mix between my expectations, reactions, and general whininess. 

I can just comment that the Salty Swedish commenters went right for the throat when they commented how the Ukrainians decided that three young white men are how to “celebrate” diversity. Justtttt....

1.  Sweden Robin Bengtsson "I Can’t Go On" (Advanced to finals) - I complained during Melodifestivalen that this wasn’t my favourite song. And it still isn’t. I think that Nano and Wictoria had better songs and performances but whatEveR here we ARE with THIS. I always want Sweden to win (just so I can go to the final lolll) but to me this doesn’t sound like a winning song. It is Justin Timberlake lite and he just BOTHERS ME. He looks like if an alien were to try to create an attractive human from memory and something went wrong in the process. But in the Sea of Ballads that is this year, I at least enjoy that the song is “upbeat.” He doesn’t blow me away, needless to say. 3/5 And a question about this performance, are they not wearing socks???? 

2.  Georgia Tamara Gatjetjiladze "Keep the Faith" (Did not advance) - This semifinal was a slog to get through just because of (as the Swedish commentators pointed out) the Jamala effect. This song was three minutes long but felt soooo much longer. She looks like some one performing on the ferry to Finland. We trained but just meh. I think she had a decent voice and an okay performance but the song was just...so middle of the row. 3/5

3.  Australia Isaiah "Don't Come Easy" (Advanced to finals) - Other than the ballad trend, the X-Factor/Voice/Idol trend realllllyyyy bothers me. He sings really well but this song sounds like a fucking Idol final. This is the first Australia song that didn’t blow me away on the first listen. I fucking hate the stupid pictures of performers as the backdrop too so this song can go fuck itself. It has more drama live (except for that odd squeaking thing he did towards the end when he tried to reach a high note wtf was that) but loses points because of the spinning video of himself in the background. I knew it would go to the finals on reputation alone but that’s the same with Sweden. You’ve got to really phone it in to not make the finals from Aus and Swe. 3/5

4.  Albania Lindita "World" (Did not advance) - I could guess from the recorded version that she would not do well live and well, here we are. Eurovision continues its tradition of not being able to afford pants for female entrants and the men’s pants are getting shorter and shorter...This is another plodding ballad that is so empty of meaning. I’m not surprised this didn’t advance. Forgettable. 2/5

5.  Belgium Blanche "City Lights" (Advanced to finals) - I was so happy when this advanced. She still looks scared performing but I really enjoy the text and the tempo of this song. This is a song that grows on me and reminds me a little of Anouk’s “Birds” from ESC2013, which was another song that grew on me. I wish that Blanche didn’t look petrified of performing. It’s like she would rather be singing behind a partition or something. 4/5 

6.  Montenegro Slavko Kalezić "Space" (Did not advance) - The first upbeat song and of course it didn’t go to the finals. This has a bit of Modern Talking feel and is just classic Eurovision. His voice is not that strong live but he makes up for it with enthusiasm. He needed backup dancers or something because he looks sort of ... lonely... on the stage with only himself and his hair. But again the stupid fucking spinning images of the performer sour this for me. Entertaining and upbeat at least!!! 3/5 (They kept cutting to the crowd and they do not look like they are having a good time....and lol the app keeps telling me that there are tickets left the finale??? What???)

(And the hosts make me miss Petra, as much as I actively dislike her. They are like annoying little cousins that think they are funny but just UGH.)

7.  Finland Norma John "Blackbird" (Did not advance) - I didn’t enjoy this from the album but when I heard (and watched) this, this really grew on me. It reminded me (a little) of the Common Linnets from 2014. I guess it was a 50-50 if this or Belgium were going to go on and Belgium took it. She sings with passion and this song grows on me. Too bad, try again next year Finland. 4/5.

8.  Azerbaijan Dihaj "Skeletons" (Advanced to finals) - Fucking Azerbaijan. She was like WHISPERING as she sung and good LORD that stage performance looked like something a high school drama club would put on with the theme “how to make Eurovision memes but Italy already took Harambe so I guess Horsehead masks are still big right???”. This reminded me of SO MANY “middle of the road” Eurovision songs. Is there something wrong with her MIC? Just ugh. This is another song that takes a million years. Can she be Skeletor instead? 0/5

9.  Portugal Salvador Sobral "Amar pelos dois" (Advanced to finals) - Okay, finally a song not in English. I love the story behind this song and find the performance really charming, but the song is just not my cup of tea. It makes me think of something from a classic movie. It’s nice that it went to the finals and I like how it is an actual song with meaning behind its metaphors rather than just Random Metaphor Generated ballads like most of the other songs tonight. 3.5/5 (not a winner but a fine song. Gets an extra half point for not being in English)

(I can’t wait to watch the semifinal and final without the commentators. Måns is fine but good lordddd Edward af Sillén is trying too hard ughhhhh)

10.  Greece Demy "This Is Love" (Advanced to finals) - Another typical Eurovision song but at least it is upbeat and not a plodding ballad. She is a little weak live but at least she wasn’t “alone” with her strange swan-men backup dancers splashing around. She actually looks embarrassed to have them there (but that could be the permanent smile she has plastered on her face). Meh. 3/5.

11.  Poland Kasia Moś "Flashlight" (Advanced to finals) - (More like FLESHLIGHT, am I right you guys????? Hahhahhaaa I’m so funny) I always have a soft spot for Poland. I don’t dislike this song but it is another “slowly building towards some sort of drama” ballad. Bring back the butter churners. 3/5. 

12.  Moldova SunStroke Project "Hey Mamma" (Advanced to finals) - Epic Sax Guy returns and does not disappoint. Too bad this song sounds like a discount Jason Derulo song. Upbeat song at least trying something a little different and giving another classic Eurovision moment (and moments come Saturday). This might be one of the few songs I put on a playlist post-competition (I can say that right now this year seems more forgettable than usual....) and even though the dance is fairly basic I might have to start doing more Running Man dance moves 4/5 (bonus points for that fucking saxophone because Internet.)

13.  Iceland Svala "Paper" (Did not advance) - It is always discouraging when none of the other “Nordic” countries make it out of the semis. Sweden does not spread the love, clearly. This reminds me of a Greta’s entry from last year a little. I don’t understand how goddamned Azerbaijan goes to the final but this doesn’t. I think she needed some backup dancers or something because she doesn’t know what to do with her arms. Shame she isn’t going forward but this was an average song to begin with. 3/5. 

(God damn the hosts are CREEPY and the jokes are so like UGH. The only thing that is more aggravating is how Edward is reacting because he sounds exasperated....)  

14.  Czech Republic Martina Bárta "My Turn" (Did not advance) - Poor Czech Republic. I really want them to do well and not back out of the competition again. But poor Martina looks EXHAUSTED out there like she didn’t sleep last night. I enjoy this song and thought it had a chance to make the finals over some shittier songs (*cough* Azerbaijan *cough*). Charming song, shame it isn’t going forward. But it is good they found Belgium’s outfit from last year in an adult size. 3/5

15.  Cyprus Hovig "Gravity"  (Advanced to finals) - This is a song that grows on me. It reminds me a little of Hungary from last year. BUT DO THEY FORBID SOCKS AND PANTS OF A PROPER LENGTH AT EUROVISION? Catchy song, a decent stage performance (although we’ve seen it before). Don’t see it winning but I will enjoy listening to it on Saturday. 4/5.

16.  Armenia Artsvik "Fly With Me"  (Advanced to finals) - Finally something that makes the song a little more “unique” (honestly, none of the previous entries sound like they are distinct or come from a specific country). I wish this was a little more upbeat but at least the refrain sticks with you. 3/5

17.  Slovenia Omar Naber "On My Way"  (Did not advance) - Like the Nordic countries, I am always in support of the Balkan countries doing well. And this semifinal didn’t really start well. I don’t really MIND this song (it is a “musical” number so it sticks with you like gum on the bottom of your shoe.) It has the qualities of a Disney protagonist’s “going to get what I want song” but redone by a company ripping off Disney. Poor Slovenia. The text was really bad omgggg. 2/5

18.  Latvia Triana Park "Line"  (Did not advance) - This would have been a decent song if it didn’t sound like you were listening to it through the wall of your neighbour’s apartment. I’m not surprised this didn’t make the finals. I wish they could have brought a little more “power” or something to it. They had potential but potential doesn’t always mean results. 2/5. 

General comments: The stage looks poorly designed to me. The performers look generally uncomfortable with such an expansive space. But we’ll see how Semifinal 2 shapes up....

[no-gays-in-russia]

Melodifestivalen final tops: 2002

10. No Hay Nada Mas- Javiera: apart from a couple exceptions, I don’t tend to be a huge fan of these Latin infused songs; just never have been my style. She has good vocals but her voice, along with the structure, the lyrics, the music and pretty much everything else, is just really mellow to me. A song either has to make me want to dance so hard or cry until I die, no in between. This is in between.

9. The One That You Need- Friends: again, very mellow song, without a solid structure, just weak and boring. Their 2001 entry was somewhat similar, but it at least had a catchy, well-rememberable hook. This one’s just annoying. 

8. Sista Andetaget- Jan Johnson: decent ballad, I like his voice and the fact that it’s in Swedish, but there isn’t really anything setting it apart from all the other ballads we hear every single year. I want to listen to a song and realize there’s a reason for it to have been written, but this sounds like one of those songs that were written just because they “had to”. Just took a mold and filled it and submitted it to SVT.

7. Big Time Party- Hanna & Lina: honestly, this is really growing on me. I do not want to like it, because the vocals are... interesting at times, the lyrics are cringy, and the whole song is just a little weird, but I do have to admit it’s incredibly catchy and honestly a lot of fun. Yeah, it’s random, but it is cute! Also I love Lina Hedlund- anything that involves her I’m going to love. And she and Hanna definitely have a lot of charisma and energy that add to the song itself. 

6. Vem E De Du Vill Ha- Kikki, Bettan & Lotta: who can deny this is iconic? Like Sista Andetaget it does somewhat give me that mold effect- but it is a mold that I like, so I can take it. You have three of the most iconic Swedish (Norwegian) Eurovision representatives, including a Eurovision WINNER, with a song written by Thomas G:Son- what more could you ask for?

5. Hon Kommer Med Solsken- Östen Med Resten: honestly, such a cute song. It’s so nice, catchy and sweet, gets me smiling like an idiot any time I listen to it. It’s something of a mild song, not being necessarily something you dance to, but I like it because instead of being boring it’s like something you can put in the background and enjoy discreetly while you go about your day. 

4. Kom Och Ta Mig- Brandsta City Släckers: the definition of iconic! Why are they dressed as firemen? I have no idea, but I love it! This honestly defines something of what I love to see in Melodifestivalen- catchy, fun, in Swedish, silly while also high quality. 

3. Adrenaline- Mèndez: yeah, this is the exception I was talking about earlier. I really like the rap verses, and the fact that it doesn’t necessarily sound like your typical Spanish summer hit, and it’s rather catchy, a bit dark, very upbeat and sustained. Again, mixing it with rap also contributed to making this different from what you’d expect- and I love it.

2. Never Let It Go- Afro-Dote: what a deserved winner, oh my God! Afro-Dite are such a power trio- they have immaculate vocals, energy and charisma through the roof, and I absolutely adore how you can feel their different personalities coming through their performance and working together to create something immensely enjoyable. The song itself is also really good, catchy and exciting, really full and masterful, with a wonderful structure. I love the spoken part too!

1. Världen Utanför- Barbados: I’m not exactly the biggest fan of Barbados, maybe because dansband is not really my genre. I of course, like any sane person, enjoy Kom Hem, but in general I tend to find their songs- like dansband songs in general- very mellow and boring. This one, though, is fast, catchy, slightly dark and exciting. Magnus has a beautiful, dark and rich voice and it fits a song like this so incredibly well. Nah I am just obsessed with this song, I love the structure with the instrumental intro, the chill verses and upbeat chorus, the bridge with the high note and key change. It is a really typical structure- but it works wonderfully! Honestly can’t comprehend how this only came fourth- I do think Afro-Dite’s win was 100% deserved, but Barbados should have at least come second. 

If any Swedish person is reading this (doubt it but who knows): hej och tack för att du läsar :)