#(by the time 02 movie is actually OUT maybe I'll be able to actually have ready the rest of all my drafted things and img sets)

[100dayswonder]

☆ 02. it’s september 6 2024

and i posted that previous entry and immediately started typing again because i was going to go to bed but then i was asked to print something out so i can't sleep quite yet

i guess i could talk about the real reason i wanted a space like this which was mostly to lament (?) over the state of my interpersonal affairs.......

specifically regarding relationships....

specifically regarding the crush that i had (... have?) on this one person who i'll call ana (for anaxyrus americanus because she told me at one point that she wanted to adopt toads) and the uncomfortable vibe around this one guy friend who i'll name specs.... yes

when it comes to anything on the internet it's best to exercise at least some layer of anonymity

i guess first with specs because he's actually easier to talk about in a way. i'll have to make up more aliases i realize, but specs is best friends with sky, who's married to my friend abel.

last year, specs developed a really intense crush on another one of our close friends leia, who also happens to be my cousin (which only really matters for later). it was ... interesting to say the least because they'd only really hung out on anything that might be considered a date maybe one or two times, but specs had convinced himself that he'd fallen in love with leia which made the fact that leia got into a relationship with someone else really... really awkward and specs didn't take it well at all (in a "he got really sad way" not in a "he got really scary way")

but after the leia debacle, he eventually moved on to develop a crush on me. which ... was odd because we'd only hung out together one on one once and it wasn't at all in a date context. in fact the outing was a movie i'd invited multiple friends to in a group chat and because it was last minute only one person (specs) happened to be able to make it out to see it that night

on top of that, i'm leia's cousin .. doesn't he feel embarrassed at all to randomly develop feelings for the person that rejected him (and not long after she did so either, at least in my opinion)

unlike with leia, however, i wasn't really able to turn specs down directly, as sky and his friends tried very hard to steer him away from me -- and it sort of worked in a bad way, where specs instead tried asking out another one of our friends who we'll call lisa .. and lisa also turned him down

and after that i'd assumed he was looking in other places, but as it turns out i found out just last weekend that he still has feelings for me!!!

normally i think this sort of thing would be no big deal for most people other than some awkwardness but...

specs knows i have a crush on ana

specs barely knows me

he may not know much about me but he knows i'm a lesbian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obviously knowing that won't change the fact that he has feelings for me BUT it is a little frustrating that he keeps making things weird because he refuses to even glance in a different direction and that i'm not allowed to outright reject him because everyone wants to let him off easier with me versus rehashing what happened with leia and lisa -- but he left them alone after they turned him down directly!!! i almost want to say just let it be my turn, please!!!!!!!!!!

it's frustrating and i'm sure that some would say that i'm being a little too harsh but abel vlogged some of our weekend and just looking back at past clips and interactions i'm being given the creeps and it also just reminds me of how specs wasn't upfront with his intentions with me during previous hangout invitations (meaning that he invited me out with intentions of it being a date, while letting me assume that he was inviting me out as a friend)!!!

i just...

AAARRUGUGGUHGHHHH--!!!

anyway this was mostly about specs and not so much about my own crush on ana because i'm getting tired and really would like to lie down as soon as possible but my behavior versus specs' behavior... it really hammers home the fact that i really don't know about relationships like that, even if i currently (?) have a crush on someone

i've always been a person who's okay with being single. i think it's because i don't like to chase very much. or maybe it's moreso fear of being rejected, and accepting that never expressing how i feel is less difficult than dealing with being rejected.

but even then, it's kind of like... i don't really know how i'm supposed to express those sorts of feelings.

like it can't always be as convenient as just bringing your crush aside and saying, hey, I like you.

and there's the friendship factor to consider.

like look at specs. i don't want anything to do with that guy right now because i know he has feelings for me.

i worried about that with me and ana i guess.

it doesn't help that i'm very openly into girls and i don't even know if ana likes girls that way either.. even though i got a tarot reading that said she was looking at me in a romantic way LOOOOOOL....................................... look "accuracy" in a reading depends on how well a reader can interpret cards and this reader is very good at it..

i don't know.

i'll save my thoughts regarding all of that for a different entry because it's later than i'd like for it to be and i really want to sleep.........

this cold is actually kind of balancing out my sleep schedule, but overall it just makes me want to sleep...

[katherinejblackwell]

Yours, Katherine #07 - Planning My Fall TBR

Also read on my website! | Other Socials

Photo by dilay (:

Dear Readers, It's technically still the middle of Summer, but with registering for classes and getting my things together for school next month, I'm starting to feel those first hints of Fall. I'm going to try to enjoy the Summer while it's still here and be grateful for the warm weather before we creep back towards Winter, but I also can't help being excited for my favorite season to start again. So, today, I'm going to plan out some of the books I'm hoping to read come Fall.

#01 - The Secret History by Donna Tartt

I've been trying to read this book for I want to say the past two or three years and, every time I start, I get maybe a fourth of the way through and then get distracted by something else and end up DNFing it. I think this year, it's going to be the first book on my list because I want to finally finish it and fill in the gaps in the story I have. I am interesed in the story, and I love the writing style, I'm just having trouble finishing. I think if I can push through the section I've already read and get into the new stuff, it'll pique my interest and I'll be able to make it to the end. I also think treating the paragraph breaks more like chapters than the actual chapters will help. If I remember correctly, every chapter is 50+ pages long, with a bunch of paragraph breaks per chapter. So, being used to chapters that are at least half that length, it can be a little hard to keep motivation when it almost feels like I'm not making any progress. Hopefully, treating those paragraph breaks like chapters instead will help me feel like I'm making tangible progress.

View The Secret History on Goodreads​

#02 - The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

Assuming I manage to finish The Secret History, I'd also like to read Donna Tartt's most recent novel, The Goldfinch. To start with, it won a Pulitzer Prize in 2014, and I'm not sure you can get a better recommendation than that. I also think I'll find the art elements interesting, and this particular line from the description really intrigues me: "As he grows up, Theo learns to glide between the drawing rooms of the rich and the dusty antiques store where he works." As a Downton Abbey fan, drawing rooms of the rich and dusty antiques sounds right up my alley. I'm also really interested to see what messages will lie behind the story since I know The Secret History is at least in part a social commentary about elitism within academia. I'd also like to watch the movie that came out a few years ago, and I always try to read the book before the adaptation.

View The Goldfinch on Goodreads​

 #03 - Deadfall Hotel by Steve Rasnic Tem

I'm honestly not super excited about this one, although I do still want to read it. I (semi)recently pulled this book and a ton of others I hadn't read off of my shelf and moved them to a different part of the room so I could try to work my way through them all and decide if I wanted to keep them or pass them along. The reason I'm not super excited, and haven't read it yet despite owning it for a few years, is because I think it's supposed to be kind of a horror, and I'm not really a horror person. I'm a big scaredy cat and horror tends to freak me out or just make me feel sick. It was kind of hard to get a good grasp of how scary it is from the reviews, so I'm preparing to DNF it while also holding out hope that it'll just be a semi-spooky-semi-sweet story that I'll end up enjoying enough to revisit now and again.

View Deadfall Hotel on Goodreads

 #04 - The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton

I'm pretty sure I've talked about this book here before, but I'm always ready to bring it up in any conversation ever. I don't generally like mysteries all that much, but I LOVED 7 1/2 Deaths, and it's my favorite mystery ever. I normally reread it around Fall and Winter and so far I've reread it once a year since I first read it 3 years ago. I think Stuart Turton is incredibly clever and I'd also like to read some of his newer works this Fall if I get a chance. I'm not sure what his other two books are like, but 7 1/2 Deaths at least is super interesting, particularly for the time loop element it has going on. The idea is that the main character is reliving the same day for seven days, and ever day he wakes up in a different person's body. (There's also a little more to it than that, but I won't write any spoilers here, and you can always feel free to go looking for them yourself.) The reason I find this so impressive is because it means that the author had to have a deep understanding of how the day progressed and be able to keep track of exactly what everyone was doing at different points in the day, as well as plot out how he was going to slowly reveal key details to the main character and the audience using the different perspectives. I'm really eager to take a crack at his other novels and see what else he's come up with.

View The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle on Goodreads

#05 - The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien

This is technically four books, but this series has been high on my priority list for such a long time. As a lover of the fantasy genre, I think this a long over due read. I have technically read The Hobbit a handful of times in audiobook* form, and I absolutely adored it, but with audiobooks, I tend to space and miss bits, so I want to be able to sit down and properly read the whole thing before I get into the trilogy. I was originally going to read these books during the Summer until I decided to read the Riordanverse books instead. When I get through all the Riordan books I'm trying to read (hopefully by September but unlikely), I'll probably get started on this series to transition me into Fall if I don't go for The Secret History first.

View J.R.R. Tolkien on Goodreads

Book Recommendation

My book recommendation for the month is the Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard series. I haven't gotten to rereading this in my quest to reread all the Riordanverse books yet, but I remember the first one being one of my favorite Rick Riordan books of all time. I think the cast of main characters are all really sweet with each other and I love their friendship. I specifically remember loving the final battle scene in the first book where all of the characters kind of have their moments to shine and they all come together against the enemy. 

No real drink rec this month, but once again encouraging you to go and drink some water because it's still summer, it's boiling out, and you need to replenish your body's stores.

I hope you enjoyed reading my letter this month. I look forward to hearing back from you, and I'll write again soon!

Yours, Katherine

*PS, The absolutely stellar audiobook of The Hobbit I read is by Bluefax. Unfortunately, the original uploads to YouTube had some strikes against them and had to be taken down. However, you can still find a few of the chapters on Bluefax's Soundcloud, and the full audiobook can still be found here on Spotify as a podcast, so even if you don't have premium it can still be played in the correct order from mobile. The Spotify doesn't belong to Bluefax, though, so if you'd like to support the creator, you can view the official YouTube channel I linked above to see BTS Hobbit content, and listen to a Pride and Prejudice audiobook!

[koushirouizumi]

* D O . N O T . r e b l o g

{Never thought I’d see the day drafts stayed at 500 again}

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[ladywaynebr]

Love at Chance ❤️

Part 01 - My new Neighbor

Word Count: 1,264 k

Warnings: None, just an angry and very distracted woman.

Summary: If Chris Evans were my neighbor.

You are a young black lawyer, living in NY, who works hard. A true queen that any man would like to have at his side. But you don't have time for fuckboys or any nonsense they want these days. You are a woman aware of your worth and you know what you want. But you spend so much time in the office that you are out of the action in the world of movie stars. Until one literally knocked on your door.

Author’s Note: This is my first story in English, you will certainly notice. It took me a while to have the courage to write in another language, but here it is. I hope you like it and forgive any mistakes. 

Thank you girls!

NOTE: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.

If you girls like it, I'll post the other parts - LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 

😊❤️

My personal life is not as successful as the professional one, I haven't had a serious relationship in a few years. My mother complains that she wants grandchildren, I'm an only child. I tell her that not having a husband and children doesn't make me less of a woman. But I miss a company, especially on days like today, when everyone goes out to celebrate or just stays at home enjoying each other. Maybe finding someone and raising a family is not what fate has in store for me.

After the bath I prepared a special breakfast, with toast and scrambled eggs. I love to cook, whenever possible I invite some friends over for dinner. Something that has become rare, most of them are married, in a relationship or just moved to another city. I'm going to spend the day in a bathrobe, slippers and bun in my hair. Free from makeup or any other production, one of the advantages of living alone, I can spend the day naked if I wish. I went to the living room to pick up the newspaper, even on holidays it is delivered. Sitting on the couch, very comfortable and soft, I extended my foot and placed it on the table. As soon as I opened the first page I took a leap.

-Jesus! - I exclaimed in exasperation, the knock on my door almost knocked it over, thankfully I use triple locks. Throwing the newspaper on the floor, I walked furiously to the door.

- I will expel you from the building, rioters. - I screamed furiously.

Unlocking the locks, I opened the door, a large dent in a circular shape, peeled the white paint off the wood. I looked at the floor, looking for the object that caused the damage, I saw no sign. Going out into the hall, I saw that the door to the apartment next door was open. Walking slowly, I headed for the door. Putting my head inside, I peered at part of the entrance to the neighboring apartment. It's just like mine, with dark wooden floors and silver lamps. Taking a few more steps inside, I spotted moving boxes and suitcases. But nothing that would cause that damage, still driven by anger, I kept entering. In the living room I found a sofa, wrapped in plastic, maybe he is responsible for the damage. I decided to take a closer look, went down on the side in search of any trace of paint, but found nothing. Turning around, I repeated the gesture, this time I saw torn plastic and splinters of white paint.

- Vandals. - I spoke to the couch.

However, I didn't have time to get up. A thick, rough bark sounded from the kitchen. My heart raced, I crawled behind the couch and tried to find shelter. It didn't take long for the mass of caramel hair and exposed teeth to emerge. I hurriedly got up, trying to escape from the other side. The dog followed me barking loudly, startled, I ran across the hall, the animal followed. Running in a rush I entered the apartment, but I didn't have time to close the door. The dog invaded my living room, running towards me and jumping on me. I sat down, hitting my ass on the floor and my back on the wooden sideboard. The creature barked, however, wagging its tail. I stood motionless, fearing to frighten him and take a bite. I felt tears on my face, I was always very afraid of dogs, including the tiny ones.

- Dodger, get out! - Ordered the male voice.

The animal complied, lowering its tail and disappearing down the hall. I managed to breathe, I was shaking. Feet appeared in front of me, wearing sports shoes. I lifted my head to observe, in front of me is a tall, strong guy. Wearing black sports pants and gray T-shirt. He held out his hand to me. I refused at first, but it was difficult to get up with that pain throbbing in my back and ass. I ended up accepting it, the man pulled me easily, with those strong arms it's easy.

- Forgive my boy, he likes to make friends. - His voice is beautiful, like the smile he gave me. That accent, if I'm not mistaken, I sound like Boston.

- Your dog almost kill me. - I said irritated and sore. - Animals are not allowed in the condo.

- Actually they are, this is one of the reasons why we moved here.

He looked at me from head to toe, the worst day to choose to stay only in a bathrobe.

- Lie, I'm a lawyer, I'll make a point of reading the rules for you. - I tried to sit up, the pain was worse. He held back a laugh. - In fact, you destroyed my door with that sofa.

- I can fix it, and as a lawyer you should know what animals are allowed. - He used a harsh tone. - Wait, how do you know it was the sofa?

I dragged myself to the dining table, pulling up a chair, and I sat down with an effort.

- This is irrelevant. - I will not confess a crime, I invaded his house. - I just want my door fixed and that monster out of here.

- Girl, don't offend my dog, he's no monster. - He walked up to me. - Now, let me examine your back to eliminate the risk of injury.

I laughed hysterically and full of pain.

- You really think I'm going to let a stranger examine my body, you can only be crazy. - I looked for my cell phone, in my robe pocket, in case I needed to call the police.

- Despite the offenses, I just wanted to help. - His tone was sincere.

- Look, I think you better go, I don't want your help. - I found my phone. - Go back to your house and your mons ... dog.

- As you wish, but if I were you I would take an aspirin, so you will be able to sit without making faces. - He laughed and ran across the hall.

- You fool! - I screamed.

I have the slight feeling that I know him, but from where?

Chapter 02

[artemishide]

So, I couldn't help myself and wrote on my own prompt. This is just a start, any comment is welcome and feel free to use the same prompt for your work (just use tags).

Also please let me know if you'd honestly read more of it <3

Movie: Shame (2011)

Characters: Brandon Sullivan (Michaele Fassbender)

Pairing: Brandon Sullivan/Reader

Tags: Smut, Angst, Psychology, addiction, mention of rape, prostitution

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, nor the movie stuff. Also, English is not my mother tongue so if you see something weird please point it out :)

Prompt:

= DANGEROUS LIASONS =

- Chapter 1. -

02:35 am.

You blinked.

For the hundredth time you find yourself asking if this is your only option. For the hundredth time, you knew it was.

With frozen cold fingers you lifted your hand and knocked on the door. The wait seemed eternal and, for a brief moment, you even thought of running. Then the door opened.

The man looked you with questioning eyes, scanning your figure form head to toe, then he seemed to remember who you were.

“Mr Sullivan, I know it's late, but-”

“I didn't call for you” he interrupted. He gave an hard look and began to close the door, but you stopped it midway.

“Please, Sir... it won't take long I promise. I just” you stumbled to get the words out “My phone's dead and I don't have any other place to go, I just need to charge it a bit and then I...” you nearly chocked.

Then what?

You just run from you home with a travel bag full of clothes and Academy books. You felt utterly lost.

He seemed to consider you for a minute or two, taking in your wet figure, snow flakes melted on your hair and shoulder, drenching your coat. Then shook his head.

“It's none of my damn business. Go away” and shut the door.

You felt panic clawing at your gut. You didn't really consider what you'd have done if he had turn you away, but now it felt as the whole world was collapsing at you feet.

Before you could manage to catch a hold on yourself you were pounding at the door shouting.

“NO, no no, please, you have to help me Mr Sullivan, please! You can't let me out here you have to...” you breath was cut out from wave of nausea and panic and you sobbed holding onto the door frame while the corridor seemed to turn upside down. You barely registered the hands cahtching you, dragging you inside and shoving you against the wall.

“Shut the fuck you idiot, you are going to wake up the entire fucking block!” his raged low voice teared you off your panic attack. His face was few mere inches from your and you clung to his presence to ground yourself. His breath was hot on you cold skin and you shudder at the sudden deja vu of his body against yours.

It was just two day ago, same apartment, same rough hands and clear eyes. You parted your lips feeling lightheaded with the warm from the heat and his body.

“Please...” you nearly forgot what you were begging for, then you met his raw stare and all the situation crashed back at you.

“I just need to charge my phone and warm a bit” you stuttered “Then I'll be gone. I swear” you hated how your voice sounded weak and pleading.

“You have thirty minutes. Then I'll call the police”

You nodded.

He let go of your coat stepping back. He seemed to consider you for a moment, then pointed at the record player.

“There's a spare charger there. Leave your coat and boots at the door I don't want any wet spot on the floor”

You obliged. You stripped of your coat and boots feeling like you already lived that moment, but a decade ago. You sank into the couch leaving you phone turned off while charging and tried to plan your next move. Seeking for help at your last client's apartment was really far-fetched and now that you are there you actually don't know what you'll do after that half an hour.

There's no actual place you can go to and outside it's still snowing. You have enough money for a motel room, but even if you find a place to stay this night than there's the night after and the night after that. You clasp your head through your hands. Why you? Why on all earth did you deserve to be nearly assaulted by your host?

You did this to yourself, said your self-loathing, you started all this by selling your body to pay the bills. It was a matter of time that somebody figured it out and tried to assault you.

You shook your head. It was no time for this shit. You have to focus.

Come on girl, just focus.

The moan you heard right after made all your effort worthless.

At first, you thought it was just imagination. Given your job and how shook up you were.

Then you heard it again and there was no mistake in it. It came from the bedroom, sound muffled by the closed door.

Did I interrupt something? But no, there was no way a woman could stand still in a bedroom with a stranger female showing up at the door. More so, the moans were now rhythmic and a bit exaggerated with no sound of actual bed moving.

A porn.

Your former client was watching a porn.

With you in the living room.

You frowned, your psychologist senses alerted.

This wasn't ordinary. An average man, with a basic sense of prudery, would hardly indulge in something like watching porn with a woman next-door. You recalled your encounter few days before: ease, like it wasn't the first time he hired an hooker; hunger, the way he touched and demanded like he was starving for contact; blown eyes, sudden calm right after, with something hunted at the bottom of his gaze. You studied these symptoms...

Something clicked into your head.

Addiction.

This was unmistakably addiction. And maybe, this was the answer to your current condition.

Question is: will you be able to fully act on it?