#(different server than before)
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one half of grumbo having an amazing time on hermitcraft while the other is burnt out and hasn't logged on in months... welcome back season 9
#speaking#been thinking about this and its kind of making me ache#the empty spaces left behind#a vault; half constructed with nothing to guard#a fishing port; old grand buildings without purpose and a boat that hasnt touched the water#im not saying at all that these are the same situation- grian shared wild life with him and has still been on the server on and off#hes still making videos and such. but mumbo said it himself he ends up very strongly missing grian faster than grian misses him when its#on a scale of weeks or months like this#hes finally fulfilled and truly self actualized (Shoutout to our boy Skizzle Man) but. the other half of his soul is missing!!!!#he wont throw stones from glass houses he knows hes been on the other side of this before but wow does it hit different#anyways thanks for letting me lament
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challenge where i draw agent penguinronpa every day in december (part 3)
agent is @tofudemaru's character
#meepo art#penguinronpa#club penguin#agent penguinronpa#friend ocs#and here we have the last group of drawings!#the last agent drawing will be on it's own post because it's going to be bigger and different than the others#but yeah i hope you've been enjoying me parasocially obsessing over a club penguin oc#and no i'm not going to stop drawing them after this challenge. in case someone wonders#this was just a fun thing to do before the pr server closes down#31 day challenge
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I have become TIMEZONE
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Guy who never moved on from anything in her life voice: My names princezam
#sparrow liveblogs#It is three am I am tired and it’s too late for talk about a season I haven’t seen#I need to vodwatch like crazy during the break before s7#A little obsessed with how Zam is talking about this#More in character than not#As always I’m the most annoying person about unsaid expectations#Cause it really sounds like Zam and pbnj where playing entirely different games#And they never communicated expectations ? Maybe ?#Something interesting is so subjective like Zam wants a second her to oppose her. But that’s not possible#Idk. Theres only one Zam. Idk stage stuff or#Look. All it is is just maybe employment. I just. No one streams as much as her. No one plays ls like her.#And like I feel like it’s not strange people try and fight in most situations on the server known for fighting#Ignore half of this it’s late and I’m exhausted. I’m just. Something I’ve been thinking about for awhile#“What you’re supposed to do” is so subjective I don’t get it. Set expectations ? Idk I don’t agree with Penter and his whole arguments#It’s okay to do stuff even if it fails. But idk. He did cool story stuff this season. But much different from Zam.#She wants a second princezam I think. Idk idk gn !!
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I saw someone on my timeline ask if anyone watched fairy tail anymore and… idk. Ask my nalu post with almost 1K likes and reblogs.
#ik this is mean bc they can’t help that their tumblr feed looks different than mine#but it’s like😭 did u even try to find us before you wrote a post denying our existence??#we got a whole discord server that’s more active than any other server I’ve been in#why? bc we’re active ft enjoyers!!!#nalu specifically but still
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MAPLESTORY MENTIONED!!!!!
Gods I'm a fucking old-ass veteran of that game. I began playing in 2009 and I actually quit in like 2019 iirc. Few years ago I got a private server, and I was playing up until this year and then just fell out of favor. But damn that game is nostalgic af!!! It's awesome!!! <3 I'm genuinely SO glad to see others who played it!!!!
RIP Lionheart Castle to the Kaiser hackers, and the Demon Slayer spammers. XD
MAPLESTORY MENTIONED <3 i played from 2008 until .... gosh, i don't even remember when i stopped, it sort of fizzled out for me as the game got less fun and more pay to win. the last couple of times i launched it even the biggest hubs were completely empty, no heneseys hoes to be seen even in channel 1 u _ u absolute ghost town. and all my characters are on windia, which used to be one of the most popular servers! Not Anymore I Guess
it's the kind of game that i feel like... even if you're in a popular server or something, even if you're in a private server, it just takes too much dedication to play anymore. it's not really for casual people anymore, the whole community and culture is totally different now and it makes me sad. i feel like 2008 ~ 2014 was Peak and then it started to fall apart after that, too much grinding and not enough fun anymore.
LF > LPQ 😭
#liz blogs#maplestory#ask#it used to be like. my biggest Tism. i was OBSESSSSSSEDDDD WITH IT in middle school it was embarrassing#i remember when the cygnus knights came out. and now there's like 50 fucking classes#i was an aran main o7 i still have some of those skill combos memorized. the og ones anyway from before they changed them 4 times#i could button mash with the best of them#i also really loved playing phantom and luminous though. i remember being able to solo Two levels on nett's PQ on lumi#because he was so overpowered#the game has changed to the point where the last couple times i logged in it was just. not fun anymore. everything i loved is gone#i hear they launched more of a classic server thats more like 'old maplestory' but. none of my characters are there lmao#and the game is still fundamentally different. and i just dont have time for these kinds of games anymore that you gotta play regularly#but man. STAPLE of my childhood. i dont think there's any game i've played more than maplestory legitimately#at least i got my main to lv 200. that was my big goal. i knew people who could do that in 3 days but it used to be a challenge#certainly took me. like. 5 years djhbksdbfhj
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i need to work on my dbl au soon cause as much as i like to personify the server and its events at the end of the day that shits not on purpose lmao and as much as i love that its not on purpose i wanna explore a plot where it actually is on purpose
#the entity my beloved#metawise its actually funny how its status reflects very closely to whats happening with the server#its meant to be a nonsentient entity that feeds off emotion and does not feel anything much deeper than that#and yet its actions (or rather the developers actions) to maximize as much emotion as possible leads it to gettin personified by its fandom#much in the same way that the server also gets personified by its fandom#and in that its status as a cc server means its as close to feeding off emotion as a mc server can be#although the difference between them is that while the entity isnt a truly nonsapient being by virtue of having game devs dictating it#the server actually is an actual nonsentient being that just so happens to have many coincidences attributed to it#i wonder if ls had the exact same fandom as the dsmp would the server become a god#much like how prime became a god (even before all the lore that made it that way) lol#mine.txt#my posts
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people are finding out about the fediverse again and i just KNOW they are not going to understand it lmaooooo. some youtuber needs to get out ahead of this shit before everyone's understanding of federated protocols gets shaped by whatever the hell threads and bluesky think they're cooking
#kakitalk#for those who dont yet understand#bluesky/misskey/mastodon/threads/etc and whatnot#are not twitter. they're not reddit or facebook#its a COMPLETELY different system built on federated network protocols#the absolute layman explanation is to say its discord and every instance is like a discord server#but i swear to you its a bit more complicated than that and you should actually learn how it works before you start making assumptions
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waiiiitt I just realized the reason why I love QSMP so much as a concept is because it's kind of like my childhood growing up overseas oh my goooodddddd what if i cried
#its in the bonding over multicultural experiences#in school everyone would be from somewhere different from all over the world#and we were only at this place for a few years so we just vibed together and our differences didnt matter#but then sometimes we'd just end up talking about where we lived before#and sharing these crazy things we'd had as american kids in other countries#and we'd also for one reason or another have local kids sometimes talk about their own experiences as locals coming to the american school#and it was cool too!!#but coming back to live in the usa has been pretty isolating as someone who grew up outside here and no one else has left their state area#but the qsmp community has been bringing that culture exchange back into my life!!#and it's SOOO amazing to see people learning about outside their world and be part of that culture exchange again#and no its not the same and im not saying its supposed to be!#i love it so much i love learning about the outside world and how humanity is so varied and so so special#thank you qsmp this silly minecraft server has brought back a part of my life i thought i left behind forever when my family moved back#now im actually practicing my german again and picking up on more basic spanish than i ever thought id get#and im getting reinspired to want to aim to go back overseas rather than stay in america for job oppertunities#i thought i was resolved to suffer here forever but theres still a world out there thats not perfect but if my place isnt here its okay!
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(since my first post introducing my objectum server wasnt all that professional imma try to set it right LMAO) If you are objectum, posic, questioning or even just an ally to objectums, maybe youll be interested in my discord server! It's 18+ (or whatever age is adult in your part of the world) and mostly centered around chatting with other cool peeps (tho ig most servers are? idk) while you are able to be totally yourself! as long as you dont harm others kinda deal, ya dig? (just off the bat before i post any links or clarify further, we dont allow zoo/pedo/or necro, ship discourse of any kind, or any kind of bigotry, if you decide to make fun of a furry or 'debate on how valid objectum is' or what have you, youll get the boot!!) anyways, heres the link, i hope this post was a bit more informative! i hope to see you there :D
#objectum#os/or#osor#posic#i hope this post was much better than my last one i was kind of winging it cus this is technically my first public server (ive owned a semi#private one before and ive been an admin for another so im not inexperienced#its just different
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genuine and srs post do any of my moots play and would be open to talking abt either g/enshin or s/tar rail because I'm going actually insane lmao
#Cap.txt#Having a hyperfixation and having no one to talk with about it is a new circle of hell#I have one friend who plays but is super anti-spoiler and I'm further than them so I can't say shit to them#And that's literally it lmao#It's very alienating to very suddenly lose your circles and community bc you all picked different things to be your thing after moving on#From the thing that you all collectively liked#This is me being very open and vulnerable and saying I would like just even 1 hyv friend who doesn't live in my house#And maybe some of my moots or friends are in the same boat so maybe? Idk#I may delete this later lmao#Or hell even someone who would like to get into a new game like one of these and doesn't know where to start#And before u ask I am on Asia server#I'm also v resigned to the fact that virtually none of my followers are active anymore let alone my moots so the liklihood of anything more#Than pity likes is low lmao but!! We try bc if we never try we never succeed
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Already missing 2v8 lobbies😔its fun seeing the same people every couple of game and having them recognize you. I dont get that enough in the regular game
#had a squad of 3-4 get excited when i join their lobby earlier#they were all like !!! QUACK!!!#and i was all like !!!! HII!!#had played with them a few times the day before :')#probably wont see them again any time soon bc i swear the 2v8 servers are different than regular ones#with all of that being said if you see a ''Quack'' in your game and youre on the east coast servers there is very good chance its me <33#mine.mebs#dbd
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did a dnd oneshot today kinda on a whim (signed up yesterday) and it was fun dgmw but also kinda made it clearer to me the kinda dnd im just not that into. we did very very little roleplay and most places we visited were quite summarily described and only there to get what we needed done and leave, and then after wrapping up our characters meeting, getting a quest, getting ready and going to the quest area in like 2 hours the rest was only combat. i got into it and all but ultimately not rly what i wanna do in dnd yknow... i love roleplaying and talking to npcs and exploring some worldbuilding and especially getting to do creative stuff and strategies, and i reckon this doesnt rly mesh well w the type of dnd that appeals more to people who most enjoy long and challenging fights against evil. i still had fun and enjoyed myself and the people were cool but also this is not something id wanna do a whole campaign of and its nice to get more experience to figure that out basically
#97#which is totally fair lol like.#im also aware that if youre not very into combat you prob should go for other systems than dnd#its mostly that well. the server i joined to find local games is only for dnd#so i dont rly have opportunities to learn other systems that prioritize stuff like rp and social strategy etc#also found out incidentally: wow i dont rly like playing monks#(ive only played bards and my wizard)#since im so not combat-focused i rly like characters who can use other skills to resolve challenges#like a bard w charisma or a magic user w magic (mostly illusions and enchantments rather than combat spells)#so yeah it was interesting to try out a different class but not that interesting to me unless like#i was in a game that was explicitly not combat focused so the class could be more rp-relevant#(i made this guy a monk bc i wanted a very religious character w very strict religious practices)#(specifically bc thatd be fun for rp but then we did only the bare minimum rp so.. yeah)#i also find that in combat i tend to think more 'what would my pc do in this fight'#rather than 'whats the objectively best tactical move to make'#and if the point is for the combat to be very challenging you dont rly get any leeway#to make suboptimal decisions on the basis that your character would make them#like. everyone was kinda like 'yea its not smart to go and try to free the shackled woman immediately#bc its likely that shes the medusa in disguise' (she was)#and im like. yeah but. my guy is an extremely religious monk who has sworn vows to protect the weak.#if he sees a helpless shackled woman his priority is helping her even if i as a player know shes probably a trap.#tbf i did not get to free her LOL so i didnt fuck over the party by trying to do that#and i did my fair share of damage dealing#but also going into a fight where the boss is a cursed human i wouldve liked#an opportunity to talk to her and try to reason w her and even if it failed getting an idea of why were fighting#thats just my player mentality ig haha im very 'well id like to know their motivations before killing them'
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Bacon Kab conversation yesterday and Jaron Kab conversation today is very interesting, to learn about their mentalities vs Kabs as a new player,,,,
#sparrow liveblogs#Hmmmm Imagine me like taking notes#Mainly in the sense of the three of them being quickdrops and being such different players#Jaron said “You die wether you have a flower in your offhand or not” <-- paraphrased and it just stuck with me#I dont know how much of kab is just her being a new player I hope she learns stuff before the next season#Kabs different though than them in a subtle slightly meta way#She has to play on this server like everyother day#Ugh and because of that its easier to compare her to Zam which is uhhhh interesting#I need to write a big piece on her and the meta of why they play the way they do
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i have a lot of thoughts about peoples views on engagement and art
but the general tldr is that, while yes, its not Wrong to want engagement or attention (its why we're posting online after all), people dont really approach it in the healthiest way especially when they don't receive any or the reception they got is not what they hoped for. i mean, look at any art fight confession blog at this time of year, engagement ends up being the biggest worry/complaint and it always saddens me that people view the art space like this
when people say 'you should draw for yourself rather than others' theyre not saying that wanting engagement for it is bad. nobody is saying that
but its more about not staking the value of your work entirely or even mostly on the reception of others. your art is valuable because you made it. stake the value of your work on your own pride first and foremost, and let others be secondary
ultimately, you can't force people to say something, you cant force people to reblog instead of like, etc. and you have to be ok with that. for your own sake, really, you'll tear yourself apart otherwise
#getting less engagement isnt a negative on your art either#sometimes people just dont have much to say even if they like it#doubly so if you're in a space with autistic ppl i can barely put my thoughts together as is#but id rather get no engagement at all than engagement that was forced#ive surfed through many art servers and several of them have this 'comment before posting' rule#one of them i went to the post above me was just a sketch of people i didnt know and i didnt feel any particular way about#what do you want me to say about that?#hope you finish it soon?#someone in another different kind of server does it as a habit#and it feels gross. you dont have to force yourself to say anything just to post#bc you can feel that its not what they really feel#quality over quantity or so it goes
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i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.
we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."
who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.
this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.
even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.
it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!
and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.
my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.
but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.
but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.
#spilled ink#warm up#please do not be weird on this#i hate when i express a real fear/etc that is normal to have -- like being scared of violence in trump's america#and ppl immediately are like ''isn't it nice ur afraid this year but u haven't been previously??? imagine being afraid every year''#not the point of this post and also not true just not included in the body of the work. u do not know me personally.#''ur lucky u have a pride'' yes i know this & am aware of it. can still be afraid of violence.#''well i think [misunderstanding of the post]''#this is about feeling the genuine shift politically that has occurred in trumps america wherein extremist ideas are more accepted.#'' WELLLLLLL'' . it's a tumblr post. go to bed.#<- poet who has made the mistake of being honest about her feelings 1 too many times#i just write about stuff i think other people can relate to. and i think i've felt this very loudly#and if u dont relate okay! it wasn't written for u then. it was written to comfort someone else.#anyway. i love u all happy pride. genuinely.#come say hi if u see me#feel free to dm me if ur also at pride i'll tell u what im wearing we can hunt each other down for sport#((just realizing right now in the tags that the shooting probably traumatized me lol))
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