#(how good it feels to deviate and indulge in masculinity. indulge in what she wants). even as a knight suffering misogyny

[scorchedhearth]

a lot of things could be fixed by making casca a butch. the rest of the issues could be fixed by making her a protagonist before a girl

[the-caffeinated-utopian]

of sombre sunsets

everyone is capable of empathy. 

let me rephrase that - everyone who is not suffering from clinical or sub-clinical conditions affecting their mind are capable of empathy. many people on the extremes of antisocial personality spectrum may be hindered by their condition from feeling a connection with their fellow humans.in this article, i shall talk about those of us whose ability to feel and connect are not modified by any deviation from the mainstream.

thus my realisation - everyone is capable of empathy, except a few. 

this thought came to me when i was remembering certain memories of my childhood. on twitter, an artist (who also happens to be a single mother presently) posted a picture of her toddler offering a flower on the grave of their beloved pet. the tweet read, "his first death'. 

i am in a profession where i see death, loss and suffering regularly, so my feelings about them are numbed. however, i got curious and tried to remember the times before these questionable changes happened to my psyche. do i remember my first brush with death? do i remember my feelings then? 

death, in general, is never discussed in my household. my parents are an interesting mix in this regard - my father is morbidly anxious about mortality, not only his own but in general; my mother tends to romanticise the concept of death and dying and yet, when it comes to the possibility of her losing a loved one, she doesn't react well. since i grew up mostly with my mother, i would often hear lines such as "death is nothing but a doorway to a new life' and horrified shrieks if i ventured into the water even with a life vest tightly fastened around my trunk.

  my first brush with death was at the age of three. i was in nursery school. at the time, my father was posted at his office in a city four hundred and forty four kilometres away from the city i was born and spent the first couple of years of my life in. my mother had moved away from her family to be with him and had taken me along with her. the city was important to me. i started school for the first time in my life at a place where my parents and i were living like a three-man crew on a raft, trying to navigate the currents of life. admittedly, i had very little role to play in the "navigation'. i was only a member who saw much but understood very little.

i still remember the day. daylight was dissolving into the evening. the sun had molten over the western horizon and all i remember is the vast pinkness that stretched all around my tiny self. it was nothing out of the ordinary. my mother loved watching sunsets and it was our daily ritual to watch the sun go down. my mother would hum a tune or be silent. the moment would have its impact on me as well, for i would also stop my chatter for a short while until all the beautiful colours disappeared from the sky. it seemed like a long time then but i know now, sunsets are transient. 

my father is not a part of these memories because he never returned home from work until late evening. i always knew that he was at work but while watching the nature create magic in front of my eyes, i never asked if he had the luxury to take a break for a few minutes and stare at the sky through the window at his office. my limited childish thoughts failed to grasp the true enormity of a magnificent natural phenomenon. now that i am older i know, even if my father did have the opportunity, he would have never been interested.

i remember the day i had my first brush with death. my mother and i were sitting on the terrace. the sun was a red orb in front of us. the air was still warm. the gentle breeze of the evening had not started blowing yet but we knew from our experience that it was just a matter of time. little did we know that we would miss the rest of our ritual that day. 

there was a sudden knock on the door, startling my mother out of her trance. she opened the gate to find my father standing there with an ashen face. my mother asked him what was wrong. he did not reply immediately. he silently entered the house, sat down on a chair and kept staring at her. as an adult now, i can only imagine the apprehension my mother must have felt in those moments. i still remember it as if it is a video recorded inside my head that i replay every now and then.

"tell me,' my mother insisted. 

"you will cry,' my father replied. 

i have never asked what my mother was thinking at the moment. it is rude to keep reminding people of the times when they received the worst news of their lives.

"tell me,' she reiterated.

"your father has passed away,' my father replied in a no nonsense tone. that's my father. he has never been the one who would give someone the time to gather strength or courage to face the impending devastation. he believes in ripping off the band-aid in one go.

i remember my mother silently sinking to the floor. i did not really understand what was being said. being the talkative child that i was, i kept asking both of them about what had happened. no one answered. 

for a long time i did not really understand what had happened. even with my limited emotional capabilities as a three year old, i was very fond of my grandfather. he had always loved me but more importantly, he respected me as an individual, irrespective of the size or age of the said individual. he often indulged me. he never made me feel small or helpless, a feeling that i was familiar with when it came to interacting with my parents and the rest of my family members.

i did not mourn my grandfather then because i did not understand that death is a permanent goodbye. i mourn him a little everyday now. i am certain that he had his fair share of flaws. no one is a saint. however, in the brief three years of my existence, no one had an impact on me as deep as my grandfather. i have faint memories of him, strengthened by the accounts of my grandmother who often witnessed us bonding. i shall always be grateful for the sweet memories that i have.

i started this article with the mention of "empathy'. if you have read so far, you might ask what i am getting at as i seem to have taken quite a lengthy emotional detour. pardon me for that. i wanted to share some of my memories with you.

even though my father broke the news to my mother quite abruptly, i had witnessed empathy in that moment in strange ways. "you will cry,' he had said quietly.this is the same man who has a violent temper, who gets verbally and physically abusive when he is angry or drunk. this is the man whose ego is fragile and the people around him (namely, my mother and i) have to often walk on eggshells not to set him off. he is a man in pain, he always has been. in a twisted pathological cycle, he inflicts the pain he feels on those surrounding him. he is a man belonging to the toxic environment that asks him not to seek help. accepting any help given to him threatens his warped sense of masculinity because the society has taught him so. 

throughout my childhood i have viewed my father as a thoughtless person capable of destroying all good things with his anger. but whenever i look back on this particular memory, my father's quiet voice resonates in my ears, "you will cry.' it gives me hope. while we should certainly take care not to be harmed by people who are abusive or emotionally disturbed, we should not forget that perhaps even inside the depths of the harshest of people might lie a spring well of understanding. 

is it worth staying in an abusive relationship in the hope that once in a blue moon, we might get a glimpse of that ever elusive empathy? 

no. 

my intention is not to encourage dysfunctional relationships but to restore some faith and hope in the nature of humanity.

my mother missed her father's funeral but we reached in time for his last rites. i remember her seeing his shoes on the rack when entering her parents' house and breaking down in tears. 

i am still unsure about how i processed my first brush with death of a loved one or how i eventually grasped the concept of death. all i know is that even in my thirties, sometimes during a day's sombre end, i still miss the warmth of my grandfather's hugs.

my mother has never watched a sunset with me ever again.

[lilopelckai]

|| Get to know LILO who’s TWENTY-ONE years old and a JUNIOR in college majoring in MECHANICS. She is from HAWAII and is often times mistaken for LULU ANTARIKSA while others say she reminds them of LILO from LILO AND STITCH. || 

hello all, it i, pepper coming at ya once again on that new muse juice (... that sounds so gross omg i’m sorry dkjsdkj). today i am HYPE to introduce you all with my bby lilo!! honestly lilo and stitch is one of my fave movies of all time so sdkjsdk NO PRESSURE YK but anyways down bellow will be a bit about ya girl!

BIO (ish, thing tjkfj)

Lilo is weird. She’s a weirdo. She doesn’t fit in, and she doesn’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen her without that stupid mumu? That’s WEIRD

dfkdjsdk sorry i had to, i put joke in my app and i had to make it again aNYWAYS FOR REAL NOW

tldr ; she’s lilo, just kinda sadder sdkjds saw her parents die, went to therapy, doesn’t really ever feel like she belongs, is afraid of loving anyone because she’s afraid of losing them, the Works Folks. also teaches hula now! kinda wants to be a photography major! has an instagram following! i think that’s it oof 

For the most part I don’t plan to deviate from Lilo’s cannon storyline too much seeing as you know, she’s a human and not a humanoid turtle that knows karate so I don’t feel like I need to change TOO much BUT i do want to flesh her out a bit.

First, I headcannon that Lilo was actually in the car during her parents car accident. She was in the backseat and came out of the whole thing relatively uninjured physically, but mentally, and emotionally, well, that was a different story. This is the biggest explanation for the darkness deep in Lilo’s psyche, the reason she had to sit through so much therapy with so many psychologists over the years., You see, Lilo was odd prior to the accident but that eccentricity only seemed to be amplified there after. That combined with the fact that all of her friends abruptly abandoned her after her parents death (literally cannon, can you believe it, screw mertle sdkjdsj) Lilo was kind of left in no mans land emotionally. Therapy never really helped her much unfortunately, and for long time Lilo simply tried to do anything she could to cope. Whether that was pretending she and Mertle were still friends, or praying to god for some sort of angel, or getting unfairly angry with her sister. Lilo spent a long time after her parents death just barely trying to keep afloat, until after a while she stopped having to try. She’s gotten so good at pretending she’s okay that she’s almost even convinced herself.

Like I said Lilo has also always been the type that people struggled to understand. She was a harmless girl, but she said odd things without hesitation, and she never quite got along with her peers, or even other adults because of it. Honestly outside of her family Lilo had few friends because no one could really understand her, and despite the pain of that, Lilo swallowed it down and continued on. Pretty soon, Lilo started to get into the habit of keeping people at arms length, of pushing people away before they could reject her. It was easier being the weird girl, being the one people pointed at and whispered about than being the girl who desperately just wanted a friend. So Lilo slowly buried that girl down deep over time. She tries not to let her out, she’s a real buzz kill.

That was until Stitch of course. She let Stitch in. It wasn’t honestly at the time, the part of Lilo that was so desperate for friendship was still open and bleeding then. She accepted Stitch into her life with open arms and little questions, and to this day he’s still her best friend and her brother. He’s one of the few people who have accepted her fully for who she is, weird shit and all, and Lilo couldn’t be more grateful for him.

I have a headcannon that the Pelekai’s kind of became maybe a bit of a group home? Just because of all the experiments who came in and out of their place. In my mind the experiments were children who Lilo, Nani, her uncle Jumba and Aunt Pleakley would do their best to find amazing homes for. This was Lilo’s idea, after meeting Stitch.

Honestly Lilo uses her weirdness as a bit of a shield. If she’s weird enough then it’s like people know who she is immediately, and the people who wouldn’t want to be around her because of it will leave. She wasn’t rejected, and it didn’t hurt because SHE was the one in control if that makes sense? Being as odd as possible is just a way to keep her heart safe sometimes, and when people stick around despite how odd she is Lilo doesn’t really know what to do honestly.

Despite this Lilo is still very friendly. She feels no qualms about talking to people or speaking her mind, honestly, it’s never been something she’s had an issue with. She’s just chosen not to care whether those people actually like her or not, or at least has numbed herself to caring about that if that makes sense.

A rebellious streak a mile wide tbh. Lilo never wants to hurt anybody of course and she never will unless pushed to the breaking point (ex. That one time she lashed out at Mertle) , but she never has been and never will be obedient. She’s known to get into mischief occasionally, and she doesn’t love being told what to do,

HEADCANNONS ;

Still loves photography and actually sometimes considers changing her major. She chose mechanics because the idea of helping Stitch get up into space was something that she was always excited about -- honestly the concept of them being together even in their adult lives was just too reassuring to her-- and she rationalized it all by telling herself that she wanted to take photos for herself and for money. But photography is her passion honestly and she genuinely has a bit of a talent for it. She’s done a few art galleries and won a couple of minor awards, and even in her spare time she tends to walk around Corona with a camera looking for things take pictures of. Her photos aren’t ever exactly… everyone’s cup of tea, but they’re thought provoking at the very least.

In my mind Lilo takes a lot of photos with body diverse models, honestly for the most part she will only take photos of body diverse models.

At this point I think she has photography as her minor.

A bisexual babe because none of my muses are ever straight.

Also a demigirl. Lilo was kind of inspired by her Aunt Pleakley to truly consider her gender (I headcannon that Pleakley is gender fluid or a trans woman but that’s just me) and it was through that careful consideration that Lilo realized she didn’t fully identify as a girl.

Very accepting. Very liberal. Has gotten arrested at a protest once. Very much will stand up for her beliefs and the rights of others dkdsdkjd is Not here for prejudice or toxic masculinity will fight you on sight !!!

Still loves dancing. One of her proudest accomplishments is winning the hula competition that her mother won back home in Kauai. She doesn’t dance professionally in any other styles, but she does love to dance and she will indulge in that from time to time. I think she might teach the occasional hula lesson at the local gym but it’s probably a specialty thing like once every two weeks or something. She does have some regularly who come though and that always makes her happy.

Still loves the ocean and surfing as well, and honestly will go to the ocean no matter the weather and put her wetsuit on to have a good time. You can find Lilo on the beach at anytime, especially when she’s homesick, just smelling the salt of the ocean and riding the waves.

Also still tries to feed Pudge the fish peanut butter sandwiches, because she maintains that he does control the weather (also the fact that there’s a theory that Lilo used to feed pudge the fish because it was raining the day of her parents car crash and she him to make the weather nice so that never happens to anyone again has me FUCKED UP it will always have me FUCKED UP and that is all).

lilo is also a big philiophobe tbh, like i said she has a lot of issues getting attached to people because she feels like they might just leave so love really scares her? and she tends to freak out at just the thought of it so sdksdk love this for her she gets crushes on people occasionally but the moment things start to get serious this bitch will DIP

loves to have fun though! she doesn’t tend to get asked out on a lot of dates tbh but your girl tens to have a few drunken hook ups here and there and she finds those fun. she also regularly likes to go on tinder and fuck with people. not even catfishing them or anything she just likes to message them weird shit and have a good time dkjdf

has a big ass heart tbh. she would give someone the shirt off her back without any hesitation. she’s just a really kind person despite being hurt so much before, and she honestly never intends to hurt anyone even if she does so accidentally or in anger yk? Like if you fucked with her, then she might lash out for a hot minute but after she’s cooled down it’ll be like damn,,, didn’t mean to do that. Honestly she just has a bit of a temper lowkey but she actually feels guilty after unlike some people *cough* local devil kronk turtle man *cough*

Can’t hold a grudge for the life of her. Forgives way too easily rip 

Has a photography instagram that’s actually pretty damn popular! She’s got a good amount of followers on there and while Lilo’s proud she doesn’t really know what to do with all the positive attention on her weird as shit photos?

WANTED CONNECTIONS ;

i have a wanted connection tag here! check it out and if anything in there catches your eye just lemme know!

GIRL SQUAD ; please. please. i’m out here,,, beggin fdkdfkfd i really want lilo to have some female friends okay just a cute little squad of buds, i’m picturing the skam girl squad, i’m picturing those girls from pretty little liars that i can’t remember the name of, i’m picturing idk the girls from that one movie with tiffany haddish jsut sds pLEASE Y’ALL vanellope & tink

EX-SOMETHING ; this could either be someone who like actually got close enough for lilo to freak the freak out and dip like someone she nearly fell in love with or fell in love with her and kind of triggered her GOTTA GO reflex lmao or someone she casually dated for the fun of it, maybe they even went on a few dates before they realized they were better as friends?

ENEMIES ; someone who doesn’t like lilo and lilo doesn’t like in return. Or maybe it’s one sided we can plot it out!

PARTNER IN CRIME ; this is the person who Lilo will end up in prison with. This is the person who she goes to when she just wants to go crazy aaah go stupid. Love this for her. caitlin !

PHOTOGRAPHY BUD OR MUSE ; exactly what it says on the tin. Someone who will let Lilo sit on their shoulders so she can Get That Shot. Somebody who will be like Tom Holland in this post and Do It For The Gram!!! phoenix

EX-TINDER DATE ; honestly this could align with the second ex something or even the first or be something different completely! but like i said lilo tends to go on tinder dates to mess around with people so she would just be as weird as possible during the date for shits and giggles tbh and it was probably a really fun time unless your muse was really serious about it! We can discuss what happened on the actual date and have a wild time

SOMEONE SHE TUTORS ; surprisingly engineering and other sciences comes really easy to Lilo so this goes out to science majors I suppose! 

A CRUSH ; self explanatory I think but if anyone is willing to let Lilo have a a bit of a crush on their muse hmu. buttercup!

SIBLING LIKE CONNECTION ; !!! love this omg if anyone wants to give Lilo a pseudo sibling i would love this.

FWB/CASUAL HOOKUP ; self explanatory i think

i think that’s all i can think of for now but !!! plot with me please! that is all thank you sdksdjk

[thirstinmore-blog]

Best Albums of 2018

BEST ALBUMS 2018

20. Noname: Room 25

19. Jeremih & Ty Dolla $ign: Mih-Ty

18. Tierra Whack: Whack World

17. Parks Burton: Pare

16. Oneohtrix Point Never: Age Of

15. Angelique Kidjo: Remain in Light

14. Shannon Shaw: Shannon in Nashville

13. Curren$y & Freddie Gibbs: Fetti

12. Ariana Grande: Sweetener

11. Vince Staples: FM!

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock

9. Mariah Carey: Caution

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel

7. The Carters: Everything is Love

6. Snail Mail: Lush

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion

4. Teyana Taylor: K.T.S.E.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose

(Spotify playlist)

(Capsule reviews of Top 10 below) 

10. DJ Koze: Knock Knock.  The music writing trope of “a sounds like b + c” is as lazy as it is played, but sometimes you hear a record and those type of comparisons spring to mind, like when I first heard Saint Pepsi’s Hit Vibes and instantly thought of J Dilla making a disco record.  That was also my response to Knock Knock, which sounds like the Avalanches making a more patient update of Since I Left You for 2018 ears.  The record is long and lush, and draws from roughly nine billion different aesthetics, but its particular mélange still manages to sound fresh.  As with SILY, the album is best experienced as a complete piece of music (though several tracks, such as “Lord Knows” and “Scratch That” would sound great in a mix or DJ set).  Knock Knock takes the listener through ambling pathways that wrap around and revisit each other, like an evening stroll through the spacious Joshua Tree National Park depicted on its cover.  It’s nearly a two-hour journey, but it’s well worth the price of admission.

9. Mariah Carey: Caution.  Mariah got a dirty mouth and I’m here for it.  As mother, a twice-divorcée, a woman nearing 50, her work and her image are all her own; if she wants to include the word “fuck” in a bunch of songs on her new album (“GTFO,” “With You,” “The Distance”), then who the fuck are we to tell her no?   It’s a refreshing twist from someone whose public persona is often so curated, but I’m burying the lede.  The real story here is that Caution is a batch of excellent R&B songs from one of the genre’s all-time greats.  It’s not overwrought – by contrast, the album’s sultry blue cover art is indicative of the moods within.  The Ty Dolla $ign-featuring “The Distance” is laid extremely deep in the cut, assisted by some subtle production from Poo Bear, Lido and—holy shit, Skrillex?  Yup, and like Mariah herself, everyone involved uses an even hand and measured patience to let each song breathe.  

A personal highlight for me is “A No No,” which flips the Lil Kim/Lil Cease classic “Crush On You” on its head.  Here, where Biggie intones “he’s a slut, he’s a hoe, he’s a freak/got a different girl every day of the week,” there is no irony intended.  She gauges her suitors’ intent and responds simply: “that’s a no-no.”  In fact, the word “no” accounts for easily half the song’s lyrics, but it’s still a blast on subsequent listens.  But don’t get it twisted – highlights abound herein, from aforementioned singles “GTFO” and “The Distance” to the thoughtful, expansive, Dev Hynes-helmed “Giving Me Life,” which begins as a downtempo club hit and morphs into a surrealist dream.  Mariah Carey is one of the artists who’s been in my life the longest – I’m so happy she’s still killing it.

8. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel.  Courtney Barnett is what I was raised to believe an indie rock star should be: an unassuming, smart slacker with regular clothes and the ability to unleash earthbound poetry and atmosphere-puncturing solos with equal aplomb.  That effortless cool permeates every facet of her work, from her casual half-singing style to her loose but proficient playing, a mighty guitar god in the body of a humble 31-year-old.  (That she recorded a collaborative record with renowned cool guy Kurt Vile should surprise no-one.)  But what’s really striking about Barnett’s work is her wryly observant lyrics; whether she’s describing the banalities of urban life (“City Looks Pretty”) or eviscerating toxic masculinity (“Nameless, Faceless”), her keen eye and incisive wit pervade every line.  Tell Me is the sound of a strong artist getting stronger.

7. The Carters: Everything is Love.  I often say that as I get older, my favorite elements of songwriting are editing and restraint.  That’s why I tend to hate double albums and love EPs.  I just believe that most double albums would be better if distilled down to one really strong record.  EPs, on the other hand, leave the listener wanting more.  Such is the case with Everything is Love, which reads like a Beyonce trap record with a number of guest verses from Jay. Regardless of speculation on who did the lion’s share of the writing on the record, both are in top form.  Bey’s signature vocal virtuosity is on display as ever, but the real delight is in her capable delivery as a rapper.  She glides effortlessly through triplets like “Poppin, I’m poppin, my bitches are poppin, we go to the dealer and cop it all.”  Big Sean could never.  Meanwhile, Jay turns in a few of my favorite bars of the year (and also a very slick Drake diss) on “Boss:”

“You not a boss, you got a boss. N*ggas gettin’ jerked, that shit hurts, I take it personaly.  N*ggas’d rather work for the man than to work for me.  Just so they can pretend they on my level, that shit is irkin’ to me.  Pride always goeth before the fall, almost certainly.  It’s disturbing what I gross.  Survey says: you not even close.  Everybody’s bosses till the time to pay for the office, till them invoices separate the men from the boys. Over here we measure success by how many people successful next to you.  Here, we say you broke if everybody is broke except for you. BAWSE.”

I don’t know if they intend to release more records as The Carters, but Everything is Love is a fun, successful experiment.

6. Snail Mail: Lush.  There’s no reason for a debut LP to be this good.  The record, from solo project-turnt-band of 19-year-old Lindsay Jordan is focused, clever, and sophisticated.  Every component of these songs appears exactly as it should.  Jordan’s songwriting is clean and incisive (“I hope whoever it is holds their breath around you/’cause I know I did,” she sings on album standout “Heat Wave”).  The arrangements are smartly simple; seldom do they deviate from the four-person rock lineup, so the embellishments that are included (the French horn on “Deep Sea,” the layered keys on “Speaking Terms”) really leap out.  The playing throughout is lovely, with Jordan’s beautiful guitar technique front and center (the finger-picking on “Let’s Find an Out” is a particular delight). Everything in its right place – only where Radiohead’s inward gaze can be mopey and self-indulgent, the core strength of Lush is its efficiency.  There’s no filler here – just the exact amount of support that each piece requires.  The drumming feels especially strong in this regard – there’s an economic directness in Ray Brown’s playing that prioritizes the backbeat over everything, including his ego. The fills that he does include are modest and workmanlike.

It’s right that the record would be released by Matador, because these songs are drenched in the influences of the 90s slacker rock of Yo La Tengo, Sonic Youth, Sleater-Kinney and Sebadoh.  And as with each of those bands, Snail Mail’s songs are buoyed by excellent lyrics.  Jordan doesn’t just sound wise beyond her years, she actually seems to have lived more in her 19 years than many folks twice her age.  There’s a subtext of sobriety in some of the songs (“It just feels like the same party every weekend, doesn’t it?” on “Pristine,” or “I’m so tired of moving on/spending every weekend so far gone” on “Heat Wave”).  Perhaps the self-reflection that’s required in recovery has helped to distill her worldview.  

And look, I don’t mean to be patronizing here – this album would be a major achievement from any person of any age.  But to hear an artistic vision this crystal clear and laser-focused from a 19-year-old is something truly special.  I can’t wait to hear what she does next.

5. Shannon & the Clams: Onion.  Upon first listen, Onion struck me as the best record the Clams have released to date.  Now, admittedly, I’m a sucker for keyboards, and the inclusion of organist Will Sprott is pure Patrick-bait.  But beyond my own tastes, the organ both fills out and anchors the Clams’ garage doo-wop sound.  There’s a welcome succinctness to Onion: the songwriting is tight, the guitar playing is melodic and utilitarian, and the vocal performances from both Cody and Shannon are more technically refined than in any of their previous outings.  One wonders if Shannon’s work on her own solo album (the very good, Dan Auerbach-produced Shannon in Nashville, which also came out this year) pushed her to improve her technique.  And don’t get it fucked up – this is still a Clams record.  It’s still shaggy and loud and rambunctious – but they’ve worked hard to reign in their wildest tendencies.  Some might say that it’s layered, just like-- *an oversized cane hooks around my throat and drags me offstage* ….Well…..let’s just say it’s good.

4. Teyana Taylor: KTSE.  Of all the seven-song mini-albums Kanye produced in Wyoming this year, KTSE is both the best and the least talked-about.  She arrives seemingly out of the blue, a fully-formed artist who knows her strengths exactly.  She has bars when she feels like spitting them, a beautiful husky alto when she feels like crooning, and a profound connection to multiple styles of club music that’s borne of her history as a dancer.  It’s become a bit trendy to nod to vogue & ballroom culture in the last few years, but while Drake’s Big Freedia feature on “Nice for What” feels a little forced, Taylor can walk it like she talks it.  A dancer by trade, her comfort in the ballroom is palpable. 

Ye keeps it simple, remaining comfortably in his wheelhouse and flipping excellent soul samples such as Billy Stewart’s “I Do Love You” (which he repurposes into a nostalgic 4/4 slapper on “Hold On”) and The Stylistics’ “Because I Love You, Girl” (which he expands into a melancholy mediation on the horn section of the original).  It’s a welcome return to form.

3. Kacey Musgraves: Golden Hour.  In her SNL performance earlier this year, Kacey Musgraves appeared as a flat-ironed, longhair disco queen.  As she slayed Golden Hour’s catchy lead single “High Horse,” I was reminded of Dolly Parton.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with Dolly’s mid-70s and early-80s catalogue this past year, having purchased vinyl copies of All I Can Do, New Harvest…First Gathering, and Dolly, Dolly, Dolly.  Parton is one of those artists whose discographies are so gigantic as to seem practically impenetrable, so I’ve been trying to hear as much as I can.  Dolly, Dolly, Dolly is an especially interesting entry: released in 1980, it was her 23rd album, and it represents a pretty clear swing for crossover success.  A handful of the tracks are straight-up disco, and these are what Musgraves called to mind.  I was thrilled – Dolly’s disco experiments were widely panned, but I think there’s a lot of good there, maybe Golden Hour would be an attempt to vindicate Parton’s vision?

Unfortunately or not, I was incorrect.  In total, Golden Hour bears more resemblance to Dolly’s friend & frequent collaborator Emmylou Harris (Kacey’s hair should’ve tipped me off, SMH).  It’s a beautiful, understated, and thoughtful set of songs that could fit as well on a folk radio station as a country one.  Like Harris, Musgraves has an innate sense of how to let a great song be great, hanging back in both arrangement and vocal performance.  She’s emotive when she needs to be (“Rainbow”), and contemplative as needed (“Golden Hour”), always letting her writing breathe.  Also, she has the confidence to bury the lead single so deep on Side B that you almost forget it’s there (and are thrilled when it is).  As a person who prefers the full album experience to that of a shuffled playlist, this is one of my very favorite tricks.

Quite simply: great songs + great arrangements = a surprising list-topper for me.

2. Blood Orange: Negro Swan.  For years, the roles of sexuality and gender in black identity have been foci of Dev Hynes’ work as Blood Orange.  He spent time with drag queens and sex workers while writing his debut album Coastal Grooves, and has often cited transgender icon Octavia St. Laurent as one of his primary influences.  But while these interests have colored his previous albums, on Negro Swan they’re the bedrock.  In a press release preceding the album, Hynes described the album as “an exploration into my own and many types of black depression, an honest look at the corners of black existence, and the ongoing anxieties of queer/people of color.  A reach back into childhood and modern traumas, and the things we do to get through it all.  The underlying thread through each piece on the album is the idea of hope, and the lights we can try to turn on within ourselves with a hopefully positive outcome of helping others out of their darkness.”

These ideas are fundamental to the songwriting, and they’re reinforced by snippets of conversations with Janet Mock and Kai the Black Angel (who adorns the cover in a durag and angel wings) peppered throughout the album’s 49 minutes.  On “Family,” Mock defines community as “the spaces where you don’t have to shrink yourself, where you don’t have to pretend or to perform, you can fully show up and be vulnerable in silence, completely empty, and that’s completely enough.”  That search for community, the desire to be seen and loved and supported as your whole self informs each of these beautiful songs.  Already a competent producer, Hynes continues to grow, selecting beautiful flourishes like the jangly, perfectly out-of-tune guitar on “Charcoal Baby” or the soft, echoing snare drum on “Dagenham Dream” to characterize the thematic content of each piece.  Negro Swan is a powerful and complete work of art.  It sounds like he’s finally found some answers to the questions he’s been asking. 

1. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose.  On Lamp Lit Prose, David Longstreth appears to be having more fun making music than he has in years, probably because almost 100% of his band has turned over (kudos to longtime bassist Nat Baldwin, whose playing tethers him to his own beginnings).  Beyond the new Projectors themselves, Longstreth spent the months during the writing of the album making new friends in the LA music scene, and bringing them around the studio to record various parts.  Members of Haim contribute to album standout “That’s a Lifestyle,” Syd (of The Internet) anchors the refrain in “Right Now,” and Fleet Foxes’ Robin Pecknold and Vampire Weekend alumnus Rostam Batmanglij stack harmonies onto the swirling ballad “You’re The One.”

I see LLP as the second half of a diptych begun by the self-titled Dirty Projectors, released last year.  While that record wallowed in the pain of a broken relationship with former Projector Amber Coffman, LLP reveals a healed and newly in love protagonist.  Both records feature David Longstreth at his most vocally competent: he’s now able to truly execute the melismatic R&B runs he lovingly wrote and charmingly attempted in his earliest work, his diaphragm now supports his every leap and bound, and his croon is sweeter than ever before.  But furthermore, both albums expand on ideas that have popped up throughout his illustrious and impressive body of work.  Whether he’s reviving the Rise Above era blasts of noisy guitars on “Zombie Conqueror” or revisiting the orchestral ambitions of The Getty Address on the stunningly soulful “I Wanna Feel It All,” Longstreth sounds like a worker with a complete toolbox and a detailed blueprint.  He’s been working at honing his craft for years.

I saw the Projectors in June, at a time when only “Break-Thru” and “That’s a Lifestyle” had leaked.  I didn’t know what to expect, being among the seemingly small minority of fans who liked their previous record.  But their set was staggering.  Flanked by his group of mostly-new faces, Longstreth was bouncing all over the place, proudly showcasing each instrumentalist & vocalist (seemingly everyone had at least one moment in the spotlight), visibly excited about playing with this group of people.  And that makes sense: LLP is Longstreth relishing the fundamental glee of musical collaboration.  The joy is positively bubbling over in tracks like “Right Now,” “I Feel Energy,” and “I Found it in You.”  To see him play these songs live is to wonder if he’s talking about the act of musicmaking itself when he sings: “Ask now, I’m in love for the first time ever.”

[presuninoc-blog]

Dating autism

What It’s Like to Date When You’re on the Autism Spectrum In fact, not everything in the garden is rosy.  Often, one needs to explain to a person with autism that a smile and attention from the opposite sex are sometimes just signs of politeness, not a desire to start a relationship.  High functioning autism is a masculine deviation according to gender stereotypes, but it is not.  Autistic disorders are also found in women, but their diagnosis is difficult because, in social situations, representatives of the fair sex hide mistakes using observation and imitation.  Imagine how you might act if those things are running through your mind.  For example, a hug may seem unpleasant and restrictive.

Is My Teen with Autism Ready for Dating? If you feel uncomfortable about talking about these situations with your teen is there someone you can reach out to for help? Discuss who, when, where, and how to ask someone out.  But it is not true: many people with autism have spouses and children.  There are many dating sites for lonely and shy people suffering from various phobias or psychological problems.  Imagine how much different the experience would be if you adventured down that river rather than sacrificing yourself trying to change the direction it flows.  Imagine if you viewed yourself as picky and rigid as you view her.

What It’s Like to Date When You’re on the Autism Spectrum Morales and Jolly — Dating with Autism To wrap up Healthy Heart Month, I thought it would be a good time to share this story of love.  Indeed, my first article published at Salon discussed autism and dating.  So, by avoiding eye contact, autistic people can fully concentrate on verbal communication.  Email successfully sent When you have an invisible disability, the first challenge is getting other people to believe you — to encourage them to express empathy for someone else.  We would love to hear your advice and comments below.  But most high-functioning people with autism really would like to be in a romantic relationship, according to.  So, do not be surprised if a person with autism responds to your indulgent tone with an insult.

How does it feel to date an autistic woman? A simple friendly smile will be sufficient. .  A simple expression of kindness or sympathy can be perceived much more seriously.  Navigating the social aspects of dating can be difficult for teens with autism.  Do you have further questions about dating? Eye contact is a very energy-intensive process for people with autism.  Before we started dating, I shared a pair of articles with her that I had written on the subject.  Why does she have to be so picky? It feels like a superhuman attempt at empathizing with a neurology that is completely different than your own.

How does it feel to date an autistic woman? Of course, you should do it calmly, without irritation.  Dating someone with high functioning autism The term high functioning autism is used in relation to people who have explicit symptoms of autism, but at the same time, their speech skills and level of intelligence are well developed.  Group dates are also typically tricky.  It took me awhile to develop the nerve to ask her about what she has learned while dating an autistic man, with what is colloquially known as Asperger's Syndrome.  When my writing career began in 2012, I never dreamed that I would open up about being on the autism spectrum, much less delve into the vulnerable details of my personal life.

What dating an autistic man is like Such people may become embarrassed or overwhelmed with emotions when they are expected to express and accept fairly moderate ostents of love.  Some autists may be obviously immature in their expressions of affection and sometimes perceive them as negative experiences.  Imagine how it feels to the autistic partner.  There is a common misconception that people with autism do not marry, and the reason for it is their socialization difficulties.  One of my partners told me that he is able to get along without a hitch with virtually every single person he comes into contact with - except me.  Dating someone with autism spectrum can be very difficult due to the elusive nature of the disorder.  Especially, after it was hypothesized that Bill Gates, Vincent Van Gogh, Albert Einstein, and Isaac Newton are among them.

What dating an autistic man is like People with high functioning autism are much harder to cope with life than others.  Despite their apparent adaptation to the environment, they are just as hard to interact with the world as other autists.  In addition, autostimulation helps autists to cope with stress and emotional tension.  Teens with Autism and Dating Thinking about your teen dating can be scary for some parents, but we want to help make this process a little easier for you.  They may be even annoyed by how much other people are fixated on expressing love for each other.

What dating an autistic man is like Always listen to your teen and watch for their desire to want to date.  It is crucial to talk about safe sex and helping them to understand how pregnancy can occur.  Autistic people act so not to torture you, but because it is easier for them to understand you and to be on the same wavelength as you.  Why does she have to be so rigid? Some days, I love physical contact.  After that, though, you need to learn to listen to how your disability may negatively impact them — that is, to show the very empathy for others that you insist on receiving.  Your attentiveness and support can make her life much easier.

Dating with Autism This way, it is easier for them to communicate and listen to you carefully.  For some, life turn out to be successful, while others have considerable difficulties.  Morales and Jolly found each-other using a lesser-known dating website called AutisticDating.  So, look after your autistic loved one.  And since we talked about it, he understands it.

How does it feel to date an autistic woman? A child or adult with autism may not need the same depth and frequency of expressions of love through actions or may not be aware that in a given situation, they are required to demonstrate their attachment that would bring pleasure to another person.  The Outreach program aims to teach individuals with disabilities marketable job skills, and enable them to find gainful employment.  We have a unique perspective on the world and can introduce you to a new way of thinking you might not have considered before.  To learn more about eVero Outreach,.  Support and love can be expressed in many different ways and it is not necessary to come into physical contact with a person.  This means that in response you will receive fairly straightforward answers and questions that sometimes may seem too frank to you.  It is, in fact, impossible to achieve as we autistic folks well know.