#(i know that's a terrible joke but i've been waiting SEVERAL WEEKS for a chance to use it so pls let me have this moment)

[nostalgia-tblr]

is jotun with one n or two i can't seem to find the consensus on that so i keep editing fics i've already posted based on whichever was the spelling used in the last fic i read and that's a lot of effort for a word that apparently none of us can spell anyway?

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

MIKAN TSUMIKI (DANGANRONPA 2: GOODBYE DESPAIR) (CW: Mind Control, Bullying)

1.) She is literally the saddest side character I know out of the series. She canonically went through severe abuse and bullying, oversexualizes herself as a defense mechanism, and has really bad anxiety that interferes with her interactions.

Does she get better? No.

Even though the whole theme of Danganronpa is overcoming despair, she never gets the support she needs despite having a lot of supposedly nice classmates. She CONTINUES to get verbally abused by another classmate nobody really bothers to stop, and one of her best friend even ENABLES some of her bad coping mechanisms. She's also the main source of fanservice for the second game.

Then she gets fucking brainwashed into one of the main villain's henchwoman. Yeah, the writers did NOT let her catch a break.

2.) The first two chapters are obsessed with having her do that stupid 'oh nooo all my clothes came off :"( u can see my panties :"(' shit and her free time events especially drift into the 'I'm accidentally saying something that's sexy but I don't know the connotations' brand of jokes. Idk what the spoiler policy is so I won't say much about her actual good points, but when she gets a chance to shine, she's really really interesting! For sure one of my favorite characters in the game! She's got nuance and character and relationships and motivations and interests and all that good stuff! She's even gay! It's just that its almost completely eclipsed by mediocre at best horny jokes for the first 2/3rds of her screentime in game and it drives me actually insane.

3.) You could put nearly all of the dr girls in this bracket, actually. But I picked Mikan because she's such a clear example. They just put her in there to sexualize her and her trauma. There were many ideas that could have been executed well with Mikan (I can relate to the aspect of her sexualizing herself, but the fact that they use it for fanservice is. Wow! And not in a good way) but they use her for fanservice instead. And she had the WORST execution or at least it was somewhere in the top 3. They unceremoniously cut off her development with the "despair disease" (hate that motive btw) and basically made her whole personality in what was supposed to be sorta love her 3rd act villain breakdown into "oooh my beloved ahaha I can't wait to be reunited with my beloved." I don't know shit about the anime but she seems to have been treated just as terribly there if not made worse! If it weren't for the fact that I refuse to acknowledge the animes existence it might have made me dislike her during the time I still actively liked the franchise. All the outfits they give her also feel like they were made just for fanservice shots (most of the outfits themselves aren't really bad at least not the ones I've seen it's that they were made with the intent to sexualize her and not to look good and fit her character) which is super frustrating. Oh and she was treated terribly in the game by Hiyoko but when she killed hiyoko it was just whoops she saw me kill ibuki gotta end her instead of giving her an interesting motive for even one of her kills. Honestly what makes me says she's screwed over by misogyny specifically is the fact that shit like this probably would not have happened if she were a guy. She wouldn't be written perfectly but her writing would be so much better. Like she was reduced to fanservice so so so many times and treated awfully.

OCHETTE (OCTOPATH TRAVELER 2) (CW: Racism, Ableism)

1.) SO. actually she's combod by the heavy anti-pasifika racism in ot2 but one of the strongest elements of that is that ochette herself is infantilized to the point of a 20 year old woman, who is a fully trained adult warrior and ingame stated to be like a week away from replacing her island's ultrabeast white lion guardian, being characterized by cool normal things like "having the white catholic inquisitor character promise to teach her backward people human language(the fantasy pasifika tribe she's from are kemonomimi because of course they are)", "haha ochette no understand human custom and have funny naive misunderstanding", "ochette draws the catholic inquisitor character a cutesy kiddie drawing", and being completely removed from any discussions around sex because octopath has this sexism problem where the only two types of women are innocent babies and femme fatales which is so cool AND normal. so ochette gets actually written to be essentially a "mental child" or sometimes an actual animal and is never, ever, ever allowed to have any dynamic with a human that is not paternal in nature because she is Baby. so she's also fighting the ableism. and despite all odds being stacked against her she manages to fuck super hard in a way that makes it so obvious that if ot2 was just less sexist and less racist and less ableist and someone suplexed the non-pasifika dev team and brought in at least a sensitivity reader, she could have fucked SO much harder. honestly imo the fact that the racism against her is superficially gender neutral is not proof that it's not sexism but proof that it IS, as a major part of racist sexism is treating the womanhood of woc as either unimportant or inferior compared to white womanhood, where pasifika woc specifically are often treated as eternal innocent girls who just can never understand an adult woman's relationship with gender. ochette not being allowed to be a woman and trapped at "child too young to even have a gender" is sickeningly sexist. she should have been allowed to have zest for life and be literally the "my daughter might have autism but god damn she can work a grill" lady and be unsure about taking on a hugely important position without it being used as shorthand for her being a toddler in the body of a notably very skinny girl considering she is canonically jacked enough to carry an iguana the size of a bus but WHATEVER. she should also have been allowed to hunt the white catholic inquisitor whose story climaxes with him killing an indigenous woman who secretly infiltrated the church in order to get revenge for them massacring her entire tribe that confirms ochette's people are kemonomimi because an ancient wizard cursed the brutish natives for their violence. actually fuck it i would put kaldena in too but thinking about her actually makes me depressed im so fucking sorry girl. they should BOTH have gotten a ten minute cutscene of beating hm to death with hammers

[avenging-criminal-bones]

After All This Time || Chapter Five

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Word Count: 2,146

Chapter Summary: Anger. And harshness, maybe feelings. I haven't decided yet so I guess you'll have to just read to find out.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: angst?, asshat hotch again, sad feels

A/N: Guys, I'm like legitimately so sorry that this chapter took so long. It's not even that I've been all that busy. I definitely did go to California for two weeks, but after that I think I just got lazy? Had writer's block? I don't know. But New chapter is UP.

TAGLIST:

@kingofthetwats @wanniiieeee @uwu-sebastianstan @piggyinthesea @yoshigguk @thatisthemagic @errorcosplay67 @ivebeenthinkingboutu @big-galaxy-chaos @rynfoxsleeps @phoenixsnape1 @mojofun @pachiibatt @enjoymyloves @thenewnormalforensicator @word-scribbless @zezezena @chelseyjoyce @ellyhotchner @lora21 @flipperpenguins @illegal-brains @sunnysaysbookreviews @anti-zippy-snoot @kya-li

You come to eleven hours later, the first thing that you hear being the steady beep of a monitor.

The hospital.

It smells... white, the cleanness of it making you scrunch your nose. Still not having opened your eyes, you sense the brightness, almost making you not want to at all.

However, you knew how hospital visits work. When Reid was injured, the whole team was there waiting for him to wake up. With that push, that you had people waiting for you to wake up, you opened your eyes.

Everything was too bright at first. You felt your lips fall into a grimace and joked aloud, "You guys don't need to be so quiet, she lives."

There was no response, and as your vision cleared up, the wind was knocked out of you like a punch to the gut.

Empty.

The whole room was empty. Aside from you and the TV, there was no talking. There were no people.

For a moment you thought that you were dead. Or maybe dreaming, because who wakes up from a seemingly severe injury with no support system? With no friends.

You hear your heartbeat speed up before you feel it, but boy do you feel it when it hits.

The monitor must send an alert to the nurses' station or something because shortly after, a small, black-haired woman rushes into the room.

"Agent L/N? Are you alright, is there any-,"

"I just- where- did my- wh-where is my team?" The stutter surprised you and you sat up fast, not realizing how prominent the pain in your abdomen was until it was too late. You let out a soft gasp, but looked at the nurse to hear an answer.

"Oh, uh, honey... I asked as they left and the tall, broody one said that there was an emergency." She walked up to you and turned a dial on your IV machine, gently asking you to lay down again.

You complied, not fully paying attention. Your mind was somewhere else; thinking about the harshness of your team, but you had to assume that this was Hotchner's doing.

"You alright, sweetie," the kind nurse asks, her name is Monica.

You nod slowly, your head feeling a lot lighter than it had when you woke up. "Yeah. I'm okay. Um, before you go can you hand me my phone?"

She nods, looking at you for where, and you gesture to the bag that's slightly out of your reach. Monica hands you both the phone and its charger, pointing to an outlet on the wall behind your head.

Nodding in thanks, you plug the charger into the wall and watch the kind nurse leave before unlocking your phone. You see immediately that you have five missed calls from your mother, and after further searching, you notice messages from Emily, JJ, and Penelope. JJ's was the most recent, so you open hers first.

JJ (BAU) 43 minutes ago.

Hey Y/N, In case you wake up before we get back, Hotch called our debrief meeting, so we all went back to the precinct. Sorry, hon.

xoxo JJ and the Girls

You didn't register the tears until they were falling down your cheeks. You sighed a bit and replied to JJ's message with a short, 'got it'.

As soon as you pushed the 'send' button, the door to your room opened again and your entire team rushed in.

Well, most of the team.

Really, everyone except one person.

You were quick to wipe your eyes, trying to hide the fact that you had been crying. JJ walked to the chair beside your bed and sat down, giving you the most gentle hug as she did.

"Did you get my message? Are you feeling okay? Do you need a nurse, any water?"

"JJ, you're momming her," Derek joked as he bent to give you a hug. "For real though, you feelin' alright, lil mama?"

You nodded, sending him a tight-lipped smile as Emily walked over to the other side of your bed, bringing Penelope with her on a video call.

Spencer even came by, but he looked relatively uncomfortable and stayed by the door.

Waving at him a bit, you say, "You can come in you know. I won't bite."

"I know, Y/N. I was just worried. Statistically speaking, you survived on an off-chance. The ratio was close to 83:17, and the bullet entered your abdomen in-"

"I get it Spence. I should be dead," you pause slightly seeing everyone's wide-eyed look at your bluntness, "BUT I didn't die, so everyone can stop looking at my like I'm going to break and just settle." You chuckle a bit and sigh as you see the rest of the team besides Spencer nod their heads or visibly relax their shoulders.

"You're right, kiddo," Rossi says quietly, "You're okay, and we can celebrate that."

"Thanks, Rossi." Smiling, you lean into his hand, which was cradling the side of your face for a moment. "Can someone get Hotchner please? I had some words that I'd like to have him hear."

JJ places her hand on your arm then and says, "Y/N, maybe that's not the best idea right now."

"No," you shake your head and make eye contact with her, "That's exactly what I need right now."

"Y/N..."

"Spencer, can you go get him please? He's just sitting out in the lobby, correct?" You snap a little harsher than you meant to.

The boy stutters a bit, but eventually nods his head and walks out of the room. The rest of the team shares a look before also walking out, giving you space for when your boss comes in.

Sitting up straighter in the bed, you even your mouth into a thin line just as Hotchner walks in the room.

"Am I off the clock right now, sir?" You don't miss the way his eyes flash to your lips but you choose to ignore it.

He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "Say what you need to say, agent."

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling the debrief not only at a time where one of the team members can't make it, but when the team member is in the hospital with a GSW wound." Your voice rises steadily as you continue talking, but you have more to say. "Not only that, but you couldn't even be bothered to make sure I was okay when the debrief was over?" Subconsciously, you recognize the switch from a third-person mindset to a personal one, but you pay it no mind.

"Agent L/N, you-"

"No. You will call me Y/N, and I will be calling you Aaron. We aren't on the clock right now and you don't deserve my professionalism," the heart monitor spikes in tempo, and you throw the blanket off of your lap.

He quirks an eyebrow at you as you command him, but nods his head slightly, letting you be in control for the moment. "Go ahead, Y/N. You get whatever irrational anger you have towards me out in the open and we can deal with the consequences later."

"I left EVERYTHING for this job, Aaron. I left my mom, who never stopped grieving a lost son, I left my job there thinking this would be better, and I lost friends and people who actually cared about my well-being. People who wouldn't leave one of their own in an unknown hospital to wake up by themself, not sure if they were even actually alive since there wasn't anyone with them." You saw Aaron flinch with everything that you listed, but you didn't care. He needed to hear it. "So yeah, Aaron. I get to be angry, and you don't get to tell me it's irrational, because this is the most rational I think I've been this entire year."

"Y/N. You put not only yourself, but me, and the rest of the team in danger yesterday. Excuse me if I don't want to see you and be around you while you're in the hospital." Really, if burned Aaron to his core that he couldn't reach over and tuck the stray piece of hair behind your ear, because right now that's what he wanted to do. Except it's inappropriate and he's not sure you'd let him within three feet of you.

"NO! You see, that's not how it works. Are you telling me that if you saw a little boy with a gun trained on them, you wouldn't have done the exact same thing?" Hot tears fill your eyes, but you don't wipe them. You almost hope that him seeing you cry will make him feel bad, if even just a little.

Glancing at the way his jaw was set and how he clenched his fists in his lap, you knew he was struggling to keep his cool, so of course you pushed harder.

"What if it was Jack, Aaron."

"Dammit, L/N, it wasn't Jack. It was just some boy that we couldn't save. We shouldn't have been able to save him. You didn't use the training you had, and you didn't use the rational part of your brain. As terrible as that sounds, and trust me, I never want to lose a victim, if you had used the training from the bureau, we wouldn't have saved him. " Aaron stands up and paces the length of the bed then, feeling your eyes following him the whole time.

You shake your head as you let your gaze fall to your lap. "I wasn't going to let him die again... I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

Aaron's eyebrows furrow a bit and he looks at you with angry curiosity in his eyes, "Again? What do you mean by that?" That's when Hotch remembered earlier when you mentioned her mother who lost a son. "Y/N, did your brother... No. Actually, I'm sorry, just forget I said anything,"

There was a dark anger in your eyes as you shook your head. "No, Aaron. Ask me. Ask me this one question, and then reassess your profiling of me."

His gaze turned steely as he squared his shoulders again, showing no emotion in his voice as he spoke. He almost felt like the best way to approach you right now was as if you were the unsub.

"Was your brother murdered, Y/N?"

Dropping your head, you feel the tears burning in your eyes again and you nod. "He was only five. He had his whole life ahead of him. You'd think a child would be safe with a group of nuns or a priest, but no. Not even them. He was branded with a cross before he was killed and it's just unfair."

Aaron starts to walk closer to your bed, seeing the devolving pattern of your breathing, "Y/n, I'm so sorry, I-"

"No. Aaron, just, please go. I'll catch a flight home when I'm allowed to fly again, so you guys just go home and I'll figure it out. I mean, that's what I did when I was waking up by myself, right? Go ahead and fire me if you need to, suspend me, I don't care anymore, but I'll come back when the hospital says it's safe." You take a deep breath and watch as he turns away.

He gets all the way to the door before he turns back around and says, "What was his name."

"Joey."

Hotch nods and walks out of the door, remembering that the final victim, the one that you saved, was named Joseph.

After the encounter with Hotch you fell asleep. The heavy medication and the anger in your head knocked you out easily. You were asleep for a few hours, but you woke up when your pain medication wore off.

You noticed that your work phone had a few notifications, so you sat up a bit and looked through them.

There were two that stood out to you. The first one was a notification that read "Hotchner (Asshat) has added you to the group 'BAU Team'". The second was his message in that group chat.

Hotchner (Asshat) 2 hours ago

Hey team, change in plans. We will be staying here until Y/N gets cleared to fly. It should only be a couple of days and I know we were planning on flying out tonight. Sorry, Thanks.

As soon as you liked his message, your texts were blowing up from Emily. She was saying stuff about how "he totally likes you", and about, "you had a rough time on this case".

Also, apparently Derek saved all of his sarcasm for when Hotch got back, and the thought made you smile.

[badhebie]

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

[03-07-2021] Return to the city, which I have left for several years. Bandung. A town I love, which never fails to impress me. The city always has something new around every corner.

Made an appointment to Meet an 'old friend' that I never seen or talking for many years. After talking with shitty and unnecessary chitchat then we moved to an old Kopitiam around Sudirman Street that still amazed me until now.

After many years passed, this old Kopitiam still impress me. The building, the wall arts, the decorations, the ambience, the lighting, even the people coming here still same as in the past. Many old guys and old ladies coming here only for playing capsa, chess or mahjong showdown while enjoying some Coffee or Tea with some Dimsum. They just playing happily with each other. They seems dont care that now already quite late at night. What a moments.. Reminiscing!

After feeling mesmerized, we order some of their Signature Coffee and some Dumplings. I'm shocked to know that their tastes of Coffee is consistency and never change! That's cool!

Because of nowadays I'm enjoying writting about anything, then I tell my friend that I will record all of our chitchat and conversation into an mp3 recording file. So I could make the convo's transcript to fill in into my blog :))

t r a n s c r i p t :

Me : This Kopitiam kinda reminds me about the old times that we always coming here for almost every week with our friends..

P : Ya Ya Ya.. indeed! It is not every week! But twice a week, hahaha..

It's been long story we talking about anything until I tell her about my problems.. she looks kinda shock hearing it all and seems not believe for what happening to me right now.

Yes I told her about my family's matters..

P : Oh.. ( I can see her eyes pouring some tears )

I cannot believe why you have to be an asshole by cheating to your wife? Do you know that what you have done is so heartless and hurts your wife so much? Oh ibie!! I really cannot believe what you have done!! really.. fucking asshole! (I can see some rage on her eyes!)

Me : Well, things happens! My life is fucked. And I really fully regrets! I dont know how to fix this.. Yes I know I have done something terrible.. But at that time, I feels like i lost controls to myself and everything. And at that time I feels like I dont understand myself too..

P : You dont need to make excuse for youself! Wrong is wrong.. You have no reasons to do all this fucking things!

Me : Yes I know.. and I admit that I was an asshole for doing this.. and now i really regretfully for what happened to my family..

at that time, I feels like sometimes my wife didnt love me and sometimes I feels like she never respect me.. I dont know this is only my feeling or my reasons, but yes sometimes i feels like that..

Maybe because Im an overthinker person, thats why that time I lost control to myself and doing all this bad things. But after that i feel regret.. really sad and sorry..

P : Whatever your reasons, bie! What you've done is unacceptable.. Oh I really speechless to you! fuck!

Then, have you apologize to your wife and ask for forgiveness from her? Have you explain everything to her? Are you really feel sorry now?

Me : Yes I do! As a man, I do apologize and ask for forgiveness from her. I even kneel to her to forgive me and give me chance. I dont know how to fix this.. I dont know how to make her forgive me and give me last chance and trust me again that I will never ever doing very bad mistakes again and broke her trust again.

P : Then? Did she forgive you?

Me : No, She is not. She said she cannot give me chance for now and ask me to clear my self out of problems.. at first I was so excited that I thought she is willing to give me chance. I'm doing my best effort to fix everything, I do my best to bring back her trust on me. Until one day I realized that she's only play with my guilt and probably just want to revenge to me. After knowing that, I feels numb and thinking that all my efforts was nothing. What am I trying to fix was meaningless.. Then its time I have stopped all my efforts to fix everything and stop expecting. I feel bad.. really bad!

P : Huh? What do you mean? I dont get it. Why dont you continue to fix with her? Show your fully efforts to brings her back!! Its all your fault then you have to fix!

Me : Yes, at first I will show her my fully effort and Im willing to do anything to fix all of this. Then one day I realized that she was looking for another guys or maybe now she probably having a relationship with someone else already. That day I realized that all she said by saying will give me chance after I clear myself out was only a joke, its fake and just an empty hope!

Can you imagine, if she said will give me chance but in reality she was in relationship with another guy? Then I have to fix what? I have to keep fighting to fix everything when she has already have relationship with another guy? It's unacceptable for me! If she said she will give me chance, she have to wait and look at my progress, she have to let me work my best and wait me until I clear myself out, but what she did is having another relationship with someone else! Then what she said will giving me chance was a fake and its all lie! Am I right? Thats why I'm stopped all of this!

P : Huh? Wait.. wait! I miss something here. So, she said she will give you chance but you have to fix yourself first BUT in reality, she was having relationship with another guy already? So, what I got here is she probably waiting you for fixing yourself but while waiting she has another relationship with someone else? She is having relationship while waiting you?

Me : YES! Exactly! I'm not sure she's already in relationship or still looking for another guy.. but this is so heartless and unacceptable for me! Why dont she just said NO MORE CHANCE for me instead of saying will giving me chance but having another relationship with someone else or looking for someone else? Its does not make sense!

P : If this is the case, then yes.. actually what she have to do is just saying directly to you that NO CHANCES for you. I dont understand her as well.. why she said she will give you chance after you clear yourself out but she is having or looking relationship with someone else.. Haha im curious about it! Well, then its your rights to stop or to keep fighting for her! But I understand you, you will feel hurt when you keep fighting for her while she was having relationship with someone else. Well, my advice is just follow your heart! But if the case is like this, you better pull yourself out of this situation and keep walking.. At least you already did your job, feels regret, apologizing, ask for forgiveness and trying your best to fix everything, eventhough in the end it didn't go as you pleased, but at least you tried. You did a great job, bie!

Me : Yes! I take my punishment already by cannot see and touch my son. As a man, I admit my big mistakes to her already! I feels fully regret already. I ask for forgiveness already, I promise to her that I will never ever doing bad mistakes and broke her trust anymore, I doing everything already to regain her trust! But she wasting all my efforts! She is playing with my feeling by saying will give me chance after I cleared myself out! She gave me fake and empty hope. So i pull myself out and stopped! At least if someday Mica grown up, I can tell him what I did. I can tell Mica that his dad already trying to fix everything but his mom is wasting my efforts and playing with me. So im gonna give up..

*She looks confused, sad, and crying..*

P : Do you still love your wife after what you have done?

Me : Yes I do. I love her with all my heart.. It will and always! I've been fully regret with what I did to her. If I could turn back the time, even it cost my life, then I would.. GIving up didnt means I didnt love her, I just feel tired hurt myself as well.. and I feeling hurts when my efforts wasn't appreciated. Been there, done that! But I will always love her with all my heart and I keep saying sorry to her in my heart and my prays..

P : Im sure you were really miss Mica and your wife.. I can see from your eyes.. it looks empty! You miss them so bad.. (*she looks crying again)

Me : I miss my son for every second of my life.. I never felt this way, missing someone til my heart aches! It really hurt deep inside.. Almost every night Im crying missing my son. What I could do only looking at Mica's photos on my gallery.. No father in this world who is strong enough to bear the pain of missing his child. Its really unbearable for me..

P : Do you try to call Mica everyday? You can video call to him to heal your wound.. Or ask his mom to video call to you everyday if posisble. Or ask her to send Mica's picture for you at least once a day.. Im sure it will not bother her at all

Me : Yes, I do ask her already to send me Mica's picture as much as she can.. but you know what, Pao? I think she trying to separate me with Mica as well..

P : HAH ??!! What do you mean??

Me : Yes, you heard it right! I think she trying to separate me and Mica as well.. Do you know why? I ask her many times already to send Mica's pic as much as she can.. and she said YES, she will try to send Mica's pic as much as she can. But again, in reality she was fake again.. she only send like every 4 or 5 days or even 1 WEEK and only send 1 photos or videos. Do you think its called "AS MUCH AS SHE CAN" ? send pic every 4-5 days and only 1 ? After waiting for every 4-5 days I only got 1 pic or 1 short video.. She can HATE ME as much as she want but she have no rights to separate innocent child to his father, right??? Yes you are RIGHT! Even 1 photo per day it will not bother her at all.. But she just dont want! But she probably busy looking and impress some guys out there instead of sending me some of my Son's photos that I always wait like forever.. sending some pic's everyday not wasting even 1 minutes of her time. But this is about WANT or DONT WANT!

P : WHAATTTT?! REALLY?? Sorry bie.. but in my opinion, no matter how bad the father, every childs in this world is have FULLY RIGHTS to know his/her father! If she doing that, she is FORCEFULLY take Mica's RIGHTS to know you as his father.. she is doing a bad parenting system! How heartless she was.. She take Mica's rights as innocent child to know his father. Well, somehow I feel bad for you bie. You are right, She can hate you as much as she wanted to, but she have NO RIGHTS to force Mica to not to know his father.. Oh my God! Somehow, I got your point when before you said you have your own reason by doing some bad mistakes to her.. Well, I dont know but I got the point somehow! Its only you can feel it.. But it doesnt mean you were right! You are still WRONG by doing the FUCKING BAD THINGS! But I know at least you did a great job by fully regret it, apologizing, and trying to fix with her, even in the end she wasn't appreciate you, at least you try.. a gentleman's job! Standing ovation for you bie..!

P : . . . .

P : As a man and as a normal human being, its OK for you to make mistakes. Learn from it, take lessons from it, and promise for you life that you will never ever do it again. Even you ever failed as a man and as a husband to your loved ones, Im sure that you have fully regret now. But you never failed as a Daddy! Im sure you were being a Super Daddy for Mica! And Im sure, Mica is super love you and proud to you as his Father! You will be a good Dad for him, Im sure of that bie..!

Me : Bad Parenting Systems? Probably yes.. She is forcefully take Mica's right to know me as his father.. Well, if someday Mica grows up, I hope Mica didnt grown up with rage and questioning where is his Dad! Because He will understand when he grows up.. And someday I hope I could explain everything to him what was happened.. At least I have tried everything and its gonna be my reasons to Mica..

P : I feel sad for you bie.. Keep strong and be patients! God will never sleep.. If you feel fully regret and promise to never ever doing bad mistakes again for your life, im sure God will always listens to you and helps you.. keep believe it! Im Buddhist too like her.. so Im sure we belief about Karma. You get your bad Karma already by doing bad on the past. And if she is proven trying to separate Mica from his Daddy, Im sure too she will get Karma too for what she did.. For now you better stand up and keep walking for your life. And love yourself more than before.. Last time we met you look so fat than now.. Now you look losing weight! Remember you have to keep healthy.. Overthinking will make you sicks! Try to forgive yourself.. Try to accept yourself back.. Try to love yourself again.. What's DONE is DONE! you cannot turn back the time, but you can fix it and make it better.. But first forgive yourself and love yourself, so you can stand up and walking again.

Me : Yes I try to walks again.. and now I almost can running again hahaha! But the pain is still unbearable for me for missing my Son every second of my life.. it hurts so much for missing him!

If you were her, would you like to give me second chance for me to fix it? I just want to know from other people's perspective..

P : HAH? If I were her? You mean if this bad things happens to me? Hmmm.. Well, If I was her and this is happened to me, for sure I will very angry, mad, and sad as much as she did, or maybe more than she did. But after that I will heal myself first and think clearly for what I should do. But in my opinion, every people DESERVE a second chance! Especially if we have childs already. For sure in the end I will give you a second chance and let you prove yourself that you will never ever doing bad things again and broke my trust. Because for me second chance is LAST CHANCE! So if this happened again, NO MORE CHANCES for you for your life! But yeahh.. for me every people deserve a second chance! Especially when I see you were really regrets and I can see your efforts to fix everything! Its for me.. But every people's have different minds, so my opinion cannot be used as a standard! But for sure If I were her and I already said I will give you chance, then I would really give you chance and see you progress first.. I will waiting how much you can show and prove yourself to fix and be a better person than before! But for sure I will not looking for other guys while waiting HAHAHAHA.. because I will be honest and pure from heart when I said i will giving you chance.. No FAKE FAKE woyyy! Hahaha..

Me : Here we comes the sarcastic moments, hahaha... But thank you for your perspectives! I hope she could do as you said,, but yeah every people is different!

P : Then dont be too worry bie.. I hope she could opened her heart soon and not thinking only about herself, but about Mica as well.. Mica is still really too little for this! He needs both his Mummy and Daddy on his side. Dont let innocent child be victims from the selfishness of their parents.

Me : Well, I dont know about that.. I feel too tired and almost fully giving up..

P : You can rest a while bie.. And I know for now you were busy and tired with your business hahaha.. congrats anyway! Dont give up bie! Move forward!! I will joins and helps your business.. your coffee bottle is super yummy and your cornflakes is good, especially the peppersalt one! I like it.. No one's here using cornflakes as snacks, thats why I think it looks promising business.. Just dont give up and keep walking! Thats my note! Dont feeling down when sometimes your business is going down.. You need to have a strong mentality build when you working on personal business. Up and down on personal business is normal..

Me : Hahaha thanks! Yes it starting to grows.. I will working hard for it! Woyyy of course its good, it has secret recipes from starbucks hahaha.. Yes yes you have to helps me extent and expand my selling hahaha.. just kidding, Pao! But thank you, you boosted up my mood haha..

P : YEEESSSSSS!!! hahaha sure I will helps you as much as I can, dont worry! haha.. And I will promote it anywhere haha.. soon you will need to open mini factory, hahaha Ameeenn!!!

And dont worry, when I said AS MUCH AS I CAN, I will do and act in real, not only words or FAKE!! hahahahahahaha..

*we both laugh hard on this*

Me : LOL hahaha.. Here we comes again for another sarcastic moments, Hahahah! But Ameeennnn!! Thanks, Pao! I feel lightly after I confess to you all my stories.. wish me better and better OK?

P : Sure!!! Im sure you can..!

The time has passed, It's been 02:50am already. Then I sent her home and I back home as well. Thanks for listening to my vent, Pao! What a day!! Ready to work again tomorrow ^_^