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[eugenesmorphine]

The Highest Honor // A Ronald Speirs Imagine

@alienoresimagines @alienoresimagines

AN: I am very aware this isn’t historically accurate! I got this idea from a friend of mine and added my own things into it! I apologize if it doesn’t make sense or something, I am trying something new. So please do not hate on it :). And some pieces are in German, in which there are translations with them. If there are any errors, I'm sorry in advance. Also, let me know if you guys want a part two to this, I'm contemplating making a second part.

I slid on that drasted German Officer’s uniform. I was supposed to be a Paratrooper. You know, on the ground with a rifle, taking down groups of Germans. Not becoming a spy to help the French regain Paris back. I pulled my hair back into a neat bun, placing my cap on top of my head. I looked in the mirror, within my body a tinge of shame, It felt wrong wearing the enemy's uniform. Especially as a Jew myself, knowing what the Germans have been doing to my people. I applied a red lipstick. And taking one last glance at myself within the mirror, flattening down the pencil skirt and adjusting the blazer. It sent a large shiver down my spine. To look at myself and see me wearing this uniform, it was sickening. 

I took a deep breath, swallowing hard as I grabbed the door handle. Twisting it and pulling the door open. It seemed as if all of Easy Company was standing outside of my door. My cheeks heated up in the slightest. I kept my chin high. I know they didn’t like seeing me in the uniform, especially Ronald. I glanced at him, trying to make it so no one would notice me catching his eyes.

///

Captain Ronald Speirs and I had been having somewhat of a secret relationship these past few months. I’m aware it sounded dumb. Though, the officer and I were in love. But the rules in the Army were the rules. It didn’t stop us though. To my knowledge only Richard Winters knew about the two of us, and both Ron and I knew he would never say a word. The two of us would barley and even speak during the day. Only in briefings with the rest of the higher rankings. When it came to night time though, when everyone was asleep. Ron and I would sneak out just like teenagers. The two of them would go sit somewhere more private and talk for hours. Or do other things. Like kisses and so on. Oh god was he a good kisser. Behind that rough and scary front he put on, with me, he wasn’t like that. He was actually quite sweet. 

You must be wondering how Ron and I actually came to be what we are now. I showed up to Easy Company, the first female Paratrooper yet. I was a translator, originally supposed to be the secretary and just translating documents. I was trained for combat but I was supposed to stay back with the higher ups. That was until Major Horton actually saw more potential in me. I was put on the line, I stayed with officers mostly on the line and when going into places like Carentan and Bastogne.

I had met Mr. Speirs when we had first Parachuted into Normandy and he was the first man I had linked up with. I remember hearing stories about him, and it was with him where I killed my first set of Germans. We spoke a few words that night, though it was safe to say that after that night, after I saved his ass from a Kraut, I guess that where “we” began. We began getting secretly closer and closer ever since that day. Leading to all our small accomplishments, us sneaking our first kiss inside the empty dining hall late at night, just to have Winters walk in on us. So much has gone on the fast time. I had completely fallen for Ron. And from what he said, he felt that exact same.

///

Now here I was. What seems to be decades later. When I had glanced at Ron for a few seconds, I could see the nervousness etched into his face. One of the French Resistance leaders approached me quickly though, pulling me and the rest of Easy Company along for a quick briefing before this mission.  On the surface, my face was calm and straight forward. My voice is calm and steady. But mentally, I was terrified. God knows what the German’s would do to me if they found out I was a spy. Let alone a Jew. 

“Listen Corporal L/N, we are going to send you in. You are to only speak in German, you are Adeline Lieslotte, you are there as a secretary. You are going in to get as much information about anything and everything you can memorize, take, whatever. Understand?” The man’s French accent was thick. Though, I understood what was needed of me. I nodded in response to him. Gulping as I watched everyone except Ron walk out. I was nervous for what I needed to do in just an hour.  

I watched as Ronald quickly walked over to the open door, looking outside to see if anyone was around. He quickly shut the door. Walked back to me. He immediately cupped my face, pressing his lips against mine. His kiss was so firm, but you could feel the fear from deep within him. I grasped at his messy hair. My fingers raked through his hair. I pulled away from him, looking into his eyes. His face was soft, like a lost puppy almost.

“Please Y/N, please be safe. I can’t lose you too. Come back to me,” he pleaded. His voice was broken up. He was actually worried. Like really worried. I cupped his face, bringing him down to be eye level with me. Looking directly into his eyes.

“I promise you Ronald Speirs, that I will make it back to you,” I promised. Giving him one more peck on the lips before my name was called. I pulled away from him. Flattening my skirt and applying new lipstick. I gave Ronald one last glance before walking out the door. The only sound was my heels clicking against the hardwood floor.  

Now was the time. I was in a Jeep getting to a German building filled to the brim with high end Nazis. I clutched a suitcase in my hand as I hopped out of the jeep and began walking into the building. My heart was pounding and I had thousands of thoughts coursing through my brain. I tried to seem calm on the outside, and it seemed to be working. I began walking through all the different floors, office spaces. Sneaking pieces of documents, reading over small documents, trying to listen in and write down things from conversations. I kept doing this for three hours. It was all going well, until I was approached by which seemed like a high ranking Nazi Officer. I gulped as he approached me.

“Hallo, wie scheint dein Name zu sein? Ich glaube nicht, dass ich dich schon einmal hier gesehen habe?” he asked, (hello, what seems to be your name? I don't think I've seen you here before?). I gulped. Was he on to me?  Play it cool Y/N, you are fine. You got this. Nothing is going to happen. Right? 

“Mein Name ist Adeline Lieselotte, ich wurde als andere Sekretärin hierher gebracht,” I replied (My name is Adeline Lieselotte, I was brought here as another secretary).My german coming out smooth and the accent perfect. 

“Sekretär? Ich wurde nicht über eine neue Sekretärin informiert. Wenn überhaupt, wurde mir mitgeteilt, dass wir mehr als genug davon hatten,” His voice was sceptical (Secretary? I was not informed of a new secretary. If anything I was informed that we had more than enough of them). I felt my anxiety levels start rising. Was I caught? 

“Es tut mir leid, dass niemand Sie informiert hat, Sir. Ich dachte, Sie wurden informiert,” I answered, my words coming out rushed and seemingly nervous (I'm sorry no one had informed you sir, I thought you had been informed). I just screwed myself over. Think of Ronald, go to your happy place. You’re going to make it out of this Y/N and you are going to make it out with the love of your life. I watched as the Nazi officer’s face changed. Into one of the shit eating smirks as if he knew something was up. I was screwed. I mentally began praying.

“Nun, Miss Lieselotte, möchten Sie mit mir einen Spaziergang in die Vorderseite des Gebäudes machen? Ich würde gerne mehr darüber erfahren, wofür Sie sie beauftragt haben,” he said, his voice strangely cherry (Well, Miss Lieselotte, would you like to take a walk with me out into the front of the building? I would like to know more of what you were assigned you to do). I swallowed hard and put on a smile. Clutching my suitcase in my hand tightly. I knew exactly what he was doing. The Nazis already knew that us Americans were around this perimeter, but just didn’t know where. I knew that Easy Company was hidden around the thick forests in front of the building, waiting for me to return safely. They must know that too. Shit. 

I followed the officer outside. The cold air hit my face and it sent a shiver throughout my entire body. And as soon as I went to walk down those stairs, I felt a hard shove from two hands placed into the center of my back. I went flying forward, my small frame hitting each step. I felt my knee get a hard and large scrape across it, the warm blood trickling down my knee. I’m finished. My body hit the snowy ground, it already ached from the hard fall down the many marble and rock stairs. Though, I put my hands beneath my body and pressed myself upwards. I was about to stand up before I felt a hard leather boot right in my ribcage. A loud yelp left my lips as I rolled over on my side , clutching it. For sure at least one rib was broken.

“You think I wouldn’t find out you stupid American? You think the others didn’t see you grabbing our documents and listening in our conversations? You Americans are even dumber than we thought,” he spoke in English. It was broken up and his German accent was strong with it. I looked up at him, Panting as I tried to stand once more. This time I felt his leather gloves first collide with my cheek. The force knocked me right back down. I thought I was seeing birds flying around my head. I looked back up at him, he had an evil smirk plastered onto his face. I then looked to the tree line. Knowing my Easy Company was there watching me. I tried looking hard into the thick brush of the trees and bushes. I could see them. I could see my men. Their eyes filled with horror as they began watching me getting beaten. 

I felt my Garrison cap be ripped off and the hair on top of my head being gripped into the officer’s fist. He yanked it back, arching my head up. He got close into my ear and whispered, “I know your little friends are out there, why don’t you just tell me where your camp is? All of this will be over if you just work with us,” as he turned my head towards the woods. He squeezed my cheeks with his free hands, making the blood that had filled my mouth drip on to my chin and into the snow. I would never give my men’s position away. No matter what. I just stayed quiet, and when the Nazi demanded an answer once more. I used my eyes to look at him.

“Fick dich,” I responded, biting down hard onto his hand (Fuck You). He yelled out in pain, slamming my head down into the snow. I watched as he grabbed onto his now bleeding hand. I spit blood onto his boot and stood myself up. My legs wobbled beneath me, but I held my ground. “I can take it,” I yelled. Loud enough for the rest of Easy to hear me. I wasn’t really scared anymore. It must’ve been the adrenaline. 

I watched as the Officer looked up at me, his evil smirk changed into a look of pure anger. He walked up to me and socked me right in the eye. That would surely bruise. I stumbled backwards, bringing my hand up to the eye that was just hit. “Just tell me where they are, and I’ll maybe spare you,” he said, his thick accent spilling out of his mouth. I just stared at him, not a word leaving my bleeding lips. My silence did not please him. The large officer then grabbed my neck and slammed me against one of the German trucks. His hand tightened around my throat, leaving me slightly gasping for air. I brought my hands up to try to hit his hand off my throat. His free hand reached up and slugged me in the nose. My head snapped to the right from the force. I could feel warm blood begin flowing down my face. I coughed on the blood, making it spray on the abusers face. I kept gasping for air, my head began to seemingly spin. I watched weakly as his hand went up and he hit me again. And then again. And then again. Each hit felt harder than the last.

I weakly looked back at the Officer. Both from lack of oxygen and the amount of times I had just been slugged. My eyebrow had been split open along with my lip, my mouth was pouring blood along with my nose. I watched weakly as he raised his hand again, not even flinching as he cocked his arm back, ready to strike. Though, I just closed my eyes, waiting for the blow. But it all cut short from a huge explosion coming from inside their base. What the hell was going on. My eyes opened heavily, the officer’s fist was still in the air as he looked in the direction of the explosion. I followed with the same actions. I was just as confused. He dropped me onto the ground and ran into what looked like the burning remains of the building I was just sneaking around in. Screams and cries of pain, and Germans running out into the snow engulfed in flames. Then gunshots rang off. I was deliriously on the ground, trying to push my now broken feeling body up. But my arms were so tired and they hurt so bad, I couldn’t get myself up. I began trying to crawl. What a pathetic sight that must’ve been. I watched as boots ran past me, like they were going into the fire.

I looked up. It was Easy Company! Or was the multiple blows to my brain bucket catching up to me. I heard someone calling my name. It sounded so foggy and static it seemed. I looked up, once more trying to get myself up, but once again failing. My eyes met with his. It was my Ronald. Oh god was I happy he was here. His face was softened, and so worried. How bad did I look? 

“Oh my god, Doll. You are going to be okay baby, Doc’s going to get you all patched up. I promise,” he tried to reassure me. I nodded, coughing up more blood. “I knew I shouldn’t of let you go on this stupid mission,” he muttered angrily, carrying me in bridal style. I felt so tired, I could barely even hold my arms up to gently wrap them around Ron’s neck.  My eyes got so heavy, I could barely keep them open. I felt a light hand tap my face as I could feel Ronald’s pace quicken. I opened my eyes to see his gaze, his worried filled gaze. “Come on Y/N, stay awake, you got this,” he begged. I nodded, swallowed. It was like the blood kept filling my mouth and blood kept dripping down my face. It made me feel so gross. 

Ronald got me to Doc Roe just minutes later. They laid me down on a table and that's when it all went dark. I was just so tired, I couldn;t keep my eyes open for the life of me. I hope Ronald wasn’t upset with me. Now I was left in silence, in my own thoughts. Why was there an explosion? That wasn’t the plan I was told at all. What would've happened if I was still inside? Oh I have a few words to pick with the person that ordered our Flyboys and bombers. I was going to let them have it. But for now, maybe a little sleep won’t hurt. 

///

My eyes blinked open. I don’t think I’ve ever had more of a painful migraine in my life. I propped myself up, feeling a sharp pain from within my ribcage. Causing me to wince and place a free hand on the area. Looking down to see my torso, tightly wrapped white bandages around my ribs. I sighed as I looked around the little aid station. The bitter cold within the room told me that I never left. I spotted a familiar officer laying uncomfortably in a chair in the corner of the little room I was in. He was out cold. Visibly being able to see the exhaustion exteched onto his features. My face softened at the sight. Though, my attention was grasped on someone else when the person walked in, clearing their throat. I looked up and no other than Doc Roe. He gave me a slight nod in which I returned before he walked over next to me. 

“You seem like you are recovering well. You had two broken ribs, severe concussion, the inner linings of your throat were swollen and bruised, a break in your wrist, and a small break in your femur, split lip, lucky your nose wasn’t broken, eyebrow was split open, bruises on you cheek and temple, cheek has a cut. Though, along with other minor problems, everything was taken care of. I heard from Winters that you might be getting a medal from riskin’ your life getting all those documents. Especially keeping quiet when that Nazi officer was beating you like no tomorrow. All the information you received in that suit case of yours was obtained and boy was it useful. Hell, some of it might help end the war!” this was the most I’ve ever heard Roe speak in a conversation. There was so much he said, and so fast. I had so many injuries, but a medal? Why in the hell was I going to get a medal? What kind of medal? So many thoughts had begun spinning through my mind, I had only just woken up about five minutes ago. What the hell was going on. Most importantly, I wanted to know why in the hell did that place blow up! Was nobody else wondering this? Like at all? I shook it off, I didn’t really care anymore at this moment. I was more worried about the fact I was getting a medal.

Soon after, Ronald woke up. Getting up so fast he nearly fell over. I swung my legs over to one side of my cot. Watching as the Captain ran over to me, cupping my face and kissing me. “I thought I lost you,” he stated quietly, placing his forehead on top of mine. Roe piped in once more.

“He has been sitting in that chair the entire time. Not leaving the room once,” he said, walking out of the room. I looked at Ron, his cheeks reddening. I smiled, laughing softly and kissed him once more.

“I’m guessing everyone knows about us now?” I asked, scratching the back of my neck. He chuckled, pulling away from me. He sat next to me and nodded. It wasn’t too big of a problem with me, it was kind of nice actually. “It’s alright Ron, I’m just happy you’re okay,” I said, holding his hand softly.

“Me?!” he exclaimed. “I’m happy you’re okay! I thought I lost you. I had to watch you get beaten like that, I couldn't even yell out to you. And when the miscommunication with our Flyboys and the bombers, I thought I really had lost you. What if you had been inside that building? What would I do without you,” he sighed. I could tell he was stressed about all this, putting so much pressure onto himself.I felt terrible. He was really tearing himself apart, I could just tell by how he looked. I gave his hand a squeeze. He looked up at me. “They are putting you in for the Medal of Honor,” he stated. My eyes grew wide and my mouth hung open. The Medal of Honor? For what? I don’t in any way deserve that high of an honor. Or any honor.

“Why me?” I asked in disbelief. I was being put in for the Military's highest honor. In every branch, there aren’t many that receive this honor. I was terrified for some reason. I didn’t know how to act and or what to do. I came into this war as a translating secretary for Easy Company, and now somehow, I was receiving the Medal of Honor. I took a deep breath, staring forward at the wall. Just trying to take in all of the information. 

“The reason why you are receiving it is because you went into the Nazi filled building, being a Jewish American who speaks German for starters, as a spy. You showed up to be a translator and secretary. You weren’t even supposed to be on the line and or closer to changer than a minimal amount. Then here you were, volunteering to go into an environment that you know you could easily die and or get captured in. You were able to get so much intel with stealing copies of documents, listening to conversations and writing notes, taking pictures, we now have a huge upper hand that the Nazis don’t know about. You got caught, and even being beaten so bad, you didn’t give out our position. You nearly died while Doc was stitching you up. You had so much head trauma, blood loss, and your throat almost swollen shut. Though, I knew you knew that you could’ve died in the hands of that man or on that table, but you knew what you were sacrificing. You knew that no sacrifice was too great. That is why you are getting the Medal of Honor. Horton is showing up here along with one of the Generals, I just know that you’ll be getting the Medal the day we leave to get on the ships when the war is over. In front of everyone,” I gulped, looking at my lap. This was all happening so fast. Was the war being close to ending? I sighed, clutching my lover’s hand. I looked over at him.

“As long as I am with you, Captain Ronald Speirs, I don’t care where I go, what I do, and or what I get, as long as I have you in my life I’m content with life,” I answered. He leaned in and kissed me, tracking his hand up into my hair. I felt his amazing smile against my lips as I brought my hands to his face. I was speaking the truth, as long as I am with him, I was happy no matter what. I could care less if I got that Medal now or in twenty years, I have Ronald. That is way more important to me.

[valkyrie-echo]

Project Echo, Part 3: Chapter 19 (50 Days Before the Explosion)

Part 3 Summary: Seven years after the events of “Part 2”, Avengers Tower explodes, fulfilling Bucky’s vision. All evidence points to Avengers Shadow-Ops leader Inessa Ryker, who is forced to seek out Bucky in hiding. Together they must determine who the traitor is in their ranks and if their friends are still alive- all while trying to survive deadly ambushes orchestrated by Sam Wilson and his hand-picked army.

Chapter 19: 50 Days Before the Explosion

"Noelle, can you come with me for a moment, please?" Steve interrupted Amadeus and his team as they ran yet another round of simulations on the symbols from the Shadow King's blood magic. At this point it was pretty much only them looking. Everyone kept Niflheim and what happened there as an active case, but it was more likely the answers would be found off-realm. With Odin's well-known distaste for the Avengers it wasn't hard to imagine that an answer had already been found- he just wasn't telling. As worried as the leaders were, they had a world to protect, and it was well over a month later. They'd never had an attack this drawn out before.

Amadeus glanced up and fixed the Captain with his coldest glare- his own form of greeting Steve, Vision, and Clint ever since the Leader's Meeting where they'd voted to form a second Black Ops unit. He willfully ignored Natasha and Wanda, who abstained from voting- meaning they agreed with Steve but didn't want to hurt Inessa's feelings. His smiles he saved only for Tony, Thor, Banner, and Sam who'd all sided with Inessa against the idea.

The new Unit couldn't form without the unanimous consent of every Avengers leader (which Steve would never get because Inessa wouldn't budge in her position that it was useless), or an 89% majority of all Avengers. Basically the only way he was getting his new team was to convince every last one of them it was necessary, but if more than four Avengers couldn't be won over then once again he would fail. He'd been speaking with them one-by-one for days, trying to explain that yes, the timing sucked, but they needed to support the Shadow Unit. Let them focus on Inessa and the Shadow King while another Black Ops team protected the world. It divided the teams within each of the four units- and now Steve had the audacity to approach a member of Inessa's group directly.

"Go with him and you're dead to me," Marie glanced up from her computer across from Amadeus in the small root interface of JARVIS' mainframe- a glorified server room that felt more like a claustrophobic closet. She'd never seen him look so cold, or so dead serious. The more Steve pressed his case against Amadeus' friend and leader the less old loyalties mattered.

Steve rolled his eyes, "I've about had it with you Amadeus. Noelle- Captain's orders. Come on."

"Sorry," she shrugged to Amadeus and slid back from her computer. Marie was indifferent on the whole issue. She ignored Steve, Amadeus, and their little feud. She was too new to be loyal to a leader she'd frankly hardly seen and pretty much just followed her lieutenant's orders- right now that meant running down leads on blood magic… Even though in reality she was taking advantage of her secluded position and playing Oregon Trail. Amadeus had cholera, Inessa died from exposure, and Noelle was still going strong despite being 65.

"Hey Steve," Amadeus got his attention before he left with Noelle.

"Let me guess, you're going to tell me to shove something up my ass."

"Your head, yes."

"Good talk."

Amadeus sighed dramatically after he left, "Ah Marie, I wish you knew Noelle better before her tragic passing."

"Do I need to start wearing black?" she wasn't paying much attention, but she knew by now to pretend to humor the oddest Avenger.

"No, that's alright, she wouldn't want us to be in mourning forever."

"You leaving lilies in front of her door?"

"Naturally," he cracked his neck and went back to typing away, "by the way- I'm closer to 25 than 20 and you treat cholera with laudanum, not extra fluids."

"How-"

"JARVIS is a tattle-tail," a screen popped up on her game informing her 'Zombie Inessa' had joined the group. Marie was fairly positive that wasn't part of the original game, "Do a better job with her this time around."

"I will. I promise."

"Is this about the second Black Ops Unit?" Noelle had followed Steve up to his apartment where his lieutenant, Sharon, was waiting. The Tower was boiling with tension, mostly thanks to Steve and his decision to just about ignite a new civil war. Teams were fighting one another at the slightest provocation and Tony's Iron Legion could only do so much to keep the peace. Splitting the teams off back to their satellite facilities would be tantamount to declaring open conflict. Steve hiding out away from the others was probably the only move he had left to make.

"No, but it is about Inessa," Sharon invited Noelle to sit but she remained where she was, "Steve offered leadership to Amadeus because it is the least controversial choice. Promoting a lieutenant is easier for the public and the Avengers to swallow than promoting a general member. Ideally it would be you and Marie on the new team."

"You sent me to Inessa's team because you were worried about her and Amadeus and how they were handling Mallory Ivaneau's death and Eoin O'Meara's betrayal. I'm an Avenger first, Shadow Unit second. I will continue to do what I believe is best for the entire group, not just my team. I won't turn on my leader for power. It only fans the flames." She turned but Steve blocked her way quickly.

"I'm not offering you leadership, we're just saying you were the first choice."

"I'm ambitious, not petty," Noelle was one of the most logically-minded Avengers Steve had ever known- including Tony. He wasn't entirely sure she was human and not another strange AI like Vision. She could read people's intentions, and he only wanted her to know his for sure- in case that mechanical personality did see its pride as being wounded. Geoff swore she was different once you really got to know her. Evidently the four years he'd lived in the same building as Noelle (the first year of that with her on his team) wasn't long enough.

Steve shook his head, "Use your powers. What are my intentions?"

Noelle's face was unreadable, "You've got two things for me. A mission, and a secret."

"Two missions, both secret," Sharon corrected softly. When Noelle was one of them she was still learning the subtle shifts in her powers and needed to be guided when possible.

"No. One mission. One secret. You think they're linked Sharon, Steve isn't so sure."

He glanced to his lover and she nodded, "JARVIS, load Hydra security footage from Project Echo. One of the more mild bits, please." Noelle turned back to face Sharon and the television behind her.

She wasn't one of the Avengers stupid enough to look at the torture footage from Inessa's time with Hydra. The newer ones, ones who didn't know any better, dared each other to watch it. All they knew was that everyone was afraid of it. Few were warned of the brutality. Eventually, though, they all learned the story- well, at least what they thought was the story.

Grainy footage filled the screen of a blindingly bright torture room. The walls and floors were filled with lights- a true shadow-free zone. A plastic table sat in the center of the room and on it was a young Inessa, "Footage from July 27, 2009. Week 47 of Project Echo," a man with a shining metal arm was turning Inessa over, mindful of her feeble struggles to escape. Something was off with the girl's toes and every kick brought forth a squeal of pain, but she kept trying. Noelle knew what it was- they'd been severely broken once upon a time and healed wrong.

I was lucky, she remembered something Inessa had said once upon a time, the body I left was in a pretty shitty state- all busted and gnarled. The Avengers took it in, JARVIS and this surgeon put it back together, and by the time I got to it it was in incredible shape again.

The man's face was too pixelated to see clearly, Noelle couldn't even tell if he was phased by the 15 year-old's feeble cries. Another man was waiting by a metal cart, on top of which was the unmistakable outline of a whip. Noelle knew more about Hydra torture techniques than she'd admit even to Geoff, but between her experience raiding bases and the occasional glimpse of Inessa's bare back in the locker room showers, she could safely bet that whip was studded with metal barbs. A small bowl sat on the tray as well- salt. Once, when Amadeus brought up her past, Inessa had told him her torturer, Thomas Dennisson, liked to extend the pain as long as possible using salt or citrus juice. Whenever the doctors told him he had to give her more than a day to recover he'd have her heavily sedated so that she could never enjoy the respite. It was hard for Noelle to look at the screen, knowing just what all of this meant to Inessa, and especially knowing that this was only halfway through. That girl in the video wouldn't be free for a very long time yet…

"JARVIS, override Echo Alpha, remove the filter," Steve came up next to Noelle as the picture abruptly sharpened to something closer to HD, "The cameras Hydra installed in the halls were shit. Unfortunately for those of us who had to watch this back when Inessa first came to the Tower, Dennisson liked a much better picture. We added the filter later to protect new Avengers from the full horror, should they try to watch without knowing precisely what it is. We were also protecting him," he motioned to the man with the metal arm as he tore open the back of the white shirt Hydra prisoners still wore, "JARVIS, skip the gore, please."

The image jumped. Inessa's body was breathing heavy, but limp. Chunks of flesh torn off by the whip were sprinkled around the room. The metal man, the Winter Soldier who would one day be killed by Steve over the Potomac during the Hydra emergence, was leaning hard against the wall in the corner of the room over a small pool of vomit. Dennisson was now holding the whip in one hand and the empty bowl of salt in the other. He threw both on the table and whistled sharply, glaring at the Soldier.

Two scientists and two guards immediately wheeled a bizarre chair into the room. Noelle recognized it from an Avengers file she'd skimmed in the computer- a programming machine. Brutal and efficient, it zapped the subject with near-lethal amounts of electricity while a small screen over the eye played a "Compliance and Obedience" video. Brainwashing at its worst.

The Winter Soldier was moved into the chair. His metal arm held him to some hidden magnet and the panels descended. While he screamed, Dennisson smiled. It sent chills down Noelle's spine.

"Skip ahead, give us a freeze frame on his face."

The gaunt, dead-eyed man who emerged from the machine a few hours later looked oddly familiar. Big eyes, straight nose, strong jaw- a face more suited to a cocky smile than a stone-cold glare. If the footage wasn't black and white she might have had a harder time guessing, but it jogged something, "He's on the Wall of Remembrance. One of yours."

"James Buchanan Barnes," Sharon nodded, "his picture is next to my Great Aunt Peggy's." Every Avenger facility had a wall of photographs of people near and dear to each Avenger. Some they'd lost, some they'd failed to save, the pictures were on the walls to remind them all what they fought for. Their family outside their team.

"And he didn't die in the Potomac like everyone thinks. The Winter Soldier went in, Bucky Barnes pulled me out."

"Amadeus was right?"

Steve glanced to Sharon, "Amadeus has been repeatedly warned to keep his mouth shut," he looked at Bucky's face a moment longer and sighed, sad, "He joined us on the condition we find Inessa. His programming was breaking, but she'd been locked in the Valley too long. She couldn't find purchase here, so she whispered in his mind until it about drove him insane…"

"We never lied," he continued, "the battles against the Shadow, the fight against Dennisson, Hydra, Sebastian Morris and his cabal- it's like those pictures in Inessa's living room. The first and fourth photographs- pull them out of the frames some time and you'll see they're just folded specially to hide him. He was an Avenger for about seven or eight months."

"Steve couldn't face his demons," Sharon took over, "but Bucky wanted to. After the battle with the cabal he went into hiding- maybe until he got things under control, maybe forever. He hasn't been seen since."

Noelle's power flared, "You want me to find him. He's the secret you think is a mission."

"Bucky had these visions, three of them," Steve explained, "in each one Avengers Tower was destroyed. In the last one he saw Sam attempting to carry out an execution order against Inessa for the deaths of myself, Tony, Banner, Thor, Clint, and Natasha- the original Avengers. Bucky's had a lot of experience as a ghost, but I need to talk to him. He sent himself away to find peace and flush out Hydra's Winter Soldier, but with the Shadow King's blood magic, Ingvir's death, the disappearances, and Inessa's new issues with her powers I'm worried. I need to know more about what he saw, if he's seen anything else, and if we're anywhere near the timeline in his visions."

"Why not ask Muhammad? He's the first person that comes to mind with the power to send something like that."

"He will probably send them, yes," Sharon corrected, "but if he'd seen something yet he would tell Thor. We can't ask him and risk an Ouroborous, even a small one."

"My mission is to monitor Inessa," Noelle predicted, "the second is to find Barnes again. Neither of you really think that will help."

Steve nodded, "We need to know if the blood magic is turning Inessa into the woman from Bucky's vision, and he's in the best position to make that call. We're not finding him to extend a membership offer, only to confirm or eliminate a theory."

Sharon stood up and came over to Noelle, "Inessa always has had a perfect distinction of James and the Winter Soldier. She supported his decision to leave. After Steve's breakdown," she spared a sympathetic glance to her lover, "she became downright protective of the man. Steve felt like he'd been forced into this life, James had been. To him his work with the Avengers was more like an extension of what he did for Hydra, just pointed at a different target. She made sure no one knows where he is so that he can be free of it all. She's doing her best to make that happen."

"He's had a lifetime of experience in hiding," Steve continued, "he didn't come to my funeral, he probably hid himself away somewhere so remote he doesn't even know Thanos existed. If anyone is going to find him, it has to be a Black Ops member, and of those we can only trust you to actually retrieve him. In the meantime, yes, we want you to watch Inessa. Look for any signs her judgement is impaired. It's nothing unconscionable, just be a vigilant friend."

Noelle considered it, "Watch her and find him, is that all?"

"We wouldn't ask you to do anything against either," Sharon assured her.

"I have a duty to keep the Avengers safe," Steve prompted, "I'll do what I can for Inessa, and I'll keep my friends safe from her. When Bucky told us about his visions I wasn't willing to listen. I'd just watched him squeeze the head off of an unarmed Dennisson and though it wasn't confirmed at the time I knew he'd killed Inessa's uncle. Someone, probably a future version of Muhammad, was trying to warn us against something. I need to know what Bucky knows, and this time I'm ready to pay attention."

"One condition."

"Name it."

Noelle sighed, "Make peace with Inessa. It isn't good for the Avengers as a whole, you two at one another's throats."

Steve shook his head, "I can't make that promise without knowing what's coming."

"At least stop talking about a second Black Ops unit."

He looked tired, but he shook her hand, "That's an easier promise to make."

"Nessa, I need to grab something from your apartment."

"JARVIS, let Noelle in. Lock up when she leaves." Inessa was still trapped in the hospital wing. Noelle felt a twinge of guilt, using Inessa's trust like this, but she had to know for sure what she was wading into. Pictures one and four…

Inessa's living room was a shrine to the past six years, but the earliest pictures were different. Avengers didn't typically think to chronicle their adventures or time together- especially not in those early days. Initially it was only the Leaders, all living separate lives unless something came up that drew them together. The only reason the Battle of the Shadows had been a group effort was because they happened to be in New York City together when Bucky was brought in. The only reason that happened was because of Thor's appointment to Asgardian Ambassador.

After Inessa returned to her body they all went to Clint's farm. Again, it wasn't meant as anything more than a team vacation after the stresses and strains of New York City (plus, no one was willing to leave Inessa behind, now that they knew there was someone in there). Then Ultron, and the satellite facilities began popping up. Then Thanos and the new Avengers who came in droves.

Picture one was, naturally, among those taken from security footage. It showed the Avengers together in the recovery room after Clint saw the Shadow for the first time. It was the brightest room in the old Tower, and they'd marked it as the best place to be. A surgeon friend of Tony's was visiting to check out Steve, Sam, and Natasha- freshly arrived from their trip to Kazakhstan where they retrieved the Project Echo folder. At least, that was the version she'd been told. The surgeon just happened to be there before Steve went exploring to verify Clint's story and was attacked. The why of his leaving was never particularly clear, but in the security picture Noelle had always thought Steve was looking at something off-frame, worried about some invisible matter.

She pulled that picture from the wall first and quickly removed the backing. Sure enough, the picture was folded over. Noelle pulled the image out and held it up to inspect. Bucky Barnes was lying unconscious on a hospital bed across from where the Avengers sat. His metal arm was gone and the shoulder on his left side was heavily bandaged. He was also in Steve's direct eye-line. Steve had survived his fight with the Shadow by holding onto one of Thor's healing stones- now Noelle wondered if he hadn't been retrieving it when Inessa had first attacked so that it might help his friend.

Picture four was the first of the group shots, this one from Clint's farm. It was the first non-paparazzi group picture of the Avengers Leaders ever taken (though it was minus Wanda and Vision, of course). They were sitting around the fire at Clint's farm- the original format of the Leader's Meeting apparently- fanned out so a group picture could be taken. Their faces were somewhat grim, Inessa had something metallic peeking out from the back of her neck (Noelle asked about it once and never received an explanation for what seemed to be some sort of machine), and Steve's nose had a definite snarl to it. Inessa explained to her it was only a few weeks before the attack by Morris' cabal. Tony had decided they needed a group picture the night before Inessa, Steve, and Sam returned to New York City for her to undergo treatment by undercover cabal member Doctor Madelyn Pryor.

This time Noelle had a good idea of where Bucky was hidden. She removed and unfolded that picture as well. Sure enough what Inessa claimed was the tip of an abandoned shoe next to Tony was attached to someone. Bucky. He was smiling a tense smile on the farthest side of the group as possible from Steve. This picture would help her more in her search- his hair was clean and pushed back, he was awake, alert, and well lit- considering the picture was taken by an Iron Man suit and it was nighttime. Inessa stood in the center of the group, seemingly unafraid of her torturer so close.

Inessa could have cut him from the pictures, easily, but she chose to hide him instead. Steve said she was protective of his freedom from the team- especially after what they went through with Steve in the civil war. She was willing to do whatever it took to keep him out of anyone's hands- Hydra or the Avengers. That might have been what she told herself, but Noelle didn't need her powers to see the intention behind keeping Bucky in the photographs, invisible but still a part of the memory- she couldn't give up hope that he might one day come back. She didn't cut the line or even hide it better- she made a small change that could easily be undone. If he walked through the doors that very day she'd probably come up and unfold the pictures herself. Doctor's orders or no.

"Find what you were looking for?" her voice came through the house speakers, "Amadeus just left to go buy lilies to put in front of your door. He's making the other Avengers sign a 'Sorry you died' card. I'm guessing Steve sent you up?"

"He had some questions about an old case of ours, thought it might tie into one of his."

"I see," Inessa had an odd way of sounding (and looking) like she knew exactly what was going on, "old files are in the middle of the book case in my library."

"Yeah, got it," Noelle quickly put the pictures back together and returned them to their proper places. She noticed a thin line in the paint- maybe nothing, maybe a security mark. Noelle lined both pictures up with the barely visible scratch and headed quickly for the back corner of Inessa's apartment. Most of the books in here were related in some way to her coursework or were simply books she liked to have around- encyclopedias, dictionaries, atlases- she wasn't always a fan of going to the Avenger's library where noisy gatherings were held almost nightly. Besides- the Shadow Unit's case files were all there.

"Bottom left. Inactive cases," Inessa spoke softly, as if she wasn't sure she wanted Noelle to hear, "it's under 'Kochevnik'… The Russian word."

"Nessa-"

"Do me a favor?"

"Yeah," Noelle hung her head and took the file.

"Don't look too hard. No matter how Steve thinks this will end, if he hears something is wrong he'll come back. This life can suck you in and not let go. I chose it, we all chose it, but breaking away… It took a lot for him to leave the first time. Give me a chance to fix this before you pull him back in. Please."

Noelle didn't respond, but Inessa didn't expect her to. She had the file she needed, so she turned and left quickly. Once upon a time Inessa had brought a missing boy back to a village so remote it wasn't even on a map. When she came back to check on him the town was abuzz with the news that a favored monk, believed to be a messenger of god, had vanished in the night just after her last visit. Inessa was intrigued, bored really, so she asked around that village and a few others just as remote. There were four confirmed sightings of him, this wandering Westerner who took shelter in temples and performed little acts of kindness to as many residents as he could manage before moving on again. It was the last temple they'd visited- where they'd learned the man seemed to possess super-human strength and performed feats with only one arm it would take ten men with two to complete in the same amount of time- like chopping firewood for an entire village or hunting large game for starving residents- that killed the case. Inessa brought them back to the Tower, said the man clearly wasn't a threat and the reports of his super human strength were likely exaggerations. The man, no matter where he was, went by the same name- the Kochevnik. The Nomad.

Inessa had as good as confirmed her hunch that perhaps the mysterious man, the buried case Inessa refused to ever discuss again with any of them, might just also be Steve's missing friend.

Nadya stirred first, the others followed soon after. A soft breeze blew through the Valley, but it wasn't her. They'd been despondent since the sky opened and something nearly drew the lost realm back from whatever oblivion it was in to rejoin the Bifrost. Her power still filled the Valley and sparked across the now brilliant blue sky. Until it dissipated, until she opened a path for it to return to her, she would remain weak and lost.

So, if not her, what was knocking?

A crack of thunder sent shockwaves from the heart of the Valley and forced the pack to scatter. In their place appeared two people, or rather pieces of them. A couple of fingers and puddles that just smelled wrong. Part human, part poison and radiation.

Hours passed and more bodies flooded in in varying stages of completion. Around the thousandth time bodies that were at least whole on the outside (though black liquid on the inside) began to appear. The pack became agitated and frightened as the corpses continued to arrive, and Inessa's moods shifted back in Avengers Tower in response (though she had no idea why and attributed it to either kidney failure or PMS).

Nadya alone had been part of the Shadow for the last eleven years, and they didn't have the same abilities or instincts as their Alpha, they were pure instinct. Near the end one of the new arrivals was still alive and, like their mistress, was wreathed in black mist and silver fog. Before Nadya could stop them they set upon the abomination and ripped it to shreds. It wouldn't have survived long anyways, but it was still a creature that should have been protected.

The Alpha had only one option. It was connected to Inessa in a way the others were not, and Nadya had always been able to draw on Inessa's power to open a door and find the girl. She took it as a duty to protect and aid her. From Inessa's own anger and uncertainty when she'd connected with Nadya's mind in the attack on New York the Alpha knew what had to be done, considering the uncertainty and suspicion of the human-cub's allies.

She borrowed that piece of Inessa's mind and, despite the pain it knew the action would cause, it used her to open a door into the Valley. The wolves atop the heap of corpses howled as the lightning high above followed Nadya to Inessa and brought their mistress to full power. Inessa shrieked- more from surprise- when an abrupt burst of pain wracked her body, followed by a sensation disturbingly like having an entire bathtub worth of ice water poured on top of you at once (she knew the feeling thanks to Amadeus and Clint several prank wars ago).

Nadya dove into the shadows of the exam room and came out on the other side of the floor in the equipment storage area. Acting off Inessa's own ever-present link she found the Helius beacons used by the Avengers and began to rip and tear at them one by one. Every Avenger was in the Tower, meaning every beacon was in one place and within minutes they were destroyed. The others wouldn't know now.

4,000 bodies in the Valley. The Avengers could never see, no one could know yet but the mistress. Though, thanks to Inessa, Nadya's instinct had been to preserve the creature that arrived last. The pack was right to destroy it. She had a sense of the others, thanks to the marks that each Avenger bore as a locating beacon. Some didn't trust the mistress' powers anymore, not like they used to.

What would they do if they found out someone, somewhere, was trying to create their own Shadow?

Chapter 20: Not Dead (Yet)