#(its just stupid shit with the dlc its not gameplay spoilers or anything)

[majima-kensetsu]

can someone think of a funny caption for this for me

[savior-of-humanity]

OKAY here are my Thoughts(tm) about The Ancient Gods part II

ALSO: MASSIVE FUCKING SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ANCIENT GODS PART 1 + 2. BE WARNED THIS IS LONG AS FUCK. TL;DR AT BOTTOM.

In terms of the gameplay: I really liked how it played! The combat encounters weren’t downright vicious like in the first DLC, but they still go out of their way to mix things up (i.e a hallway filled with explosive barrels + blood punch pick-ups + Pinkies, or the double-Marauder encounter that you could ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING BUFF JESUS CHRIST) so it was still fun all around.

The new enemies added - the Cyber-Baron/Armored Baron, Riot Zombie/Chaingunner, Screecher Zombie, Stone Imp, and Cursed Prowler - are...okay. I like the idea of new enemy variants based off pre-existing ones but they felt either really fucking frustrating to fight (particularly the Cursed Prowler and Chaingunner) or were very “simple”, I guess. The Stone Imps, in particular, are a variant of Imp that are very resistant to damage unless you use the full-auto mod for the shotgun, in which they drop even more shotgun ammo if they’re killed by that. Other than that they do a Sonic-style spin-dash and slam into you, which can actually knock you off a ledge. Screecher Zombies are basically just mobile hazards that if you accidentally hit, will act like temporary Buff Totems. Cursed Prowler is fucking awful: basically, if it hits you with a projectile, you’ll be cursed with a debuff that keeps you from double-jumping and dashing that also drains your health over time, and you HAVE to kill it with a blood punch in order to remove the curse. Chaingunners are basically just the Shield Zombie Soldiers, but they shoot faster and have an indestructable shield. And finally, the Cyber-Baron: It’s basically a Baron of Hell, but with indestructable armor that can only be destroyed by shooting it’s mace when it flashes green, or by shooting it with plasma. After the armor is gone you have to kill it as fast as you can before the armor is regenerated, repeat until it dies.

Summoner Ghosts and Blood Maykrs also make a return, which is cool.

The Hammer is cool to say the least. I was hoping to see some glory kills with it but considering that it’s primary use is to either clear out groups of small enemies or to stun larger ones like Barons, it makes sense that they’d omit glory kills from it. On top of that, Marauders now have a mechanic (for the entire game, not just the DLC) where when you shoot them as they flash green, they’ll become stunned (though the sound effects are rather corny and cartoonish, even for the game). Using the Hammer on a stunned Marauder will GREATLY extend that stun, which allows you to just fucking shit on them.

I also really liked the grapple-Hookshot points that you had to use to progress in a level. I’m still not really used to how you’re supposed to move in the opposite direction of the point to swing yourself, but the idea is intuitive, fun, and makes me wish it was in the base game and the previous DLC.

My biggest grievances with this DLC, however, is how it handled some of it’s characters, the story, and the new lore that was implemented in the codexes.

So first off: I want to say that while I still appreciate the DLC, that’s honestly only with the gameplay. The story, much less the lore, is fucking stupid to say the least.

To TL;DR the story: It is, quite honestly, bare-bones as fuck. We continue from where we directly left off from the Ancient Gods Part 1: Davoth/The Dark Lord is being summoned into existence and into his physical form, which for some reason looks exactly like Doomguy except with sick tats, glowing red eyes, and a weird implant in his chest. Doomguy, naturally, tries to spawncamp him and shoots him with his super-shotgun, but nothing happens as “no blood can be spilled in this holy place”. Davoth leaves, telling Doomguy that he’ll be waiting for him in the city of Immora, the capitol city at the very center of Hell.

Doomguy goes to Argent D’Nur. He murder-death-kills shit, as per usual. He goes into this big castle where a hologram of Valen is waiting for him. He tells him that he atones for his sins and gives him the Hammer since Doomguy lifted the curse from his son’s soul. He goes to the Torch of Kings and lights it, marking his journey to the giant crystalline spear that impales Argent D’Nur known as the World Spear. Cue cutscene of a bunch of different Argenta people/Night Sentinel seeing the light of the Torch of Kings from all over Argent D’Nur. Internguy tells him that it’s a day’s walk still from the World Spear, and conveniently a very fucking awesome looking Argenta dragon shows up and gives him a ride to the World Spear.

Doomguy gets to a lake that separates him from the World Spear. The Father says “He is worthy” and then a bridge rises out of the water. Doomguy crosses past some big ass Sentinel ghosts/guardians and into the World Spear. Turns out the inside of the World Spear is like some giant, fucked up ship made out of crystal, with weird figures lining the wall and all that: Internguy even says “This isn’t a crystal at all, this is a ship!” This does not get expanded upon whatsoever in neither dialogue or codexes. Doomguy grabs Convenient Power Crystal and leaves.

Doomguy arrives on Earth through a portal, which is looking substantially better than since its invasion. Internguy tells him that a Convenient Ancient Portal close by is the only way to Immora. Doomguy kills shit, arrives at portal, activates it with Convenient Power Crystal, and leaves.

Doomguy arrives in front of a giant wall surrounding Immora. Davoth walks out, wearing a big ass power suit that looks like something straight out of Warhammer 40k. He’s surrounded by guards in cool red armor with cool spears that look very humanoid. He says some shit and a bunch of Hell-ships and demons and titans start showing up. But then surprise! A bunch of portals open up on Doomguy’s side like it’s fucking Infinity War/Endgame all over again and a fuckload of Sentinels start coming out, with mechs and dragons and spaceships. Valen is there. Doomguy and Valen stare at each other for like 5 seconds before Valen says “Let Hell tremble before our might!” or some shit like that. Doomguy fights, gets past the wall, fights some more inside the city. Again, the usual.

I also want to briefly point out that Immora is basically just a Maykr city but red, and that it’s apparently “Hell’s own technology.” Also, the red dudes in armor are actual enemies but the guns they have (the hell-razor from 2016) do piss-poor damage and they die if you so much as breathe on them.

Doomguy finally catches up to Davoth. Davoth monologues about how he’s going to get his revenge and that it’s inevitable, bla bla bla. Fight begins. It’s basically Marauder 2.0 but if he hits you and/or you shoot him at the wrong time he heals a fuckload of health. And also 5 different health bars. After you knock down 2 or 3 of his bars he stops the fight to monologue for some fucking reason? And then shits out a plot twist that surprise, he’s actually the real God, and that the Father betrayed/usurped his power, and that he will “unmake everything by his hand.” Fight resumes. Doomguy eventually beats him. Davoth asks him if he has anything to say before he strikes down his creator. Doomguy takes off his helmet, stabs Davoth in the heart, and says no in his stupid sexy voice. Davoth dies, his life-sphere emerges and then explodes. Doomguy suddenly becomes weak and falls over. The Father says “He created everything in his image, even you.” Doomguy passes out and wakes up to see 3 Seraphim seal him in a sarcophagus like the one from 2016. Fade to black, with the quote “May the blood on your sword never dry, and may we never need you again.” End game, roll credits.

If you hadn’t read any of the codexes while playing the DLC, the story probably makes little to no sense to you whatsoever. But honestly the codexes don’t expand upon things much and, if anything, just fucking make some aspects of the story even more stupid.

The World Spear is implied in the codex that it contains live Wraiths (“A live Wraith has not been seen in centuries, but rumors persist that some yet remain inside the World Spear itself.”), and while the figures in the World Spear could be Wraiths, absolutely nothing is said about them out of three Codexes related to the level, which honestly just makes me wonder the point of adding this stuff if you don’t even give a single sentence of why the interior of the World Spear is Like That.

The codex entries related to Earth are basically uninteresting as they’re pretty much just “humanity is rebuilding and views doomguy as a hero”. There is one about the Convenient Ancient Portal (Gate of Divum) but all it really says is that it was built and used by the Father to access Immora. Nothing about why it’s on Earth, or anything interesting like that.

However, the real bullshit comes in when we start to look at the codex entries related to Immora and Davoth.

So, Immora is the central - and oldest - city in Hell. It’s described as such: “Once a paradise at the dawn of creation, Immora now survives as a stronghold where the Dark Lord resides. Sustained now by the essence of Hell's victims, the people of Immora experience life eternal. Regular infusions of Hell energy have prevented them from transforming into the demons found outside the boundaries of the city. Ancient technology defends Immora from invaders, the high walls impenetrable to those who would bring harm to the last people of the first world.“

Yeah. So not only did Hell have high-tech technology all this time, but also the red guys in armor? Those are Immorans. Which is weird to me, because if Hell had this super advanced technology that’s also ancient, and thus around for a long time, why the hell are we only seeing it now?

Also, surprise! Turns out the Book of Seraphs is a complete fucking lie according to the very first codex entry related to Davoth! (”Our research shows that Maykr history and lore holds truths that are not consistent with passages found in the Hell Priest texts, revealing the true origins of Hell and all surrounding dimensions. This revelation would explain why Hell is the single dimension that connects to all others, and why it is the oldest in existence - the first world.”)

The real truth is that Davoth is the real Creator/God, and that Jekkad was the very first realm, not Urdak. He still sought immortality for his people, so he created the Maykrs to figure it out for him. They did, but decided it would be too dangerous to give Davoth that information, so they basically said “fuck you” and sealed Jekkad/Davoth while re-writing their own records to hide the truth. Obviously, this pissed off Davoth. So much so that he basically became super angry and emo and became the Dark Lord from all the vengeance and hatred (which also turned Jekkad into Hell.)

Another surprise! Turns out that Davoth had a hand in the creation of the fucking Doom Slayer! Because he wanted to get revenge against the Maykrs, he started to manipulate a bunch of people while he was trapped as a life sphere I guess. He started with the Khan Maykr, convincing her that there was a “chosen one” who would threaten her rule and thus making her paranoid as fuck. He then guided her into creating the Divinity Machine using a fragment of himself that had been sealed in Urdak. Then he manipulated Samur, by convincing him that “the Khan Maykr will lead us all to ruin.” He was then controlled and compelled to release a stranger from his prison (Doomguy) and empower him using the Divinity Machine.

As you can probably guess, he got his revenge since Doomguy would go on to utterly fuck Urdak/the Khan Maykr (as well as Samur), and ever since he knew that his “Beast” would come for him.

Listen. I don’t really mind the idea of Doomguy being used or even manipulated by different godly powers. Or even Davoth being the real God or whatever. But this new lore and story just feels... really sloppy and poorly executed, especially since it directly conflicts with the fucking base game. If he manipulated the Khan Maykr and wanted revenge against her, then why did he scream “NOOOOOO!” when Doomguy killed her?

And, if anything: Why the fuck does Davoth even look like Doomguy in the first place? Is it some form of mockery? Or did id just decide to fucking retcon the Doom Slayer being the same person as the Doomguy from Doom 1/2 with the Father’s line of “He created everything in his image -- even you.”

And, on top of that, the DLC just left more open questions than answers: what the fuck happened to Samur, since he isn’t even so much as mentioned beyond the codexes? Who is the Wretch, the being who had supposedly forged Doomguy’s armor back in 2016? What is the fate of Earth/Hell/Urdak/Argent D’Nur after the Slayer’s victory? What the fuck happened to the Demonic Crucible, the one from 2016? What about the ARC Carrier and the Fortress of Doom?

Finally, Valen, Internguy and the Father should’ve been far more involved in the story beyond just being either convenient voices telling you convenient stuff or (in the case of Valen) being a convenient guy to give you convenient weapon that also conveniently shows up with a giant army that doesn’t actually do anything but look cool in the skybox.

TL;DR The new lore and story of the DLC is basically garbage, and since I highly doubt id will change it I’m going to completely disregard it, write my own, and also take up Davoth as a muse because it seriously pissed me off that much.

[silverwhisp]

I’ve Completed KH3 And I Have Thoughts.

I have finished KH3 short of the side stuff like the ultima weapon, classic kingdom, gummi ship stuff, battle portals and the cooking. I have some thoughts. First off, I loved this game allot. I only have a couple of complaints gameplay wise and three story wise but all in all, I loved every minute of this game. For those who don’t want to read everything I’d give the game a solid 8.5/10. It was amazing but a few small flaws and the three story issues I had made me bring the score down. First I will discuss the issues cause I feel that’s what one should do when critiquing art. I will offer solutions where I can. 

I will discuss my gameplay complaints first.

The manual lock on is ass while the auto lock on is decent. I almost never used the manual lock on due to the fact it can just drag the camera where ever it wanted. Especially if enemies start flying. This is largely due to how often you spend in the air while in combat. The auto lock is good though and doesn’t seem to change targets unless you make it or bump into another enemy. The manual lock is good for human sized bosses though. Short of making the camera tighter this may not be able to be fixed.

The game is to damn easy. I had this issue in BBS and DDD after I got to level 30 and beyond. The game becomes easy even on proud. This is largely due to bad enemy health scaling. They still can hit damn hard and enemies like the Ice Dragon still are dangerous. But since the enemy’s health and defense don’t scale up better the game becomes real easy after level 40. I don’t doubt they will patch in a critical mode which may be a better way to play this game. Just better enemy scaling would fix this problem.

That’s all my gameplay complaints now for story ones. SPOILERS will be discussed so leave while you can.

The game has bad pacing in the Disney worlds. Some like Olympus, Toy Box, San Fransokyo and Kingdom Of Corona have great pacing while Monstropolis is meh and ones like Pirates and Arendelle were just awful. Why are you cheering for Anna and Elsa Sora? You didn’t do anything you turd. This could have been fixed if they added intervals in between all the worlds to reset the pacing and if they just followed the movies from start to finish in their entirety instead of jumping around.

Twilight Town is more of a bus stop then a world. They should have made it bigger and included old areas to explore. Even an expanded sewer system would have been fun. No story reason needed it just exists. Oh well.

These next issues ARE MAJOR SPOILERS so leave now if you don’t want to be spoiled.

What the fuck is Nomura’s issue with writing a good arc for Kairi? I mean they set her up to be training to become a bad ass and we don’t get to see either the training or a decent fight scene. We fight with her once, she gets kidnapped, and then fucking dies!? I’m starting to think Nomura doesn’t know how to write female characters. That may be one of the reasons they dropped him from FF Versus XIII since females had big roles in the story. He fucked Kairi over and made her the least likable and cared about character in the fucking finale of this Saga to me. What the hell? This alone may actually get me to start my own series on something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Jesus. The death isn’t the issue its that there was no build up for her.

The last story complaint is a small one. I saw Sora’s “death” coming since death seemed to be a theme in allot of the world’s we went to. Flynn, Anna, Jack, and Tadashi were or are dead at some point. Even Young Xehanort hinted at it when he said, “There is a high price to pay for wielding such power recklessly (...) There is no saving you.” The issues I have with the “death” of Sora is that it means nothing. Nomura said he will be the protagonist for the foreseeable future. If he didn’t say that then the death would be okay. The main complaint about this is the final scene on Destiny Islands where everyone sees Kairi and Sora but Sora just gets Thanos’d. That shouldn’t have been in there. There are two scenarios that would work way better than that one in my eyes.

One: Everyone is just looking out to the sea and the music goes quiet. All you can hear is the sounds of the waves and it zooms to Riku and he just smiles.

Two: Same thing but Kairi comes from the ocean in tears and Riku helps her up. They all look at her and she shakes her head. Everyone gets solemn until Riku chuckles. He smiles and says, “That knuckle head always getting into trouble. He’ll be back. Even if I have to drag him home.”

Maybe its stupid but if you removed the scene where Sora turns into smoke or whatever, the ending would have allot more impact.

Those are all my complaints for the game. Like I said solid overall but with a few issues that could easily be fixed.

Now for the stuff I loved about the game. Gameplay Is First

All the worlds were so much damn fun to explore. I easily spent and extra couple hours in each just looking around for chests, emblems, Easter eggs, and ingredients. Even Pirates was fun and I was worried it’d be gimmicky due to the ship mechanic but nope it was so much fun. The only one that was less fun was Monstropolis but since it takes place in a factory its okay. It seemed more into hidden paths than open places which is fine.

I haven’t had that much fun with a combat system since playing as Vergil In Devil May Cry 4 Special edition and that’s saying something. His combat was so smooth and easy to experiment with I didn’t think it could be beat but KH3′s comes close with transformations and grand magic. The attractions are a bonus though I didn’t use them allot. There wasn’t a need at later levels.

Thank god for combo cancelling with dodges and slides. Against the Gigas, which are the only enemies that pose a threat now, its a god send.

Flowmotion is fun to use and not over powered like in DDD. No more spamming air slam at early levels.

The party members all feel useful. Not many died in combat and seemed smart enough to back off when they’re in danger. Donald also heals based on need versus what he did before. Like if I was out of magic and potions he would heal me over goofy even if we had similar amounts of health.

There wasn’t a single boss I didn’t like short of Dark Baymax since it felt so slow. Skoll is now my favorite heartless design finally surpassing the Wyvern from Kingdom Hearts 1.

That’s all for gameplay since I could go on and on.

Now for story stuff. SPOILERS INCOMING! All the original story stuff for the KH characters was amazing. Anti-Aqua’s theme was so heartbreaking and beautiful and what she said as we fought made me feel like shit even though it was Mickey’s fault for leaving her there. Vanitas’ voice is god like and his scenes are so good. Him calling Ventus and Sora a brother to him makes sense yet unsettled me with the tone he used. ALL OF THE TRIO’S BEING REUNITED!!! I cried when Xion, Roxas and Axel hugged and cried. I was so happy they got to be together. Aqua’s reunion with Terra and Ven was also beautiful. Xehanort’s story beats were great and the man they got to replace the late Leonard Nimoy is amazing. Sounds more sickly and dying like he should at this point. The twist where Terranort wrecks everyone before we go back into time was a fucking shock and amazing. THEN LINGERING WILL SHOWING UP! The voice for Lingering will was amazing. DONALD’S ZETAFLARE HOLY SHIT! All the foreshadowing of Sora’s “Death” or “Disappearance.” Death was talked about allot and Young Xehanort even said Sora couldn’t be saved since Sora uses the power of waking so recklessly. All the Disney characters who met organization members being sick of their shit before they even talk. Woody especially. “I bet you’ve never been loved.” and “That makes you more hollow than any toy.” My son I am so proud. All the instagram style posts were so cute. The epilogue was mind blowing. I knew that sarcastic sniper knew way more than he let on but him being Luxu was a fucking shock. Amazing. And the secret ending seems to be hinting that Sora’s been given a second chance in the form of The Reaper game from TWEWY. Either its going to be DLC which Nomura said if he did decide to do he’d do free stuff and/or one big dlc that adds to the experience in a big way or the next game opens with The Reaper Game. Riku being in Verum Rex is interesting to me. Maybe he realizes Sora isn’t in the realm of light and after talking with Goofy and Donald he learns of Verum Rex and how Sora was tossed in so he goes looking for him there. And finally the Master of Masters looking at the moon and forming a heart with his hands. Is he looking for a new plain of existence for everyone to live on but before he can move people there it needs a new Kingdom Hearts? And is that what’s in the box? I’m excited to see. All in all I love the game and would recommend it to people who want a good JRPG.

8.5/10

[curriebelle]

Episode Ignis Feels Like Fanfiction and That’s a Good Thing

Ok so I’m having a Thought.

You know when people say something reads “like fanfiction”, and it’s meant to be a criticism? The phrase is one of those intangibles, one of those agreed-upons, where no one can define it quite accurately but everyone thinks they know what it means. Usually it’s a combination of deviation from the original tone, bleaching out character flaws and complexities, a lack of understanding of nuance, and a reverent or worshipful attitude towards old characters, moments, settings, and iconography (and iconography is just the Stuff. Star Wars iconography is lightsabers, wookies and Jedi robes).

That’s a pretty reductive description of fanfiction of course, because a lot of fanfic - whether it’s well or poorly written - doesn’t necessarily follow those patterns. Weirdly enough, saying a sequel or reboot reads “like fanfiction” often implies that the writer doesn’t understand something about the source material - that they’re oversimplifying, or they’re fanning about while failing to understand what a “good” sequel would actually require. And that’s pretty ironic, because fans - obsessive detail-hoarding, secondary-character-worshipping pastiche-crafters that they are - often know the source material better than anyone, sometimes better than the creators themselves, and they are very aware of what they are erasing or changing when they move Marvel into a fluffy coffee shop AU. 

But I’m kind of digressing, because my point is that “this feels like fanfiction” shouldn’t be seen as a criticism, but rather as a gut feeling that we need to unpack. Sometimes it leads to legitimate criticism that, while worth addressing, actually has very little to do with fanfiction. And sometimes it leads to this weird 4:30 am conclusion: Episode Ignis is when “this feels like fanfiction” should be deployed as a compliment. Spoilers onward, for both Episode Ignis and FFXV.

I’m talking specifically about the alternate ending, here, which is tantamount to an FFXV fix-it fic. In this version Ignis averts the tragic ending of FFXV, and though he prepares to sacrifice his own life to do so, it ends up costing nothing. Ignis survives with even prettier hero-scarring than he gets in the regular plot. The episode fills in a sizable story gap after Leviathan knocks Noct out, and closes a few additional plotholes (I wondered what happened to that one obnoxiously overdesigned Imperial guy: turns out Ravus stabbed him). It spends some time with likable characters (Ardyn, yeeee) and underdeveloped characters (again, Ravus). Ignis gets roughed up and drenched, loses the glasses, and I’m 90% sure the animators made his eyes bigger in the cutscenes for extra pretty. He gains maximum plotline power, and Adam Croasdell voice acts the shit out of some sassy comebacks and anguished screaming (ok, this is unrelated, but when he’s doing the regular stormbind combo, it sounds like he screams FUCK in one of his battle grunts and it makes me laugh every time). He can liberate Altissia more or less by himself, and that’s before he drives a goddamn speedboat away from pursuant megarobots. So for anyone calling Mary Sue, yes, Ignis dives headfirst into that. He basically becomes Magic James Bond.

The whole episode is also pretty blatantly queer-coded. We get a very cuddly flashback to kid Noctis, and Ignis’s vow to stand at his side. Ignis is monomaniacal when it comes to finding Noctis. Noctis eiher drops the l-word, referring directly to Ignis and the freshly fridged Lunafreya (I’m still salty about that one, sorry), or says Ignis will always be in his heart depending on the ending. There’s a fantastic gifset going around of the official couples in previous Final Fantasies (Squall and Rinoa, Tidus and Yuna) declaring the exact same thing Ignis does in the alternate ending. “Rinoa, even if the world turns on you, I’ll be your knight”. “There’s no way I’ll let Yuna go”, even if I have to break all the rules of your stupid religion. Even if it costs my own life, I won’t let you take Noctis away. The queer subtext here is one of those things where it’s purposefully vague - just enough emotional evidence and physical contact that you can read romantic feelings there if you want, but just short of an actual romance to leave interpretations open. If you’re convinced Noctis and Luna were in love, Episode Ignis probably won’t debunk that.

So Ignis and his Episode are both powerful, emotional, pretty, potentially kinda gay, and ridiculously awesome.

And honestly, it is phenomenal.

Episode Ignis is a blast to play. His combat style is very fun and quick and fluid and flashy, and the grappling hook in the first portion makes you feel superheroic. Killing Ardyn, meanwhile, makes you feel godlike. It is an incredible surge of adrenaline to take on armies and deities by your lonesome. The gameplay and narrative reflect each other here, just like they do in the base game. FFXV seems happy at first, and the combat is pretty entertaining with all the goofy combo-attacks, but that game is a tragedy. It’s all the more tragic by how fun it is to begin with, and by the end it is painful to play. Characters get older, places fall apart, people die, and you have to escort Ignis around for a chapter while he grows used to being blind and Gladio constantly bitches at you for walking too fast. The photo mechanic is introduced to break your heart later, to show you how fleeting youth and pleasure can truly be under backbreaking destiny.

And in retaliation, Episode Ignis thrives on the power of Fuck You. Long commutes by car, mundane in the moment but peaceful upon reflection decades later? Fuck You, I have a grappling hook. Sections that force you to walk slowly through a dungeon and think about what you’ve done? Fuck You, I’ve got two daggers, lightning teleportation and button-mashing hands. Musings about the ravages of time, and aching nostalgia for youth? Fuck You, Ignis is prettier than ever. A tragic ending pre-ordained by prophecy? Fuck You, Ignis is going to re-write that fate by being clever, patient, and brave enough to sacrifice his life, but double Fuck You, he gets to live as well. Bullets flying, health bar low, multiple explosions and Atlas Ripped decking airships in the background? Fuck. You. It’s time to make some fucking soup.

With all that in mind, it makes sense that people might accuse Episode Ignis of being tone-deaf, of being fanfiction in all the “bad” ways - it neglects the nuance of the original, and papers over complex themes so everything can end up hunky-dory, but I still think that’s too easy.

Here’s the thing: Episode Ignis can only exist as fanfiction - or as alternate-ending DLC, I guess. FFXV is the story of Noctis and his story has an ending and it’s horribly, horribly sad, but it’s also what the story is built around. You might find it too depressing or too grim or you might find it just right, but it is well-structured. FFXV is careful with its themes and patterns and foreshadowing.

Because of that care, Ignis screwing Ardyn’s plans out of whack and saving Noctis from his fate couldn’t occur in the main game. FFXV is not about Ignis. It’s about Noctis. And the gameplay, built as it is around creating nostalgia - photographs, long car rides, camping, friendship - wouldn’t work if the ending wasn’t agonizing enough to make you long for the good old days. Maybe Noctis didn’t have to die or maybe he did, but the ending of FFXV was always going to hurt.

FFXV is an emotional project, and that project is to make the player painfully nostalgic. With that intriguing goal achieved, Episode Ignis exists as a response, and it can never really be more than that. It’s an ending I like better, but it is an alternate ending.

If you think about it, Episode Ignis didn’t need that alternate ending. It could have existed perfectly well as a companion to FFXV, filling in a much-needed blank (and without the alternate ending that’s exactly what it does). But in making a response to FFXV instead, they challenged a lot of assumptions FFXV needed to make in order to tell its story. FFXV assumes its prophecy is the only answer, as do its characters. FFXV yanks a great deal of agency away from Ignis, Prompto and Gladio when it asks them to sit still for a decade and wait for their friend to die without hunting for an alternative

Why can’t they try something else? Why can’t they defeat their nemesis on their own terms? I mean, who the heck does Bahamut think he is, anyway? Who says the ending can’t be happy, and the future can’t be bright?

Those are exactly the questions a fanfiction writer would ask. FFXV created those questions, and Episode Ignis addresses them, but in a way that acts as more of a breach than a closure. It’s one route to a happy ending - so maybe there are more. This is also the reason I brought up the queercoding in Episode Ignis. If there is any genre that needs a complete overhaul from grimdark tragedy into happy endings, it’s the scourge that is the modern queer romance story. There are so many of those bloody stories ending in anguish or separation or suicide or displeasure, and not nearly enough fairytales. Having a tragic ending overturned by the power of queer love is an insanely empowering experience, and that’s probably why you see so many posts about how Ignis’s gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day. Episode Ignis didn’t need its queercoding any more than it needed its alternate ending, but the two make sense together: both of them are stories that people are absolutely aching for.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anything quite like this - a company actively revising their story, overturning its mood, questioning its plot, granting a completely different ending, and then asking fans to pay 6.99 for it. It’s different from alternate film endings, because those are DVD extras and one always wins the theatrical release. It’s different from re-imaginings or adaptations because Episode Ignis is...just not quite that. It can’t exist on its own, unlike most remakes. Video games are always fluid texts to a certain extent, but now developers are even relinquishing the solidity of lore and cutscenes. It’s so odd.

At the decision point of Episode Ignis, you can use R1 and L1 to flip the camera back and forth, moving between a shot of Ardyn and a shot of Ignis. It’s a tiny, insignificant moment, one that almost feels like a mistake - like maybe the developers couldn’t figure out how to stage a normal shot-reverse-shot. But that moment became an oddly powerful synecdoche for what Episode Ignis was to me. If you want to look at this story from a different angle, well, go for it. Here’s another place you can point the camera. Maybe the sun will rise over there too.

[terryblount]

Far Cry: New Dawn Review

Far Cry: New Dawn is the latest installment in a series that recently turned fourteen years old. New Dawn is not a DLC; it might be considered as an expansion of Far Cry 5 since it continues that story but I think a sequel is a better word to describe it.

I am amazed the game does not have little ponies.

Far Cry was one of the best FPS (first person shooters) that mixed action with stealth and while the first game was a pretty realistic shooter with a sci-fi twist, the rest did not follow in its footsteps. Far Cry 3 and Primal had some supernatural nonsense (this one does as well) but nothing close to the sci-fi elements that were introduced in the first game. I honestly enjoyed every game until Far Cry 4. After FC4, though, I reached my limits mainly due to the lack of creativity. Ubisoft tried to change things with FC5 and it did, though those changes were not enough to make the game feel fresh or interesting (at least they removed the towers).

“Problem makers must be solved. So rabbits, are you problem makers or problem solvers?” – One of the twins right before bashing someone’s head with a helmet.

These are the twins, so instead of having one boring villain now you get two in the price of one!

Since Vaas (“You are so fucked Jason”), no main villain really made an impact on me. The story was always an important part of the Far Cry games and without a solid antagonist the story, usually, falls flat. Of course no matter how cool Vaas was, the gameplay evolution of the third game is what made Far Cry what it is today (and in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I love stealth games).

Oh dear God please do not remind me of that music.

Even today, I believe that Far Cry has the perfect stealth mechanics in any FPS game. Not only that, but with each new iteration the Far Cry series only becomes better. Unfortunately though even if the gameplay has always been good, most of the other parts were not so much. I thought the fifth game will be the end of the series but, apparently, I was mistaken. I was also surprised as I thought New Dawn would be a glorified crappy pink re-skin (since it hasn’t even been a year since the release of Far Cry 5). Looks like it wasn’t – or at least not as much as I initially thought – and to be honest, I liked it in spite of all the pink crap (even if it does make the game feel like it was built for little girls!). Seriously, the pink colour is frigging everywhere! I did not like the game as much as Blood Dragon which, in my opinion, was amazing – and I am still hoping for a sequel – but New Dawn is better than Far Cry 5.

“If I wasn’t blind as fuck I would have joined the fight” –Grace Armstrong, probably the best sniper in Far Cry 5 but not anymore.

For the sake of spoilers I am only going to say that the game continues exactly where the fifth game ends (or to be more precise from a specific ending since there was more than one). Seventeen years after the incident people resurface and start to rebuild the world. A group of ruthless murderers called the Highwaymen, led by the twins Mickey & Lou, terrorize the inhabitants of Hope county in Montana (I get it’s a catchier name but why not Highwaywomen since most of them are women? I mean even the leaders are women. Just a thought).

“Are you ready to go so fast that your pubes will pull back and tickle your asshole?” – The Monkey God’s faithful servant Hurk right before handing me the keys of his deadly car.

After the near complete annihilation of the safe haven Prosperity, Carmina Rye (the daughter of Nick & Kim Rye from FC5) asks survivors lead by Thomas Rush to help them. Since Rush is helping to rebuild communities all across the country, with the help of experts he has recruited over the years. Shit hits the fan very soon though and a full frontal assault begins at the train where Rush and the rest of his people are using for transportation. That’s where you take the role of the captain of the security who, minutes after the attack, rushes in to save his people. Unfortunately, everyone dies and Rush gets captured. The captain as the sole survivor is being found by Carmina who leads him to Prosperity and the fight against the Highwaymen begins.

Don’t even ask! Seriously just don’t.

The story is nothing special but certainly more “believable”  and enjoyable than what we got in Far Cry 5, though most characters – with a few exceptions – are nothing extraordinary. While there is a comedic tone here and there, the actual story is rather serious. I mean, it is a survival game so how fun can it be right? Speaking of which, if you could adjust some things, remove some others and put zombies in the mix, this could easily pass as a “The Walking Dead” game (which could have been better than the one we recently got). I also do not know why Ubisoft chose to, once again, go with the silent protagonist (maybe it is the RPG elements which Ubisoft tries to put in every single bloody game it makes but more on that later) but for me it’s getting tiresome; this is not a sandbox RPG for the love of god.

“Lollypop lollypop, you are going to eat dirt lollypop” – Little girl outside the arena before I enter with the fight name Lollypop.

The voice acting is pretty good but the lip-syncing is not always that great. Moreover, most of the characters from the previous game return in this one. The main antagonists, the twins, are OK I guess. They are “psychotic” and “logical” with extremely violent tendencies and without showing any kind of empathy or sorrow, however they are not very menacing or scary and their looks do not fit their characters. As such, they become a bit forgettable.

Yap, this is where I found the naked guy.

I mean, take a look at Vaas. His looks matched his personality almost perfectly (he could be psychotic and insane while at the same time he could be funny and clever) and most importantly there was a serious reason for you to fear him and hate him at the same time (I think the writing was better as well). The twins failed to emotionally engage me with their personalities/looks as I basically didn’t really care or worry for anyone except for Rush. Even so, there is a part  involving the twins that I really liked though it becomes forgettable rather quickly (if you’ve played the game, you understand the part I’m referencing). I do not want to spoil anything more but I have to say that some of the returning characters make much more sense in this world rather than the one that Far Cry 5 was based on.

“Loot them but do not defile them” – Father Jerome while I am going through someone’s pockets.

Visually speaking, the game looks just as good as Far Cry 5, and some may say that it performs a bit better than it. The only performance issues I’ve encountered were some random stutters (from time to time) and, for some odd reasons, the subtitles kept resetting whenever I was launching the game. Other than these two minor issues, though, New Dawn ran fine on my system. For more details on performance please read John’s analysis.

Well terrorizing and killing innocents is hard work, he deserves a break, a permanent one.

Music and sound are fine. There are some audio glitches though they occurred rarely, but Christ the music playing at the outposts is frigging horrific. Terrible, just terrible (no wonder why all the highwaymen are losing their fucking minds after listening to it). Thankfully, there is another radio station that plays classics and although I am not a big fan of that genre, it sounds heavenly better than the other station.

I told you BOY, you are not allowed to play with grenades before dinner! Now go eat your veggies and come back to teach you how to politely stab people in the face!

Now let me address the elephant in the room  – not actual elephants like in FC4 as there aren’t any ride-able animals this time – the RPG elements. Yes, Ubisoft did implement some of the changes/features we saw in games like The Division or AC: Odyssey. Unfortunately, Ubisoft keeps copying and pasting stuff to every game it makes, even if these elements do not fit in specific titles. What it doesn’t seem to understand is that New Dawn’s lasting appeal won’t be extended by adding them, and that all of its latest games look alike and/or play the same. In reality, what these RPG elements actually do is make the game boring and repetitive as hell, and I’m certain that no one wants unnecessary grinding that does not come with, at least, worthy rewards. Also, I find it really stupid – in a Far Cry game – to shoot an enemy 100 times in the face so that you can kill him/her, just because he/she is one or two levels higher than you; it’s bullshit.

That crap is all over the place so that’s why we call her Glitchy Gina, she doesn’t like that as you can see.

“I always hated that motherfucker” – Gina after shooting some random highwayman.

I do get that some people like this but it makes no sense to me in this particular series. But hey, at least you can turn off the damage numbers and enemy health bars, thus making it a bit more tolerable.  Thankfully, I did not rush the main story and all the missions I completed were on the same level I was, so I never had to shoot someone in the face more than once (or maybe twice if they wore a helmet). On the other hand, I had a couple encounters with some mutated animals which could only be killed by shooting specific parts of their bodies.

Even the god damn fire is pink…the bodies?! What bodies? No, there are no bodies here.

The shooting is – as always – pretty good and the non-restrictive cover system works, once again, great. The melee combat is also solid and I do appreciate the return of the knife take-downs. Actually, these may be the best take-down animations I have seen in a Far Cry game. You can use numerous melee weapons like bats, pipes and shovels but all the stealth take-down sequences feature a knife. As for the advertised new weapon, the saw-launcher, it is cool but I stopped using it the moment I realized there is still no gore or dismemberment in the game.

“Go sinner, with our blessing and hope” – Leader of the hunters before I go burn everything to dust .

Stealth, as usual, is great but some parts felt a bit weird since you can now move the camera while doing take-downs and using skills like the chain take-downs (which worked perfectly in the previous games but did not this time around or maybe I was doing something wrong which I doubt since I have played extensively all of the previous Far Cry games). By the way, I will never understand why you throw a bat instead of a knife when you do the advanced take-down.

This nice old lady is a killer, she might not look the part but she is, trust me.

Instead of a skill tree you now have perks, just like FC5. You earn perk points by doing challenges like killing ten enemies with a handgun. After a specific part of the main story you get access to some new perks which I found unnecessary. Honestly, if I knew what these silly perks exactly did, I would had never unlocked them, though that’s a personal opinion as I am almost certain that some people will like them.

He seriously expects me to take the apple?! I am no Snow White father, oh wait wrong book.

Weapons customization is completely gone. All weapons are pre-made and there is no way for you to make any modifications no matter the weapon you choose. To be honest, I didn’t really mind that very much. However, I was really annoyed by the newly introduced weapon rarity level system. Due to this system, players will need a level X weapon to kill a level X enemy as anything below that feels like a water-gun. At least almost every weapon feels unique and has different stats.

“You will be the Shepard of my people” – Joseph Seed.

Surprisingly enough. there are no fetch missions or annoying side-quests in New Dawn. All of the side content is tied to the main story. I am truly amazed that there isn’t any of Ubisoft’s classic fetching crap flooding the map. Speaking of the map, it is smaller than before and most of the surrounding areas are radioactive (thus impassible). Furthermore, Ubisoft did something interesting with the outposts this time around. In the previous Far Cry games, players could liberate outposts and after that they could use them as resupply centers and/or fast travel points. This time if you capture an outpost, you can abandon it and the enemy will take it back from you. You can then re-capture it though it will be much harder as enemies will be tougher (though the rewards will also be better).

The Cap after a bloody fight taking over an outpost. I wonder who cleans all the mess he leaves behind.

The most important currency in the game is Ethanol (which translates to power fuel) and Prosperity, being your home-base, needs several things to expand and grow. You can upgrade many parts of Prosperity, like the infirmary or the garage, and you need Ethanol in order to upgrade them (which you get mainly by capturing outposts). There are three upgrade stages, with each stage providing different bonuses. The only thing that needs more resources than Ethanol, so that it can be further upgraded, is the main building (as it requires specific people called Specialists so that they can operate specific sections of your home-base). I honestly prefer this way of upgrading your base compared to the older games in which you had to hunt numerous animals to get skins for crafting better equipment. At least this makes more sense now.

It’s so funny that they think they can put me down with fists and bats when I have already killed hundreds of them, just by staring at them. They should be fleeing up the mountains crying for their mommies.

One great addition to the game are the Expeditions. These missions are taking place in different locations outside Montana (like San Francisco) and they have a very simple goal; steal shit from the Highwaymen (so the baddies are all over the states but live in Montana? And you also fly all the way to these locations with a chopper? Oh well). These missions are a nice break from the green fields of Hope County and can be done solo or with a gun for hire.

“They penetrated our defenses so deeply” – Bean, creator of Wikibeania, after the attack on Prosperity.

Speaking of which, and just like the previous FC game, guns for hire are back. These are people or animals who are willing to follow your command into battle, from a cute doggy to an angry wild boar and from an old lady with a sniper to a guy with a mask and bow who says absolutely nothing in the whole game (he just moans a lot… and he sucks by the way). In order to recruit them you will usually have to do a mission involving them like rescuing some nice doggies from some evil twisted motherfuckers who are butchering them. My doggy, by the way, had more than a hundred kills.

I fed these guys to the dogs, stupidity is untreatable anyways.

As for the game’s boss fights… well… they are awful. I mean… OK… I get it; it is not that easy to make a memorable boss fight in a, mostly, realistic first person shooter. However, making your boss absorb enemy fire like Sponge-Bob is not the freaking solution. Put some armour on them or do the hide and seek trick, make it a melee-only fight, hell even make a god damn QTE-fest sequence like Far Cry 3 did; it will still feel better than what we get in New Dawn. Seriously, in the final fight the boss had 3 arrows stuck in its damned head for the first three seconds of the cut-scene… it was ridiculous I tell you.

The Rye family reunited! Even after everything I have done I still don’t get a hug. Ungrateful bastards!

“Even if there are less cars now people still drive like assholes” – Gina after being hit by another vehicle.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, there are microtransactions in the game. Truth be told they are not intrusive and you can get almost everything with the in-game currency, but if you want to unlock every single weapon then get ready for some glorious grinding. Microtransactions have no place in a single player game in my opinion. It’s unacceptable, plain and simple.

Currency for microtransactions. I donated all of mine to my pet friends.

In conclusion, Far Cry: New Dawn is OK. It’s certainly not the best Far Cry game but it’s way better than the previous one (even if you include all of its DLCs). Is it worth purchasing and playing it right now? Maybe. All I can say is that I didn’t encounter any problem that could ruin my experience (I mean it doesn’t have the awful and crazy spawn times that were happening in the previous game). If you liked Far Cry 5, chances are you will also like this one. If you lost interest in the series after Far Cry 3 then this might also be a nice breath of fresh air. At least it was for me and it has been a while since I had fun with a Far Cry game.

  Melee

Stealth

Shooting

Upgrades

Cover System

No Busy Work

Weapon Variety

Villains

Boss Fights

Freaking Pink

RPG Elements

Silent Protagonist

Microtransactions

Lack of Customization

        Playtime: 17+ hours total

Computer Specs: CPU: i5 4440, GPU: MSI 960GTX 4GB, RAM: G.Skill Ripjaws X 8GB HDD: Crucial 275GB MX300, OS: Win7, 1080p

Far Cry: New Dawn Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[mintyisland-blog]

Mass Effect: Andromeda

Okay, I get why people didn’t liek it but it really wans’t that bad everyone. The glitiches were minimal but hey, I’m playing it after a year of its’ release so this time i went by pretty smoothly. I’m just goingot be wiritng what i loved aobut it cause i gotta stay positive, although i think i’m a pretty positive person a majority of the time so maybe i should be critical of it as well. yeah i thnk i will. ANDROMEDA REVIEW EVERYONE.

Okay, let’s start out with my pathfinder. I named her Serinity because that was the name of the protagonist of a christian anime girl manga series...Oh god. Let me rew rowrd that. Serinity is the name of this blue haird main character from a christian manga that was named...Serinity. Redundency..myt bad. Anway, Ryder...let’s keep it skimple. Ryder, was a pretty likeable character. She had some depth but i waill admit there wasn’t that much of a character arch but i guess it just dpens how you decided to protray her. I made her  alot more compasionate and understanding in most moments. I remember lexi giving a proifle on how I was protryahing her. She said I was rash with my actions??? But I was compasionate and caring towards most people. Not gonna lie i paniced during some missions when i had to tap RT at some point.  So yeah...Ryder was meh. I made her pretty funny too so I guess that was good cause my gameplay would have been rather dull. Okay. So I posted on my therepy post on thesome of the chacters, or at least i mentioned them a little but yeah. Let’s start with Jaal.

Jaal...when I first saw him, I was like...hmmm...potential. Potential but I was defienitly looking at Vetra when i first met her cause damn...she’s is one good luooking turian. I didn’t get to romance Garrus from the trilogy (I haven’tplayed Massef 2 and 3...I know I know...I’m stupid) so I thought I was going to make it up when I met Vetra...however when i realized how opentnly emotional Jaal was, I was like doki doki hadr core my dadue.  He was just so caring. The way he smiled at Ryder and called her darling!! Ahhhhhh...so cute. He also went through some emotinal trauma with the discovery of the oriings of his race...spoilers everyone...I tend to love characters who are broken in some aspect. Like trust me, the more broken the character, the more I want to love  them. Perhaps they’re a reflection of me. So yeah, Jaal was broken and I loved that about him well...also with the fact he was very accepting and open abouthimself. I took a clip of wen we went to Hrval and he showed Ryder the blueprints of his pet and a gun. Ryder’s expresions wer epriceless. I’ll try uploading it on here before I fnisish this post. Classic. The romance scene was on point...They’re super cute! I got to se eRyder’s tittes...was not expecting that. but yeah, interspecies SEX! I’m sure Jaal did Ryder right...is it strange if I put I instead of Ryder...I mean, It is a role playing game so I am putting myself as Ryder but it wouldn’t be actually me but it is me making the decions so it is me...huh? Don’t mind me. Now that I thnk about it, if I did put I, it would make me sound like a weird kinky chiick that liker interspecies sex.....???hmmm. Well, I’m kinky ...scratch that. I’m pretty simple when it comes to sex but that’s a discusion for another time. This is about Jaal. ...Something I look for in characters is their eyes. Jaal’s eyes look like a kitties or aligattors...maybe a corss but they were just stunning...I liked them. The general design of the angara was pretty well made. I love how broad their shoulers can ge and his thighs..tem booty. So lusicious. .

Speaking of lusicouls bootie, Ryes REYES!! You damn bad boy you...me and the bad boys have had quite the history. He was a smuggler and the first character I (Ryder) got to kiss and I didn’t mind...okay i was a bit guiltycause I liked Jaal and Vetra at the time. But the cut scene after wards when he ays he came to be someone and then I was all like “You’re someone to me” was cliche but I think that what he needed to hear at the time. I don’t know what the history he lift behind in the Milky way was but he obviously wanted a change. Just like how I want to leave my past behaviors behind and move on. Well...more like I want to become someone just like him. I think that’s why I really liked him. When I disocvered he was the charletan (spilers...my bad) I did’t think too badly of him but I did lose some trust because I don’t tolerate liars...plus I wanted to commit myself to only Jaal at that point too. I feel like my timel timeline was a bit whack but if i play another playthrough I woill get it right. I know some things I’ll change. Like my male rider will be with Ryes..  He deserves love.

Okay, so a quick thing on Vetra was how much she loved her family cause all she had as sid so I really admired how much she wanted to look after her sister. Maybe it’s because Vetra is like my older sister but I think not as strict. Mys sister worries for me but she trusts that I can be an adult and that I fifigure myself out...of course she hhhas my back though.

Okay, Drack...he makes me happy. I didn’t gorw up with a granda or just and grandmpa like figure in my life so i wasn’t sure how to go about interacting with him but honestly I loved him once i realized his grandaughter was back on the Nexus. On his lyalty mission he was just so funny on how he interacted with the other krogan and I love how he uses his age as an excuse. “Just let me be a old grauchy old man in peach”...That’s going to be me when I’m old.  I realized I realliked drack a lot on the mission when were inflitrating the kett shipa and we realized the krogan were being used for exaltation. Initally I picked saving the salarian pathfinder because I wanted at least one of the oriangl pathfinders alive but alsa when I saw Drax’s reaction, I went back to replay 20 mins of gameplay so that I could get on hs good side. Because Honestly the Krogans have gone through a hella lot of shit. Like in the Milky Galaxy and now so they should be given slack. They’re not wanting to be the war like monsters that defined them in the Milky Way. They would be warriors but they would know when to put their swords away. I got that from Inuistion. Which I will probab write aoubt next.

Okay...now that bad companions. They’re not bad bad but I just didn’t findi anything to exciing about sayyyyyy Liam. Love the accent but boy, you are just so impulsive...Kinda gets on my nerve. Like even his lyalty mission was just one big fuck over but hey, he was the one person who wanted to reach out to the angara and wanted tounderstand them on ta better level so i appreicate hisbromance with Jaal...Cora was obsessed with her military history. Like yeah, I get it you were a untress...I don’t hink that would have been a good fit for a Pathfinder now that I think about it because she might have brought a more military based agenda if she were the leader and hat wouldn’t have ended well. It wouldve been the pilgrims with the indians in a sense. It would just be a huge mess. Now for my least favoirte character. Peeebee. ..There’s a comic I saw about if Shepard was in Adromeda and if he had seen Pbee, Garruis would’ve just shot her cause damn...she did look rabid haha. She was just annoying. She was kinda like Sera from Dragon age but I actually liked Sera’s craziness. Peebee was just in your face and needed to uptone her elcorness hahaha.. I liked the fact she made a robot that could kill for methouhg. That’s the only puls side from her. Oh my god...her loyalty mssion was annoying with the fact her ex was probably the most annoying character...more so than peebee so you can just imagine me just rolling my eyes hroughout the enire mission. Like geez...why would she have fallen for someone as self centered as that bitch? Mybe it was ...Maybe she didn’t always act like that but just the fact the ex tried to one up peebee in every way was so annoying. Like geezus...Please obsssess over somethig else please. Just didn’t want to deal with her at all. The end. just kidding. I have more wot rite aobu tlike the plot.

So the plot of the game wasn’t so bad in my opinon. The race of kett were actually thretening as they sought to pretty mch commit gennocide by removing whole species and ...except those speciwould’ve turened into them so they would die but not really die cause t HOld on...So they toak on aspects of certain aliens but when ever I scnaned them I remember sam or Lexi saying that they were all kett...like there was very little left from the species that they had transformed from. And they’re not all Angara right. Casue the Archon said he was a mixture of thousands of species...which means...maybe they travled from another galaxy?? *ponders* So...yeah..a decen villain and with the whole “looking for ahome” aspect,it made a legitmate story line so I don’t understand how people got bored of it. If anything a lot osf the side mission were lengthy and too much snanny. I wish I could’ve gotten more reasearch points for reverant pcause I really wanted to make their amor. but I didn’t san enough stupid scupltures. I was rough. Uh oh...it stopped noooo. I had so much to say. Okay it wasn’t that far behind. I was writing about he Ryder twins and how I hoped that Scott would’ve been brought ealier into the game so you caould actually play as him and he would just have a different load out. Seeing the wtins interacting more would’ve been cool , plus it wouldve gien me incite on Ryder Sr.  who was the classical overworking father who diesn’t pay much attention to his family. I like the fact the loved Ellen though...Like he legitmately love dher but he put his love all towards her insteaand her survival, which was ultimately a good thing cause it saved Ellen. Speaking of which, I’m surprised they didn’t find the cure for Ellen...maybe it’ll be implicated in the DLC? I haven’t heard of a DLC but they should come out with one cause of how they ened it with e qurian ark coming in at the end. (spiler...lol I should propbably put this in the bennning but fuck it.)  Yeah, that’s my review. Yay!

SAM had awesome puns. I don’t care how bad they were...I loved them.