#(no like some dude wrote this to get a lady to marry him irl)

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

one of the first irish songs i ever learnt!! it's so GOOD pls im. begging to treat urself and listen to this. its an absolute BANGER and liam ó maonlaí is a fantastic singer ;A; THERE'S EVEN AN ADDED TUNE AT THE END. so pretty 💚💚💚

pspspsps lyrics included under the cut!!!

Ní iarrfainn bó spré le Sadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla Ach Baile Inis Gé is cead éalú ar choinníní Óra a Shadhbh, a Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla A chuisle is a stóirín, éalaigh is imigh liom

Máistir báid mhóir mé a' gabháil ród na Gaillimhe D' fhliuchfainn naoi bhfód is ní thóigfinn aon fharraige Óra a Shadhbh, a Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla Tabhair dom do láimhín, éalaigh is imigh liom

Máistir báid mhóir go deo ní ghlacfad mé; Nuair a fhaigheann an síon chóir is dóigh nach bhfánann siad Óra a Shadhbh, a Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla Tabhair dom do láimhín, éalaigh is imigh liom

Níl falach i gcabhail ar Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla Ach seanchóitín donn gan cabhail gan muinchille Óra a Shadhbh, a Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla Tabhair dom do láimhín, éalaigh is imigh liom

Fear maith i mbád mé togha fear iomraimh Fear sluaisid' is láí ar dhá cheann an iomaire Óra a Shadhbh, a Shadhbh Ní Bhruinnealla A chuisle is a stóirín, éalaigh is imigh liom!

[madsdefencesquad]

another kevison fanfic none of you asked for (also on ao3):

[Thread] Who's the nicest celeb you've met in real life?

-

Kevin Pearson. Was an extra for one of his movies and couldn’t be any nicer. Chatted with us even though technically you weren’t supposed to. He joked around a lot and showed us pics of his family. Real top bloke.

-

I met this guy once on vacation in Italy. We were at a table next to him and my newborn was screaming bloody murder, mom was in the bathroom. Couldn’t quite calm my son and I was getting real embarrassed with the loud noise. Some of the waiters came over to their table to ask if they wanted to move but Kevin shut them down immediately. Actually got a bit cross that they even suggested it. His wife suggested to rock my baby on the side to make him stop and he did! She knows a few tricks having twins and stuff. Also shared that joy/misery thing of being first time parents. Anyway, they left first (they got there earlier) and we learned after that they paid for our meals too. Couldn’t believe it.

replied: Wow. That’s the so fucking nice of them.

replied: Yeah made my wife cry haha

-

I’ve heard only good things about him too! My mom lives in Philly and his brother was running for city council a few years back and he was there and took photos with all the Korean mamas including my own and my grandma! apparently he smells really expensive :P

-

Didn’t know that I was fully chatting up his wife at Starbucks until I saw a pic of them at the premiere for one of his movies. I’d be embarrassed by my god she was fantastic! 10/10 would’ve gone for it if I wasnt such a potato

replied: And wasn’t married.

replied: That too

-

My daughter was an extra on one of his movies and says he’s the nicest guy and “such a dad” lol! And her dad’s a real “dad” dad so for her to say that about a famous actor is funny

-

I used to teach his kids in my kindergarten class. Daughter’s wicked smart. I can tell you all the mothers would have a fit every time he’d come by to pick them up and if it’s not his wife or them together, it’s him. Very hands on. I’d say that counts for nice.

-

Rocked out to a Lady Gaga show with him and his wife in Vegas. His wife and I are practically best friends now! We’re on first name basis ;)

replied: Sounds fun! What were they there for if you don’t mind me asking? Coz isn’t he like sober now?

replied to a reply: I think it was for a niece’s birthday or something? Couldn’t remember, was pretty wild night :P And I didn’t see any drinks.Even his wife wasn’t drinking I think? They were literally there to enjoy Gaga like the rest of us

-

I love hearing stories about him like this because it always looks like he’s such a pretentious pretty boy jerk especially back in the day

replied: Getting your life sorted can change a man

replied to a reply: Yeah he’s pretty mellowed out since getting sober. He’s had that DUI and rehab stint but now he’s a real family man and seems to love his wife very much. Good for him.

-

Doesn’t he remind you of George Clooney? Got married late and had boy girl twins and is loving life!

replied: True!!

-

Not sure if everybody knows but his wife Madison is pretty big in the interior design space especially coz she like pretty much runs their fam construction business. I follow her on Insta and I know everyone has a crush on Kevin but I’d pick her over him any day!

replied: OMG YES SAME! She puts together these amazing DIY palettes and I’m obsessed! I’d also pick her over him any day even just to pick her brain

replied to a reply: She also recommends the best books!!!

-

My mom’s in the planning side of construction and met his wife in West Chester. She did a presentation and afterwards her and my mom shared parenting tips like they’re in some mom club. Apparently she was the sweetest and her babies are adorable and also Kevin calls a lot lol

-

Met him at the airport, wife’s a huge fan of the manny so sucked my gut to ask for a pic. When he found out it’s for the missus, he recorded a special vid saying his iconic line. Missus was over the moon. Real good fella

replied: MANNY SAY WHAAATTTTT

replied: That’s so nice

replied: He did for my mom as well! All the moms love him!

-

Kevin Pearson helped re-build my grandparents’ burned down convenience store. Couldn’t thank him enough even if I tried

replied: Wow, that’s real generous. How are the grandparents?

replied to a reply: Thanks! They’re over the moon. They have a house near the area but gran said he’d come by with his kids from time to time. Even if gran didn’t want to, they always insisted to pay for whatever the kids wanted.

-

Delivered the cake for his uncle (grandpa’s?) wedding and he gave a seriously generous tip. Oh and his wife packed me pigs in the blanket.

replied: Pigs in the blanket?! What in the middle school

replied: Apparently it was the uncle/grandad’s favorite or something and they double ordered. But who cares free food!

replied to a reply: Did it come with ketchup?

replied to a reply: Hot, wrapped in foil and handful of ketchup packets. I felt like one of the kids

-

Not him but his brother who’s like a big shot in politics right now. Real top guy and had the best laugh

-

This doesn’t sound real but I’ve bumped into him literally five times over the past year he’ll probably think I’m some stalker. Rarely saw him without his family and once his kid threw a ball at me. He apologised but c’mon you either throw a ball or bounce it no big deal. Besides, that kid has David Beckham’s kids manners. Real like English folk polite it’s insane

replied: That’s always nice to hear that celebrity kids aren’t spoiled brats. We know a few good of them are

replied to a reply: Celebrity kids are different from kid celebrities though

replied to a reply: Didn’t say they were the same? Just saying that for a kid of someone so rich and famous you’d think they’d be a bit more spoiled but they weren’t at all and was beyond respectful and that’s a testament to the parents.

replied to a reply: Agree. I’ve met this particular celebrity’s kids and mind you they’re teens now but god they were just awful and pretentious. Even more than their famous parent which is saying something

-

Not him but I did meet that actress that was so embarrassingly flirty around him during the press conference of hat film he did a few years back. She’s a real bitch and so fake and I’m so glad she’s been dropped from the sequel

replied: Oh god yeah I remember her. She was so obnoxious laughing at everything he said like stfu it’s not that funny!!!! The secondhand embarrassment watching her and him being all polite about it *chills*

replied: She’s the worst. No talent

replied to a reply: I was an extra for some scenes in that movie and she was WAY worse and such a diva for someone unknown. Kevin’s a real nice guy though and just let her be. He talks about his wife and kids a lot but she would not take a hint!

replied to a reply: That is just embarrassing

-

Alright story time. Was working as a barista at a cafe and it was one of those really shitty days. He came in, ordered and waited and was all nice and took some pics with fans. Anyway, like I said shitty day so I mixed up his coffee order and got him two lattes instead of cappuccinos. Mind you, it was a busy asf day as well and I was the only one making coffees. He comes over and tells me and I apologise but by this time my manager’s already all up on my ass for serving Kevin Pearson incorrectly. He kept apologising to him and berating me till Kevin himself stepped in and told the manager off. But like calmly and stuff like it’s no big deal and people make mistakes whatever and I kid you fucking not he apologised to me too and said I was doing a good job. He probably won’t know how much that meant to me after an already shitty as day but it did. I made sure to make him the best fucking cappuccinos

replied: I’ve met him in irl too and he is this!

-

I saw him sitting at a cafe with his daughter. Super nice. Asked him if I could get an autograph for my mom who’s a huge fan. He asked me some questions about her and wrote a really nice autograph, for her. His daughter stuck one of her stickers on there too and my mom loved that even more. I told him where she works (at a grocers) and he went out of his way to shop there the next day and made a point to look for her and chat. Great, great dude

replied: That is so fucking cool man. And your mom must’ve been so happy!

replied to a reply: She was over the moon! She loves his wife too! Apparently she was even chattier than Kevin haha

-

Met him at the airport. I was an employee and he had some TSA questions. Genuinely nice and friendly, chatted for about 15min. After he was set, we shook hands, he had his kids say thank you individually with a high five. Adorable. His wife was super nice and friendly too. Very good social interaction, would participate again

[enaasteria]

Answered Asks // 1

This first bulk ask is for Music Anon as you sent me your reactions while reading and I LOVED THEM SO MUCH. Under the cut!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 30th 2018, 6:51:00 pm · 4 hours ago But what happens after 18 T_T?! Do we send them off to happy ending AU? But okay I can’t wait to see them being all fluff balls like omg I need fluff after all that angst (though I do love angst but they deserve their happy)! Btw, I sent you a message about a song that reminded me of chapter 11. I was just wondering if you’ve received because I remember you saying your inbox eats your messages sometimes :)

18 is the epilogue. It really is just a cute scene I have in mind that I want to write out that gives insight into what their life is afterwards. And yes!! the music ask is in my inbox. I’m saving it for when I can really focus on the lyrics. My brain is a bit loopy right now from finishing 17 so I want to take my time and enjoy the music you sent. I’ll definitely listen to it tomorrow morning when my brain is refreshed~~~!!!

Anonymous said to enaasteria: March 30th 2018, 7:10:00 pm · 3 hours ago

Okay I saw that you enjoy messages while we’re reading so I’m going to send you a lot of annoying ones which will make you sick of me. I’m at the scissors part and can I just say CHANYEOL? WHY?! DO YOU NOT READ THE ATMOSPHERE. IT SHOULD BE SEHUN AND AHRI ALL TANGLED UP AND PRETZELING, NOT YOU AND SEHUN!! Buuuut awwwww the hand holding. SOFLUFFYLIKEABUNNY. I literally had to wear my pyjamas and run to bed so that I could enjoy it in my most comfortable position. Back to reading! - musicanon

I’m gunna answer all of your individual messages personally because I LOVED READING EVERY ONE OF THEM. THEY WERE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY NIGHT MUSIC ANON. THEY REALLY WERE. OMG. I had to rewrite this part so many times because I couldn’t figure out how to get Sehun and Ahri to the bathroom scene. The flow was completely off and I was like---let me try having Chanyeol being a fidgety mess and grab Sehun all over the place and voila. LOL

Ended the intense haircut session xD! I love the way you describe scenes in which Ahri cradles Sehun’s face. It’s so intimate and loving. I also love how both haircut sessions in the story kind of depicts how Ahri is letting Sehun into her world. But this time, he wants to venture deeper and she also wants him to come closer. So much has changed! Did Sehun read a manual on perfect boyfriend 101 because damn boy, you’re giving Ahri (and me) heart attacks! STAYINYOURLANE. 

YOU NOTICED. YASSSS. When he kissed her inner wrist LIKE. PLEASE @ LORD. PLEASE BLESS ME WITH THIS ROMANCE IRL. I NEED THIS. EVEN HALF OF THIS ROMANCE. I ain’t a greedy lady but I just want some heartfelt moments like this. Haircut session. My hearteu. Side note---I really need my bangs cut. Where can I get an apt Sehun to cut my hair??? BUT SNIFFS. This is how I see Sehun being with the person he loves. I really think he would dote on her and really love her to the extent of his capabilities. It just makes me go uwu.

Btw, Soi being like are you sure you’re done reminds me of the scene in Black Panther where T’challa is having his fam reunion and M’Baku is like YAWN are you done? Are you done?! Cracks me up!

OMG. BLACK PANTHER. You are just about my favorite anon. Thank you and let me love you forever and ever.

Oh dear lord, I hope Yua’s work troubles weren’t the ones you were going through (or something similar)? Also, I hope you weren’t referring to your cousin x_x. But of course, if you were then SHAME ON ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO DO THIS TO YOU. You’re like Ahri though! Strong and elegant in her way of dealing with things <3 Soi’s desire to smush the lovebirds together perfectly describes my own. I always think of the NOW KISS meme whenever Sehun and Ahri are in close proximity. JUSTKISSCOMEON - ma

Every work trouble I really did go through. I write a lot from experiences so this whole chapter encompasses a lot of moments I dealt in real life. The work, the 23 hr straight shift, the glass frame and rewriting it. All happened. But it’s also a reason why I quit so now life is a lot better without those leadership boogers. WHAT IS THIS MEME YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND WHERE CAN I FIND ITTTT???

How funny would it be if Ahri playfully called Sehun Monsieur and Sehun launches into full French mode like Bonjour oui oui mademoiselle (my last French lesson was 15 years ago. it’s been awhile xD). Ahri be like dafuq I’m out - ma

Ahhhhhh my dearest music anon. She would straight up respond back in fluent french and let him live out his wildest dreams PUAHAHAHAH

TIE SCENE SO CUTE *hearteyes* I can imagine it playing out in my head!!! I have to applaud Ahri for being able to tie it on someone else. I can only tie it while it’s on my neck, loosen it and give it to someone else. And lol, of course Mr Perfect Boyfriend has the ability to somehow make his gaze softer on command xD. Ahri bby, how are you not melting. SOI?! YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED THEM TO KISS AND NOW YOU’RE INTERRUPTING THEM. For a good reason. BUTSTILL. Just wait 30 seconds!!! - ma

RIGHT. This chapter made me CRY A RIVER AND IM STILL A MESS. And Monsieur Oh is adept with his facial structure and actions and can be any man you want him to be. You want sturdy burly Sehun. You got it. Soft, cherub Sehun? NO PROBLEM. He can do it all!!! But honestly I would melt too and she sort of does. Eventually LOOOOL But to Soi’s defense, she just has terrible timing. HAHAHAHA She’s my baby. I love Soi. I love Yua. I love Ahri. I love Yumi. I love all my girls.

Ohgod! Poor Ahri for having to do all that name writing! Sehun is right. She’s got this! But you’ve perfectly described me whenever I make a mistake in my writing. I’m like FFS I NEED TO REWRITE THIS WHOLE THING. That’s why I like pencils because rubbers exist. Look at Ahri getting all turned on by Sehun’s knife skills *waggles brows* it’s like her artistic rendition of lumberjack Sehun. I bet Sehun is already planning their wedding. Crossing mirrors off the list or else the missus would cry -ma

This was another one of the scenes where I wrote from experience. I was helping out a wedding and this bride made her seating charts just as I described. Her wedding was outside and it was windy and it knocked over one of the seating charts. I had to rewrite all those names and it was such a PAIN IN THE BUTTTTT. OMG ARCHITECT SEHUN WOULD BE SO HEUNGNNGNGNG. She goes and visits him at the office while he’s drafting a building. AND SHE JUST LOOKS AT HIM AND ITS HIS TURN TO ASK HER, CAN YOU LOOK AT ME LESS INTENSELY PLEASE, AHRI. IT would be just cutest.

CONGRATS TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM! Dude I can’t believe you forgot her name. I don’t do this at all *rolls eyes and acts self righteous* btw, I didn’t know about the least to most important bridesmaids/groom thing! It actually made me laugh because if you’re asked to be one, you know exactly where you stand in the ranking xD. ASDFGHJKL. HANDHOLDING. FITTING PRECISELY IN ALL THE EMPTY SPACES IN BETWEEN. WALKING DOWN THE AISLE. That’s it. They’re officially married in my mind. No arguments! - ma

Seunghyun and Lia’s meeting was actually how I met my husband. He didn’t remember my name actually but I remembered his and it was and still is how I torment him LOOOOL. It’s not really least important to most important. I just did it for writing purposes but it’s your wedding. Sometimes people just place people in certain spots based on their height LOL. AHRI AND SEHUN. MARRIED> I DEAD.

Oh Chanyeol, you finally have met your violent happy ending. He’s a pup in love! Very unexpected but I approve. Yeol and Ahri’s pact doesn’t stand because Sehun and Ahri just got married (and secretly stole Seunghyun and Lia’s thunder). OMGKEEPERS! ISEEWHATUDIDTHERE. Man Sehun, how does it feel listening to how you’ve been a dick to Ahri in KeepersAU (also early in ApartmentAU)? But he made amends so he will be forgiven. IS HE GOING TO GIVE HER JEWELLERY?! He said he wouldn’t unless ...! - ma

HE’S A PUP IN LOVE AND THATS EXACTLY WHAT HE ISSSSS. IT was never really a true pact to begin with. Just a joke to mess with Sehun that I added in and I don’t think Ahri would’ve ever went through with it tbh. She’s not the type to marry someone at all, if ever and even if she’s old and wrinkly, she wouldn’t marry someone if she didn’t wholeheartedly love him. AND YASSSS KEEEPEEPEPERPRRSSS. I’m glad you see it. I was really proud of this. I wove in so many stories for this chapter. My brain was about to burst. AYEEEE. WILL HE. WILL WE FIND OUT IF HE GIVES HER JEWELRY in 18??? We shall see.

I just died of fluff and I’m not even done yet. I had to take so many breaks in between reading by smushing my face into the pillow because my heart was bursting with cotton wool!! Not gonna lie, I wanted to smack Sehun for using >100 batteries. BE ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLY BOY. Even if you’re in a fictional scene. But A+ for set up. The jar of longing is so sweet! BESTILLMYHEART. HAHAHA I CANT BELIEVESHE TOLD HIM ABOUT HOW SHE CLASSIFIES HIM! Married couple spilling all their secrets & kissing -ma

ITS SO FLUFF RIGHT? LIKE I CANT EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW I DID IT. I can’t even live right now because I’ve never written anything like this before. I’m more into darker stories where things are just pain and crying and tears and heart breaking torment. SO THIS WAS A 180 FROM WHAT I USUALLY WRITE. I hope it wasn’t vomit inducing fluff but IM SORRY. THE BATTERIES. Would it help if I said they’re rechargeable?????? AYEEEE. VERSIONS EQUATE TO CREATIVITY. Who knows, it might be a kink. OR. he could spend the rest of his life entertaining her with versions and asking her what do you call this one? how about this one? AHRIIII~~~~~~She would major regret this later on hahaha

Aw, I’m glad Ahri got to see the stars!! And promptly decided that she wanted to be with Sehun instead. Omg HAHAH. I was like how do you unofficially own a star? Did he call the international space agency or Spock or something and told them to fly a toothpick flag up with the names of Sehun and Ahri written on it xD? Btw are those star designations real? I tried googling but ended up with Supreme Court cases lol! Whenever Sehun tells stories that his father told him, and he says that (tbc) - ma

YES! You can can actually “buy” a star and “name” it. It’s definitely not official. It’s not like N*SA will recognize it but it’s just a sweet gesture and that’s why he said unofficially. The star designations I used aren’t real but they are formatted in that way. I had do research on this and it’s really long and windy and hard to explain because even my brain was like---i can not understand this. The letters are usually an abbrev of the telescope used to discover the star and the numbers are sometimes the year found or the date or coordinates. Like I said, really complicated science stuff so for the sake of fic writing, I just made it simple and put in some numbers that mean stuff LOOOL

And he says that it’s been passed down from generation to generation. I have this picture of ancient Egyptian Sehun wearing the Pharoh headgear in my mind telling his son about how KeepersAU Sehun was a dick and how he should cling to a girl called Ahri when he meets her xD! HE IS SO SMOOTH IN THIS CHAPTER. I spilled tea on myself so many times while reading. Can I just say that the we are stars for eternity idea (unless they decide to be a supernova) is so creative and so fitting for them?

AHHAHAHAHAHAH PHARAOH SEHUN. IM DED. OMG. I will never forget this memory and look. Another version of Sehun to make me want to die in a pile of fluff. And tbh---I really imagine Sehun coming to Ahri’s classroom with the kids all around him. Ada. Joon. They’re all around him in a circle as he tells embarrassing lovey dovey songs about Sehun and Ahri and it just makes me smile soooo much. ISNT IT. I HAD THIS IDEA FOR 3 YEARS AND I FINALLY WROTE IT OUT AND IM SO CRY TEARS OVER IT???? But yes---no supernova. no kilonova none of that colliding and bursting together business LOL.

You are so incredibly thoughtful in crafting a sense of continuity and meaning for Sehun and Ahri <3. I think that’s why they are so addictive as a couple. Because we get to see the way they’ve grown, the way they accept the hurt they’ve inflicted upon each other and themselves but actually reflect on it and come out stronger. I love the honesty and kindness they’ve shown each other in this chapter. How they’ve come out of hiding to show that they do indeed love the other. - ma

THANK YOUUUUUU. OMG. THIS REALLY IS SO SWEET. Your messages made me so much and I’m addicted to them as well. They’re like my babies and I just want to give them all the happiness to make up for all the pain I put them through. 

I loooove the parallel scenes between this chapter and the previous ones because this time, their words and actions mean something deeper. I wish I was as eloquent as you are because I don’t have words to describe how beautiful they are together. They are so in love and I’m in love with them being in love *_*! Casually throwing myself in their relationship. I’ll be waving pom-poms in the bushes where they can’t see teehee! Can we have a reincarnation AU based on the last line xD? - ma

AHHHHH IM NOT ELOQUENT AT ALL. I really fail at words and I might reread to fix some things but YESSS. I’m all about parallels. I love making full circle of things to make sure it all ends cleanly and making sure they’re not who they were but better people now. REINCARNATION AUUUUU. MAYBE. MAYBE. I have a few reincarnation prompts saved so I might dig into them and may something will spark???

Thank you thank you thank you for writing this absolutely brilliant story <3. I know nobody is as attached to Sehun and Ahri as you are but we’ve all loved them together for the past three years. THEY ARE LIKE OUR BABIES! I teared while reading 17 T_T. I can’t let them leave the nest. They need to stay within our arms forever!!! How many thank yous can I say before you want to hit me? WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? You’ve blessed us with this story and I only hope I could do something in return. - ma

THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME. I’m not sure how long you’ve been with my blog but if it’s been 1+ years or even from the beginning, I really want to thank you for your patience. I know I’m not the quickest writer out there but I’m nevertheless so grateful for your words. For your sentiments. For all that you’ve written for me to make me smile. THESE MESSAGES ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH AS GRATITUDE. I really love how you reacted to them and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Nothing makes a writer happier than reading messages like this and seeing how you loved this story and cherish it as much as I do.

Okay, I’m probably getting annoying by now. so this is the last one I swear (also because tumblr is being like WHOA WAIT AN HOUR BEFORE ASKING MORE. So I’ve had to switch my WiFi mode on and off so that it doesn’t recognise me as the same person). I’m just gonna reread the chapter again and again, and again tomorrow and again and again. Thank you for this masterpiece. suffice to say, I more than love it so don’t you dare think that it’s anything short of fantabulous! throwsheartsatyou - ma

This is not annoying at all. You’re not annoying, MA. omg TUMBLR DOES THAT??? I never knew!!!! But really, thank you again endlessly for all that you’ve written. I appreciate it so much and I’m so happy you love this story. You are just the sweetest and I PROMISE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC RECS TOMORROW THE MOMENT I WAKE UP. hugs you. LOVES YOU. THROWS CONFETTI AT YOU.

[datingadviceonreddit]

I have good success in meeting women both online and IRL, and I wanted to pass along a few personal lessons to any guys that care to take note. Feel free to apply as you like and discard anything that you don’t care for.About me: I’m 40, male, divorced. Not overly attractive but also not unattractive. I’d rate myself between 6/10 and 8/10 depending on the day. I’m not terribly tall (5’10), not terribly athletic, and not physically built. I don’t have a “dad bod” but I’m also not defined. I think I’m squarely in the “pleasantly average” range in the looks department - I don't turn heads when I walk into a room. I don’t frequent bars or hotspots that younger people might go to meet people, I tend to meet women while I’m walking my dog, at the grocery store, the bank, on the street car, bookstores, coffee shops, monuments and museums, art shows, etc. I’m moderately successful in my career. I’m emotionally aware, share my feelings, and a good communicator. I'm well read and able to converse about a wide variety of topics. I’m confident in my sexual skills but not an asshole about it - and by the way, I don’t put out a sexual vibe until I’m already flirting with a lady. In my experience, trying to put out a sexual vibe comes across as desperate and creepy.My goal in meeting women is to be kind, be engaging, be interesting, and interested. If I completely strike out in the romance department and it turns out she’s married, a lesbian, or just not interested, I want her to walk away feeling like she had a polite little interaction with a nice man. If we become acquaintances that’s better, friendship is even better, and love would be amazing. But all of those start with me being kind, engaging, interesting, and interested.1. Confidence. Confidence comes from a mindset that is both pragmatic and optimistic. For example: When I’m working up the courage to talk to a woman, I’ll remind myself that she’s already NOT dating me, so the worst that can happen is that she continues to not date me. However if I don’t strike up a conversation with her, I’ll probably regret not taking the chance. That’s being pragmatic. The optimistic side is me telling myself to believe in the “what if?” - maybe we’ll get along wonderfully, maybe she’ll be into me, maybe I’ll make her laugh, maybe it’ll lead to a single date or maybe more? A positive mindset is a matter of positive self-talk. If it doesn’t work out, don’t be immature about it. Be pleasant, and tell yourself that it’s a lesson learned. You’re not going to make solid contact with every strike, so step out of the batters box for a moment, shake it off, and step up for the next pitch. But when it does work, it builds your confidence tremendously! Helpful tip: confidence is not cockiness. Cockiness = "you're lucky to be talking to me", Confidence = "I believe in myself enough to be talking to you."2. Humor. I’m a witty person, and I am quick with a joke or a quip to make people smile and start a connection. This is tricky to learn if you’re not naturally funny or social engaging, but my advice to you would be to invest in a book or two, and watch some youtube videos on how to engage verbally and non verbally with strangers. Before I talk to a woman I have something in mind I’m going to say, and 100% of the time it’s funny. Recently I met a wonderful lady while we were both trying to find ripe pineapples at the market and I said “You have to smell them on the top of the head. It’s the same way you can tell if your middle schooler needs a shower, but less angsty” and she chuckled. Next thing you know we went out for coffee and had a nice time. Humor tip: if you started with a joke, come back to it later in the conversation “…very similar to choosing a pineapple!”3. Communication/Conversational Skills. If you start with humor, you have to be able to follow up with conversation. Topics that are always easy are nearby, observational, and open ended. Example: “Excuse my dog, he works for the parks department and he’s smelling for dangerous vampire squirrels. There’s been an outbreak of vampire squirrels in this area, so keep your garlic handy. Do you have a dog?” Pet people LOVE to talk about their pets. So that’s an easy trail to go down. Conversation tip: be watching for cues to pick up if they are interested in you. Cues are body positioning (open to you means they are engaged, turning away or closed off means they are disengaging) verbal engagement (more than yes or nor answers, instigating more than just responding) and eye contact. If a woman gives me direct eye contact, turns to me, smiles, and gives full responses to my conversation starter, I feel the freedom to continue. If I sense disengagement, I simple allow the conversation to end and don’t force it. Sometimes she isn’t a natural conversationalist, and isn’t sending a clear signal, if that’s the case I will casually reengage and gauge her response. Conversation tip: Open ended questions lead to more conversation, such as “what do you think is the best food (our city) has to offer? what’s some of your favorite places that you recommend to people?” There is an endless supply of resources online on how to improve your communication and conversation skills. Take advantage of the and improve yourself in that area.4. Take Care of Yourself. Dude. You don’t have to look like Tom Brady. Just take care of yourself. Learn how to dress for your body type (I could write a much longer post on how guys can dress better, but start following men's fashion instagram accounts and read some blogs) You’d be AMAZED how many women compliment me on my style. Keep a good haircut (find a barber you trust and stick with him) always smell nice, shower regularly, make sure your clothes fit well (seriously, spend the money to get your clothes tailored), wear good shoes and a good belt, and walk with confidence. Fashion tip: You don't have to wear high-end clothing. You can shop at target or second hand stores, as long as you put together outfits well and your clothes fit like they are supposed to. Most of my clothing comes from department stores with my accessories coming from nicer places. Fitness tip: You don’t have to be ripped to be attractive, in fact, studies have shown that most women aren’t attracted to muscle bound guys. If you need to lose some weight, work on it - but don’t let it hold you back from working on the other things while you improve that area. EVERY guy benefits from 20 minutes of physical exercise 3-4x a week. Simple exercises at home, do some yoga videos, a short jog, play soccer, whatever. It builds your self confidence and helps in you literally every area of your life.5. Make the Ask. This is the hard part for a lot of guys, and takes the most courage - even more than the initial conversation starter. For me, my rule is that I don’t ask to get contact information unless I’m pretty confident that she’s going to say yes (see #3 above) and then I boldly go for it - “I’d love to get to know you socially, can I get your number and/or social media contact information?” Now this is where I’m pretty old school, I have cards that are just for social interaction, not business. They are monogramed with initials on the front, and the back is just my name and number, nothing else. If I send a lady a drink or take care of her bill, I will send her one of my cards along with it. This is the least direct way to invite conversation, and therefore the “safest” as far as rejection goes, but also how’s the lowest rate of results. It doesn’t often work for me, so I only do it in limited situations. The two most recent examples are that I sent a drink to a lady who was obviously at a bar with friends who were surrounding her, and I don’t like to be rude and inject myself. She did not respond. The other example was a mom at a restaurant with her kids - obviously I’m not going to hit on a lady with her kids next to her, so I paid for their meal and sent my card over and wrote on it “I’d love to text you if you’d like!” and we are now good friends.Believe in yourself! You’ve got a lot to offer, and there’s women who would be better having you in their lives! via /r/dating_advice