#(one more nde for the road...maybe)

[welcometololaland]

i got stuck at the start of 5 x 12 because it really went from "if we don't-"

to "no goodbyes"

[sickofthistoxicshit]

So I was thinking - I do have 2 theories that are tied for the rest of the season.

My main theory for the season finale is that Eddie gets hurt, badly.

With the way they talk about his catholic guilt, the fact that his family is coming, it's all pointing to some kind of crisis pending.

I think that maybe Eddie's dad dies, or some ill befalls the family (I really hope it's not Isabel, though I'm almost positive it's not), this season is more about Eddie's parental ties and history - Catholic guilt stems from a certain upbringing.

Also Eddie made his peace with his dad in 5X17, we also saw them afterwards talking like father and son in a more healthy way after Eddie grounded Christopher.

And Ramon was already sick in 5x17. - So it stands to reason that maybe what brings Eddie's family together is maybe Ramon (he could be there filming flashbacks) also Eddie has issues that are unresolved with his mother.

From personal experience, Fathers are not always a safe figure, we love them, but their jobs and lack of time, along with certain expectations and short temper due to stress and tiredness often leaves a child feeling like they are on the defense.

In all of that there is the mother, who may have been there, and loved her child, and took care of her child, but wasn't there to rein in dad when he was out of line, or not a safe figure.

It doesn't have to be a physical thing, sometimes the right words can break a child, make them feel like whatever they do, will never be enough.

And we see that in Eddie all throughout S3, where he wasn't enough, that didn't start with Shannon, that started with his family, the most basic foundation, whatever crap we grow up with as kids, untreated, unspoken can destroy us and any relationships we hope to have in the future.

Now, Eddie has been to therapy, he changed, he spoke to his father in 5x17 and we can see the change between them from there. But he has yet to speak to his mom, whatever is under the surface, needs to be spoken out loud, when he manages to make peace with her he will be more settled with himself.

I'm thinking that a lot like Athena and her mother, that talk will happen only if something happens to Ramon. - So that is another thing that enforces my theory.

That brings me to the finale (second theory) - in Chicago Fire, after Severide's dad dies he has a crisis himself, he gets distracted and nearly dies in a fire, one that his best friend and Cruz pull him out of. He also breaks up with Stella for a while.

So maybe, Eddie gets hurt, he may actually get his coma dream, that will be about him, and after making his peace with both his parents, he may be able to make his peace with Shannon and come back stronger and more sure of himself and his path from this ordeal.

I read around that maybe something happens to Bobby, I doubt that, Bobby got a 3-parter at the beginning of the season along with Athena, Heneren has their time with Mara, Madney got married, and Buck is waddling into bi-ness territory in a questionable speed - but it is a 10 eps season so...

The only one who didn't get a space for his own story (that wasn't about Buck and/or connected to Buck) is Eddie, and he's also due in the injury and NDE department.

So these are my thoughts, I think all roads here lead to Eddie's storyline and I am here for it. 👀🤗

[ardenigh]

More questions on Tegan & Lucky!

What sort of media would Lucky be interested in?

What sort of books and journals are in Tegan's collection?

What bike did Tegan have and what is Lucky's? How did Lucky get his?

What are Tegan's associates doing about Lucky being around instead of him?

Whether for his curiosity of meeting new people and places or distancing himself from Tegan's social circles, would Lucky consider moving somewhere else?

Since Lucky is still legally seen as Tegan, would he get his name changed?

Since Tegan is the king of street racing, would it be fitting that he also has an unbeatable skeeball highscore in every arcade he's been to?

i was going to open this answer by going "well it's your lucky day" but i just made myself cringe with it lol

it is time for boy lore!

What sort of media would Lucky be interested in?

I think he likes weird mixed-media and self-published stuff, honestly. Audio dramas, video essays. Things he can put on while he’s on the road or stretched out watching the clouds. Reading is nice, too, but he focuses best when he's just gotten up and isn't moving yet.

He likes a classic slasher from time to time, too, but only with other people. Corn-syrup blood and cheesy practical effects are just kind of better enjoyed together.

What sort of books and journals are in Tegan's collection?

Make no mistake, Tegan was a NERD. Aeronautical anthologies, astronomy texts, those weird Barnes & Noble historical coffee table selections. Poetry, like a lot of poetry. Tegan's very much a Yeats boy, although he was also fond of Rilke and Rimbaud. There’s also, like, a few dusty language textbooks, the sort that you buy on a kick and never get around to actually studying. And he wrote a lot. Memo pads and leatherbound Walgreens journals, that sort of thing. Crack one of those suckers open and you get a free tongue-in-cheek existential crisis in mechanical pencil, 'cause that's what he had on tap 80% of the time.

What bike did Tegan have and what is Lucky's? How did Lucky get his?

Tegan had a 2012 BMW F800ST! Torquey and balanced and really well cared for. Midnight blue with some subtle yellow and white accents, little bit of a Van Gogh homage (nerd).

Of course, Janus had mixed feelings on the whole racing thing, but he also recognizing that having a motorcycle was an integral part of his brother’s identity, so he arranged for a replacement — a Sprint 1050. They are both sort of sharp in the front, and honestly, like, a bike is a bike. Only thing is that a bike is not a bike, and so while Lucky does get things done with the Sprint, it’s a little bit too finicky for his taste. He ends up trading with another local bike enthusiast for something a little more his style, and that — a Yamaha FJR1300 — ends up being his trademark bike. He gets it done up in his colors and everything. :)

What are Tegan's associates doing about Lucky being around instead of him?

Aside from the fact that he just isn’t around as much as they’re used to, I think that most of his acquaintances are just convinced that Tegan sort of got scared off the scene by the crash. First one of his career, right? And bad enough to take him off the map for months. I think that what strikes them as the strangest is the way that he just doesn’t seem to engage in the racing game at all anymore — he just seems to be a full-time courier, now.

When they ask, though, he’s genial. Maybe a little vague. Something's ever so slightly off about him. It’s weird, but who wouldn’t be? The crash was pretty bad. I’m still sorting everything out. Everyone doing okay? Nothing like an NDE to really mellow someone out. He’s still welcome, though, and sometimes he takes people up on invitations on the town, but the atmosphere’s a little different now that Holloway doesn’t step up and dazzle whole rooms like he used to.

Tegan’s best friend is canny enough and close enough that she knows what Lucky’s deal is — anyway, she’s been busy in the interim with trying to suss out what got him killed in the first place. How is she coping with the recent development that the bestie has been format wiped and now perceives way more and also way less than she is comfortable with? Uh. Really well. Don't ask her any more questions.

Whether for his curiosity of meeting new people and places or distancing himself from Tegan's social circles, would Lucky consider moving somewhere else?

Lucky would love traveling, I can tell you that much. You know those people who will tour from one coast to another with a backpack and their bike? That's right up his alley.

As far as leaving permanently, though, Lucky is a creature of sentiment. He's got ties to the city, inherited though they were, and once he starts making them his own, it'll get that much harder to actually leave it behind.

He is going touring though. Someday.

Since Lucky is still legally seen as Tegan, would he get his name changed?

Maybe after enough time’s passed. Feels disrespectful to immediately start over, you know? I think a part of Lucky seeks to understand who Tegan was, and it might just be sentimentality, but wearing the name feels like a part of that, almost? You wear the name, you read the journals, you find the person still lingering in the apartment, the idle nail-carvings on the end table, the weighted blankets and sleep playlists.

In the end, if he gets too used to it, he might just start telling people that he is Lucky, yeah, but he was named after a brother who passed away. Maybe Tegan would be amused.

Since Tegan is the king of street racing, would it be fitting that he also has an unbeatable skeeball highscore in every arcade he's been to

YES. Is it anywhere near as prestigious? Absolutely not, but it's fun to see the neighborhood teens placing bets to see who can beat him.

Did Tegan have any tattoos? If so, what where they and what meaning did it have to him?

He’s got a simple one stretching horizontally above his shoulder blades, the phases of the moon. He would’ve had more, but he had too many ideas for them and often sketched down concepts in his journals and never actually committed to them. Lots of thought went into maybe getting a line or two from poems he liked inked, but he never got the chance.

If Tegan did have tattoos, would Lucky be interested in getting one as well?

The first tattoo Lucky gets might be for Tegan. Some poem on his bicep or chest. But in you is the presence that / will be, when all the stars are dead, maybe. A lonely impulse of delight / drove to thus tumult in the clouds. That one will take some thought.

Other than that, maybe a spade? Is that too on the nose?

[doomedandstoned]

Devilish Acid Doomers LáGoon Reveal The “Father of Death”

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Review by Billy Goate, with Stephanie Savenkoff

Some days you just need a good swift kick in the pants to get the week going. Portland acid doomers LAGOON got you covered with 'Father of Death' (2020). It's the band's second album so far this year, marking an especially prolific period for the Portland band. Hell, we just got through reviewing and debuting 'Maa Kali Trip' (2020) back in March. Indeed, the band reminds us, "There aren’t rules to this shit, despite what anyone may tell you. We figure, release the music as you make it. Two full lengths in 3 months, why not?" You won't hear any objections coming from this end, fellas.

The new spin also witnesses LáGoon’s core transformation from duo to trio, something which has obvious ramifications for their sound. Featured on this effort is bassest Ignacio De Tommaso of Luciferica, and Argentinian band we heaved profuse praise upon during a recent episode of The Doomed & Stoned Show. "Same skate rat doom sound," LaGoon assures fans, "just in louder form."

The bass is the first thing that hits us with a wallop straight away in the title track. When I learned that Doomed & Stoned's tireless Portland photographer Stephanie Savenkoff was likewise immersing herself in the new LáGoon album, I asked if I could share her notes. "Great fuzzy beginning," she observes. "Repetitive and trancey." The song appears to be about a godlike figure who holds the power of death in his long, boney hands. Singer Anthony Gaglia personifies him with appropriate dramatics. "Love that sneer!" Stephanie adds "Reminds me of Billy Corgan."

"Resuscitation" by contrast is "stripped down" with a "peaceful opening. Simple but moving." Were I to match the music with a narrative, it would be of someone awakening from a near-death experience -- or simply from blacking out, as I once did in a local grocery store (took down a whole shelf of Gatorade with me, too). Waking up from that otherwise peaceful step out of consciousness was a blurry, surreal ordeal. Soon, the unreality of it all came flooding back and I struggled to make sense of the events leading up to it. I imagine this is doubly so in the case of an NDE. Thus, we move from the serene to the stormy as the patient is resuscitated. Stephanie notes its "surfy center, energizing," and hints at Spanish rhythms with one final word: "Bandito!"

A "simple, mellow riff" begins "Bloodied Mouth," then "builds and intensifies," Stephanie suggests, offering us a "cool spark at the end." I can't help loving that Brady Maurer rhythm. His drumming makes this fundamental rock 'n' roll, the kind you wanna really twist to -- LaGoon's trademark menacing twist, that is.

Speaking of all things sinister, "Broken Oath," is "creepy and funereal" Stephanie says, an atmosphere conjured in no small part by guest keyboardist Adam Scott of Thunderbird Divine, who makes effective use of the Mellotron. We also hear, I believe, two sets of vocals, which I'm fairly certain is Ignacio De Tommaso's or one of his compadres.

"Soft, sweet, gentle, intense, beautiful, dark." Those were the words that converged with Stephanie's stream of consciousness for "Stab & Cut." Lyrically, it feels full of alienation and the need to protect oneself from the many enemies of happiness, some of which are more insistent than others in taking away our roadmap. Thankfully, there's still that trusty van to get us over the winds and dips of the road ahead.

As we might expect from an album conceived in quarantine, parts were recorded separately by various members of the band during lockdown, then mixed and mastered by Anthony himself. I'd say he did a damn fine job of it, with the usual low-fi ethic in play.

And now, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the title track from Father of Death, which emerges June 19th and can be pre-ordered here.

Give ear...

An Interview with LáGoon Frontman Anthony Gaglia

By Billy Goate

LáGoon is now, what, four, five years old?

Just approaching 4 years!

Hellll yeah.

It’s been a good run!

What was the last show you played before the Great Lockdown of 2020?

Took me a second to remember it’s been so long! Our last gig was March 6th alongside fellow PNWers Grim Earth, Sorcia, and Ravine!

Right on. I think Stephanie Savenkoff may have been there to snap some pics that night.

She was, indeed; always great to see her at our shows!

You've got some big things happening this month, right?

We do! Our last album, MAA KALI TRIP, has finally made its way out of the record plant (pusher back due to Covid) so this Friday it will be available for purchase, and then the Friday after that we’ll be releasing our new album Father of Death!

Listening to that opening track on ‘Father of Death’ (2020) you can tell something is different. The bass just jumps out at you with bold ferocity! You’ve got a new member? Please introduce us.

Hell yeah! The man behind that thunderous tone on the record is Ignacio De Tommaso of the band Luciferica. Ignacio and I have been collaborating on some music for the past few months, so when it came time to lay down bass on the record he was the perfect man for the job!

What was it like to jam with a third person after being a duo for so long?

Refreshing! At first being in a two piece was great because I had just left a 5 piece band, and that was a headache. But after being the two of us for a while, it feels great to have someone else on board so I can play some solos and overall broaden what I can get away with playing!

Do you feel any urgency to expand your number in real life when the bars and concert halls open up again along the West Coast?

Definitely. I want to start playing these new songs in their entirety as soon as things open up. I really feel like this album is the new sound of LáGoon, and I’d hate to step backwards for live shows.

How would you describe LaGoon’s core sound and approach to heavy music?

It’s hard for me to describe, but I think the most important piece of LáGoon’s sound is that we’re really not concerned with fitting under one particular label. We all listen to a variety of music, and I think that comes through in the music. Our biggest concern is keeping things fun and fresh for us, and we’ve just been blessed that some people seem to really dig it!

What styles of music would you say you draw the most inspiration from?

Those are constantly changing, but going into this album I was listening to a lot of 90s bands like Sonic Youth, The Pixies, The Melvins, and The Butthole Surfers. Which are bands I come back to time and time again. There’s something about the music that was made in the late '80s to early '90s that has a ‘I don’t give a fuck’ rawness to it. Anything that sounds like it was labored over isn’t the vibe for me.

Is it just me or do I feel a kind of chill surfer vibe thing going on, too? It's probably just me.

You’re not wrong! I think that comes from the type of people we are, or the amount of weed I consume haha. It’s pretty hard to get any of us upset, and so I think that there’s definitely elements of that in our music.

Right on. How have the last 3-4 months of shutdown and lockdown affected you and the people around you?

It was pretty hectic at first. I haven’t been working since the shutdown, so financially it’s definitely been a struggle. My mom and sister are both nurses as well so it’s been pretty scary to hear about all the madness in their hospitals. Overall, I’m happy to be living in the city and state I’m living in. Everyone I know has taken it seriously and that’s refreshing!

That's awesome to hear. Well, on a positive note, maybe take a few moments to tell us about the new album and walk us through all five tracks?

Would love to! This album largely came about because of all the free time I’ve had over the quarantine. As we mentioned before this is our first album as a three piece. I made that decision going into the album, so most of the tracks feature guitar solos and other elements we couldn’t pull off as a two piece.

FATHER OF DEATH

"Father of Death" is the first track on the record and the title track for the album. It sets the pace for the album with a driving tempo and the introduction of the bass as part of our sound. The song is about the grim reaper, a character that regularly surfaced in LáGoon songs.

RESUSCITATION

"Resuscitation" is the song that is just that for this band. It’s the first song of ours that couldn’t be played without the bass, and brings a new life and sound to the band. It’s also one of our longest songs and has multiple tempo changes.

BROKEN OATH

"Broken Oath" features another friend and label mate of ours Adam Scott of the band Thunderbird Divine on keys and melotron. This is one of the heavier songs on the album, and tells the story of a man cheating on his wife with a prostitute.

BLOODIED MOUTH

"Bloodied Mouth" is the most danceable of the album. This song was written at the beginning of the COVID crisis when everything first shut down. I felt a little beat down, and this song is what came out.

STAB & CUT

"Stab & Cut" is probably the furthest from any of the other songs we’ve written. I wrote it as an acoustic guitar song years ago and had forgotten about it. For some reason I played it on my electric guitar one day while I was recording other songs for the album and it brought new life to it.

That’s all of 'em!

Cool, thanks for sharing that! What instruments and gear are you working with these days?

I’ve had the same Orange CR120 head and Marshall 4x12 since the formation of the band! For a short period I was playing split through that and a bass amp, but now that we’re a three piece I’m back down to the Orange through the 4x12 and I have one distortion pedal that I more or less just use as boost. We’re lucky enough to have a deal with Baxter guitars so that’s all I play and we’re hoping to get a Baxter bass on stage soon!

First Coronavirus, then Lockdown, Recession, and Social Unrest. Any predictions on what the second half of 2020 holds in store?

I have no idea, but what I hope for is serious social reform at the federal level, a new fuckin’ president, and the return of live music. I may be asking for too much though. (laughs)

Sounds like you're just itching to get back on stage again and belt out these new tunes for a real live audience!

Absolutely! My wife is getting sick of hearing me play by myself! (laughs)

Right on, man. Well we hope to see you soon, so we'll keep our fingers crossed for a bright close to the year. Thanks so much for chatting with Doomed & Stoned!

Hell yeah, man! We appreciate your continued support. See ya out there. Stay healthy, and stay heavy!

Follow The Band

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[godownthehall-blog]

Questions and Thoughts About The OA *Spoilers*

 Here’s some obsessive thoughts about the OA. Let’s start a conversation, I want to know everybody’s thoughts! 

STEVE AND KARIM ARE BOTH OA’S BROTHER AND IT’S NOT ONE OR THE OTHER.( When Old Night kills OA for 37 seconds ((37 is apparently an angelic number, whatever that means)) he tells her that her brother was sent in every dimension to help her, and her survival depends on him. The only problem is was old night talking about her immediate situation or her overall situation? Referring to the immediate situation there’s overwhelming evidence that Karim is OA’s brother, but when it comes down to the overall situation, Steve is the one who’s pulled through consistently in both dimensions. Now we know that there are bonds so strong they permeate across every dimension. Now I think that there may be more than one brother, or even a sister?? 

WHAT IF KHATUN IS THE BAD GUY?(Khatun is constantly trying to take The OA away from the living world. She acts like she’s a loving mother figure, but what if she’s trying to deceive and stop OA from fulfilling her destiny?

WHAT IF JESSE IS THE ONE WITH THE GIFT THE MEDIUM WAS TALKING ABOUT IN SEASON 2! ( In season one, Jesse’s living room as art drawn on the walls. The images look something like a guy with plants coming out of his ears. And airplane that looks like a bird, tendrils that look something like tentacles. All of these things are in season 2) 

WHAT IF THE DIMENSION FROM SEASON 1 IS RACHEL’S NDE DIMENSION?It would make sense. Unlike everyone else who went somewhere, Rachel floated above the scene of her accident and watched it. Not to mention there are small things throughout the season that call thoughts to Rachel, like Buck seeing the flare and the backpack in the road on his way to the house, and the Braille in the FBI Councilor’s office lobby wall reads ‘Rachel.’ Maybe this is why Rachel never came back with a movement, because she didn’t go anywhere. Maybe this is why when she died in the second Dimension she was able to travel to the first. Who knows? 

Thought: The round rose window from season is very similar to the window on the door of the shack that OA goes to the second time she dies, when she looks through and sees her father. 

[cyanicselkie-blog]

Probably the reason im crazy

Hey there, Six. NDE, you say? Well… I was in a comatose state induced by severe head trauma back in 2004 I wasn’t technically pronounced dead, but I feel you would enjoy this story either way. I will say a lot of detail is hazy. However, I’m sure you can figure out why. I do apologize for the long story! I am a writer by trade and this is a story that has haunted me for 13 years.

Before my story begins, I will say that I am not a religious person. My parents taught me christianity simply because its was my family’s tradition. However, they also taught me evolution, mythology, and anything else that can be considered religious. As for myself, I believe in evolution mixed with a third party influence. Call it God or aliens, doesn’t matter to me, but I consider myself agnostic though open minded. The reason I say this is because I don’t fully believe in guardian angels.

In elementary, my parents worked a lot which usually meant someone else from my family was sent to pick me up from school and watch me til they were done. In fourth grade, I was having a regular school day that I no longer remember. After school, I hopped into the passenger seat of my grandmother’s little blue car and settled my rolling backpack in front of me. I will admit, I didn’t put my seatbelt on. Because of my small height, the belt dug into my neck and honestly was painful. Looking back, I’m sure I would have been okay if I was in the backseat or wearing the damn belt. But I didn’t and no one corrected me. I was simply a child, a few months from my 10th birthday, I didn’t know why safety mattered for I was never hurt.

Rolling away from school, we came down the hill to a four way intersection that I have paused at hundreds of times since then. The fire station on the left, the little donut shop to the right, and the antique store that blocked sight of the other road. The light turns green, the car starts, we are talking about what I learned at school, and then a honk before the chaos. The blind corner gives birth to a large red truck that I never got to see before it crushed into the small scrap metal i was now inside of. My body shoots forward and my head hurts. I slam back in my seat, dizzy and confused and aching in pain. Another hard hit from behind, I can hear shattering glass and screeching tires but the pain is gone. Everything goes black, whispered screaming of a voice I know.

I see no light, no tunnel, no angels. Only blackness with flashes of light like still awake but with my eyes closed. I couldn’t feel the seat, the paramedics taking me from the car, or the needles they stuck in me. The only sound is dripping water, steady drops in a full pool. I can barely pick up the words that have no meaning echoing past the water. A voice I never heard before, a whisper that had no face in my mind. I never could figure out the words or what happened. 3 hours later, I find myself fluttering back to reality in a hospital bed with no memory of who I was. I lost everything of my childhood. I didn’t know my best friend, my family, or even what my name was. Everything that I was… Gone. Eventually, memories came back to me, but I am still missing large portions of my life before the crash.

I’ve asked my grandmother many times about what happened. As the truck hit us, and no one is sure how this happened, the handle of the backpack flew up. Now, this is a rolling luggage bag for kids with a hard plastic handle with metal bars that pop out to roll the bastard. This handle saved my life!!! The first hit when I was just dizzy: that my head hitting it, bending the handle in the process. The second hit that came from behind didn’t leave me so lucky. My already bleeding head shatters the windshield, a large spiderweb cracked across the entire glass sheet. Thanks Dad for the hard skull. Although I still have the huge dent in my forehead and several scars in my hair from the glass, I survived.

Now… This is the part of the story where I stop normally. If this wasn’t a secret side blog, I wouldn’t continue. But screw it, right?

Soon after my crash, I was a complete wreck. 9 years old, being forced to restart my life already, and I was extremely unstable. Remembering things hurt, pretending I knew people hurt worse. I became so worried about saying something wrong or ‘not acting like myself’ that I was quickly on route to being introverted. My parents moved soon after, hoping a new school would help me, but to be honest, it only made my life worse. I was treated like I was disabled, which I guess I was, but I felt normal… As normal as I could be. 2 years after my crash, I was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder along with a few other ‘common’ mental illnesses like paranoia and social anxiety. I’ve had a therapist since I was twelve who knows more about me than my family or partner. The voice from my black out is still with me. As I grew older, I heard him more clearly to the point that I know everything he says now. At first it scared me, then it became a normality. I named him, gave him an image, and just let him do whatever he wanted. He isn’t evil, though that’s not to say he is good either. I will not explain what he is because I have no idea. A few people who know about him say its a demon, a guardian angel, or some other religious thing that basically is born to watch over me. Others say its just my own mind, like a demented consciousness of my own creation. Seeing that I bury most of my emotions and urges, that isn’t hard to believe. Maybe its just a side effect from knocking my brain around, maybe its just the schizophrenia, but it still bothers me at times with a single thought.

“Where did I go and what did I bring back with me?”

Side Note :: If I can find the crash pictures, I will gladly post them because I can already tell that people will call bullshit on my story. My grandmother had them all since it was her car. 100% this happened and I am the proof. Also, I wanted to keep the backpack that saved me, but sadly I had no say in the matter when we moved. Besides, I don’t think the hot pink butterflies match me anymore.

Side note 2 :: Since the first crash, I’ve had 4 more accidents, but none as severe. I have serious anxiety when entering any car with any driver to the point that I have a personal relationship with the 'oh shit’ bar on the passenger door. I still hyper ventilate when stopped at that intersection without fail.