#(ooc: Personal Experiences And Things.)

[incangencence]

ooc: Woke up with So Many Thoughts on the Fifteenth Doctor… and I am TRULY at war with myself about whether or not I wanna wade into fandom discourse…

I don’t…

But WOW, what a fascinating and beautiful knot the production team has created for themselves…

[darabeatha]

[primordialruin]

Sorry for my venting 😞 I received a vicious ask on my art blog that insulted my take on my muse. I haven't gotten hate in many years and it has honestly really thrown me off. I didn't expect the anti fans to be like this. It affected me a lot more than I thought it would.

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

i wrote a fanfic

[mechahero]

//Thinking about the 2000s tinged flavoring I've given Lambda. And outside of it being fun, but thinking about it from an entirely different perspective, him gravitating towards clothing and tech from that time feels a lot like he's trying experience something he was there for but never really got to experience.

[shepcdr]

head empty when it comes to putting ic words on the dash... but at the same time, agender/nonbinary yishai shepard is living in my mind rent-free i fear. thinking about this and its relation to yishai's intensely strong empathy for the geth and for edi: beings crafted as tools of labour and war (in terms of the geth) and intelligence, as tools of service to a master. things to whom autonomy was denied, their freedoms shackled, their enquiries towards their own identities — and their rights to simply be — seen as threats to be crushed underfoot.

there is a reason he rarely, rarely ever chooses the destroy ending, and a reason that he is so utterly crushed and devastated when he does. (and he is contrite until the geth and edi are brought fully back to functionality — however i plan to make that happen in my happy ending — and even after.)

[nebulastarss]

I turn to tell another that they actually don't know their favorite character at all because they projected too hard and completely changed all of their motives and misunderstood their actions

I am instantly mauled to death before I can say a word

[thebananwithaplan]

((Love it whenever I make "canon divergent" headcanons (compared to the rest of fanon/anything implied so far) for a muse of mine, only for the devs to confirm a number of them being closer to canon.

Didn't even have to ask, either.))

[primordialruin]

Big misconception about boundaries: they are for yourself, not other people. You can tell someone that something makes you uncomfortable and hopefully they'll care enough not to do it, but you should never rely on that hope. You set a boundary for yourself. If they do something after you have stated your feelings, then respect your own boundary and disengage.

[byanyan]

so anyway, thanks for reading my little dissertations on byan's gender. sorry for not writing again today, i'm just. i'm fuckin goin through it rn man

[habitual-creatures]

*It's jaw closes itself back up*

IF THAT IS N0T A THR3AT, TH3N I WILL 3NSUR3 Y0U N3V3R DI3, 3V3N IF Y0U FIND A WAY T0 SUCC3SFULLY B3 S3T FR33. AND I WILL T0RM3NT Y0U FAR W0RS3 THAN 0UR MUTUAL 3N3MY 3V3R HAS. Y0U WILL B3 PRAYING T0 WHAT3V3R G0D Y0U B3LI3V3 IN T0 G0 BACK T0 TH3 FAC3L3SS FUCK F0R IT WILL B3 A FAT3 B3TT3R THAN MIN3.

I'V3 B33N ABAND0N3D T00 MANY TIM3S T0 RISK L3TTING A FRI3ND F33L TH3 SAM3 WAY...3NSUR3 H3 KN0WS W3 AR3N'T ABAND0NING HIM AND THAT W3 N3V3R WILL. SAVVY?

~CHA0TICALLY, DISC0RD/🕕

.̸.̵.̷A̵l̸l̴ ̷c̷l̴e̷a̵r̴ ̵o̷n̵ ̷m̵y̷ ̵e̶n̶d̷.̸.̶.̵

̸Y̷o̶u̶c̴a̵n̸p̴u̷t̶a̷w̸a̴y̴t̴h̸e̷t̶h̷r̵e̵a̸t̸s̷.̸ ̷I̵ ̵j̵u̶s̶t̷ ̸d̶o̶n̸'̶t̶ ̴c̷a̶r̶e̵.̸

̶N̶o̷t̸a̴b̷o̶u̷t̶t̷h̷o̶s̵e̸.̵ ̴N̴o̶t̵a̵n̶y̸m̴o̴r̶e̸.̶

[cyberpawn]

Vale's sensory seeking behaviors are very fun because it ranges anywhere from

Vale playing music loudly in their headphones because they're seeking strong auditory stimuli

Vale throwing themself full force into their bed or couch because mmmm proprioceptive input goes BRRRRR

[shepcdr]

writing (read: thinking about and occasionally putting two words down on paper every few hours) yishai's squadmate romance... and i think he'd be sooooo heads over heels for a paragon sheploo ngl

[ofweave]

dnd with a new group today.................. irl..................

[sakurarisen]

⚡ : What typically leads to inspiration for you when it comes to writing? 💔 : What kinds of characters do you have the most trouble writing for? 💕 : When it comes to shipping do you prefer to draw things out and let them develop slowly, or do you prefer to jump right into them and skip the developmental stage?

Monday Malarkey!

⚡ : What typically leads to inspiration for you when it comes to writing?

Just about anything, honestly? But for the vast majority of it, it's music and whatever game or book I'm into at the moment, three times as much if it's the source material for the verse I'm writing. It's rare that I can pick up Genshin or the Remake games and not walk away with some kind of inspiration or plot related thought by the end of my play session, and the light novels I'm reading now have sparked up a ton of it in regards to things like Sera's health and worldbuilding. Music often makes me sit and daydream out plots, too, so it brings its own form of inspiration - Heck, the Halcyon Era storyline/Sera's full backstory was inspired by a gorgeous mecha figure promoted in an email from one of the shops I buy Gundam model kits from, though I wasn't expecting the colorscheme and words 'Snow Phoenix' that inspired me to create to turn into the massive story it has!

Tl;dr? Never let me read or play games, I make things happen after. XD

💔 : What kinds of characters do you have the most trouble writing for?

The asshole, in your face, stuck up, only here to be a jerk types. The ones whose personality is "I'm here to be a problem and have nothing else going for me". I love a good antagonist and I have a few more blunt, serious, will fight you for fun muses (Leandros, Kalistratos, and Kagota over on @thundertide being primary examples of this XD), but I really struggle when their entire personality is abrasive jerk and they don't ever act like anything but, or they're just the scheming type constantly trying to cause issues - Even just a straight antagonist who would cause problems and smirk and leave is difficult for me to grasp, regardless of if they have more to their character or not? Like I could never write Rufus Shinra even though he's a pretty well rounded character 'cause I just can't get my head around that character, and it'll never not impress me others can and write him and characters like him so well. <3

I'm also not very good with writing canon characters. I have a handful, both on @shinrarisen and Thundertide, but unless they're characters like Kunsel or Cissnei, who have more open to interpretation storylines and big gaps to fill in, I end up feeling suffocated and struggling to match what canon gives. Basically, I didn't create them, so trying to match what the creator made gets hard because I can't just step into their mind and know everything about the character, if that makes sense? It's why the canons I do have end up being at least somewhat divergent in their portrayals - Because I love them and click with them enough to write them, but I don't feel like I do a straight, fully canon compliant take any kind of justice. ...Or I just don't agree with part of their story, looking at you old Yu-Gi-Oh multimuse of mine-

💕 : When it comes to shipping do you prefer to draw things out and let them develop slowly, or do you prefer to jump right into them and skip the developmental stage?

Both, but I will say the later requires heavy trust in my partner, and isn't really exactly a 'we ship now' and go. I have maybe three incredibly close friends I trust to skip the developmental phases in a ship and the ship still work out, but we have years of friendship and rp'ing partnership behind us for that to happen; this is seen best in my Genshin multimuse, where new characters get added and already have a ship tag - But to be fair, too, it's not exactly an insta-ship, either. While Kasa ( @honorisen ) and I jump into them pretty quick, what people don't see is the behind the scenes discussion on it, deciding if the muses even get along, letting them meet in short, one off things off-dash, let the muses flirt, really talking out how things worked out... We're jumping right into it and avoiding writing out the buildup (which gets usually drabbled or even a flashback thread much later on - It's avoided at the start but ends up happening eventually anyway to flesh out the characters and their relationship(s)), but we're still in heavy talks beforehand to make sure what we're really eager to do for a ship will even work, first - And if we actually like it when it's more than just a thought, even though our muses generally always just... Click.

For the most part, thought, I LOVE developing a ship! I love the buildup, I love the working things out and getting on the same page, the seeing if the muses get along, the figuring out of "how do we navigate this" - It's a big part of why even with close friends I can just skip into the ship with, we eventually come back and develop an entire story with them and even rp or drabble out those developmental stages. Sera and Zack had years of buildup even though their blogs were launched with their ship already in place, both on dash and off, but over on Thundertide and @yoroiis, Childe and Kagota swandived into a ship, yet we've gone back and worked out not only the developmental stages, but have a couple of ideas from those stages waiting in the wings to rp out and are constantly learning more about their backstory together, both as a ship and as old, childhood best friends.

I can't just 'okay, we ship now' with most partners - I can't even do it with you, Knight, OR with Kasa, even though you're both two of the three previously mentioned friends. I can launch blogs with ships in place, I can skip the developmental stages and go right into a ship when the muses click as well as we have - But I can't just cast it aside completely. Even when a ship is decided, we're still discussing how they met, how the ship happened, how they got where they are. We still go back and rp that out, or write it up. The development may be skipped in one verse, but it's very much present in another, and mimics the first regardless. In my personal opinion, ships that don't have any development, even discussed, feel shallow to me? And I mean that as in my muses and my ships and my experiences - Everyone else's varies and it may not feel that way to someone else, and that's totally awesome! <3 I'm glad other people can pick up two characters, tell them to kiss, and it works! But me personally... I can't. I have to have something, somewhere, and I have the best partners in the world who do the same. <3

[primordialruin]

I don't think Lilith and Lucifer gave Eve the gift of knowledge/free will. Feels more like the gift of defiance. Knowing good and evil are experiences you either live through and/or give to someone else, which is a knowledge that is earned rather than learned about. You can be aware of the vilest things from just hearing about it, but if you don't have an inner experience that relates in the tiniest way to the pain within another in order to compare it to, then why would it have an impact on you? There's also the caveat where you will subconsciously eliminate relatability due to traumatic experiences which can block empathy, or in the case of those who are born with low levels of affective empathy, that can also pose a challenge. (Cognitive empathy can be learned tho) Caveats aside, if I don't know what negativity feels like, how am I expected to empathize? If I don't have a frame of reference for frustration, my response/reaction will be at best dulled and detached when I learn about an evil deed. Compassion can be built, but that's a social emotion meant to build and maintain networks. And frankly, compassion can easily exist without empathy. There is this thing called loving kindness in Buddhism that encompasses it.

When it comes to defiance, you are enabling yourself to commit an act against something, someone or yourself. It creates polarity and a ripple effect that I believe continues to echo on Earth through humans committing defiant acts all the time UNLESS there is a big enough counterforce to stop it. I believe it takes great inner strength to genuinely forgive something and move onto better pastures with or without the source that has created pain, though you have to be careful not to fall into apathy and numbness. Forgiveness isn't about dulling yourself to remove the pain. Forgiveness is finding worth in investing your energy into something that brings you a better life experience. It's a new type of emotional reality that you are developing in which the hurtful baggage of the past can't coexist anymore, so you let it go. Like, say a friend hurt you, but you find worth in rebuilding a friendship with them because they've done the work to prove themselves a reliable connection. Of course you can also forgive and move on without them. Both are good as long as the hurt was processed properly to be released. Now that's a mild example because atrocities are not on the same level as a broken friendship. The latter come and go and some return, while the former is extremely complex to move on from, but not impossible. Cases of it exist. They're probably unpopular, but they exist.

Now, defiance can also be a good thing depending on the context. Such as, defying a tyrant's system of oppression, but once again - that's still an act of evil because you cannot have good without it. Good cannot exist without polarity unfortunately. The good you do onto someone is evil to someone else and vice versa. That's where consideration and discernment comes into place. Consequences reach everyone one way or another... Black and white melts together, forming various shades of grey. Think of the spider metaphor - what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.

But back to defiance. What is defiance if not a type of sabotage? You defy someone's right to safety by jeopardizing it to meet your needs. That's what evil is. It comes from unreliability which is what I feel has made the whole thing blow up with Lucifer's dangerous ideas that defy Heaven's reliable order, Lilith's defiance in the face of authority and her enabling Lucifer to be as dangerous as he wanted to be, and them enabling & inviting Eve to commit an act of defiance too. It's the dichotomy that was the evil that created Hell.