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squishmallow36 · 1 year

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Fitz Vacker and the Secret Museum: I am Howard Carter

^note: title follows naming conventions of the original xavier riddle and the secret museum episodes

Summary: Biana and Fitz's family owns a museum and also a secret museum that can go back in time. Dex is friend who gets brought along for reasons. In this oneshot, they go back in time to visit Howard Carter because Fitz can't solve a crossword puzzle.

Word count: 3587 (the exact same number as my Alan Turing one. Are you proud of me? You should be)

Tw: nausea, dizziness

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @the-blender-of-the-genders (did Bob deactivate? Someone confirm for me please) @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @immersion-blender @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Ready for adventure? 🎵Who's that kid who can travel through time? Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Which great heroes will we find? Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Every single boy and girl Has what it takes to... Change the world! Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum! Dex! And Biana! And the Secret Museum! Dr. Zoom and the Secret Museum! Fitzroy Vacker and the Secret Museum. Shhh.🎵

Fitz steps out into the blank white space created by the Secret Museum. Dex isn’t totally sure how it can conjure things out of nowhere, but if it can manage time travel, it can do whatever it pleases for all xe cares.

Xe doesn’t even understand how the Secret Museum came to be. Or how the time travel works.

Xe gives him a thumbs up that xe turned the camera on and he says in his gorgeous, crisp accent, “Hi there, and welcome to the show!”

Around a year ago, they started filming their adventures through history and posting them on YouTube because they were bored. Everyone watching--mostly kids, at least, according to YouTube--is led to believe that they’re making extremely historically accurate videos, not actual time travel.

Besides, it’s free advertisement for Fitz and Biana’s parents’ non-secret Museum, and it’s not like there’s a rule that says the Secret Museum has to be, you know, secret. Other than the name but that could’ve been created arbitrarily somewhere in the Vacker line

“Today we’re going to meet an ah-mazing person: Howard Carter,” Fitz continues, running a hand through his newly dyed dusty rose hair.

Dex sighs inwardly. Oh, he looks so good in pink.

Another thing xe doesn’t know is if Fitz’s voice catches on the first syllable of ‘amazing’ on purpose or that’s one of his adorable unconscious habits.

Xe steps out in front of the camera to stand next to him. “Howard Carter was an Egyptologist.”

Biana pokes out from stars know where. “That means he studied Ancient Egypt, which existed for more than three thousand years and was founded more than five thousand years ago!”

A wave of dizziness hits xem and xe, subconsciously, reaches for Fitz’s hand to steady xemself. Time scales like that have always made xor head spin, even if xe has been doing this for a decade.

Five year olds probably shouldn’t be trusted with time travel, but that’s what you get when you meet someone in kindergarten and then proceed to never leave them alone for more than five minutes. Which is hyperbole, of course. If that was literal, Dex would’ve run away long, long ago.

Fitz’s hand squeezes xor own. “He discovered the tomb of King Tutankhamun, and in it, tons of artifacts.”

Dex looks at Fitz to avoid being aware the camera exists. “He spent nearly a decade excavating and cataloging his finds.”

“And he may have released a curse on himself and his fellow archaeologists for disturbing King Tut’s tomb,” Biana adds, smiling evilly.

Fitz is the only one of the three that cares enough to attempt to pronounce the fancy words. That is, words with more than, like, five letters. And he’s good at it, so everything works out. Biana doesn’t care enough to try and Dex’s face never wants to cooperate.

Dex narrowly avoids burying xor face into Fitz’s shoulder. “Curse? What do you mean curse?”

“Oh boy. Maybe we should start the show.” He presses the large red button that only serves to offer a nice place to cut the footage while editing. It makes Dex’s life marginally easier, which makes up for itself a thousand times over.

The next day, ae finds Fitz sitting in one of the benches that are more comfortable than they look across from Verdi.

“Hey, Fitz. Fancy seeing you here,” ae says, sitting next to him.

“Oh, hi, Biana,” he replies, not even looking up.

Dex wanders past a few minutes later. “Ooh a crossword puzzle!” Xe sits on Fitz’s other side despite the lack of space. “Five across is Charlie Chaplin.”

Fitz’s eyes flicker to Dex’s. “Wait, really?”

He scribbles the answer down as Dex nods.

“Yeah, don’t you remember meaning him?”

Biana supplements, “We had to cheer up Laedy Sassyfur. Ce got grape jellied. It was a very sad day.”

“Oh, right…” Fitz studies his puzzle. “Any guess what three down is? It’s my last one.”

“Most famous dinosaur.” Biana reads. “Why don’t you ask Verdi? Ve’s a T. rex. Ve might know the T. rex George Washington or something.”

Fitz exhales slowly. “Bi, fossils can’t talk. Even if ve did know the T. rex equivalent of George Washington, it’s not like ve could tell us.”

“Well, with that attitude, I guess you’ll just have to leave it blank. Unless…?”

Dex already knows where aer thought process took aer. Xe mumbles, “Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it…”

“To the Secret Museum!”

Biana starts running, Fitz trailing a few paces behind aer.

“You said it,” Dex sighs. “Wait up!” Xe chases after them.

It looks like Fitz’s knee is having a not-horrible day. We’ve at least got that going for us.

Biana has decided that today they get to enter through the Egypt exhibit, where they have to line up with hieroglyphs they’ve been taller than for several years, but at least the Secret Museum still recognizes the attempt as valid so it doesn’t really matter. Unlike the dragon throne that fits at max two of them, and that doesn’t work.

“I wonder who the Secret Museum will send us to meet,” Fitz says, tracing the familiar figures. It’s a replica so there’s no reason to worry about his human oils destroying precious artifacts.

“And where we’ll go!” Biana smiles.

“And when,” Dex finishes, slightly green at the mere thought of the dizziness that comes with time travel.

They run through the wings of the scarab beetle that open up to reveal the Secret Museum in all its glory. It takes a slide down a fireman pole to actually reach it though.

As ae begins sliding down, ae calls out, “Look out below!” Nearing the ground, ae greets Keefe, a spherical red robot that assists them on their travels.

Fitz is next, sliding down the pole and waiting a reasonable distance away for Dex to follow him after running a mental pros and cons list for the eighty-four thousandth time.

Keefe beeps at xem like an affectionately exasperated parent as xe hits the ground ungracefully. Fitz helps xem up and they head together toward the central dais, Fitz beginning to hum excitedly.

Biana is already waiting for them up there. “We’re getting something!”

Up at the podium, Dex begins studying the artifact suspended in the bluish haze. “What is it?”

“Well, it looks like two weird-looking ovals. And they’ve got a line under them?” Biana describes, unhelpfully.

“Whatever they are, they belonged to him,” Fitz points at the curved screen displaying a guy with a mustache and a hat, “Howard Carter. That’s who we’re going to meet!”

“In England, in 1892,” Biana reads from aer side of the screen.

“That’s over a hundred years ago!” Dex might be ahead in math but this and making sure xe gets enough cheese sticks is the only time xe uses it outside of class.

That’s not that long ago…I won’t get too dizzy. It’ll be fine.

“I just hope he knows a lot about dinosaurs,” Fitz says, unfolding the crossword he jammed into his pocket to glance at it one last time for a reason Dex couldn’t describe.

“Only one way to find out…Ready for adventure?” Biana asks, holding out aer hand for a hand stack.

“Ready!” Fitz replies immediately, laying his hand on top of aers.

“...solid maybe.” Dex leans into Fitz for a moment, trying to hold onto the feeling of not spinning midair. Xe joins the hand stack. “Okay, now I’m ready.”

Keefe makes robot noises as they begin levitating.

Biana announces, “Here we go!” with that saccharine sweetness only achievable by a potent blend of caffeine and bi lesbianism.

Fitz ruffles Dex’s hair as he says, “It’s happening!”

“Hang on Laedy Sassyfur!” Biana calls, balancing cer on aer head for safekeeping. Don’t ask.

Scenes from all throughout history whirl around them, as does Dex’s stomach. Xe latches onto Fitz’s arm desperately in a last ditch effort as the time currents do their best to make xem somersault.

With a zap, a gorgeous Victorian estate materializes around them, filled wall to wall with artifacts. The simple white cards describing each object are short, most barely filling a sentence.

“So this is England in 1892,” says Fitz, already distracted by a pretty table. You can’t really blame him. It’s an octagon.

“Hey, I wonder if that’s Howard Carter,” Biana says, referring to a boy across the room that looks vaguely like the picture in the Secret Museum.

Keefe beeps a few times, confirming Biana’s theory. Fitz nods, “Yep. Thanks, Keefe.”

Biana doesn’t wait to ditch Dex and Fitz in their native nerd habitat. “Hi there,” ae says to Howard, almost as focused in painting a painting of an old pot as Fitz is the crown molding.

“Hello,” he replies absentmindedly.

Ae points to each of them as ae introduces them. “I’m Biana, that’s Fitz, and that’s Dex. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Howard, lovely to meet you.”

“That’s a nice painting you’ve got there. Wait…does that bowl have feet? Is it supposed to have feet?” Dex asks.

“Well, not much is known about the bowl itself, but it’s been dated to circa 3700-3450 BCE, and the hieroglyph in front means ‘to bring.’” Howard answers.

Biana gets distracted by another interesting pot, asking, “What’s this pot? It has a face.”

Has a face it certainly does. And it’s not the most beautiful face that could’ve been carved into a pot. But maybe that’s the erosion. It’s probably a kjipillion years old. It’s allowed to be a little dented.

“It looks like one of your art projects, Bi.” Fitz smiles.

Biana laughs. “Yeah, it does. Maybe someday I’ll be featured in an art museum.”

“I’m not quite sure what that pot is,” Howard ays. “Check the plaque under it. I find that looking around for a bit and looking from a new perspective can sometimes find you the answers you’re searching for.”

“Good idea,” Biana nods, reading from the plaque, “Bes was a common deity depicted on pottery throughout Egyptian history. He was portrayed as short and ugly, with his face and tail resembling a lion. Because children were not judgmental of his appearance, he became the protector god of children. Huh. Interesting.”

Fitz leans against the door frame, trying to look around without actually wandering around. “Does this place have a dinosaur exhibit?”

“No, sorry. You’re going to have to go south if you want dinosaurs. Around here, history’s a bit more recent. Got some nice Bronze Age artifacts, though.”

“I don’t see how this is supposed to help me solve my crossword puzzle.”

Keefe beeps, queuing up their next location because nothing can be simple and let Fitz figure out the answer before going to a dozen places. We couldn’t have Googled the answer?

Dex sighs. “Oh, great. More time travel. Just what I needed today.”

The time travel magic zaps them to the middle of the desert. Which isn’t actually that far from civilization, but has all the sand that comes with it.

“Where are we?” Biana asks, spinning around like ae’s playing geoguessr.

“When are we?” Dex asks. Xe would join aer if xe wasn’t so dizzy already from the time travel. It’s probably in the realm of threeish decades later if the nausea is any indication.

Keefe beeps.

“Keefe says we’re in Luxor, Egypt, in 1922,” Fitz answers.

Biana stops spinning suddenly. “Hey, look, it’s Howard!” Ae waves to him. “Hi, Howard!”

Howard approaches them, brushing dust from his clothes. It doesn’t seem to make an impact.

Fitz smiles. “This is an ah-mazing operation you’ve got going here.”

“Thanks.” Howard takes off his hat and runs a hand through his hair as he looks back. “I’m the site manager here at Wādī al-Mulūk (وادي الملوك).”

The way Fitz flinches is only explained by Biana elbowing him, whisper-hissing, “Fitz, we need the translator.”

Howard doesn’t give Fitz a chance to turn it on, instead explaining, “It’s the Valley of the Kings, to you and me. There are dozens of pharaohs’ tombs around here, although we haven’t found much over these past few seasons of work.”

Dex draws in the sand with xor foot as xe comments, “Well, that’s certainly disappointing.”

At the same time Biana asks, “What’s a pharaoh?”

Someone clearly did not read aer Kane Chronicles. That’s something ae should know.

“So you know how there are kings, emperors, tsars, et cetera?” Howard asks, establishing his background information just in case ae has been living under a rock for a while.

Which is…entirely possible.

“And presidents!” Biana adds excitedly to Howard’s list. Ae’s one goal in life has been to be president since before ae could walk.

“Well, that’s a bit different because presidents are elected to their office instead of power being passed down hereditarily, but that could also work as an analogy. A pharaoh is simply the Ancient Egyptian term for a monarch.”

“Ooh, cool. When I’m president, I should change my official title to pharaoh.”

Howard smiles amusedly. “There is a bit of messiness regarding when pharaohs actually began to be called pharaohs, as is with everything in Ancient Egypt. There’s loads of history and we only have small bits and pieces of it.”

Fitz, ever helpful, asks, “Anything we can do to assist in filling in some of those gaps?”

Howard considers for a moment, likely debating whether he can trust them anywhere near the delicate ancient artifacts. “Well…we are running a bit low on water carriers at the moment. All the water bottles are here, it’s just a matter of running them back and forth from town.”

Biana smirks. “Come on, Fitz. Laedy Sassyfur and I bet we can carry more water than you!”

No one knows why ae has to make this into a competition, but for some reason ae does. He doesn’t even try to keep up with aer. Ae needs to get aer excess energy out somehow and trudging around in the dry heat is a good way to do that.

About two steps later, Fitz’s foot decides to not cooperate as he falls forward. This is why we don’t trust him outside.

“Fitz! Are you okay?” Dex holds out a hand to help him up.

“Yeah, I just tripped on that very annoying rock right there.”

Fitz steps away from the most evilest stone ever as Howard looks closer, studying it, brows drawn.

“Hang on, this rock doesn’t seem to have cleaved naturally.” He brushes away some dust with a brush, even if it doesn’t do much as more sand falls onto it.

Darth Vader’s anti-sand rant makes much more sense now. Doesn’t make it a good line of dialogue, but at least it is understandable.

Howard calls back to the people milling about just, you know, around. “Can I get an extra pair of hands over here?”

Clearly Dex and Fitz aren’t qualified enough to be trusted with anything.

“You know, that kind of looks like a staircase,” Dex remarks.

“Indeed it does, Dex. And it might just lead to something.”

An unknown length of time that feels like it’s been years passed in the stifling heat, and everyone has sand in places they didn’t know they had.

Fitz stops for a breather, pushing his hair, on the opposite side of artfully messy, back with a hand. “Ugh, it’s been hours. How long does it take to dig out a single staircase?”

“Laedy Sassyfur is so tired ce could fall over!” Biana adds, and Laedy Sassyfur seems to sigh.

“Me too, Lady Sassyfur. Me too,” Dex agrees.

Fitz looks at the few steps that have been unearthed at an excruciatingly slow pace, blinking heavily.

“Am I seeing things or are there two circley things in the sand? Kinda…like the things in the Secret Museum!”

Howard holds up a notebook open to a page with a similar symbol on it. “Do they look like this?”

“Well, there’s nothing in the middle, but yeah,” Fitz answers.

Howard climbs back up to surface level, preparing a whole lecture for Biana, Fitz, and Dex. Because this is probably something they should’ve known.

But considering Bi didn’t know what a pharaoh was, he can’t assume that they know anything.

“Those “circley things” are called cartouches. They’re the way Ancient Egyptians denoted a name in Hieratic script. Usually they’re filled in with hieroglyphs spelling the person’s name, but something must have worn this one away. So there’s a very good chance this is yet another pharaoh’s tomb, and hopefully we learn something interesting from it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must send a telegram to Lord Carnarvon at once. Thank you, Fitz. I wouldn’t have been able to see anything from where I was.”

As he walks off into town, Fitz is hit by a realization. “So…looking from a new perspective helped him find the answers he was looking for!”

Keefe makes some robot noises to deliver one final bit of trivia. There’s speculation that Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon were in a relationship of the cognate variety. Do with that information what you will.

“Yeah, I can definitely see that,” Biana replies to it. “Those were definitely gay little thoughts going on in that gay little head when he mentioned him.”

Fitz simply nods, keeping on a one track mind of that crossword puzzle. You can’t really blame him, though.

“Keefe? Let’s go home. I know how to finish my crossword puzzle!”

A zap takes them back to the present time in the museum lobby across from Verdi, Dex’s head left spinning.

Fitz picks up the crossword puzzle, thinking so hard it’s surprising steam isn’t coming out of his ears. “A new perspective…like upside down!”

“That seems incredibly unsafe,” Dex mumbles, wobbling to a nice, safe spot on a bench to live for a few weeks.

Fitz climbs up one of the lion statues, attempting and failing to twist around enough to see upside down. “It’s fine, Dex.”

“You sound like Keefe!”

This spot apparently was not good enough as he gets up and runs to the stairs to get to the balcony.

“What are you doing now? Wait up!” Dex calls after him.

“You know, it would be easier to let him run around.” Biana says. Like ae’s superior to them.

“If you don’t make sure your own brother doesn’t fall off the second floor, I’ll have to.”

Biana huffs, most of which is exaggeration. “He’s your boyfriend. You get to take care of him.”

Before Dex can respond with a well-deserved eye roll, Fitz asks, “Hey, what does that plaque under Verdi say?”

Biana is closer, so ae gets to read. “This full-size Tyrannosaurus rex model was made in the 1960s. At that time, only five T. rex skeletons had ever been found. All were incomplete, leaving many questions about this prehistoric animal unanswered. Since then, paleontologists have uncovered more than 25 additional T. rex skeletons, including some that are nearly complete.”

“Tyrannosaurus rex fits!” As Fitz fills in the last page, holding it above his head, Dex convinces xemself that he’s doing to drop the pencil right onto xor head. “Now onto the next one! Anyone know anything about World War Two?”

Biana promptly leaves as Dex gets xor phone out to Google the answers secretly so xe looks smarter than xe is.

An hour and another crossword later, Fitz wanders into the white space of filming intros and outros, looking for Biana. “What’s a seven-letter word for a three dimensional triangle?”

Biana rolls aer eyes. “Another crossword puzzle?”

“Yeah, why?” he asks innocently. There’s no innocence behind those gorgeous teal eyes.

“This is the third one today! And it’s not even noon yet!”

“And to think, I never would’ve finished the first one if it wasn’t for Howard Carter.”

Biana glares into Keefe’s robotic soul.

Dex finally finds them, making sure the camera is on (it’s always on. Fitz and Biana don’t seem to know how to turn it off.) because this would probably make a good outro after some editing, and it doesn’t require writing an actual script. And not having to do things is a good thing.

“Thanks to him, we know so much about Ancient Egypt. Even if he did release a curse on us all,” xe says not trying to disguise the fact xe’s talking to a camera.

Fitz smiles, ruffling a hand through Dex’s hair. “Curses aren’t real, darling.”

“How do you know that?” xe replies, eyes narrowed.

“Because it’s an unfalsifiable hypothesis.” Before Dex tries to argue that’s exactly why curses are real, Fitz turns to the camera, escaping this conversation by saying, “Thanks for joining us on our ah-mazing adventure to meet Howard Carter, who used to be a kid, just like you and me!”

Biana says aer pre-scripted line with zero enthusiasm. “So kids like you can change the world. I am Biana.”

“I am Dex.”

“I am Fitz, and I know that looking around for a bit and looking from a new perspective can sometimes find you the answers you’re searching for, just like Howard Carter.”

Fitz smiles his movie-star smile, squeezing Dex’s hand.

As their eyes meet, it shifts, becoming more real, eyes crinkling in the corners.

But before Dex is forced to spend another century editing footage, Biana turns off the camera.

“Since when can you turn that off?” xe asks, exasperated.

Ae smirks, wandering off to who knows where. Probably off to go find Sophie. Or have gay thoughts over world leaders. Maybe both at the same time.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #fedex #detz #dex dizznee #kotlc dex #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #xavier riddle and the secret museum

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the-baddest-of-batches · 1 year

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Dar'Aliit: Chapter Thirteen - Big Picture (Sneak Peak)

20 BBY Capital of Roche

"R3, talk to me," I lunge off the rooftop and hit the other one rolling. I've cleared a second street and I'm hurting. The bolt that pierced my shoulder armor a few blocks back stings, but I keep moving. I can fire one handed.

Another map pings up. The droids are moving toward the last bridge. It looks like that tactical droid is planning to cut us off.

The chatter in my ears tells me it's working. Fang Company has heavy casualties. Addie is doing everything he can to reduce the impact on the civilians, but they're getting spread thin. We have to put an end to this.

I pant and crouch on the edge of the roof. Shading my eyes I can see the tanks moving down the street. They've got a couple of squads on them, so I jump down, land hard, and bust in a window with my elbow. Someone hidden inside screams. I clamber through and put a finger to my helmet.

A quick glance around tells me enough. One kid. Two dead parents. Poor thing. I walk over to where a little girl is curled up under a table and crouch down.

"Shhh, shhh, I'm here to help."

The little girl is mortified. She stares at my faceless helmet and I'm not sure she can tell me from a droid.

I pull it off, wincing, and she blinks as if realizing I'm human. Her hands stick out. She's probably no older than ten. "Where's my mommy?"

I don't know if I should offer to hold her or not. I don't really have time, but I have to make sure she's safe. I glance around. She's hiding well under this table, but if the droids bust back in here and she screams again—

Her hands no longer reach for me. She's looking at my helmet and trying to figure out how it works. Clearly she's a bright kid, just scared out of her mind. She's distracting herself from everything outside.

I push the helmet toward her and route chatter to my comm before muting it. Wouldn't want her to hear the desperation of the outside world right now. "Hold onto this for me, okay? Keep it safe, and don't make a sound. I'll get it when I come back."

She nods and curls back up. I stand up and grab a blanket. "Here," I drape it over the table so it obscured her from vision. She won't see the corpses this way. Poking my head under, she looks up, still shaking.

"Have you ever played forts?" I ask. Maybe that's a silly question. She's a normal kid.

"Hide and seek?" she offers.

"Sure," I manage a smile. "You hide, I'll seek."

That gets the mildest giggle out of her. "But you already found me, mister."

"Well hide here, and I'll pretend I don't know," I say.

She nods rapidly and wraps her limbs around my helmet. I head out.

It's a massacre in the streets. There's white plastoid everywhere and civilians too. I swallow bile and keep moving in the alleys, crouching behind walls, and finally I can see the main body of them. Fang Company, or what's left of it, is holding them back on the north and south. According to the map on my wrist comm, the tactical droid has to be here.

I know I'm supposed to bring the droid in, but I'd like to smash its head to smithereens.

Crouching low in another alley, I take stock of what I have. Low on ammo, low on grenades. I can't get through an army alone.

A deeply tanned face with white stripes appears in a window beside me and I almost curse aloud.

It's a man, older than me. He looks side to side, and then opens the door near the window that leads into the alley I'm hunkered down in. He ushers me inside. I follow and the door slams shut behind me.

"Your men are pinned down," he murmurs in a heavy accent. "We have seen them being slaughtered."

"I know," I try not to scoff in his face. I don't want to think about this.

There's others with him in the room. Men, women, all older, but not old. Some of them grip weapons. My eyes lock onto one woman's rifle. I pull away from the man who invited me in.

"Can I have that?"

"Veti," the man behind me nods.

Veti, the woman, holds it out. I pick it up. It's crude, a civilian weapon, but it's got ammo. And a very nice anti armor attachment on it.

"You should all stay here. Stay safe," I say.

"No!" A man in the back stands up.

"Jo'r."

"No!" Jo'r shouts again. He shoves forward. He's younger. "I want to fight. I want to see those droids burnt to slag!"

I step in front of him and put out my hand. His deep black eyes lock with mine and I give him a warning look. "Fighting gets you nowhere but in a shallow grave. Stay here, stay with your family, and stay alive."

Jo'r looks past me at the elderly man. He nods.

"Let the soldier handle this, Jo'r."

"Don't be a martyr," I whisper. Jo'r hangs his head and I leave him be. "Thank you," I tell Veti as I head to the door. I'll have to prop it on my good shoulder but now I should be able to get a clear shot at the tanks.

Outside again, and with some difficulty, I make it onto the next roof. I stretch out and set the rifle against my right shoulder and stare down the sights. I tap my wrist comm.

"Captain, can you read me?"

"We're getting slaughtered over here, Kian. Any wise insights to end this?"

"Sorry, sir. Working on it. The droids went after the civvies."

"I know. Where are you now?"

"Staring at your shebs, sir. I can see why the ladies like you.."

"Well don't blow off my best feature."

I chuckle. The humor is our defiance in the face of death. "Hold out a little longer, if you can." I try to keep the sadness out of my voice. I know we're all rather used to this by now. Enough to quip and joke about it, but I still can't stand to think of all the armor tags that will come back without a body.

"Copy that." Addi's communication fizzles out and I'm left alone. Me and the tinnies.

I sight up the head tank facing north and load up a shot. The tank creeps forward and right into range. I fire.

The anti armor round sears the hull and the air shakes as the tank explodes, spitting shrapnel everywhere. I grin to myself, sight up another, and take them out one by one. Like picking off fish caught in a barrel.

"One down," Addie says over the comms. I finish sighting up the last tank before seeing the square head poking out of it. There you are.

"Captain, can you and your men handle the rest?" I ask.

"Without their tanks? They're scrap."

"Got it. I'm going in to retrieve my target."

I drop the rifle, pick up my decee and drop back down into the street. Republic troops come charging into the droids. I charge forward, running between the shrapnel and making my beeline for the last tank. A couple of troopers climb up onto it and plant sticky bombs on the turret.

"You can't do that!" shouts a droid.

"Halt!" cries the tactical droid.

The turret blasts in half. I use the smoky cover to clamber up the sides and stand atop the tank. I lower my decee at the tactical droid's blank pinched face.

"Surrender," I tell him.

"You can not do this. This is an outrage!" It tries waving it's tinny arms in a futile protest.

I squat down and grip the head with my good hand. This thing has no way to know I'm out of shots. With one clean jerk, I rip the head off and the droid goes limp, falling back into the tank.

"Someone throw me a grenade!" I yell.

An unprimed detonator gets tossed up. I snag it, prime it, and lob it right back down into the tank before sliding off it and hitting the ground with my prize in hand.

The tank goes up in flames.

"Kian!" Addie waves me down. I look over at him, but glance back at the streets. "Hold on sir," I say.

"Kian, we need to get–"

"I know." I turn and toss him the droid head. "I'll be right back." I don't wait for further questions, or comments, I just leave them with the intel, and head back down the street.

4 BBY Techno Union Factory

"Battle droids, sir."

I about slam my fist against the wall. "Course it's kriffing battle droids!"

This was supposed to be a simple mission. Hunt down the Jedi Knight and somehow avoid stepping on the Inquisition's toes. Or well, in my case, step on all of them and see how many break.

But this abandoned foundry was not supposed to be filled with battle droids. We've already found plenty of signs of life, though. For a planet ravaged by deadly bio disease, someone's making a clear living out here.

R3 beeps from my side. I look down at him.

"What?"

He wants to find the control panel. I wave him to it. "Go on."

"Sir," Dross looks at me. "Can we hold up against Battle droids?"

"They're just tin cans, Dross. We'll be fine." My lips curl. "Now c'mon, we have droids to scrap."

Zur follows, as does Jay. I can tell they're all timid. I'm not scared, just kriffing angry. And I thought those droids were done for after the war.

I can see them. Sand colored B1's marching right out of their holding units. I reach for my blaster.

They stop.

"Uh, sir? Is that normal?"

I take a step forward. Maybe they don't see us. Maybe they're just plain dumb. Not one of them so much as flinches.

"Can we just...walk past them?" Zur continues.

Blaster ready, I walk up to them. They don't move. I could shoot one in the head right now if I so wanted. I certainly want to.

"They're decom," Dross confirms. "R3 got into their programming, it looks like. We're clear to move ahead."

R3 trundles happily into the hall. I give him a side eye. "You'd better not turn those things on us, or I will turn you into slag," I hiss as he passes.

R3 beeps mischievously. I hate that droid sometimes. But I admit, he's a solid team member.

I glance at the battle droids as we pass. They don't belong in this day and age anymore. That war is over, but the fight isn't done.

I focus on the hall and lead my team down it. Greater threats wait for us. I scowl and let the hatred boil back into my veins like adrenaline. You can't hide, Jedi.

New Chapter coming on Wattpad and AO3 tomorrow!

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