#(this is also helping me feel better about driscoll lol)

[27emailsicantsend]

Ok so I read ur muffy second kiss fic thing and I got an idea but I suck at writing so I thought I’d ask you to write it lol but like the idea is that Marty is always trying to be the brave one bc that’s his way of showing Buffy that it’s ok to be emotional but one day Marty has a bad day and it’s Buffy’s turn to be the comforter (this idea might suck oop)

Marty’s Loss: A Muffy One Shot

“Yeah, ok, thanks for letting me know,” Marty said as he hung up the phone. He turned around to see all of his friends laughing and having a good time. They had decided to go bowling again, but it was starting to feel the bowling alley was jinxed. He watched as the rest of the world faded around him and his friends seemed to be in slow motion.

Andi was making jokes, smiling wide as she watched Cyrus roll the ball granny-style down the lane. TJ playfully smacked Andi’s arm with the back of his hand telling her to “cut it out”. Jonah was sitting opposite them, talking to Amber. They were having a light-hearted conversation. And then there was Buffy. She was so relaxed. Her black curls bouncing as she held herself laughing with Andi, TJ, Cyrus.

Buffy was so real and raw. Marty couldn’t believe they had already been dating almost a month. Ever since she admitted she liked him, she became more available emotionally. She was never really bad at this, however. She was honest when she rejected Marty (Marty shuddered as he pushed this thought away), bold when it came to standing up for her friends, straightforward with liking Marty, and he’d even seen her get teary eyed when she was afraid he rejected her.

All he did was joke with her or get serious, but never really spoke about what upset him. Even when he was rejected (shudder), he just pushed her away and moved on quickly to Rachel. Which he now acknowledged was an extremely bad idea.

Rachel was here last time and made the bowling alley an extremely uncomfortable place for him to visit due to the bad memories. He agreed to come though, in hopes that his bad memories would be replaced with new ones. They were new memories, just not new good ones, after this phone call.

He continued to watch from a distance when suddenly he saw Buffy smile at him and wave him over. He smiled and walked up to her. She placed her hand on his arm and quietly asked, “hey, everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Whose turn is it?” Marty said quickly, faking a smile, hoping to brush past having to talk.

The kids understood he wanted a change in subject and Cyrus said, “yours!”

Marty looked up at the score board. He and Buffy were about tied (since it was obviously a competition), TJ was in second, and Amber was doing surprisingly really well. It’s not that he didn’t think Amber would be good at bowling... well, actually it was. She seemed a little preppy for his taste and Rachel was too. Rachel wasn’t good at bowling because “germs” and not the right color of bowling ball, so Marty was surprised Amber was taking to it so naturally and easily. He liked this side of her, she showed progress, unlike his ex.

Marty bowled a strike with no hesitation. He walked off the platform as Buffy walked on for her turn, saying competitively, “Weak. I’ll do better”.

Marty tried to be flirty, but he knew that his comeback had a layer of sadness in his voice. “Nice try, Driscoll”.

The gang continued to bowl a couple more turns for each person. Even in one game of bowling, with this many people playing it took forever. They should have split the amount of people into two teams to make it quicker, but they all wanted to be on the same game, so it took a lot longer. Because of the time, Marty started to get pretty hungry. He walked up to the food counter and ordered some taco tots, Buffy’s favorite.

While he waited for the food, he heard a voice next to him, “one order of taco tots, please”.

Buffy.

“Hey, Driscoll, couldn’t stand to see my score so you had to walk away?”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing?” Buffy said with a polite grin.

They stood in silence for a second and Buffy turned to look at him again. “Marty, are you sure you’re ok? You’ve been really quiet since that phone call. I can tell something is up”.

“Buffy, I promise, I’m fine. Let’s just enjoy this time with your friends, ok?”

Buffy bit her lip, contemplating. She nodded and said, “ok” quietly.

Both orders of taco tots were set on the counter and they both walked back together in an awkward silence.

Marty continued to watch and smile, trying not to seem too obvious he was sad. He noticed Buffy look over at him a few times and even thought he heard Andi and Cyrus discussing him and Buffy having relationship problems at one point. They hadn’t had any relationship problems so far and Marty didn’t consider this one at all. He was just sad and needed space and he wished his friends respected that a little more.

The game was finally starting to come to a close and so he thought everyone was going to be done. They all wanted to play another game, however.

Marty pretended to check his phone and said his mom needed him home, but that they should all stay. He walked outside and around the corner of the building where no one could see him. He slid to the ground, pulled his knees to his chest, holding them with his arm, and then buried his head into his knees. He began to cry. A lot.

He sobbed and sobbed. It was a quiet alley way, thankfully. The bowling alley was far from a lot of people and he was hidden behind a dumpster.

He couldn’t stop crying.

He didn’t really have thoughts except for how sad he was and wondering how this could happen to him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He panicked, thinking it might be an employee and that he wasn’t supposed to be there. He wiped the tears off of his face quickly with his sleeve and stood up. The moment he stood up he came face to face with Buffy.

She looked at him tenderly and then wrapped her arms behind his neck. He wrapped his arms around her waist and began to cry again. He sobbed into her shoulder. He didn’t feel embarrassed at all by this, surprisingly.

He was scared to be emotional in front of her because she already carried so much of that weight on her own. She dealt with so much. School, friends, Andi leaving, coaching... he just wanted to root her on and be a good boyfriend. He was afraid if he was too dramatic it might chase her away. That she couldn’t handle him being sad, because she already had too many emotions of her own and with her friends she had to deal with.

But this felt different. He felt a unique comfort in her embrace. One that said she wasn’t going anywhere- figuratively and literally. She continued to hold him until his crying slowed. When it started to slow down, he pulled away, their arms still locked in their same positions however.

Buffy gave him a small smile that seemed to say, “I’m here. I understand. You don’t have to talk, but if you want to. I’m here”.

Marty smiled at her and said, “thanks”.

She gave a polite chuckle and said, “anytime”.

Marty loved that about Buffy. She knew what to do and what to say. She knew her limits with him. He felt comfortable opening up to her. He had to at some point. He sat back down against the wall, extending his legs. He looked up at Buffy and patted the ground next to him, furthest from the dumpster.

Buffy slid down next to him, this time her knees to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She laid her head down on her knees, looking at him with sincerity.

Marty let out a small breath through his nose and looked ahead of him as he spoke. He knew that if he looked at Buffy, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his emotions in tact.

“My mom called. My grandma has been in the hospital the last two weeks. She finally passed”.

Buffy could have said something during the silence, but didn’t. Instead, she just kept listening.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her, Buff. I mean, I knew it was getting close, but I spent almost every weekend growing up at her house. Since my dad isn’t around anymore, she helped my mom to raise my sister and me”. Marty giggled. “She used to have a cookie jar. It had the same cookies in it my whole life, but my sister and I would fight over them every time we got there. We would race into the house. I remember grammy saying, ‘if you wanted the cookies so bad, you should have gone to the store and gotten them yourself, instead of running like heathens through the house’. Sometimes it had more colorful language than that, but you get the gist”.

Marty’s face dropped again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Buff. I am going to miss her so much. My grandpa is gone too, so now we have to clean the house, go through their belongings, my mom is going to have to do the work... on her.. own..” His voice began to trail as tears welled up in his eyes.

“Why did this have to happen?” He asked, rhetorically.

Buffy finally answered. She didn’t have to, but it helped. “I don’t know, Marty. I don’t know why these things happen,” she said as she scooted close to Marty, wrapping an arm around him. “But, what I do know, is that I’m here for you. We are all here for you. You don’t have to fight your battles alone. In fact, remember when we first started talking again?”

Marty began to chuckle, “yeah and I wouldn’t stop blowing up your phone? I had it so bad”. His face began to turn red.

Buffy laughed with him, “yes, you were pretty smitten, but I don’t blame you because I’m pretty awesome”. Marty rolled his eyes, grinning. “Anyway, that day I kept telling you I was busy because I was at Cyrus’ grandma’s Shivah. It’s a long celebration or ceremony they do in memory of someone who has died. It was a beautiful event and I think it really helped people to mourn the loss. What I learned the most from it, though, was that it was ok to talk about your feelings and to remember those people for who they were. It’s ok to be sad, but also don’t be afraid to remember her either. She would have wanted that from you, I know it. I also know she loves you very, very much and is so proud of who you are today. I couldn’t be more proud”.

Buffy learned over and kissed him on the cheek. Marty smiled at her, as a way to thank her.

“I appreciate you telling me that, really. I needed to hear it. I don’t think too many people will see this emotion out of me, though. That’s not really who I am and it’s why I kept so quiet today- sorry about that, by the way. Thanks for listening to me, Buffy”.

“You’re welcome. I can see how hard this must be for you and I appreciate you being vulnerable. Don’t worry, I’ll keep this between us until you’re ready. You don’t have to worry about me telling anyone”.

Marty knew that was true, and he knew she wasn’t going to run in and tell everyone what she just talked to him about. She was the only person who seemed to understand what it was like not to want to cry in front of everyone, because she didn’t do it often either. She was the only person who gets that.