#(which is a thing that happens for various reasons ranging from apathy/indifference to lack of resources to complete unawareness)
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"just because someone has a PD doesn't mean they're automatically going to be abusive": nodding, yes good, go on
"if they're abusive they chose to be that way": [EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE]
#always a bad time when the paradigm pendulum overcorrects and swings too far into the opposite extreme#like we ARE remembering these are disabilities right. these are conditions that hijack cognition and impair healthy social function#and we ARE also remembering that abusive behaviours are not always conscious and calculated#it'd blow some people's minds how many situations that look like ''i'm gonna fuck up this person's life On Purpose and For Fun''#are actually not that at all. the abuser's brain was just extremely on fire all the time forever and they've never examined that#and OF COURSE their extremely-on-fire brain is their responsibility and it's going neglected#(which is a thing that happens for various reasons ranging from apathy/indifference to lack of resources to complete unawareness)#but i don't think that equals ''they're choosing to be Abusive'' as if the malignant behaviours that are common with unmanaged PDs#are a choice the person is making and not a symptom of a disorder that fundamentally warps how a person sees the world#and interacts with it#we're still making nonsensical divisions between ''the Good type'' and ''the Bad type'' and i don't think that gets us anywhere
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