#(which. well. I don't know where I lost my ruler but clearly I should get a new one)

[birdmenmanga]

I know I'm complaingin about drawing furniture like every other day but genuinely. how big is a chair to a human, and how big is a table to a chair, and what is that like in perspective....

[a-master-procrastinator]

Long ass post about the Eternal family not being a copy-paste from ATLA (aka I like the memes but my god can you please stop)

Because some people truly think that Vaylin is off-brand Azula, Arcann is Zuko and so on.

It's. Called. A. Trope. (I mean how often do we come across abusive manipulative fathers in media? Mothers who couldn't much to change anything? Children, desperately looking for their parent's approval no matter what?)

Of course, you have to consider the fact that the writing of ATLA is simply better than of KotFE/ET, so this might have been one of the reasons why people say that.

Spoilers for Avatar: The Last Airbender, Knights of the Fallen Empire and Knights of the Eternal Throne expansions!

Okay, so here's my unprofessional, maybe biased, not super deep take.

(not going to mention that all of them are members of royal, ruling family, kinda obvious)

What roles do they play in their stories? Well, both Valkorion and Ozai are main antagonists, but their presence throughout the story is very different. Ozai is rarely shown in first two seasons, we don't even see his face until season 3. He doesn't have a direct connection to the protagonist, they only meet at the very end of the show, and Ozai's role is to pose a threat to the world, while Aang's is to save it. Valkorion, on the other hand, is constantly on the screen, interacting with the main character, challenging their viewpoint and influencing them directly. His end goal is similar to Ozai's (destroy everything and be the only ruler of the his nation), but with one major difference - he's trapped in Outlander's mind, so to achieve his goal Valkorion attempts to take control of the main character. Their interactions play important role in the story, and we spend a lot of time with Valkorion.

In addition to that, their relationship with children are also not exactly the same. It seems like Azula is Ozai's favorite and Zuko is a failure in his eyes until he meets his expectations, and the same goes with Vaylin, Arcann and Valkorion, right? Well, partially. Indeed, Valkorion and Ozai's treat their sons in similar ways (are disappointed in them until they meet their expectation by doing something that goes against their morals), but when it comes to Vaylin and Azula, it's not that easy. See, Valkorion claims that Vaylin was always his favorite creation (even though we know it's actually his empire), and he certainly seems to take pride in her potential in the Force. But her power is the very reason he's afraid of his own daughter, and in this fear Valkorion literally locks Vaylin away and allows to put her through physical and mental torture just to make sure she won't become a threat, won't overpower him. Maybe he thought of her better than of Arcann, but she wasn't his favored child for sure. I don't want to say that Azula hasn't experienced abuse from Ozai, but for the most part he clearly favored her over Zuko. He has never shown fear of Azula's power and abilities (or at least I haven't noticed), quite the opposite - allowed her to do a lot, as long as she brings results.

I could also mention their slightly different characterization (mostly that we get more characterization of Valkorion, get to learn his motivations, views, philosophy and all that, also he's portrayed as more nuanced, even if he not really is) and role in their respective governments (ozai is one of many Fire Lords and arguably not the greatest, while Valkorion is a god to citizens of Zakuul, their only Immortal Emperor), but those are details, and I think you get the point.

What's similar: role of the main antagonist, manipulative and abusive father, goal of destruction of everything that isn't their nation/empire, relationship with disgraced son.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with the main character, relationship with daughter, role in their societies.

Senya and Ursa are even less similar. Yes, they both are mothers who love their children, but have to leave them, but these are probably the only things they have in common. Just as with Ozai and Valkorion's presence throughout the story, Ursa is only shown in flashbacks (for obvious reasons), and Senya is one of major characters in KotFE and (a bit less major) in KotET. Ursa leaves because she has to kill Azulon in order to save Zuko, and later isn't present in the story (I'm aware that her fate is told in comics, but we aren't talking about it). Senya leaves because when she tries to take children with her, they refuse, and she understands that she can't force them to, nor she can help them to break free from Valkorion's manipulations. For a long time she's absent from Arcann ad Vaylin's lives, but at the time of game events she attempts to save her children and stop the madness and destruction they've caused, and it isn't a small part of the story.

I also want to add that their relationship with Ozai and Valkorion are also different, but can't say much about Ursa. I heard that she didn't choose this marriage and suffered emotional (and maybe physical???) abuse from Ozai. I can say with confidence, though, that Senya genuinely loved Valkorion, and strangely enough, he seems to at very least respect her. But, of course, this wasn't the best marriage either.

Plus, we see more of Senya's relationship with Vaylin than Arcann or Thexan, but with Ursa we see her more with Zuko than Azula. Just a detail to remember.

(also Senya is simply a better character but that besides the point, moving on. in this house we stand Senya)

What's similar: role of loving and caring mother, abandoning their family at some point.

What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with husband, characterization in general.

Boy, where do I even begin. Vaylin and Azula are similar in that they are both extremely powerful (one is firebending prodigy, the other is potentially stronger than Valkorion), both are cruel "craaaaazy" (i hate that cliché), both are younger sisters, have serious mother issues (seemingly more so than father issues), both go through betrayal of people they could always rely on, which eventually leads to their downfall. But when I took a look at their personal arcs, it became clear that they aren't the same (unfortunately, Vaylin's arc is very rushed and underdeveloped, but we'll have to go with what we have and my personal view, sorry).

There's a really good video about writing corruption and madness, and I'm going to base my thoughts on it. To summarise it: a good corruption arc should have 4 components:

- the character has a specific goal (or a goal and subgoals);

- in pursuit of said goal they become the cause of a significant event that brings serious consequences;

- as the result of these consequences, character abandons their morals, ideals or a code in pursuit of goal;

- character either will not achieve their goal or will succeed, but it won't be enough to satisfy them.

And then the author brings Azula's arc as one of the best examples of compelling story of corruption (so basically, she represents it perfectly). In short, Azula's main goals are perfection and control, and subgoals help achieve the main ones. In pursuit of these goals, Azula causes Mai and Ty Lee to betray her (by pushing them too far to do something they wouldn't do), which then causes her to become paranoid, which makes her to attempt controlling everything and everyone around her, *breathes* which makes her lose control over herself and ....

Now, I thought if Vaylin's arc could fit into a corruption one, and next part will be based a lot on my assumptions and personal view of her character (plus rushed writing doesn't help), but I think yes (or at least mostly). The difference is in goals, ideals and details.

While the story strongly makes us think that Vaylin's goal is freedom (or control over her life and everything around her) or power and destruction, I think it's actually self-determination (which was said by Tenebrae in 6.2) and feeling safe. Let me explain (and here I thought this would be a short comparison). Sure, when Valkorion caged Vaylin on Nathema, he took choices and control over her life from his daughter. But let's not forget whom Vaylin blames for this (even more than Valkorion): her own mother, and I think this details tell us that the most important thing that Vaylin lost on Nathema is feeling safe. Then, after Arcann brought her home, I assume Vaylin still didn't feel safe enough under Valkorion's rule, still too afraid that he'd simply send her back to that hellish place.

It's when Valkorion is struck down Vaylin finally has a feeling of personal safety, even if she isn't the one on the throne. Why? Because back on Nathema there were two people who haven't turned on her - Arcann and Thexan (yes, this is also a huge assumption, bc the game states that only Thexan visited her, but it doesn't make much sense).

I've always noticed (and I'm not alone in this) that her behavior in Fallen Empire is different from the way she acted in Eternal Throne. Most likely bc of rushed writing, but I see a character driven reason here. In first of these expansions, Vaylin is the second person in power on Zakuul, and with Arcann being in charge, person she can trust more than any other living being, she feels safe - she can test her power, and now Valkorion won't prevent it, she can do pretty much everything she wishes, and the most Arcann will do about this is mildly complain (without blaming her). Really would be nice if we got to see any normal hobbies of Vaylin (like wasn't there something about books or art?), but I digress. She might have some questions about Arcann's tactics, but they get along just fine. The important thing to note is Vaylin not seeking to hunt the Outlander personally, to rule or conquer the rest of the galaxy, or trying to achieve absolute freedom or power. She's kinda there.

This, however, changes when Arcann doesn't allow Vaylin to kill Senya. Their relationship was getting somewhat worse towards the end of KotFE, but this is a turning event Vaylin caused by attempting to strike her mother. By saving the person Vaylin blames for all the trauma from sending her to Nathema, Arcann threatened her feeling of safety. And now Vaylin starts to believing that to achieve safety she now needs to kill people who hurt her (that's why she's so determined to find Senya and Arcann), take the throne and hunt down Outlander (she was manipulated by SCORPIO to these subgoals).

(The following is the weakest, I'll admit, but I hope I can at least express what I see). So, in trying to achieve goals she didn't want before Vaylin loses in self-determination, being either driven by overwhelming anger or manipulated by others (SCORPIO or Commander on Odessen), desperately trying to accomplish anything, or even goes against her morals (like by erasing GEMINI's free will protocols, when earlier she agreed that freedom to choose is important; or breaking the deal on Odessen). All of these result in her downfall.

But even this isn't the end. The key difference between arcs of Azula Vaylin lies in it's resolution, or that Vaylin have a chance to overcome corruption in the main narrative (and Azula doesn't. again, not including comics here, sorry). After death, Vaylin is again controlled by Valkorion in Outlander's mind. First time physically (she can't resist it), second time mentally. This is where Vaylin has to choose - kill brother who betrayed her and Commander who killed her, or go against Valkorion, person responsible for almost all of her pain and trauma. She has t choose by herself, and I think it's a good start.

Now, before 6.2 we all thought Vaylin was dead for good, but that story update hinted at possibility of her coming back to life. What I like to think is that now that she dealt with people responsible for her trauma (helped defeat Valkorion and actually for once listened to Senya), Vaylin can now have a different life, finding herself with support of someone she doesn't hold a grudge against and who treats her well (Satele, I mean).

I'm so sorry for going into details, but I needed this long explanation to present the point (and I suck at explanations). As said before, this is my version of her arc, and most likely wrong interpretation, but even with personal freedom of choice, Vaylin character differs from Azula a lot.

Need I mention that Vaylin relationship with Arcann and Valkorion are drastically different from those between Azula, Zuko and Ozai?

(Also a little detail - with royal family of Fire Nation, Azula is the golden child, while with Tiralls it's actually Thexan, not Vaylin).

What's similar: role of extremely powerful, emotionally damaged daughter with little to no regard towards others, close people betraying them, resulting in their downfall.

What's different: characterization, role in the narrative, relationship with father and brother.

Arcann and Zuko is the most difficult part, but I still believe that calling Arcann just a cheap copy of Zuko is incorrect.

So, they fall into role of less successful son, always getting disapproval from father, being in shadow of more talented sibling, both obsessed with capturing the main character but ending up helping them end the war after going through a redemption arc with help of caring family member. Even both have scars on left side of face. Yeah, seems similar. I still think they are different characters.

Let's start with their relationships with family. In Valkorion section I said that his attitude towards Arcann is similar to that of Ozai towards Zuko, so not going to spend too much time here. However, there's slight difference - Zuko didn't kill his father even he had a perfect opportunity (bc it wasn't his goal), Arcann did (bc it was one of his goals), which says something about their characterizations.

Zuko and Ursa were shown to have a good mother-son relationship, and it played a role in Zuko's character. With Arcann and Senya, we don't really know (not much was shown in expansions). We know Arcann didn't hate his mother, but possibly didn't have warm memories of her either. The reason is most likely, like Senya said, her children wanted nothing to do with her (which is a bit untrue about Vaylin, but okay) and leaned more towards Valkorion. We need to remember that on Zakuul Valkorion isn't just one of many great leaders, he's the greatest, and seen as a god by most citizens, so safe to assume the same would apply to his children as well.

Zuko and Azula's siblingship (i'm out of words) is a bit similar to Arcann and Vaylin's in way of brother knowing that his sister isn't good, but still caring about them (even if not showing). At least it's what I saw. What's different is how Azula treats Zuko, compared to how Vaylin treats Arcann. I think Azula showed compassion or concern for Zuko maybe twice, but I'm not entirely convinced that it was 100% sincere. Vaylin, on the other hand, seems to trust and care about Arcann (with bits of sass and questioning his life choices), and switching to complete opposite after him saving Senya. Also, I don't she ever called Arcann a failure in their father's eyes.

Now I want to say that their roles in stories aren't the same either. Sure, both are introduced to us as antagonists, but in reality, Zuko was never a true antagonist (we get to learn this somewhere mid-season 1), when Arcann remains the main antagonist for whole of KotFE. Zuko didn't start a war and didn't participate in conquest of other nations too much, his main goal was to capture the Avatar so to restore his honor (and deserve his father's forgiveness). Honestly, I think it's safe to say the Zuko is one of two main protagonists of ATLA. Why does Arcann want to capture the Outlander? Solely because his father's spirit still lives inside this person's mind, and the best solution to keep Valkorion away from the galaxy is not letting the Outlander free (hence the carbonite freezing). And Arcann doesn't want or need Valkorion's forgiveness when he attempts to kill him (or kills him, depending on your choice. anyway, his action directly leads to Valkorion's "death"). And right after that he becomes a ruler of Zakuul and begins the conquest of Republic, Sith Empire and everything he can reach (the reasoning behind this is still unclear to me though; maybe because he was raised with ruling Zakuul in mind and he didn't anything else, idk). Point is, he's responsible for war and main's character imprisonment, which makes him the main antagonist of KotFE. They have it the opposite ways - Zuko starts as disgraced prince, supported by a little group of people, and in the end he's recognized and appreciated by his nation, and Arcann starts as respected by his empire, later becoming less and less loved, until some groups start rebelling his rule, and in the end he doesn't get to rule Zakuul again.

This leads me to their morals. See, Zuko didn't have the worst morals in Fire Nation, even more, he expressed care for loyals soldiers of his nation before getting punished by Ozai. During first season (and about a half of second one) his views on other nations are what he was taught before. However, these views are challenged by travelling in Earth Kingdom, witnessing people suffering from war Fire Nation started and hating its people (you already know all of this), and with this he comes through final stage of redemption when he's back home. Unfortunately, Arcann doesn't go through this, and he's shown to be more ruthless.

Alright, when it comes to their redemption arcs, well let's say they are different (both in quality and the way they go through it), I'm just a bit tired of long explanations at this point. Zuko's arc is one of the best ever put on television, and Arcann's... well, it definitely has potential, but is criminally underdeveloped (there are other people who will explain it better than I ever could).

What's similar: role of disgraced son, living in shadow of their sibling, serious injuries on the left side of face (though with different meanings), obsession with capturing the main character, having a redemption arc.

What's different: role in the narrative, role in their society, characterization, relationship with sister and mother, different end goals (before redemption), paths to redemption.

[swimperialentanglements]

CHAPTER 1 – Mara meets Harris aboard the ISD Chimaera

Mara Jade

Mara entered the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer Chimaera and headed straight into the state room, where Gran Admiral Pellaeon was waiting for her. She knew the Admiral only by his career reputation within the Galactic Empire which was impressive to say the least.

AdmiralPellaeon

Pellaeon smiled allowing her to read how sympathetic he was in force towards her.

“Differently from others, I have nothing to fear from you, Hand. I have a mission for you. Are you in between assignment from the Emperor? Or should I look for a bounty hunter?"

The Admiral knew how to handle people and for this reason, he tried to toy with her pride. Little did he know how different Mara Jade was.

Mara Jade

"It's up to you Admiral, and how important this mission is for you." Mara crossed her arms - she was used to that kind behavior from fellow Imperials.

AdmiralPellaeon

Pellaeon grinned as she seemed to have accepted the assignment and pulled a chair on his room, next to the bridge of the ISD Chimaera.  

“Please have a seat. It is a long story”, he says.  

“Have you ever heard of Chibias? It is not that bad planet, I believe. It is located in the Mid Rim, close to Sibisme. There is a great concert hall there”, he explained staring at her beautiful emerald eyes.

Mara Jade

"Please continue", Mara was totally focused on his words, quickly scanning her own memory for any additional information.

AdmiralPellaeon

“The Rebel Scum is plotting something from Chibias. We have control of the planet but we want to move stealthily. It seems there is a traitor in the Rebellion willing to cooperate. I could send Veres or a stormtrooper".  

He briefly grinned. "but I believe that we need to be more subtle, less threatening to the Rebel deserter... perhaps somehow charming. We must find out where their fleet is, so that we can strike them at once”. The Admiral slammed the table as recalled the fallen comrades in past battles.

MaraJade

Mara smiled. "Understood, I'll make my way there tonight see what this rebel whistler has to say".

AdmiralPellaeon

Pellaeon nodded.  

“Do you need transportation? I have a highly trained storm trooper who could help you in this kind of mission. His name is Harris”

Mara Jade

The Hand denied with her head. "I can get there on my own"  

She started walking away then pauses for a second. "And thanks for the information, I'm sure the Emperor will be pleased to know one more rebel cell has fallen".

She headed to her chambers.

AdmiralPellaeon

The Admiral was about to protest as she walks away, but he is mesmerized by the sight of her rear, curvaceous body in the black skintight suit. He swallows dry and smirks, turning the communicator to Harris.  

“She’s on her way to her chambers. You’re ordered to go with her. The Rebel shall be at the Concert Hall and you are to watch her. That’s what Vader commanded”.

By the time she arrived at her chambers in the Imperial Destroyer, a young man around her age is leaning against the door. Standing at 1m88, he is well built and good looking. His blue eyes were piercing the Emperor’s Hand as she approached her room. “Greetings, Mara Jade. I’ve been told you are traveling to Chibias. Perhaps I may be useful.” He threw a data card towards her.

Mara Jade

She stared at the young man standing by, the perfect prototype of a stormtrooper... before war gets to them. She guessed he was probably there because of Pellaeon.  

"I wonder why Admiral Pellaeon things I'm in need of any assistance", she frowned.

TrooperHarris

Harris knew about the legendary beauty of Mara Jade. Nothing would have prepared him to her arrival - he was used to have women drooling around him and for the first time, he seemed to have momentarily lost his ground. His heart skipped a beat when she appeared and as he was told, she declined his assistance. A lone wolf. He approached her, trying to regain the confidence he was used to next to pretty women. She can definitively feel his strong signature in the force. As the data card he had thrown at her direction was on the floor, he bent his knees and took it. He raised his trunk and towered over her, tilting his head to the right.  

“I thought you were going to take this data card in the air”, he said placing the hand next to her in the wall and hitting the opening button of the door.

“You’d rather listen to me. The Emperor may be displeased if you treat me unwell”, he smirked as slid into her chambers.

Mara Jade

She was used to higher rank officers’ attitude, but certainly would have never expected it from a stormtrooper, specially not from one so young. Probably had a nice post next to Admiral Pellaeon, his man of trust, and of course, it had gotten to his head. 'Men' she thought to herself, trying to maintain composure

"I don't like to play catch with strangers" she answered in a flat voice, standing still outside the door.

TrooperHarris  

Harris entered her chambers and turned his back to Mara. He was not a force sensitive –not that he knew anything about the Force - but he was stronger in the force than the average person. Little did Mara know that he reported to higher ranks than Admiral Pellaeon.  

“Mara Jade, we have two options. You can stay outside without knowing what I have to offer you. Or you can come inside, open a bottle or Corellian wine, listen to what I have to say and then, kill me with you bare hands”, he said with an equally flat voice.  

“Of course, you can do that, but I think it’d be a waste of imperial resources”.

Mara Jade

She could sense the young man's arrogance as clearly as his presence in the force. "At least I can agree to one thing, I will kill you with my bare hands" she said, walking in, the door closing behind her.  

"Alright", she said, standing in front of him, her arms crossed. "The reason I won't kill you is?" She stares right at him, her patience running low every second.

TrooperHarris  

“I thought we had agreed you’d kill me”, Harris retorted as he walked to a computer station and tapped on the screen. “How safe do you think it is?”

Mara Jade  

"I'm pretty sure it's not, feel free to get to the point please" She looked at the screen from a few steps.

TrooperHarris  

Harris sat and showing no sign of fear, he typed an 18-character password. “Can you recognize this person?” A long file opened with the basic data about a certain Legolas Castor.

Mara Jade

She carefully looks at the picture of the stranger on the screen

"Enlighten me", she asked, lowering her tone for a bit, she had no clue who that man was.

TrooperHarris  

“It comes as no surprise you are no familiar with. He’s the new human ‘nephew’ serving Black Sun’s Xizor. I believe you heard about this criminal organization. We know they have been playing with us and the Rebels”, he was serious as he had heard about her past missions.  

“The point is: we do not know whether Legolas Castor is actually willing to provide us with some information or to set a trap for the fleet.”

Mara Jade

"We should find out", she answered. The name Xizor certainly resonated in her memory. A highly influential character within the Empire, she had never really liked him, but he was in good favor with the Emperor, and whatever she thought about him was out place.  

"There's a good chance that this guy Castor is only a pawn".

TrooperHarris  

“That’s why they are sending you. You have skills no other spy has, Mara.” Harris swirled the chair, so that he faced her.  

“Legolas Castor has a weakness. Redheads. Of all species. We have a ticket for you and know what? You’re seating just next to him in the concert hall in Chibias”, he says without making any effort to hide his concern about her safety.  

“I was commanded to be away watching over you. Don’t worry, I won’t be a dead loss. You may leave me behind if I get into trouble”.

Mara Jade  

"So that was it", she thought to herself. She had used her looks as a wrap on of distraction before, in fact it was quite an advantage given certain kind of targets.  

"I see you and your boss had everything set. Anyways, this should be a piece of cake" she said "Tell your superior I appreciate him taking the time to make preparations ahead", she added.  

"Now, if you don't mind I'd like to get busy", she finished, walking up to her chamber door and opening it, gesturing for the young trooper to leave.

TrooperHarris  

"Not my boss, our boss", Harris muttered in between his teeth without giving further explanation. He watched her rear swaying, almost in provocation to him - for a second, he wanted to slap it but he declined.  

"I am glad we could come to good terms, Mara. You´ll not be down", he agreed with her request and stepped out of the room - as he was in the door, he added. "Look for an old HWK-290 light freighter in the docking bay. We are not using any imperial transport, since it would raise suspicious... and I will fly it", he added, leaving her chambers. He boarded the ship and waited.

Mara Jade

Mara sighed. That trooper indeed had an attitude and that annoyed her, but she kind of like it. He was also very stubborn, something she would probably have to deal with. The information provided by Harris had been useful, and she herself had thought about piloting a low-profile ship to Chibias... Then there was the Xizor business... she had been on Chibias before, trying to bring some order back 8n to place after suspecting said ruler of treason, unfortunately, Xizor had his ways of not getting his hands dirty, so hard evidence of it was hard to find. Maybe, and just maybe allowing the stormtrooper to join her was a good idea, he could eventually come handy, she thought. She gathered her weapons and prepared a small bag with some appropriate clothes, she would have to merge at the concert hall gala and use her looks to her advantage.  

After a few minutes she boarded the freighter and joined the pilot.  

"Ok Harris, Let go".

TrooperHarris  

Harris decided to play the professional - if they were going to partner, there was no reason for them to fight each other. He stood up and bowed showing some respect.  

“There’s a room behind the pilot cabin: keep it for you, Mara” he said as he prepared the ship to take off.  

“You’ve just had a great stress in Sullust, so take advantage of this ride to relax. If you want to play sabaac or just drink some Corellian wine, I’ll be here”. Shortly after, the two entered the hyperspace. The trip would last 1 day in a series of pre-programmed jumps to the hyperspace.

Mara Jade

She was suspicious of the trooper's sudden change of attitude. He had proved himself useful, but she wanted to make sure he was up to the task, she had known a few stormtroopers who despite of the rigorous training would miss a simple target more than once or even fail protocol. Besides, she wasn't just going to sit for the ride, inaction tended to ruin her concentration. So she went and sat next to him.

"So tell me, stormtrooper Harris, how good of a pilot are you?"

TrooperHarris

Harris did not hide his surprise when Mara approached him. Her attitude was stern and professional. He turned his eyes to her and nodded. "I have had my quota of dogfights with smugglers in some missions for the Empire. I'm still alive, so it may mean something", he said as the ship came out of hyperspace, turned slightly and made another jump.  

"I plotted the known routes, even though the Hand may be authorized to use the Imperial-exclusive ones. I thought it'd be wiser, just in case someone hacks the NavComputer when we are out of the ship. It will cost us some time but will add some safety too." He swirled his chair slightly so that he could see her slender body. She was indeed pretty as he had been told. It was clear why she was the Emperor's favorite Hand.  

"I do not expect that we need to use my skills as a jet fighter. I am more worried about going physical. Those Black Sun goonies do not think twice to beat and torture people. I'm glad I can join this mission. Their crime syndicate must be ended".

Mara Jade

She was impressed by Harris's strategy skills, he had even planned ahead to cover up their tracks in case their transport was found. She smiled in approval. He was also very aware of the dangers they would probably encounter once they reached their destination, and most important, she was a professional but by no means infallible, he could see something she didn't.  

"Let's make sure it happens", she eagerly added to his comment.

TrooperHarris  

Harris stood up, towering over the redhead. He casually placed the hand on the back of Mara's chair. He knew he was winning her, although he lacked the degree of development in the force. "Yes, I don´t like those criminals", he snorted in disdain, trying to hide personal feeling of grief and suffering in relation to the Black Sun. Harris left her alone and walked to the cargo bay, where he took off the silly stormtrooper armour and put on a pair of bermuda. He began to do push-ups shirtless, focusing on what was to come.

Mara Jade

"So that's what it is", Mara could sense this mission has a personal tint for the trooper, perhaps the memories of past battles... and loss. She could empathize with his words, she despised criminals for disrupting the peace and order the Empire worked so hard to keep. But she didn't know what it was like, to take something to the personal ground, after all she had nothing to lose except for her own life which she had dedicated to serve the Empire. She peaked for a second behind her seat and briefly saw the trooper's figure, he was strong and certainly above the average stormtrooper standard of fitness. She smiled and turned her attention back to the window and out to space. They both wanted the same thing, and maybe their motivation wasn't that different. They would both once again serve the Empire for the good of the galaxy.

[theragamuffininitiative]

I cannot make myself want God or love Him. I try. I try to do what he wants, its so exhausting, I don't feel likw he is helping me. Life is exhausting always and I often feel worthless. It is very hard to believe God loves me, i know its not bcz of what i do but i dont see him acting in my life. I am prob too fearful. Probably going to hell but i cannot make myself believe in God ENOUGH or in the right way :( life is nasty, might as well get it over with sry

Hi friend, I believe you’re the same anon as before (although I’m sorry if I am mistaken) and I do want to make sure either way that you are able to see my last answer here.

Ultimately you cannot make yourself believe in God. It’s up to him. But trust in him. If you are truly seeking him, it is only because he is first seeking you and there is enormous comfort in that. He is strong and able and willing to save any and all who call on his name.

If this is burdening you at all, you have to understand that’s because he is working in your life. If you did not feel this way, you would not regret your mistakes, you would not be troubled by sin, you would have no reason to try to be holy. But if you are, this means he is revealing to you that you are lost and helpless without him. If this is the case, then it means he is seeking you. Those that God does not seek do not acknowledge him or have any reason to.

He has everything, everything, you could ever want or need. He is love, courage, perfection, hope, peace, and rest. Go to him. Lay all your insecurities out. There are no secrets with him, even the ones we want to hide.

You are not too fearful. All throughout history God has used timid, scared, weak, ill, underdog, overwhelmed, worldly insignificant people to show his amazing handiwork, his love, his justice, and his mercy, for his glory.

Ultimately it is not about what you think you may be worth to God -whether that is little or much. It’s about him making you worthy through himself, through his perfect Son, Jesus Christ. God is God, he does as he pleases, and yet it pleases him to show mercy and to forgive and to rescue.

You are never too far away from that rescue.

I’m so sorry you are struggling through this, please know that you are not alone. I struggle in faith daily, because of the broken nature of my old sinful self. But there is always hope. Christ redeems, he saves.

Instead of coming to God, mindful of everything you are trying to give to him, or cannot give to him, come to him humbly. Forget about yourself and who you think you amount to. Present yourself, just as you are, to God. You are all he wants. He wants to save you, to draw you close to him, for his Glory as the heavens praise him. He wants you to praise him as well, and he will give you everything you need to do so.

You just have to ask.

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7)

and again

1 Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. 2 This man came to Jesus[a]by night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him.” 3 Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again[b] he cannot see the kingdom of God.” 4 Nicodemus said to him, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” 5 Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. 6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.[c]7 Do not marvel that I said to you, ‘You[d] must be born again.’ 8 The wind[e] blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

9 Nicodemus said to him, “How can these things be?” 10 Jesus answered him, “Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? 11 Truly, truly, I say to you, we speak of what we know, and bear witness to what we have seen, but you[f] do not receive our testimony. 12 If I have told you earthly things and you do not believe, how can you believe if I tell you heavenly things? 13 No one has ascended into heaven except he who descended from heaven, the Son of Man.[g]14 And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, 15 that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.[h]

16 “For God so loved the world,[i] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. 19 And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. 20 For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. 21 But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.” (John 3)

Praying for you, my friend, that God will reveal himself to you, and that you will know the love and mercy of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord, and that all peace and courage and hope and joy will be shown to you.