#* 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘥 . inbox.

[peacespun]

" when we grow up, i want to marry you. " they are no more than a couple of kids, stuck here in this shithole thanks to parents who didn't know how to handle them or didn't care. at least most of them were, there are a few of the other boys that their parents surely thought that they would become destined heroes. something about joining the military straight out of boarding school and becoming the next general or secretary of defense. which seemed laughable now, some of them didn't have the decorum and allen really doubts that they ever would. it was going to take more than beating on some poor kid that was already weaker than them for someone to call them brave. they are mindless bullies. they were children.

and here they are, aftermath of a beating, allen carefully dabbing away the blood that drips from leons lower lip when the words finally ring clear. when we grow up, i want to marry you. it allows for a warm smile to rise to his lips after they are spoken, but it lasts for only a moment before he finds a purpling bruise over his left cheek where the other boys had struck him first. he almost doesn't want to look at what could be underneath @sieverts' shirt.

" it would be an honor to marry you. " he whispers, removing bloodied cloth from his lip to examine the gash for himself. he knows that he's far from a professional, far from a working physician paid top dollar, but allen thinks he can recognize if someone was going to need stitches if by some measure of experience. " they beat you pretty badly this time. does anything feel broken? "

[nonsupe]

" they warned me not to trust you. " it takes everything in him to bite his cheek and swallow a laugh. of course they did. the caretaker isn't someone to be trusted, not with his history both with and long before the company ever discovered him. they were right to be cautious, to warn others of him when they could or felt the need to. priority or scare tactic. he's a wolf in sheep's clothing: blends in where he needs to, ready for an attack.

" did you expect anything less from them? " in a way, he likes that his presence is proceeded with a warning. they know exactly what he's capable of and now so does everyone else. but he doesn't want to give off the wrong image to @artisanals. they need each other out here, like it or not. she may be the one person he might not be able to fool. but it is still impossible to hide the smile that comes forward as he speaks his next words, " do you trust me? "

[blednone]

" if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. " it comes out of nowhere from somewhere beside him, swears that it may have been wes that spoke up. at least to abe it seemed to be out of nowhere, though it was right after a comment had leaped from his dumb fucking mouth without a second thought. spur of the moment, and he doesn't even remember exactly what he'd said no thanks to the immediate panic that gripped his whole body following the mumbled words. that much he remembered: he mumbled, maybe even more along the lines of grumbled under his breath in response to what eric had said when he and dean joined them at the beach. he thought he was quiet enough. apparently not.

eyes are immediately on wes, who even has the gull to half way smirk at him when the others notice a silence around them and wait in anticipation. fuck. fuck fuck fuck. he swallows the anxiety tightening his throat, shifts his gaze back down to the sand he'd collected in his hands, letting it fall through his fingers. " then you don't know any better. "

he couldn't have these feelings. he can't feel this way for someone he can't have because someone else crawled their way to him first, because he didn't tell him how he felt soon enough. by the time he'd worked up the courage the last time, it was too late. eric was all over him, and he still is. they can't be any more than friends.

but he also can't help the way he's drawn to him. the way blue eyes look over and he takes in how happy he is, how the sun warms his skin and brings out more of his freckles, how @bledgrace smiles and it reaches those beautiful green eyes. i'm in love with you.

[nonsupe]

" how do i know you won't stab me in the back? " you don't are the words that nearly fall out of his mouth before he bites his tongue. an old habit. he has to remind himself that for the time being they're on the same side, they want the same things. vought and homelander gone. its not a feat either one of them can accomplish alone. he just hasn't figured out what her angle is yet, what she needs from him.

@herosupe is smart to question him, he'll give her that. he is always one move away from twisting it all, pulling the rug from under her feet and burying her with it. the tower falls where it falls, and he'll be careful to stand clear and mind the dust as it settles. that's always been his game. one right after another without a second thought spared to them because better them than me. it got him where he needed to be, several steps ahead of the chaos that engulfs the others. minding the settling dust.

" how do i know you won't do the same? " rhetorical question. one that he doesn't leave her much chance to answer before he moves on, raising a hand: a vow. " you got my word. we want the same thing, whatever it takes to make that happen. no games. "

[nonsupe]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. It's time to spread positivity!

this has been sitting in my inbox for FOREVER but !!!!! ilu !! ❤️❤️❤️

[nonsupe]

@v0ughtsfirst, are you trying to butter me up ?

" what? what makes you think that? " while it held, in part, some truth, shiloh still couldn't pass the opportunity to play into it a little more. its not every day that he gets to cook, much less for him. so when an opportunity arises and they both have the time, both finally away from the tower, and nobody needs them to be god knows where doing fuck all, he knows to take it and run because these moments are rare. they won't get another like this.

the table is arranged for them. dinner already set in the middle, a bottle of expensive cabernet sitting on ice between them. if he was going to treat him to dinner then he was going to do it right.

a hand falls over his heart, clutching his chest. a huff falls from him and a pout finds his lips, dark eyes filling with a playful hurt. " can't a man do something nice for the guy he's fucking? " shiloh reaches and pulls out a chair for him, motioning for him to sit. then he smiles. " or is that not allowed? "

[nonsupe]

a peek inside everything k go

HI, a lot of this is under read more because it got hella long !!!

01.     pockets. depends on whether or not he's working that day and what he's doing. cause you could find anything from plastic gloves for Messy work or could be a knife or could be pills (that,,, you know), depending on how much of a mess he doesn't want to have to clean up that day or what kind of / how little a mess the company wants left behind (i.e. if they want to send a message or not). but it could honestly just be as innocent as a folded up piece of paper too, or his badge.

but on a normal day - to - day basis when he's not doing shady shit, its just his phone and wallet, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and his keys. if he happens to be wearing a suit for work one day, in the little top pocket of his jacket, thats where he's going to keep his keycard so that its on his person at all times cause he doesn't trust a damn one of those people to keep it out of his immediate eyeline.

02.     bag   /   purse. it depends on the job because i feel like that would be the only time he would ever actually carry a bag, and even then for the most part that bag stays in the trunk of the car for very specific reasons. but usually its whatever he needs: cash, drugs (to bribe or to... you know), he doesn't usually carry anything bigger than a handgun if he has to most times but if there is a reason to bring a shotgun or something larger to intimidate or worse then its likely he'd bring it in that. it just kinda depends.

for missions with leon specifically: its gonna be kind of the same deal, it just depends on what he thinks he might need for it, who they're dealing with and what they send with them if anything at all.

03.     car trunk. the bag if he's working a specific job, otherwise that stays at the tower and in a very specific place. but usually he carries a first aid kit at all times, a crowbar, tire iron, and various miscellaneous things that are not very specific. but under the piece that lifts to hold the spare tire, there is a little compartment that he uses to hide a little flash drive that holds only tiny fragments of information about vought and their doings. its part of his "in case something happens to me" plan: where someone of his choosing will get clear and very specific instructions on where to find various flash drives and put them together as a means to shut down vought all together, or at least start to. it has been there for many years and nobody has ever been the wiser.

04.     car glovebox. flashlight, roadmap, sanitizing wipes, various papers. a .9mm that remains as his backup in case he needs it. a notebook with various scribbles inside of it that are all coded differently for each different passage, you need a keyword in order to understand any of it. a few pages are nothing but dates but you can't tell which ones are real and which are just nonsense that he put in there strictly to throw someone off. there's only one clear address in that notebook and it leads literally out to the middle of nowhere to some abandoned lot.

05.     closet. clothes wise it's a lot of business casual stuff. thats what he feels most comfortable in, there's very few like - sweatpant type things in his wardrobe. shiloh likes to appear presentable regardless of where he's at or where he's going, its the old man in him. but speaking of old man, there is almost guaranteed to be an comfortable pair of loafers somewhere in the floor of his closet, if not out where he can just slip them on whenever he feels like it.

other than that: there is a medium-sized safe where he keeps cash in various currencies (euro, yen, pound sterling), one or two of his various passports under different names. another notebook that is coded the same way as the other in his car, this one is much more valuable than the last in many ways and shiloh went to great lengths to make sure it was undecipherable except by him and him alone. there may also be a rifle he keeps in a case in his closet too, along with some padded armor (that he really doesn't need but you can't be too careful in his line of work). he also has a go-bag with various essentials that he keeps ready at all times.

can you tell that he's just slightly paranoid?

06.     bedside table drawer. .9mm not necessarily in his table drawer but definitely within his reach, and its the same one that he usually keeps on his person when he's actually awake. when he goes to bed, he'll set it on the table closest to him out of an abundance of caution (but also habit at this point too because mans never had a break since starting this damn job). there's not a lot of anything actually in the drawers, they're too small for much of anything really.

07.     medicine cabinet. pain medications like advil and the works. a bunch of old bandages and band - aids, mostly for those times he isn't healing as fast as he'd like and still needs to dress / change the dressing over certain wounds. honestly the medicine cabinet is pretty much bare except for those things because he doesn't really have a use for anything else? he doesn't get sick because his body heals with the cva, and he doesn't get hurt too often or at least enough that he needs constant precautions in place. its kind of on a "if i need it" basis and he keeps whats left over.

08.     wallet. id (as the alias, adam conway), credit card under his alias too. no more than $200 dollars cash at all times and used only when its super urgent or it needs to be under the radar. in verses where he's involved with someone (i.e. leon), he'll carry around a picture of them with him as a reminder to stay grounded and do what he does for them.

09.     “junk” drawer. a bunch of shit that honestly he could probably stand to throw away: old wires to things that don't exist anymore, loose change for some reason, rubber bands, a deck of old ass playing cards, pens and markers that he dropped in there without a second thought and probably don't even work anymore. scissors that are ancient but still work. paperclips and pushpins that are closed up in a little box. its a mess in there, dig at your own risk.

10.     pantry. not much. a lot of things shiloh likes to make fresh since cooking is such a release for him. but there are some canned goods that are in there, little healthy snack foods, some crackers maybe. cereals for when he just doesn't give a fuck what he eats. fruits he tries to keep out in the open for grabs but there are some dried ones in little containers that he snacks on sometimes. just kinda depends. its kind of a mix of whatever he feels like keeping every other week.

11.     phone home screen. not much. mostly business stuff. he's not a phone guy so he doesn't keep a lot there for entertainment purposes. its whatever comes built in with the phone: camera, calendar, notes, clock and whatever else, and then whatever bullshit vought feels like using for business at the time that he barely uses. even his background is default.

12.     frequently used emojis. his top one is definitely: 🤬 (cursing), and a close second is: 🖕 (middle finger). other than that it really depends on who he's texting. like with leon, he probably won't use as many until he learns how to better use them himself but when he does, a third most used comes into the mix and its: 🍆 cause.... obviously.

13.     to do list. i was gonna say that he doesn't keep much of a to do list but .... i suppose its less of a to do list and more of a self check and its more for personal stuff like what he might need from the store when work is done trying to kill him, the works. but you know leon is at the top of that to do list.

14.     computer home screen. same as the phone thing, its really just basic things. whatever is needed to get his work done and maybe something like google.

15.     bookcase. shiloh has a whole collection of books that he's collected over the years. some of his favorites come from asimov, don't ask me why but that was what came to mind first, quite a few things from tolstory too. he has a few first edition dickens books. he also has a lot books on greek myth, like the iliad and oddessy, various things on their legends.

he also has one or two little old fashioned puzzle boxes from the 40-50s that are supposed to be one the the most elaborate things of the era, he uses at one of those to hide another flash drive and no, he won't say which. also on his bookshelf is a picture of his mom and dad when they got married, and one of all of them together from the same day where donna has him, tiny five year old shiloh, in her lap.

this is also where he keeps the old toy model plane that harry gave to him when he was a kid, one of his most treasured possessions and he would absolutely commit murder if it ever broke or went missing.

16.     cd collection. shilohs actually more of a record guy, comes right back to him being an old man. but he has a lot of oldies that he's just kind of collected over the years. a lot of soft, easy music that he can put on in the background when he's cooking or just trying to relax after work. a lot of frank sinatra, benny goodman, billie holiday, ray charles, etc. there are probably more records in his collection than there are books on his shelves to be honest with you.

17.     calendar for this month. "a bunch of shit i could care less about" are his exact words. probably a bunch of shit meetings and events that he'll have to play supe babysitter for, otherwise its an open take. whatever comes up comes up.

18.     secret hiding spot. one day i will do a whole meta on this to go into far more detail about his hiding spot because this is something he spent a lot of time with, creating somewhere safe specifically for him in case things got too heated with vought or something happens and it jumps the gun before he has the proper means to do what he needs to in order to bring down vought.

but this is out in the middle of nowhere, completely off grid and big enough to house one person (maybe even two, if necessary). he's spent many years in making sure that he has everything he needs to survive there for years, wait out the shitshow that vought deals out. it was created to be his safe house at its very core, and he's used it a couple times if only to make sure he could go and stay off grid for periods of time without notice. he owns the land it sits on but its buried under a gruesome paper trail that loses footing around 2004 and goes cold, as the last owners of the property had been a couple from 1910 that ended up selling it 13 years after purchase.

19.     five most recent in contact list. nobody is saved under their actual name on his phone, i just want to say that really quick. each of them have a name given to them so only he knows who they are, mostly if he doesn't like them. this is gonna sound so backwards but stick with me here: the people he doesn't care about are the only ones saved in his phone (stan, people in the tower that he stays in constant talks with, most of the supes). if he has you saved as something in his phone, he doesn't like you and there is minimum security protections for you. sorry not sorry.

the people he wishes to protect are not saved as anything, its safer that way he feels like. numbers are hidden and protected with an encryption that one of his contacts designed for him to run against anything vought puts / has put on his phone. every contact he has ever worked with and continues to work with isn't saved for their own protection, and it goes for everyone he wants to keep safe. so if you aren't saved in his phone, its not a personal thing. its his highest security.

20.     refrigerator. a lot of fresh produce items really. some meats like lamb and chicken and turkey. fruit juices (orange and apple). things you'd usually expect, nothing too fancy or odd. there is probably leftovers from time to time that are usually gone the next day but i mean ... a simple guy, simple habits.

21.     home safe. we kinda already talked about the biggest one, the one in the closet. but there is one more, a small one, thats part of his desk in a little corner of his loft that he uses mostly to keep his personal important documents (birth certificate, both his actual one and one for the alias, as well as a social security card under the alias).

22.     amazon shopping cart. probably nothing fancy. literally the most basic things on the planet, maybe a new watch he's been looking at. nothing too crazy.

23.     bank account. too much to try and guess or figure, truth be told lmao. just know that he's not gonna be struggling for anything for a very long time.

24.     first aid kit. anything you could possibly think to need. needle and stitching, gauze, bandages of all shapes and sizes, different kinds of band aids, disinfectants, scissors, gloves. and he has multiple of these. one in the loft, one in the car, and one in the safe house.

25.     five most recent in google search history. its usually an even tie between directions to various places and looking at where to find and buy old or rare records and books. he's old, leave him alone. he's not interesting.

26.     most used playlist. if he's not using one of his records, which he prefers to do, then he's listening to the relax playlist he created with most of the same artists and a few others. its either relax or cooking and those have very different tempos but the same feel, mostly just whatever he's feeling for the time being.

27.     least used playlist. literally anything else that is suggested to him or in the "related" section of any online playlist. he likes his music and won't be swayed to like anything else.

28.     five most recent sent text messages.

h0melander, saved as: fucking ugly duckling: k one of his contacts, number not saved: midnight. usual. one of "the boys" probably, number not saved: we have a problem. need to meet. leon, number not saved: work calls. be back in an hour. someone from the tower, saved as: thing #1: i get there when i get there

29.     five most recent received text messages.

h0melander, saved as: fucking ugly duckling: get here now one of his contacts, number not saved: code red a different contact, number not saved: Your order is finished! leon, number not saved: no you fucking come back to bed right now someone from the tower, saved as: thing #1: be here in 5

30.     netflix watch history. anything classic. sometimes if he's feeling like shutting his brain off, he'll watch old looney tunes (they were never on netflix but fuck it). but any number of the classics they have at any given point because its nostalgic and he loves the old movies anyway. again, an old man.

[nonsupe]

" you don't exactly have a trust worthy face. " shiloh wants to assume that the words "not here" were omitted by accident. but in the long run, he may be right. times have changed since the cold war, people have become far more skeptical and paranoid. some people won't look at him and see a man they can entrust secrets to, regardless of how high or mediocre the stakes are. leon though ... he has a face that people trust. he's familiar. shiloh is a shadow crawler, a man that does not and cannot exist. with @antisupe people are more likely to feel at ease and to trust him with something valuable. he has some experience with that.

the smile is near impossible to fight though he does manage, barely, if only for appearance when he looks him in the eye, no emotion reflected in his own when question is asked, " are you saying that i'm scary? " could be true for many people, but ...

" i think that depends on who you are and what you're trying to hide. " and which side he leans on. in the past it was clearer. now? now he plays both just to have an upper hand in what comes next. the aftermath he'd see at the end of the day. " i knew some people that would be inclined to agree with you once... course that was after i had their state secrets. "

[blednone]

do all of them....... silly willy for posting this thinking i wont' say do all of them

01.     pockets. very minimal loose change. a pocket knife. sometimes one of those packs of matches that you get from motels or bars. other than that its the usual stuff: wallet, phone, house keys, lighter.

02.     bag. if we're talking about the travel bags that they can keep safely in the motels and stuff: nothing out of the ordinary. clothes, a bar of soap cause he likes his better, shampoo and conditioner, the usual care items. maybe a spicy time device if they're feeling it, so dig at your own risk.

but if we're talking the hunting bags that they keep in the trunk: matches and an extra lighter, a bulk container of salt, a fully stocked first aid kit that abe makes certain to refill if they use certain items after bad hunts. whatever they need in order to finish the case be it their salt shotguns, extra guns, machetes. he also carries a mix of very specific dried herbs and plants for spell work, plus a separate bag for the symbols and specific items made for them from by people they can trust, or by them in prep for spell work. stuff that may or may not be needed one day. abe is the definition of prepared for anything.

03.     car trunk. everything you'd expect to be there cause after a while abe stops using his personal truck because there's simply no use for it and they just use the impala. but when he did use his personal car a very long time ago, it was probably pretty empty. he might have carried a few crates in the back for the apples he'd take to market every once in a while, but thats about it.

04.     car glovebox. same as before, but i feel like abe probably likes to make sure that there is a roadmap in the glovebox even after smartphones get better and better cause "you never know," but also makes sure there are extra flashlights and maybe a few lil snacks that won't go bad if they're left in there for a while for an emergency. probably also keeps wipes in there cause he knows how dean is and how messy their job is. an extra spell bag that doesn't go in with the others, this one mostly filled with protective charms. better safe than sorry.

05.     closet. listen abe is a very simple man, jeans and a t-shirt guy at heart. there are a few simple jackets, one or two hoodies that are oversized because those are just comfier, maybe a good carhartt jacket. a rather decent selection of "nicer clothes," meaning he probably has two or three good suits with a tie collection he shares with dean for cases (lets be honest they probably share the whole closet). one pair of nice shoes to use during cases, a pair of work / casual shoes, and a pair of boots for hunts. thats wardrobe wise anyways ..

as far as what else is in the closet? a mini safe that holds most of their various ids when they're not on hunts: park ranger, safety inspector, etc., probably has the original blue-prints to the cabin in a sealed box somewhere buried under the rest of the things. honestly, there's probably not a lot of things in the closet that you wouldn't expect to be there.

06.     bedside table drawer. this is where it gets interesting because abe always, whether they're in the cabin or sleeping in a motel room, has a gun on the bedside table. there's also usually one under the bed just in case but for the most part they stay on the bedside table. always a thing of holy water in a little container too, which should never be confused for the bottle of lube which, ironically, they put in an old holy water bottle that has "sex" written on it in permanent marker because they thought it was too funny to pass up. at least the travel one is. the real bottle stays at home in their bedside drawer, safe and sound, tucked away with the rest of the miscellaneous stuff.

07.     medicine cabinet drawer. allergy pills. grape cough medicine as its the only one dean likes. pain medications like advil, a few icy-hot patches they tried one time for dean after a particularly rough hunt that just remain as an extra option, just in case. some extra strength excedrin (especially during and post michael). a variety of band - aids and bandages, a pair of scissors, needle and stitch thread that he keeps in abundance. alcohol.

08.     wallet. id, one or two separate cards, no more than $100 cash at a time and that is used mostly for emergencies. he also carries a little photo of dean in one of the pockets of his wallet. its a little bent at one of the corners and faded from age but its his favorite picture and he will never take it out.

also has this old zolatar fortune card that he got from some old shop out in the middle of the midwest one time. it was one of those in between cases moments when they stopped somewhere and took some time to unwind and time for them so they could just be, probably before getting sam, and it said something about how he was holding on to something from the past and that what he has in front of him is his future, his way forward, that the only way to truly have it is to let go. its a nice little reminder to have so he keeps it, plus it reminds him of the fun he and dean had that day.

09.     “junk” drawer. probably a shit ton of batteries of all sizes and rubber bands, truth be told. change that just kinda got dropped in there for whatever reason. old keys that probably don't belong to anything anymore. both dead and perfectly working pens, good luck. old written notes (good morning, ran an errand and will be back soon. going to the store, be back in an hour. out in the orchard, coffee is still warm) to dean that can probably be tossed. an old owners manual for a fridge that abe had in the 50s that should have probably been tossed a long time ago. a bunch of miscellaneous stuff like paperclips and pins, a few safety pins, the works.

10.     pantry. honestly it stays pretty stocked with fresh things. plenty of apples from the orchard, onions from the farmers market in town, peppers and herbs that he collects from the same market. little snacks that dean likes.

a lot of what abe keeps at the house is fresh goods, a lot of things that he uses for making meals from scratch with the best ingredients possible. locally grown produce, if not his own. so every other week or so he has to make a grocery run to make sure things stay stocked.

11.     phone home screen. abe is a pretty basic man, most of the things on his phone are default things that were already on the home screen to begin with. camera, calendar, a search engine. there might be like one game on it that he and dean play and get a little competitive with from time to time, but its really kind of generic default stuff from there.

12.     frequently used emojis. 🍆 - this one requires no explanation whatsoever. 🥰 - same with this one. 🙄 - this one is usually at other people.

13.     to do list. as follows: dean. pick up extra flour and butter from the store. dean. check to see when the market begins to set up for fall harvest this year. dean.

14.     computer home screen. mostly pretty empty. his background is of him and dean though, one of those times they were just relaxing in the orchard after a long days work. probably about the only thing that he actually uses on the computer is google for cases.

15.     bookcase. abe has a whole stockpile of books from various eras and regions of the world. a lot of them are likely in different languages, ancient and modern, and some are even first edition copies / very rare finds out there in the world anymore. he has so many books in his collection, in fact, that the study shelves are completely filled (some books are even leftover from when will was using the study during his life), stacked sideways, and there are piles of 12+ high on the floor around the old desk and in front of the book cases.

a lot of them are various lore from around the world, some are different versions and translations of religious texts, others are studies of the supernatural from around the world and, in a very select few, published works about the possible existence of immortal peoples. there are fictional works between the occult stuff and some business publishes and law studies that were a part of will's things in life that abe doesn't have the heart to throw out.

16.     cd collection. abe is more of a records kind of guy, and even then its not very plentiful. anymore they probably play things through the system on the tv abe has in the living room when either of them want to listen to music in the cabin, but abe probably didn't collect a lot of cds or vinyls.

for a long time he was content to just live in silence and take in the sounds at the cabin more than anything. but with each dean, there were different moments they sat and listened to music. a radio, a vinyl record, the cassettes in the impala, through the bluetooth system on the tv.

17.     calendar for this month. nothing too specific. mostly just working on his plan for the fall season. apples are going to be in high demand for pies and ciders, and he'll definitely be among those at the market hoping to sell later in the month through all of autumn.

18.     “secret” hiding spot. there really isn't one. not really. the cabin itself is technically an escape but its not really a hiding spot, nor is it really a secret. there used to be an old cellar on the property where they'd store certain things for winter, but it likely collapsed one spring due to a collection of moister over the years and was never rebuilt.

but i guess if we want to get really truly technical, there is ONE hiding spot that remains a secret and thats where he buried his guns he used during his time as a hired gun after promising never to touch them again. and thats at the back corner of the property, next to the little creek that runs through. abraham has never told a soul where he put those things, and it remains an unspoken secret to this day.

19.     five most recent in contact list. dean, most contacted. sam, second most contacted. cas, probably, on a rare basis. wendy and george, the elderly couple who run the market most days, rarely contacted.

20.     refrigerator. a lot of fresh produce, just like the pantry. eggs, milk, peaches and strawberries, vegetables. sometimes there are pie leftovers that they put in the fridge from the night before, maybe some from dinner too. some coffee creamer. some of deans favorite beer.

21.     home safe. not a lot, truly. their most unused id badges for various occupations, the original deed to the property that was passed to him and will's last documented wishes. his mom's personal bible, both to keep it safe from the elements but also so he doesn't have to look at it anywhere because he can't bring himself to.

22.     amazon shopping cart. nothing. abe rarely uses amazon, doesn't even have a membership. abe tries not to use it as often and likes to do a lot of his shopping locally, and if he can't find it THEN he'll try other places like amazon.

23.     bank account. thats a big number that i'm not even going to try and figure. just know that he's set both from his own wealth through the years and what will had passed down to him, adjusted for inflation through the last few turns of the century and just ... they're not going to be struggling any time soon. abe could truly get away with a lot of things financially if he truly wanted to.

24.     first aid kit. various kinds of pain killers, alcohol + alcohol wipes, gauze and various bandages and band - aids. scissors, stitching needle and thread. a clean knife. tweezers. little vial tubes in case they need to keep a sample of something. antibacterial spray. bug cream for those ridiculous bug bites. burn gel. emergency blankets. blood cleaning kit. anything and everything you can think of.

o25.     five most recent in google search history.  cases of supernatural hauntings in rural areas in the states. cases + studies of immortality. lore on a specific monster for cases they work on. hotels near me.

26.     most used playlist. deans playlist. abe has a few songs in the mix of that list but its always deans playlist.

but i feel like they have a road playlist and an at home playlist. ones for keeping them busy and entertained on the road between cases and driving back to the cabin, and ones for when they want to just relax. the smooth relaxing kind of music you can put on in the background to cook or to settle into a warm bath to.

27.     least used playlist. the at home playlist probably. sometimes they just want to crawl into bed after everything, settle in with the natural sounds of crickets and the occasional owl in the distance.

28.     five most recent sent text messages.

to dean, saved under - husband: i found the remote to dean, saved under - husband: when you come back in, i have a surprise for you (; to dean, saved under - husband: i love you to sam, saved under - sasquatch: i found something of interest, call me to sam, saved under - sasquatch: DO NOT DISTURB. 1 hr.

29.     five most recent received text messages.

from dean, saved under - husband: where the hell was it ?? from dean, saved under - husband: oh i like the sound of that (; from dean, saved under - husband: ❤️❤️ from sam, saved under - sasquatch: ok. 1 hr. from sam, saved under - sasquatch: get dean and call me, i have something

30.     netflix watch history. probably just scooby doo cartoons and old clint eastwood westerns. not necessarily on netflix but wherever they can find them. its a bunch of classics for them, really.

[nonsupe]

" there  …  there you are.   i see you now. " she says it as if she peered through a window to his soul, searched beyond what she holds between both of her hands and found what little there is after the mask, the outward shell he created many years ago to stand in place of what lies beneath. to protect or cage it, that still isn't clear.

" do you? " the smile that appears to his lips doesn't feel real, doesn't feel as genuine as he hopes it might. he asks with both curiosity and the grain of uncertainty that exists only to him: 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙰𝙼 𝙸 ? what is he supposed to be? depending on when someone could have voiced a similar question to him, the answer would vary. a child, a soldier, a shell of a boy that had been hollowed both by grief and anger. a test subject. now? he's not sure there will ever be an answer.

but what does @firedblanks see? what lies beneath the fragments of shiloh warren now? which of those fragments exist only to him that she did not see -- cannot see as she looks at him the way she does and always has, holding pieces of him together without so much as a grimace when they might slice open a broken piece of her as she tried to fit hers with his.

" are you sure? "

[blednone]

basic tags + timelines.

[nonsupe]

@v0ughtsfirst, i can’t find my room  &  i need a fucking cigarette .

he should have gone home. his home. where he knows the bed or at very least the couch. where he knows he can't be watched like he were a mouse playing into a trap ready to snap its prey. don't get him wrong, this place is decent enough. its outfitted to be comfortable, accommodated to his needs and requests -- or at least most of them. but still he doesn't feel any sense of ease, there is no essence of home here in this fucking tower. city lights glimmer in the distance when he looks out the window and while the view is the same as he's always had, the same he can see from his own place, it still feels different. but its easier to stay here when he's on the job, easier for him to watch out for leon if he's close by. just a couple doors down in fact, at least temporarily. until they cleaned out the suite at the top they essentially used as storage for years after him, added a few new features to it that were simply a must for leon upon his "miraculous return." if you're going to make them beg to have you back then you may as well do it right.

until then he's stuck here. they both are. the idea has crossed his mind about bringing leon into his home, where at least they could both share far more privacy than this tower has ever known. but the logistics of getting him out of this forsaken place without someone asking too many goddamn questions about where he'll go, when he'll be back, the nonsensical works that has become this company; the thought of even sneaking him out of here with as many eyes and ears on him now is laughable, even for someone like either of them with such a skillset. they are truly stuck here.

but here shiloh can offer some sense of familiarity, maybe even some sense of peace to him should he need it. and sure enough, he was right to do so because in the end he does. he lets himself in, doesn't knock -- not that he needs to. he never needs to. he knows he's more than welcome to let himself in at any hour, for any reason. i can't find my room, he'd said, and i need a fucking cigarette.

so many things have changed and he can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for him. to come back and all that you've known has completely changed...

" well, you've found mine, " and before another word is said, he's reaching to grab the pack of cigarettes from the coffee table, pulling two from the box and a lighter, gifting him one cigarette. " and you can join me for a smoke. "

[nonsupe]

god save me this was the worst part.