#* If Souls came in Pairs Yours would be the Brighter Half of My Own * ::John&Chas:: {thedemonconstantine}

[thecursedhellblazer]

@blizzardmuses​​ sent: 🌟 🌟 🌟 (instead of any of my muses do Chas ‘cause I love him and am curious to hear HCs)

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Chas is the only reason why John hasn’t accidentally starved himself yet (if you don’t count that one time when they had parted ways after a very nasty fight and John had been homeless for a few months). Since the very start, the cabbie has always made sure that his soon-to-become best friend kept himself fed and hydrated, especially since that odd, eccentric bloke he had taken in looked a bit too thin and a bit too pale to be really healthy. Even when they are apart, for a reason or another, Chas phones him to make sure he taking care of himself at least once a week.

Useless to say, John totally exploits his best mate’s fussing tendencies. He can cook just fine, but why should he go through the trouble when Chas is more than happy to bring him leftovers or straight out cooking meals just for him? And the same thing goes for doing his shopping. Deep down, though, he is grateful, especially when he comes back from having dealt with the umpteenth, deadly mess and is ushered towards the shower while the flat already smells like something yummy. And it doesn’t hurt that there’s always a cool beer or two to go with it.

There’s absolutely nothing that Chas wouldn’t do for John. No matter how against it he might be, if Constantine tries hard enough, he can always manage to convince the cabbie. Perhaps the only line is drawn to things that might bring some sort of harm to Geraldine, but not even John is that much of a bastard, thankfully. He knows better than purposefully putting his best friend’s daughter in danger. However, that has never stopped him from forcing Chas to have to split between him and her and from stealing away some of the precious time the cabbie should have dedicated to his girl. It creates friction between them, but, at the end of the day, Chas forgives him for it. That’s another thing he always does.

This fact is at the same time the core of their relationship and its biggest issue. John isn’t a bad guy, even if there is no doubt that he can be a nasty piece of work and that he is dreadfully unhealthy most of the times. He knows that he is abusing Chas’s good heart and, especially, the endless soft spot the man has for him. He knows that he often asks more than he should, more than he deserves. He knows how much pain he puts the other man through at times. And yet, he just can’t bring himself to stop, or be a bit more decent about it.

There have been times made of apologies and subtle gestures, attempts to make up for everything he has taken that will never be enough. There have been times when they have both been terrified that they might have crossed one line too much, caused one wound too much for their complicated friendship to survive it. However, at the end of the day, John is right when he states that Chas will always crawl back to him, no matter what. And he is hellbent on making sure that it stays that way, for better or worse.

Since John doesn’t seem to understand the concept, Chas has taken up the habit of taking them on vacation once every two or three months, or every time he has the feeling that his best friend is wearing himself too thin. Constantine isn’t exactly thrilled about those little trips the cabbie surprises him with and there have been a few times when Chas has been forced to slip a tranquilliser in John’s drink so that he could pack him and their bags without the magician trying to ruin his plans or disappearing somewhere he cannot follow. It’s a risky move, but the cabbie is more than prepared to face his best friend’s rage in favour of promoting his physical and mental health.

John grumbles and complains the whole time of the trip to whatever location has been selected and he drags it one for the first couple of days. However, they both know that, for the most, all that fuming and being a pain about it is for show. The magician eventually gives up and even relaxes. He sleeps better than he usually does, for longer and less plagued by nightmares. He eats more regularly, drinks more water and less alcohol.

Half of the times their little getaways get interrupted by something that’s either after John or looking for his assistance, but Chas keeps himself content with what he can get out of them. As long as he can manage to create, even if just temporarily, some safe, steady ground for his best friend, he can consider himself satisfied.

[thecursedhellblazer]

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John & Demon John

John has a written list of all the names the Copy calls him and he adds any new one the Other might come up with during the many, endless fights they have. He keeps it hidden inside the cabin’s walls, with a few spells on it to make sure that no one (not even Tim) can understand what they are looking at in the case they ever find it, because the last thing he wants is being questioned about its meaning and the reason why he keeps it. There are nights when he is alone in the cabin, perhaps with a few drinks in him already, when he lies down on the couch and goes through the list, but snorting and rolling his eyes at the insults. He wonders, during those nights, how is it even possible for them to be, and yet, replaying the bastard’s voice spelling out those stupid, mocking names, makes the place feel much less empty.

Even if their fights usually consists in them butting heads (quite literally too), that isn’t the only way in which John and his demon end up antagonising each other. They both seem to have an unhealthy passions for messing with each other’s things. Getting rid of them, tampering with them till they can’t be used anymore, hiding them, turning them into something else, or even into tools to play some nasty pranks. That’s the reason why the two of them end up needing new razors and new toothbrushes even more often than they need to change the sheets of their bed or a new carpet. Chas hasn’t taken much to notice, considering that he is the one who’s usually in charge of the shopping, but he has tried to ask about it just half-heartedly. As much as the whole vexes him, he has learnt the hard way that, when those two are concerned, at times is really better not to ask.

There isn’t something that’s too trivial not to be used as an excuse for them to fight. The colour of the latest carpet Chas got them. Which plate happens to hold slightly more food at dinner. Who finished the last beer. How much ice cream John has stashed away for the season. It’s a never ending search for the most stupid pretext to argue and they both are extremely eager to win that particular competition. It’s also to be said, though, that the fights that are started over something that doesn’t truly make them angry are also the ones who ends less often with one of them storming out and not coming back for hours. They are the fights that can more easily be turned into something different, be it a roll among the sheets, a heated make out session or just an excuse for the Copy to wine and pout until John gives up, does what the bastard wants him to do and then they go and lie on the couch together, entangled and piled up one over the other as they mind their own business, pretending not to be enjoying the closeness they have achieved. It’s a perverse way to achieve such goals. It’s unhealthy and harmful and maddening. It’s all those things and worse. But it’s also theirs and theirs alone.

John’s favourite thing to do to remind his stubborn demonic self that he cares, whenever he feels a bit more sentimental, is making the Other breakfast. It might seem senseless, at times, because the Copy rarely goes in stasis every night, and it’s awfully domestic, but that’s the exact point. It’s a normal, little gesture, a taste of the sort of life none of them has ever been allowed to have. A taste that John has got, from time to time, during the years and that has given him more warmth and contentment than he cares to admit. It might be an illusion, but it’s a good, soothing one. It’s never openly spoken or openly explained, but it’s one of the few things the demon hardly complains about. He might offer some comment about how the bacon could have been more crispy or how he would have rather this kind of juice instead of whatever sort Constantine as selected, but the critiques are always just half-hearted. And if they happened to sit a little closer than they usually would on those mornings, no one ever seems to notice it.

John & Chas

John still has a picture of him and Chas from their old, crazy London days, when they were far more than friends, but never truly lovers. It’s an old black and white photo, one that Gaz had more or less accidentally taken of the two of them while fooling around with the newest cameras he had managed to get his hands on, without anyone else noticing. Chas had just finished to fix their mixer, after Beano had messed it up for the umpteenth time, and he was fidgeting on his feet, caught in the middle of explaining why you shouldn’t mess with the wires and the setting in such way. John was standing right next to him, a hand on the brunet’s shoulder and not-so-subtly leaning in his space. He was grinning, obviously amused at Chas’s slight agitation, looking completely at ease and genuinely so, for once. Even after years, the picture has never left whatever wallet John is carrying with him. He never shows it to anyone, and Chas himself probably doesn’t know that he still has it. Constantine doesn’t even look at it much, but he knows that it’s always there. He has put a spell on it to make sure that he can never, ver lose it.

Of all the hats Chas has lost or misplaced during the years, you can be sure that half of the times it was John’s fault. Nowadays it isn’t so frequent, but back when they were younger, after Ravenscar and after Constantine had started to recover from that experience, the magician used to find it hilarious to watch his best mate going crazy while turning his place and cab upside down, looking for his hat. Vain efforts, because by the time he realised that it was gone, it usually either was already in some other realm or had been wiped out of existence. The few that didn’t meet such a gruesome destiny have ended up among the wardrobe that John uses whenever he is pulling together some slightly more believable alternative outfit. Of course Chas suspects, to an extent, that Constantine has something to do with his missing hats. However, as per usual when his best mate is concerned, he is never able to get a definitive answer out of him.

Chas’s cab is one of the very few places John can doze off without too much effort. Maybe it’s the force of the habit, maybe it’s the presence of his life-long best friend, but sleep comes almost easy to him when they are riding back after some case or accident. Usually, he wouldn’t let exhaustion to take over him until he is back somewhere shielded by seals and runes circles, but Chas’s steady driving and the cabbie’s cursing are enough to lull him into feeling safe to the point of letting his guard slip down and his consciousness to fade, even if just for a little while. 

John & Tim

John exploited the renovation that he and his Other decided to do on the cabin to create some sort of “guest bedroom”, which is mostly intended for whenever Tim stays over (even if, of course, he avoided to mention that to the Copy for obvious reasons). It’s not much, just a corner of the main room, that however has been equipped with a decent mattress, fresh sheets that are used for it exclusively and a very small loft hanging just above the makeshift bed, which might or might not be suited exactly for Yoyo’s needs. The first time the teen stopped by and saw the modification, he shot John a knowing look that the magician pretended not to have noticed. They never really talked about it, just as they never really mentioned the fact that Tim might or might not have visited slightly more often after the new additions.

Despite all the times John has teased Chas for wanting to give Tim a more normal life, the truth is that he isn’t any better than his best friend in that regard. It might not show, because he is much more subtle than the cabbie’s declarations of intentions, but deep down he wishes for Tim to have the time to be and, especially, feel human, despite all the hardships and the misadventures that Fate has in store for him. And, while Constantine knows that he cannot give back what has already been taken away, or what has never been there in the first place, he is very well aware of what it means not being a chance to get something else to replace it. Having a safe environment, a steady ground to rely on. Someone who understands you almost fully and can put your first, even if he is a selfish bastard most of the times. That’s where it all comes from. The drinks and the late night talks. The sleepovers and the rescues. The helping hands and the never reluctant pieces of advice. Putting up with Yoyo even if he really hates the fucking bird’s guts. The sympathetic ear and all the efforts that John puts into keeping his one promise. This Tim, his Tim isn’t going to turn into any of the evil version they have seen and faced during the years of their relationship. Not under his watch. Not until he can give the teen something that, while it might not be perfect or constant, it can still be family.

John might or might have not put a tracking spell on Tim too, at some point. Not exactly on the teen himself, but on Yoyo, because usually, wherever one of them goes, the other follows. If it ever comes out, Constantine would blame it all on Chas, even if his best friend technically has just told him to “keep an eye on th’ lad”, without specifying how and how often. In the magician’s defence, he doesn’t use the tracker too often. The fact that Tim constantly travels among different realms, different times and different versions of realities would make it hard for John to follow him in any case. However, that doesn’t stop him from having a peek, now and then, especially if he hasn’t heard from the teen for a while. Whether Tim knows about the spell or not, it’s a mystery. He never mentioned it and John never asked. But, after all, that’s how a lot of things tend to work between them.

[thecursedhellblazer]

For @thedemonconstantine​​​​​​, who once again didn’t ask for it, but who gets my crap anyway u.u

domestic ship meme || Accepting !

(( I removed three of the prompts because they were the same of the previous meme! ))

JOHN & DEMON JOHN

who reaches out to new neighbors Luckily for everyone, they don’t have neighbours. John has picked a place in the middle of a forest, far away enough from the city, for the exact reason of not having to deal with busybodies and to be able to go around his occult business without having to worry about interruptions or to make up excuses to explain all the oddities that happen around them. After he has freed the Copy from Hell and the Other has become a more or less stable presence in his household, the choice had turned out to be an even more appropriate one. Between the fights and their messed up sexual life, they would have definitely got all the wrong kinds of unwanted attention. Whenever they happens to be elsewhere and make enough of a mess to alarm the people living nearby, they usually end up fighting even more because the Copy just want to off the witnesses, while John leans more towards deleting their memories with a spell. It usually ends with Chas clearing up the chaos, if they haven’t done anything irreparable, or always with Chas calling Zatanna for assistance, because John can’t really be trusted with that kind of spells. Whenever he tries them,while they do their job,  they also always end up having nasty side effects.

who remembers to buy healthy food The Copy eats only what he is fed with and basically everything he gets given, good or not so much. John, from time to time, on a good day, finds the patience and the will to cook for them both, but, at the end of the day, it’s only thanks to Chas if he has the ingredients to do it in the first place. Yet another reason for the Other to call the cabbie their “free maid”. John doesn’t say it as often, but he wholeheartedly agrees.

who remembers to buy junk food They either steal it from Chas’s secret stash (more about it in the next section) or John is the one who drags his ass to the store and buy whatever random junk the Copy has talked him into getting. There is nothing that he hates more than having to comply, but at times it’s the only way to avoid a fight when he is still healing and all sore because of the last one they had. At times, John just takes off with the excuse of them needing “supplies” because it gives him an excuse to have some space away from the Other, because there are moments when he really can’t stand being around him. Usually, it happens whenever he is feeling already unable to deal with himself and having the Copy around just makes it worse. Of course, the bastard seems to always notice and, if he sticks around for too long, the Other ends up exploiting the fact to torment him more than his own head is already doing.

who fixes the oven when it breaks They don’t fix anything. They are, one way or the other, the reason why everything has been broken in the first place, including themselves. John tries to avoid having the most violent fights happening inside, but at times they start so abruptly and so explosively that there’s nothing that can be done to prevent the damage. For the most, it usually ends with broken glasses and bottles, ruined sofa covers and carpets, a smashed chair and blood and maggots everywhere. However, there are occasions in which things get even more out of hand and they add cracks in the walls and thrash everything that happens to be too close to them, including forniture and appliances. In the aftermath, the Copy always leaves, dumping the task to clean up the mess all on John. Constantine usually waits for his demon blood to patch him up a bit, wipes away some of the blood, to make everything look less bad than it has been, and then calls Chas.

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s) John has some herbs and mystical greeneries he grows as ingredients for his spell. Some are in the vault and they are magical enough not to require his attention. Others are in the backyards of the cabin and nature takes care of them. Constantine bothers only with the ones who need a special kind of nourishment, but he still makes sure that they can fence for themselves for long periods in any case. What really takes a concrete effort it stopping the Copy from messing with them. The bastard had used some of them to poison John a few times, with nasty results. He would have probably died horribly, hadn’t it been for his tainted blood, so he just went through the horrible part without actually dying. The Other got his face burnt off with magic or he found himself trapped in a very small cage for days to no end after every single episode. Also, it happens often enough, far too often for Constantine’s liking, that he takes away the on ingredient the magician needs, and urgently, to complete whatever spell or potion he is working on.

who makes the bed None of them cares about it, also because it usually gets thrashed all over again, for one reason or the other. John changes the sheets when they are too soiled with dried blood or too torn to be used (and it happens more often than he’s ready to admit) and it’s only because he put a protective spell on the mattress that he doesn’t have to change it too every two weeks or so. Whenever Chas comes around and is willing to doe some chores, they leave that part to him too, even if, after a while, the cabbie got fed up enough to refuse to do it whenever the bed had got too filthy. He might be their best friend and he might be ready and resigned to clean after them, but he has to protect his own mental sanity too.

who makes the coffee John...just to have it stolen from his hands before he can even get a sip out of the mug. At times the Copy drinks it in his face, especially when it’s the last they had left, others he simply throws it on the floor. Or on his Maker (the hotter, the better in such case).  Some of the burns have even scarred and John hasn’t stayed pissed even after the demon has “not-apologised” (he almost never makes the effort, so when he does it’s supposed to truly mean something, but the magician is simply too done with him to appreciate it at times.) By now Constantine has learnt to be smarter about it, either avoiding to even just look at the machine whenever the Other is around or never pouring it all, so he can get more once he has managed to kick the demon’s wounded ass out of the cabin and into a portal for a trip in some nasty realm, so he can have his breakfast in peace. 

who burns breakfast The Copy doesn’t cook or bother with anything related to that so, when it happens, it’s usually John’s doing. That said, it’s also true that most of the times it’s the Other’s fault too, because he’s the one to distract his Maker from what he is doing, either starting a fight or more pleasurable activities. Then there was that one, odd time when John woke up to smoke from the ground floor of the cabin, just to find that the Copy had somehow managed to incinerate whatever food he had been trying to make and the whole cooker with it. It was the anniversary of the demon’s creation and John had been so stunned that he hadn’t even managed to say a single word on the matter. Later on, when Chas had come over to see if the appliance was salvageable, he had taken the blame from the accident instead of putting it on his demonic self. They never spoke of it again, but that very same night was one of the extremely rare times when their passion held almost no violence in it, despite it being particularly intense, and everything was agonisingly slow.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house They don’t. Each of them goes and comes as he pleases. The only times when John warns the Copy is when he knows that he’ll be away for some time and it’s mostly to warn him not to wreak havoc in his absence if he doesn’t want to suffer the consequences of it. The threats mostly fall onto deaf ears, but at least he can say that he has given the bastard a fair warning when he finds himself forced to keep his word.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home It depends on the circumstances. For the most with insults and cutting remarks that can either end in a session of bickering or lead up to a real fight. Other times they simply ignore each other past a brief glare. Then there are the times when they haven’t seen each other in a good while and they are too impatient to even go through their usual foreplay, so they just lace onto each other and shreds their clothes off, making themselves unavailable for the next three hours, at least.

who picks the movie for movie night / their favorite kind of movie to watch Their movie night is game night and that usually means that Chas comes over too. It’s perhaps the most normal part of their fucked up routine and John has come to appreciate it exactly for that reason. After he has chosen to bring the Copy back in his life, most of his habits had got screwed up and, while he is used to deal with dangers and chaos, he misses the quiet moments even more for the mere reason that they are now even more often denied to him. Chas’s presence usually means both more tension and more balance, because his best friend is on the edge and glaring whenever the Other is around, but, at the same time, the Copy behaves a bit more because he knows that pissing John off on those nights means being sent away and leaving the two men to enjoy each other’s company. The idea nags him more than he is ready to admit. If a movie happens instead of the game, it’s usually of the sort that has made Chas emotional in other occasions. And that never gets old.

who first suggests a pillow fort / who builds the pillow fort Pillow forts or anything of the sort truly are not their thing. It’s something that would have never crossed their minds if it hadn’t been for that one cursed time when Tim had come up with the idea. Of course, the teen’s only aim had been to make both Johns uncomfortable and feeling like two idiots, even if he had hide it behind the excuse of wanting to understand why some young humans enjoyed the idea so much. Useless to say, he managed to make them miserable and even more annoyed because Yoyo, on his part, had appreciated very much being allowed to perch in peace over all those pillows, while staring at them both amused and judgemental. The fort had been later set on fire as some lame attempt of payback. For the most, it had been done in the hope that the shame would have burnt with it.

who tries to distract the other during the movie Most of the times it’s the Copy. John does it too, but less often. In any case, if they are alone, it’s rare that they get to finish whatever they are watching, be it because they end up painting the floor red and each other black and blue or because they decide that the movie can go screw itself while they screw each other. Or both. The fights begin verbally and quickly escalate into physical violence, and they can be born out of a bad comment or a wrong word or just out of nothing. The sex, instead, can either start with no preambles and one of them simply throwing the other down on the couch or on the floor, or it can be more subtle, with not so random touches escalating into a full groping and kissing.

who falls asleep first Depends on the circumstances. The Copy doesn’t need to sleep, so there are times when he doesn’t even stick around once they are done with each other and John sleeps it off on his own. In other occasions, the demon waits for his Maker to have fallen asleep or purposefully knocks him out, so he can have the chance to keep him close in his arms until he starts to stir again. Other times again, it’s exactly the other way around, with John waiting for the Copy to go into stasis so he can non-cuddle him. However, it starts, the next morning, they never really talk about or acknowledge the fact that they have woken up entangled in each other in a way that speaks of everything but the hatred they are so keen on openly proclaiming to each other.

----

JOHN & CHAS

who reaches out to new neighbors John doesn’t have neighbours, since his cabin is set literally in the middle of nowhere, and it’s usually Chas who stays over and not the other way around. However, there are times when they are staying in some other city/town for a few days and they have to rent a place or take a motel room. John’s dabbling with magic can cause some mayhem, which can result in injuries, very odd noises or him coming back in a state that is either indecent or worrisome and it’s up to Chas to take care of public relations, which includes making sure no one calls the police. No need for their American criminal records to get as bad as their English ones.

who remembers to buy healthy food Chas. He is the one who does the shopping in general, because all John never forgets to buy are cigarettes and booze. All the rest he is very likely to forgo, especially when he has his head wrapped up into something. Chas has learnt since their very first months together that being Constantine’s best friend means being his keeper too. Besides, he likes cooking, so it’s never that much of a bother.

who remembers to buy junk food Again, Chas. He stocks up for movies night and keeps a small stash of snacks for whenever Tim shows up at their door. He usually tries to hide it in the most creative ways he can think of, because John tends to dig it up whenever he is staying on his own for too long and can’t be persuaded to go and get actual food. Useless to say, the magician always manages to find it...even when he hides it in his own flat. Chas can’t wrap his head around why his best mate goes through all the trouble of planeswalking just to do that and yet he can’t be bothered to make a simple trip to the store. One of the many mysteries of John Constantine.

who fixes the oven when it breaks Chas is the one who handles most of the repairs, especially when they involve appliances and daily life objects. If it was up to John, those things would simply be left there and stay broken till the day he decides to throw them out to make space for something else. There was one time when Chas wanted to see for how long John could keep up his pretense of not caring and he didn’t replace the coffee maker after it had got involved in a “magical incident”, which had completely fried it. He watched Constantine trying to use it every morning and late night for over two months, getting mad at it and manhandling it, even if he knew very well that the thing couldn’t have worked in any case, before giving in and getting his best friend a new one out of exasperation.

who waters the plants/feeds their pet(s) If they had a pet, it would probably be Chas’s and, as such, his complete responsibility. John might agree to feed it, if the cabbie truly begged him to look after it for one night because he has to work. In the aftermath, both John and the dog would hope that such thing never happens again. As for the plants, as mentioned above, John has some greenery lying around, but it really doesn’t take much work or attention.

who makes the bed Chas makes his own every morning. Once upon a time, he used to make John’s too, if he happened to get the time, but he has quickly learnt not to bother because all he gets out of it is for his best friend to protest and mess it up once again. Now, he sticks to changing the sheets once in a while. Unless he knows that John has had some unconventional company over the night before. In that case, he stands there, glaring sternly, hands on his hips, until John takes care of them.

who makes the coffee Chas makes fresh when if he is around, also because at times it’s a good way to lure his best friend out of bed without having to use force, otherwise John gets it from a bar or use the coffee maker (if his current one is functional).

who burns breakfast John has a long record of burning things, starting with Chas’s old kitchen back when they were still living with the cabbie’s mother. That was an accident involving a spell gone wrong and, with some practice, he has managed to become a decent cook too. However, he also has the bad habit of getting distractive easily, especially if he is hangover or running on no sleep, so...accidents happen. Not to mention that he still uses kitchen utensils for spells, so that one time in Chas’s old kitchen hasn’t been the first and only fire he has started in such circumstances.

how do they let each other know they’re leaving the house Chas usually gives John a shout, saying that he is heading out. If the magician is too busy or can’t hear him for some reason, he leaves a note saying where he is heading off on the fridge or on the table attached to a bottle of beer, to make sure that Constantine finds him. John most of the times just leaves without a word. It has happened that Chas has kept talking to him, while busy doing chores or cooking, only to realise that the bastard has left mid-conversation and that he has been talking to no one like an idiot for over ten minutes.

how do they greet each other when one of them gets home Usually they come back together, since Chas always drives John back to the cabin before heading off to his own place. When they meet up, it’s usually with a greeting from Chas’s parts and an exchange of playful insults, maybe a hand on the back, on normal days, and either silence or brief, sharp words on bad ones. If John is really in a good mood, which doesn’t happen often, he might even lean in and presse a kiss on Chas’s cheek, before walking off into the room with a teasing smirk. The cabbie almost never fails to flush a bit and that amuses him to no end.

who picks the movie for movie night / their favorite kind of movie to watch They have a game night more than a movie night and usually they both want to watch the same thing, so it’s never too hard to pick something they both want to watch. From time to time John brings back this or that B movie and forces Chas to sit with him through it so that he can talk the cabbie’s ears off with his complaints. Then, there are the very few times when Geraldine comes to visit Chas in the States, instead of the man flying back to England, and Chas manages to trick John into spending the evening with them. They mostly watch either cartoons or teen movies. Useless to say, Constantine sulks the whole time, but Chas has his little girl there with him, with them, and he can’t give less of a damn. Plus, he feeds John good food and enough beer to keep him tamed in any case, so the night never gets spoiled.

who first suggests a pillow fort / who builds the pillow fort It’s another small thing they end up doing when Geraldine comes over. Mostly, it’s Chas and the girl playing and John watching them from the couch with a drink or from outside the balcony while he smokes (no smoking in the flat while Gera is over. That’s one rule Chas forces on him every time, no protests allowed). Then there was one time when John hs found himself having to “babysit” Tefé and, of course, he called Chas to help, because his best friend is much better with kids than he will ever be. It turned out that the girl had no idea of what a pillow fort was and, by the end of her staying, John’s cabin had gained a new, small tree house made of vines, large leaves and pillows.

who tries to distract the other during the movie John, all the way. He is the one who never shuts up during movies in the first place and, when he gets bored with them (and it usually happens the few times it’s Chas to pick a movie he really wants to watch), he starts poking his best friend, verbally and physically. One time when everything else failed to distract Chas, he even started a make-out session out of the blue, just to leave the cabbie’s all hot and bothered and unsatisfied in the aftermath. He wasn’t in a much better state, but he still had to “prove a point”. He only behaves during Geraldine’s movie nights. He is a nasty piece of work, but he knows where to draw a line, at least when it comes to certain things.

who falls asleep first It depends on the circumstances. Usually, it’s John, because when Chas drags him to bed it’s because he hasn’t been sleeping or he is drunk off his sorry ass or he is badly injured. It’s usually John the few times they end up in bed together too, since Constantine feels safe enough to pass out and get the rest he rarely allows himself to have. There are other times when Chas stays over and dozes off on the couch or on the “guest bed” while John goes around his business and the magician always takes a moment to throw a blanker over him before either heading off to bed himself or going back to whatever he was doing. Also, when he comes over during Geraldine’s visit, both father and daughter always end up falling asleep first, together, and John sticks around to make sure they are comfortable, before heading back to his own place.

[thecursedhellblazer]

For @thedemonconstantine​​​: you didn’t ask for it, but I couldn’t resist so I delivered anyway xD

Look at our idiots together || Accepting !

JOHN & DEMON JOHN

who hogs the duvet Honestly? Both. It’s not even about the damn thing, it’s all a ruse to have an excuse to fight over something, even in a moment that’s supposed to be a quiet one. Most of the times it ends with the poor duvet being forgotten and them shoving at each other, insults flying around, hands fisted in clothes and hair. Then...one thing leads to another, up to a quite predictable finale.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going None of them. John put a tracking rune on his Other, so he always know where he is and he prefers showing up in person to check on whatever he is doing if the Copy heads off somewhere suspicious. As for Demon John, he probably calls and texts John just when his Maker is doing something that requires focusing, with the only aim of annoying the hell out of him. And he does it even if he’s sitting in the next room.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts Depends on your definition of “creative”. And of “gifts” too. Demon John makes sure to pull out embarrassing “presents” (like stuff they can use in their private time) every time John has company (mostly Tim and Chas, but there was that one time when Zatanna came to visit...Not the best way to let their ex girlfriend know that they are a thing. And that the Copy exists in the first place). John usually retaliates by dumping spells and holy water on his Other’s head, because a bit of “healthy cleansing” never harms. And, if it does, oh, “yeh asked for it, mate”. However, there are very rare moments when they are being oddly civil with each other (and every time it happens Chas starts preparing for yet another Apocalypse, because that has to be a sign) and, in such periods of truce, some actual gifts might happen. John breaks out his best bottles of wine and liquor (the expensive ones he stole or got gifted in the past, the ones he keeps for special occasions) just for the two of them, because he feels like “drinkin’ some better shite”. The Copy pops back from Hell with some rare ingredient or a small artifact he found “by chance” along his way. They never acknowledge it, but it happens.

who gets up first in the morning They tend to get out of bed (or of whatever they have been sleeping in) at the same time, for the mere reason that they have Chas coming in and kicking their asses out of bed (he tries the gentle way first, with the promise of breakfast, but it works only half of the times). If John has a case or a meeting or stuff to do in general, he might be the one to crawl out of bed and leave the Copy to laze among the sheets. Demon John doesn’t necessarily need sleep, but he does anyway because he is a lazy bastard and he likes to taunt John with that fact that he doesn’t need to be up and running while his Maker has to. Plus, maybe, very deep down, part of the truth might be that he likes sharing John’s space and sleeping with him gives him a good excuse to do so.

who suggests new things in bed They are constantly looking for ways to torment each other, so most of the times is a competition to find new ways to push each other out of their comfort zone. For now, they are both losing, because there are very few things that have turned out to be a categorical ‘no’ and, when it happens, it’s usually a shared opinion. This doesn’t stop them from trying, though. On the contrary, it spurs them on even more. 

who cries at movies None of them. Usually them watching a movie together means a ton of annoying commentary that irks everyone who happens to be around. There was this one time when they caught Chas getting emotional over a movie, though. Useless to say, the poor man didn’t hear the end of it for weeks and weeks.

who gives unprompted massages Oddly enough, John does, from time to time. They are moments when he has been drinking, but isn’t drunk just yet. The alcohol gives him that bit of liquid courage he needs to admit that he might be craving some physical intimacy that doesn’t involve having heated, complicated, perverted sex, and so he settles behind wherever the Copy is sitting and works his hands all over the Other’s back. Demon John called him out and mocked him about it at first, but he stopped the one time John got really pissed and threatened to stop doing it completely. In the Copy’s defence, no one knows how to work the knots out of your muscles better than yourself.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick No one fusses. On the contrary, whenever one of them is sick or injured (and mostly is John because, demon blood or not, he’s still human), it’s a festival of mockery and making sure the unlucky one gets even more miserable than they already are. It still happens, even if they have tuned it a bit down after an exasperated Zatanna has threatened to put a spell on them both, to make sure that when one of them gets sick, the other does too. 

who gets jealous easiest Demon John. It’s just part of his personality, considering that John has tried (and apparently failed) to shove all his worst traits inside him. The fact that they are both natural flirts doesn’t help the issue and the episodes always tend to end in very ugly fights and temporary break-ups. Useless to say, John is forced to hunt down the Copy every single time in the aftermath, because the Other goes around and wreaks havoc (out of spite, he says, but maybe that’s not all that there is to it).

who has the most embarrassing taste in music They have the same exact tastes when it comes to music, so mocking each other every time one of them gets a new tune stuck in his head is something they have quickly stopped doing after they have realised that it usually ends with the both of them having said song stuck in their heads. And, that considered, the only one who gets to tease them about it is Chas. And Tim too, if he happens to be around and in the mood.

who collects something unusual Collecting magical and cursed artifacts is part of what John does for a living. The Copy doesn’t really care for them, unless they are something that can come useful to him in some way, so he normally leaves that sort of oddity to his Maker.

who takes the longest to get ready John can take ages in the shower whenever he is too hangover to process what he is doing or hasn’t slept in days. Demon John takes ages just because he doesn’t really want to get ready for whatever they are supposed to do. Cue to Chas, waiting outside in the cab, drumming his fingers and wondering if he should just head off on his own and have them reach him once they are ready via planeswalking.

who is the most tidy and organised They are both messy as hell. John tries to keep his living space clean, but the only reason why the place isn’t a complete dumpster is because their best friend is patient enough to clean after them. Of course, double John means double mess and double trouble...And Chas should really start asking to get paid.

who gets most excited about the holidays None of them has a real definition of “holiday”. Not in the common sense of the term. For people who live their kind of life, vacations aren’t exactly common, or something they bother with in general. It happens that John decides to take some time off from actively looking for trouble, also because the troubles usually come finding him anyway, and they all go off somewhere that is supposed to be quiet (as quiet as it can be with the pair of them around). It’s not something they get excited about, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t appreciate.

who is the big spoon/little spoon Spooning isn’t something that happens often. Most of the times, they end up tangled in each other, face to face. In any case, as almost everything in their relationship, they go for switching, depending on the mood or simply on whoever has lost their latest bet. The little spoon gets an unhealthy amount of mocking all the way through it, so it’s not a position either of them really looks forward to finding himself in (unless Demon John is really in the mood of being degraded. He makes sure to lose at the games on purpose, in that case).

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports Considering that every chance is good enough to try and best each other, they both are insanely competitive at pretty much everything. They are both incredibly sore losers and cheating is their norm, which makes it an official part of the games. However, the worst happens whenever they are teaming up against some unfortunate opponent, because their competitive streaks sum up and good luck getting out of a game against them in one piece.

who starts the most arguments They both never miss the chance to have a go at the other, but Demon John tends to poke John a bit more often than the magician does. While John loves fighting, there are times when he honestly just wants to enjoy a quiet pint and instead he finds having to deal with his Other being a pain in the ass for the whole night. 

who suggests that they buy a pet Aside from John’s occasional fantasies to stash the First in the Chest that Tim has gifted him, none of them are the pet kind of person. Chas, on the other hand, would kill to get a dog or two, so, if they’d ever end up with one or with a hellhound, you know whose fault it is.

what couple traditions they have Does screwing on every surface, available or not, count as one? Aside from that, they take one night per week to go off somewhere on their own, not much for privacy but because John thinks that Chas needs some breathing space. What they do changes every time. They might go somewhere and get drunk, or go off to some other realm and wreak some mostly harmless havoc. From time to time (rarely), they head off to visit one of John’s few mates, because their reaction to the pair of them is always hilarious. Also, when they are drunk, they get the idiotic idea of impersonating each other, because they find it hilarious, for some obscure reason, and switch roles. Chas, Tim and Yoyo are beyond unimpressed.

what tv shows they watch together TV shows aren’t really their thing. At times, they just sprawl on the couch and watch whatever trash it’s airing, for the sake of being able to exchange comments or bicker over it. Watching games is more likely to happen, but in that case Chas is there with them too, and it becomes more of a buddies kind of night.

what other couple they hang out with Double dating is not even up for discussion. It can’t work because it constantly ends up with everyone feeling uncomfortable (aside from Demon John, who always laughs his ass off). There has been one time when they both stalked Chas while he was hanging out with this cute woman he had run into and the ordeal ended into a full-fledged disaster. Zatanna tried to introduce John to her current boyfriend, but of course she should have expected that he would have showed up with the Copy in tow (even if, in John’s defence, he tried to make the Other stay behind). As for whatever girl falls in love with Tim, they really don’t need more rotten luck coming in their way, so they are both forbidden to meet them as a pair.

how they spend time together as a couple Aside from the obvious (which means fucking, drinking, fighting, being a pain in everyone else’s neck), Demon John has taken up the habit of tagging along for John’s (mis)adventures. He usually isn’t very helpful, but John, on good days, appreciates the company in any case. They also go demon hunting together, from time to time, just to have a laugh out of it. The demons who already hate John’s guts are anything but pleased to find out that there are two of them now. Also, during one of his visits, Tim has suggested them this very nice pic-nic spot in Hell, set over a cliff, with a great view of a lava field where some damned souls are being tormented. The ground is mostly burnt, but in some periods of the years the plain also grows some spectacular fire flowers. They smell a bit too much like rotten eggs, but they are quite the sight (”romantic”, Tim has called it). An added bonus is that the place also happens to be property of the current Ruler of Hell and the First is never amused to find the pair making a mess of his field and of each other.

who made the first move It’s a bit difficult to say, because it depends on what should be classified as “first move” in their case. Technically speaking, the sexual (and romantic) part of their relationship started because the Copy kidnapped Tim to get his payback on him for rescuing John from his clutches. However, on the other hand, the one who officially crossed the line during the consequent fight was John. It’s definitely up to interpretation.

who brings flowers home Whoever is in the mood to try and either curse or poison or make the other sick as payback for whatever has been done to him earlier on. Once again, the eventual witnesses to the scene are not impressed.

who is the best cook Considering that Demon John most likely doesn’t even care to learn how to turn the cooker on, it’s John. He has been forced to learn how to put meals together, since he has lived on his own for most of his life. He isn’t stellar, but he can be pretty good when he puts some effort into it. Plus, even if he would never admit it, he finds cooking relaxing from time to time and fun, whenever he chooses to experiment with it (even if that last thing is at very high risk of setting something on fire).

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JOHN & CHAS

who hogs the duvet John moves around a lot in his sleep, so he often ends up stealing the thing and then kicking it on the floor. Chas lets him do it and, if he wakes up during the night, he always makes sure to get the duvet back and to tuck in John under it once again. He is aware that it’s pretty useless, because the blanket is fated to fall on the ground once again, but it’s all part of his self-appointed job (namely, taking care of that disaster man he can’t live without). 

who texts/rings to check how their day is going Chas. He knows that John isn’t very good at taking care of himself, so he rings in, when they are apart for a prolonged amount of time. The magician doesn’t always pick up or at times he hangs up in his face, but Chas doesn’t take offence. That’s just whom John is. As for John, he doesn’t call or text unless he needs something or wants to share some completely useless piece of information. However, he tends to do the second thing mostly with Chas and Chas only and the latter knows, by now, that it’s his way to tell him that he is alright. You can’t get John Constantine to tell you straight in the face that he cares, but he shows it, in his own weird way. Good thing Chas has learnt to read between the lines a long time before.

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts John brings back the weirdest kinds of souvenirs from his trips, so he definitely wins the price for the oddest gifts. Some of them are completely useless, others are bordering dangerous, but from time to time he also gets his hands on tokens that have a use or can bring some decent luck to their owner. He slips them in Chas’s pockets without saying a word, stealing his cigarettes in the process. Chas’s gifts are more of the normal kind, but he makes sure to get everything John is currently missing, because he is well aware that the other might not go around and buy them until he is desperate. In the end, it doesn’t really matter what exactly he gets him, because John always sees is one thing: Chas being there, having his back all the time, no matter what. And there is no best present than that. Especially because he is absolutely persuaded that he doesn’t deserve any of it.

who gets up first in the morning Chas. He always lets John sleeping in a bit, even when they are supposed to be out and about early. The time to cook him breakfast, at least, especially when the blond has stayed up till almost dawn, doing only God knows what. It’s a bit of a morning routine they have established and they are both quite comfortable with it. Even when Chas is forced to literally kick John out of the bed.

who suggests new things in bed They can both get pretty creative. John has tons of experience from sleeping with non-humans, so he usually is the one who spits out the new ideas, always making sure to tell the whole story while they are sharing drinks or spending a quiet night in. Chas tends to be game for almost everything, because he trusts John and he knows that his best friend comes in very odd flavours, even if he is a bit weary every time there is some spell or magic involved. But damn if he doesn’t prefer having just a more normal fuck from time to time.

who cries at movies As mentioned above, John isn’t very likely to get emotional over a movie...or anything else. Chas is a bit more open with his feelings, even if he doesn’t go as far as crying, and that usually gains him a good amount of teasing. There are certain times, however, when John is in one of his weird moods and some themes might trigger memories or dark thoughts. He closes off and gets sour, even if he doesn’t say anything. Not that he needs to, since his best friend knows him too well to miss the shift. When it happens, Chas usually turns off the TV, saying he has got bored, and they go off for a drink to their favourite pub, or maybe just have a walk or a ride somewhere. John plays along, pretending to believe Chas’s excuses, but he is well aware of what the other man is doing. And those are some of the many moments when he can’t not admit how lucky he is to have Chas with him, in spite of everything.

who gives unprompted massages Usually, it’s Chas. John is almost constantly tense as a wire, even if he is very good at hiding it. Sometimes it’s subtle, with Chas going to stand behind his and rubbing his shoulders for a while, others he bullies the magician into lying down and being still while he gives him a full back rub. John protests every time, but his heart isn’t in it, because he knows he needs it and because Chas works miracles with his hands. It happens, more rarely, that the roles are reversed and John is the one giving the massages. Usually it happens on the days when Chas is missing his daughter more than the usual or when he has been forced into one, long fight on the phone with René. Or after some tough case. John breaks out a bottle of their best gin, pours Chas a glass, downs a shot himself and then gets to work. There’s no talking, but he always spends at least a good hour straddling the other man’s thighs and working on removing every single knot he can find in his muscles. And if Chas happens to doze off in the process, he then grabs the bottle and goes off in the basement, leaving the other man to his well-earned and much needed rest.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick Again, it’s Chas. He fusses and worries and covers John with attentions, even when they aren’t wanted or appreciated and when he gets yelled because the magician just wants to lie down and be miserable. However, no matter what he might say, John still gets soup, fresh sheets,painkillers, and has his alcohol and cigarettes intakes restricted. Moreover, Chas is usually the one doing the patching up after a bad fight or a mission gone wrong. John, instead, sucks at being a nurse, even if he tries from time to time. He tries to be quieter and to give Chas more space to rest. He breaks out the healing spells Zatanna had tried to teach him once upon a time and gets them to work, when normally he can hardly heal a flesh wound with them. He delivers all of it wrapped in a constant dose of teasing, but it’s hard not to miss the care and the attention he puts in every single gesture.

who gets jealous easiest Jealousy is a bit of an odd thing with them. They aren’t together, not in the normal sense of the term, and John still sleeps around from time to time, even if not as much as he used to do. On the other hand, Chas is technically still married to René. They balance it, because they put their friendship before any romantic or sexual attraction they have for each other, but at times it stings. For Chas, it can be hard to see John going off with others, even while they were supposed to be out together. As for John, he sees the looks that some girls (and some men too) give to his best friend and he can’t help the bitterness, even if he knows that Chas wouldn’t do anything about those (hard to tell if it’s because he is still married or because he is trying to stay faithful to John himself). What makes the magician jealous, however, is the awareness that those people could give Chas what he deserves, while he, with the kind of life and choices he makes, would never be able to accomplish it.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music They both have their moments. Sometimes, one of the latest hits gets stuck in their heads and it’s usually some very embarrassing song for teenagers and that always ends in a lot of teasing coming from the other. It’s a bit of a game, with one trying to stop himself from humming along whenever the song is aired on the radio and the other eventually catching up with what’s happening.

who collects something unusual As mentioned above, collecting weird things is part of what John does. Chas helps him out in the basement from time to time, so he has a very good idea of what is stashed down there. He would never admit it to John, but at times he really wishes he could unsee and forget about some of the things he has witnessed in the vault. Especially when some of them end up in John’s mouth. He has seen pretty much a bit of everything, but witnessing his best friend touching and swallowing things that are instinctively revolting still gets to him from time to time.

who takes the longest to get ready They are both pretty quick with getting ready, but John has his moments when he is too gone to be able to coordinate his own movements, whether it is because he’s drunk, because he is too sleep deprived or because his head is completely elsewhere. When that happens, all Chas can do is making sure to have aspirins and coffee at hand and arm himself with a good dose of patience. Thankfully, when it comes to dealing with John, he has a lot to start with.

who is the most tidy and organised Chas. He is the only reason why John doesn’t live in the middle of Chaos. Truth to be told, the magician can clean up after himself, but there are periods when he is obsessed with something or has too many mood swings and he completely forgets about everything that concerns care and self-care. He doesn’t eat enough, he doesn’t sleep enough, he drinks and smokes too much. He leaves everything hanging around, from trash to clothes, to dirty dishes, to empty bottles. He doesn’t listen, he even forgets that Chas is there at times. Eventually, he gets back to his normal self, but they are usually rough periods, for them both.

who gets most excited about the holidays Excited isn’t the right word, but usually it’s Chas. “Holidays” with John means “no more magical shit for some time”, which usually translates in not having anyone trying to kill them and being able to properly relax. Of course, it never lasts because John gets restless too soon, but it’s still a good chance for them to recharge a bit. The holidays Chas gets excited about, instead, are Geraldine’s ones. They are the periods when she gets back from boarding school and he travels back to England to spend time with his daughter. He asks John to tag along every time, but the answer is always a negative one. He doesn’t push, because he expects it, but he can’t help the disappointment. John is and will always been an important part of his life, no matter the status of their relationship and he wished he could be a part of his daughter’s life as well exactly because he is important to him. But, then again, dealing with Constantine means having to find a compromise and he takes what he can, even if it means splitting between the two important people in his life.

who is the big spoon/little spoon They tend to take “turns”, when the cuddling actually happens, which isn’t all the time. John has to be in the mood for it and Chas respects the boundaries, even if, was it up to him, they’d be touching all the time when they are alone. Chas honestly love being allowed to hold John, wrapping himself around him. It gives him the illusion that he can keep the blond there with him, it allows him to forget, for a while, that John is going to slip from his fingers once again, as soon as the moment is over. And, deep down, John likes to he held too, because the gesture gives him a delusion of the peace and the warmth he will most likely never be allowed to have. And he enjoys being the one holding Chas too, from time to time, because it helps him believing that there is something he can give to his best friend that isn’t just misery and grief. He needs to believe that he can protect him, that he can be a decent person for him, that he can make the price of the wonders he shows him worth paying. Chas just basks in the feeling of having John’s arms around him because they are the reminder that, in spite of everything, he is, one way or the other, the one person John fights to keep in his life.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports They are both pretty competitive, so their matches can get heated, especially when they are drinking their way through it. However, John is a sore loser and a cheater, so he ends up winning most of the times, either because he bends the rules to his own will or because Chas let him win. Antagonising a drunk, overly competitive magician isn��t always the best idea and, while he knows that John would never really harm him beyond repair, experience has taught him that he can been scaringly vindictive when he decides to be.

who starts the most arguments John. He is often careless with his words or too brutally honest when he shouldn’t be. When he is angry, he lashes out, taking all his rage out on the closest person to him. And said person happens to be Chas most of the times. As for Chas, he is usually patient and knows John well enough to know not to bite when the other tries to provoke him on purpose, but there is only so much he can do to bear him when the blond hits all his buttons at the same time. When he is the one to snap, the arguments are always the most vicious and a few times they have ended with John using magic on him, just as he did the day he left London. He has never spoken like that one time again, of course, because that’s one line he doesn’t wish to cross a second time, but they have come close to it in a couple of occasions.

who suggests that they buy a pet Chas likes dogs and he is hellbent on getting one (this is your headcanon and I love it, so here it goes again x’D). John couldn’t care less for having a pet, mostly because they are more of a bother than anything else. Besides, if he had to pick something, he would go for a cat or for a snake, because they are far less trouble. Or some magical creature that can mostly take care of itself. It’s a still ongoing argument, with the result that the only pet they get to have is Yoyo whenever Tim stays with them for some time. Considering the amount of time John spends fighting with the bird, he and Chas have agreed that, whatever happens, their possible future pet won’t have feathers. Of any sort.

what couple traditions they have Their “couple traditions” coincide pretty much with their “best mates traditions”. The watch sports on TV, go out for drinks, have road trips and, from time to time, some sight-seeing. Picking up bar fights might as well be part of the list, considering how often it happens. They also spend their quieter nights on the couch, sharing a beer and talking about their shared past, or about the things they have done while separated. From time to time, when they get nostalgic over their younger years, they end up recreating the settings of their most memorable hook-ups. It’s never the same, and perhaps it’s for the best, but satiated their shared desire for closeness.

what tv shows they watch together They usually go for sports, but it happens from time to time that one of them gets mildly interested in some soap opera or TV show and they watch it together to have a laugh. The most memorable time has been when John forced Chas to binge all eight the seasons of “House, M.D.” and the poor man was forced to hear, among the other things, the magician going about, in every single episode, how the protagonist and his best friend should have just “shut the fuck up n’ fuck already”.

what other couple they hang out with They aren’t officially a couple, so they can’t exactly double date. They see Zatanna and some others of John’s mates, from time to time, but those outings are considered meetings between friends and acquaintances. Alternatively, it’s always the two of them with Tim and Yoyo, and those are, even if none of them uses that term, “family reunions”.

how they spend time together as a couple They do all the things they have always done during the years, after Newcastle and Ravenscar. They act much more like best buddies than anything else, with the addition of the fact that a life with John Constantine includes demons, angels, magic and all the rest of those particular lots. There is always a danger waiting behind the corner, or some sort of Apocalypse they need to stop. Plus, the random hook-ups and the rare, but meaningful moments of tenderness, but those are something they never talk about in the aftermath.

who made the first move John. Back when they first met, he was the one who decided that he wanted to screw the pretty brunet who had fixed his band’s mixer and he was the one to kiss Chas first that very same night. And he was also the one to kiss Chas outside the pub, almost two decades later, before leaving for the States. Moreover, he was the one to send the first text to allow them to reconnect, but that was just because Chas didn’t have his new number or address. Otherwise, they both know that Chas would have reached out first.

who brings flowers home Chas, but he does it for himself, not for John. The place definitely use some colours and, besides, they smell much better than all the potion John insists on preparing in the kitchenette of the cabin.

who is the best cook As stated above, John can manage in the kitchen, but Chas is much better than him and, especially, he’s the one who takes care of the cooking more of the times. It’s the best way to get proper meals at appropriate times. Whenever he leaves it up to John, he ends up having breakfast at 3 in the afternoon and dinner at dawn. Useless to say that, since he likes his routine, he prefers taking the matter in his hands.

[thecursedhellblazer]

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