#*˖ ⊹ brady ackerman ☆ﾟ ( ft. indie )

[apcthetics]

*˖ ⊹     this  whole  situation  was  unfair  to  himself.  brady  knew  that.  all  he  was  doing  was  pretending.  for  years,  him  and  indie  had  just  narrowly  missed  each  other.  each  valentine’s  day  for  the  last  five  years,  at  least  one  of  them  had  been  dealing  through  some  kind  of  (  difficult  and  often  forced  )  relationship.  even  if  he  had  wanted  to  spend  his  day  with  indie,  do  something  special  to  show  her  his  appreciation,  other  people  had  always  been  in  the  way.  what  would  his  girlfriends  think  if  he  had  put  more  effort  into  doing  something  for  her  than  he  had  for  them?  what  would  her  partners  think  if  he  had  outshone  the  mediocre  effort  they  had  ever  put  in  for  her?  they  were  circling  around  each  other  like  uncertain  sharks.  but  this  year,  things  were  different.  this  year,  neither  of  them  were  tied  down.  neither  of  them  had  obligations.  the  moment  he  realized  that  they  were  both  going  to  end  up  alone  on  valentine’s  day,  brady  knew  he  had  to  take  his  chance.  next  year  it  might  be  different.  after  all,  it  was  only  going  to  be  a  matter  of  time  before  indie  picked  up  someone  new,  before  he  was  yet  again  tossed  aside  for  a  shiny  new  toy.  

it  wasn’t  all  a  selfish  game  of  make-believe,  though.  that,  really,  was  only  a  small  part  of  it.  for  years,  he  had  watched  as  indie  spent  valentine’s  day  getting  less  than  what  she  deserved.  every  day  deserved  to  be  special,  but  there  was  inherent  expectations  that  came  with  february  fourteenth─  and  even  despite  the  obviousness  of  it,  indie  constantly  came  up  empty.  he  wanted  to  do  something  nice  for  her.  he  wanted  to  make  her  smile,  to  make  her  feel,  even  briefly,  special.  he  tried  to  convince  gina  that  it  was  just  a  friend  trying  to  look  out  for  another  friend  that  had  a  rough  year  romantically,  but  they  both  knew  what  it  really  was─  brady  was  madly  in  love  with  her,  and  yet  again  looking  for  a  way  to  set  himself  on  fire  to  keep  indigo  rodriguez  warm.  “  you  know,  everybody  always  says  that  paris  is  supposed  to  be  the  most  romantic  city  in  the  world,  but  think  about  how  god-damn  cold  it  is  there  right  now.  “  he  dropped  down  onto  the  comfortable  hotel  bed  beside  her,  accidentally  spilling  some  of  his  wine  on  himself.  he  frowned  at  the  droplet  as  it  rolled  off  his  hand  and  pulled  it  up  towards  his  mouth,  and  at  the  same  time,  he  held  her  glass  out  towards  her.  “  and  busy!  like  i’ve  been  to  paris  at  least  three  times,  and  it’s  the  most  over-rated  place  to  go,  i  think.  all  the  snooty  french  people─  ‘  non,  non,  je  ne  parle  pas  anglais.  je  suis  français  et  je  suis  meilleur  que  vous  les  américains.  “  the  accent  was  overdone,  but  it  was  an  attempt  to  make  her  laugh─  he  eyed  her  curiously  to  see  if  the  joke  landed.  “  and  italy  has  better  pasta,  in  my  opinion.  “  /  INDIE  (  @overwhlcmed​  )​

[apcthetics]

*˖ ⊹       SALTY  AIR  ROLLED  IN  over  the  suburbs  of  staten  island  from  new  york  bay,  bringing  with  it  the  beginnings  of  summer.  brady’s  childhood  street,  usually  quiet,  was  bustling  with  activity.  cars  lined  up  and  down  the  road  as  his  relatively  large  family  gathered  in  his  parent’s  backyard.  it  was  loud,  buzzing  with  voices  of  people  that  brady  knew  and  those  friend-of-a-friend-of-a-neighbour’s  who  always  ended  up  there  because  they  were  in  town  and  his  parents,  in  their  retirement,  loved  to  host.  it  was  one  of  the  few  times  per  year  that  he  saw  his  extended  family  :  aunts  and  uncles  ;  family  friends  ;  his  grandpa’s  weird  older  brother  who  had  to  be  about  104  by  then  ;  and,  yes,  the  woman  who  had  most  recently  torn  his  heart  out  of  his  ribcage  and  threw  it  out  onto  the  road  to  be  crushed.  brady  was  almost  convinced  his  parents  would  faster  cut  him  off  the  guest  list  then  even  considered  not  inviting  indie. 

     but,  after  everything,  they  had  come  to  terms  in  an  unspoken,  uneasy  alliance.  their  friendship  was  dangling  by  a  thread,  but  at  the  very  least,  that  cord  hadn’t  yet  been  severed.  he  was  working  over  time  to  get  back  in  her  good  graces  ;  he  felt  pathetic,  practically  begging  her  to  forgive  him,  but  he  would  rather  feel  pathetic  than  deal  with  the  aching  emptiness  that  he  felt  in  the  wake  of  venice  and  everything  thereafter.  brady  was  doing  his  best  to  adjust  to  what  their  new  normal  looked  like,  but  he  hated  feeling  how  much  distance  now  spanned  between  them.  it  made  it  hard  to  deal  with  the  closed-doors, whipered  questions  from  his  family  about  whether  or  not  they  were  finally  together.

      sneaking  up  behind  indie,  he  pressed  the  barrel  of  a  transparent  green  water  gun  against  her  spine,  directly  between  her  shoulder  blades. “  checkmate  !  “  he  declared  (  although  he  hadn’t  had  the  chance  to  stop  and  talk  since  she  arrived,  brady  had  started  a  war,  taking  every  opportunity  to  get  her  attention  by  aiming  the  water  in  her  direction.  he  hadn’t  dared  get  close  enough  to  find  out  what  the  consequences  for  this  would  be. )  waving  off  his  sister  as  she  took  her  cue  to  leave─  ensuring  to  spray  the  water  after  her  as  she  walked  away─  he  dropped  down  into  the  pool  chair  she  was  just  sitting  in.  reaching  up,  he  knocked  his  sunglasses  down  his  forehead,  until  they  were  just  perched  on  his  nose.   he  peeked  over  them  to  scan  the  backyard  before  he  used  one  finger  to  push  them  up.  “  has  elena  introduced  you  to  her  boyfriend  yet  ?  “  he  questioned,  jerking  his  chin  towards  his  niece  and  the  young  man  sat  beside  her,  both  getting  interrogated  by  other  members  of  his  family.  “  she  doesn’t  seem  old  enough  to  have  one,  but  i  guess  she’s  the  same  age  that  leah  was  when  she  had  her,  so.  maybe  we’re  just  old  now.  “  stretching  out  his  legs,  he  mindlessly  twisted  the  small,  plastic  gun  around  his  thumb.  “  either  way,  she  said  she  didn’t  want  to  invite  him  because  we’re  embarrassing,  but  leah  made  her.  isn’t  that  crazy,  didi  ?!  “  he  blew  a  piece  of  damp  hair  away  from  his  forehead.  “  embarrassing  ?!  pfft. “  /  INDIE  (  @overwhlcmed​​  )

[apcthetics]

*˖ ⊹       for  the  past  month,  brady  had  been  harbouring  a  bitter  feeling  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach.  venice  had  been  incredible.  it  felt  like  looking  right  through  a  window  into  the  life  that  brady  had  been  begging  the  universe  for  for  the  last  seven  years.  but  almost  as  soon  as  they  had  touched  down  in  new  york  things  had  started  going  sour.  brady  had  wished  so  strongly  that  they  had  their  moment;  that  italy  wasn’t  just  some  once-off  hookup,  and  that  they  could  carry  the  comfortable  energy  they  settled  into  back  across  the  ocean  until  it  felt  like  that  was  the  way  things  had  always  been.  he  knew  he  was  being  naive  and  optimistic.  he  knew  he  was  going  to  break  his  own  heart.  but  ever  the  romantic,  brady  still  hoped.  he  counted  on  his  belief  in  true  love  and  soulmates  to  manifest  their  success.  and  then  they  were  sitting  at  home  and  indie  had  started  kissing  him  again,  hands  wandering  across  his  chest,  slipping  under  his  shirt,  and  it  had  felt  like  the  little  crack  that  had  started  in  his  heart  was  completely  torn  open.  his  illusions  were  shattered.  his  hopes  went  with  them.  venice  hadn’t  been  real.  the  chemistry  that  he  had  felt─  the  nights  he  had  laid  wrapped  around  her  with  faith  that  this  could  be  their  new  normal─  had  simply  been  his  own  projections.  indie  didn’t  want  his  soft  romance.  as  he  had  feared,  he  was  nothing  but  a  body  to  keep  her  company,  to  feed  her  ego.  even  though  it  should  have  been  expected,  the  shock  was  like  someone  had  poured  cold  water  over  his  head.

he  knew  pushing  her  away  would  hurt  her  feelings,  but  he  hadn’t  expected  ‘  maybe  we  can  just  watch  the  movie  ?  ‘   to  turn  her  caustic.  the  tension  in  their  air  between  them  was  palpable,  yet  brady  knew  had  to  keep  himself  safe,  and  he  had  to  protect  her.  he  didn’t  want  their  friendship  tainted  by  his  own  bitterness  when  she  pushed  him  aside  for  someone  new.  and  then  she  showed  up  that  night,  all  sheer  black  lace  and  skin  that  he  could  still  vividly  remember  running  his  fingers  over,  and  brady  felt  his  own  desperation  bubble  up  in  his  throat  again.  it  wasn’t  fair.  brady  didn’t  want  to  be  used.  their  friendship  was  worth  more  than  that.  but  he  wasn’t  thinking  straight,  his  mind  a  mixture  of  alcohol  and  drugs  and  adrenaline  from  the  party  happening  around  them,  so  when  amari  and  andre  weren’t  watching  he  let  his  feet  carry  him  to  where  she  was.  brushing  his  hand  up  her  back,  he  draped  his  arm  over  her  shoulders.  his  free  arm  rested  against  the  bar  in  front  of  them.  his  head  cocked  to  the  side,  falling  over  his  shoulder  as  he  batted  his  eyelashes  towards  her  playfully.  “  i  know  you’re  mad  at  me  right  now...  “  he  started,  raising  his  free  hand  up  to  gingerly  snag  the  glasses  she  was  wearing  off  her  face  and  put  them  on  his  own.  then  he  held  up  a  finger.  “  ...but  it  would  be  such  a  shame  if  we  wasted  this  whole  party  and  you  didn’t  even  give  me  one  dance.  “  /  INDIE  (  @overwhlcmed​​  )

[apcthetics]

closed starter for INDIE ( @overwhlcmed​ ) location: indie’s ??? apartment??? making the assumption she went home with either devon or bianca sad as fuck thanks.

˖ ✧ ★ ────────────   SNEAKING OUT OF APARTMENTS IN THE EARLY MORNING WASN’T SOMETHING THAT BRADY WAS PARTICULARLY WELL-VERSED IN. he was far more polite than that ; being a romantic at heart, he didn’t like to kiss and run. but the apartment he had found himself in didn’t belong to just the woman whom he had accompanied there, and the tension that had settled over the space and her disinterest  in keeping him around indicated that he probably wasn’t welcome to make himself at home. that didn’t bother him much. it wasn’t like he had anticipated some great love story out of a one-night stand. besides, his only great love story had probably gone home with someone else, anyway. at least that’s what he told himself when he arrived at indie’s apartment and realized that it was empty as he cracked open the door. 

         he was still riding off the high of being wanted by someone─ someone who had no idea who he was, and therefore no expectations of him─ so the silence of the apartment didn’t bother him any more than it did on a normal day. she’d be home eventually, he reasoned with himself. she didn’t like being around clementine. and he hadn’t done anything to invoke her wraith upon him, so he thought, so the lack of text messages didn’t clue him in. and sure enough, midway through raiding indie’s fridge he heard the click of her keys in the lock. it wasn’t unusual to find him there, but he still figured he would announce his presence to her, lest he startle her. stepping out from her kitchen, he rested his shoulder against the doorframe, bringing his hand up in a little wave before he pointed over his shoulder. “ you weren’t home, so i just went ahead and thought i’d throw something together for when you got home─ “ it was clear that brady was in a good mood from the way that he automatically reached for her. “ can you believe that amari actually took bowie home ? all the way to staten fucking island ? i ran into her this morning when she was just getting home. i’m amazed, honestly. like i know how great he is, and you know how great he is, but like, i feel like he’s finally growing up after the whole lina thing─. . . “ he paused. there was a shift in his expression as it seemed to click that indie’s mood wasn’t as enthusiastic as his own. “ is everything okay ? “ 

[apcthetics]

*     they whisper in the hallway “she’s a bad, bad girl” :: brady & indie ( @overwhlcmed )

001. miss americana & the heartbreak prince — taylor swift

it's you and me, there's nothing like this. miss americana and the heartbreak prince ( okay! ) we're so sad, we paint the town blue. voted most likely to run away with you. and i don't want you to ( go ). i don't really wanna ( fight ) 'cause nobody's gonna ( win ). i think you should come home

002. thelma & louise — bastille

skipping town, down to mexico. lipstick on, in the thunderbird let's roll. drive right off of the world. leave your job and your gaslight man, modern life was a big let-down. we're bored, felt like a brick in the wall. days like these, you wanna get away. close our eyes, pretend we're miles away. hear the sound of my heart exploding. can you hear the sound of my heart exploding?

003. afterglow — the driver’s era

yeah, the water's cold ( yeah, the water's cold, mm ), but her body's warm ( but her body's warm ), but see, i told her no ( see, i told her no ). but she's been here before ( she took off her clothes ). and as we're dancing on the beach ( dancing on the beach ). i'm wondering if you could be the one spending all my days, we pretend these stupid things ( pretend these stupid things ) 'cause we just want to feel love and leave but our high is bound to fade.

004. meet me in the hallway — harry styles

i just left your bedroom, give me some morphine. is there any more to do? just let me know i'll be at the door, at the door. hoping you'll come around just let me know i'll be on the floor, on the floor. maybe we'll work it out

005. heart out — the 1975

you got something to say? why don't you speak it out loud, instead of living in your head? it's always the same. why don't you take your heart out, instead of living in your head?

006. text me in the morning — neon trees

so text me in the morning, tell me you still love me. i don't believe a single word. you tell me you're tipsy; i tell you you're pretty. we could spend the night if you're still sure. but text me in the morning. 

007. invisible string — taylor swift

a string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar. something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire. chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. one single thread of gold tied me to you.

[apcthetics]

closed starter for INDIE ( @overwhlcmed​ ) location: indie’s apartment. the duality of man.

◦ 「 ☆ 」 ────────────   FIGHT, RINSE, REPEAT. these kinds of moments were starting to feel all too familiar nowadays, and brady didn’t like it. over and over, brady and indie would lock themselves in some kind of death match. indie would grow tired of his childishness and he would be frustrated with her projections, and one of them would storm out and leave the whole thing without closure. the regret would settle in shortly after. no matter what the fight was about, the things that were said would play on repeat in his mind, and he would find fault in his own words, and the accusations she threw at him. as easy as it would be to pin all of the blame onto indie, act as though he was simply a victim of her short fuse and irritable temperament, brady knew that wasn’t true. he had his own issues : he had so many expectations of what they could be, that he often forgot they weren’t there. indie didn’t belong to him. she didn’t owe him anything. he had no control over the choices she made ─ they weren’t kids anymore, and he couldn’t keep trying to protect her from herself, no matter how badly he wanted too.

          these were all things that he knew. he just always managed to forget them when she made him angry. when all of his unreciprocated, unhealthy feelings bubbled up to the surface, often drawn out by the way she touched him, held him, got close to him ─ it was hard to think through the situation logically when the metaphorical high he received from an ounce of her attention was severed so quickly. dragging his feet home with amari ( after drinking more than he probably should have ) was enough time to reconsider. it was enough time to formulate an apology, to wonder, yet again, if perhaps now was the time to move on. if finally he should be trying to let go of the little bit of hope he still held for the two of them and settle elsewhere. severe the connection and once again be comfortable with just being friends. food for thought that still swam in the back of his thoughts in the morning.

           he would always be the first to apologize. he was stubborn, but indigo rodriguez was a whole different breed. brady’s ego had stopped caring about that a long time ago. using the spare key he kept on his key chain to unlock the door to her apartment, he treaded carefully into the familiar space. he discarded his keys on the table in the same fashion he always did, kicking aside his sneakers in the same way he did at home. it was probably telling that brady didn’t question whether or not indie was with clementine, or if the small strawberry blonde would have issues with him being in the apartment at all, but he had returned to the safe, devilish reality that promised him they were the only two people in the world. he did one quick check in the kitchen ─ albeit brady knew she wasn’t in there ─ before he gently nudged open the door to indie’s bedroom with his foot.

     “ hey. “ his voice was softer than normal. usually, brady wouldn’t have thought twice before dropping the coffee he was holding on the table pressed snugly against her bed. he would’ve pulled back the blankets she was under and joined her there, using his cold hands as an excuse to touch her, laughing at the slew of spanish words she’d hurl towards him in response. but the air had yet to be cleared enough for that. instead, he leaned against the doorframe ; he didn’t want to invite himself into her space without her permission. but he did extend his arm out, dangling the takeout mug of coffee from his fingertips out towards her. “ i brought you an apology coffee from that cuban cafe down the street you like. . . and an actual apology, if you’ll hear me out. “ 

[apcthetics]

closed starter for INDIE ( @overwhlcmed​ ) location: im not describing the location for every one of the party threads but i am keeping my format.

◦ 「 ☆ 」 ────────────   FOR THE LONGEST time, parties had been the last thing brady had wanted to waste his time on. growing up, the only reason he ever attended them was because of nancy  —  a glorified babysitter under the guise of designated driver, he tended to steer clear of anything he was invited to by his own classmates. safety was in the quiet of his empty childhood home, or his dorm room. but for his ‘ new ‘ personality  —  the risk taker he was trying to be, and the person that people saw on screen  — it was almost a must. once he started travelling, getting to know people, he realized they didn’t like it when he said ‘ no. ‘ they pressed until he gave in, so he stopped putting up a fight. when his life started to spiral upwards, the partying and the socializing just became part of the job. it wasn’t easy ; as much as he seemed to thrive within the chaos, in the beginning his energy would deplete the instant he stepped inside a crowded space. but he found ways around that  —  tiny baggies of pills or bottles of dark, bitter liquid that seemed to ease the anxiety and help him step into the role he thought he needed to play. and indie. but indie helped with everything.

     smaller house parties mostly full of people he knew were less stressful, however, and luckily enough the crutches he usually relied on weren’t at the forefront of his mind tonight. growing bored of watching amari practically drool over bowie for thirty minutes, the always-restless brady politely excused himself from the conversation. he easily squeezed through the crowd that had accumulated in the small brooklyn apartment until he found his best friend. making eye contact with her from across the room, he grinned ; brady pulled one of the toy blasters from his makeshift belt holster and spun it around his finger before pointing it towards her with a playfully muttered ‘ pew pew ! ‘ ( had he been practicing since he picked up the silly little toy blasters that morning ? . . . he had no comment. ) clearly pleased with the display, he approached her. “ y’know, i really wish i had gone for something with a cooler cape. “ discarding the blaster and his drink on the counter and forgetting about them immediately, his hands came up to tug on the hood of her costume. he leaned down a bit so he could meet her eyes under it, the slight quirk of his lips indicating the seriousness of his comment. “ of course, the whole thing is very eye catching, didi. best costume in the house. ” he gestured to himself as reference. “ but i think the cape is really what does it. “