#*rmpg | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jjeongddol · 5 months ago

Text

Lean on me.

Now playing : cold love - THE8

𖹭

Kazuma x Reader.

an unsettling break up, some words of promises & time alignments. will they work out eventually?

- “Ichima,” you began softly, the nickname slipping from your lips as naturally as breathing. “We agreed on being each other’s support, didn’t we? I told you to lean on me too. Why didn’t you?”

a/n : for the non-raver readers, i would hope for you to read this fic & share your thoughts with me <3 the character can be replaced by jeonghan or mingyu. they are the ones who i think fit into this role nore than the others do. but feel free to replace the mc with your bias!

The café you both loved was quieter than usual that evening. It was your safe haven, a corner booth tucked away from the world, where laughter once bubbled over shared pastries and conversations stretched long into the night. Tonight, the air was different—heavy, laden with unspoken words that neither of you wanted to voice. The rain outside mirrored your emotions, falling steadily, soft yet relentless.

Kazuma sat across from you, his hands clasped tightly around the mug of coffee that had long gone cold. He hadn't touched it, nor had he touched the slice of cake you’d brought for him, his favorite. Instead, his gaze had been fixed on the table for the better part of the hour, the usual warmth in his brown eyes replaced by something distant.

You felt it before he said it. The way his shoulders slumped just a little more than usual, the way he avoided meeting your eyes, the way his fingers fidgeted with the handle of the mug as if searching for the right words. And then, with a deep breath, he broke the silence.

“I’m sorry,” he began, his voice low and tinged with a sadness that pierced through you. “I’m sorry for leading you on.”

Your heart sank. The words hit you like a cold wave, knocking the air from your lungs. You blinked at him, trying to make sense of what he’d just said, hoping—praying—that you’d misheard. But the look on his face told you otherwise.

“I thought…” He paused, running a hand through his hair, his fingers trembling slightly. “I thought I was ready. I thought I could be the person you deserved. But the truth is… I’m not there yet. And I don’t want to waste your time pretending I am.”

You stared at him, your hands gripping the edge of the table as if it could ground you amidst the chaos swirling in your chest. “What are you saying, Kazuma?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, shaking as much as your hands were.

“I believe in dating to marry,” he said, his voice steady despite the storm raging in his eyes. “You know that. But right now… it doesn’t seem like that’s where this is headed. And it’s not because of you, I swear. You’re… incredible. But I’m not the man you need me to be.”

The words stung. They felt like a rejection of everything you were, everything you’d built together. You wanted to scream, to cry, to demand an explanation that made sense of this senseless ending. But all you could do was laugh. A soft, disbelieving laugh that escaped before you could stop it, echoing hollowly in the quiet café.

“Sorry,” you said quickly, brushing at the stray tear that slipped down your cheek. Throwing you head back in hopes of keeping your tears at bay. “Just… give me a minute.”

Kazuma watched you, the way you arms instinctively wrapped across your torso, how you're forcing a smile out of your pain. His expression pained, as if each tear that fell was carving into his soul. “If the timing were different… If I were different…” His voice cracked slightly, and he cleared his throat. “Maybe if the stars align and we’re meant to be in this together, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Hearing the ache in his voice only tugged at your heartstrings even more. Squeezing your eyes shut and your lips clamped as a way to keep your sob in. After you've composed yourself a little, you braved yourself to meet his eyes. The determination in his eyes only confused you further. How could someone so sure of the connection you shared still let you go? It felt cruel, like he was dangling the possibility of a future you didn’t know you could believe in.

Once his words has fully processed in your mind, you straightened your shoulders, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “If this is the end of us,” you began, your voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill again, “I’d like to thank you… for all the good memories.”

Kazuma’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he looked away, blinking rapidly. “You don’t have to—”

“No, I want to,” you interrupted gently. “Because even if this hurts—God, it hurts, so badly—I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You… you made me feel so loved, so seen. And I’ll always be grateful for that.”

The silence that followed was deafening, filled with words left unsaid, with emotions too raw to voice. Kazuma finally reached across the table, his hand hovering over yours for a moment before he took it, his grip firm yet tender.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, his voice breaking. “You deserve so much more than this.”

You nodded, unable to speak, afraid that if you did, the dam holding back your emotions would shatter completely. Instead, you squeezed his hand one last time before pulling away, the warmth of his touch lingering like a ghost.

As you walked out of the café into the rain, you couldn’t help but look back one last time. Kazuma was still sitting there, his head bowed, his shoulders shaking ever so slightly. It was the image of a man torn between what he wanted and what he thought was right.

⭑.ᐟ

The rain poured relentlessly, drenching every inch of you, but it felt fitting. It masked your tears, blending them seamlessly with the drops cascading down your cheeks, as if the world were crying with you. The soft patter of rain against the pavement was the only sound accompanying the ache in your chest. You wandered aimlessly, no destination in mind, just letting your feet carry you wherever they pleased.

But the weight of it all finally caught up to you, and a sharp, painful sob escaped your lips. It was loud, uncontrolled, raw, and it echoed through the rain-soaked streets. You covered your mouth with trembling hands, as though you could take it back, but the dam had broken, and the tears fell harder, mingling with the rain.

And then you felt it—a heavy warmth draped over your shoulders. A jacket, still slightly warm from his body. The very person who had just shattered your heart had followed you into the storm. You didn’t need to turn to know it was Kazuma. His presence, his scent, the way his touch somehow made the ache sharper yet softer—it was all unmistakable.

You tried to turn toward him, but his hands gripped your shoulders, keeping you facing forward. His hold was tight, almost desperate, as if letting go of you now would break him entirely. “Stay,” he whispered, his voice trembling, broken. “Stay for a minute. Please.”

You froze at the sound of his voice, hoarse and thick with emotion, and you realized—he’d been crying too. The way his breaths hitched and trembled against your back confirmed it. Slowly, he rested his forehead against the curve of your neck, his tears warm against your already soaked skin.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out, his voice cracking under the weight of his guilt. “I’m so sorry for hurting you. For doing this to you. I never wanted—” His words faltered, drowned out by the rain and his own sobs. You felt his chest heaving against you, each breath heavy with regret.

You didn’t move, couldn’t move, as his words sank deep into your heart. It was as though every tear he shed, every tremor in his voice, wrapped around the wound he’d caused, offering solace and breaking you all over again. “I just… I need time,” he continued, his arms tightening around you. “Give me some time, and I’ll find my way back to you. I promise. I swear, I’ll come back to you.”

His words hung in the air, a fragile hope that felt as beautiful as it was cruel. You didn’t know if you could believe it—if you should believe it. But the way his arms held you, the way his tears soaked into your skin, made it impossible to ignore the sincerity in his voice.

A part of you wanted to scream, to demand why he was doing this if he cared so much. Why he’d let you go if he wasn’t ready to lose you. But all you could do was lift your hands and grip his arms tightly, holding him as if grounding yourself in his presence. Your body shook with silent sobs as you whispered, “Why does it have to be like this?”

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he buried his face further into your neck, his breaths uneven. “Because I’m scared,” he admitted finally, his voice barely audible. “I’m scared I’ll fail you. That I’ll hold you back. I want to be better for you, but right now… I’m not. And you deserve better than this half-version of me.”

You turned in his arms then, ignoring his earlier grip, and looked up at him. "You don't get to decide what I deserve and what I do not, Zuma," His eyes were red, his face soaked from rain and tears, and yet, there was a determination in them that made your heart ache even more. You continued as you cupped his face, "you know that I would never allow myself to be treated less than what I truly deserve." He looked at you as though you were the most important thing in the world, and the weight of that gaze made it so much harder to let go.

“But don’t let me stop you,” he continued, his voice cracking again. “If you find someone who can give you everything you deserve, don’t hold yourself back because of me. Do what your heart tells you to.”

His words felt like both a plea and a warning, and you hated them for it. You hated how selfless he was trying to be, even in the midst of your shared heartbreak. You hated how he was giving you permission to move on when every fiber of your being screamed that you didn’t want anyone but him.

Your hands trembled as they gripped the front of his soaked shirt, and you leaned your forehead against his chest. “You’re so stupid,” you whispered, the words barely audible over the rain. “I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want anything else but you.”

Kazuma’s breath hitched again, and his arms enveloped you completely, pulling you closer than ever before. He didn’t say anything, but the way he held you spoke volumes—of his love, his pain, his regret.

The rain continued to fall around you, the world fading into the background as you clung to each other. You didn’t know how this would end, or if the fragile promise of finding each other again would ever come true. But for that moment, in the midst of the storm, you let yourselves feel everything. The love, the heartbreak, the hope, the fear—it was all there, raw and unfiltered, as the rain washed away everything else.

⭑.ᐟ

A few days after that rainy night, you found yourself scrolling through your phone during an aimless afternoon. The world felt quieter, emptier, like the echo of your breakup had bled into every part of your life. But then, your breath caught as you saw the announcement on The Rampage’s official page:

“Kazuma Kawamura will be taking a short hiatus due to health reasons. We ask for your understanding and continued support during this time.”

Your heart clenched. You read the post again and again, hoping you had misread it, but the words stayed the same. A wave of guilt crashed over you, and for a moment, you wondered if you were the reason. Had the breakup taken such a toll on him? Or was it something he’d been hiding all along, even from you?

You debated whether to reach out. Part of you wanted to call him immediately, to demand answers, to make sure he was okay. But the other part of you—the part still aching from his goodbye—hesitated. He had asked for time. Maybe this was what he meant. Maybe he needed space to sort through whatever he was dealing with.

Still, your fingers hovered over his contact name, the urge to check on him almost unbearable. You finally sent a short, simple text:

“I saw the announcement. I hope you’re taking care of yourself. If you need anything, I’m here.”

The message delivered, but no reply came. You didn’t expect one, but it still hurt.

⭑.ᐟ

Over the next few days, you noticed a shift in your interactions with the other members of The Rampage. You’d always been on good terms with them, having spent time together during your relationship with Kazuma. They were like an extended family, always teasing you and Kazuma, always rooting for your love story.

The first to reach out was Riku. He called you late one evening, his voice gentle but concerned.

“Hey, I just wanted to check on you,” he said. “I know things have been… complicated between you and Kazuma, but we’re all a little worried about him. He’s gone completely off the grid. Didn’t even tell us he was taking a break. We found out through management.”

Your chest tightened. “He didn’t say anything to you guys either?”

“No. And that’s not like him,” Riku admitted. “He usually leans on us when things get tough, but this time… it’s different. I thought maybe you’d know what’s going on.”

You hesitated, unsure of how much to say. “We… we ended things,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “He said he needed time to figure things out.”

Riku was silent for a moment, and you could almost hear the gears turning in his head. “That explains a lot,” he said softly. “But it doesn’t make it any easier to see him like this. He’s hurting, and I think you are too.”

You bit your lip, fighting back tears. “I don’t know what to do, Riku. I want to help him, but I don’t think he wants me to.”

“Maybe not right now,” Riku said gently. “But if you ever feel like you need to reach out, don’t hesitate. Sometimes, even if he doesn’t say it, he might need to know you’re still there.”

⭑.ᐟ

Days turned into weeks, and still, there was no word from Kazuma. You tried to keep yourself busy, throwing yourself into work and hobbies, but your thoughts always drifted back to him. You found yourself wondering how he was coping, if he was eating well, if he was finding peace in the solitude he’d chosen.

One day, you got an unexpected text from Takahide.

“Hey, just wanted you to know Kazuma’s staying with his family for now. They’re taking care of him, but he’s still pretty down. Don’t worry too much—he’ll bounce back. He always does.”

The message brought a small sense of relief. At least he wasn’t completely alone. But it didn’t ease the ache in your chest.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, you sat on your couch, staring at your phone. Your finger hovered over Kazuma’s contact name once again. You wanted to hear his voice, to know if he was okay.

After a long moment of hesitation, you finally sent another text:

“Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. I know you need time, and I’m trying to give you that. But I’m just a call away. Always.”

This time, there was a response.

“Thank you. I’m trying. I’ll reach out when I’m ready.”

The message was short, but it was enough. It wasn’t closure, but it was a thread of connection, a fragile hope that maybe, just maybe, the two of you could find your way back to each other when the time was right. Until then, you held on to the memories, the love you still carried in your heart, and the belief that some chapters didn’t have to end forever.

⭑.ᐟ

Kazuma stood outside the café, his heart racing as he spotted you through the window. It had been three long months since he went on a break, since he last saw you. And yet the sight of you felt like coming home. You were sitting at a corner table where you'd both usually dine, nursing a cup of tea, your gaze distant as if lost in thought.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself, before pushing the door open.

The familiar chime of the bell caught your attention, and when your eyes met his, everything seemed to freeze. There he was, the man you loved, standing before you like a vision from a dream. He looked a little thinner, his features more drawn, but his presence was still as magnetic as ever.

Kazuma hesitated, unsure of how to bridge the gap his absence had created. But when he saw the vulnerability in your eyes, the relief softening your expression, he found the courage to take a step forward.

"Could I join you?" he asked timidly, his voice almost hesitant.

You didn’t respond with words. Instead, you rose from your seat and closed the distance between you. Without a moment’s hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. The warmth of his embrace, the familiar scent of him, melted away the months of pain and uncertainty.

With a deep sigh, “I’m just glad you’re okay.” You whispered, your voice trembling.

Kazuma’s arms tightened around you, and you felt his chin rest gently on your shoulder. He held you as if afraid you might disappear, his hands trembling slightly as they pressed against your back.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “For everything. For leaving the way I did. For not explaining. For hurting you.”

You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “Things has probably been hard for you. But I just needed to know you were okay,” you said softly. “That’s all I wanted.”

Kazuma nodded, his gaze dropping for a moment before he took your hand and led you back to the table. The two of you sat across from each other, the air heavy with unspoken words.

⭑.ᐟ

For the next hour, Kazuma explained everything. The toll his work had taken on him, the physical and mental exhaustion he hadn’t recognized until it was too late. How he’d started feeling like a shadow of himself, losing sight of who he was and what mattered most.

“I thought I could handle it all,” he admitted, his voice strained. “But I was burning out, and I didn’t even realize it. I was scared… scared that I’d fall apart in front of you. I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

Your heart ached as you listened. “Ichima,” you began softly, the nickname slipping from your lips as naturally as breathing. “We agreed on being each other’s support, didn’t we? I told you to lean on me too. Why didn’t you?”

Kazuma looked down, guilt evident in his expression. “I thought I had to be strong for you. That I couldn’t let you see me weak.”

You reached across the table, taking his hand in yours. “But that’s the thing, Kazuma. I love all of you. Not just the strong parts. The messy, vulnerable parts too. You don’t have to protect me from that. I want to be there for you, the same way you’ve always been there for me.”

His grip on your hand tightened as he nodded. “I know that now. And I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.”

⭑.ᐟ

Over the next month, the two of you worked to rebuild what had been broken. Kazuma took the time to explain the boundaries he was setting for himself at work, promising to prioritize his health and well-being. You supported him every step of the way, reminding him that he didn’t have to carry the weight of the world alone.

There were difficult conversations, moments of doubt, and lingering pain, but there was also hope. The love you shared was still there, strong and unwavering, and it became the foundation for your healing.

By the time Kazuma was ready to return to work, he was a different man. Not because he’d changed completely, but because he’d learned to lean on you, to let you in, and to embrace the partnership you’d built together.

⭑.ᐟ

On his first day back, you walked with him to the door, your hands resting on his chest as you straightened his jacket. “You ready?” you asked, your voice soft but steady.

Kazuma nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Yeah. Thanks to you.”

You leaned up, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Just remember, no matter how crazy things get, you’ve got me. Always.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a lingering hug. “I don’t deserve you,” he murmured against your hair.

“You do,” you replied firmly. “And don’t you forget it.”

As he walked out the door, you felt a sense of pride and relief. The road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but you knew you’d face it together. After all, love wasn’t about avoiding the storms—it was about weathering them side by side.

#kazuma kawamura x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #kim mingyu x reader #rmpg fics #svt fics #breakup #heavy angst #reconciliation #established relationship #kazuma kawamura #the rampage x reader #the rampage from exile tribe #theyre both in so much pain 😭#jeonghan angst #jjeongdol fics

14 notes · View notes