#*sadly shakes cup with 2 pennies in it*

[torracat]

that money garf post has kept the lights on on this blog for 5 long, slutty years

[followyoursecretsmutblog]

tease.

Imagine:

You aren’t one to lose your cool, but this was the last straw. August promised to be home at 8, 8:30 at the latest. It is now 11:47, and you are livid. Not a call about being late, not even a text. Nothing from the man who said you were his everything. 

Typical men. Knows just what to say, and leaves you waiting.

With a huff, you start working on burning out the candles and getting containers for the food. No sense in wasting your efforts.

After the first plate is packaged and set in the fridge, you reach for the second, hearing the front door open.

“Babe, I’m home!” August calls out. “It was a hell-of-a-day. I need you, now.”

You don’t answer, just continuing to put things away. 

“Babe, did you hear me?” He asks as he walks into the kitchen. “ Oh, you made dinner?“ The confusion in his voice thick.

“It’s fine. Totally. Not like I spent all day cooking a nice meal for us. I didn’t buy new lingerie for tonight for you anyway. I also didn’t drop a pretty penny for your favorite drink.” The anger you feel causing you to shake. “Not like I sat here for nearly 4 hours after you said you would be here, waiting for you to come home, like an idiot!” 

“I didn’t think-”

“That’s the thing August! You didn’t think! You never think about me; do you even remember what today is? Why I made sure you would be home on time?” You ask, voice raising.

I need to calm down. Getting worked up will help nothing. It will only get him mad.

“I’m sorry. Something happened at the office, and I wasn’t able to get away. I lost track of time.” He explains as you continue packing. 

Shoving the last of the food in the fridge, you shut the door and walk past him, gathering your coat and purse. 

“I’m staying at my place tonight. Happy Anniversary, August.”

~~

You sit in your apartment, a glass of wine in one hand and your phone in the other, watching it ring for the fifth time.

August

“If he couldn’t think about me, why am I thinking about him?” You ask your empty glass. “You’re right, we need more wine.” You stand up, placing your phone on the couch as you walk into the kitchen.

You grab the bottle when there is a knock on the door. “Baby? Open the door please.”

“I’m not even tipsy enough for this to be a good idea.” You call back, placing the bottle on your lips and tipping it back, chugging a heathy amount.

“I know you are mad, but you ignoring me and not opening your door is starting to piss me off. And we don’t want that do we?” His voice drops into a warning, causing your panties to dampen. 

“3...” Your eyes widen as you choke on the wine. “2...” Setting the bottle down, you rush to the door. “1 1/2...” You stand there, hand on the lock, waiting. “I know you are there Princess, I can hear you breathing.”

“I’m mad at you.” You say weakly, fingers playing with the lock.

“I know, but let me in so we can talk about it. After I punish you.” His voice is like velvet, so soft and smooth. “You don’t get to walk out on me and think you won’t be.”

“If I open this door, I want the control.” Your voice comes out stronger then you thought, startling you and him. You hear him make a noise on the other side of the door. “Yeah, I’m the one that should be in control, I worked my ass off for you and you didn’t even have the decency to let me know you were going to be late.”

Silence. That is all that can be heard from the other side of the door.

Is he still there? Did he walk away? Did I push him too far? Is he going to leave me?

“Fine.”

“Wh-what?”

“Yes. If you open the door, I will give you control for the night.” You unlock the door, slowly opening it. August stands there, arms on either side of the door. “But just know, after you have your fun, I will have mine.”

“So, I’m in charge?”

“For now.”

“For how long?”

“Until I come.”

A smile grows on your face, like a child in a candy shop.

“My room, naked, and on my bed when I come in.” You say, watching as his eyebrow twitches and his jaw clenches.

“Yes ma’am.” He says as he walks past you. A giggle escapes you, watching him go.

You wait a minute, listening to him undress. After a few moments, you go to your purse, pulling a box from it.

As you walk to your door, you hear the rustle of fabric, the thuds of boots dropping and the sound of his belt. You stand in the doorway, watching this beautiful man undress because you told him too.

Watching as the low light makes him look like a God. He turns slightly, running his fingers through his hair. Your eyes move lower, licking up every inch of him.

“And here I thought I was going to have to work to get you hard.” You say, your eyes not leaving the object in question as you walk toward him.

“Heh, you may be in charge for right now. But the idea of your sweet pussy wrapped around me makes me like this.” He says, wrapping a hand around himself, giving a few tugs.

“Stop.” His hand freezes, his eyes blaze. “Lay down on the bed.” He moves back, eyes watching you.

He gets settled, his large body making your bed seem small. 

“Rules. First, no touching yourself or me.” You say as you climb in between his legs. “Second, you will take what I give you.” A smirk on your lips, “And, third, I want to hear you beg.”

“I don’t beg.”

“You will learn.” You lean down, placing a kiss on his stomach, obviously avoiding his very red cock.

His abdomen flexes under your lips, his hips lifting off the bed slightly. You lean over him, your chest and stomach dragging against his cock.

“Now baby, I understand that this is hard for you. Literally. And I want you to know I appreciate you letting me do this.” August just lets out a grunt, watching you with dangerous eyes. “But, I’m going to have a lot of fun.” 

You place another kiss on his lips, your hands sliding up and down his torso, digging your nails into him. 

You leave a trail of kisses from his mouth to the base of his cock. 

“Look at your cock, so big and red, just waiting to be sucked.” You say, licking a thick stripe on the underside of his cock, feeling him throb against your tongue, feeling that vein against you, making your pussy wet.

August curses, flexing his hips to get more friction. Once he feels his tip is at your lips, he tries to push in, but you pull away, nipping him right under the head. “You did this to yourself, you don’t think of me all day, so now you will think of me all night.” You lick up his pre-come. “And tomorrow.” You wrap your had around his shaft, stroking him slowly, adding pressure every few strokes, watching his eyes, roll to the back of his head slightly.

“I want you to beg for me to let you come.” You whisper against his thigh, sucking and biting the sensitive skin. “I bet you look so pretty when you do. Begging to get off. Having to ask for something instead of taking it.”

“Fuck.” He groans out. “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to sit for a month.” He growls. “That pretty little mouth of yours better get to work, Princess.” 

“Promise?” You look at him through you lashes, false innocence in your voice. His blue eyes darken, his jaw set as you wrap your lips around his head, sucking ever so gently, your hand still working him.

August thrusts his head back, mumbling about needing something. Your mouth lets go of him with a pop, “What was that?” You ask, removing you hand from his cock to cup around you ear. “I couldn’t hear you.”

Hands in his hair, eyes wild, he asks, “Why did you stop?” The muscles in his neck tighten.

“I got you something, I think now would be a good time to show you.” You pull the box from where you set it on the bed, slowly opening it.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you pull it out, showing August your purchase.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“I seem to recall you saying I was in charge. So, yes, it stays.”

“You are not putting a cock ring on me. So help me, God.”

“So help you.” You reply, placing the ring at the tip of his cock, ever so slowly rolling it down. His eye roll back as his hips twitch. “If you thought I’d get you off quickly, then you are sadly mistaken. I will have you all night long, begging for me to let you come.” The ring ends at his hilt, his cock redder and more swollen than ever before, pre-come dripping from his tip.

Using one of your fingers, you swipe up some of it, placing it in your mouth. “Mmm, so good.” You wrap your hand around him again, his silky skin burning hot. “You don’t get to come until I am satisfied.” Lowering yourself so your mouth is right on his cock, “And I’m insatiable for you.”

Explicates spill from his mouth as he watches you take him, sucking him slowly.

It’s going to be a long night.

[leah-halliwell92]

Doesn’t Really Matter

Summary: Taylor Mae Miller has been friends with Adam since they were in high school and a musician in he own right and has known Queen for just about the same time he’s been touring with them. Their bond strong and growing ever stronger, Mae decides to move across the pond not only to be closer to her new found friends but to get away from her volatile and toxic relationship thrust on her by her mother. Will her new found family be enough to reassure her that she is loved?

Chapter 2

“Are you joking?” Roger asked incredulously.

Adam couldn’t hold it anymore and broke into a fit of laughter.

Taylor gave the men a knowing look hand to her mouth to keep from laughing, and nodded. 

“Like I said,” she said trying to hold back her laughter, “My grandparents are hippies and music junkies!”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Roger asked still not getting it.

“It means they were going to name me something out of the cosmos or after one or more of their favorite singers or bands,” she said as she couldn’t hold bacon her laughing anymore.

Brian nodded in understanding before shaking his head with a warm laugh of his own.

“She was names after her grandmother’s favorites Roger,” Adam as he came to.

That’s when the penny fell and Roger’s eyes widened in realization.

“She named you after your favorites, huh,” he said boyish grin appearing on his face.

“And there’s the ego boost,” Brian says jokingly.

“Well I never,” Roger said faking outrage.

You all share a laugh and continue eating your food when Adam stands with a quiet ‘excuse me’ when his phone goes off.

“Why so glum Liz Taylor?” Mae asked noticing the serious look on Roger’s face.

“Your mother...”

“Is not here,” she says voice going hard, “And as Adam told me on the way here...she is not here to tell me what or who to do.”

“NO boys,” Brian and Roger said in unison causing the wives to laugh and Mae to shrug and then a chuckle when Brian added, “Or girls.”

“Still,” she said voice somber., “It isn’t like she’s a mum mum to me, she’s my mother she birthed but that is as far as the connection goes. She was all for my brothers but when it came to her only daughter she saw a bargaining chip.”

“Jesse and Jonah tried,” she said with a shrug, “Sometimes it would work and other times it would blow up in our faces.”

“Sounds like a traditionalist in the worst possible way,” Roger said as he tossed the now empty plates into the food bag to be disposed of later.

Taylor nodded and sighed.

Adam stepped back into the room an annoyed look on his face.

“Everything ok?” Taylor asked.

“Yea,” he said with a roll of his eyes making his sarcasm more than a little evident, “Manager needs me to go back to go over scheduling to make sure my tour and our tour don’t over lap.”

You nodded and rolled your eyes. Those schedules had been done for ages. And have been checked and double checked that everything was where it’s suppose to be.

“I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about,” Brian said with a grin.

“Same, but dude’s wanting to check makes me think that he thinks he did something wrong,” he said annoyed before going to Taylor and pulling her into a hug, “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

Taylor nodded and went to get the mattress when and incredulous Roger said, “Wait...she’s spending the nigh here? Alone?”

“I was going to come back after my meeting,” Adam said before he reached the front door.

“You know as well as we do that scheduling revision is going to take most if not all night,” Roger said knowingly, “She’ll be staying with me.”

“Um...you have a thing in London remember?” Sarina said withholding a laugh after sharing a look with Anita the younger woman knowing very well that Rog had a couple of errands to run in London.

“And I have to study for a play will be showing in two weeks,” Anita said gently.

“I can give you the keys to my place Mae,” Adam said about to take said keys out.

“And stay there alone?” Roger said not liking the sound of that one bit.

Taylor rolled her eyes and said, “I feel like a rope...”

Sarina and Anita laughed at that and nodded.

“Why not a hotel?” Taylor said with a shrug.

“You have a home here little Mae,” Roger said with approaching her, “Not one but a few if Brian and Anita have anything to say about it.”

“It’s settled then,” Brian said beamingly.

“What?” Roger said clearly confused.

“Mae will be staying with me,” Brian said trying to not look smug at the suggestion, “You and Adam will be busy in London, the girls will be preparing for their performances leaving me to my lonesome.”

Roger looked at Brian in disbelief. 

“My best mate just swindled me out of time with my namesake,” Roger said in disbelief.

“You forget thought Roger,” Mae said with a smirk, “I am Little Mae.”

“Hush you,” he said ruffling her hair causing her to laugh.

“I’ll put her stuff in your car then,” Adam said and left to do just that.

Taylor made her way to Brian who pulled her into a warm hug.

“You maybe Little Mae–” Roger began in a sure sign of that famous Taylor tempter.

“She’s got two daddies to take care of her,” Sarina cut in as she laughed at her husband’s antics, “Which means, she’s got family here.”

“More family than I ever thought I would,” Taylor said eyes glued to the ground.

Brian gave her a reassuring squeeze and said, “But family none the less.”

Taylor smiled at that and nodded. It was going take a bit to get used to being a a part of a stable family. But she was sure it was going to be a hell of a lot better than being on her own.

That settled, Adam said his goodbyes to everyone and left to kick his manager in the pants and see what the issues where with the schedule, Sarina left to get her bag from the trunk of their car and head to the airport to her own filming destination and Anita opted to take a cab to the theater to do her study.

“I will probably be back late but I will see you both in the morning,” Anita said bidding Taylor and Brian good bye with a hug and kiss.

“And you...” she said giving Roger a hug, “Behave.”

“I always behave!” He huffed indignantly.

Taylor and Brian laughed at that before Brian said, “Well since lunch is over and done with let’s go get you settled in.”

Taylor nodded and followed after the men.

“Before we head in why not go for tea?” Roger said a grin on his face.

“You really want to treat me to something don’t you,” Taylor asked rhetorically.

“Well...what is a mother supposed to do?” He said a cheeky grin.

Brian shook his head at them but offered Taylor his arm, ever the gentleman.

Together the trio took a stroll around the area until the found a quaint little tea shop walking distance away from her flat.

And as promised, Roger treated her to tea. The fact that Brian was there to also enjoy the fruits of his labor is another thing entirely.

“How are things with Jonah?” Brian asks as he serves the tea.

“Things with him have always been good,” Taylor said with a grin, “But better now that he mentioned settling down.”

“Oh?” 

“Yea, he applied to be honorably discharged. Said something about making an honest woman out of Clair once and for all,” Taylor laughed at that and said, “I think he’s finally going to propose!”

The men gave a quiet cheer at the news.

“About time too! Clair’s been waiting for him to propose since she met him his senior year in school,” Taylor said with a laugh remember the day her best friend met her oldest brother.

“And him?” Roger asked curiously.

“He needed time to grow and mature away from our mother. I think the army did that for him,” she said with a sigh and a gentle grin, “Jesse’s another story though...he’s always been my mother’s baby. The one to always kiss her ass when she decided something needed to go one way or another, the one to back her up when she decided I needed to follow what she said because and I quote, ‘I am your mother. I birthed you raised and am raising you so the least you could do is acknowledge the fact that I know what is best for you’.”

The men bristled at that as they pieced together more of the puzzle that is Taylor’s life and the people within it.

“And you're dad?” Roger asked carefully.

Taylor grinned sadly and said, “Dad passed away a little over two months ago.”

The men gapped at that.

“Pancreatic cancer,” she said as she played with the teacup that is on the table, “And before you say anything about not having told you earlier...I didn’t do it out of spite. I really didn't know how to say it, how to say he’s...he’s...”

Brian pulled her on his side as she breaks down.

“We cremated him as per his request, service is next week in my gran’s Irish home,” she said when she calmed down some. 

Roger sat in shock at the information and downed what was left in his cup no wishing it had something bit stronger in it.

“I think it’s time to take her home,” Brian said as he stood and helped her stand up as well.

Roger nodded and stood going to pay for their tea.

Brian walked her to the bathroom hall where she went to the laddie’s and make herself presentable. It wouldn’t do for the paparazzi to see her looking like they kicked her puppy.

Now looking more presentable, they trio made their way to the flat where they Roger left them with warm hugs and a kiss to Taylor’s forehead.

Brian helped her into the car and made his way into town making a bee line to Save Me.

“Wait here dear,” Brian said as he got out of the car and went into the facility.

Taylor waited brow furrowed in curiosity and confusion as to what the man could possibly be planning.

A little bit later Brian came back a satisfied smile on his face. 

“Tomorrow you and I are going to be busy,” he said as he drove out.

“Do I want to know?” She asked with a small smile.

“Nope,” he said with a grin, “You’ll just have to wait and find out.”

~//~

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Tag List:  @queenattheopera, @brianandthemays, @theborhapboysawakenedmywhatever, @ramibaby, @captain--americanna, @awkwardangelshezza, @avengerraven1023, @danamaleksworld, @pastywhiteperson, @readinghorn, @i-was-born-like-this, @redspecialstardust, @reedusteinrambles, @rogertaylorsfalsettogivesmehives, @readinghorn, @subbysharkbabe, @capan-devereaux, @bowieandqueen11, @bellamy1998, @reedusteinrambles, @mazzello-lee-jones-malek, @sincereleygmg, @bleu-jean-baby, @brian-mayonnaise, @0hour9am, @toomuchtellyneck, @kimanne723, @kyleetheeditor, @glamrockmonarch, @rawyld, @queensdivas

[greysfanpage388]

Elevator Hug- part 2 ( repost)

As per request by @ameliashepherdgoeshunting .

Part 1 can be found here:

http://greysfanpage388.tumblr.com/post/172963018076/elevator-hug-repost

Elevator Hug - part 2

The following day turned out to be challenging for Amelia. She and Alex were working on a 10 year old boy who had a brain tumor and needed surgery to remove the tumor. The problem was the boy’s father who didn’t believe in surgery. He strongly refused the surgery to be performed on his son, and ended up having a heated argument with Alex. The boy’s parents refused to sign the consent for the surgery- much to Alex and Amelia’s dismay.

But there was nothing they could do about it, as it was against the rules to operate on a patient against the parent or guardian’s wishes.

As Amelia stood at the nurses’ counter outside the boy’s room, watching the weak looking boy and his parents from a distance, she shook her head sadly. She knew at the rate the tumor was growing- the boy wouldn’t have long to live. The parents might regret their decision when the boy dies. There was no grief like of a parent who had lost their child. She knew that. She had experienced it before, and it was like a part of her heart was ripped apart from her, leaving a permanent hole that could never be filled.

She stood staring at the family- wondering whether there was anything else she could do to help the boy. Maybe she could device a plan with Alex to push the boy into surgery without the parents’ consent. And risk getting fired. Was that worth it?

As she was lost in her thoughts, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to come face to face with Alex Karev.

‘ I wish there’s something more we could do to help him.’ she sighed as she turned back to the room to look at the family.

‘ There’s nothing we can do.’ said Alex sadly. ‘ We’ve already explained the risks of not performing the surgery, which included death. They fully understood the consequences of their decision and even signed the AOR form. I even almost got into a fight with the father to prove my point. The last thing I want is to get into a fist fight with a patient’s father and put my career in jeopardy again.

‘ I’m just thinking about how the parents will feel when the boy is gone.’ said Amelia, her voice now starting to quiver. ‘ Because I know how it feels to lose a child.’

‘ I know.’ Alex said, nodding his head solemnly. He could recall very vividly every single word Amelia said to him in the attending lounge a couple of months ago. She had poured out her entire heart and soul to him, telling him about her baby who died of anencephaly. His heart broke for her, he had seen several newborns with the condition and they never lasted longer than an hour.

‘ I still don’t understand - how can a parent make a decision which would ultimately lead to their child’s death without feeling remorse about it?’ Amelia asked in a harsh whisper, shaking her head. She knew that her emotions were getting the best of her again. Pregnancy hormones certainly didn’t help either.

‘ Well, as doctors we do the best we can.’ Alex explained rationally. ‘ We inform them of the risk and benefits of each procedure and the consequences not performing the procedure, but ultimately, the patients or family members are the ones who decide.’ he added.

‘I know.’ Amelia nodded her head in understanding.

‘ Are you ok?’ Alex asked when he noticed her face was scrunched.

‘ I just- I know I would never make a decision that would cause harm to my child.’ she said in a shaky voice.

‘ You still miss him, don’t you?’ Alex pointed out as she nodded.

‘ Have you talked to Owen about this?’ Alex asked. ‘ I’m not one to meddle in other people’s affairs- but from what I can see - he really loves you and cares for you, Amelia. I noticed he hasn’t been himself lately since you both were staying apart. You should talk to him, open up to him about how you feel. Tell him exactly what you told me that day in the attendings’ lounge.

‘ I have.’ said Amelia. ‘ Last night- I told him everything about the baby, and it felt good to open up to him. It was like a huge burden was lifted from my chest. But I have not properly apologized to him or explained the reason why I left.’

‘ Go home, Amelia.’ Alex ordered in a gentle tone. ‘ There’s nothing much you can do by staying here, I don’t think the parents are going to change their minds overnight. I’m bringing Arizona to speak to the parents again, and if they still don’t change their minds, we’ll device a plan tomorrow to get him into surgery ok? For now, get some rest first. Go home to Owen.’

Amelia nodded, knowing that Alex had a point.

‘ Ok.’ she said softly. ‘ I will. Please do update me on any progress.’

‘ I will.’ said Alex earnestly. ‘ Now go.’

______________________________________________________________

By the time Amelia reached home, she was exhausted. The case had drained the energy out of her.

She had dropped by Meredith’s right after work to collect her clothes and belongings.

She had to admit- it felt nice to finally be home again after a few months. Granted, she had a comfortable bed in Meredith’s place and enjoyed the company of her sisters, nieces and nephew, but it wasn’t the same as coming home to Owen.

Owen was reading a journal as Amelia hopped onto the bed, freshly showered.

A moment of silence passed between them. Although the night before,

Amelia had told Owen about the reason why she was afraid to have more babies and told him all about her Unicorn baby, she knew things weren’t totally mended yet between them. She knew deep down inside he was still mad at her for running away from him like that. After all, he had done nothing wrong to deserve that treatment from her.

She glanced at him as he pretended to be preoccupied with his journal, his eyebrows furrowed the way they always did when he was deeply concentrating on a task. Seeing him frown always turned her on. But not when she knew that she might have something to do with this facial expression of his.

Scooting closer to Owen, she linked her arm under his and leaned her head on his arm.

Instinctively, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Although he was still mad at her for leaving him, he missed her tender touch so much. He could sniff the vanilla scent of her hair which he missed so much. As she leaned against him and looked at him with those pleading blue eyes, the eyes he couldn’t say no to, he knew he couldn’t resist.

‘ Owen, I’m sorry.’ she apologized softly.

‘ Sorry for what?’ Owen asked, pretending to be puzzled as he turned to look at her.

Amelia hit him playfully on the arm.

‘ Owen! You know jolly well what I mean. I’m so sorry for running away from you like that. ‘ she explained.

‘ You left with just a simple note, asking me not to blame myself. Of course I was going to blame myself, Amelia.’ said Owen, trying his best to keep an even tone in his voice. ‘ For the entire month after you left, I keep asking myself every night as I lay alone in our bed and stared at your empty side of the bed what had I done wrong. All I did was say that I wanted to start a family, something which you also agreed on. Which was why I was so confused when you suddenly yelled at my face a few weeks later saying you didn’t want a baby. What made you change your mind so abruptly?’ Owen asked Amelia as he cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up so they were both looking at each other in the eye.

He knew that when he did that, she couldn’t escape his gaze.

‘ I told you I was scared.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ At first, when we were talking about starting a family, I was excited to be starting a family with you. There’s no one else I would rather start a family with. Then a few weeks after that, I was initially so excited when I missed my period and realized that I might be pregnant. I was so excited- that I went around the hospital telling close friends that I was pregnant. I was even plotting on the best possible way to tell you the good news.Then when I asked Meredith how she told Derek- she noncholantly answered that when she was pregnant with Ellis- she didn’t need to tell Derek because he was dead. That was when the memories of the past came back to haunt me. The last time I was pregnant- I didn’t need to tell the father too, because he was dead.’ tears started pooling in her eyes at the memory of her waking up that morning and shaking Ryan’s lifeless body , hoping against all odds that he was just asleep.

‘ And then, just when I thought he had left a part of him in me- the universe had to take away my baby too.’ she added.

‘ There’s no need to be scared, Amelia.’ Owen whispered, at loss of words to say to her. He took her hands in his as a gesture of comfort.

‘ One day when I was 5.’ Amelia continued, ‘ I was in the store room of my dad’s convenience store with Derek. I was happily playing with 2 pennies that my dad gave me. Then 2 men entered in the store. I thought they were just regular customers coming in to buy some stuff. Shortly after , I could hear them loudly demanding something from my dad. Then I could hear the sound of a gun shot piercing through the air. I can still hear it now. I saw my dad lying in a pool of his own blood. I wanted to scream and run over to him, but Derek stopped me, covering my mouth and holding me tight. Had he not done so, I would’ve been shot as well. That was the day my entire life changed.’ she said as her eyes watered.

Owen placed an arm around her shoulder, knowing that it would give her some comfort as he silently urged her to continue.

‘ I wasn’t the same cheerful little girl anymore. Nobody ever laughed or smiled anymore in my family and my entire family walked on eggshells around me. The only person I could talk to was Derek. So I did the only thing I knew- escape. I turned to drugs and alcohol to run away from the pain I was feeling. I even took Derek’s car for a joyride once and crashed it and then overdosed, because I thought that it would take away the pain. It only lead to Derek performing CPR on me to save my life.’

Owen winced at the thought of Amelia almost losing her life before. She wouldn’t have come into his life had Derek not saved her.

‘After graduation and college- I thought I was fine for a while. I studied hard and graduated from Harvard Medical School. I floated from city to city, trying to make a fresh new start. I loved L.A. and I adored my friends there. Then I met Ryan. It was great while it lasted, we both shared our love for drugs, we enjoyed getting high together. We even planned a future together.’ Amelia continued.

She looked up at Owen and noticed a slightly hurt expression on his face. However he silently nodded, urging her to continue.

‘ Then the universe had to take him away from me. Not only that, it took away our baby as well.’ she continued.

‘ Then when I thought I was healed, there came James. He was a nice, decent guy and all that- we were even engaged to be married.’ Amelia now had a faraway look in her eyes. ‘ But then my fear of losing another man I loved overtook me and I did the only thing I knew- I ran.’

‘ And then Derek died.’ she said softly. ‘ I lost my only brother and closest family member. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.’ she said bitterly, still feeling some resentment towards Meredith for not letting her say goodbye to Derek.

‘ And now, you came into my life. You- are just different, Owen.’ said Amelia. ‘ I’ve never met such a kind, caring, compassionate, loyal and honest person like you. You show so much passion and dedication in your work, you can be so firm and strict when the need be, but so tender and loving the next. You are so caring and loving towards me, Owen.’ she said looking up to his eyes and seeing him gazing down lovingly at her.

‘ And that scared me. Because you’re too perfect, Owen. There’s no such thing as perfect in my life.’ Amelia admitted.

Owen shook his head wordlessly at her admission. No, he wasn’t perfect, they had this conversation before.

‘ And when you suggested that we start a family, I was scared Owen, scared that our baby would be born anencephalic and we would lose the baby too. And then you would leave me. So I did what I knew best…. I ran. And when I found out that I’m pregnant again….. I just broke down. I didn’t know what to do Owen. I didn’t want to lose another baby.’ Amelia continued.

She looked up at Owen again to meet his eyes.

His eyes showed a flash of hurt and confusion in them.

‘ But why do you need to run? You can always talk to me. I’ll be there for you.I told you I would never leave you, no matter what.’

‘ You don’t get it, Owen.’ said Amelia exasperatedly as she looked up at him with sad blue eyes. . ‘ How can I trust you not to leave when every man I’ve ever loved had left me? My dad, Ryan, my baby, Derek…..’

‘ Do not add me into your list ok?’ Owen said gently but firmly as he tilted her face up to look at his so their eyes met. ‘ Because I’m not going anywhere.’ he said with a reassuring tone in his voice.

‘ You’d better not.’ Amelia half joked as she flashed him a teary smile.

‘ No matter how many times you ask, my answer will be the same.’ said Owen, an earnest tone in his voice. ‘I would never leave you, Amelia.’

‘ Ok.’ Amelia nodded, as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and leaned onto Owen- feeling the comfort of his heart beating against her chest.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, as his other hand slowly moved to cover her tiny bump where their baby was safely nestled inside.

As they lay there, Amelia began telling Owen about her and Alex’s patient, how his parents wouldn’t let them operate on him, and how they were planning  to push him into an OR tomorrow against the parent’s wishes. Owen listened attentively, feeling sorry for the patient and feeling proud of her.

Amelia then began expressing her concern again about the ultrasound appointment the following day and how she hoped this baby would be healthy because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing another baby.

And again, Owen reassured her, telling her that he would be with her every step of the way. She dozed off in his arms, knowing it was the safest place to be.

__________________________________________________________

At 9:30 am sharp the following day- Owen and Amelia sat in the waiting room of the antenatal clinic, awaiting their turn.

 Amelia’s heart was beating fast. This was it. She was going to find out whether the baby she was carrying- her and Owen’s baby- was healthy or not. Chances were, the baby was healthy. Or so she hoped. But what if the baby was not? What if she was the unlucky less than 5% who had another anencephalic child? The universe had it’s way of conspiring against her after all.

She looked around the waiting room full of expectant mothers. Some came alone, some were sitting with their partners or spouses. Some had a bored look on their faces as if they would rather be anywhere but there. Others sported happy looks- excited at the prospect of seeing their baby.

Her legs shook as she pretended to occupy herself with her phone to pass time. She felt a strong warm hand cover hers beside her, Owen had noticed her nervousness. He held her hands in his as a sign of silent support as they continued waiting for their turn.

It might have been just minutes, but it seemed like eternity for the expectant couple before Arizona called them into her room.

‘ Hey’ she greeted them, showing her trademark cheerful smile. ‘ So you’re here for the detailed scan huh?’

‘ Yes, to see whether this baby has a head or not.’ said Amelia noncholantly.

‘ Ooh….I’m sorry. I forget my filter when I’m nervous.’ she chuckled as Owen and Arizona exchanged glances at each other. They both knew about her first pregnancy.

Seeing how nervous Amelia looked, Arizona gently asked her friend all the routine Obstetric questions and performed the normal Obstetrics physical examination. Besides morning sickness, Amelia was doing well, with normal weight gain, blood pressure and blood sugar. She was taking her prenatal vitamins regularly, something she knew she should if she were to ensure normal fetal development. Arizona again reassured Amelia that the chance of a recurrence of anencephaly was low, less than 5%. Amelia nodded, she knew that fact already, but it wasn’t going to fully reassure her.

‘ So are you guys ready to see your baby?’ Arizona asked once Amelia was lying on the examination bed.

Amelia didn’t reply as she turned her head away from the scan machine.

Owen squeezed Amelia’s hand wordlessly as he exchanged a glance with Arizona. They both knew why Amelia was afraid of looking at the machine and their hearts broke for her.

Arizona sincerely hoped that this baby would be healthy. She adored the couple and she wished them only happiness.

Silence filled the room as Arizona entered Amelia’s details into the machine. Amelia still had her head turned away from the machine and Owen was still holding her hand.

‘ Ok, this will feel a little cold,’ Arizona warned as she squeezed the gel on Amelia’s stomach. Amelia shuddered in reflex. She didn’t know if it was from the cold of the gel or due to her nervousness.

Arizona began manipulating the ultrasound probe around Amelia’s lower abdomen as the trio remained silent. Arizona was frowning in concentration, fully focused on obtaining a clear image of the fetus. She adjusted the settings as she continued manipulating the probe. Owen was staring at the ultrasound screen, excited to be seeing his baby. His heart was pounding in anticipation. He had been waiting for this his whole life- seeing his own child for the first time. He tried to hide his excitement though, for the sake of his wife.

Amelia meanwhile, still had her head turned away from the screen.

She could still recall the the first ultrasound she had during her first pregnancy. She had been excited to meet her and Ryan’s baby. But when she saw the look on Addison’s face, she immediately knew that something was wrong with the baby. And when Addison broke the news that the baby was anencephalic- her whole world crumbled.

 Therefore she decided that she would not look at the screen, because if she did, what would appear on the screen would be another anencephalic baby. She also didn’t dare to look at Arizona’s face because if she did, she would see the same expression on Arizona’s face as she broke the news that she had another brainless baby. She wasn’t even going to look at Owen’s face, because she couldn’t bear to see the disappointed look on Owen’s face at Arizona’s words.

 Instead, her head still turned away from the screen, she sent up a prayer to the powers above to let this baby be healthy. She really couldn’t bear to think of what she would do should the baby have any abnormalities. Should she abort the baby this time? Owen squeezed her hand again, reminding her that he was there by her side this time. This time, she wasn’t alone.

‘ Ah ha! There it is!’ Arizona exclaimed as Owen turned his attention back to the screen.

‘ Here is your baby.’  Arizona pointed out. ‘ 2 hands, 2 legs, a stomach, and ……a head.’ she added, emphasizing on the word head.

Owen’s face broke out into a wide smile. He couldn’t believe it, it was his baby he was looking at , a new being that he and Amelia had created together. He thought their baby was perfect and the most beautiful baby ever.

Amelia’s head was still turned away from the screen. She didn’t want to believe what Arizona was saying. It was too good to be true.

‘ Amelia look.’ he whispered, squeezing her hand, reassuring her. ‘ Look at our baby, he or she is perfect.’ he continued whispering into her ear, stroking her hair gently.

‘ It’s sucking it’s thumb now.’ Arizona announced in a cheerful voice.  ‘ Unfortunately it’s legs are crossed so I can’t tell the gender. But everything seems fine.’ she said.

Arizona began the fetal measurements as Owen held Amelia’s hand and continued stroking her hair.

‘ Yep- the baby is growing well, the measurements are at the normal percentiles.’ Arizona said, smiling at the couple.

‘ Amelia- look at our baby.’ Owen whispered into her ear again.

 Amelia finally gathered the courage to turn her head to face the screen.

There it was, her and Owen’s baby- with a head, a stomach, 2 hands and 2 legs and sucking its thumb. It was perfect.

Tears formed in her eyes. Her baby had a head!!

‘ The head. Owen, our baby has a head!’ Amelia proclaimed, looking up at Owen with a teary smile. This baby had a head, unlike her previous baby. She stared at the image of her baby on the screen for a few long moments, making sure that Arizona wasn’t lying and that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. She closed and opened her eyes again. Owen and Arizona were still standing at the bedside, both smiling widely. And yes, the baby still had a head.

An immense sense of relief overtook her as she sobbed with joy, tears running down her cheeks. She cried in Owen’s arms, releasing all the anxiety and fear she had kept inside prior to this appointment. She felt a huge burden being lifted off her shoulders.

‘ Our baby has a head.’ Owen repeated happily, kissing the top of her head as he hugged her, letting her continue sobbing in his arms, wetting his labcoat. He would still love her and their baby so much had this baby not have a head, but seeing her so happy and relieved made him happy too.

Arizona felt warmth in her heart upon watching the couple rejoice at the wonderful news. She wished only good things for them both. She let them both stay in that position for a while before clearing her throat.

‘ Wanna hear the heartbeat?’ she asked, as Amelia gave her a watery smile. The couple nodded eagerly.

She adjusted the scan settings, and soon the comforting ‘ lub dub’ sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the scan room.

‘ Well your baby has a strong heartbeat.’ Arizona confirmed, smiling. ‘ Your baby seems fine and healthy.’

Amelia felt a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks as Owen hugged her tight.

‘ You hear that? Our baby is fine and healthy.’ Owen said softly, as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Amelia looked up at him as their eyes met. She flashed him a teary smile.

‘ Yes, our baby is fine and healthy.’ she repeated, letting it sink in. She and Owen were going to have a healthy baby!

Arizona printed out the ultrasound picture and passed it to the couple, congratulating them on the good news.

She walked out of the room, letting them have some privacy.

 ______________________________________________________________

Later that night, they laid down in bed, studying the ultrasound picture for the umpteenth time. Owen had his arms wrapped around Amelia as they both admired their baby’s perfect features, studying every single detail of the ultrasound image.

‘ I still can’t believe that we made this image of perfection.’ Owen whispered as he kissed the top of Amelia’s head.

‘ I still can’t believe- this baby actually has a head.’ said Amelia, smiling at the image.

‘ I told you our baby will be healthy. Didn’t I say so? You have to trust me from now onwards.’ Owen pointed out, winking at her.

Amelia gave him playful jab on the elbow.

‘ Alright sir, I’ll believe you from now on.’ she relented as they both chuckled.

‘ But seriously Amelia, you have to know that I’ll love you and this baby no matter what. I’ll still love you both even if this baby had any abnormality. I think it’s important for you to know that.’ said Owen earnestly pulled his wife closer to him.

She looked up at him, studying his honest expression.

‘ Ok.’ she nodded, realizing that she should be thankful to be married to such an amazing man.

They both continued staring at the ultrasound image again, unable to get enough of seeing their baby.

‘ Do you think it’s a boy or girl?’ Amelia asked as she looked up at Owen.

‘ Well, what do you think? I thought mothers know best.’ he said, smiling at her. ‘I really don’t mind either way, although I would love a daughter who looks like you.’ he added.

Amelia smiled, showing her dimples which he hoped their daughter would inherit.

‘ Well, I don’t mind either way too. I just want a healthy baby.’ she admitted.

They snuggled close to each other on the bed, as Owen placed his hand on the slight buldge in Amelia’s lower abdomen where their baby lay. Amelia placed her hand on top of his as they savored the feel of their precious, perfect baby nestled safely inside.

For the first time since she was 5 years old, Amelia finally felt pure joy and freedom from her past. Her dad, Ryan, Derek, and unicorn baby were all in her past, but Owen and their baby were her future. And the future was great.

Comments, reviews, and messages are very much appreciated. I would really love to know what you guys think!

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

Protect Them - Part 4 (Wren) (FINAL PART) - a Newt/Tina fic

Tagging: @pinkdiamonddolphin

Here it is – the final chapter of “Protect Them”!

Set in September 1946.

Phoenix – 22nd June 1931 – 15 (5th Year at Hogwarts) Linnet – 13th January 1933 – 13 (3rd Year at Hogwarts) Leo – 3rd March 1935 – 11 (1st Year at Hogwarts) Wren – 5th May 1941 – 5

(Kowalski children:)

Tobias “Toby” – 15th October 1929 – 16 (nearly 17) (6th Year at Hogwarts) Daisy – 7th April 1931 – 15 and a half (5th Year at Hogwarts) Abel and Ruth (twins) – 20th November 1933 – 12 (nearly 13) (2nd Year at Hogwarts) Elijah “Eli” – 28th January 1939 – 7 (nearly 8) Lucy – 8th September 1941 – 5 Penny – 17th January 1943 – 3 (nearly 4)

(A/N: Penny is a child that Jacob and Queenie adopted – she’s got red hair and blue eyes, so that’s a heads-up!)

It hadn’t escaped Newt’s notice that his youngest daughter was extremely bored; with Leo now starting his first year at Hogwarts, it left Wren the only child still in the house. She had looked miserable when they had waved the others off on Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters on the first of the month, tightly clutching Tina’s hand and voicing her wish to go to Hogwarts too; it would still be another six years until she was old enough, much to her disappointment.

At first, he had thought that perhaps allowing her to do more in the case would appease or at least distract her; for a short time she had looked cheered up by feeding the Mooncalves and Bowtruckles, but then a week passed and she returned to looking sullen. It was slightly off-putting, to the say the least, as she was usually so much brighter and alive.

Tina had seemed equally worried by their daughter’s melancholy behaviour. “Queenie suggested getting her a pet, but I don’t see how that will help…besides, there are enough creatures in this house as it is.”

“She’s not even enjoying being around the creatures anymore,” Newt sighed, shaking his head. “She really misses Leo…before, she could play with him, but now…”

There was a wet and rainy day a week later; while Tina had braved the storm to go to work, Newt had resigned himself to his case with Wren to check on his creatures. His daughter watched sadly as he tended to each of them, feeding them and making sure that they were content; she didn’t move when he gestured for her to come and help him, and so he ended up dropping the idea with sinking shoulders.

By the time all of the creatures were dealt with, it was lunchtime; Newt helped the five-year-old out of the case, making sure she didn’t slip on the steps, and then set about making some food for the two of them. Wren ate silently, keeping her eyes focused on her plate; it was slightly unnerving, if he was honest, for usually she was so bubbly and talkative.

She raised her eyes to meet his own, chewing slowly. “Don’t feel like talking…and what does ‘un-nerving’ mean?”

“Nothing,” Newt said quickly, forcing himself to smile. “I just miss your talking, that’s all.”

She watched out the window of the front as he cleaned up, chin on her hand as she studied the rain drops rolling down the window; she didn’t look his way when he entered the room or when he sat next to her on the sofa where she was kneeling.

“I like rain,” She announced thoughtfully. “It sounds pretty…but I don’t like it because it means that I can’t go and play. Is that strange, Daddy?”

“No, I don’t think so,” He assured her. “Well, I’ve done my jobs for the day – I shouldn’t need to feed the creatures until this evening now. Perhaps…Is there anything that you’d like to do?”

Wren shrugged. “Not really. I just want to play.”

Thankfully, Queenie decided to visit that day; she and the children were kept dry with a spell, and she beamed at him when she entered the house.

“Awful day, isn’t it?” She stated before pausing. “Is now a bad time?”

“Actually now is the perfect time,” He answered honestly. “I think Wren needs a playmate.”

“Missing her brothers and sister,” Queenie agreed, nodding in understanding. “Yeah, it’s no fun…Eli’s been all sad ‘cause he wants to go too; the girls ain’t as bad, but Eli knows and it’s getting him down.”

It didn’t take long for Wren’s spirits to lift when she and Eli started playing together; soon they were both laughing and giggling as they chased each other around the house, clearly happy. Lucy and Penny trailed behind, not quite able to keep up but having fun all the same. In the meantime, Newt made Queenie some coffee (she still thought that British coffee was worse, but she accepted it anyway) and himself a much-needed cup of tea before they sat down in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe Teen’s gone in today,” The blonde muttered, shaking her head in disbelief. “She’ll be stuck on deskwork – there ain’t no way they’re doing raids in this weather.”

“I know, but she insisted,” Newt said rather fondly; he wouldn’t have expected anything less from his wife. “How have things been with you?”

Queenie smiled. “We’re doing just fine; Jacob always misses the kids when they go back to school, misses having them visit the bakery…he’s gonna make some pastries to send up to the school soon, so that the kids don’t get too homesick… Not that Toby’s really a kid anymore.” Here she frowned, somewhat sadly. “He’s gonna be seventeen in October, you know.”

“He has grown rather fast,” He agreed, and he found himself thinking of his own children. “Phoenix is fifteen now; sometimes I forget how old he really is, and I’m surprised when he comes home for the holidays so tall...and Linnet isn’t a little girl anymore either.”

“I’m gonna be crying for weeks when Eli and Lucy both go off to school,” His sister-in-law remarked, and he didn’t doubt it. “I’m gonna miss having kids in the house. Me and Jacob, we keep thinking about adopting again…it would give Penny a brother or sister to grow up with, you know? A brother or sister who’s a No-Maj like her…and yes, I know you Brits call them muggles,” She added, rolling her eyes at his thoughts. “But No-Maj is a better term.”

Newt merely shook his head with a small grin, deciding it was best not to comment on cultural differences as he lifted his mug.

By the time four o’clock had rolled around, both Lucy and Penny were absolutely shattered; the younger of the girls had fallen asleep on Queenie’s lap in the kitchen, and her older sister didn’t look far behind as she rubbed her eyes.

“I should probably get them home,” Queenie mused fondly, running a hand through Penny’s red curls; her daughter stirred but didn’t wake. “I wonder where Eli got off to.”

“Here, I’ll go and fetch him,” Newt told her, standing up; she looked rather weighed down with two small girls leaning on her, unable to stand up just yet.

She smiled gratefully. “Thank you, honey.”

As it soon transpired, Eli and Wren were still playing together in the front room – and they’d made quite the mess of the furniture and cushions, much to his dismay: Tina was going to kill him if she knew he’d let the children destroy the front room.

“Alright, I think that’s enough fun for today,” He announced hurriedly. “Eli, I think your moth-”

“DADDY!” Wren was calling to him, beaming and giggling. “Catch me, Daddy! Catch me!”

Newt looked over at her – and his heart froze in his chest; she was standing on a chair, her short dark hair ruffled and sticking out in all directions. Suddenly he found himself thinking of an eerily similar image: it wasn’t Wren standing on a chair, but Tina, and he was no longer in the front room – he was in that bland white death cell, deep under the heart of MACUSA…and she was crying, terrified, thinking she was about to die…he had to catch her, and if he didn’t then it would be his fault-

“Daddy?” Wren was no longer smiling, looking confused. Eli had now stopped playing too, looking over with wide eyes. “What’s wrong? Why are you thinking about Mummy crying?”

“I’ll catch you,” He had told her, though he had been just as scared as she had. “I’ve got you, Tina.” And he had caught her, he forced himself to remember; he had caught her and held her close, and she was still very much alive…Tina was fine, she was absolutely fine, he didn’t need to panic…

Another image assaulted his mind quite suddenly: it was Wren standing on the chair in the Death Cells of MACUSA now, her face tear-stained and terrified as she pleaded for him to help her. The black potion was rising up around her, forming jaws ready to clamp down around her and burn her…she was screaming, he was supposed to protect her, she had trusted him…she was wailing and sobbing as the potion burnt her-

Wren clambered down from the chair and ran to him, tears in her eyes. “Daddy, stop! What’s wrong, Daddy?”

“I’ll get my Ma,” Eli decided, hurriedly leaving the room. “She’ll know what to do.”

“You’re scaring me, Daddy,” His daughter whimpered, clutching his arm; he hadn’t even realized he was shaking. “What’s that black stuff? Why are you thinking about it?”

“I’m fine,” Newt gasped, though he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I’m fine.”

Wren frowned. “No, you’re not. You’re thinking about Mummy and you’re thinking about me, and I don’t like what you’re thinking; why was she on that chair?”

“She…” He could feel his chest start to tighten, and he cursed himself for losing composure over something so small; she’d just been standing on a chair, for Merlin’s sake, just playing and he’d lost his mind over it.

Tina’s fine…She’s fine, I caught her. Wren is fine, she’s right here. Stop it.

Queenie entered the room them, looking extremely worried as she walked towards him. “Newt, honey, it’s okay,” He heard her say calmingly, her soft hands cupping his face. “It’s okay.”

“What’s wrong with him, Auntie Queenie?” Wren asked, taking a few steps back; she looked terrified.

“Your Pa’s okay,” Queenie soothed her, though her eyes didn’t leave Newt. “He just needs a minute.”

“I’m fine,” He managed, pulling away from her as he finally – finally – found the strength to move. “I’m fine, really.”

The blonde sent him a look. “You ain’t fine…sit down a minute, alright? I’ll get you some tea.”

“But…But you said-”

“I can stay until Teen comes home,” Queenie said firmly, and it was obvious that she wasn’t going to budge on the matter. “It ain’t gonna be much longer ‘til she gets home anyway – come on, sit down.”

Newt grudgingly let her force him down on the sofa, his hands twitching; Wren sat down, keeping a distance between them, and watched him with wary eyes. He knew that he had scared her, and he found himself feeling awash with guilt because of it; she was only five, and he had subjected her to those thoughts – he still had nightmares about that day, Tina did too, and the last thing he wanted would be for their daughter to have them too now because of him.

After a moment, Wren hesitantly moved closer to him; she took his hand slowly and gave it a squeeze in her own tiny one. “I’m okay, Daddy,” She murmured quietly. “And Mummy’s okay too.”

“Yes, I know,” He muttered, and he found himself inexplicably glad that she had taken his hand. “I know.”

Tina arrived home shortly after five, looking rather tired and somewhat damp from the weather outside; she was surprised when Queenie was the first one to greet her, eyes soft and face concerned. She quietly told her sister a rather basic outline of what had transpired that afternoon before adding that it would be best if she spoke to Newt – he would probably benefit more from talking to her, after all.

“Wren can come over for dinner at our place tonight,” Queenie said tactfully, giving her sister a knowing look. “Give you and Newt some time to…to sort things out. I’ll talk to her, don’t worry.”

Wren had seemed rather puzzled as to why she was suddenly having dinner with the Kowalskis but didn’t argue; in fact, she seemed rather pleased to be going to their house – especially when her aunt mentioned that there’d be strudel for dessert. She waved goodbye to her parents happily as she left with Queenie and the other children, her voice clear and excitable as she chattered down the path.

Once she had gone, Tina placed a hand on her husband’s arm and took a deep breath; she smile she had put on had faded. “Newt…”

“Can we talk about this in the case?” Newt asked quickly, not meeting her eye. “I’d feel far more comfortable if we talked about it down there.”

It was a reasonable request – and she had expected nothing less really. “Yes, of course.”

The artificial light in the case was already starting to set, perhaps reflecting the autumn outside in the real world, and the two made to sit down to watch it on the grass near the Occamy nest. Surrounded by the chirping and grazing of their creatures, Newt relaxed visibly and looked down at the floor in thought; she didn’t push him, waiting instead for him to feel ready to speak.

Finally, after a good few minutes, he inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me today.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Tina muttered, and her hand was on his arm again. “It’s alright – just talk to me about it.”

He swallowed, shoulders drooping with defeat. “They were playing…Wren and Eli…Queenie, she wanted to get home so I said that I’d get Eli for her…I walked in and she was on a chair, just standing there and giggling – she saw me and asked me to…to catch her.” He closed his eyes. “She looks so much like you, Tina, that for a moment I forgot where I was…for a moment I was in that Death Cell with that death potion, and you were there panicking – you were about to die, and you needed me to catch you.”

“And you did catch me,” She reminded him softly. “You caught me and I’ve never forgotten it.”

“But what if I hadn’t?” Newt questioned, looking terrified by the prospect. “I used to have such awful dreams…what if Pickett hadn’t been in my pocket? Or if I hadn’t had the Swooping Evil in my sleeve?” He sighed heavily. “I know, it’s silly to dwell on the past… But there was a moment, Tina, where I looked at Wren and saw you instead – and then it was her. She was the one standing on the chair, and she was petrified…she was screaming for help…”

“That won’t be her,” His wife said firmly, though her face was nothing but understanding. “She’ll never be in that Death Cell, never.”

He looked away, down at his hands. “I know, I know, I’m being rather silly…but sometimes I wonder, Tina, if perhaps…perhaps I can’t protect her. She expects me to protect her, expects me to know what to do if things go wrong – I’m her father – but what if I can’t?”

Tina was silent for a moment, considering his words; when she spoke, her voice was quiet. “We won’t be able to protect them forever; children get hurt sometimes, and there’s nothing we can do about it.” She paused, shoulders drooping somewhat. “You’re not the only one who worries about her, Newt. She’s so much like Queenie – she has her spirit, and she’s so bubbly and bright… I know that she looks nothing like her, but sometimes I look at Wren and remember Queenie. I remember how I did my best to look after her, did my best to make sure that she was protected and safe…the world isn’t kind to orphans.”

Newt was stunned by this admission, but his mind was starting to understand just what she was talking about: somehow, they had managed to start and raise a family through two wars, wizarding and muggle, manging further to keep their family intact. However, there had always been the threat looming of what might happen to the children should anything happen to himself or Tina – neither of their occupations were risk-free by any stretch of the imagination, and the thought made a chill run down his spine.

“I used to look at her when she was a baby,” His wife continued carefully. “I used to look at her and wonder what would happen to her – to all of them – if either or both of us were hurt…or worse.”

“They’d have Queenie and Jacob,” He stated without hesitating – he was certain that this would be the case. “You and I both know that they’d make room for the children if need be, even with their own brood to concern themselves with.”

They both knew that this was the truth; Jacob and Queenie would never allow their nephews and nieces to suffer, would never let them starve or freeze – they would take in the Scamander children within a heartbeat, if the need did occur. It offered some slight comfort – not a great deal, but some.

After a few minutes of sitting side-by-side silently, Tina’s hand sought his own; Newt linked their fingers together, pressing their palms close. “We can’t protect them from everything,” He heard her tell him softly. “But I can promise you right now, Newt, that she won’t ever be in that awful Death Cell.”

“No,” He admitted, feeling more foolish than ever now. “I know…it’s not even here, it’s in America. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” She muttered, and she was resting her head on his shoulder. “We’ve both got our fair share of scars…not all of them are physical, but they’re still there.” She inhaled deeply, eyes gazing at the Fwooper nearby as it shook out its wings and shrieked. “We can’t pretend that dreadful things won’t happen…the world can be a terrible place. But we can make sure she knows she’s not alone in it – that none of them are alone; they’ve got us, and Jacob and Queenie, and each other to help them.”

Newt released the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding as he leaned into her. “Of course. Absolutely.” He hesitated for a few seconds, debating whether he needed to say it. “Thank you, Tina… If ever there’s been someone to put some sense into me, it’s you.”

“It goes both ways,” Tina murmured, squeezing his hand. “They’ll be okay: all four of them will. There’s no point in worrying – as you’d say, it only means you suffer twice.”

He couldn’t help the weak half-smile that turned his lips upwards; even now, he found himself thinking about how he really had gotten so incredibly, unbelievably lucky in marrying her.

It was just before midnight when the half-shut door slowly creaked to open all of the way; both Newt and Tina, sitting in the dim light of a lamp, both turned their gazes to see who or what had caused the door to open. To their surprise, Wren was standing in the doorway, looking rather unsure and cautious.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Tina muttered, though she wasn’t angry; their daughter had been exhausted upon returning from Jacob and Queenie’s that evening, and she had immediately gone straight to bed.

“I know,” Wren said quietly, tugging at the tie on her dressing gown – pink and a birthday gift from Queenie – as she lowered her head. “I…I couldn’t sleep. I could hear you talking…hear you thinking, and I wanted to ask you – both of you – about something, but…but I didn’t want to upset you.”

Newt frowned thoughtfully. “I don’t think you’d upset us in any way… Come on, come and sit with us, and we’ll see if we can answer whatever’s on your mind.”

Their daughter clambered up onto the bed to sit between them; she was silent for a short time, avoiding their gazes as she tried to decide on how best to voice her feelings. She knew that they wouldn’t be angry, but all the same…

“This afternoon,” She started uncertainly, struggling to find the words to express how she was feeling. “You were thinking about some stuff, Daddy; about Mummy, and this chair, and this black stuff.”

Newt was silent for a moment, shoulders sinking ever so slightly. “Yes, I was thinking about that. I’m sorry that you had to see something like that.”

“It was scary,” She muttered quietly. “You were scared, Daddy, when you thought about Mummy…I didn’t like it.” She paused, now looking to her mother worriedly. “You were crying, Mummy…you were going to be hurt. You…You were in trouble…the black stuff…”

She was starting to look rather distraught now, both by the conversation and by the thoughts she was talking about; Tina found herself wrapping an arm around Wren’s shoulders, holding her tight to herself. This conversation was bringing up frightening memories, but she knew she had to keep them away from her daughter – the last thing they needed was to upset her more. “Wren…”

“It was real, wasn’t it?” The five-year-old asked tearfully, though she already knew it was true. “It wasn’t a…a bad dream like the one I had about the monsters…it really happened.”

There was no point in lying: their daughter would know immediately. “Yes, that’s true,” Newt admitted. “It did happen, I’m afraid.”

“You nearly died, Mummy,” Wren sniffled, absolutely horrified as her fingers started to cling to her mother’s pyjama shirt. “You really nearly died!”

“Yes – but I didn’t die,” Tina reassured her hurriedly, giving her a tight squeeze. “I’m right here, remember? I’m still very much alive because your Daddy saved me; he caught me when I jumped, and I’m alive.”

“And it was a very long time ago,” Newt added, placing a hand on their daughter’s back; she raised her eyes to look at him. “It was before your mother and I even got married – long before you children were born, at any rate.”

For a moment their daughter just frowned, clearly still very unsure. “If it’s okay now, then why are you still thinking about it? It was years ago, so…so why did you think about it?”

“Well…” The Magizoologist hesitated: how to describe the idea of trauma to a five-year-old? “The thing is that sometimes, when awful things happen, it can be rather difficult to forget…they can stay in your mind for a very long time because they’re so strong.”

Wren was still looking somewhat confused, and so Tina cleared her throat to speak. “It’s like… You know how we went swimming at the beach last Summer?” Their daughter nodded. “And do you remember how you asked about the marks on me and Daddy?”

“They’re scars,” She recalled.

“Yeah, exactly. Well…it’s kinda like that,” Tina explained carefully. “Do you remember that we told you that they didn’t hurt anymore? They’ve healed, but they’ve left marks – scars – that can sometimes bother us.”

“Uh-huh,” Wren agreed, her eyebrows furrowing a tad. “So…do you have scars from that black stuff too?”

Her mother hesitated. “Not exactly. Sometimes things that hurt us don’t leave actual scars, not ones that you can see – sometimes bad stuff, like memories or events, can still leave something behind that hurts, even if you can’t see it. Does that make sense?”

“I think so,” The five-year-old said slowly. “It hurts but not on the outside – it’s on the inside…like when you’re angry or upset or scared?”

“Yes, exactly,” Newt acknowledged. “That’s why some memories are more painful than others – in fact, I’m sure you could say that certain memories are just like scars.” He paused before continuing, and when he spoke again he was quieter. “However, it doesn’t mean that they ruin things forever – not at all. You learn to accept it and it becomes less painful, and when it does then you go on with life.”

Wren started to nod, mind working hard to keep up – even being able to read his mind, she was struggling somewhat. “I think I understand. It was a scary thing that happened, so it’s something that hurts…but it hurt less after a while, and now you and Mummy are happy?”

“We’re very happy,” Tina assured her, and she was smiling softly. “As much as all of the bad experiences hurt, it’s nothing compared to the good things.”

The little girl suddenly started to beam as she caught a glimpse of the memories her mother was referring to. “You and Daddy getting married, and…and us being born! Those are nice!”

“Those are all wonderful things,” Newt agreed fondly, and he knew that she was looking through his thoughts too. “We wouldn’t trade those for anything in the world…you see, I think you’ll find, Wren, that the good in this world really does outweigh the bad.”

It was clear that she was relieved; sifting through her father’s thoughts, she could see that he was telling the truth. Knowing – not just hoping, but knowing – that the happy memories of family and love were far greater and stronger than any misfortune they had faced made her feel calmer. She found herself relaxing between them, finally feeling comforted.

With all of this in mind, Wren gave a small yawn and started to blink tiredly. “I don’t wanna go back to bed,” She confessed, somewhat sheepishly. “Can I…just for one night…stay with you?”

Her parents only had to share a look – the answer was immediately obvious.

“Alright,” Tina acquiesced, shuffling to make some room between herself and her husband. “Just for tonight.”

Once the lights were dimmed and all three of them were settled underneath the duvet comfortably, two small hands reached out, one for her mother’s own hand and one for her father’s. There was a silence in the air as she registered their ease, their love and affection for her, and she found herself feeling completely content as she closed her eyes.

It took just a few minutes before she had drifted off into a peaceful sleep; in the dark, Tina was sending her husband a rather tired smile. “See? She’ll be fine - she’s got us, no matter what happens.”

Newt couldn’t help but grin back at her before looking down at their daughter, nestled between them; she was curled towards him, her small fist barely touching his chest. “Yes…and we’ve got each other too.”

Urgh, sorry for the delay but my depression and stuff got a bit severe and shit happened so… :/ I was hoping to finish it sooner so that I could start a new fic but it looks like I won’t be posting anything until next week now because on Saturday night I’m going to take my dad to see Covenant, and then all-day Sunday I’m at Comic-Con.

But, yeah, I hope that you all enjoyed this or, you know, enjoyed it somewhat at least! Feedback, as always, is love!

[talikhar]

I AM WIDE AWAKE

WOKE AF- The mind opening inner ponderings, visions and realizations of a brain both blessed and cursed with second sight.

WRITTEN THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2017!  

FRIENDS I RESPECT THE FACT YOU ARE  ENTITLED TO YOUR VIEWS, YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND HOW YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.  BUT I’VE SEEN LURKING OF EVIL SO SUBTLE, MOVING SO SWIFTLY, ENGULFING THE WORLD COMPLETELY AND CORRODING THE SOULS OF SO MANY.  IT WOULD BE CONSIDERED SINFUL TO TELL A PERSON DIRECTLY WHAT THEIR FUTURE IS,  HOWEVER WE HAVE THE POWER AND CAPACITY TO CHANGE THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND MOLD OUR LIVES DIFFERENTLY.  SO HOPING TO SPREAD SOME WISDOM,  SPEAKING  ALLEGORICALLY AND SHARING MY PERCEPTIONS AND CONCERNS IN A BOTH DEEPLY PHILOSOPHICAL  AND LIGHT HEARTENING HUMOROUS FASHION, HERE IT GOES...   OH, AND DISCLAIMER...  I AM NOT A WITCH!! THE FLAG/ ANTHEM ISSUE IS DRIVING ME NUTS!  WHY?

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW THERE IS MILLIONS OF PEOPLE SUFFERING AND DYING HORRIBLE DEATHS DUE TO NATURAL DISASTERS IN APOCALYPTIC SCALES, WE HAVE PLAGUES LIKE THE ZIKA VIRUS, VOLCANO ERUPTIONS, FIRES, DROUGHTS, HURRICANES, EARTHQUAKES AND TSUNAMIS, ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANT MUTATING VIRUSES PLUS THAT LOOMING GIANT ASTEROID AND PEOPLE ARE GOING INSANE OVER A FLAG AND A SONG.  ONE IS AN INANIMATE OBJECT AND THE OTHER AND ABSTRACT IDEOLOGY THE OTHER HUMAN LIVES!!!!!!   LATER ON ANOTHER OCCASION WE'LL TALK ON THE THEORY OF HOW THE MAYAN CALENDAR WAS NOT ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD BUT THE TIPPING POINT WHERE IT WAS UP TO THIS GENERATION TO DETERMINE IF THERE IS GOING TO BE A FUTURE... THE BEGINNING OF A POTENTIAL END.

SO, MY TWO CENTS IS...(AND SINCE I'M SO BROKE I’M ALMOST DESTITUTE , I MOST DEFINITIVELY  GONNA NEED THOSE PENNIES BACK,TOO!) PEOPLE NEED TO GET WOKE AF BEFORE WE WIPE YOURSELF FROM THIS PLANET.  I KNOW YOU FEEL IT, TOO; THAT VORTEX OF DESPAIR IS SUCKING ALL OF US IN, SPINNING FASTER AND FASTER. 

       2.  THAT IF YOU WANT TO POST THAT THE NFL PROTEST IS DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU FEEL SO OFFENDED BY THESE BLACK MEN, TO THE POINT YOU WILL STOP GOING TO FOOTBALL GAMES... GO ON AND YOU DO YOU BU!    JUST PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS DID NOT SAY ANYWHERE THAT YOU CAN'T KNEEL AND FOOTBALL GAMES DID NOT EVEN EXIST BACK THEN!! BUT THEY DID SAY THE FLAG HAS TO BE PRESENTED AND DISPOSED IN VERY SPECIFIC WAY I BET NONE OF YOU FOLLOW.  THEY WERE TOTALLY ANAL ABOUT IT, BY THE WAY.   SO, NEXT FOURTH OF JULY MAKE SURE YOU RANT AND RAVE, POST ABOUT AND FEEL UTTERLY OFFENDED TO YOUR CORE ABOUT THE SALE AND MISUSE OF THE FLAG FOR PROFIT AND  BOYCOTT EVERY STORE THAT HAS PAPER PLATES AND NAPKINS WITH NOT ONLY THE FLAG BUT A REPRESENTATION OF THE FLAG SUCH AS COLORS, STARS AND STRIPES, EVEN IF IT IS A PARTIAL ONE!!!  HOW DARE YOU THROW THEM RED, WHITE AND BLUE SOLO CUPS REEKING OF STALE BEER IN THE GARBAGE RECEPTACLE AFTERWARDS TOO... SHAME ON YOU!   TSK, TSK,TSK  (LOL)  AND THOSE FIRE CRACKERS YOU SEEM TO LOVE SETTING ON FIRE AND EXPLODING ALL WEEK LONG UNTIL UNGODLY HOURS EVEN WHEN MANY FREAKED OUT DOGS, VETERANS WITH PTSD AND PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP ARE SUFFERING?  NEWSFLASH PATRIOT: YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN BURNING HUNDREDS OF LITTLE USA FLAGS YOURSELF FOR YEARS!!  THAT GOES ALSO  FOR YOUR BEER CANS, BANDANNAS, THONG BIKINIS AND BOXERS (THE HUMANITY!), PAJAMAS, COUNTRY MUSIC T-SHIRTS, CAR STICKERS, BABY DIAPERS, EVEN YOUR DEBIT AND CREDIT CARDS.   DEAR JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH, THE OUTRAGE... WHAT BLASPHEMY IS THIS?!!  (JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, THE LATTER INTERJECTION IS PURE, UNFILTERED SARCASM).  NOWADAYS I AM DOING THE FACE-PALM AND SHAKING MY HEAD IN DISBELIEF SO HARD AND SO OFTEN MY COGNIZANT, VERBAL  AND MOTOR SKILLS ARE STARTING TO GET AFFECTED.  OKAY?  

     3. I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THE REASON THE ANTHEM WAS CREATED, THE INSPIRATION FOR IT AND STAY OPEN MINDED TO BECOME WISER AND RELEARN OUR HISTORY AS IT HAPPENED, NOT LIKE WHAT WAS CONVENIENTLY LEFT OUT IN OUR SCHOOL BOOKS.  TRY AND DO THIS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF YOU AND FUTURE GENERATIONS, IF WE SURVIVE THE PATH THESE BIG HEADED LOONIES RUNNING NORTH KOREA, AMERICA, RUSSIA AND SAUDI ARABIA, VENEZUELA, AND THE REST ARE LEADING US UP  TO.  THE VERSE WE SING IS BEAUTIFUL, PROUD AND  STRONG BUT THE INSPIRATION FOR IT AND THE STORY BEHIND IT IS HORRIFIC AND SHAMEFUL... THE COMPOSER WAS TAKING GREAT SATISFACTION IN THE DEATHS OF SLAVES THAT HAD FREED THEMSELVES.   IT WAS ABOUT A LAND OF THE FREE, BUT THE FREEDOM WAS FOR THE IMMIGRANT WHITE MEN AND THEIR OFFSPRING ONLY, NOT FOR THE NATIVE AMERICAN WHO IS THE AUTHENTIC ORIGINAL AMERICAN.  THE ONES THAT  WANTED TO HELP THE WHITE MEN SURVIVE IN THEIR NEW WORLD AND SHARE ALL THEY HAD AND IN RETURN WENT THROUGH GENOCIDE AND BECAME VICTIMS OF COUNTLESS HORRORS.  THIS FREEDOM WAS ALSO NOT FOR THE AFRICAN SLAVES THAT WERE BROUGHT HERE AGAINST THEIR WILL OR THEIR DESCENDANTS WHO WERE ALSO TERRORIZED, TORTURED, RAPED AND MURDERED.   AND GENERATION AFTER GENERATION BLACK MEN AND WOMEN HAVE CONTINUED TO SUFFER COUNTLESS ABUSES AND DISCRIMINATION AND DESPICABLE ACTS OF VIOLENCE SO ATROCIOUS, IT EASILY COULD   HAVE LEFT MARKS EMBEDDED DEEPLY IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS LEVEL AND GENETICAL STRANDS .  MANY OTHERS HAVE COME FROM COUNTRIES ALL OVER THE WORLD AND EACH GROUP HAVE BROUGHT THEIR OWN COLOR AND TEXTURE TO THE FABRIC THAT HAS MADE THIS COUNTRY UNIQUE AND SPECIAL.  PUERTO RICANS THAT CAME TO USA AND WORKED IN EVERYTHING AND IN BETWEEN:  FIRST AGRICULTURE, THEN AS SOME BARRIERS WERE BROKEN AND WERE ABLE TO MAKE A LIVING AS POLICEMEN, TEACHERS, TAXI DRIVERS, NASA ENGINEERS.  THE ASIAN ALSO BROUGHT COUNTLESS CONTRIBUTIONS, WORKED IN THE FIELD BUILDING TRAIN TRACKS AND THEN EVERYTHING FROM FOOD SERVICE, LAUNDROMATS THEN TECHNOLOGY, MATH AND SCIENCE AS DID THE IRISH, WHO ALSO HAD SUFFERED A PERIOD OF SLAVERY AND DISCRIMINATION, THE JEWISH COMMUNITY THAT CONTINUES TO BE ATTACKED AS THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG IN THE COUNTRY (WTF?!!).  AND I MEAN THE JEWISH RELIGION, NOT THE FAR-RIGHT ISRAELI LEADERSHIP COMMITTING THE GENOCIDE OF PALESTINIANS.  THE ITALIANS THAT ALSO HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL CULTURE AND WAS DISCRIMINATED AGAINST AND GENERALIZED AS MAFIOSO'S OR DUMB, LAZY,  I COULD GO ON AND ON, THE GREEK, THE HINDU, THE GERMANS.  WE ALL EXPERIENCED A LOT OF THE SAME TRIBULATIONS, BUT NONE AS SEVERE, CONSTANT AND PALPABLE AS THE AFRICAN AMERICAN.  PUERTO RICO WAS SOLD TO USA AND THERE WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE ISLAND THAT RIGHTFULLY PROTESTED BEING FORCED TO CHANGE THEIR WAY OF LIFE...THEY WERE LYNCHED. THEN VIEQUES WAS USED AS A MILITARY TEST SITE LEAVING BEHIND POLLUTION AND SICKNESS,  AND PUERTO RICAN WOMEN WERE USED AS GUINEA PIGS TO TEST BIRTH CONTROL PILLS.   MEXICO? THE SAME, TOOK THEIR LAND GUNS BLAZING AND NOW PEOPLE DARE TELL THEM TO GO HOME WHEN THEY WERE HERE FIRST.  HAWAII, ALSO THE SAME.. GOBBLED UP AND MADE INTO A CARICATURE AND THEIR LANDS PASSED ON GENERATION AFTER GENERATION  STOLEN AND SOLD.  WE ALL LEARNED TO ADAPT AND EMBRACE MOST OF THE CHANGES AND  WE CAN FORGIVE BUT CAN'T FORGET.   WE LOVE THIS COUNTRY DESPITE OF IT ALL, BUT WE ARE STILL WAYS TO GO TO BE RECIPROCATED IN THE SAME MANNER WHICH IS I THINK SO SIMPLE AND GOLLY, GEE... IT’S FREE: RESPECT US, OUR CULTURE, RELIGIONS AND LANGUAGE, AND LET US REALLY BE A PART OF THIS COUNTRY BY LETTING OUR VOICES BE HEARD... AND REALLY LISTEN.    JUST DON'T MAKE UNGODLY THINGS LIKE A SONG AND A FLAG INTO FALSE IDOLS AND LOOK INTO UNITING AND ACCEPTING EACH OTHER AS EQUALS.   CARE ABOUT THE REAL INJUSTICES  PEOPLE ARE LIVING STILL ON THIS DAY AN AGE, TRY TO WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES.   UNDERSTAND THAT THE NEGATIVE AND EVIL DONE IN THIS WORLD WAS MOSTLY DUE TO A MINORITY OF CHARACTERS THAT WERE ABLE TO SNEAK THEMSELVES IN TO THE LEADERSHIP POSITIONS.  THE MONEY TRULY HAS BEEN THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.  IT IS MONEY THAT HAS ALLOWED THESE PEOPLE TO BUY MINIONS TO DO THEIR BIDING, MONEY TO BUILD AND BUY THEIR MUSKETS, RIFLES, CANNONS AND ROCKETS AND THE MILITIA AND MERCENARIES TO DO THEIR BIDING AND DESTROY AND ANNIHILATE EVERYTHING AND ANYONE THAT GETS IN THEIR IN PATH FOR MORE MONEY AND POWER.  INSTILLING FEAR AND USING CUNNING CHARMS, TWISTED LOGIC AND MISINTERPRETATION OF HOLY SCRIPTURES FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS HAVE CONVINCED SO MANY  THAT EVERYTHING THEY DO WILL BENEFIT THEM AT SOME POINT AND THAT IT’S ALL FOR LOVE AND COUNTRY.  THAT IS WHY IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT PEOPLE RESIST, PROTEST, RAISE THEIR FIST, MAKE A STINK, STOMP YOUR FEET...HELL NO,  WE NEED TO BECOME WISER AND OPEN OUR EYES WIDER.  BECAUSE I AM TIRED OF HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.  BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALL OF US LOOKING AROUND, SIDE TO SIDE, PLACING BLAME ON EACH OTHER  INSTEAD OF LOOKING UP AT THEM, UNITING AND  HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE.  I AM WOKE AS FUCK... I PRAY MORE PEOPLE REALIZE THIS AND BECOME PART OF A SOLUTION BEFORE WE ALL PERISH.  LET US NOT FALL PREY TO WHAT REALLY IS GOING ON...  AGAIN, OPEN YOUR EYES WIDE, LISTEN, REALLY LISTEN.  DON'T BE LAZY AND RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH.  MAYBE THEN YOU'LL WILL JOIN US, THE ONES THAT ARE

#WOKEASFUCK

MY APOLOGIES FOR THE CRASSNESS OF THE  AFOREMENTIONED COLLOQUIALISM OR, URBAN LINGUISTICS, BUT IT MEANS REACHING A SUPERLATIVE SCALE OF AWARENESS IN THIS GENERATION, AND I PERSONALLY KIND OF DIG IT. BUT I DIGRESS...  THE BAD ONES ARE A MINORITY STILL, BUT THE EVIL IS SPREADING FASTER, AND AS WE ARE BECOMING A RETROGRADE SOCIETY IN MANY WAYS, EVEN WITH ALL THESE AMAZING TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGHS OF THIS CENTURY, THEY ARE PUTTING BLINDERS ON THE INNOCENT, ON THE IGNORANT AND CLOSE MINDED AND THEY ARE RECRUITING MINIONS THAT MORE THAN EVER  FOLLOW THEM NOT OUT OF FEAR OR BECAUSE OF POVERTY BUT BECAUSE OF GREED AND THE EVIL SATISFACTION THEY GET FROM CONTROLLING AND HURTING OTHERS AND HAVE CONVENIENTLY FOUND A SOULLESS LEADER AFTER THEIR OWN DARK HEARTS.   

SCHOOLS SHOULD HAVE HISTORY CLASSES THAT TEACH MORE IN A GLOBAL PERSPECTIVE, EMPHASIZING ON EVERYBODY'S STRUGGLES, CONTRIBUTIONS AND TRIUMPHS AND HOW MUCH WE ARE ALL THE SAME AND OWE SO MUCH TO EACH OTHER.  SADLY WE ARE BASICALLY IN A PLATEAU. STUCK,  AS IN MANY  WAYS BEING UNDER THE SAME SOCIETAL STANDARDS THAT WE WERE IN THOUSANDS YEARS AGO. THE KING, THE CLERGY AND THE NOBLES... AND WE THE THE PEOPLE? WERE ARE THE PEONS, PLEBEIANS, THEIR SLAVE LABOR, COURTESANS, PERFORMERS AND BUFFOONS.  ONLY DIFFERENCE IS IN MODERN TIMES? THE NOBLES, WHICH ARE THE 1% ELITE AND THE CORPORATIONS ARE MORE POWERFUL AND IN CHARGE OF THE FATE OF THE COUNTRY THAN THE KING HIMSELF.  A KING THAT IS BROUGHT TO POWER NOT BY RIGHT OF BIRTH BUT BY THE NOBLES'  MONETARY DONATIONS TO THEIR POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS AND PROMISE OF FUTURE COUNTLESS RICHES IF THEY  STAY IN LINE AND THEIR BIDDING. REPUBLICAN LEADERS HIGHLY COMPLIANT WITH THEIR PATHOLOGICAL ALIENATION FROM REALITY OUTSIDE OF THEIR GREED FOR MONEY, POWER AND CONTROL IS A VERY COMPLIANT PUPPET.  

THE REPUBLICAN ALWAYS THE MASTER THAT ONLY THROWS THE DOG THE BONE ONLY AFTER THEY SUCKED OUT EVERY BIT AND MORSEL DOWN TO THE MARROW.  THE DEMOCRAT POLITICIANS WERE MORE OF A OPEN INCLUSIVE IDEOLOGIST BUT LATELY FALLEN VICTIM TO THAT CORPORATE DONOR SEDUCTION OF GREED.  SADLY MANY PEONS RECENTLY FAILED TO REALIZE THAT STILL THIS WAS THE LESSER EVIL AS THIS MASTER MAY STILL LEAVE ONLY THE BONE BUT IT AT LEAST WILL HAVE THE CARTILAGE AND SOME MEAT ON IT AND UNLIKE THE REPUBLICAN MASTER, IF YOU STAR CHOKING THE BONE THEY WILL TAKE YOU TO THE VET.  REPUBLICAN MASTER THROWS YOU IN THE BAG BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR LAST BREATH AND DRIVES BY A FAST FOOD RESTAURANT WERE HE DISPOSES OF THE BAG SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BOTHER WITH DIGGING A HOLE IN THE YARD AND RUIN THEIR MANICURED LAWN OR DEAL WITH THE STENCH OF YOUR ROTTING BODY.  THAT'S WHY MY INCLINATION IS LIBERAL PROGRESSIVE.  I REALIZE MANY THINK LIBERAL MASTER WILL JUST GO CRAZY THROWING THE WHOLE CHICKENS TO THE DOGS, TO THE POINT THEY RUN OUT OF CHICKENS, BUT I'M CONFIDENT THEY CAN FIND A WAY TO FIGURE IT OUT PLUS THEY WILL SET UP FOR YEARLY WELLNESS CHECK UP AT THE VETS, AND GET US TREATS LIKE A BETTER EDUCATION SYSTEM, FREE COLLEGE AND MORE.  LIBERAL /PROGRESSIVE /INDEPENDENT MASTER AFTER ALL BELIEVES IN SOMETHING CALLED SCIENCE AND COMPLETE AND FAIR EQUALITY AND THOSE TWO THING ARE ESSENTIAL TO BREAK THIS CORRUPTED MOLD.   THE CLERY? THAT IS ANOTHER ISSUE TO BE ADDRESSED SEPARATELY BECAUSE EVEN JESUS ADVOCATED FOR SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, THEY WANTED IN  DIBS ON THE LOOT AND MAINTAINING THE POWER OVER THE PEOPLE., BECOMING AND UNHOLY TRIFECTA OF EVIL TYRANNY AND GREED.

IN CLOSING, SPECIALLY AFTER THAT EXTREMELY WEIRD AND RANDOM "THROW THE DOG A BONE' ANALOGY...DON'T LET THEM CONTINUE TO KEEP US BLINDED BY THE PROPAGANDIST MEDIA LIKE FOX NEWS, ALL THE BRAINWASHING POLITICIANS, THE ZOMBIE TRANCE INDUCING WORLDWIDE WEB AND ALL THE FALSEHOODS SURROUNDING US AS WE ARE PINNED AGAINST EACH OTHER  OVER OUR DIFFERENCES OF CULTURE, RELIGION, SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND RACE.  THEY HAVE US RUNNING AROUND LIKE CHICKENS (GEE! AGAIN WITH THE FUCKING CHICKENS) WITH OUR HEADS CUT-OFF SO WE DON'T FIGURE IT OUT AND COME TO STORM THEIR CASTLES!

[greysfanpage388]

Elevator Hug - part 2

Hey guys- this is the second part of ‘Elevator Hug’.

Part 1 can be found here:

http://ailingnoor.tumblr.com/post/160177931956/elevator-hug

Again, thank you to the amazing @jia911 for helping me to proofread!! <3

Disclaimer:  This is written before 13x22 airs ;)

The following day turned out to be challenging for Amelia. She and Alex were working on a 10 year old boy who had a brain tumor and needed surgery to remove the tumor. The problem was the boy’s father who didn’t believe in surgery. He strongly refused the surgery to be performed on his son, and ended up having a heated argument with Alex. The boy’s parents refused to sign the consent for the surgery- much to Alex and Amelia’s dismay.

But there was nothing they could do about it, as it was against the rules to operate on a patient against the parent or guardian’s wishes.

As Amelia stood at the nurses’ counter outside the boy’s room, watching the weak looking boy and his parents from a distance, she shook her head sadly. She knew at the rate the tumor was growing- the boy wouldn’t have long to live. The parents might regret their decision when the boy dies. There was no grief like of a parent who had lost their child. She knew that. She had experienced it before, and it was like a part of her heart was ripped apart from her, leaving a permanent hole that could never be filled.

She stood staring at the family- wondering whether there was anything else she could do to help the boy. Maybe she could device a plan with Alex to push the boy into surgery without the parents’ consent. And risk getting fired. Was that worth it?

As she was lost in her thoughts, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to come face to face with Alex Karev.

‘ I wish there’s something more we could do to help him.’ she sighed as she turned back to the room to look at the family.

‘ There’s nothing we can do.’ said Alex sadly. ‘ We’ve already explained the risks of not performing the surgery, which included death. They fully understood the consequences of their decision and even signed the AOR form. I even almost got into a fight with the father to prove my point. The last thing I want is to get into a fist fight with a patient’s father and put my career in jeopardy again.

‘ I’m just thinking about how the parents will feel when the boy is gone.’ said Amelia, her voice now starting to quiver. ‘ Because I know how it feels to lose a child.’

‘ I know.’ Alex said, nodding his head solemnly. He could recall very vividly every single word Amelia said to him in the attending lounge a couple of months ago. She had poured out her entire heart and soul to him, telling him about her baby who died of anencephaly. His heart broke for her, he had seen several newborns with the condition and they never lasted longer than an hour.

‘ I still don’t understand - how can a parent make a decision which would ultimately lead to their child’s death without feeling remorse about it?’ Amelia asked in a harsh whisper, shaking her head. She knew that her emotions were getting the best of her again. Pregnancy hormones certainly didn’t help either.

‘ Well, as doctors we do the best we can.’ Alex explained rationally. ‘ We inform them of the risk and benefits of each procedure and the consequences not performing the procedure, but ultimately, the patients or family members are the ones who decide.’ he added.

‘I know.’ Amelia nodded her head in understanding.

‘ Are you ok?’ Alex asked when he noticed her face was scrunched.

‘ I just- I know I would never make a decision that would cause harm to my child.’ she said in a shaky voice.

‘ You still miss him, don’t you?’ Alex pointed out as she nodded.

‘ Have you talked to Owen about this?’ Alex asked. ‘ I’m not one to meddle in other people’s affairs- but from what I can see - he really loves you and cares for you, Amelia. I noticed he hasn’t been himself lately since you both were staying apart. You should talk to him, open up to him about how you feel. Tell him exactly what you told me that day in the attendings’ lounge.

‘ I have.’ said Amelia. ‘ Last night- I told him everything about the baby, and it felt good to open up to him. It was like a huge burden was lifted from my chest. But I have not properly apologized to him or explained the reason why I left.’

‘ Go home, Amelia.’ Alex ordered in a gentle tone. ‘ There’s nothing much you can do by staying here, I don’t think the parents are going to change their minds overnight. I'm bringing Arizona to speak to the parents again, and if they still don’t change their minds, we’ll device a plan tomorrow to get him into surgery ok? For now, get some rest first. Go home to Owen.’

Amelia nodded, knowing that Alex had a point.

‘ Ok.’ she said softly. ‘ I will. Please do update me on any progress.’

‘ I will.’ said Alex earnestly. ‘ Now go.’

______________________________________________________________

By the time Amelia reached home, she was exhausted. The case had drained the energy out of her.

She had dropped by Meredith’s right after work to collect her clothes and belongings.

She had to admit- it felt nice to finally be home again after a few months. Granted, she had a comfortable bed in Meredith’s place and enjoyed the company of her sisters, nieces and nephew, but it wasn’t the same as coming home to Owen.

Owen was reading a journal as Amelia hopped onto the bed, freshly showered.

A moment of silence passed between them. Although the night before,

Amelia had told Owen about the reason why she was afraid to have more babies and told him all about her Unicorn baby, she knew things weren’t totally mended yet between them. She knew deep down inside he was still mad at her for running away from him like that. After all, he had done nothing wrong to deserve that treatment from her.

She glanced at him as he pretended to be preoccupied with his journal, his eyebrows furrowed the way they always did when he was deeply concentrating on a task. Seeing him frown always turned her on. But not when she knew that she might have something to do with this facial expression of his.

Scooting closer to Owen, she linked her arm under his and leaned her head on his arm.

Instinctively, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Although he was still mad at her for leaving him, he missed her tender touch so much. He could sniff the vanilla scent of her hair which he missed so much. As she leaned against him and looked at him with those pleading blue eyes, the eyes he couldn’t say no to, he knew he couldn’t resist.

‘ Owen, I’m sorry.’ she apologized softly.

‘ Sorry for what?’ Owen asked, pretending to be puzzled as he turned to look at her.

Amelia hit him playfully on the arm.

‘ Owen! You know jolly well what I mean. I’m so sorry for running away from you like that. ‘ she explained.

‘ You left with just a simple note, asking me not to blame myself. Of course I was going to blame myself, Amelia.’ said Owen, trying his best to keep an even tone in his voice. ‘ For the entire month after you left, I keep asking myself every night as I lay alone in our bed and stared at your empty side of the bed what had I done wrong. All I did was say that I wanted to start a family, something which you also agreed on. Which was why I was so confused when you suddenly yelled at my face a few weeks later saying you didn’t want a baby. What made you change your mind so abruptly?’ Owen asked Amelia as he cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up so they were both looking at each other in the eye.

He knew that when he did that, she couldn’t escape his gaze.

‘ I told you I was scared.’ Amelia admitted. ‘ At first, when we were talking about starting a family, I was excited to be starting a family with you. There’s no one else I would rather start a family with. Then a few weeks after that, I was initially so excited when I missed my period and realized that I might be pregnant. I was so excited- that I went around the hospital telling close friends that I was pregnant. I was even plotting on the best possible way to tell you the good news.Then when I asked Meredith how she told Derek- she noncholantly answered that when she was pregnant with Ellis- she didn’t need to tell Derek because he was dead. That was when the memories of the past came back to haunt me. The last time I was pregnant- I didn’t need to tell the father too, because he was dead.’ tears started pooling in her eyes at the memory of her waking up that morning and shaking Ryan’s lifeless body , hoping against all odds that he was just asleep.

‘ And then, just when I thought he had left a part of him in me- the universe had to take away my baby too.’ she added.

‘ There’s no need to be scared, Amelia.’ Owen whispered, at loss of words to say to her. He took her hands in his as a gesture of comfort.

‘ One day when I was 5.’ Amelia continued, ‘ I was in the store room of my dad’s convenience store with Derek. I was happily playing with 2 pennies that my dad gave me. Then 2 men entered in the store. I thought they were just regular customers coming in to buy some stuff. Shortly after , I could hear them loudly demanding something from my dad. Then I could hear the sound of a gun shot piercing through the air. I can still hear it now. I saw my dad lying in a pool of his own blood. I wanted to scream and run over to him, but Derek stopped me, covering my mouth and holding me tight. Had he not done so, I would’ve been shot as well. That was the day my entire life changed.’ she said as her eyes watered.

Owen placed an arm around her shoulder, knowing that it would give her some comfort as he silently urged her to continue.

‘ I wasn’t the same cheerful little girl anymore. Nobody ever laughed or smiled anymore in my family and my entire family walked on eggshells around me. The only person I could talk to was Derek. So I did the only thing I knew- escape. I turned to drugs and alcohol to run away from the pain I was feeling. I even took Derek’s car for a joyride once and crashed it and then overdosed, because I thought that it would take away the pain. It only lead to Derek performing CPR on me to save my life.’

Owen winced at the thought of Amelia almost losing her life before. She wouldn’t have come into his life had Derek not saved her.

‘After graduation and college- I thought I was fine for a while. I studied hard and graduated from Harvard Medical School. I floated from city to city, trying to make a fresh new start. I loved L.A. and I adored my friends there. Then I met Ryan. It was great while it lasted, we both shared our love for drugs, we enjoyed getting high together. We even planned a future together.’ Amelia continued.

She looked up at Owen and noticed a slightly hurt expression on his face. However he silently nodded, urging her to continue.

‘ Then the universe had to take him away from me. Not only that, it took away our baby as well.’ she continued.

‘ Then when I thought I was healed, there came James. He was a nice, decent guy and all that- we were even engaged to be married.’ Amelia now had a faraway look in her eyes. ‘ But then my fear of losing another man I loved overtook me and I did the only thing I knew- I ran.’

‘ And then Derek died.’ she said softly. ‘ I lost my only brother and closest family member. And I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.’ she said bitterly, still feeling some resentment towards Meredith for not letting her say goodbye to Derek.

‘ And now, you came into my life. You- are just different, Owen.’ said Amelia. ‘ I’ve never met such a kind, caring, compassionate, loyal and honest person like you. You show so much passion and dedication in your work, you can be so firm and strict when the need be, but so tender and loving the next. You are so caring and loving towards me, Owen.’ she said looking up to his eyes and seeing him gazing down lovingly at her.

‘ And that scared me. Because you’re too perfect, Owen. There’s no such thing as perfect in my life.’ Amelia admitted.

Owen shook his head wordlessly at her admission. No, he wasn’t perfect, they had this conversation before.

‘ And when you suggested that we start a family, I was scared Owen, scared that our baby would be born anencephalic and we would lose the baby too. And then you would leave me. So I did what I knew best…. I ran. And when I found out that I’m pregnant again….. I just broke down. I didn’t know what to do Owen. I didn’t want to lose another baby.’ Amelia continued.

She looked up at Owen again to meet his eyes.

His eyes showed a flash of hurt and confusion in them.

‘ But why do you need to run? You can always talk to me. I’ll be there for you.I told you I would never leave you, no matter what.’

‘ You don’t get it, Owen.’ said Amelia exasperatedly as she looked up at him with sad blue eyes. . ‘ How can I trust you not to leave when every man I’ve ever loved had left me? My dad, Ryan, my baby, Derek…..’

‘ Do not add me into your list ok?’ Owen said gently but firmly as he tilted her face up to look at his so their eyes met. ‘ Because I’m not going anywhere.’ he said with a reassuring tone in his voice.

‘ You’d better not.’ Amelia half joked as she flashed him a teary smile.

‘ No matter how many times you ask, my answer will be the same.’ said Owen, an earnest tone in his voice. ‘I would never leave you, Amelia.’

‘ Ok.’ Amelia nodded, as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and leaned onto Owen- feeling the comfort of his heart beating against her chest.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, as his other hand slowly moved to cover her tiny bump where their baby was safely nestled inside.

As they lay there, Amelia began telling Owen about her and Alex’s patient, how his parents wouldn’t let them operate on him, and how they were planning  to push him into an OR tomorrow against the parent’s wishes. Owen listened attentively, feeling sorry for the patient and feeling proud of her.

Amelia then began expressing her concern again about the ultrasound appointment the following day and how she hoped this baby would be healthy because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing another baby.

And again, Owen reassured her, telling her that he would be with her every step of the way. She dozed off in his arms, knowing it was the safest place to be.

__________________________________________________________

At 9:30 am sharp the following day- Owen and Amelia sat in the waiting room of the antenatal clinic, awaiting their turn.

 Amelia’s heart was beating fast. This was it. She was going to find out whether the baby she was carrying- her and Owen’s baby- was healthy or not. Chances were, the baby was healthy. Or so she hoped. But what if the baby was not? What if she was the unlucky less than 5% who had another anencephalic child? The universe had it’s way of conspiring against her after all.

She looked around the waiting room full of expectant mothers. Some came alone, some were sitting with their partners or spouses. Some had a bored look on their faces as if they would rather be anywhere but there. Others sported happy looks- excited at the prospect of seeing their baby.

Her legs shook as she pretended to occupy herself with her phone to pass time. She felt a strong warm hand cover hers beside her, Owen had noticed her nervousness. He held her hands in his as a sign of silent support as they continued waiting for their turn.

It might have been just minutes, but it seemed like eternity for the expectant couple before Arizona called them into her room.

‘ Hey’ she greeted them, showing her trademark cheerful smile. ‘ So you’re here for the detailed scan huh?’

‘ Yes, to see whether this baby has a head or not.’ said Amelia noncholantly.

‘ Ooh….I’m sorry. I forget my filter when I’m nervous.’ she chuckled as Owen and Arizona exchanged glances at each other. They both knew about her first pregnancy.

Seeing how nervous Amelia looked, Arizona gently asked her friend all the routine Obstetric questions and performed the normal Obstetrics physical examination. Besides morning sickness, Amelia was doing well, with normal weight gain, blood pressure and blood sugar. She was taking her prenatal vitamins regularly, something she knew she should if she were to ensure normal fetal development. Arizona again reassured Amelia that the chance of a recurrence of anencephaly was low, less than 5%. Amelia nodded, she knew that fact already, but it wasn’t going to fully reassure her.

‘ So are you guys ready to see your baby?’ Arizona asked once Amelia was lying on the examination bed.

Amelia didn’t reply as she turned her head away from the scan machine.

Owen squeezed Amelia’s hand wordlessly as he exchanged a glance with Arizona. They both knew why Amelia was afraid of looking at the machine and their hearts broke for her.

Arizona sincerely hoped that this baby would be healthy. She adored the couple and she wished them only happiness.

Silence filled the room as Arizona entered Amelia’s details into the machine. Amelia still had her head turned away from the machine and Owen was still holding her hand.

‘ Ok, this will feel a little cold,’ Arizona warned as she squeezed the gel on Amelia’s stomach. Amelia shuddered in reflex. She didn’t know if it was from the cold of the gel or due to her nervousness.

Arizona began manipulating the ultrasound probe around Amelia’s lower abdomen as the trio remained silent. Arizona was frowning in concentration, fully focused on obtaining a clear image of the fetus. She adjusted the settings as she continued manipulating the probe. Owen was staring at the ultrasound screen, excited to be seeing his baby. His heart was pounding in anticipation. He had been waiting for this his whole life- seeing his own child for the first time. He tried to hide his excitement though, for the sake of his wife.

Amelia meanwhile, still had her head turned away from the screen.

She could still recall the the first ultrasound she had during her first pregnancy. She had been excited to meet her and Ryan’s baby. But when she saw the look on Addison’s face, she immediately knew that something was wrong with the baby. And when Addison broke the news that the baby was anencephalic- her whole world crumbled.

 Therefore she decided that she would not look at the screen, because if she did, what would appear on the screen would be another anencephalic baby. She also didn’t dare to look at Arizona’s face because if she did, she would see the same expression on Arizona’s face as she broke the news that she had another brainless baby. She wasn’t even going to look at Owen’s face, because she couldn’t bear to see the disappointed look on Owen’s face at Arizona’s words.

 Instead, her head still turned away from the screen, she sent up a prayer to the powers above to let this baby be healthy. She really couldn’t bear to think of what she would do should the baby have any abnormalities. Should she abort the baby this time? Owen squeezed her hand again, reminding her that he was there by her side this time. This time, she wasn’t alone.

‘ Ah ha! There it is!’ Arizona exclaimed as Owen turned his attention back to the screen.

‘ Here is your baby.’  Arizona pointed out. ‘ 2 hands, 2 legs, a stomach, and ……a head.’ she added, emphasizing on the word head.

Owen’s face broke out into a wide smile. He couldn’t believe it, it was his baby he was looking at , a new being that he and Amelia had created together. He thought their baby was perfect and the most beautiful baby ever.

Amelia’s head was still turned away from the screen. She didn’t want to believe what Arizona was saying. It was too good to be true.

‘ Amelia look.’ he whispered, squeezing her hand, reassuring her. ‘ Look at our baby, he or she is perfect.’ he continued whispering into her ear, stroking her hair gently.

‘ It’s sucking it’s thumb now.’ Arizona announced in a cheerful voice.  ‘ Unfortunately it’s legs are crossed so I can’t tell the gender. But everything seems fine.’ she said.

Arizona began the fetal measurements as Owen held Amelia’s hand and continued stroking her hair.

‘ Yep- the baby is growing well, the measurements are at the normal percentiles.’ Arizona said, smiling at the couple.

‘ Amelia- look at our baby.’ Owen whispered into her ear again.

 Amelia finally gathered the courage to turn her head to face the screen.

There it was, her and Owen’s baby- with a head, a stomach, 2 hands and 2 legs and sucking its thumb. It was perfect.

Tears formed in her eyes. Her baby had a head!!

‘ The head. Owen, our baby has a head!’ Amelia proclaimed, looking up at Owen with a teary smile. This baby had a head, unlike her previous baby. She stared at the image of her baby on the screen for a few long moments, making sure that Arizona wasn’t lying and that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. She closed and opened her eyes again. Owen and Arizona were still standing at the bedside, both smiling widely. And yes, the baby still had a head.

An immense sense of relief overtook her as she sobbed with joy, tears running down her cheeks. She cried in Owen’s arms, releasing all the anxiety and fear she had kept inside prior to this appointment. She felt a huge burden being lifted off her shoulders.

‘ Our baby has a head.’ Owen repeated happily, kissing the top of her head as he hugged her, letting her continue sobbing in his arms, wetting his labcoat. He would still love her and their baby so much had this baby not have a head, but seeing her so happy and relieved made him happy too.

Arizona felt warmth in her heart upon watching the couple rejoice at the wonderful news. She wished only good things for them both. She let them both stay in that position for a while before clearing her throat.

‘ Wanna hear the heartbeat?’ she asked, as Amelia gave her a watery smile. The couple nodded eagerly.

She adjusted the scan settings, and soon the comforting ‘ lub dub’ sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the scan room.

‘ Well your baby has a strong heartbeat.’ Arizona confirmed, smiling. ‘ Your baby seems fine and healthy.’

Amelia felt a fresh wave of tears rolling down her cheeks as Owen hugged her tight.

‘ You hear that? Our baby is fine and healthy.’ Owen said softly, as he kissed her on the top of her head.

Amelia looked up at him as their eyes met. She flashed him a teary smile.

‘ Yes, our baby is fine and healthy.’ she repeated, letting it sink in. She and Owen were going to have a healthy baby!

Arizona printed out the ultrasound picture and passed it to the couple, congratulating them on the good news.

She walked out of the room, letting them have some privacy.

 ______________________________________________________________

Later that night, they laid down in bed, studying the ultrasound picture for the umpteenth time. Owen had his arms wrapped around Amelia as they both admired their baby’s perfect features, studying every single detail of the ultrasound image.

‘ I still can’t believe that we made this image of perfection.’ Owen whispered as he kissed the top of Amelia’s head.

‘ I still can’t believe- this baby actually has a head.’ said Amelia, smiling at the image.

‘ I told you our baby will be healthy. Didn’t I say so? You have to trust me from now onwards.’ Owen pointed out, winking at her.

Amelia gave him playful jab on the elbow.

‘ Alright sir, I’ll believe you from now on.’ she relented as they both chuckled.

‘ But seriously Amelia, you have to know that I’ll love you and this baby no matter what. I’ll still love you both even if this baby had any abnormality. I think it’s important for you to know that.’ said Owen earnestly pulled his wife closer to him.

She looked up at him, studying his honest expression.

‘ Ok.’ she nodded, realizing that she should be thankful to be married to such an amazing man.

They both continued staring at the ultrasound image again, unable to get enough of seeing their baby.

‘ Do you think it’s a boy or girl?’ Amelia asked as she looked up at Owen.

‘ Well, what do you think? I thought mothers know best.’ he said, smiling at her. ‘I really don’t mind either way, although I would love a daughter who looks like you.’ he added.

Amelia smiled, showing her dimples which he hoped their daughter would inherit.

‘ Well, I don’t mind either way too. I just want a healthy baby.’ she admitted.

They snuggled close to each other on the bed, as Owen placed his hand on the slight buldge in Amelia’s lower abdomen where their baby lay. Amelia placed her hand on top of his as they savored the feel of their precious, perfect baby nestled safely inside.

For the first time since she was 5 years old, Amelia finally felt pure joy and freedom from her past. Her dad, Ryan, Derek, and unicorn baby were all in her past, but Owen and their baby were her future. And the future was great.

Comments, reviews, reblogs and messages are very much appreciated. I would really love to know what you guys think!