#*says I'll go to bed at midnight* *still awake and has a lil breakdown at 3:30* | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liebelesbe · 6 months

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I think the reason I'm still so weird about my lesbianism irl is because I came out before I was ready. I told myself I should just "get it over with", but it feels like somebody reached inside of me and pulled out some important organ that to this day feels like an open wound.

#the somebody being me of course because I decided myself that i should come out to my family #*rips out my heart* haha ouch why does this hurt?#*six years pass* ummm why does this still hurt?? :/#doddie redet #my coming out wasn't even that terrible!! it wasn't good but it wasn't 'still scared as hell six years later' bad!!#yes they cried yes my mom said 'she always knew' yes my dad asked how long I've known and that they both 'have to get used to it'#but like why can't I even think about telling anyone irl that I'm gay without getting nauseous #I was able to do it the first time even though the thought made me nauseous to be fair. but now it feels worse i think #I CAME OUT AROUND A TIME WHERE WHEN I WAS NERVOUS I WOULD CALM MYSELF DOWN WITH 'AT LEAST I'M A LESBIAN'#WHAT HAPPENED TO MEEEEE #ok sorry I'm done #*says I'll go to bed at midnight* *still awake and has a lil breakdown at 3:30*

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