#-typicalstory- will be missed

[yourdeviceforgood]

Wordvomit retrospective ahead:

When I was in school, primarily younger years (4th-7th grade, really) I was deeply, DEEPLY involved in a small section of the Wattpad roleplay community. First thing to address is that, yes, I lied about my age like it was my job. I was good at it, but then again, that's what everybody says. Maybe nobody called me out for it because they liked me, not because I was a master sleuth at the age of eleven.

For a few years, my big thing was THE SELECTION! Spoiler, I never read the books, but everyone always thought that I did because of how I would write. I am the "read the dictionary for fun" kind of autistic, which lead me to become a "read the dictionary for fun" kind of roleplayer. Of course, that took me a long while. But my final REAL roleplay, Nana, felt like some kind of monumental era for me. Literate, descriptive, I became one hell of a writer because of these roleplays. Hell, even as I look back now (four years later? almost five?) that writing, while flawed, laid a groundwork for my future growth. I created OCs that still exist in my mind and, on the rare occasion, in my newer writing.

Socially, Wattpad was incredibly important to me. At a time where I had few-to-no friends, I connected with people from all around the world. At my most suicidal, I shared a common goal with people that I loved: Tell the story. Amber, T.K, these are aliases that I cannot think about without separating them from this pivotal time of my youth. I am almost bitter that I lied about my age when, in some cases, my peers were only two years my senior. Because of my zeal to fit in, I've put myself in a place where I can no longer share my life with these people.

Neither of us use the platform any more. Not only because it has changed, but because we've changed to. I wish I could tell Summer that I still, to this day, use ideas from her beautifully unique plot in my own writing, or to tell her sister that a piece I wrote following Santiago and Remy won me a state award. I wish Amber knew how much she meant to me, a young kid who couldn't communicate properly unless it was through the comment sections of her books.

I love these people. I miss them dearly, even though I know they aren't too far away. I just wish they knew me, and not my username. I have so much more to say. I may just dump it all here.