#. 💕 ; incorrect transformers mtmte quotes

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Kup: Okay, but what is updog?

Swerve: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Rung: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Rose: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Whirl: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Rodimus: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Rung: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Swerve: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Kup: What’s a henway??

Rodimus: Oh, about five pounds.

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Rose: 'Prettiest Smile'

Rung: 'Nicest Personality'

Kup: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Swerve: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Swerve: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Rodimus: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Kup: Actually I did the math, Swerve would have $225, not $0.15.

Swerve: Fam I’m right here....

Rung: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Rodimus: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Rung: Sorry I only have a dollar

Rodimus: :(

Kup: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Swerve would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Rung: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Kup: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Rose: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Swerve: Apply juice to what

Whirl: Directly to the forehead

Kup: Great chat everyone

[pleasantspark]

Rung: Just be yourself.

Kup: 'Be myself'? Rung, I have one day to win Rose over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Rodimus: Couple weeks.

Swerve: Six months.

Whirl: Jury’s still out.

Kup: See, Rung?

Kup: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

[pleasantspark]

*The squad right before Rose's wedding*

Kup: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Swerve: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Rung: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Whirl: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Rodimus, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Kup: Nope, absolutely not.

Rung: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Swerve: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Rose: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Whirl: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

[pleasantspark]

*The squad is over at Rodimus's house*

Kup: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Rodimus: ... N-No...

Rodimus, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Kup, motioning to his kitchen: Three, I thought!

Swerve: I see a-

Rodimus, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Kup: Oh, well I-

Rodimus: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Rodimus, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Rung: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Rose: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Rodimus: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Rodimus: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Rodimus, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Rodimus: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Whirl, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Rodimus:

Kup: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Rodimus:

Rodimus, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: Croissants: dropped

Kup: Road: works ahead

Swerve: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Rung: Shavacado: fre

Rose: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Whirl:

Whirl, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

[pleasantspark]

Whirl: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Rose: >:O language

Swerve: Yeah watch your fucking language

Rodimus: OKAY WHO TAUGHT SWERVE THE FUCK WORD?

Kup: 'The fuck word'.

Rung: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Swerve: Oh my god they censored it

Rodimus: Say fuck, Rung.

Swerve: Do it, Rung. Say fuck.

[pleasantspark]

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Rodimus: Thanks fam!

Kup: oh no

Swerve: *cries* I love you too

Rose: Sounds fake but okay

Rung: *A flustered mess*

Whirl: can i get a refund

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Swerve: Several traffic violations.

Rose: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Kup: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Rung: Also, that’s not our car.

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Swerve: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Rose: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Kup: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Rung: My moral code, is that you?

Rodimus:

Rodimus: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

[pleasantspark]

'Can I copy the homework?'

Rung: I can help you with it!

Kup: Yeah, sure.

Swerve: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Rodimus: lol nope.

Rose: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Whirl: *Read 5:55pm*

[pleasantspark]

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Kup: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Rodimus: ...I did. I broke it.

Kup: No. No you didn't. Swerve?

Swerve: Don't look at me. Look at Rung.

Rung: What?! I didn't break it.

Swerve: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Rung: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Swerve: Suspicious.

Rung: No, it's not!

Rose: If it matters, probably not, but Whirl was the last one to use it.

Whirl: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Rose: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Whirl: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Rose!

Rodimus: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Kup.

Kup: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Rose: Kup... Swerve's been awfully quiet.

Swerve: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Kup, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Kup: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Kup:

Kup: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: We need to distract these guys

Kup: Leave it to me

Kup: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Swerve, Whirl, and Rose: *Immediately begin arguing*

Rung, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

[pleasantspark]

Rodimus: You're a loose cannon, Swerve.

Swerve: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Rose: I think you play by your own rules.

Kup: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.

Rodimus: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Swerve: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Rung is a loose cannon.

Rung: *smashes a chair*