#.: events - seraphiism’23

[monocaelia]

fragile.

' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. ' - vita sackville west

in which you really don't want to care about him and his careless attitude, but you always find yourself coming back to him. always. feat. diluc ragnvindr & gn!reader w.c : 5k warnings : childhood friends to lovers, diluc lore spoilers, minor angst but ends w fluff, diluc ragnvindr. note : happy new year! sorry for the delay hehe, but this is for @seraphiism's 2023 collab event !! please support the other authors and enjoy the fic ^^

your mother had always instructed you to stay close to her side, to never stray far away from her lest you find yourself in trouble with the master of the winery or the other servants working the orchards and tending to the land of the estate.

but with a beautiful land of ripe grapes and friendly staff greeting you as you rush past them, how could you ever just sit still beside your mother as she did her job around the winery?

the late summer breeze rushes past your face as you weave through the wooden stakes holding the wiry vines of grapes above you. the warm sun rays heat your skin as you leap over the small rocks that litter the passage leading into the main area of the ragnvindr estate. the wind whispers in your ear, making you grin as your little legs take you wherever it guides you.

you feel free, the wind pushing past your wings to lead you to your newest adventure around the manor.

your feet land firmly on the grounds behind the manor when you hear the gentle sniffles coming from behind a couple of barrels. despite your mother's warnings echoing in your head, you take gentle steps towards the sound as curiosity takes over.

you're not expecting to see a young boy with fiery red hair and matching eyes that hold the warmest, flickering fire glaring up at you with tears at the corner of his eyes and holding a bleeding knee.

"...are you okay?" you ask, kneeling down beside him. you begin to frown when he pulls his knee away from you and his glare deepens.

"i don't need your help," the young boy hisses at you and you roll your eyes.

"really? you don't need my help even though you're crying in a corner all by yourself?" you scoff at him. he doesn't say anything in retaliation and you take it as an okay for you to help him.

you pull a handkerchief from your pocket; nothing too fancy as your family couldn't afford the finest silks like the nobles could. it's cotton, white, and had a simple design of a little sparrow emroidered in the corner.

"i don't have any bandages on me," you mumble softly. your little fingers gently wrap the handkerchief around the young boy's knee several times before tying a small knot on it. without even blinking, you lean down to kiss the wounded knee.

"what are you doing?!" the young boy exclaims, yanking his knee away.

"kissing it better," you say as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "my mother always does that when i get hurt. she says it takes the pain away and makes it heal faster."

"that's stupid," the boy mumbles with a glare.

"says the one who tripped and fell and hurt himself," you argue back. you stick your tongue out when the boy shouts out a 'hey!' and roll your eyes.

"who are you and what are you doing here anyways?" you ask the young boy, kneeling beside him once more. he's still glaring at you, but it's less hostile than it was a few moments ago. "my mom said strangers aren't allowed to be here."

the young boys eyes are red, vibrantly so. the life in them burn brightly, reminding you of a fire as it flickers with warmth and a promise of a brighter tomorrow. like the hearth of a fireplace, the young boy seems to be the incarnate of warmth itself with the way he's filled with the flame of life.

"i live here, dummy," he quips back at you with a frown and your eyes widen.

"really? i've never seen you around, and i've been everywhere on this estate," you reply, bringing your thumb and forefinger to your chin as you remain deep in thought. truly, the only people you've managed to catch were all adults working for the master of this winery. never once have you seen a kid running along.

with a bright smile of your own, you lean towards the young boy. "we should be friends! since i don't know anyone else to play with here, we can play!"

the boy looks you up and down with furrowed brows, but he slowly nods. "...okay," he mumbles and you grin brighter.

"great! what's your name then? i'm-"

your name is shouted as hurried footsteps rush towards you. your mother pulls you aside as she looks at the young boy in front of you with panicked eyes.

"young master, i'm so sorry if my child said or did anything to hurt you," your mother says in a rush. she pushes your head down to bow in front of the young boy. she hisses something into your ear and you stutter out your own apology too, even if you did nothing wrong.

you find out the young boy you helped earlier that day was the son of the nobleman your mother works for, diluc ragnvindr. apparently, he's some big deal because he's the young master, but what kind of big deal hurts himself and hides between the barrels instead of asking for help?

you huff as you kick your feet sitting down by your bedside. because of the whole debacle, your mother had ordered you to stay inside to prevent even more debacles from happening even if you explained that the young master getting injured was not your fault. the sun shining from your windowsill feels so far away as you stare outside and ponder what to do.

until you hear a light pattering sound come from your window.

your curiosity is piqued as your small frame approaches the glass panes, wide eyes peeking over the wooden frame as your eyes scan the scenery.

the foliage of the trees surrounding your home cast shadows over your house with small animals running back and forth from the greenery above, causing the rustling of the leaves. the sun trickles in through the gaps of the leaves and your eyes settle on the boy with red hair standing outside your window, a small rock in his hand.

there's a proper bandage on his knee now as it was properly dressed, and his fiery eyes meet yours. he looks hesitant at first, but his brows furrow and his lips open to prepare to speak.

"...come outside and play with me," he tells you when you push open the window in your bedroom, a slight pout in his voice.

"you got me in trouble," you reply shortly, "and now i'm stuck inside because of you."

the young boy bites his lip, pondering what he could do or say to make things better. from the way he's thinking hard enough for you to see steam coming out of his ears, you could tell that he was trying really hard to think of anything to say.

"i'm sorry," he mumbles, kicking the dirt with his shoe.

"sorry, what was that?" you ask, holding your ear out.

the young master huffs, his cheeks puffed out in annoyance. he stomps his foot before-

"i said 'i'm sorry'!"

you smile at him smugly before crossing your arms on the windowsill. it was amusing to see the supposed young master like this; for such a renowned young boy, he was such a cry baby.

"okay, i can't go outside, but we can still play inside if that's okay," you tell him with a bright smile. "i'll let you in!"

"diluc..." he says, red eyes meeting yours. he reminds you of a fire with the way he's looking at you; so full of life but almost burning you if you get him too riled up. but the flames are tame now compared to the anxious flickers you saw earlier before he apologized.

"okay; i'll let you in then, diluc!"

ever since that warm summer, you and diluc have been inseparable; every afternoon is spent exploring the land of the winery but never straying far enough to get lost or end up on the other side of the lake where monsters lurk.

you were there the evening master crepus brought home another young boy around your age home; his blue hair reminding you of the blueberries your mother bought from mondstadt for you to eat. it was a bit of an adjustment with another young boy to play with, but soon you got along well with him as well.

his bright blue eyes always sparkling as you invite him to play alongside diluc and his little hand held in yours. he reminded you of the stars above with the way his eyes twinkle with youth and reflect the night sky above you when the three of you snuck out of your homes to stargaze with your hands holding onto each other until the morning sun began to rise over the horizon.

with your hands held tightly with diluc's and kaeya's, your youth together was only just beginning.

it's a cool morning where the early frost is beginning to melt as the sun continues to rise over the horizon, spreading her warmth and love across the fields of dawn winery. the young master has been gone for a couple days now; something about some sort of knight exam or whatever happening in the city of mondstadt. you would have gone with him, but your duties lie in caring for the winery whilst your friends head off to the heart of mondstadt to finish their training and hopefully become part of the knights of favonius that crepus ragnvindr had always encouraged them to be a part of.

you know having their father's praise meant a lot to your dear friends and you could only hope for the best for both diluc and kaeya as they were off doing their duties.

your ears perk as your name is shouted through the winery along with the sound of hooves rapidly against the dirt road. over in the distance, you can make out a red haired young man galloping over on his steed at near full speed. with wide eyes, you try to tell him to slow down before you get trampled and-

"oof!" you groan as a heavy body slams into you, both his weight and warmth tackling you to the ground. you're thankful that his arms cradled your head as you both go tumbling into the dirt road underneath you and the only pain was that of your body against the floor.

you don't even get to question why diluc had tackled you to the floor when he pulls his face away from you, giving you a clear view of his expression. he's smiling brightly, a wide grin on his face and his eyes of rubies twinkling brighter than any flame you've ever seen. the flames of his soul flicker brilliantly in his excitement and you can't help your own match his energy.

"i got in!" diluc says, his boyish smile growing wider. the small divots in his cheeks are cute and evidence of how hard he was grinning at the news. "i passed the trials got to do the oath swear and- oh, i wish you could've been there!"

despite growing up into a more mature-ish teen, it is moments like these where you're reminded that even as time passes and he grows taller than you, diluc is still the bright eyed boy that you've known since you were young. he looks so cute, in an endearing way, when he eagerly tells you all about his trials and how tough they were.

you really hope that the young master stays the same as he is now.

with a gentle hand, you reach up to ruffle his hair; it's soft to the touch and your eyes don't miss the way diluc pauses in his excitement as your fingers weave into his hair. you assume it's because he's not used to your praise and brush it off, even as he leans into your touch and waits for your words.

"why don't we head inside first? i want to hear everything that happened, but inside where it's warm and comfortable rather than on the dirt floor, diluc," you say to him, a slight lilt in your voice. you laugh softly when you see his cheeks flush a little in embarrassment before he gets off of you.

"i apologize, i was just so eager to tell you," diluc says softly, reaching down to offer a hand to you. you take his hand; you can feel the natural warmth emanating from his body through his gloves and, before you know it, you've been pulled up from the ground. his arm wraps around your waist to assure that you're balanced as you stand up.

"i just," diluc begins. you watch him as the young master of the winery averts his gaze briefly before he meets yours, warm rubies enveloping you with nothing but the comfort he holds for you ever since you were both younger.

"i wanted you to be the first person i told and to tell you."

a wave of something pleasant washes over you knowing that diluc, the heir of dawn winery and one of the most hardworking and talented man in all of mondstadt, rushed back home on horseback in the early hours of this chilly morning just to announce the news to you in person.

just so he could be your first in regards to his good news.

you laugh softly as something warm settles into the pit of your heart, squeezing his hand in yours as you tug him towards the main mansion of the winery estate with no intentions of letting his go for the time being.

even with the budding flowers of youth begin to bloom and the happiness that was promised to you has yet to come, you would have never expected for the spring of your youth to end so abruptly.

it happened all so quickly; crepus ragnvindr wielding a delusion, his death and the anger of diluc exploding, and the fall of your friendship with kaeya and diluc.

you weren't given the details of either one's situation, just a witness of a near death experience and the unforgiven apologies spewing from kaeya's lips as he held his injured eye in the midst of the rain washing down on them as if mourning both the loss of crepus ragnvindr and the wound wedged deep between the relationship of the ragnvindr brothers.

it was like in a mere second, the once warm diluc that would blush and hold your hand so delicately had been wiped away and replaced by a diluc grieving the loss of his father as the flames of his anger and betrayal of both his own brother and the knights of favonius for trying to brush the murder of his father under the rug explode and engulf his entire being.

he doesn't even give you a proper goodbye, leaving only a letter dedicated to you and his vision dimly glowing on his nightstand behind.

it feels like a fever dream when you hear the news of diluc finally returning after all of these years. you don't even hear it from the man himself; rather, from the whispers and excited chatter that the master of dawn winery had returned home.

part of you is excited at the news that he's alive; with no news of his existence after he ran from home in search of the truth behind his father's death other than the faint glow and warmth radiating from his vision clutched in your hands when you missed and worried for him, you were ecstatic knowing that he truly was home now.

that he's alive and breathing and still with you.

and yet, another part of you twinges in pain that he didn't come to you and announce that he was home. he had left you without even a single goodbye, not even bothering to visit you and explain his situation before leaving you questioning whether or not he even cared about how you felt about him.

of course, you aren't entitled to being the first to know, but after growing up together and usually being the first to know of everything in your youth, your heart aches knowing you were one of the last to hear of this at the winery.

it doesn't help knowing that you have not even caught a glimpse of diluc after his supposed return.

so imagine your surprise coming home one evening, the cool night air biting against your skin as you return home after a long day's work, seeing a figure leaning against your home.

at first, your blood turns cold as your heart races in your ears; it couldn't be anyone bad... the winery is a safe place and any suspicious figures are dealt with accordingly before they even step close to the winery grounds. you don't even have anything to defend yourself against if they did happen to be someone with malicious intent.

you take a step back to turn tail back to the estate but freeze when you begin to recognize the figure outside your door; red curls resembling that of flames flickering in the air and warm ruby eyes that you could recognize anywhere. despite standing in the dim evening light and having only the glow of the lantern outside of your home, you could make out the injuries through his dark clothing.

just what did he get himself into?

you hesitate at first, but eventually let your instincts take control as you begin to walk over to your home. it's as if you were both in the blooming stages of your youth again, bringing diluc home to mend his wounds after training for the knight exams.

caring for him was like muscle memory to you, even after all of the events leading to him leaving you in the dust.

you don't say a word as you open the wooden door and guide diluc in, pulling out a chair by the fireplace. wordlessly, he sits in it as you leave to prepare to clean his wounds.

your fingers shake ever so slightly as you remove diluc's coat from his shoulders, the heavy fabric falling to the floor with a thud. you apologize softly as you begin to unbutton his shirt and, as each button is undone and reveals more of his skin, your fingers begin to flinch every time your skin brushes against the skin of his chest.

his breath is warm, you can feel it against your skin as you slide off the remaining clothes on his torso. his chest is bare to you, and normally you would be gawking at how much he has physically changed since you were younger. but you cannot help but stare at how much he had been injured in the last few years you have seen him.

aside from the scratches from the most recent scuffle which led him to your quaint home beside his manor, scars litter his chest and arms. although most of them are healed, the damage that he had experienced was still evident on his skin and you hold back a gasp at how deep some of them had been; there's a huge scar that runs diagonally from the top of his chest to his stomach and you could already feel your stomach churning at the pain.

you couldn't imagine having to sustain those injuries for so long, and being alone through it all.

and, now, you hope that the injuries currently on his body heal faster knowing that he isn't alone this time. not when he has you by his side.

diluc's eyes burn holes into your skull as he watches you dip a towel into the bucket of warm water at your side; you pretend to ignore him. twisting the soaked cloth to rid it of the excess water, you gently begin to clean the wounded man in front of you.

a man you consider an old friend, but you fear he doesn't hold the same sentiment. not anymore.

it's quiet, the only sound shared between the two of you being the occasional sound of the towel dumped back into the bucket and the crackling of the fireplace in your living space. the moon casts her illuminating rays through the window of your home, but her light is nothing compared to the comfort of the fire in your home.

the comfort of the man in front of you, even if you didn't want to ever admit it to him now.

the glass jars containing the disinfecting ointment for diluc's wounds clink gently as you open them to spread over his skin.

"why are you helping me?" his voice breaks the thick silence between you two. his sudden question makes your hands pause, but you don't raise your head as you think of something to reply.

"and let an old friend bleed to death outside my door? you think i'm that heartless, diluc?" you ask him. your fingers resume their previous job of slathering the medicine over his new wounds. "i could say the same to you, why show up to my house like this?"

another silence follows your words and you assume he's done interrogating you for your kindness to him.

"i had nowhere else to turn to," diluc says after a while. your eyes catch his fists tighten on his lap as he takes another breath. "you've shown me nothing but kindness even after i was so cruel to you."

you exhale softly at his words. of course he thinks dealing with his own problems this entire time was the worst thing he could do to you. if you were being honest, it did hurt when he seemingly pretended you didn't exist or pushed you away when he had returned home from whatever he was dealing with away from mondstadt.

you had hoped for a joyful reunion, one filled with tears as you finally welcome home your old friend. but he never announced when he was coming home and you only figured out through the grapevine. he was never home when you looked for him and when you finally caught a glimpse of him, your eyes would meet for barely a second before he rushed off elsewhere and leaving you in the dust.

according to kaeya, his brother whom you've kept in touch with throughout the years. diluc had changed even more ever since his return; he kept his feelings to himself and his face remained 'constipated,' as per kaeya's words, due to his inner turmoil.

but from everyone else, he had always been so kind to them. the old women in the city would always praise how gentle the young master was, helping them walk across the city or carrying their groceries if they needed it. the young women also constantly swooned over how mysterious, yet warm-hearted diluc was; seemingly cold in nature but treating children and animals with such tenderness.

"it did hurt knowing you were ignoring me," you confess as your fingers begin to unravel the gauze to wrap over his wounds. "even if you wanted everyone to think you've changed and have become cold and guarded, i know you're still the same caring boy i've known since we were young. i hope so, at least."

his skin is warm to the touch, another feature you realize has never changed about your old friend. with bated breath, you lift your head to let your gaze finally settle on diluc's own. just as you predicted, despite the physical changes, you can still see the diluc you once knew within the scarred and older man in front of you.

diluc has definitely gotten older; the baby fat on his face slimming down slightly to reveal a more defined jaw and the bags under his eyes were evidence of his restless nights away from mondstadt. there are light scars on his face, nothing too deep to keep from his princely demeanor but are definitely proof of a troubling journey, and he has grown taller than the last time you had seen him in your youth.

but one thing that has never changed is the fire the lights up his eyes. so red and warm, you're tempted to hold his face in your hands to get a closer look. they're so vibrant, alive like the embers that flicker in the fireplace that lights your home, as they stare back at you in anticipation of your next words.

"you would never intend to hurt me on purpose. so if i should have to wait forever for you to be ready to come to me like you've had in the past, i don't mind doing so."

diluc's stoic expression wavers at your words. a sliver of guilt shines in his eyes and he looks away briefly as he digests the words you've spoken to him.

he couldn't tell you the reasons why he always kept you at arm's length; was he wary of your intentions for always being kind to him despite how he treated you or was he so used to people close to him lying to his face that he feared you were also pulling a facade?

or was he scared of you sharing the same fate as his family should he loved you with his heart on his sleeve, a fate of being held in his arms as he feels the warmth that once comforted him when you were young fade away like the embers in the hearth of a fireplace?

diluc did not want to know and he did not need to know, not when you're looking at him with such trust and compassion that he finds it hard to even hold any distrust towards you.

his dear friend from his youth who was always there to pick him up when he fell.

you did not break through the walls shielding diluc's heart for you had already found your place beside it, holding he's life with your gentle hands and protecting his soul's flames with your faith in him.

"i'm sorry," diluc apologizes to you, looking into your eyes. one of your hands is grabbed to be held by him, rough and scarred and so calloused as it held the memories and grief of what he went through to become like the man in front of you, the gauze held in your other. his warmth seeps into your skin, heating up your skin as the flames of his heart grow and encase your entire being within its embrace.

your lips part to say something, but he continues to speak.

"i thought keeping you away would benefit us both," he takes a breath as his eyes scan over your own features, taking in all that has changed since the last time he saw you in your adolescent years; how much you've grown both physically and emotionally. you look so much more mature than the naughty child who ran around breaking their mother's rules just to play with him or the dear friend who would bicker with him endlessly during their teenage years.

the years of their beautiful youth, years that he wished so dearly he could go back to and live in that peace for eternity.

but while the winds continue to blow and move time along, you've continued to stay the same despite the change.

you're still so kind, so inviting to someone like him.

you treat him like the friend you've remembered in your adolescence, even if his hands were bloodied with vengeance and his heart is scarred and wounded from betrayal and deceit.

he is still diluc, just diluc in your bright and beautiful eyes; he always had been.

his hands squeeze yours tightly, hoping that he has the courage to say what he wants to say.

"i don't deserve your kindness, or your love. but if i imagine a life where i have succeeded in pushing you away and we no longer talk," diluc begins, the fire in his eyes wavering as they hold your gaze.

"i don't think i would ever want to live a life where you're not in it."

diluc's words shake you to your core; it's something you wouldn't expect him to say now after all these years. as much as you want to immediately forgive him and push back the years of agony, waiting for any sign that he was alive while leaving his vision behind, or even watching as he ignores you despite being home after all these years, your heart aches knowing knowing he even did this to you in the first place.

"how can i know that you won't leave me like you did?" your voice is small despite being so close to him. in fear of having him see how much his actions have affected you, you face tilts down to your lap to avoid his gaze. "i can't just wait for you forever, it hurts sitting here all these years with a promise i don't even know if you'll keep."

you take a shaky breath as you speak again.

"you didn't even say goodbye."

your voice breaks as you say those words and you can feel the burning sensation as the tears threaten to spill over your eyes.

there's a moment of silence between the two of you before you hear him gently call out your name. his free hand reaches up to cup your face, tentatively guiding you to face him. he says your name again, softly as if even saying your name too harshly would cause you to break, and you hesitantly meet his gaze.

there's a tenderness that you recognize deep in those fiery pools in his eyes, one that flickers like the hearth of your fireplace and suddenly you feel like you're experiencing the most beautiful yet fleeting moment in life once more. diluc's thumb gently presses against your cheek to wipe away any tears that overflowed from your already wet eyes.

his pinky links with your own, a childish thing to do but one that you still hold dear to your own heart.

a promise between the two of you bathed in firelight and your youth reflected back at you in the shape of the young man sitting before you.

[undermine-the-instinct]

[ IF NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR FATE, I WILL BE THE FIRST | pathologic ]

This is my entry in the Seraphiism '23 event! By of course, the lovely @seraphiism . I'm trying out a new format/writing style, so lemme know what you think <3

WARNINGS: A little blood, nothing graphic WORD COUNT: 3.2K (This got away from me)

{ I.THE BOUGH KEEPER IS SACRIFICE FIRST, SOLDIER SECOND, AND LAST OF ALL MAN}

And least of all, yours. The weight of eternity weighs heavily on his shoulders, but he presses on, and you mourn him for it. He pays the price of honor enacted by a far lesser man of his past, takes up arms and spills blood in the scorn of the divine. Because of Destiny’s decree.

You try to imagine it–eternal penance for a crime you could hardly remember. You imagine bearing a sword and a curse, one and the same, for hundreds of years, and your heart recoils at the misery that wraps around it. You can hardly believe that that is to be his fate-you refuse to. It cannot truly be his choice, not one made in any good faith at least. Or perhaps any faith at all.

You suspect he lost it ages ago.

“Do you ever think…” You begin hesitantly. “That you could leave it behind? All of it?”

Dainsleif, your lover, sets down his book. It's one of the ones you’ve kept around, and it seems he finally has time to peruse them, however borrowed that time it is.

“All of it?”

“...Yeah.” 

“No. No.” He reiterates. And he smiles for you, because he knows how much it makes your heart warm. 

“I can't abandon my duty, neither can I abandon you. They are one and the same.  You are…woven into me. Cutting you off from my life would be cutting away the fabric of my soul. I could never.”

“...Why do you feel they’re one and the same?” A weight on his heart. Perhaps.

He fingers the worn pages of the book, his eyes dark in thought.

“I have a responsibility to the world, and you are a part of the world.”

“Those two sound so very far removed. I'm just one person, but if I could decide, my sole desire would be just to rest with you.”

He chuckles, good naturedly, like always. “If the world was ruled by our desires, I'd have been forever and solely yours already. And there would be no gods, but you.” For a man who rages and detests the divine, you’re not sure how to feel about that.

“But alas, the world often ignores our most fervent desires, unless we force it to acknowledge us that is.” A weight tugs his brow down, and his features buckle under it. Something like grief. “And that…is a very hard thing to do.”

“Alas.” 

You nod, and return to your wayward gaze out the window. You imagine a life where he lives for you, and nothing else. You try to deny in your mind that he would want anything else. What could he find out in the world that he cannot find in your arms? A cursed man, believing himself content in penance and self flagellation, of service to the world at large.

But he is yours. You deny the world in his place.

{II.THERE IS A ROT THAT REPLACES THE MARROW OF HIS BONES}

It is woven into him, and he cannot escape it. He has long stopped trying.

It wears and tears at his soul, and marks his skin in scars, and he continues on.  Fate has decreed that he will do so forevermore, until the day the abyss drags him down into its depths, its spindly fingers already grasping at him in twisting, molted blues. But he tries, because when you kiss the expanse of cursed flesh, a blissful smile on your face, a sudden rush of heat makes his skin prickle. It’s not love, though he loves you. It's rage.

Its disgust, and sick vitriol. You deserve better, you deserve more. You don't need this broken tapestry of pieces clinging onto some semblance of humanity. You don't need your nights interrupted by his nightmares, or his form clinging to your doorway, bloodied and offering the only tribute he knows to your altar.

He does not worship the Gods, but he knows something more divine, having long since slipped into the pews of your chapel.

“...I’m sorry.” You rush towards him, and he leans into the shoulder you offer him, letting you pull him into your bathroom where he stains the white porcelain.

“If you were sorry–” you huff as you set him down. “You wouldn’t get hurt so often.”

You pull out the first aid kit, and set to patching him up, removing layers of clothing to see the hurt beneath. He hardly winces, but his heart tugs.

“...You know I can't help myself.”

“You’re just one man, Dainsleif, there's too much for you to do on your own. And we both know this is about more than just your honor, or duty.”

“...Yet I am beginning to wonder,” he mumbles as you wipe away the blood. “Whether it has always been my fate to deny Fate.”

“What do you mean.”

You sound too upset for it to sound anything like a question. A demand, perhaps. He sighs. He is tired. So tired. He’s always been.

“Whether Fate is truly something we can overcome, or whether my rage is just a by-product of providence. If it was all preordained.” He shuts his eyes.

“The Gods that cursed us, the people and the nation I failed, my curse, my duty and obligation; I wonder if you too are foredoomed, just another predilection.”

“Is that why you do all this? To prove, what? Fate wrong?”

He doesn't answer, but he does open his eyes to see your mouth flatten. You continue patching him up, taking care of him, but he sees the way your eyes tremble.

“...Or perhaps just self-actualization?”  

“...I have an obligation to the world, and to you–”

“Don’t say that, don’t pretend that this is for me, this is not for me. You’ve been doing this long before I was a thought on the breeze.” Centuries wear down his memory, but the tug of your mouth and brow pulls at him like a drawn bow, piercing through the fog of his fatigue.

Your shoulders shake next. “So if I asked you to stop, would you?”

He doesn't answer, even when the tears spill from your eyes.

“I don't care for fate, destiny or whatever. I care about you. Keep your honor, keep your anger, but stay with me. Is that not enough?”

“....It’s for you, too.”

“...I don't appreciate being your excuse, Bough Keeper.”

Celestia always watches, but even he cannot help but utter a prayer to some unknown god, that their eyes do not fall on this wayward moment.

He is fine with cursing the stars, his fate, with breaking body; he is fine with letting the heavens bear witness to his rage.

But not his grief.

It settles, thick and cloying on his tongue. The sour tang drowns out everything else.

{III.HE WILL NOT CHOOSE YOU. WHEN DESTINY TUGS AT HIS CLOAK AND BIDS HIM LOOK, HE WILL TURN FROM YOU}

You know he wishes he never met you. That he never fell in love with you. You try to take it as a compliment.

You would give anything to remove the burden on his shoulders, if only he were not so adamant on carrying it. You do not see the reason why–you would rather love a coward than mourn a legend. You would rather he stays home with you, in your arms, than leave and come back, over and over and over and over again.

You know he wishes he never knew you.

Dainsleif, he holds you, works in the garden with you, bathes with you, loves you–but his hands are tense, and his eyes stray to the world outside your window. You at least know that when he is gone, that he leaves because he is thinking of you, that he cannot handle being perceived by you for too long; It renders him asunder.

“Like a predator, staring at the open carcass of my soul,” he once said. “You just make me feel so…”

‘So what?’ You had wanted to ask, but you had known better, didn't he just tell you? So you acquiesce, but on the inside you ache. You plead and you beg, and you don't let the words spill past your lips; You hold them in your chest and your eyes and watch him leave.

You trade chaste kisses for letters in your mailbox, blissful sighs for dandelion fluff on the wind. Your love is like a hot air balloon, you cannot keep him close but you can keep him tethered even as the rope frays and tears at your hands.

Welcome him back with them open, and settle for apologetic kisses on your knuckles, from your knight, for a ring on your finger. No god would hold your marriage sacred, anyways, despite your tears.

“And what knowledge have you gleaned from your travels this time, my love?” You smile. Please don’t leave me again.

“Nothing that I don’t already know dearest.” I’ll do anything. Just give me the word. Just give me the knife.

“Which is?” Why don't you ever ask me? You know I'll do it.

His eyes, so deep and somber. They know, but they don't answer. “Fate has foretold that I will return here, as always.”

“Of course.” And he will always leave. 

{IV. WHAT IS IT LIKE TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS ALWAYS RUNNING, ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR? TIME DOES NOT SIT STILL, FOR NO ONE.}

Celestia is always watching.

Even here in this quiet moment, where the night holds vigil to the stars' homily, as they drag their forms past that pale corpse of a moon.

It's a still moment. He has removed you from his arms and you continue to sleep peacefully, your chest rising and falling, your heart the drum that starts off all his nights and days.

He is going to lose you, but before that he will lose himself.

Even now, he could feel the curse, like an ever burrowing parasIte, slowly consuming him. It replaces him. Eats away at him, fills him with rot, and he has the audacity to find solace in  your garden. You dig out the rot and replace it with something far kinder, but that doesn't stop the curse from growing.

He is like an inteyvat flower. Hardened and unable to wilt unless placed back in the soil of his home. You’ve decided to love a dying man, and stand vigil, always, at his never ending wake.

Sunshine from a past life. Peers who trusted him and stood at his side and back, carrying the weight of honor. He doesn't remember them, but he remembers the sunshine. He remembers how he failed them. He remembers only what he can and only knows what he should. And he knows this tale like the back of his hand, the curve of your cheek.

This was fated to end in tragedy.

You move in your sleep and he startles. You roll over, and Dainsleif waits until you settle, to breathe easy again.

He can not reconcile who he is with the man he was before he met you. He doesn’t wish to go back, but he muses on how much easier it would be. He could deny the Gods, defy Celestia, the Archons, even Heavenly principles, even Destiny. But he cannot choose to remain alongside you as well.

He mourns this indecisive fool you turned him into. He will not survive without you, but that is alright because it has to be. Not every story has a happy ending, but every story needs a narrator. He'll re-read your scripture and memorize your chapters for as long as you remain, and even after.

And he will remain long after you are gone.

{V. IF NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR FATE, I WILL BE THE FIRST}

The sunlight paints the fields honey and gold, and soon it will be time to return to your little cottage. There will be cherry wine waiting on the table, and some mending you still need to finish, but beyond that you take in this moment, drink it down greedily; an open bud unfurling like a fist to an open palm, demanding the world its due.

Your lover on the other hand does not share the same attitude. His head rests in your lap, but you feel the restless energy in him, and stay still in the hopes of encouraging him to do the same. It doesn’t work.

“Settle down, Dain.”

“I am calm.”

“No you’re not. You’re fidgeting.”

“...I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave soon.” Ah. As always.

“Then all the more reason to relax now, while we have the time.” He scoffs at that word, time. He rises to meet your eyes, and you smile at his mussed hair.

“I might be away longer than I usually am. I’m not sure how long I'll be away for.”

You crack a knuckle in anxiety. “But you’ll be back, of course?”

He only pauses for the slightest of breaths. “Of course. Will you still want me back?” Your face takes on an exasperated look, but he waves it away.

“Do you not get tired of waiting, always? Are you not tired of constantly grieving, of having to love this broken piece of tapestry?” You are shaking your head before he's finished.

“No. If you are torn I will mend you. If you’re just a piece of tapestry then I’ll stitch you onto something better.”

“Leave behind these metaphors and poetry. I would rather believe you pity me rather than actually love me.”

The words hit a chord deep inside you. It carves a gorge, and anger rushes in to fill it.

“So what? You would rather me love a stranger? Someone who would understand me less than you do?“ You stare him down.

“..If I must–”

“‘Must’? Well you don’t. And by whose order? Whose words? Is that truly something you would allow, or what you tell yourself you should let happen?” His face doesnt twist, but you know the tint of misery that spreads under his skin. It's blue-black, like a bruise, like the stretch of his right arm.

“No. You will truly be damned thrice over if you allow that. You are so content to let the world, to let fate, decide how things are and should be–I don't believe in that. My fate will be what I say it is, and I say you will be with me forevermore. If you must leave, then leave, but come back to me, don’t let go of me!”

“I am ruined,” A wave rustles the grass, like a crowd gone silent. “I am ruined, cursed, damned as you say. You do not want this. You should not want this.”

“I don't believe that, and you shouldn’t either. Who has told you this, has Celestia personally decreed your fate? Or do you continue to let tragedy be the narrator of your life?” You grasp his face, pull him closer to your eyes.

“I have you. I want you. And it is reciprocated, As long as that is, things will not change. I refuse anything else.”

His eyes go back and forth between yours, and he sighs.

“As long as I breathe, I will return to you. But that does not change the fact that this was never supposed to be. If not by destiny’s nature than my own; It is only a matter of time before this too, ends.” 

“Then forget what fate or destiny has told you. I am your fate, I am both your penance and redemption. If no one has ever told you about your fate then I shall be the first.”

Ans he is drawn, he listens like your words are rapture, like the first believer in the front pew of a sermon. So you smooth back his hair, and speak a prophecy.

“We will go home, and pick the tomatoes in the garden. They’re ripe now, and we’ll use them in our dinner. We’ll wash the dishes, unwind. Bathe. I’ll wash your hair and you’ll scrub my back. The sun should have set by then, so we can go to bed. As it gets darker I could read to you by candlelight, or, we could make love.”

“We’d need another bath, and to change the sheets then,” he mumbles, the slight pink hue high over his cheekbones.

“So would you rather we make love earlier? Or in the bath to save time?” You grin, and it draws soft breaths of laughter from your lover. You go on with your spiel.

“We’ll go to sleep together as always, and in the morning you’ll be baptised by the morning dew and the fresh brewed coffee. Much like today, you’ll laze in the fields with me, and when the time comes for you to leave, I'll give you my blessing, and my hopes as always, for you to come back to me.”

“So forget duty, when you are with me. If you are cursed I will be your balm. If there is rot in you I will scrape it out, and use it as fertilizer for my garden.“ He scoffs under his breath.

“You think this is a burden easy to unlade.”

“Yes, if you would only just let it. For by my decree, the Twilight sword shall be laid to rest in my presence, for I will be it's sheathe.” You only half jest and he looks at you quizzically.

“Did you just make an innuendo–”

“--And your words shall always be sweet, for my kisses shall honey your breath.” You kiss him to emphasize, or to quiet him, and he leans into you with a shudder, like a cat seeking affection, only something more desperate.

“If you care not for starlight, I will fasten you a crown of dandelions,” you continue. “And garb you in silks and sighs.”

“Fanciful daydreams,” He mutters, eyes closed. You trace the faint veins on his eyelids , violet blue in the dappled sunlight. 'Like crocuses.'

“Not when I’m with you,” you shake your head. “I’ll make them a reality, I swear. On all the love I have for you.”

He shakes his head in answer, a denial ready on his lips.

“The Twilight sword––”

“As I said– Shall be laid to rest in my presence.” You look at him as if to dare him to refute. He doesn’t.

You turn tender. You scot closer, practically in his lap now, if only to see his lashes flutter, pupils dilating.

“If you do not worship a god you may worship me, as I do you. That is your fate.”

“...Alright.” He sighs then, shakes his head, as to rid himself of the trance you put him under. He stands, and offers a hand to you.

“Alright then. Let your words be what I live by–I am yours, if you so say.”

You take his hand and head home.

[seraphiism]

hi! i would like to join your collab.

blog: @thomine

prompt: 68 (i am not myself. i don’t think i’ve been my real self for a very long time).

fandom: genshin impact. thank you!

hello !! i've got you down for #68 :^))

[seraphiism]

─── 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌'𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐁 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

✧ ˚ · . welcome to kay's 2023 writing collab event! this is intended to be small, no pressure community event ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و essentially, the premise is to pick a quote from this post and write a fic revolving around said quote! there are many options, so i hope everyone will find one they'll enjoy integrating into their story (･ω･ﾉﾉﾞ

✧ ˚ · . STATUS [ 12/31 ] : CLOSED! masterlist here!

✧ ˚ · . guidelines !

01. SFW x reader fics only. 02. no dark content, no NSFW content. 03. no min or max word count. 04. pick only one quote; this means only one submission per writer for this event. i would like everyone to have a fair chance :^) this is subject to change, though! i don't expect all the quotes to be claimed, so maybe later down the road, the submission count will increase. 05. when you post your fic : ♡ provide the source of the quote ( e.g. from path to nowhere, by so and so, etc. ) ♡ mention/tag me so i don't miss anyone's work (•’╻’• ۶)۶ ( @seraphiism ) ♡ link back to this post ♡ tag your fic with #seraphiism'23

✧ ˚ · . how do i join ?

choose a quote & fandom from the lists below, then send me an ask containing: ♡ the quote you want to claim ♡ ( preferably ) the fandom you'll be writing for ( if you’re not sure, still deciding, or decide later that you want to change it, that’s fine! as long as it’s from the fandom list. you don’t have to msg me or anything! ) ♡ the blog name you will be posting your fic from please note there are no duplicates, so quotes are claimed on a first come, first serve basis. if someone else has claimed that quote, i will let you know! i'll respond to the ask and update the quote list with your blog name.

✧ ˚ · . when is the deadline ?

the deadline to post fics will be december 31st! this is a very, very lax deadline. if you don't have enough time, expect to post your fic after the date, or no longer wish to participate, that's completely okay! the point of this event is just to have fun. things happen-- school, work, life events, emergencies, creative block, etc. -- i understand, so please do not feel obligated :^) that being said, if you decide to not participate anymore, send me a message so i can make the quote available again! you are also more than welcome to post the fic before dec 31st!

✧ ˚ · . fandoms ! ( under the cut )

♡ baldur's gate ♡ code vein ♡ dragon age ( all series ) ♡ fire emblem ( all series ) ♡ genshin impact ♡ granblue fantasy ♡ final fantasy ( all series ) ♡ honkai star rail ♡ jujutsu kaisen ♡ obey me ♡ path to nowhere ♡ resident evil ( all series ) ♡ tears of themis ♡ tokyo revengers ( time-skip only ) ♡ touchstarved

✧ ˚ · . quotes !

╭┈ 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 01. ' please don't get hurt while i'm not around. ' 02. ' i know it's painful, but don't give up. ' 03. ' let go. this time, it's my turn to protect you. ' 04. ' as long as you need me, i'll always stay by your side. ' 05. ' i want to watch it once more, the sunrise. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @dxy-drxxm )

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶 06. ' when that time comes, i shall willingly be at your mercy and follow you to the ends of the earth. ' 07. ' it must be hard for you to understand, right? that there'd be a selfish, cruel and cold-blooded monster like me in this world. ' 08. ' i know you're suffering now. perhaps nothing i will say will ease your pain. ' 09. ' no, i don't want you to die. i won't allow it. ' 10. ' you're ahead of others in reaching the end that nobody can escape. '

✧. ┊ 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗱 11. ' i wonder if you remember me as i was. sometimes i think of those days. do you? ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @primoredial-jade ) 12. ' there will come a time when we must part. i only tell you this in the hope to make easier our farewells. ' 13. ' all things end, all things burn to ash, but you, my friend, burn bright. ' 14. ' when you are near, my heart is at peace. ' 15. ' i see inside you. but you're not as twisted as i thought you'd be. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰 16. ' what in the world is going on here? are you trying to flirt with me? ' 17. ' i pity you, human. you're so good, but there's so little of you left. ' 18. ' you've got enough sins on your conscience to suffer until the end of days. ' 19. ' if no one has ever told you about your fate, i will be the first. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @undermine-the-instinct ) 20. ' compassion might be the most sincere emotion a human being is capable of. '

✧. ┊ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗮𝗻𝗮 21. ‘ if you have to face emotions you wanted to keep buried, secrets you wanted to keep hidden away, and pain you wanted to forget, do you think you'll be able to accept them as your own? ’ 22. ' no matter what happens, you mustn't let go of my hand. ' 23. ' i had well beyond my share of happiness. i don't need any more. ' 24. ' i know we'll find each other. i have faith we will. ' 25. ' keep just a little bit of me in a corner of your soul. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘀 26. ' may you find your worth in the waking world. ' ┊  bloodborne 27. ' this may sound strange, but... have i somehow changed? ' ┊ bloodborne 28. ' you can close your eyes. i'll always remain here by your side. ' ┊ persona 29. ' should you ever lose hope, should you be too weak to stand, remember that you are not alone. ' ┊ persona ➺ CLAIMED ( @auraxins ) 30. ' we all make choices, but in the end our choices make us. ' ┊ bioshock

╭┈ 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗮𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗱 31. ' if you can't hold it back, it's okay to cry. you're already more than enough to be loved. ' 32. ' the past is gone, the future is far away. what are you afraid of? ' 33. ' i'm always here, so don't worry too much. ' 34. ' you who sleep for your dreams, it's okay to rest. ' 35. ' forever’s something like a sand castle, you know. it comes crumbling down at the calmest of waves. '

✧. ┊ 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 + 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 36. ' you can’t carry it with you if you want to survive. ' 37. ' i’m not calling you a ghost ; just stop haunting me. ' 38. ' then i heard your heart beating ; you were in the darkness too, so i stayed in the darkness with you. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @decadentfantasy ) 39. ' you can't choose what stays and what fades away ; and i'd do anything to make you stay. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @noxtivagus ) 40. ' and the heart is hard to translate, it has a language of its own. '

✧. ┊ 𝗲𝗱𝗲𝗻 41. ' what we had was never enough for us, just echoes and dust. ' 42. ' but please, just hold on to me ; i've slayed these demons, they're old to me. ' 43. ' some say these things are for the best ; how are you so sure? ' 44. ' all you want so far is love, death and some kind of higher high. ' 45. ' i used to wonder what love is, but ever since you've been around, i finally think i have it figured out. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @teyvattales )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗰𝘀 46. ' you taught me the courage of the stars before you left. ' ┊ sleeping at last 47. ' the heaviness that i hold in my heart's been crushing me. ' ┊ sleeping at last 48. ' don't bring tomorrow cause i already know i'll lose you. ' ┊ daughter 49. ' and if you're in love, then you are the lucky one. ' ┊ daughter 50. ' my love, don't look back anymore. ' ┊ rm

╭┈ 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 / 𝐩𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗹𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘅, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲 51. ' life is difficult, but you are loved. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @fuyuu-chan ) 52. ' sometimes i think you believe in me more than i do. ' 53. ' there is more love in this world than you could possibly imagine. ' 54. ' home isn’t always a place, is it? ' 55. ' often the hardest person to forgive is yourself. '

✧. ┊ 𝗼𝗺𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 56. ' i shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere, too. ' 57. ' will i ever get to meet you again? ' 58. ' i couldn't rage when i wanted to rage. i couldn't be sad when i wanted to grieve. ' 59. ' the hurt we inflicted on each other would not be erased. ' 60. ' even if you manage to save the world, you still won't be saved. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗲 61. ' you must know, surely you must know, it was all for you. ' 62. ' we are all fools in love. ' 63. ' i am very sorry to have caused you pain. ' 64. ' you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you. ' 65. ' have a little compassion on my nerves. you tear them to pieces. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹 66. ' we don’t get what we’re due, or what we’re owed, we only get what we get, and we can crumble and cry about it or we can make do. ' 67. ' if you ever saw good in me, it was only reflected from you. ' 68. ' i am not myself. i don’t think i’ve been my real self for a very long time. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @thomine ) 69. '  if you don’t come with me now, i can’t protect you. you have to leave it all behind, and i can keep you safe. i promise i will keep you safe. ' 70. ' you’ll remember, then, that i might have saved you, that i loved you enough to try. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 71. ' your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself. ' ┊ oscar wilde 72. ' the gods have been good to you. but what the gods give, they quickly take away. ' ┊ oscar wilde 73. ' i love you and i missed you and i’m so very sorry. ' ┊ shuly xóchitl cawood 74. ' nothing this intense can ever last. even the brightest stars burn out. ' ┊ gwendolyn macewen 75. ' i will tell you this. there’s no need for you to break. ' ┊ r.m. drake

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶 76. ' i will share my life with you, for good or evil, until death comes. ' ┊ agatha christie 77. ' in the whole entire world, you are the only person, the only person i love or have ever loved. ' ┊ tony kushner 78. ' i almost do not exist now and i know it ; god knows what lives in me in place of me. ' ┊ fyodor dostoevsky ➺ CLAIMED ( @ex-tenebris ) 79. ' of course we will hurt each other. but this is the very condition of existence. ' ┊ antoine de saint-exupéry 80. ' i love you– i do– but i am afraid of making that love too important. because you’re always going to leave me. we can’t deny it. you’re always going to leave. ' ┊ david levithan ➺ CLAIMED ( @aimixx )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶𝗶 81. ' don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are going to have it all. you are not. ' ┊ joyce brothers 82. ' i will love you tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and still many more, so very many more tomorrows. ' ┊ vladimir nabokov ➺ CLAIMED ( @bloodandthestars ) 83. ' i’m a fool, but i’ll love you dear. ' ┊ bill trader` 84. ' it was nice to have you in my life while i did, good luck with everything that happens after now. ' ┊ iain thomas 85. ' you have broken down my defenses, and i don’t really resent it. ' ┊ vita sackville west ➺ CLAIMED ( @monocaelia )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝘃 86. ' love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. ' ┊ james baldwin 87. ' i cannot stop you now. i cannot save you. ' ┊ amal el-mohtar & max gladstone 88. ' i love you. the most three difficult words in the world. but what else can i say? ' ┊ jeanette winterson 89. ' is there something you need? name it. it's yours. if i have it, it's yours. ' ┊ ali hazelwood 90. ' i swear i've been tender ; i've been tough when i needed to be. ' ┊ molly mccully brown

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝘃 91. ' your words are so softly spoken that no one can hear them except in deep silence. ' ┊ guigo II 92. ' tell me this will never ruin us ; god, tell me, please. ' ┊ michael wasson 93. ‘ which parts of you did you kill so you could be loved? ’ ┊ jody chan 94.' don't leave now. we have almost survived our lives. ' ┊ linda pastan 95. ' my rot is as hungry as me. & when god asks me about love, i always respond with cruelty. ' ┊ yves olade

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 ; 𝗽𝘁. 𝘃𝗶 96. ' the truth is simple, you do not die from love. you only wish you did. ' ┊ erica jong 97. ' and i'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, i'd find you and i'd choose you. ' ┊ kierston white ➺ CLAIMED ( @mayaree-darling ) 98. ' i'm tired, can't think of a thing, and my sole wish is to lay my head in your lap, feel your hand on my head, and stay that way through all eternity. ' ┊ franz kafka ➺ CLAIMED ( @astrxealis ) 99. ' still, there is this terrible desire to be loved. still, there is this horror at being left behind. ' ┊ michael cunningham 100. ' i don't care, i love you anyhow. it is too late to turn you out of my heart. part of you lives here. ' ┊ anne sexton

questions? ready to send a message?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ send one here!

[seraphiism]

─── 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐈𝐒𝐌'𝐒 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

✧ ˚ · . welcome to kay's 2024 writing event! this is essentially the same as the '23 event! i had a lot of fun planning it out and reading everyone's fics, so i figured i'd go ahead and post this year's event much earlier (ง ˙ω˙)ว this is intended to be small, no pressure community event ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و essentially, the premise is to pick a quote from this post and write a fic revolving around said quote! i hope everyone will find one they'll enjoy integrating into their story (･ω･ﾉﾉﾞand i hope you have fun writing your story!

✧ ˚ · . STATUS [ 02 / 05 ] : open !

✧ ˚ · . masterlist !

✧ ˚ · . guidelines !

01. SFW x reader fics only. 02. no dark content, no NSFW content. 03. no min or max word count. 04. you can pick one or two quotes! please note if you choose two quotes, it's two separate fics, not one fic incorporating both quotes. 05. when you post your fic : ♡ provide the source of the quote ( e.g. from path to nowhere, by so and so, etc. ) ♡ mention/tag me so i don't miss anyone's work (•’╻’• ۶)۶ ( @seraphiism ) ♡ link back to this post ♡ tag your fic with #seraphiism'24

✧ ˚ · . how do i join ?

choose a quote & fandom from the lists below, then send me an ask containing: ♡ the quote you want to claim ♡ the blog name you will be posting your fic from please note there are no duplicates, so quotes are claimed on a first come, first serve basis. if someone else has claimed that quote, i will let you know! i'll respond to the ask and update the quote list with your blog name. also, there's no deadline to join ( except like. dec 31st ). you are more than welcome to hop in or out of this event whenever you'd like or whenever it's best for you! you don't have to be following me to participate! this is meant to be for whoever wants to join :^)

✧ ˚ · . when is the deadline ?

the deadline to post fics will be december 31st! this is a very, very lax deadline. if you don't have enough time, expect to post your fic after the date, or no longer wish to participate, that's completely okay! the point of this event is just to have fun. things happen-- school, work, life events, emergencies, creative block, etc. -- i understand, so please do not feel obligated :^) that being said, if you decide to not participate anymore, send me a message so i can make the quote available again! you are also more than welcome to post the fic whenever you would like, whether before or after dec 31st. even if you post in 2030 . i do not care as long as you enjoy yourself. 2050 even . go wild . insane , even

✧ ˚ · . fandoms ! ( under the cut )

♡ baldur's gate ♡ castlevania ♡ code vein ♡ coral island ♡ devil may cry ♡ dragon age ( all series ) ♡ final fantasy ( all series ) ♡ fire emblem ( all series ) ♡ genshin impact ♡ granblue fantasy ♡ honkai star rail ♡ jujutsu kaisen ♡ love & deepspace ♡ mystic messenger ♡ obey me ♡ omniscient reader's viewpoint ♡ path to nowhere ♡ resident evil ( all series ) ♡ stardew valley ♡ tears of themis ♡ tokyo revengers ( time-skip only ) ♡ touchstarved

✧ ˚ · . quotes !

╭┈ 𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗯𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗸 01. ' there is no place for you in paradise. ' 02. ' nothing ever scared me so much as saying goodbye. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @sfznyxio ) 03. ' you sacrificed, you endured, and when given the chance, you forgave. ' 04. ' time rots everything. even hope. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @astolary ) 05. ' what can i do with this one, aphrodite? '

✧. ┊ 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝘀𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 06. ' i'll be here. i'll be waiting for you. if you come here, you'll find me. i promise. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @hivvernal ) 07. ' nothing worth fighting for was ever won without sacrifice. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @keqism ) 08. ' things fade with time, as do many things in this world. but there are some things that we cannot let disappear. ' 09. ' what can i do? what do you want from me? if i can't live or die, what do you want me to do? ' 10. ' be careful. don't let hatred take over. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 11. ' are you capable of loving anyone at all? ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @thomine ) 12. ' i'd rather you relieve my heartache. it's become so acute lately, like my heart expires. ' 13. ' don't come near me. we both know how it is. no escape. ' 14. ' yes, my love, you are the bravest. ' 15. ' you are correct. i am a destroyer. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @hivvernal )

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 16. ' i'm glad i'm going before you, even if it's sooner than either of us would like. ' 17. ' some will gaze into your lines and paint to seek a deeper meaning. what will they find? ' 18. ' if there is fire in their hearts, we must pray for rain. ' 19. ' it is but one trial after the other, but i will persevere. mark my words. 20. ' an eye for an eye. you may have condemned me, but in doing so, you damned yourself as well. '

✧. ┊ 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶𝗶 21. ' life is never easy. you take that lesson to heart. ' 22. ' you can fight for something right and still choose the wrong way to do it. i swore i would never let that happen again. ' 23. ' you can't run from your past forever. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @decadentfantasy ) 24. ' the things we don't want to see-- we ignore it as long as we can for everyone's sake. ' 25. ' love is the only reason to do anything in this life. '

✧. ┊ 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗹𝗳 𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝘀 26. ' our stories used to be simple. we had a beginning, a middle, and an end. ' 27. ' sometimes, we have to find our way through life on our own, grasping and fumbling through the dark. ' 28. ' you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ' 29. ' i just want you to be careful. i almost lost you once. ' 30. ' when we suffer, we do it in silence, and the world likes it that way. '

╭┈ 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 ✧. ┊ 𝗯𝘁𝘀 31. ' where there is hope, there is always hardship. ' 32. ' in the previous life, maybe the next too, we're eternally together. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @syneilesis ) 33. ' from the very beginning, my heart runs to you. ' 34. ' i can't show you a ruined part of myself ; once again, i put a mask on and go to see you. ' 35. ' the morning will come again ; no darkness can last forever. '

✧. ┊ 𝗱𝗽𝗿 𝗶𝗮𝗻 36. ' i'm losing my mind, but i think i'll be alright. just hold my hand, you'll see. ' 37. ' don't worry, i'll find a way to come back. i always do. ' 38. ' i lost myself under the sun ; i got too close and now i'm burning. ' 39. ' i wanna see the world with you, oh darling. ' 40. ' and as we draw our goodbyes, i'll be patient for your words, but you told me you had nothing to say. '

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗲𝗴 &𝗱𝗶𝗮 41. ' you’ve got to weigh your wars ; make sure you're not fighting for nothing. ' 42. ' you've become more than i could have become for you. ' 43. ' you've got to act like god ; you rule the world, you give the word. ' 44. ' if all that you take from this is courage, then i've no regrets. ' 45. ' but if i could tell you one thing, i would tell you i'm not leaving. ' ➺ CLAIMED ( @bornofchalk )

✧. ┊ 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗰. 𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝘀; 𝗽𝘁. 𝗶 46. ' you're living in your mind and nostalgia holds you in dark places. ' ┊ banks 47. ' i couldn't save you, but at least i say i tried. ' ┊ banks 48. ' i'll embrace you and take care of you ; i'll wash you with alcohol and forgive your sins. ' ┊ bibi ➺ CLAIMED ( @ex-tenebris ) 49. ' honestly, i didn't think about how we didn't say goodbye, just 'see you very soon.' ┊ laufey ➺ CLAIMED ( @rqnvindr ) 50. ' god, i'm so lovesick. what have you done to me? ' ┊ laufey ➺ CLAIMED ( @syneilesis )

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