#...hm i rly should not post these thoughtful posts. my insanities ought to be contained inside my mind alone
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i dont really have a yearning for romantic love or affection by itself. but i do feel a dreadful longing when i see anything related to the childhood friends to lovers trope
#just knowing that even if by some chance i were to have a lover.#that person would only be someone i met and came to know as an adult#this realization is hitting me recently#somehow in my brain i just thought that when i meet the person i love#our pasts will be rewritten so that we will have known each other since childhood.#obviously i didnt believe something like this lol but it was just a feeling..#but in reality i will never be able to have that kind of ideal connection. ever#i will never be able to know those parts of that person. their past versions.#meaning i will never be able to love those parts of them either. since they are unknown to me. making the love incomplete and lacking#...hm i rly should not post these thoughtful posts. my insanities ought to be contained inside my mind alone#shion.txt
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