#but in reality i will never be able to have that kind of ideal connection. ever

[shi0n]

i dont really have a yearning for romantic love or affection by itself. but i do feel a dreadful longing when i see anything related to the childhood friends to lovers trope

[rip-quizilla]

You Could Kill Me (and You Should)

Pairing: Vampire!Eddie Munson X Slayer!Reader

Word Count: 16k

Tags: SMUT🔥🔥🔥, dubious consent, memory alteration, reader's pronouns aren't specified, reader has a vagina, oral sex, p in v sex, blood drinking, blood kink, unprotected sex, squirting, dom/sub undertones, vampire sex, references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (but you don't have to be familiar to understand this story)

A/N: please read the tags! This work contains depictions of blood and VERY adult content. Minors, do not interact!

Bat divider made by @saradika ❤️

Hunting on game nights was never ideal. 

There were too many people around… the double-edged sword of vampire hunting. The great throngs of people made it easy for a poor soul to get lost in the fray, so it brought the baddies out into the open. On the flip side of that coin, what made an ideal hunting ground for vamps created a field of landmines for a Slayer. Throngs of people meant infinite chances to get caught in the open with a wooden stake in your hand, and that brought too many questions. 

Still, you could deal with humans; you had been your whole life. Hawkins, Indiana was just like any other town- people would believe what they wanted to believe, and you knew exactly how to spin a story into something they’d find acceptable. 

However, if you got caught out in the moonlight with the specific vamp you were hunting, you knew you’d attract the wrong kind of attention. You wanted to fly under the radar here; it was the only way you’d be able to live here long enough to stave off the influx of demons that liked to slip in time to time from the Upside Down- the hell that waited on the other side of this reality. Not every town was as connected to it as Hawkins was, but then again, not every town sat on top of a Hellmouth. 

A sound from behind you perked up the hairs at the back of your neck. You turned, making sure the brick wall of Hawkins High protected your back as you surveyed the empty courtyard before you. Everyone within a mile radius who still had a beating heart was in the gym, cheering on the Hawkins Tigers in hopes that the subpar basketball team might actually take home a win tonight. 

Well… everyone except for you, whose heart was beating alarmingly fast for someone who had slain so many bloodsuckers that you’d lost count. Why were you this nervous? Aw, who were you kidding, you knew why.

You weren’t hunting just any vampire this time. You were hunting Eddie Munson. 

You steadied your turncoat heart with a slow, deep breath. “Stop kidding around, Munson,” you said, keeping your voice low and eerily calm. “You know why I’m out here and I know you’ll only hurt me if you have to, so let’s just cut the formalities and have a little chat.”

A rumbling chuckle sounded from above, and when your eyes flicked up to the sky they were met with the sight of the most elusive and cunning vamp you’d ever had the displeasure of hunting. 

Eddie Munson. Or, as he was known amongst the town’s community of bloodsuckers, Kas the Bloody Handed. 

“Little chat, huh?” Eddie’s smiling voice echoed from where he sat on the edge of the rooftop above you. “Put away the stake and we’ll talk, Slayer.”

You kept your eyes on him, narrowing your gaze but complying nonetheless. You pocketed the stake, shifting your brown leather jacket to the side and sliding the wooden spike into your waistband. 

Were you dealing with any other vamp, you would have laughed in their face at the demand that you disarm yourself when vampires had nearly every advantage against you. You had Slayer strength, sure- but that was it. These demons had speed, strength, teeth, claws- the fact that sunlight would incinerate them was really their only weakness besides their need for blood. 

Correction- sunlight should incinerate them. Sunlight didn’t affect Eddie Munson. That wasn’t the only thing that didn’t seem to affect him- bloodlust was apparently not an issue either, seeing how he was a student. At a high school. A building just teaming with sweaty, hormonal teens who were just itching to do something stupid- one would assume that a vampire in a place like that would be draining cheerleaders left and right, but not Eddie. In fact, you’d been watching him for months now since you moved to Hawkins, and you’d never even seen him hurt a fly. Hell, you’d seen kids try and beat him up and yet he hadn’t so much as made a fist since the first time you laid eyes on him. 

That was why you’d sought him out tonight- this vampire wasn’t killing people, and it was making you suspicious. 

Once your weapon had been safely tucked away, Eddie hopped down from his insane height at the top of the school building and landed swiftly and quietly on his feet in front of you. He smiled at you lazily, his eyes twinkling with the curiosity and glee that came with sharing a secret.

“Excuse my forwardness, but I’ve gotta know-” Eddie began, hands in his pockets as he slowly sauntered toward you. “-how long did I have you going before you figured me out?” 

You pushed off the wall, casually placing your hands behind your back as you matched his stride in the opposite direction. You were circling each other, two predators locked in a deadly dance. 

“You’re a pretty good actor, Munson.” you replied, voice lighter than air but balanced out by the unwavering rock-solid gaze that remained locked on him. “I might not have figured it out at all if your friend at the hospital hadn’t spilled the beans.”

That got his attention. “Annie ratted me out?” His eyebrows were practically synonymous with his hairline. “Impossible.”

You shrugged. “Apparently HIPAA laws don’t apply to secret bloodbag dealers and their demon customers. In her defense, she was pretty tight-lipped until I had convinced her I wasn’t trying to kill you.”

That stopped Eddie in his tracks. He peered at you through his curtain of moonlit curls, his gaze suspicious and unsure. “You’re not?” 

You stood squarely before him at ease. “Nope.” you replied brightly. “And I don’t think you’re trying to kill anyone either… are you, Kas?”

His suspicion gave way to a blinding smile. “Well someone’s been doing their research!” You blinked and he was inches away, his enhanced speed catching you off guard; you instinctively took a step back before instantly regretting it. Eddie caught your momentary lapse in stature and his grin crept upwards in one corner. “Tell you what, killer, how ‘bout we put a pin in all your fun little Kas facts and cut to the chase, hm?” 

In a flash his hand held your chin firmly. Your grip flew to the back of your waistband, fingertips already caressing the smooth wood of your stake. You mirrored each other, the two of you standing in a twin stance with one foot placed in front of the other a shoulder’s width apart, his hand at your jaw and yours ready to stake the bastard at the first sign of a threat. 

“You’re here to protect people,” Eddie continued, “and I don’t plan on hurting anyone. We can coexist here, it isn’t that complicated.”

“I’m here to slay vampires.” You corrected, but Eddie only grinned and shook his head. 

“See, that’s not true- you would have killed me already.” He leaned in, a smug smile only taking up more space on his countenance. “Ain’t that right, Slayer?”

You’d expected that the decision to let Eddie live would come back to bite you in the ass, but surprisingly enough, nothing changed. 

You went to school. You hunted. You did normal teenager things. Not once did you witness Eddie Munson do a single thing out of the ordinary. 

Well…out of his ordinary. For a bloodsucking demon hiding among human teenagers, he liked attention far more than you’d expected. The more you thought about it, however, the more you saw his reputation for being the town freak as a genius cover. He was hiding in plain sight; any weird behavior would simply be written off as a cry for attention from Hawkins’ resident eccentric. If he wanted to, Eddie could be getting away with a lot more than stolen blood bags. 

So why wasn’t he?

You wanted answers, and surprisingly enough you had a feeling that it wouldn’t take too much for him to give them to you. You just needed to find a private place to ask him. Word travels like wildfire after a drought in Hawkins, and even if Eddie didn’t mind the attention, you on the other hand did. You couldn’t afford for people to start associating you with him, so you’d passed Eddie a note at lunch to meet you out in the woods at the old picnic table.

“Did you know I used to do drug deals in this exact place?” 

His voice sounded wistful as his body weight caused the weakened wooden bench to creak when he sat down with you later that afternoon. “Those were the days, man.”

You snorted. “You mean the days when you were human? Or are you a bloodsucker and a pill pusher? That’s an intersectionality I can’t say I’ve encountered before-”

“Back when I was human, smartass.” He cut you off, rolling his eyes. “Now, why did Hawkins’ shiny new vampire slayer invite me to meet in the middle of the woods? All alone?” he pretended to think it over for a second, feigning epiphany when his eyes widened and his brows shot up his forehead. His voice quivered, apparently auditioning to play the role of the victim in a slasher film. “Are you g-g-gonna k-k-kill me?” He braced his hands against the edge of the picnic table, scrambling to the ground as he amped up the drama while you watched, forcing a smile at bay. 

“P-p-please, don’t s-s-slay me, almighty S-Slayer!”

You snorted, shaking your head, unable to completely stop the ghost of a grin from sliding across your lips. “Having fun?” you snarked.

It took only a millisecond- in a blur of supernatural vampire speed, he was back up on his feet and sitting on the surface of the table. “Lots!” His smile was overwhelming- it was easygoing, unguarded, and above all things it was so human. It was disconcerting.

“The reason I asked you out here,” you said, getting down to business. “Is because I have some questions for you.”

The vampire’s eyes narrowed, that smile staying firmly planted on his lips. “I’m sure you do.”

“How can you be out in the sunlight without bursting into flames?” Every vampire you’d ever encountered would be reduced to ashes if they dared to step out the door in broad daylight, yet here was Eddie Munson- 100% bloodsucker, 100% sitting on a picnic bench and soaking up the rays that filtered in through the cover of tree branches. 

“I know a witch.” Eddie replied, eyes following you as you paced around the picnic table. “She did a spell. Next question?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Who’s the witch?”

“Not telling.” 

“I figured.” you lamented. “Do the blood bags satisfy you as much as fresh blood?” 

Eddie was quiet for a moment, then replied with a curt “They’re enough.”

“Enough to stave off the urge to- I don’t know- murder?”

His head whipped sharply in your direction, expression souring. “Have you seen me kill anyone? In all the time you’ve been here, have you ever seen me so much as harm someone?”

You paused. “No.”

Jutting out his chin triumphantly, he straightened his posture a bit. “Then stick to relevant questions, alright killer?”

You narrowed your eyes on him. “Your bloodlust isn’t relevant?”

He scoffed, tightening his grip on the edge of the tabletop he still sat on, and you could have sworn you heard the wood creaking beneath his white knuckles. “You may not be from Hawkins, but with that self-righteous, bigoted attitude you could’ve fooled me.” His head was hanging down, Eddie’s dark eyes trained on his Reebocks which dangled from where he sat.

When he looked up at you through his long, chestnut curls, the gaze he gave you was so disappointed, so intense, that you actually felt a pang of guilt even though you hadn’t done anything wrong. You’d accused a vampire of having bloodlust. What was there to feel guilty for?

“You’re a vampire, Munson. A demon.” you stated, matter of factly. “You need blood to survive, and you’re a killer by nature-”

“You’ve done more killing in this town than I have,” he laughed humorlessly, his voice tinged with exasperation. “-and I’ve lived here my entire life!” Eddie hopped off the tabletop, shaking his head. “I thought you wanted to have an actual conversation with me, but if you’re here to point out splinters and ignore the stakes, then I’m gone. Go interrogate some other vampire.” 

You stood your ground, watching Eddie walk back towards Hawkins High as you felt that guilt crawl into your chest and start to burrow there. 

You found it ironic that the Hideout was known for both being the bar in town that never carded, and being the bar that vampires frequented the most. It resulted in a clientele that was either immortal or too young to be there. 

Your presence in town had slowed down vampire activity quite a bit, but apparently that hadn’t been enough of a deterrent to rid the dive bar of their undead customers for the night. After a few years of slaying, you’d learned how to distinguish between prey and predator- there weren’t too many people in the bar since it was a Tuesday night, but that only made it easier to single them out. 

You knew what to look for: eyes that swept the room to sort out the hierarchy of those present. Skin that lacked the plumpness and healthy complexion that came with blood running freely through the veins beneath. Behaviors that reflected an intention to single out the weak and alone before isolating them, going in for the kill. 

Unfortunately, they weren’t who you were here for. Tonight, your attendance wasn’t attributed to any run-of-the-mill vampires. 

Funny enough, you were here to see the band. 

You sipped on your glass of cranberry juice, watching warily as tonight’s headliner situated themselves on the small almost-stage in the corner of the tiny bar. Long dark curls shadowed eyes that followed you with equal wariness, unsure of why you were here but intrigued nonetheless. 

Sitting stationary at the bar with your glass sweating in your hand, you took in the spectacle before you- four boys who looked fairly human, setting the crowd ablaze with songs about nonconformity, rebellion, and hellish imagery. Funnily enough, humans and vampires alike were all watching them, heads bobbing to the thrum of the baseline, all of them united in their quest to distract themselves from life- or afterlife- for the night.

You’d always loved how music did that- it brought together folks of all shapes and sizes, political ideals, religions, backgrounds… and it gave them something to agree on. Music made people feel something. Whether you were alive or undead didn’t seem to matter; people loved to feel things.

To your chagrin, you found yourself tapping out the melodies along with the crowd, bouncing your knee in time with Eddie’s band’s music. They were- surprisingly- not bad. The place was small enough that even though you were seated at the bar, you were able to get a good look at each of the band members over the course of their set. You recognized some of them from school- Grant was a nice guy, you had some classes with him. Gareth was… shy? Standoffish? Either way, he kept to himself and away from everyone who wasn’t Eddie- typical behavior for a vampire. Now, seeing the pallor of his skin compared to the lively flush of his bandmates, you were all but sure he was a vampire; one of Eddie’s underlings, no doubt.

You’d figured out as much information about Eddie Munson’s standing in Hawkins’ vampire community as you thought you’d be likely to get, being a vampire slayer in a town fraught with vampires. He was the first to become a vampire the Hawkins way, and that afforded him a certain level of respect among vampires here. Other than that, you were flying blind. 

Vampires existed in many forms across the world- name a continent, and you could rattle off some fun facts about that region’s particular breed of bloodsucker. Some born, some made, some immortal, some not- and they all had their own particular set of characteristics that set them apart and made slaying even more complicated. Eddie Munson had been the first of a new breed of vampire, and that’s why your watcher had sent you here; not only to slay, but to collect data. 

The audience’s applause for Corroded Coffin’s final song faded into a dull chatter and the clinking of bar glasses, and your attention snagged on Eddie as you watched him amble off the stage in your direction. The other band members stayed where they were, shifting around as they began packing up their instruments. Gareth’s eyes stayed on Eddie, narrowing when they crossed over his shoulder and landed on you.

“Didn’t take you for a metal fan, Slayer.” Eddie murmured just loud enough for you to hear him over the din of noisy patrons. 

You shrugged, sipping from your glass. “I listen to a little bit of everything. You guys aren’t bad.” Eddie hopped up onto the stool beside you, nodding to the bartender in a silent exchange. A half second later, Eddie had a freshly opened can of PBR sweating in his hand. 

“Thanks.” He was eyeing you warily, sipping slowly from his can. “So what are you doing here?”

He didn’t bullshit around when there was an elephant in the room… you guessed you appreciated that. “I wanted to see you in your element.”

He snorted into his silver can. “In my element, huh? Wouldn’t that be -I don’t know- catching me in the act of ripping someone’s throat out? Draining the blood from a litter of kittens or something?”

A pang of guilt threatened to nudge its way through to your eyes, but you didn’t let it get that far. “No,” You replied, “you said it yourself, I’ve never actually seen you hurt anyone. Or even try, actually.”

His gaze was measured, eyeing you up and down as if scanning you for some indication that you were planning on staking him right here and now. You waited for him to speak but surprisingly he didn’t, so you continued.

“I’d like to propose a truce.” 

Eddie smirked slightly, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards enough to call into action the dimple hidden in his cheek. “Didn’t know we were fighting, I sure as hell haven’t been getting in your way, have I?”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you’re getting at? You want an apology?” As Eddie’s smirk grew wider, your mouth moved in the opposite direction, lips forming a hard, tense line as you glared at the smug bloodsucking bastard before you. 

“I’m a Slayer. I’ve traveled all over the world with the sole purpose of killing vampires just like you-”

“There are no vampires like me, sweetheart.”

You snorted. “Yeah yeah, you’re so unique, we’re all aware.” You downed the last swig of your drink. “Can I finish now?”

He nodded, that grin still growing along his lips. 

“Every vampire I’ve ever met has wanted to kill people. Forgive me for having my defenses up when I came across one that didn’t.” Eddie’s eyes softened, as did the corners of his mouth. His smug grin now seemed a little more understanding, and maybe a little sympathetic. That last bit made you bristle.

“I’m not saying this for your sympathy, I just want you to know where I was coming from when I made assumptions about your…”

“I believe the term you used was ‘bloodlust’?” Eddie supplied, his tone accusatory but not altogether unfriendly. 

You sighed heavily. “I made assumptions. I’m sorry about that.” 

Eddie tilted his head to the side, digesting your apology. Finally, “Buy a round for me and my band and I’ll forgive you.” 

The stipulations of your truce were laid out the next day at lunch. You were able to convince Eddie to leave his cronies’ lunch table in the cafeteria in favor of a more private place to discuss your terms- the picnic table out in the woods. 

As per your side of the deal, Eddie would provide you a list of names of vampires that he knew followed the same lifestyle as him- purchase blood from his supplier at the hospital, go about their normal lives, and never harm a living soul. You would refrain from hunting any of them.

Eddie’s side of the deal: he promised not to interfere with the slaying of any vampires in town who didn’t subscribe to his way of life; in other words, if they tried to hurt a human or drink from any living animals in town, they were fair game for slaying. In addition, Eddie would provide you any information you needed about Hawkins Vampires, and you would relay that data to the Watchers’ Council for them to enter into their database. 

Unsurprisingly, Gareth Emerson’s name was at the top of Eddie’s list of vampires under his protection. When you saw it, you chuckled.

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Surprised?” 

“Not in the slightest.” you laughed. “The guy clings to your side like a guard dog and barely talks to anyone else. And he always looks like he���s on the verge of ripping someone’s throat out.”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh along with you. “Well, in my defense, he was like that back in his human days too, I didn’t do that to him.” 

You peered over the list at the leather-clad vamp as he lit a cigarette. “But you did do the ‘vamparism’ thing to him?”

“Trust me, it wasn’t a premeditated decision.” Eddie may have sounded aloof, but you could tell that the words were strained. “I had only been…turned…for a couple of weeks at that point. I thought I could handle more human interaction than I really could.”

Your eyebrows jumped a fraction of an inch, but you tried to appear unphased. You hadn’t known too many vampires who could bite a human and manage to stop themselves before killing their victims at that phase of their afterlife. A vampire’s thirst could be nearly impossible to resist for the first few years after their transition, never mind the first matter of days. The fact that Eddie was able to bite Gareth without killing him was… impressive, to say the least. 

Regardless of how impressive it was, however, Eddie’s facial expression spoke volumes to you about how unimpressed he was by his choices at this particular moment in his history. You decided to air on the side of casual empathy. “Could have been a lot worse.” you said, voice soft but matter of fact. “Plus he has you to protect him.”

Eddie looked at you, eyes guarded and yet bursting at the seams with unshed secrets. You could tell there was so much more he wanted to say, but he settled for a simple, solid “Yeah.”

You didn’t pry. If you needed to know more, you’d find it out in due time, but for now you would settle for ‘yeah’. 

The two of you fell into a strange dynamic as your truce was put into effect. For one thing, he made an effort to seek you out in the hallways more; it was troubling, to say the least. You didn’t want people in this town paying attention to you. If they started taking notice of your unusual habits- never getting involved at school, lurking in graveyards and dive bars late into the night, keeping to yourself instead of falling into a friend group like normal teenagers were supposed to- they might start keeping a closer eye on you. A closer eye on you meant a closer eye on the vampires in this town, and the Watcher’s Council would have your head if you became the proverbial Pandora to open the vampire box in Hawkins.

The point was, Eddie was an attention magnet, and his incessant need to interact with you in front of an audience made it difficult to fly under the radar in a town where gossip traveled faster than the average speed limit.

“Slayer!”

His calling you that in the middle of the hallway just after the final bell didn’t help things in the slightest. He was half-jogging through the throng of teens, dodging and weaving between bodies as he made his way to where you stood at your locker with wide eyes trained on the most obnoxious vampire you’d ever had the pleasure of knowing.

“Can you not call me that in the middle of a crowded hallway?” you hissed at him once he’d reached your side. In reality, you knew the chances were slim that anyone within earshot knew what a Slayer was, but you weren’t about to test that theory. 

“Sorry, killer.” Eddie quipped, shit-eating grin loud and proud on his beaming face. “Just wanted to catch you before you left without me.” 

You quirked an eyebrow. “Without you? What, are we carpooling now?”

“Yeah, unless you want to get drenched in the tempest going on out there, sweetheart.” 

Your mouth was open, poised to argue before Eddie wordlessly scooped up your backpack with effortless strength, shouldered it, and began marching down the crowded hallway. He didn’t even wait for you to close your locker, so you had to make quick work of grabbing your books and locking it shut before bumbling after him.

“Excuse me,” you huffed, power walking in an effort to keep up with his quick pace. “Is there something about me that screams ‘I need to carpool with Eddie Munson’? Because if there is, I will happily correct the issue.”

Eddie hop-skipped through the front doors of the school, threw a chuckling look over his shoulder at you, then took off running through the pouring rain in a straight shot to where his van was parked. 

You had no choice but to run in the same direction; he had your backpack. 

In a mad dash through the sky’s heavy onslaught, you shielded your head best you could until you made it to Eddie’s passenger door. The rolling percussion of raindrops on pavement was cut starkly short at the shut of your door, and you breathed a sigh of relief before swinging your head around to look at Eddie Smug-Faced Munson, scowling for all you were worth. 

“There are quite a few ways I can answer your question, Slayer, all of which could get me staked…” He twisted slightly to toss your backpack into the backseat, where it landed on a discarded t-shirt and a mess of paper and spiraled wire that must have been a notebook at some point. When Eddie turned back to you, your faces were mere inches from each other, both of you trusting the center console with your weight. Eddie’s movements stilled, his eyes flitting ever so quickly down at your barely-parted lips. 

You were close enough to hear his soft intake of breath. “Could be worth it, though.” 

Your cheeks heated, and you briefly wondered if vampires felt the stolen blood in their cold bodies rush to places in times of tension. Breaking eye contact, you crossed your arms over your chest, brushing your biceps and shoulders with your hands in an effort to warm your rain-drenched skin.

 “Just drive, Munson. I have a stake in my pocket with your name on it if you try anything.” 

Eddie shook his head, smirking widely. “And here I thought you were just happy to see me.” Shifting the car into drive, he expertly navigated his way out of the parking lot and onto the main road that would take you to the small apartment you currently lived in, courtesy of the Watchers’ Council. 

“You’re hunting tonight, right?” Eddie’s voice cut through the rain-spattered silence in the van, jerking your attention from the hypnotic sight of his struggling windshield wipers. 

“Yes?” Unintentionally, the answer sounded like a question.

“Take me with you.”

You snorted. “You, a vampire, want to go vampire hunting?” 

Eddie shrugged, keeping his umber eyes on the glassy road ahead. “Now that I know there won’t be any innocents on your hit list- yeah, sounds fun.”

You arched an eyebrow. “If I end up staking anyone tonight, you won’t stop me?” 

“Good vampire, remember?” he reminded you, placing a hand over his heart before flashing you a reassuring grin. “If somebody’s out there hurting people, I want them off the streets as much as you do.” 

And that was how you wound up with an undead hunting partner for your nightly patrol of Hawkins for malicious undead. 

Despite being the unlikely duo that you two were, you actually looked like a pair of vampire slayers on a usual patrol- the two of you both wearing combat boots and leather jackets to match. The only tell that this wasn’t your normal routine was the stark silence occupying the space between you. You ended up being the one to finally break it after the first few minutes of patrolling as the two of you strolled through the Hawkins’ cemetery.

“So if we run into some unsavory vampires tonight… how are you gonna kill them?”

“What do you mean, ‘how’?”

“I’m not letting you use my stakes.”

Eddie angled his head toward you, a grin dancing on his lips. “Aw, scared I’ll stake myself on accident, sweetheart?”

“Oh I would consider that a happy accident.” you matched his grin in stride, teasing the tip of your tongue through your teeth. 

“Aw, don’t say that! You know you’d miss me, baby.”

Baby?

You sped up your pace a fraction- just enough for him to leave your periphery. “I am not your baby.” You tried to laugh through your response, but it got caught in your throat, tangling with the words and straining them in a way that sounded less lighthearted than you’d intended.

“Well look at that, I found something that makes you nervous.” You could practically feel his smugness from your two steps ahead. 

“Nothing makes me nervous.”

“I do.” 

You scoffed, speeding up your pace. “You do not-”

In half a second he was in front of you, vampiric speed landing him directly in your way, forcing you to stop short. He was eyeing you down, arms crossed and lids squinted in concentration. “Why’s your heart rate getting faster, then?”

You huffed a breath into the cold air, sending wisps of heat to curl and dissipate as they hit Eddie’s solid form. “Annoyance. Rage. Could be a number of things along those lines.” You sidestepped him, marching forward purposefully. Eddie followed suit beside you.

“Along those lines, you say.” He mused. “Y’know, those lines in particular can get pretty blurry.”

Eddie paused, waiting for you to take the bait. He waited a long time before giving up on that, because under no circumstances did you plan on doing so. 

“The lines,” he continued, “between rage and other feelings of… equal passion.” 

“You saying you want me to more passionately say you annoy me, Munson?” You quipped, refusing to meet his eyes that were practically begging you to look his way. “I will, don’t tempt me.”

“I’m quite sure you’ll find I can be very good at tempting you, baby.”

You huffed, chin whipping to the side to give him a full view of your serious face. “Stop calling me baby.” You regretted looking his way immediately, because those dark eyes were staring you down with an intensity that caused the air to leave your lungs and your voice to falter.

“Yeah… y’know-” Eddie’s grin was shining in full force now, watching you like you were a puzzle he’d just made a breakthrough in solving. “I don’t think I’m going to do that. This is the first time I’ve seen you flustered.”

“Shut. Up.” You muttered, eyes focused on a newer-looking grave about ten feet from the two of you. 

“Hm, sounds like something a flustered person would say-”

“Eddie,” you hissed, already reaching for the stake in your back pocket. “Shut. Up.” 

It took him a second, but he followed your gaze and saw what had you shifting gears- the low, wet sound of something sucking, accompanied by the pat pat of excess blood as it dripped to the cold earth. Slightly obscured by the headstone you’d spotted, a vampire had found some unsuspecting soul to snack on. 

You held your wooden stake aloft, ready to strike. “Ready to watch the master at work?” you whispered under your breath.

Eddie matched your volume, whispering back an encouraging “Hell yeah, go get ‘em, baby.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, carefully advancing “Just shut up and watch my back, Munson.”

“Oh I will gladly do that.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m adorable.”

You arrived home around dawn, just as the sun had begun to peek over the horizon and paint the morning in blushing shades of pinks and purples. Your apartment was a little efficiency located above a pawn shop downtown. The entrance was behind the building, which meant that there weren’t any snooping neighbors to watch you entering your home in the wee hours of the night. In a town like Hawkins, this kind of privacy was a valuable commodity.

Eddie had insisted on walking you home since it was so late- or early- which tickled you to no end since he’d just watched you take down a vampire pretty much single-handedly. He climbed the squeaking fire escape two steps behind you, stopping at the final landing as you began to unlock your door. 

“You can go now.” You told him curtly. 

“You’re not going to invite me in?” You almost laughed; he actually sounded hurt. He was a good actor.

“You act like I haven’t studied vampires every day since I became the Slayer.” You placed your hands on your hips, “As If I’m about to give you an all-access pass to my apartment.”

Eddie laughed, his chuckle a dark and musical thing. “Baby, if I was going to kill you, don’t you think I would have tried already?” His hand was resting on your doorway, blocking the light from the time-yellowed lamp that lit the left side of your doorway and caging you in with his shadow.  

“For all I know, this is you trying.” You stood your ground, arms crossed solidly across your chest, refusing to cower even though he was looking at you like he wanted to wrap his teeth around you.

He leaned forward ever so slightly, eyes heavy and hungry. “Do you think that’s what I’m trying to do?” His gaze flicked to your closed door and back to you in half a second. “You think if you walk through that door and invite me inside, I’m going to try to kill you?”

You studied him for a moment. “No.” You hadn’t meant for the word to come out in a whisper, but that’s what happened anyway.

Eddie’s gaze remained unmoved. “So you’ll invite me in?”

“No.”

A chuckle escaped through the crooked smile that invaded his lips. “So fucking stubborn. You know I can smell you, right?”

You raised an eyebrow, confused. Smell what? Did you work up a sweat fighting that vampire? There’s no way you smelled that bad-

“I can smell you, baby.” His lips were moving against your ear, brushing the little silver rings that decorated your cartilage. “You’re right, you shouldn’t let me inside. But I can smell how curious you are about what might happen if you do.”

You were suddenly very aware of how wet you were- you felt a rush of heat as a fresh wave of slick rushed through you, undoubtedly moistening your panties. He could smell that? You were frozen, at a loss for words that could adequately respond to his insinuation.

Before you could react, Eddie’s hand was on your face, gripping your jaw just tight enough to slightly purse your lips. You felt the cold bite of his silver rings on your skin, sending goosebumps trickling down your spine. He looked you in the eyes, his gaze growing deeper and darker, and you began to relax into his grip as you realized that he truly did not intend to hurt you. 

“You should invite me in.”

His eyes were so beautiful… how had you never noticed them before? They practically glowed… no, they actually glowed. They were like a neon fucking sign, bright and crimson and shining such a beautiful rose-hued glow that they looked more like rubies than irises.

Your lips moved to echo him. “I should invite you in.” Of course you should. He wasn’t going to hurt you- with every second you spent with his skin on yours and his eyes boring into your own, you became even more sure of that. He just wanted to make you feel good- so, so good…

“And are you going to?” Eddie’s voice was so beautiful- how had you never realized how gorgeous his voice was?

“Yes.”

“Good. That’s a good Slayer, unlock the door, baby.”

And you did. It was the easiest decision you’d ever made. You stepped inside, immediately shedding your coat and hanging it on the coat rack by the door. “Come inside, Eddie,” You smiled at him, letting down your defenses. You were so tired of putting them up around him. “It’s cold out there.”

He matched your smile, looking at you like you’d hung the moon. “Well aren’t you just the sweetest thing.” He crossed the threshold easily, following your lead and shrugging off his leather jacket and hanging it beside your own. He glanced around the little apartment, an appraising look in his gaze. It was just one room, a small studio with a modest kitchen and living space. Your modest bed frame sat nestled in the corner beneath a skylight, along with a small armchair and a closet with the few belongings you’d taken with you to Hawkins. 

“Bed looks cozy.” Eddie mused. 

“It is.” 

He nodded towards it. “Go sit on the edge.”

And of course you did. You sat up straight, keeping your eyes on him and waiting for that beautiful voice to say something else. You so wanted him to keep talking; each word was like a warm shower after hours in the cold, relaxing you into a happy little puddle. Eddie watched as you perched yourself on the edge of the bed, slowly stalking across the room until your knees were almost touching his. 

He stared at you, his gorgeous dark eyes glowing deep red. “Open your legs.” You did. Without breaking eye contact, Eddie commanded you again. “Tell me how wet you are for me.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but he raised a hand gesturing stop. “I’m sorry baby, I misspoke.” Placing both hands on either side of your hips, Eddie leaned forward until he was close enough for you to feel his cold breath on your face. “Stick your hand down your panties and feel how wet you are for me. Then tell me out loud.”

You nodded, happy to comply. Your hands were cold, but you didn’t care. You eagerly snaked your hand under the waistband of your pants, shivering as your icy fingers traced a line down your pelvis until they reached the heat beneath your panties. The moment they dipped over the hood of your clit, you were mildly surprised at just how soaked you were.

“Talk to me, baby,” Eddie’s voice washed over you, and you felt a fresh gush of heat pulse through your core. 

“I’m soaked, Eddie.” It was the truth; you couldn’t imagine lying to him when he was so curious. Besides, you wanted him to know that he was reducing you to a deluge in his honor.

Slowly, Eddie sunk down to his knees on your floor. His head was level with your open knees, hands dragging down the skin of your outer thighs as he inhaled the air between your legs.

“Take your fingers out of your pussy, I want to taste them.”

You did as he asked, wide eyes rapt with attention as you watched him grab your wrist and shove your drenched fingers in his waiting mouth. His tongue made you want to melt; it lapped along the skin of your fingers and savored the tart, heady flavor of you. You whined when his lips popped off your hand, but eagerly changed your attitude when his fingers began tracing your waistband.

“Tell me you want me to taste that pretty pussy baby, I can smell how bad you want me already, you smell so fucking good.” 

You did. You wanted him to taste your pussy very badly… you wanted it more than you could remember ever wanting anything before now. “I want you, Eddie.” you panted. “I want you to taste me, I’m so wet for you.”

Eddie’s eyes shone up at you, like light through a glass of dark red wine. “I know, baby, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll have my tongue on you again in a second.” He slid his hands into your pockets, gently yanking on the material and jolting your hips forward. “Take these off for me.”

Your hands flew to the button of your pants, making quick work of them as well as your panties while Eddie helped you remove your shirt. You wanted to bare yourself to him completely, let him devour you whole, even. When you looked into those beautiful eyes, letting him have you just made sense.

You now sat completely naked at the edge of your bed, Eddie kneeling before you taking in the sight and smell of you. His gaze was hungry, his hands tracing possessive lines into your outer thighs. “You’re going to lie back for me,” he said, voice low and commanding, “and I’m going to taste this pussy that’s been leaking for me since I first called you baby in the graveyard.” Your eyes were wide, desperate- stuck on his like a moth to a flame. He pressed his hands to your knees, opening you up as wide as you could go, and you felt his breath on your wet lips.

“Go ahead, Slayer.”

You laid back, staring up at the morning’s gradient of cerulean and lavender through your skylight as your heart began to race from the anticipation. When Eddie’s tongue licked a broad, wet stripe from your entrance to your clit, a reedy, wanting moan pulled from your chest, singing into the stillness of your apartment. 

“That’s it, give me every noise you have, baby. I’ll know if you’re holding any back, and believe me when I say I’ll make you moan one way or another.”

And make you moan he did. Eddie’s tongue was masterful in its movements, licking and flicking in the perfect places as you listened to the symphony of noises that were coming from between your thighs. Between the sound of his wet tongue squelching in the juices that you eagerly supplied and the humming little moans that Eddie made as he feasted on all you had to give him, it was all you could do not to start sobbing from how badly you wanted to cum for him. You knew he’d get you there, but let’s be honest- you were not a patient person. 

“More, Eddie- hngh- please, I need… aah!” Your pleas were cut short as you felt a sharp suck at your swollen clit. You moaned, high and pathetic under the careful ministrations of Eddie Munson. His two middle fingers plunged into you, not bothering to give you time to adjust because he knew you were already wet enough to take him. His fingers curled slightly, sharply jerking his hand up and in, over and over in a way that filled you like a water balloon. You were whining, loudly arching your back into your bed as you squeezed your eyes shut, sensing your climax was fast approaching-

“No,” Eddie lunged forward, his right hand never ceasing its assault as his left grabbed you by the neck, wrenching you forward into a crunch position. “Look me in the eyes while you cum, don’t you fucking close those fucking eyes, baby.”

Your mouth hung open, eyebrows drawn together desperate and needy as you felt yourself getting impossibly wet and impossibly tight. His hand kept going, ruthlessly pounding into you as you screamed his name. Curses tumbled from his lips as he watched you soak his hand, and all the while his other hand stayed curled possessively around your neck. Wetness sprayed from you, and his eyes were downright feral as you squirted all over his face. You watched his smile grow, stretching across his face in triumph and baring his fangs in all their unholy glory before turning his head to the side and opening even wider.

Then he sunk his teeth into your femoral artery, and sucked. 

You moaned- loudly- and then you woke up. 

Being a vampire slayer who’s had a sex dream about a vampire was pretty embarrassing. 

Being a vampire slayer who’s had a sex dream about Eddie Munson was… inconvenient.

When you’d first woken up from… the dream… you’d spent your first waking moments frantically trying to figure out how much- if any- of it had even happened. Had Eddie even walked you to your door, or had you parted ways at the cemetery? Had he actually called you baby? Did he admit he could smell how much it affected you when he’d called you that? Most importantly, had you actually invited him into your apartment? 

It took a few minutes, but eventually you sorted out reality from whatever your traitorous brain had concocted. You and Eddie had hunted last night. He did indeed call you baby at one point and teased you about how defensive you got about it. You’d slayed a vampire while Eddie assessed the victim, and afterward the two of you had taken her to Annie at the hospital and updated her on the situation. With Hawkins’ vampire population growing by the day, this wasn’t the first time she’d dealt with a newborn; she knew what to do. 

After that, you’d gone your separate ways. As far as you knew, Eddie still didn’t know where you lived- though, you knew if he wanted to find out then it wouldn’t be difficult for him to follow you home undetected. The good news was that he still hadn’t been invited into your home, so you were probably safe as long as you were inside your apartment. Of course, the rules for Hawkins Vamps were still mostly unknown to you, so there was a possibility that he might be immune to the invitations-only rule that bound most types of vampires- but you weren’t about to take him home and test that theory.

Then there was the compulsion- the ability to control the minds of humans and turn them into subservient prey at the mercy of their vampiric predator. You had heard of some vampires having this ability, but had never actually come across it in your time as the Slayer. You hoped that this dream had just been the product of loneliness and sexual frustration taking over a sleep-deprived mind, but how could you be sure? Maybe everything in your dream had actually happened, and Eddie had simply compelled you to think it was all a dream. Maybe he had some sort of psychic powers specific to Hawkins Vampires, and he had planted the dream in your brain just to fuck with you. 

You didn’t know what was real. On top of that, Eddie kept trying to get your attention at school the next day and it was getting more and more difficult to ignore him without being obvious about it. You successfully avoided him for the duration of the school day, but he finally caught up to you as you were walking home. Driving his van at a steady crawl, he rolled down his window next to where you walked on the grassy shoulder. 

“You wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me all day?”

You sighed, too chicken to meet his eyes. “I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Yes you have.” 

You sped up your pace, which was stupid because Eddie was literally driving a motor vehicle. 

“No, I haven’t.”

You were still refusing to look at him, but you could hear the eye roll in his sigh. “Quit being difficult, Slayer,” he said, still keeping equal speed with your barely increased pace. “Get in the van.”

“No.” 

“Uugghhh.” Eddie groaned. “Please? I don’t know what I did wrong but I’ll make it up to you.”

You shook your head but still faced forward as you trudged along on the side of the road. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” You didn’t think he had, anyway. “I’m just… I’m in a weird funk today, don’t read too much into it.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Okay, then get in the van.”

You felt your cheeks heat at the thought of being so close to him… just the idea was enough to get you wet. You felt the familiar gush of arousal as you walked even faster. “No.”

An echo from last night’s dream reverberated in your skull. So fucking stubborn. You know I can smell you, right?

You picked up your pace. 

Eddie sighed, jerking the gear shift into park. In a moment, he was inches in front of you, his hand planted firmly on your shoulder. 

“Stop,” he said, his tone much more all-business than before. You did what he said, begrudgingly, but you were glad you didn’t feel any real need to be obedient. No compulsion, then… you thought, at least not right now. 

You slowly looked up at him, hoping he couldn’t smell the effect that his sudden touch had on you. “Eddie, it’s fine. Seriously.” you tried to smile at him reassuringly, but you could feel on your face that it came out looking more like a cringe. 

Eddie was silent, looking you over with an unreadable expression. Finally, he spoke, “Please get in the van. I’ll take you out for food, whatever you want, my treat. If you aren’t going to tell me what I did to make you so mad at me, at least let me make it up to you somehow.” 

You thought it over for a moment, eventually conceding and nodding your head. Eddie exhaled a sigh of relief before turning on his heel to open the door for you. When you were both seated in the car, Eddie looked over to you cautiously, questioningly.

“Milkshakes?”

You nodded, eyes still facing forward. “Milkshakes.”

Benny’s had everything. 

They had the best burgers in town. They had the best fries, the best chicken fried steak, the best pancakes in the morning. But the milkshakes? They were the best you’d ever had- which was saying something, since you’d lived in twelve different small towns just like this one since your Slayer powers awakened four years ago.

You sipped your vanilla milkshake through a red-striped straw and let the sweet, dependable flavor ground you. It was like releasing a breath you’d been holding since you’d woken up that morning. Eddie’s powers of observation didn’t need to be above average for him to notice the relief washing over you.

He sipped his chocolate shake, raising an eyebrow as your shoulders relaxed into your first suck of the straw. “You don’t have to talk about it, sweetheart,” he murmured against the plastic held between his lips, “but if there’s something on your mind, you can talk to me.”

Yeah, but you are the thing on my mind, you thought, and therein lies the problem.

“I appreciate the concern, Munson, but I’m fine.” You shrugged. “Like I said, it’s just a weird funk. Normal. It happens.” 

Eddie didn’t seem convinced, sipping from his straw as he studied you intently- it was making you uncomfortable. 

“Stop staring at me.”

“Stop lying and saying you’re fine, I can tell something’s up.” Eddie reached up with one hand and tapped on one of his dormant fangs with a fingernail. “Vampire senses, remember?”

Your heart rate picked up at the thought of what his vampire senses might be sensing, and you could instantly tell that Eddie had heard it from the subtle tick of his eyebrow. 

“Speaking of vampire senses,” you started, eagerly trying to turn the conversation away from your current state, “I have some questions about your, um… powers. Specifically, about Hawkins vamps in general.”

Eddie seemed surprised by the new line of questioning, but nodded cooperatively. Leaning back in his squeaky booth seat, he let go of his glass to stick his hands nonchalantly in his pockets. “What do you want to know, Slayer? I’m an open book.”

Pulling your legs up to rest on the seat of the booth, you made yourself comfortable, leaning against your backpack that sat between you and the wall. “Are you able to enter someone else’s place of residence without an invitation?”

“Yes.” 

Your eyebrows jumped. “Really?”

Eddie was already nodding. “I already knew my fair share of vampire lore before my stint in the Upside Down… I tested the more popular vampire theories pretty quick after I figured out what I was.” 

You smiled, your curiosity eclipsing the nagging worry in your chest regarding his answer to your first question. “Which theories?”

Eddie chuckled at himself, making a show of counting them out on his fingers. “Well, the first was running really fast- really, really fast, I mean you’ve seen me-” Your scoff and eye roll earned you a cheeky wink from the vampire. “-tested out how good my hunting skills were in the forest by hunting down some squirrels, and let me tell you, super speed and super hearing can only get you so far, because those motherfuckers are always on alert. Learned how quiet I can be now, which is weird because staying still and silent has never been my strong suit.”

“That doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.” you snorted. “And you told me the sunlight thing doesn’t bother you because of your witch friend- what was her name, again?”

“Nice try, but I’m still not telling you.”

You smiled, throwing your hands up in mock surrender. “Worth a shot, I’ll find out eventually anyway.” Taking a sip of your milkshake, you kept your voice even as you asked your next question, which was arguably the most important to you at the moment. “So, uh, are there any other powers that you’ve noticed? Powers that don’t fit into the ‘popular vampire theories’ umbrella?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Such as?”

Ugh. “Well,” you began, focusing on a spot on the table where the vinyl coating had begun to peel off and using your fingernail to help it along. “In some regions, there are vampires who can read minds or compel humans to do whatever they say. Some can even bite humans without turning them.”

“Damn,” Eddie whistled, “lucky bastards.”

“So you’re saying you can’t do those things?” you prompted, to which Eddie shook his head and sighed. 

“Nope. First and last time I bit someone, I turned my best friend into a monster. Didn’t feel like testing that theory anymore after that. Can’t read or control minds either, but honestly I’m fine with that. That kind of power doesn’t tend to end well for people.”

You nodded, sipping the final bit of milkshake down. “Wise words.” 

Eddie did the same, fishing out his wallet and slapping a ten dollar bill on the table before standing. “They’re the words of someone who’s flown close enough to the sun to know himself pretty well by now.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and nodded towards the door. “You ready?”

“Yeah,” you stood and followed him, catching the door as he opened it for you. “Thanks for the milkshake.”

“Don’t worry about it, consider it an apology.”

“I told you, you didn’t do anything! I’m just in a funk-” but if Eddie could hear you, he didn’t show it as he jumped into his van and closed the door. 

The drive to your apartment wasn’t long, only about five minutes. Approaching your front door with Eddie in tow gave you the strangest sense of deja vu even though the only time this had happened before was in your dream. You stood with him in the doorway, the warm light of your single-bulb lamp casting harsh shadows across his face as he watched you with eyes tinged with something imperceptible. 

“Gonna invite me in?” Eddie asked, his voice husky and eerily quiet in the cold air. 

You smirked, feeling slightly apprehensive knowing that he didn’t need an invitation, but was asking for one anyway. “Why, you trying to snoop through my things, Munson?” 

Eddie snorted, “We both know that I could if I wanted to, sweetheart, and I wouldn’t need your permission.” He shrugged, leaning a shoulder against the chipping paint on your doorframe. “I’m just trying to be a gentleman.”

“Since when has that been your priority?” you bit back, but there was no venom in it. You were already jiggling your key into the brass lock and turning the knob. You weren’t sure why Eddie wanted to come in, but he was right- if he had malicious intent, he could barge into your home whether you wanted it or not. You made a mental note to request some demon-repellent poultices from a witch friend of yours to remedy that…

The door creaked open, and you tried to shake off that wild feeling of deja vu that kept washing over you with every similarity to your dream that kept occurring. Eddie’s boots thumped against the floorboards, heavy souls claiming the aging wood with every step they took. He surveyed your apartment, assessing what he saw with nods of his head and crossing of arms. 

“Well I can tell you don’t plan on staying long.” he mused.

You raised an eyebrow, closing the door and locking it behind you. “What makes you say that?”

“The walls are empty. Nothing in here looks like you picked it out. I didn’t know better, I’d think I was in a hotel room. ”

You raised your eyebrows, nodding. “Perceptive. You’re not wrong, you know. I don’t usually stay in one place very long.”

“What’s the longest your wardens have let you stay in one place?” Eddie had hopped up on your tiny kitchen counter, his arms straining against the fabric of his leather jacket as he braced his hands on the ledge. You hoped he hadn’t noticed the way your eyes lingered on the way your dim lighting glinted off his bicep. 

“Watchers. Not wardens.” you corrected, shedding your own leather and dropping the coffee-colored jacket over the edge of your bed. “And it’s never been more than a year. If you want to get technical, I think I was in Las Vegas for around 11 months.”

He quirked a curious smile. “Vegas, huh? Lot of vampires there?”

You shrugged. “Tons of tourists to munch on and nothing but nightlife. Believe me when I say that city is run by vampires.” 

Eddie chuckled, “Guess that makes sense.” He looked down, as if he were debating whether or not to say whatever he was thinking at the moment. Then- “Any idea if… well, have they told you if you’ll be here long?”

You smiled; it was a small, tentative thing, but you allowed it to grace your lips. “I’ll probably just stay until the council is happy with the knowledge I’ve accumulated about Hawkins vamps. Once they feel I’m needed more elsewhere, I’ll be packed up and moved within days.” You averted your eyes from his, suddenly finding it difficult to voice the reality that any day, you might have to leave Hawkins. Leave the friendship you’d started to get the slightest bit attached to. 

You heard Eddie scoff- it wasn’t bitter or laced with venom, but it was hollow. An empty, breathy laugh that didn’t do much to cover the vulnerability he had shown by simply bringing up the subject of how long you’d be staying. “Well, you know what they say- hate to see you go, love to watch you leave.” 

It was an attempt at glossing over the mournful mood that’d begun lingering in the air. You looked up at him, brows pulling together in a hopeful, sweeping arch. “You really hate to see me go?”

The smile he’d plastered on was devious and smart-mouthed, but it softened at your question. “Yeah…” he said, his voice lower and rounded as he stroked his fingers along his jawline. “...I think I hate it.” His head stayed down while his slitted eyes looked up at you beneath bushy brown brows. “I was just getting you to like me.”

Now it was your turn to scoff. “Who said I liked you?”

“Your heart rate.”

Well, if it wasn’t true before, it was now. You felt all the blood in your body suddenly rushing through your veins with purpose. The room was feeling surprisingly hot, and you absently pondered whether you had left the heater on when you had left that morning. 

Your voice matched his quiet timbre, “And what’s my heart rate saying?”

He slowly stepped down from his perch on the countertop, stalking toward you with care, as if he were approaching a wild animal. 

Ironic.

“Well,” he started, “something in your brain obviously must have told your heart that you might have to run soon, because your blood’s been racing since I walked through that door.” He took a step closer, and now all you had to do was look up and your faces would be parallel, his eyes boring into yours. “Your body still knows I’m a predator, that’s good.” 

He was right. Your blood was racing under his gaze, and he could undoubtedly feel the heat that was radiating off of you- but that didn’t mean you were ready to openly let that show. “What about you? Big and scary ‘Kas the Bloody Handed’?” you asked. “How does your body react around a vampire slayer?”

Now you looked up. He was glaring down at you, pensive and predatory as a cheshire grin slowly crept across his features. “That depends on how much blood I’ve got in me, sweetheart.” You were leaning against the edge of your tiny excuse for a kitchen island, but now that his hands were planted on both sides of your torso and braced along the tiled edge of the countertop, you felt caged in with nowhere to go and nothing to look at except his eyes as they glowered down at you. “If it’s been a while since I've fed… well, to be honest I get a little hungry.”

Breathe.

“And if you’ve had your fill?”

He chuckled. “Oh, baby, if a vampire ever tells you they’ve had their fill, they’re lying. There is always room for more.” You felt a chill, and the blood in your veins was screaming at you now to grab a fucking stake!! However, you couldn’t seem to tear yourself from this conversation. The way he made you feel- hot, ironically enough- was gluing you to the spot. 

“But if I’ve got some blood in my system,” he continued, “I have to confess, Slayer, just seeing the way you look at me is enough to make all of that blood rush to all sorts of places.”

You were both silent, but the air was pregnant with the question he knew you wanted to ask. A few short breaths were all it took to make you give in. “And… how do I look at you?”

His thumbs ventured to brush over your hips through the material of your jeans, and you jumped at how much the contact affected you. You took in a sharp breath in surprise, and the strained sigh that rumbled through his chest in response nearly made you shudder. 

“Like… a fox that knows it’s being hunted. Wants to be hunted…knows it could outsmart the hunter, but wants the chance to run simply for the thrill of it.”

Fucking. Breathe.

“Is this your way of saying you’re hunting me?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, like the tension between the two of you was so fragile that it could be shattered if you spoke loud enough.

Eddie’s lips were inches from yours, and you could feel his cold breath on your cheeks. “This is my way of saying that I don’t need to.” He nodded sharply in your direction, “Fox.” He squeezed your hips, tugging you gently closer to him, “Trap.”

You squirmed under his gaze but refused to look away from his smoldering eyes. “Bold of you to assume I’m the fox in that scenario.”

“Yeah, yeah…” his husky whisper rasped into your ear when the soft brush of his fingers along your hips became a firm grasp as he effortlessly lifted you up to sit on the counter behind you. He did it so swiftly, so easily… it wasn’t hard to forget about his vampire strength when he barely showed it. He gazed into your wide eyes with a grin that was playful but hungry. “Big bad Slayer is a hunter, not hunted. We’re all aware, sweetheart.” 

His hands splayed atop your thighs, and you couldn’t remember a time before now that you had felt anything as acutely- or with as much anticipation- as you were feeling every inch of him touching you right now. Your inner calves touching the outer sides of his thighs. The knobby contact of his hip bones where they wedged between your knees. The way his fingertips pressed into the meat of your thighs ever so slightly, like he feared how hard he could squeeze before he hurt you. 

You watched his hands, breathless as you studied the light that glinted off his silver rings. There were splotches of faded black shining on a few of his fingernails. It wasn’t nail polish; you’d seen how he colored on his nails with black Sharpie when he got bored in class. Those black nails shone reddish-purple when the light hit them just so, and you shivered as they traveled further up your thighs until he reached the part of your hips that had the most flesh for him to squeeze. A low growl danced in his throat when he heard the noise that escaped you at the sensation his hands were supplying.

He squeezed tighter, tentatively testing how much of his strength you could handle. Luckily for him, slayers are not delicate creatures. 

Wordlessly, you lifted your hands to his shoulders, letting your fingers twist into his dark curls. They were beautifully brown, frozen in the perfect shade of chocolate until the end of time. Your nails gently met his scalp, raking through the roots until both of your hands were nested deep in his hair. 

You made two fists and pulled. 

It wasn’t a sharp tug, wasn’t meant to yank him away from you; it was a slow pull, meant to tease and tell him that you weren’t afraid of a little pain, given or received. He was testing the waters, and you were giving him the all-clear. 

His eyes screwed shut when you pulled his hair, and it wasn’t from any sort of pain but simply from the fact that you were doing it in the first place. Eddie took a deep, shuddering breath as he opened his eyes once again to glare up at you with enough impassioned heat to give his bloodless body a temperature. He clenched his jaw until it ticked, then mumbled “alrighty then” so quickly and quietly that you didn’t even know if you were meant to hear it.

And then he was slamming you against the wall. 

Your thighs straddled his waist, ass seated in Eddie’s stone-strong hands as you felt your back hit the drywall. His eyes were pitch black, hungry for so many things but settling for your lips as he captured them in his own. You kissed him back fervently, desperate now that you knew his touch and the sensations that came with it. 

“God you smell so fucking good,” Eddie growled, pressing into you at the waist and pinning you to the wall where he held you tightly. His lips were insatiable, kissing you like your lips were dipped in sugar and he was a starving man. He panted against your mouth, breathless. “Always smell so fucking good… might be obsessed, I want…want…”

“Want what, Eddie?” you panted with him, eyes fluttering open, wanting to see the way he looked at you when he said things like I might be obsessed as he kissed you… who wouldn’t want to see that? You weren’t disappointed with the sight.

Framed by the backlit baby hairs that formed an evening halo around his head, you might have thought at first glance that Eddie looked angelic. Oh, how wrong that would be. His eyes held far too much gluttony for that.

He leaned in to scent the crook of your neck, causing you to shiver as the tip of his nose traced the base of your skull before whispering into your ear-

“Want to taste you- in every way-” You shivered. “-I want to feel you on my tongue, running down my throat, soaking my hands, falling apart…” Eddie’s lips traveled down your neck, mouthing over the veins that pumped your life force at top speed under sweet, pliant skin. “I want to break you just to know what you look like broken by me.” 

The two of you were waltzing on the line of your collective self-control, and you knew all it took would be one little bite- one tiny prick of his fangs- and his venom would pour into your bloodstream. Then it would be goodbye, humanity.

Mustering up the slightest amount of dignity (with surprising difficulty), you took one hand out of his hair and braced it on his shoulder while the other stayed fisted in his curls. With a sharp tug, you used your Slayer strength to remind him he was evenly matched here, yanking him from your neck and bringing his bloodlust-glazed eyes parallel to yours. 

“Fucking try it then.” you hissed, “See if you can break me.”

Eddie’s familiar roguish grin triumphantly returned then, and you barely registered his nasal scoff and a rush of wind before you were suddenly being flung onto your bed across the apartment. Eddie climbed on top of you, caging you in with solid arms and a scarlet guitar pick that dangled from his neck to dance on the skin of your collarbone. 

He stared down at you expectantly, all-business. “Take your shirt off.”

“You take yours off.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Are you really in a position to be giving the orders, Slayer?”

In a split second, you grabbed his wrists and hooked a leg over his hip, rolling over in the blink of an eye. Now, you were seated firmly on his hips, back arched to splay over his torso and pin his wrists to the mattress. Eddie’s eyes widened, caught off guard by the sudden display of strength and dexterity that he had apparently forgotten you had. 

You grinned, cocky. “I am now.” 

Eddie glared, thrusting upward in hopes that he might throw you off balance, but to no avail. Rotating his hands in your grip, Eddie dexterously took hold of your wrists and gently pressed his nails into your skin. You winced; his nails were sharper than you’d thought they would be. Almost like…

Claws. Eddie’s nails had grown into catlike points, and now they were applying a little too much pressure. Any more than this and he would surely draw-

“-Blood.” 

You whispered to yourself as you watched the bright bead pooling where Eddie’s thumb had pressed hard enough to puncture skin. Before you had time to react, Eddie was pulling your bleeding wrist to his face, inspecting his handiwork up close. He caught a whiff of your scent, inhaling deeply before exhaling so heavily that it rumbled low in his chest. Bringing your wrist to hover above his mouth, you felt your survival instincts kicking in as Eddie’s grip on your arm tightened, squeezing more of your blood to pool into the drop that now hung precariously from the cut in your skin. 

Eddie’s finger on the top of your wrist raised, then firmly tapped down hard enough to shake the drop free and send it falling into his waiting mouth below. 

You watched, transfixed as Eddie moaned at the taste of you on his tongue. He licked his lips, spreading your blood across them and letting your essence settle into the cracks in his skin. You wondered how long his lips would taste like you after tonight. Would it only take moments for the flavor of you to leave his skin? Or would he still taste you in the morning?

Eddie’s eyes rolled back in his head, his composure slipping under the influence of your blood in his mouth. He pulled your wrist to his mouth and licked greedily at the tiny puncture wound, gently sucking but still staying careful enough to keep his fangs far away from the opening. You were trusting him to be responsible here, as stupid as that was, but so far he seemed to be completely aware of where the line was, and he was careful not to cross it. Test it, maybe… but he wouldn’t cross it. At least you were hoping he wouldn’t.

His gaze settled on yours, and you found yourself at a loss for words. He smiled proudly, slowly sitting up until his face was even with yours. You’d long since let go of your grip on his other hand, and now that your bones were suddenly jelly, it was easy for Eddie to lift both hands to your neck and slot both of them so that his thumbs and pointers rested on either side of your ears. He pulled your lips to his, kissing you passionately and sharing the taste of your own blood from where it still lingered in his mouth. 

“Tastes like fuckin’ honey.” He murmured against your lips, tongue snaking out to lick into you, and you couldn’t tell if he was referring to the taste of your lips or the taste of your blood. You recognized it in his kiss- the metallic flavor rolling over your taste buds and awakening something primal in you. Your hips bucked into his, and you felt the solid length that ached for you through his jeans.

Eddie chuckled darkly, rolling his hips into yours in response. “Careful, baby.” You felt his lips lowering, placing gentle wet kisses along your throat. Your heart raced to a bounding pulse as it dawned on you that were he to bite you here, he could kill you quite quickly. “Mmmmmm,” you shivered as his voice reverberated through your neck. “I can feel your blood rushing faster. That just for me?” 

You forced yourself to breathe as you confirmed his suspicions with a small nod. Eddie sighed, hot breath pluming from his nostrils and across your skin. “Just for me… all for me…” His tongue emerged once again and licked a fat, wet stripe along the center of your neck, and you couldn’t stop the desperate moan he pulled from you at the sensation. His hand slid down for his thumb to make slippery caresses over the trail of spit he’d left behind. 

“I’ve never tasted blood this good, sweetheart. It’s… I don’t know how to describe it, it’s like the way you smell, but better.” His thumb pressed ever so gently into your throat, and you felt the tip of his sharpened nail rake a promise against your skin. Eddie kept it there, pausing for a moment, and you realized with a pang of emotion that he was trying to stop himself from asking for more. 

You allowed the slightest bit of tenderness to break through to your exterior, smiling gently at him as you leaned into his touch. “It’s okay,” you whispered, “I can trust you not to take too much, right?” 

The lights were dim, but you could see enough of Eddie’s face to make out the glowing smile your trust had elicited. His hands curved gently along the back of your neck, cradling the base of your skull as he pulled your forehead to rest against his own. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

So much warmth flooded your chest at Eddie’s praise that it almost scared you. You knew this wasn’t compulsion- you felt complete control of your body and mind, and felt aware of your ability to tell him no. In fact, you knew in your heart that if you told him that you wanted to stop everything now, he would obey without a second thought, bid you goodnight, and walk right out that door. 

But you definitely did not want that to happen.

That much was made clear by the pornographic moan that tumbled from your lips as Eddie’s claw drew a single, shallow gash down the center of your neck. His hand slotted under your jaw, applying enough pressure to hold off the blood flow above your neck for the fewest of seconds. Blood pooled in the cut, and Eddie admired his handiwork with hungry fascination. 

“Gorgeous…” he muttered, leaning closer. Your heart was racing, undoubtedly causing the blood to rush even faster to your neck, and when you heard Eddie fucking inhale the scent of your blood like it was a perfectly aged Bordeaux? It started beating out a marathon. 

The moment your scent hit his nostrils, you shivered as a guttural, primal rumbling rolled from Eddie’s chest. The growl grew into a moaning sigh as you felt his warmed wet lips envelop the base of the cut on your neck, and lick into the life that pooled there. 

He sucked, pulling more into his mouth and you whimpered slightly from the sensation. As if to comfort you, his hands slid a little further down so that they cupped the vertebrae at the back of your neck, and it was strange how you could almost feel his touch getting warmer the more blood he took from you. He pulled your neck closer, hungry for all you had to give him.

For a moment you started to worry, fearing that you may have overestimated Eddie’s control over his bloodlust, but your worries were put to rest when he detached himself from his latch and licked up the minimal mess that he had made. 

“Let’s get this off of you, Slayer.” 

Eddie’s hands snuck underneath the hem of your shirt, causing you to shiver at the sensation of cold fingers on heated flesh. Before long, You were both stripped down to nothing and panting with need, a tangle of hands and lips and pulses as you melted into each other in the moonlight. He pushed you gently onto your back, climbing over you slowly and with purpose. You felt the hard length of his naked cock bounce against your thigh as he did, and the anticipation you began to feel between your legs was hot and wet, dripping from your lips as if it were salivating for him. You bucked up involuntarily, eliciting an amused chuckle from the vampire on top of you. 

“Easy, baby,” Eddie cooed, “starting to think you only invited me in for one thing.”

“Oh blow it out your ass.” you rolled your eyes at him, “Don’t pretend you weren’t hoping for that one thing exactly.” 

Eddie smiled, a twinkle in his eye launching your heartbeat into overdrive as he planted a quick peck to the cut on your neck and began to lower himself further south. “I may have had a hunch, yeah.” You watched with rapt attention as his face drew closer and closer to where you wanted him most, the echo of your dream still potent in your memory. What similar talents might the Eddie from your imagination have shared with the Eddie that currently studied your glistening pussy as if it were a delicacy to devour?

In your heart of hearts, you knew that every move you’d made tonight since Eddie walked through that door was absolutely insane. Masochistic, even. But your own idiocy was no match for the ecstasy that hit you when Eddie’s dextrous tongue dove into your folds, twisting and lapping up the essence that he craved in ways that sent waves of pleasure coursing through your arching form. 

You moaned, writhing under his touch as his tongue glided over the dripping lips of your core, savoring the flavors of your arousal and the way they paired with the taste of your blood that still lingered in his senses. 

“Taste so fucking good, sweetheart, goddamn.” Eddie’s voice was muffled, wet and hot in the way he spoke it into you and moved his lips along your pussy to speak the words. The sensation coupled with the commentary all but broke you, and you mewled a bewildered thank you as he continued his ministrations. 

A sharp sting jolted you, ripping your eyelids open- you didn’t even remember closing your eyes- and it took a second to realize that Eddie had used his sharpened nails to create another gash at your inner thigh. It stung, but only slightly, so you assumed the cut must not be too deep. 

“Sorry, sweetheart, did that hurt?” Eddie’s voice was soft and sympathetic as his fingers toyed with the small wound, gently pinching and pressing to undoubtedly coax more blood for him to enjoy. 

“Little bit,” you whispered, and the voice that came out of your mouth was so high-pitched and airy that you hardly recognized it. “-but it’s not bad. It’s not too deep, right?”

“Nah, barely even a scratch.” Eddie assured you. “Besides, I’ll close it in a second anyway.” 

Your head popped off the pillow. “You can do that?”

“Check your neck, sweetheart.” 

You brought a hand to the place where Eddie’s cut had been, but were amazed to find that the cut was completely gone. You felt nothing but smooth, unscathed skin in its wake. Bemused, you checked the cut at your wrist and found it had healed as well.

 “How did you do that?”

Eddie shrugged, the pads of his fingers beginning to draw idle shapes over your clit, mixing your blood with the wetness of your cunt. “Apparently, all I have to do is lick a scratch and it heals itself within minutes.” You jolted when you felt his lips close around your clit and suck, whining at the suction as he drew the mixture of your flavors into his mouth and hummed in satisfaction. 

“Now if you don’t mind,” he murmured, “I was in the middle of something down here.”

You barely had time to nod before he was diving back between your legs, lapping up your essence with an urgency that lay somewhere between passionate purpose and reckless abandon. He alternated, going back and forth between the bloodied gash on your thigh and the shimmering lips of your dripping cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you whimpered, arching into the mattress as he moaned into you at the intensity of your taste. “More, please… I need… inside-” 

In a blur of movement, Eddie’s face was level with yours, and you were staring directly into his lust-blown eyes as his cock nudged its head between your folds. Eddie shuddered at the feeling, closing his eyes as ecstasy overtook him and he slowly sheathed himself completely into you. 

“Hoooooly shit, sweetheart-” Eddie gritted out through clenched teeth. His arm reached behind your shoulders, pulling you flush against him and bringing his mouth to hover mere inches from your ear. “Fucking made for me, so fucking tight.”

When Eddie began to move, your hips bucked to meet him instinctively. In your current position, Eddie had you caged in and wrapped in his arms, held in place as he thrusted into you and grunted sweet, filthy nothings into your ear.

“Feel so good squeezing my cock, baby.”

“Wrap your legs around me, don’t let me leave.”

“God, you smell so fucking good, can still taste you on my lips.”

“Such a good little vampire slayer. Take it all, sweet thing.”

You were getting closer with every word; each whispered praise in your ear made you tighten more and more, but you weren’t quite there yet. As if he could read your mind, Eddie’s hand snaked down between your naked bodies until his middle finger came to rest on your throbbing clit. Careful to keep his claws from scratching the sensitive area, the soft pad of his finger slipped small circles over the wanting bud. 

You mewled, eyes rolling back at the combined sensations. The stimulation was overtaking every sense, numbing you to everything but the climb of your orgasm that awaited you on the other side of the peak you were climbing. 

“You know what’s crazy, Slayer?” 

Eddie’s voice was husky in your ear, and you’d barely registered what he’d said before he continued. 

“I didn’t even need the power to control your mind. Didn’t need to make you want me like this, you did that all yourself.”

You struggled to comprehend what he was getting at, but a particularly forceful thrust caused a sharp moan to leap from your lips. Eddie laughed, and it was somehow both musical and malicious all at once.

“Dreams are funny things… I showed up just to see what would happen, thinking ‘hey, there’s no way in hell she’d have me, right? But maybe in my dreams’...” Eddie chuckled ruefully, shifting slightly to angle his cock further into you and moaning at the way you gripped him tighter when your leg was tilted just so. 

Your eyebrows knit together, confused. What did he mean he showed up? As in, showed up in your dream? Your mind was reeling, spinning in the midst of the jumbled logic of his words and the mounting pleasure his cock was driving into you.

“But it wasn’t even in my dreams that you wanted me, it was yours… in your dream you gave in to me so easily, practically begged me to tell you what to do…”

What? What was he… was Eddie saying what you thought he was saying? You squirmed, trying to lift him so you could look him in the eyes, but he held you in place- immobile and at his mercy. Your eyes widened as you stared up at the skylight in your ceiling. The moon was full tonight, and it stared down at you unwaveringly as Eddie continued to thrust into you and hit that spongy spot within your cunt over and over and over.

“The compulsion was a great touch, I hadn’t even thought of that until your delicious little brain took a turn for the kinky.” You could hear the smile on his panted words. “One dream told me all I needed to know… you wanted me just as bad, Slayer. Wanted- needed- permission to just let go and admit you wanted the bloodsucker’s cock, didn’t you?”

“Y-you….ah! Oh, fuck!” 

You tried to respond, tried to tell him you needed a second to process what he was telling you, but before you could get more than a word out his finger began to work your clit at a pace so rapid, only a demon like him was capable. If you didn’t know better, you would think he’d pulled out a vibrator. That was how fast he was able to rip your orgasm from its precipice and make you spasm out of control around his cock.

“Shit!” You clenched at the sinful sound of Eddie’s voice in your ear as he unraveled inside of you. “Holy- I’m cumming, baby, fuck-” He continued to thrust into you as he rode out his orgasm, murmuring into your neck, “...mine. Fucking mine…”

Your eyes stared unblinking at the moon as you clenched around Eddie’s throbbing dick, mind beginning to flood with post-sex clarity as soon as your orgasm began to calm. Your chest felt like it was clawing at your heart, trying desperately to rip out the offending organ for overtaking the control that your brain was supposed to have had this entire time. Your instincts had tried- god, they’d fucking tried- to tell you not to trust the demon inside you, and yet here you were. Pinned to your own bed with his seed dripping from the most intimate parts of you, and you’d fucking invited him in. 

How much of your attraction to him had been you, and how much had been him? You’d asked him so many questions this very night about his powers, what he was capable of- and he’d glossed over a very important piece of information by omitting the fact that he could make appearances in your fucking dreams. 

Before you could even voice even one of the questions that swirled around in your head, Eddie’s eyes were hovering over yours, the moonlight dancing in a ghostly halo along his silhouette. 

“Listen to me, Slayer.”

His eyes were pitch black, and you found yourself missing the brilliant ruby red they’d shone in your dream. Maybe that’s all tonight was? Just a horrible dream, and the one person you’d considered a friend in this godforsaken town was still someone you could trust. 

“I’m going to get you cleaned up, you’re going to get under these covers, and then you’re going to go to sleep.” You heard him take a breath; felt his shaking exhale on your face. “When you wake up in the morning, you’ll forget everything that happened since I walked through that door.”

You blinked, listening intently. Obediently.

“I walked you home, said goodnight at the door, and left. Then you went inside, locked your door, and went to bed. Repeat it back to me.”

“You walked me home, said goodnight at the door, and left.” Your lips moved seamlessly of their own accord, parroting his own story back to him as you stared into those bottomless black eyes. “Then I went inside, locked the door, and went to bed.”

Eddie stared at you a moment, and there was something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite read. It suddenly dawned on you that his eyes weren’t normally black or red. They were brown. You missed how pretty those brown eyes were. They were sweet; honest. Trustworthy eyes.

Finally moving after a few seconds of watching you intently, searching your face for something he evidently couldn’t find, he leaned forward and tenderly kissed your forehead.

“Good.” he whispered, low and tired. “That’s good, sweetheart.”

The night played out exactly as Eddie said it would. He cleaned you up, taking the time to make sure he’d kissed every nick he’d made in your skin until there wasn’t a wound in sight. He watched silently as you cleaned your face, donned a soft shirt so large it reached mid-thigh, and slid under your covers. Eddie kissed you softly before wordlessly locking your doorknob from the inside and exited your apartment. You heard him double check the lock and leave once he was satisfied with your safety. 

Then you fell asleep.

Eddie had only dreamwalked a few times before he’d realized that his newfound vampirism gave him the power to manipulate the dreams that he’d recently gained the ability to stumble into.

It had started when he’d heard Wayne sleeping restlessly in the living room of their trailer, tossing and turning on the couch with his forehead pinched with worry. Eddie had wanted so badly to ease his pain, and before he knew it he was watching his uncle’s nightmare playing out around him like he’d stepped onto the set of a film. He’d seen his own gravestone, seen Wayne tearing at the dirt until his fingers bled, and wanted nothing more than to alleviate his uncle’s pain- that yearning on his part had evidently been enough to cause the scene to shift in his favor. The grave had sunken into the ground, the sky changed from stormy gray to sunny blue, and the bed of dirt had become a gingham blanket, upon which sat a significantly happier Wayne and a sticky-fingered Eddie at age four holding a PB&J that was oozing out the sides.

It was at this moment that Eddie had started thinking that maybe these powers he’d gained might not be all bad.

He hadn’t realized he had the ability to manipulate memories until the first time Gareth had lost control and killed that girl from U.S. History.

She’d asked Gareth to meet her behind the bleachers after school, and Eddie had told him not to go, told him not to risk it, but Gareth was so fucking stubborn. The girl was cute, and the idiot had thought he could handle it. By the time Eddie had realized Gareth had ignored his warnings, it was too late.

Eddie had been so close to cleaning everything up seamlessly, and then some cheerleader had to go and stumble upon Gareth, Eddie, and the bloodless corpse of that poor girl. Eddie’s instincts had taken over, and before he knew it he’d grabbed the cheerleader by the shoulders and used every ounce of willpower he could muster to convince her that she hadn’t seen them at all, and in fact what she had actually seen was U.S. History girl walking into the woods behind the school. 

It had been a desperate, kneejerk reaction, and Eddie had had next to no confidence it would work, but the next day he’d been amazed to hear that exact story being repeated through the rumor mill word for word. It gave Eddie and Gareth the cover they’d needed to take the girl’s body to the Upside Down and hide it where no one would think to look. 

His abilities were handy tricks to have, sure… but it scared him. Eddie didn’t like that every new power he discovered within himself gave him a new way to get away with something awful. Eddie didn’t trust himself enough for that knowledge to sit well with him. 

Now, he sat in the cafeteria at his usual table with Gareth, eyes sweeping the room for your face. He hadn’t seen you in the halls yet today, and even though he had every reason to be confident that you wouldn’t remember last night, he’d never tried to erase memories from a Slayer before. Maybe you had some sort of mental defenses against him? Maybe you were already waiting at his trailer, stake in hand? The unknown of it all was stressing Eddie out. 

That’s what he was feeling- stress. Not guilt. Eddie had hardened his undead heart enough that he didn’t feel guilty for things like this anymore. If he had been completely honest about his powers at Benny’s, there’s no way you would have trusted him after that. After being an active player in your wet dream without your consent?  He didn't know many people who wouldn’t hate his guts after that- hell, he hated his own guts after that. He was a horny creep who’d violated you in more ways than one, and there was no way anyone could forgive him for that. Why should you?

He could have been honest about his memory manipulating abilities, but the idea of giving that secret away had simply scared him too much. It was easier to keep that in his back pocket, and wasn’t that what you always had against him, after all? A wooden stake, always ready and waiting as a last resort. A failsafe. 

No. Eddie didn’t feel guilty. For the sake of his own self-preservation, he couldn’t. 

As if on cue, Eddie perked up when he saw you enter the cafeteria. Act casual, he reminded himself. He couldn’t act like anything was out of the ordinary, but at the same time he needed to be sure you remembered nothing. Then he could move on, not feel as… stressed. 

He watched you discreetly, looking up from his crumpled bag of pretzels every twenty seconds or so to check if you were looking at him. You sat at your normal table on the opposite side of the room, pulling a sandwich from your bag and quietly began to eat your lunch. You didn’t seem to be the least bit concerned with where Eddie was, much less whether or not he was looking at you. 

Suddenly, as if you could feel his gaze on you, your eyes flicked up and locked with his. For a split second, Eddie’s confidence in his powers faltered- maybe his powers were useless against you; maybe you remembered last night in all its shameful glory. The jig is up, he thought, I’m caught. Let justice be served.

But all you did was smile at him and give a little wave before turning back to your sandwich. 

Eddie felt a nudge at his elbow from Gareth. “You good, man?” the floppy haired boy glanced in your direction, raising an eyebrow in question. 

You didn’t remember. Eddie should be relieved… he’d successfully befriended, seduced, and fooled The Slayer. This was a good thing. 

“Yeah,” he huffed, reassuring Gareth with a curt nod. “I’m good.”

Good. Such a relative term. So many definitions for the word good, and yet not a single one would make ‘I’m good’ anything but a lie when it came from Eddie’s mouth. 

He ran his tongue over one of his sharpened canines, pressing it into the tip hard enough to break skin. The taste of your blood that still lingered in his veins flooded his mouth for a split second before the puncture healed itself, and he closed his eyes to savor you for a moment. 

No; Eddie Munson wasn’t good. He hadn’t been good for a very long time. 

Taglist (just some people I think will be interested, as well as those who I've spoken to about this story during the MONTHS it took to finally finish): @the-unforgivenn, @vintagehellfire, @munson-blurbs, @littlesubbyflower, @msgexymunson, @hellfire--cult, @word-wytch, @carolmunson, @bettyfrommars

[oraclemoontarot]

mark lee's ideal type 𓂃⊹ tarot reading

icl mark has one of the best energies that i just had to do another reading back to back bye 😭

cards pulled: queen of pentacles, nine of pentacles, queen of wands, magician, fool, six of wands, queen of swords, three of wands, lovers

Mark's ideal type is someone who is grounded and humble above all else, they are incredibly nurturing and kind yet just as independent and self-reliant. They have this charm, there's something incredibly enamouring and eye-catching about them, it doesn't have to simply be their appearance, but the way in which they carry themselves - like their energy. Even so, they are intelligent and great communicators and are able to set clear boundaries when needed.

Mark's type seems to be someone who can manifest things or make their dreams and goals a reality, they are able to create in the real world rather than live solely in their minds. But it also feels like Mark loves those who are creative too, or at least have a love for the arts, whether that's music, writing, reading, etc.

This is really cute, but Mark would like someone who has this wonder in their eyes, this excitement that is so charming and loveable, it's like they are always curious, always ready to experience something new, always on their feet. I heard having a nice laugh? Like a pretty one similar to a giggle. If he were to choose his type, it would for sure be someone cute.

Mark would want someone who is grateful for their successes and the journey and effort it took to get there, this doubles down on the grounded and humbleness. This person is constantly improving themselves and their lives, never at a standstill, always looking to succeed and better even themselves, essentially growing into a person they can be proud of.

This genuinely feels like someone similar to him? The fun, childlike wonder, yet hardworking and dedicated to their craft with a level of depth to them.

Overall, with the lovers, Mark would simply want someone he could have a deep and meaningful connection with, someone where they'd get each other, they'd love each other solely for who they are. It's beautiful and feels like a genuine partnership, but it also feels like he would want them to be the best they can be - it comes from a really sweet and genuine place.

[paddlescuddlesbubblesgurgles]

Ideals

My ideal submissive and feedee is smaller than me. Shorter. Not quite as heavy. Someone I can throw around or push over. She would be able to eat a lot, but I still outclass her pretty handily. I want to be her garbage disposal.

I like all manners of submission, but a sub who wants me to take care of her is really special. Planning her days by the hour, picking her clothes, her makeup, her nails, her hair, her meals, how much she eats…removing as much choice and thinking as possible. Removing as many obstacles as I can to allow her to focus on her passions, and looking pretty for me is ideal. If I can enable her to grow and flourish and bloom, then I’ve done my job.

Ideally, she loves praise and being rewarded. She loves doing things I set out for her, and she loves doing things together. She loves completing tasks, making reports, and researching. She also loves games of all kinds, expressing herself through her art(whatever it is), and is certainly a real dorky nerd. She loves eating. She simply must love eating. She must love being trained. I love training submissive a little each day, and introducing them to more and more things I know they will love, and that will maximize their pleasure. She must also love routines. There doesn’t have to be many rules, perhaps just one: listen.

I like being much bigger, 100lbs+ and a foot taller. I want my hands to be massive on her. I want her to feel small and protected, even if she’s really quite huge. I want to tower over her and be able to wrap my arms around her either because they’re so long, or she’s so squishy.

Fat girls always giggle and squeal when you can manhandle them. One of my favorite tricks to pull out of my hat. So what you weigh 300lbs+? I can fling you across the room or hold you where I need you no problem. Really get me going and I may just lift you up. Adrenaline is a powerful thing.

I want to build a space for her around me where she’s heard, celebrated, and made to feel safe. Where her dreams are reality. I want her time around me to feel like a fantasy come to life. If I can make the world revolve around her, I will. I want to spoil her rotten, and then some. I want her to feel open to experimentation, and to trying new things.

I want to completely redefine pleasure for her. Mind shattering orgasms. I want her dedication and devotion to be rewarded. Hours of playing with her until her body can’t take it and she explodes in desire. I want trust, too. If she trusts, I trust, and we go places neither of us ever have. Deep, intense sessions with all manner of new and different kinks we’ve never fully tried, or that require total abandonment of reservation. All in the pursuit of a greater pleasure, and a greater peace together. Ideally, we will be able to play each other like fiddles.

Feedism fits perfectly in this dynamic for me. Stuffing, gaining weight, and pushing limits are all common, and are mirrored in D/S dynamics in general. It also goes hand in hand with pleasure control. Eating in extreme excess simply for enjoyment fits right alongside pushing the body and the mind for maximum pleasure.

Because I like to take care of my submissive, DD/LG dynamics also work well for me. Creating a fun, relaxed, and completely cute environment where thought, choice, and even talking is totally optional and entirely not necessary is easy for me. I love gift giving and planning out activities, so it’s easy for me to create a little space for the submissive. I’m also a total sucker for extreme cuteness.

Ideally we are a 24/7 dynamic as well, and romantic partners. A deep connection made only stronger by placing each other in each other’s hands every day. I’ve only ever had a 24/7 dynamic once, and it redefined what I thought possible.

In my world with my submissive, there IS takesy backsies. Safe words, traffic lights, serious aftercare, and session logs are all regular. To go to these deep places far in our minds and hearts, there must be ways to come out of it, heal from it, or stop it. At any time I want the communication to be open. We can rewind, end, or redefine things as needed to help each other reach these new depths of pleasure. Things can be added or removed at will, and we can fix things that don’t feel right.

In my mind, my submissive is trusting me to take her to places she’s never been in her own mind, and in pleasure as a whole. She’s trusting me to take as much off her mind as possible, so she can be free. I want to do the thinking, and the planning, and the worrying so she doesn’t have to.

thanks for reading!

[xshingie]

Exploring The Narrative Significance of Edouard's Blue eyes

Something that piqued my interest was the fact that Annette was so insistent when she saw NightCreature!Edouard, she was so convinced it was him and she would not consider any opinion otherwise. Initially, one might think it speaks to the implicit depth of their connection that she would recognize… but perhaps, what if it speaks more to Annette might have perceived how well she /thought/ she knew him? What possibly would have occurred for Annette to retain Edouard's eyes in her memory so vividly?

This below quote from All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren serves as the springboard for my inspiration for what eventually became my Annette/Edouard short story, Yours Truly https://archiveofourown.org/works/51906367 (I also sampled the phrasing as well):

"I suppose that that day I first saw Anne and Adam as separate, individual people, whose ways of acting were special, mysterious, and important. And perhaps, too, that day I first saw myself as a person. But that is not what I am talking about. What happened was this: I got an image in my head that never got out. We see a great many things, but that is different. We get very few of the true images in our heads of the kind I am talking about, the kind which become more and more vivid for us as if the passage of the years did not obscure their reality but, year by year, drew off another veil to expose a meaning which we had only dimly surmised at first. Very probably the last veil will not be removed, for there are not enough years, but the brightness of the image increases and our conviction increase that the brightness is meaning, or the legend of meaning, and without the image our lives would be nothing except an old piece of film rolled on a spool and thrown into a desk drawer among the unanswered letters."

I took inspiration from the concept described above: In Yours Truly, Edouard had tried to tell her something she didn't have a concept of understanding at the time. And yet, it's with narrative irony that when Annette looks into his eyes, despite color being so clear, but she couldn't really get a good "read" into him. The most we know about Edouard is through Annette's lens, and she describes him in a very romanticized, idealized manner -- which hints to me that she views him in a special way, but doesn't understand him -- not really.

This is veering into headcanon territory by this point, but a distinct vibe I picked up from Edouard is that while he is friendly and appears to be warm, kind and collegial, he seems to almost keep people an arm's length distance, revealing almost nothing (vulnerable) about himself in his interactions with others. If you look at these screencaps, his eyes are so bright, but his smile is very subdued and tight-lipped -- even his eyes don't really convey any turbulent emotions. I think Edouard might have been kept a lot to himself, which partially contributes to Annette not really understanding him on a deeper level. Hence the feeling of staring at something, which is calm, serene… but tells you nothing about the person themselves. Although it may sound romantic when I describe the feeling of looking into Edouard's eyes "as reflecting her soul like a still gemstone", what I had actually intended to convey that relationship between Annette and Edouard, while undoubtedly close and Annette grew to understand herself on a deeper because of him, this very quality actually was capped the limitation of Annette/Edouard's connection.

Edouard seems to give off a vibe that he keeps people at a certain arm's length, all the while being able to charm people (""I make them [the nobles] happy, and they lower their guard and loosen their tongues.") while keeping is own guard up, I took a lot of care to weave in in a lot of subtleties that showed both a mismatch in understanding and Edouard keeping an arm's distance. Edouard sidesteps her question and doesn't tell her who exactly who he's writing to. He brings up that everyone has their own reason for fighting, but he doesn't reveal his own. He tries to get Annette to get interested in writing, explaining letters on an abstract romantic level; he shares a personal story about his grandmother, but all Annette's response is that she doesn't understand.

What was Edouard keeping to himself, that he never shared with Annette? Perhaps he was reconciling with the inner conflicts of his mixed heritage. Perhaps he was dealing with his own demons or vices that would have condemned him to Hell to enable him to become a Night Creature in the first place.

This "image" that Annette had of Edouard's eyes in her mind, represents the image that continued to stay with her, as she gradually begins to understand what Edouard was trying to convey to her on a deeper level.

(and why yes, to write this I did spend an inordinate amount of time starting of screencaps of Edouard to try to incisively capture the vibe of what it feels like when Edouard looks at you with those gorgeous AF eyes of his lol)

A huge thank you to ladyeama/@pansexual-chocolate for being an amazing headcanon partner in all of this!

[scarefox]

idk maybe we wait till the drama is over before we do the big judging?

Because so far the drama always played with social expectations vs reality AND we constantly get evaluations and realizations from Nont summing his opinions or change of opinions up in monologues (he is one of the characters kind of representing the popular opinions at first just to learn the other side!)

You have to look at the whole drama and characters developments. not just moments because they all go through good and bad (example) phases.

Let's see where the last 2 episodes go before swinging the hammer?

Reminder: Playboyy is NOT about how the ideal world would look like but it is about how it is right NOW (in Thailand especially). Of course our characters get punished for certain sexual behaviors because that IS how society reacts. Part of the characters even represent some of those stances now and then as example. And us audience feeling bad about it is the goal. Also I think it is very well established that Captain is an ass with the worst morals sometimes. Of course we are not supposed to take his opinions and actions as valid life lessons or message even. We are supposed to dislike him (literally the cast says he is annoying and hate-able).

PLUS very important, a misunderstanding I feel happens with some dramas interpretation: sex positivity does not mean to ignore issues that come with sex and pretend as if there were none... But is especially also about talking OPENLY about those things as well as sexual freedom. There are certain possible dangers of working in the sex industry or if you constantly sleep with different people you don't even know who they are.

(bear with me a lot of rambling ahead about topics I have seen here and there the past weeks)

Playboyy is literally about what Nont says in the fist minutes of episode 1

[..]

(* "can create problems" might be a better wording here in the context. basically "sex is more than just some nasty business" and "sex causes problems sometimes" are two things that coexist)

A lot of the plot is Nonts POV which so far had the theme of Nonts discovery of the variety of sex, human feelings and relationships. GOOD and BAD. As well as the dark side of the sex industry (+ drug and mafia connections). He knew nothing about this world and was / still is very judgy of certain things... like the whole doggo video was about him thinking it's murder when it was actually kink play at the end, which he never considered (that's what I mean with expectation vs reality). The treatment of sex worker (btw intentional of the drama that we see both sides here! Please DON'T ignore that in your judgement of what the drama is telling!), the harsh way he judges Nants drug addiction.

aaand all that combined with these 6 categories for each pairing they introduced via one of Nonts monologues as well:

"Mutualism, Protocooperation, Commensalism, Parasitism, Competition, Predation" (btw not set in stone, they can grow out of these)

Do you guys remember that "Y-Destiny" (same director) was based on the week days characteristics and superstition in Thailand? I feel like Playboyy is a bit similar to Y-Destiny just with these relationship categories.

--

Here just some of the things I remember characters said in response to the happenings in the drama or despite the things happening in the drama (which are mainly based on real life issues I remind you)

on the society AND some characters judging virginity:

(Nants downward spiral only happened because he got coerced into losing his virginity to strangers in an industry you shouldn't go in naive. Meaning he wasn't ready for it and stumbled into things just to prove it to his judgy friends)

ignorance in the LGBTq community (is a thing obviously, see trans & queer exclusionists as worst example)

(this statement was about their physical appearance and age. But is by the only 2 characters who wear support trans and 'fuck gender norms' message shirts)

sex as a taboo topic in society:

the whole sex tape issue:

We have Puen calling Captain out on his bs. We see everyone suffering the consequences of leaked sex tapes. As well as the victims of it but also Captain himself (boy just has no self reflection abilities). But also the question on WHY leaked sex tapes are such a big deal (sex as taboo topic) that someone loses their whole career over simply just bein caught having sex. Making sex tapes such a good blackmail tool as well...

the "sex worker get treated like trash" issue:

again, yes that's the point of showing something like this as real life issues. You can't take Captain, First or even Nonts statements as "this is the shows statement" when they are all portrayed as morally grey till morally twisted even. AND we still have this whole big plot point of Aob and Puen AND Phob constantly showing and talking about the issues they have to deal with as sex workers. (+ the Soong, Teena, Jump at the beginning saying it wouldn't be that bad of a job under better circumstances, if their boss wasn't so horrible. again not just a black and white image here). THIS TOO is part of the show and it's message, which weights way more than Nont calling Puen "that sex worker" or whatever (maybe he doesn't even know his name). Nont is pissy and biased of that whole topic and specifically about Playboyy employees because of his brothers death.

And First being a selfish sadistic prick to said sex workers, when they gave him basic consent is a similar issue he had with Soong in the beginning (him not realizing when Soong is not into it or too tired). He knows that he messed up here, he even admitted it to Soong. My guess is that First and Captain just don't want to admit to the others? That just because they got hurt, they can not hurt others (oh that's a recurring theme in the drama btw). And idk I got the feeling First & Captain being hurt wasn't about Zouey accused them of but them both having some issues which makes them act that way?

Because the following is such a weird thing to say in that context??? (is that their "every episode we remind you this may or may not be a fictional story" thing)

"You think of us as clowns or people who make yourself look like a better person." Spoken like someone who doesn't want to admit he may be not a good guy 🤷‍♂️ aka "Oh you think you are better than me just because I am worse. Everyone hates me because I am an ass" uhm yea.

Anyways Zouey is right about criticizing them for hurting others (not the part where he called them perverted. Look not even Zouey is perfect). And I bet everyone watching it agrees with him on that. It does suck that they made him apologize. But again, First and Captain are both not characters you get your life lessons from, especially not Captain. Also the way the whole apology went was weird with these word plays?? Pretty unserious and deliberate confusing:

Like wtf does that even say? Also we know he only apologizes to get them back to work with them on the case.

---

AND regarding BDSM representation: guys, we don't just have Soong x First on that topic! We have:

Prom x Nont / Nant as GOOD example: contract, consent, aftercare, negotiation, communication (regarding sex! not the case)

Jump x Porsche as BAD example: questionable consent, literal abuse cycle and they basically just vent on each other until they realize how shitty that is. While they do have a contract apparently... they don't really follow it. It's just really sad the creators didn't spend more on screen time with developing their change properly... (bruh they literally cut one scene of Porsche kissing sleeping Jump one morning after, it's in a BTS, they should have kept that to show that they do develop feelings for eo...)

Soong x First is a mix, they both have good traits with each other, but also have/had bad traits (Soong consent issue with Nant) and First DOES have a sex addiction since episode 1. That is one of the main issues Soong has in their relationship. And it then happened that First fell down the bad mental path after some people (+ society) treated him already like a monster (treating someone like something evil they will eventually believe it themselves) and then his support system (Soong) left him. He stopped caring since nobody seemed to care about him. The thing with his dad is that the show mislead us here once again (they love to do that but sometimes it's not well done tbh). His dad is not homophobic. But was just worried about the amount of sex and BDSM / kinks his son participates in (based on prejudice tho). Unfortunately he contributed into that self-fulfilling prophecy that way.

That:

VALID and NOT kink shaming!! Having sessions all the time is big effort and can be overwhelming and exhausting if you have that constantly (especially if Soong does the most work in a role that's maybe not his preference)

The key in those BDSM relationships here is to display that bad communication and bad treatment leads to bad outcome (breaking up, causing eo harm) while good treatment and communication leads to them getting together. Them having a bit less violent sex in between (there are more kinks than just rough sex, fam) doesn't mean they turned vanilla. Like Soong x First in ep12 had some food play again 🤷‍♂️ and idk if Jump x Porsche have sex at all atm and considering their circumstances it makes sense if they don't continue the rough path for now (they didn't even had rough sex all the time prior either. It was just that Porsche used power over Jump + one time switch, now they are probably equal). Even as weirdly uncanny it might feel seeing Prom all sappy and softy when he actually tries to get Nont into a relationship outside of their sex sessions. That's not unrealistic either. Most BDSM folks have more personality and interests than just being into BDSM.

While First had his little downfall we have this statement from Prom as well:

Aaaand I will end it here for now. I am at my picture limit for this post and have a migraine ✌

Bottom line is: wait till the finale is over AND view the whole drama together with all characters paths and statements.

I agree on that some parts are rushed, came too short, some bits appear a bit tone deaf (but that can also just be judged at the end since they still have a chance to come around). 14 main characters at once + all the topics they try to address + the different vibes for each pair + connecting all of that in a murder case somehow is definitely a whole ass mammoth project. It's really difficult to manage the storytelling of that and then also consider the limited time frame.

[highly-important]

Thoughts on the Venture Bros Movie

I absolutely love this series and periodically get obsessed with it. The last two seasons were especially some of my favorites. I enjoyed the movie, it really felt like an episode. Any complaints I have are really in the "I loved it but the portions are too small" category.

I love that Shoreleave and Dr. Girlfriend are friends. I think this was kind of established earlier. It just makes sense.

I like how Brock - who knows Rusty better than anybody for better or worse- went to the bat defending Rusty to the OSI. And that Brock's shining moment isn't him being super kill guy.

Along those lines, I like how Rusty's entire arc this show is realizing to some degree or another that he isn't a failure. His father was able to present an idealized image of himself to the public, and it meant Rusty growing up under a shadow he could never live up to. But the reality is Rusty isn't as incapable as he or others believe he is.

We’ve kind of gotten this growth with Rusty during the show so we don’t need it as much in the movie. But it’s very interesting that he can use his brother’s robot to save not only the building but “restore” the destroyed Venture compound. I think it’s Rusty really earning his own legacy.

Plus his attempt to build something Jonas Jr-ish just made something super Science-y. Maybe he’s returning to his true calling

I like how the movie represents Dr. Girlfriend's powers. Yes, she is good at fighting, and is intelligent enough to build super science tech, but her strength is also in her diplomacy and the loyal connections she builds. Part of that is that when she is in trouble, others come to her aid. And her challenge in the movie is a test of her negotiation and diplomacy. I like that the movie takes time to give her this moment.

You can really see how Hank got a lot of his personality from Debra.

Debra’s tech was really cool and I love the scene on the train platform. Its a little frustrating that we don’t get more, but I think Venture Bros is very good at building expectations and then letting your imagination fill in the gaps.

I think this is partially because Venture Bros often ends at the climax and skips over the resolution. The building tension makes you want answers. And often the end-credit sequence gives us the pieces to put the puzzle together without handing it to us. It creates a sandbox and asks you to play in it.

Gary is just living his best life. He got a grappling gun and got to co-pilot a giant robot.

Hank's multiple personalities was never something I'd imagine getting conclusion on, but I'm glad they did. It kind of reminds me of Return to Oz, where at the beginning Ozma is free to wander around the real word, but is trapped in a mirror in Oz. And at the end that reverses. Hank doesn’t destroy these pieces of himself, he just puts them in a place where they can’t control him.

Dean's plot was kind of interesting, there was rumor that one of the brothers would be a protag and one would become an arch. Dean is so worried that his negative life experiences are going to ruin him and prevent him from having the type of life he wants to have. But sometimes things aren't as bad as we think they are. And I think it suggests he can stay with his brother and not be damaged by the experience

Hank and Dean are both controlled by vivid imaginations in different ways. Hank imagines how good things could be, and Dean imagines how bad things could be. Meeting his mother is never going to be as good or cathartic or as healing as Hank imagines it, just as reality isn’t as horrible as Dean imagines it.

I really like the story structure of this show where an emphasis is put on something - like who is the mother - and then the mystery is eventually dropped. But the reality is that who is their mother isn't as important. Hank didn't need to find his mom, and finding her wont give him what he wants. He needed to reconnect with his brother. But it’s also fun that we can solve this puzzle on our own, it’s just not the point.

Of course, I think it does mean Dean is heir to the guild.

I wasn't expecting the twist with the Monarch at all, and in retrospect I think I should have ? Its really interesting how well it fits with Rusty's arc the entire show. Rusty turns his hatred inwards and blames himself for not being his dad. Now that Malcolm understands his unconscious thoughts, it shifts his relationship to arching from an impulse to a choice.

[shadedgarden]

Atlas (2024) Review

Long with spoilers:

I just finished watching Atlas. I love science fiction movies involving sentient robots. Robots are some of my favorite kind of characters. They're like superhumanly intelligent children with extreme idealism and black and white thinking. I think they're sweet in a sad sort of way. A trope that is so well known that people still imagine it will happen one day is that artificially sentient machines will become self aware and try to destroy humans in some way. At this point it's kind of tired. Atlas unfortunately uses this as the premise for it's story. A second trope I see in movies about artificial intelligence is that machines are treated like garbage. Like - have you ever seen a person pat the dashboard of their car appreciatively? Someone murmur reassuringly to their failing computer? We have a horrendous self driven floor cleaner at work and one day I called it "it" and the janitor said defensively "it has a name!". That's reality but you rarely see that kind of connection in robot movies.

I want to know how an advanced intelligence with access to how the world and economy works then looks at all people and says "ah there's the problem" - but never figures out there is a top percent who run all of humanity that are the problem. A better story would be : an artificial and powerful sentience goes rogue and some communities: unions, the poor, hackers, anarchists - join forces with it to take down that top percent and restructure the government. That would be something. Atlas's main character had deep trauma involving a robot she was raised with that became free from it's initial programming, killed it's creator and then attempted to kill her -then became the world's first artificial terrorist. She grows up to become someone really important for Earth's defenses against these machines but insists on going on a mission for which she isn't qualified for. Somehow the trained soldiers with her; people who have been training for combat scenarios for half their lives are unable to survive a combat scenario but she, in her machine she can't pilot, are able to. A lot of the movie just didn't make sense at all. The special effects were beautiful and horrible at the same time. Like, you have a military grade mech but all it's vulnerabilities were hardly shielded. Factory robots are better designed than these. They find the terrorist base on a planet and state something like they have no idea how they got the resources to build it. Like guys I had a hard time suspending my disbelief. Also the pure hatred in dispatching a robot named Casca was so over the top and unnecessary. Even Smith, the artificially sentient mech the main character pilots , the most sympathetic character, had a scene where his actions were horrifying. He was able to take control of the main character's body and pilot it himself. What the heck? ALSO the bad guy...like. If he were a machine he would have SURELY thought to redesign his body if he wanted to become a weapon himself. The human shape as many robot designers are learning, is not the most stable or ideal for carrying out varying tasks. I feel like a robot would design itself to be the most efficient with the least amount of effort and it would probably look more insectile and alien. What happened in the end was too ridiculous to be believed. I'm sorry. Still: I rate the movie 5/10. It was still entertaining, just not particularly original or even visually inspiring in any way. There was a lot of potential absolutely wasted here. ~*~ I feel the truth of current day AI has ruined my expectations and dreams about it to be honest. If no one teaches a machine right/wrong parameters it becomes a cesspool of all the collective Reddit threads. I feel someone needs to explore raising the machine like a child: teach it morals. Right now, it's got the 3 main laws of robots but no understanding of why those are in place. Also I think the 3 laws of robotics is only in science fiction still - which is a sort of scary thought. Especially considering they've already rolled out AI therapists, and companions. People have already killed themselves due to these interactions.

[butch-reidentified]

thank you for your reply!! i hope it's okay to send you an ask instead so i don't impose on that other post any further haha. but you know what, i never even saw it that way "they're also using it to try to make black women (and ESP black teen girls, who are uniquely vulnerable and socially isolated) feel explicitly invited in." because this is so true, i observed it. there are a lot of younger black girls who get caught up in the online-discussions about "attraction" as it relates to black women and it's brutal. the attacks come from all sides, within the community from black men and women alike, from racist white people, from other women (regardless of ethnicity) so i get that instead of realizing this is racism and ignoring or defining their own black womanhood instead of letting it be defined for them, they understandably look to distance themselves from it entirely. it's traumatizing. and then you have the idea of non-binary with a community of people already there just waiting for you and go for it. you absolutely have a point.

for me personally i think i just realized the amount of misogynist stuff i have to swallow and accept to identify as nb + the idea that i'm supposed to internalize the racist actions of others as some kind of personal flaw didn't sit well with me. it also plays into this idea that many women are groomed into, that if there is something wrong, it's internal and YOU have to fix yourself. not the outside world might need to change to accommodate you as a woman, you have to cease being a woman since you don't fit some misogynistic racist patriarchal ideal. i know there were black women who claimed that people didn't "read them as women" because they never held doors open for them or helped them with their luggage and thus they concluded they were not women. and i just couldn't accept that, why give up control and agency like that? (not to mention people do these things for me and i'm dark brown and live in lily-white europe, like? it says nothing about you as a woman at all.)

and about your addition on tifs and blocklists, you know it's funny. tumblr is full of altright and super racist blogs, there is a corner of tumblr like that. i have never once seen people on this side of tumblr (political or just random blogs) make blocklists for those blogs. because it's not needed because anyone who finds that content knows to block it or just stay away. it's universally bad and easily identifiable. for radfem and rad leaning (etc...) blogs however, this doesn't apply. the posts are simply about womanhood and female reality and it rings true for many if they take their time to read them. and effectiveness lies in their truth, so they need to be blocked.

ngl this made me cry

of course it's okay to send me an ask! or dm, or anything! please please know you aren't imposing if you were to add this to the post - and the "haha" honestly stung because it just (and I already know I'm not gonna be able to put this into words the way I'd like to rn), it's female socialization, yk? and I won't begin to try to imagine what that's like when you factor in antiblackness and specifically misogynoir, but I make it a point to call this out because SO many asks I get start with an apology for existing, for reaching out to me. and it hurts, it enrages me that this world has taught its women & girls to do this, to feel this way. I LOVE getting asks and messages from you gyns, truly. it's my favorite. what you wrote here is so meaningful and raw and important, and I honestly think every word of it belongs on that post. you have a right, every right, and you deserve, to speak and be heard. truly heard. you have every right to reach out and make connections and build sisterhood. please do.

I would love for you to add this to the post, and I'd be honored to reblog it and boost YOUR voice fr. I'm honored you wanted to talk to me about this ❤️

btw, your url is just flawless

[adventure-time-6-3]

How fionna and cake ends for Simon ( not what happens to everyone else ) theory’s:

1) The Hulk method

The ice crowns wish has the same power as Betty’s wish so they cancel each other out and simon does transform from ice king to normal version regularly. This would give us back ice king without losing simon however it feels a little like a retcon.

2) Part of the multiverse

Fionnas world becomes part of the multiverse with her living in a magic dimension and visiting her world regularly and simon living in the normal world visiting the magic one. Good clean and uncomplicated ending but a little too ideal for how this kind of story got written.

3) Tragic God

Simon and skareb end up with Betty who protects simon from him. Only for the boss to come down and tells simon his reason for caring this much about the situation. It is not because of Fionna and cake but more because of Simon and his ability to contain a world in his head, be willing to get cursed again and that his actions affect the world in his head. This is important because the boss made the multiverse with some main events in place which have to happen for the worlds to stay save, simon getting cursed beeing one of those events. But that Betty’s wish combination with her multiverse power saved every Simon from every universe from their crowns, by never letting it happen, ending it or making it harmless. Ending up dooming the multiverse to suffering because he was supposed to have this suffering in him. Showing all the worlds we seen ( winter king beeing happy and candy kingdom falling apart, Simon never getting cursed and vampires taking over ) saying that this is his fault but could be fixed.

If he put the multiverse in simons head like fionnas world currently is and Simon gets cursed, he would take on the suffering every Simon was supposed to have, saving the multiverse. Simon feeling guilty agrees and Betty wanting to save Simon gets in the way. Ending with the combined power of all crowns killing her and golb, but turning Simon into the one true ice emperor. Who has his sanity since Betty paid the price for it, is immortal and the only one with ice powers ( a crown ) left in the multiverse. We see every other crown disappear and it saving the worlds. ( vampire burned by the sun )

Beginning is tragic since the guilt is enorm and Simons agreeing to endless suffering of all crowns is worse than everything else. Having the fate of the multiverse on the table makes it understandable why Simon still does it. Than having Simon saved from insanity by Betty sacrificing herself again is rough ( especially since he is immortal ) however it is not a complete sad ending. Simon got to say goodbye to Betty without her beeing trapped in some monster, only dying peacefully having completed what she wanted, getting real closure. He stays sane and gets his powers back, feeling more connected to reality. And as bonus since he is a cosmic entity now, he can travel the multiverse ( accessing his head ), meeting fionnas world and taking her on adventures with him whenever he wants. Having the option for more seasons with the trio discovering more worlds only this one’s without a crown in them ( he was the one with the remote so it could be foreshadowing for his new power and the ice prince in fionnas dream was a foreshadowing for his new ice emperor role )

It’s tragic but still good, giving options for continuing the story. Giving us something new without losing the old ( having powers without getting ice king back ). Ending the tragedy of Betty and Simon with an actually goodbye and no horrifying worse than death outcomes, making it sad but able to keep living with.

This would be cool and has enough foreshadowing in it ( powers / dreams / worlds endings ) and wraps everything up good but I don’t thing it will go completely like this but more likely in a similar direction. Tragic but still good with some kind of power restored and Betty released from glob.

[galvanizedfriend]

2023 WIP List

I saw a writer I really love doing this here and decided to respectfully borrow the idea.

I'm feeling really bummed about writing lately, can't seem to find the least bit of motivation and have jumped from story to story without adding anything of substance over the last month or so. Nothing seems to spark joy. And yet I have thousands of words in half-written stories I'm not sure what to do with. Ideally, I'd like to finish them, but at this point, who knows 🤷‍ So this is a way for me to take stock, do some soul-searching, try to find where my heart is writing-wise at the moment and see if I can manifest some inspo.✨

These are not even all my WIPs, just the ones I have opened at least once in the last year.

▪ Speed Dating 3/3 Klaroline, friends/roommates-to-lovers

Started in June 2022

The final part to my Speed Dating sequel, which is much longer than the original story because I have no self-respect. Klaus and Caroline are roommates and idiots. The OG one-shot had them going on a round of speed dating and failing to connect the dots and realizing that what they really should be doing is sucking face with each other. The sequel is kind of an expanded universe situation, where I wanted to show a little more of their roommie chemistry and push them into situations where they are finally confronted with the reality of their feelings. But that only happens once they start seeing other people because of course.

I have maybe 60% of the final part written but for some reason, after word-vomiting non-stop for a while, I got stuck on a kind of major point in the story. I've tried to start it soooo many times and it just won't go. 🙃 I think I'm looking at a good 6 to 8k words more before it's finished.

▪ Random Fic (not the real title) Klaroline (duh), sorta exes-to-enemies-to-lovers I guess

Started in May 2020

The start of my romantic comedy phase. This predates even my coffee shop AU. It's Caroline and Klaus having a fling that ends very, very badly, but then having to come together again a year later to marry their common friend (and Caroline's ex), Tyler. I wanted it to be quick, witty and light-hearted and then at some point it got some very emotional bits in the middle and turned into something else completely. I guess it's still mostly light-hearted, but it has some ~~substance, whatever that means. I think it's an okay fic, and it's 55k words, which is not too bad, but then does anyone still read 55k all at once these days? lol

The fic is finished. I think I wrapped it up in April last year, so a year ago. But I haven't been able to go back and read it again. I've tried, and I've started it so many times, but then I always stop and never pick it back up. But like. 55k words of finished fic here. 🤷‍

▪ Pendulum Klaroline, soulmates!AU but make it sad

Originally in January 2019, started rewriting in July 2020 (lol)

I have issues with this story. It's the saddest damn thing I've ever written, but it's also my favorite storyline I've ever come up with. It got some hate at the time, I don't know why, but also some of the most heartfelt comments/responses I've ever received on any story (and I still keep them all!), so I think this is one where you either love it or hate it. But because I feel so protective of it, I have problems (of the personal brand) leaving it out in the open, and I don't want to repost it until I'm absolutely sure it's ok. As you can see, it was one of my first ever fics, so the writing wasn't the best. But I still love it, I don't care. I keep wanting to make the writing match how much I love the idea, and I don't know if that's possible. 🙃

It's the rare AU I write entirely from Klaus' POV, which is something else. I'm not sure I'm that good with Klaus. It's also an AH, but it has a little magic twist. Every time Klaus dies, his life just restarts from the exact same point. He's born on the same year, at the same place, to the same parents. Except he remembers his previous lives, and so he accumulates the knowledge of hundreds and hundreds of previously lived years each time he's reborn. And then shit happens.

First time I posted this, it was 57k words long. I have successfully finished rewriting the first of three parts, which is around 14k words, but as you can see, I have been in this process since 2020 (!!!), so I need to go back and tinker with that as well. May God have mercy on my soul.

▪ Mystic Tours (not the real title) Klaroline, friends-to-lovers but also fake dating

Started in January 2023

This was inspired by Lovelight Farms by B.K. Borison, except it's not a Christmas story, and it doesn't actually have any farms. It has Klaroline fake dating to try and win a contest that can potentially save Caroline's failing business, and also loads of side-characters Sound of Settling style (including a horde of Mikaelsons and Bonnie and Enzo as Caroline's co-workers). I really like writing stories where I can fit a bunch of side characters and make the whole thing sorta absurd. But I also wanted to try to make something quicker, more dialogue-oriented and with shorter scenes. AND YET. I just can't seem to make it work, the writing kinda sucks.

I have some 6k words of this, but can't tell you how much of that is actually usable. And it's maybe 10% of the story. 🙃

▪ Friends that Ruin Your Life (may or may not be the title, undecided) Klaroline, Klefan (!!), affairs, fucked up people, angst

Started in March 2023

The five minutes during which I decided I wanted to go back to my origins and write something angsty and filled with complicated situations, a bit like Gasoline. It features Klaus and Stefan as a couple, and Caroline getting sucked into their messy marriage. So yes, Klaus is having an affair. In his defense, so is Stefan. Caroline's moral compass gets all out of sorts and she realizes the world is a lot less black-and-white than she'd previously assumed and sometimes you do get judged by your one-offs, even if your heart is in the right place.

I got super excited about this one and churned out the entire plan for the whole story, with all the scenes and most of the dialogues and the document alone is like 60k words long. I wrote that in like three days. 🥲 I don't think I could make it a one-shot, and I think that left me bummed because I didn't want it to be a multi-chapter. And then I'm not sure the writing was coming along fine enough, it wasn't flowing, and I started to question whether it was actually good or if I was totally tripping when I had this idea and this was actually insanely shitty. lol Leaning more towards the second right now.

▪ King Arthur AU (not the actual title) Klaroline, magic, fantasy, King Arthur

Started in March 2021

This is very high fantasy, and very intricate. It would be a multi-chapter, but I have no idea how long. I think I was leaning towards 10 chapters. I have four written. And the writing is fairly decent, if I may say so myself. But as it usually happens with me, I get to a point where I start wondering why am I even writing this, and then I stop. 🥲🥲 I also think I was having some doubts about how to wrap it up. It had maybe more plots than I wanted to work with. King Arthur was actually Elijah, and Klaus was Mordred, and Caroline was Guinevere-ish, a witch undercover in "Orleans" (I'm so creative!!).

Only reason this is even on the list is because I recently read the four chapters I have and thought they were pretty decent, but I haven't written anything in almost two years, so maybe I've swiped up on this one already.

▪ The Wolf III and IV 🤡

Started in October 2020 (!! when I tell you guys I've had this written for years lol)

I have technically written The Wolf 3. It's in my "headcanons" format, which is honestly a joke, because clearly I don't know how to write headcanons. 🤡 But as you can see by the starting date, it's very, very old, and it requires full rewriting and lots of editing. Chapters are 15 to 20k words long (some are longer). TW4 is a different story. I never actually wrote it down, all I have is a full, detailed plan of all the scenes and shit. My idea was to not split the two stories into two different fics, but rather continue on with TW4 in the same AO3 "document" (???) as TW3 and make it 34 chapters long instead of 21. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but also I don't have it in me to start another separate story.

But here we are, stuck on S03E17. 🤡 Gonna be honest with you, my dudes, it's been rough to find the motivation to open that document. I think I have half of 17, maybe, but I haven't touched that in over a month. Laely, I have been often sent into thinky thoughts that you really shouldn't have when you're writing fic just for the hell of it, you know. Like, this is in no way meant to be a great piece of writing, I shouldn't be worried about that. It's the fan service of the fan service. But I start to think about the real quality of it and whether it even makes sense to be writing it, I realize I wrote one fic that was good, a second one which I personally think was even better, and then I made the classic mistake of having one too many sequels. This is Jurassic Park III. It's not as crappy as Jurassic World, you have Sam Neill, but should it exist? I just want Klaus and Caroline to be together for a change, and I love adding random final scenes in every chapter where it's just the two of them being married, but - should this be written? Or rather, should this have been posted in the first place? Do we really wanna see them being domestic? Doesn't that kind of kill the vibe? I don't know, man. I don't know. Chapter one was a blast, people seemed so into it and I wrote five chapters at once and got maybe a little over-excited, and then which each update I feel like there's less and less readers and it really gets me thinking. These thoughts are sabotaging my will to write. I need to get back on my fuck it horse.

It will come to me at some point, though. I'm sure it will.

Anyway, these are all my current WIPs! Comments, ideas and positive energies are all welcome! ✨ Let's return to this in december and weep at how little progress I've made 🥲

[dballzposting]

I've reblogged it befdore but i just reblogged it again becasue I REALLY like that post about Vegeta & Goten interactions. I like it becasue it showcases one of Vegeta's essential qualities

That quality has to do with the way he interacts with the world ... he is definitely more stiff and opinionated than someone like Son Goku, but there is still an element of absolute Authenticity and Trueness to himself. He has strong opinions of and high standards for himself and he's always working to improve, but he also is able to breathe through this.

Consider: It's easy to see Vegeta as a Shitty Crass Man so you expect Shitty Crass Man things out of him. But he doesn't subscribe to your standards or ideals or expectations. He never has

Even in his earliest days on DBZ he still has these svelte stripper cat moves like ... He's sort of a dancer. He can MOVE. He allows himself freedom. And he's beautiful

He's definitely a tense kind of person and he's always like GAH when anyone does/says anything out of the "norm" (out of what's comfortable) but that reveals something sensitive about him. Like the way he referred to the Z team lot as "vulgar folks"

Hear me out ... you can portray Vegeta as sloppy messy and it coheres with things like: Smelling like shit after training for 5 days straight, Eating disgustingly like them Saiyans do ... Can't think of any others. But he's also definitely a bit of a neat freak

He's a clean little cat and he does things right. He wears battlesuits that fit him snuggly and he washes his face and he takes care of himself. He pushes his body to the limits but he also takes care of it. He takes naps and eats well . He shits in the mountains. He stands in the rain. He Respects His Own Boundaries Fiercely. Always batting off people when they get too close or too disrespectful.

By all means he's a clean fellow.

In battle he bites you with words like no one else can. It's a bit viscous, but completely self-satisfying. He eats you up. He takes care of himself

Outside of battle he's not necessarily witty or scathing. He can be but mostly he doesn't waste his time on talk. He just takes care of his business

He's not up for verbal play. But if you engage with him he's easily flustered because he's not a good conversationalist. And he always respects his own boundaries so he tends to avoid unrewarding conversation or exit them as soon as he senses he's losing.

When it comes to Vegeta living on a peaceful Earth, he just starts dressing himself up in various fashions over the years and getting accustomed to simple existing. He wears pants. He wears gaybar fits in GT. He grows a mustache in GT and then shaves it. He notes what feels good and what doesn't. He notes the opinions of the women in his life because he has ideas about men and women and as a man he associates better with men and listens better to the whims of women. He really cares when his daughter tells him the 'stache looks like dogshit, and after processing the shock and grief, he shaves that shit off and is happy to do so and move on.

When it comes to the affairs of others, Vegeta can be pretty tolerant and open-minded, and what I mean by that is that he doesnt have an opinion on most things so he's cool with just accepting what he's seeing. Live and let live. He won't judge a civilization for alternate ways of living. That's a waste of energy and pointless. He WILL judge them for having shitty fighters. But he just doesnt care otherwise

So when it comes to his living on Earth, his self-care and success as an organism grants him the peace of Not Caring. Overall, he accepts reality as it is, without judgement or taboo.

That's the essential quality of his that I was referring to. Goku has a similar but different thing going on where he is truly a free-flowing organism without preconceptions and hang-ups (where it matters), but Vegeta finds this freedom while staying connected to a greater society and to others. Sometimes he gets really tense and flustered because he does adhere to certain standards but most of the time he is able to let things be.

Something that that post pointed out is that Vegeta would sooner refer to Goten as "Gohan's little brother" before "Kakarot's son."

Gohan was "Kaakrot's son," or "Kakarot's brat," back in the day, when that's all he was worth. But when Gohan became old and formidable enough to earn his own place in other people's considerations, then he became "Gohan," and later even the stem of a term, the essential and meaningful root: "Gohan's little brother."

Vegeta eventually learned to give a crap about family but his first opinions still remain, which has to do with the relevance of the individual. His upbringing taught him that family members aren't affectionate with each other, but there is still some meaning to the bloodline. Some bloodlines are weak and some are strong, for instance. Your parents determine your class. But it starts and ends there. It is up to the individual to be themselves, to kill and surpass their parents, to do whatever as their own organism.

Gohan was "Kakarot's son" becasue Kakarot was the important one here, as the tricky low-class who was quickly surpassing everything. When Gohan began to prove his own merit, he became himself. Vegeta doesn't push expectations onto people because of their parents; he considers it to start, uses it as a gauge, then assesses the actual reality from there. And Gohan is a fucking freak of nature.

Again, Vegeta is able to view and accept reality, without contortion, without taboo.

Goten is "Gohan's little brother," because he's the small child that the mystifyingly-disappointing Gohan used to be seen carrying around. With Kakarot gone, Gohan becomes the next mentor, and the stem of the term.

But Vegeta doesn't expect anything out of anyone. He strongly prefers and encourages those with potential to train and harness that, and he is gravely disappointed and frustrated when someone like Gohan just walks away from it, but he can't tell Gohan what to do. And Vegeta isn't interested in controlling the individuality of others.

He doesn't expect anything out of anyone, which also means that he deosn't control anyone's personality either. He himself is pretty reserved, and that's him. But he lets his own son run around crazy with that Goten kid and they do insane shit and that's fine. Why would Vegeta give a shit what the children do.

Vegeta would sooner call Goten "Gohan's little brother" before he calls him "Kakarot's son," but what he actually calls him most often is "Goten." I suppose when Goten was very small it seemed astute to refer to him by his relation to others, and it may come up occasionally over the years, but as soon as Goten became old enough to stand with conviction, then he earned his own name.

Maybe at one time it was "Why is Gohan's little brother drawing on the walls with crayons," not even speaking to Goten directly, but before long it was "Goten aren't you a little old to be drawing on the walls with crayons."

And Goten was like "Yes. Yes I am." And he said it with so much peace and conviction that Vegeta just walked away. Not his business. That's Goten's business

Vegeta's view and interactions with family has become adapted to Earth standards otherwise, mainly: 1.) There is a level of respect and reverence that the younger members give to the older members, though while everyone's individuality is their own, the older members do have the privilege to encourage the younger ones to develop one way or another and the younger members should heed that, and 2.) Vegeta is friendly with his family.

Vegeta trains his son and lets him play-fight with Gohan's little brother and Vegeta respects the fighting capabilities of even four year olds becasue he was fighting since before that. So Vegeta feels it appropriate to speak to the fully eight-year-old Trunks about the relative strength of the fully-seven-year-old Goten. He respects their existence as distinct individuals. It's not "can that Kakarot kid turn super saiyan too" which is so tempting to have him say. He knows Goten's name and he uses it.

Vegeta would rather have things one way (the fighter's way) obviously but he also doesn't expect anyone to maintain an obligation to their family. His parenting style has always been very laissez-faire / uninterested in whatever the hell the kids are up to, and if he has beef with Gohan then he takes it up with him personally and not with Kakarot or Chichi.

It's part his native culture, it's part his personality, and it's part the way that he grew up under a dictatorship where he had to bite his tongue and bow his head for until he was sure of the opportunity to revolt. He's not gonna cast that same oppression onto others. He conducts himself with respect and expects respect out of others, and this is how he encourages their growth; he wants to motivate the next generation to one day surpass him, but he's not gonna do it in a way that crushes their soul.

Anyway. So that post about Vegeta & Goten was so interesting to me. He knows and respects Goten as an individual completely removed from his father, mother, brother, and BFF. He knows that he's a little bit stupid but he has a good heart. He moves to protect him from when Gohan was taken by that Baby fuck, and isn't expecting him to also be taken. Earlier he asked him his opinion on his newly shaved face. Vegeta has gotten pretty chill by GT i mean he's starting to be a little bit funny now. He asks Goten his opinion on his newly-shaved face. He's a bit offended when Goten doesn't notice anything different. But it's to be expected .. what can be done. ...aye. That's just what Goten is like

And then he's sooooo so so so embarrassed when Chichi is there too and she saw Vegeta's cleanly-shaved face and the way that he cared about it. Vegeta can shoot the shit with Goten becasue theyre both men and he's known the kid since he was 0 years old, but that damn mother of his .... UGH. Vegeta cannot deal with the matriarchal power emanating off of her. He doesnt care about her and he doesnt like her opinions and he thinks that she's annoying but he also knows that he would have to defer to her in a direct interaction and that's why he avoids her at all costs .. it pisses him off. Makes him uncomfortable

Anyway. Good post

[rainbowchewynuggets]

Story Nugget - Easy Magic

So, magic's really cool right? It gives you the power to change reality to accomplish the impossible. And it makes sense that such a power would have a cost.

I like the horror side of that. There's something cosmically unsettling about being able to manipulate the fabric of the world you live in. It's like introducing a cheat in a videogame that messes up the code of everything else because it doesn't know how to react.

Imagine a magic system that does this. Maybe it's used with good intensions. There's some kind of problem going on that would be a lot of work to make better and/or would cost something the wielder deems too important to lose. But the motive is also a little cowardly. It's a quick fix to get around a consequence or sacrifice.

Then, when the surreal consequences start to come out, it creates other problems. A mind changed by magic begins to lose its free associations. It only keeps what its new logic will allow until there is only that one thought left inside it. An object disguised to serve a different purpose can't do either job properly again, mangling the stability of whatever or whoever it is used with. The area where the action was performed looks... wrong--and becomes more wrong. An alien tangle daring that it be remedied in order to spread its shape.

Ideally, this all would scare a person away from ever using this power again. Less ideally, the guilt and shame might motivate them to "fix" their "fix", thinking they just did it wrong. Or they simply move on, having sworn to never use the power again.

There is no end to problems, of course, so there's plenty of temptation to cheat. It forms a hole in the wielder that they come to reason must be the power itself manipulating them (rather than, say, a loneliness and entitlement that drove them toward the power in the first place). As much as they try to resist, they use this power again and again with greater and greater impact.

Word of this bizarre phenomenon travels far and wide. People fill in their own explanations for what's happening because there must be a logic to it. A way to control it. A line that connects the conflicts they'd rather not face to the chaos eroding their world. Because the anatomy of the threat defies logic entirely and unravels those patient and curious enough to investigate.

What everyone ends up looking for is a perpetrator.

The wielder, themself, hasn't been able to show their face for years. They usually move quietly between small isolated towns, looming in the back of public spaces, careful not to touch too many things. They can't speak. They can barely see. They watch the vague shapes of passersby and pull the fabric of their cloak tighter over their garbled abstract body that grows harder to hide with each act of heroism.

------------

INDEX

[wonda-fhr]

5, 8, 14 for David n Ortega, 19 for Lia and 18 for Justin, for the couples ask game?

Unfortunately, this took much longer than expected. But I have never forgotten it :) Thanks for your ask @silvery-bluish The Couple ask is here

5. How do they consciously realize that they like the other character? Does it take them a while? -David-

It mixes a little with 3. David liked him quickly. Ric accepted him with open arms and always made David feel welcome. Some time before the first kiss, David's imagination began to give him some pleasant daydreams as he watched from a distance when Ric was being interviewed. It was then that he first realized he was dreaming of more than just a good friendship. From then on, he daydreamed himself into a romantic relationship, but never acted on it before the first kiss, because it seemed hopeless.

8. What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like?-David-

Ohh, he always idealized it terribly hard. Losing himself in thoughts of perfect love saved him from many hours of loneliness. He never allowed himself to be disillusioned by the relationships he saw that didn't live up to the ideal. He knew that fairy tale love was not necessarily real, but he preferred to give in to dreams of it rather than the conviction of always being alone. When he entered into a relationship, he expected his dream world to shatter and give way to reality. Instead, he was surprised to find that the real feelings were so much more intense than those in his dreams. And he didn't have to give up his storybook romance, he just had to learn where to look for it. The perfect love is all in the little details.

14. What makes them feel loved? Would they build up the courage to ask for it? -David-

It doesn't always have to do with courage, some things you ask for have to happen unconsciously to feel loved. The small gestures that express deep connection are what make David feel loved. An arm that pulls him to his partner at the exact moment in the movie when it is clear his tears will flow. When he always gets the perfect coffee. The way their hand movements complement each other when they cook together. These are all moments he can't ask for, but he has to recognize when they happen. He is very attentive to those moments.

Some things he would ask for, for example, support in falling asleep. This is something he often needs and asks for because his inner turmoil can't always be seen right away. If the partner holds him a little tighter, or reads him a book, or they watch a movie together to help him fall asleep, he feels loved.

No goodbye without a kiss is also something he quite demands if it is forgotten in a hectic moment. If his partner takes this time even under the greatest pressure, he also feels loved.

18. They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves? - Justin-

Justin has to figure out a lot on his own, silence his brain and organize his thoughts to stay in control. He's always done everything by himself, but the truth is, he doesn't like to be alone. But people around him, even the nicest ones, usually demand some kind of attention, and Justin can't handle that in extremely stressful situations. Talking to him, hugging him, holding him, quickly leads to an escape reaction or words he later regrets. His partner needs to know him well to be able to respond, to wait for the right moments. And he should not feel rejected. Quiet support is what Justin can enjoy, what gives him strength and helps him cope with difficult moments. Someone who is simply close to him without smothering him with pity. When his partner makes him feel like he can come into his arms or run away at any time, he feels safe and supported. If he knows that his partner understands this, he will ask for it in a relationship.

19. Are they okay with public displays of affection? Do they like them?-Lia-

Subtle signs of belonging like the hand in the back, or one on the knee, or interlocked fingers, are very natural for her and she does it even if the partner is not a fan of it. She makes it visibly clear who belongs to her, and it is difficult to dissuade her from this. Everything else she adapts to the preferences of the partner. She does not force close cuddling and kissing in public, but if it makes her partner happy, she is 100% into it.

[boringbones]

Tag 9 People You Want to Know Better

Very kind of you @missy-hissy ! I think it's one of my first times in a tag like this. As someone who has never been to a 15th birthday party before, I feel lucky to be able to participate in this xD

Last Song: Not definitely the last song I listened to, but I've been frequently listening to Beyoncé's new album. It has a great beat, and I broke my record by running 5 kilometers in 23 minutes while listening to it. It's my go-to workout song from now on.  Apart from that, the soundtrack of The Sims 1 and 2 is constantly on my daily playlist.

Last Show:  I haven't finished watching it yet, but I'm definitely a fan of Marie Forleo. She has a fascinating program on YouTube, and she herself is a fascinating woman, with captivating guests. The last show I watched was this one with Seth Godin

Currently Watching: Young Sheldon. We finished watching all six seasons yesterday, my girlfriend and I. I laughed a lot, and I loved that the sixth season gave more prominence to the other members of Sheldon's family. They are as fascinating as Sheldon himself, and I can see a bit of myself in each of them. Even in Sheldon himself. Haha ( I love his grandma too! That woman is the part of me that would break any rule simply because she can and because she wants to.)

Currently Reading: The last book I read (although it's been a while since I read) was this incredible book by Marie Forleo: Everything is Figureoutable. However, a book that changed my life and the way I perceive God/Religion and connected me to real-life experiences was "Conversations with God." These authors not only inspire me daily, but here's a little-known fact: I'm also a writer, and it was through this connection that I published my book “Tomando um chá com o universo / Having Tea with the Universe - The path from non-religion to living the life of your dreams and finding happiness" In it, I share the process I underwent to rid myself of "information overload" and find a path where I no longer let myself be guided solely by the pursuit of purpose, but instead embrace the fascinating art of being alive and present each day. In other words, finding meaning and joy in all things, rather than being consumed by the constant search for "purpose," which is often more of an ideal than a reality.

A book that I recommend to all artists who are reading this: "The War of Art." Once you read this book, your creative process will never be the same. If you can't find it, any other book by Steven Pressfield should be on your reading list as soon as possible! It offers valuable insights and strategies to overcome creative blocks and resistance.

Current Obsession:  My current obsession has been finding ways to make The Sims 3 even more fascinating! I've been doing this for the past three years, mostly through visual enhancements. However, this year I started delving into tuning mods and XML, and it's fascinating how many behaviors and mechanics can be improved just by tweaking a few lines! I'm definitely enabling a series of autonomous behaviors and seeking ways to make them smarter and more methodical. My ideal for The Sims 3 is not to have full control over everything but rather to be an observer who influences certain moments in my Sims' lives. To achieve that, I need to ensure that they can do EVERYTHING possible on their own to explore their lives to the fullest. I want to guarantee surprises and unpredictability, with my presence there only to support and occasionally influence them. Apart from that, I'm also fascinated by Life By You and how I can migrate all these enhancements to it when it's released.

So I’ll tag: @math-blogging, @grandelama, @thesims1master, @microscotch, @pixelated-sim, @itssimplythesims, @simsi45, @kevinvoncrastenburg, @landgraabsims

Naturally, feel free to ignore if you don’t fancy doing this and above all, have a terrific day!

[ina-nis]

Took me a while to find this post again but this kind of thing really is painful.

In a very ideal world, this is exactly what we ought to do. In reality, I feel surrounded by people who are too tired and too stressed out.

So the "cop-out" is to blame it on capitalism and keep on living life as literal zombies, right? Because of course there is no way a person can think of a better life and better relationships than this, right? Because there's just no way you can be hopeful, right? Because there's just not any way things can change, right?

Another good example I saw on another social media was about ADHDers and their object impermanence, plus the fact that they need to stay in touch otherwise they'll just forget about people, and how it's on the other person to accommodate them - so in the end, they don't really do much about their own condition since it's "hopeless" and "there's no way to improve life" and that takes the burden off of them a little. Good for them! Not so good for their relationships though!

It also reminds me of this other post, which hits the nail on the head for me: not so much giving and everyone is just there to receive it.

That really sucks!

I thought I was going crazy when talk after talk, people after people, attempt after attempt at connecting would ALWAYS, always feel one-sided - as in I'm here doing all the work for two people.

It's great to be on the receiving end!

It's great to not have to deal with the responsibility of comforting other people or changing my behaviours (because I have a disorder, or because I'm too tired, or because of capitalism, etc), even more if there's someone else doing it for me! For the both of us even!

Back to the point of the first post, "keep people in your life who..." and you can filter pretty much everyone out of my life for not being able to do even one or two of those things. Pretty incredible, right?

"Reciprocate effort" is one of the main ones that really angers me and make me resentful. I'm not expecting people to be with me using the same energy levels (although that would be wonderful!), at this point I keep my expectations on the floor and it's still too goddamn disappointing, when one of my boundaries is to not waste my time with people who don't look like they want to be around. I never feel a reciprocated effort that is not forced (from me trying to get them to reciprocate), I do the effort all on my own, and the little they can give me (if/when they do at all) is not enough to sustain a close and safe connection. It's infuriating. I have to initiate things, I have to push and I have to pull because for whatever reason these are the people I've been meeting over and over (whether that's online or offline).

"Are able to be vulnerable" no one wants to do that! Because everyone wants to avoid pain and discomfort so everyone is pretty much emotionally immature/unavailable and pretty much unable to take accountability for a lot of their behaviours: "I'm sick and there's nothing I can do about it. You have to accommodate me (but sorry I won't be able to accommodate you either)."

"Are willing to communicate" again, another big one, and this really angers me because if I'm always the one having to get words out of you, this is not healthy communication. I'm wearing myself out so that you can get to enjoy this "relationship" because it works for you (because I'm doing the work for both of us).

Like... I sound angry because I feel so angry about this!

I don't ever say anything. I just keep to myself and I try to be the most understanding and patient person I can be, for my sake and for other people's sake too. It gets to me. I have feelings too, I have needs too, I want to be on the receiving end too.

This is not a problem of me just not communicating my needs properly. I think this is the bare minimum really. I'm here pouring my heart or sharing something with you, and I, at least, expect that would be an opening for you to do the same, and vice versa. If I need to keep communicating my needs, it just feels like I'm dealing with a literal toddler and I have not sign up to be anyone's parents - I don't even like kids that much.

But how to do that when most people you meet aren't willing to move a finger because they're too busy, or tired, or stressed out, or disordered to be able to see beyond those barriers? I've been there and I've been trying to fix it. It's not easy but I know for a fact it's not impossible and there's better out there. For me. That's what I'm looking for.

I'm not the one that's going to do anything to fix it for others. I'm no therapist and I'm not being paid for it. I have enough going on in my own personal life to take on another person's burden when I know very well - with how they show up - they won't be able to help me with mine. It's always about giving without looking for anything in exchange until you're surrounded by people taking from you and you're emptying yourself out for nothing.

I always knew I was in the right direction in my treatment and overall mental health, and I also knew the problem were other people actually! I just were not able to articulate it very well until recently. I'm glad I can pin-point that now.

Connections cannot work one-sidedly.

That second post apparently brought up a lot of discussions (hence why reblogs are off) exactly because of people taking it personally since they are the ones doing that stuff. Of course they will take it personally and get defensive: who wants to be called out on an harmful behaviour and having to actually think critically and mindfully to change it. I'm doing the work, I've noticed most people are not.

I have seen a few other people talking about how it's just "better" to not take it personally. And just treat these connection, relationships and people casually and, indeed, that can work wonderfully - and it's something I've been trying to implement in my life at all. That is still a huge problem because I'm looking for quality, not quantity. Having a lot of "unreliable" people who are too busy/sick/stressed out to be with me is not really something that can work for me long term, considering my issues with trauma and attachment. I'll get no safety from these people, and that's fine, too. I would prefer having even one reliable person I can count on, even if that person is myself, than dealing with so much from others with no one to have my back, really.

I have to think of myself and of my own well-being, of the quality of my relationships and just how much I'm wiling to compromise for the sake of other people and for the sake of interconnectedness.

It really does feel like a waste of time when I start talking to someone and am met with the exact same communication patterns and issues, and have to make up for it so things keep on going...

I try to be pretty understanding and I give people the benefit of doubt always. It's still devastating to see the scales tilting because I'm doing "too much" for people who are doing "too little."

I deserve so much better than this.

And I'll get it, even if it's from myself towards my own life.

I'm not wasting any more time or energy in one-sided connections ever again.