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hungryfan45 · 5 years
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How much do you really know about Garrett Clayton? For a celebrity he sure keeps a low profile.This is because he had a dark secret. Garrett Clayton wasn’t even his real name. His real name was Garrett Sanderson.He was a very evil warlock born of the devil and Winifred Sanderson in 1691, but he differed from his mother and aunts in a few ways. He prefered adult prey, specifically men. They were more filling and had more life energy. He also liked to consume his prey body and soul. No life potion needed! And the final and most terrifying thing setting him apart from his predecessors was that he was much more competent. He had consumed many handsome men over the centuries to help him maintain his youthful appearance, and now his eyes were set on Ross Lynch. Garrett thought Ross was cute when they were filming Teen Beach Movie but he Just wasn’t ripe yet. Now Ross was all grown up and delicious. Ross was surfing one day when Garrett say him emerge from the waters. He looked through his mother’s spellbook and found the perfect hex. “Hansomus minimus” He whispered pointing his finger at Ross. The surfer found his body rapidly shrinking until he was the size of a doll. Garrett swooped in and picked up the tiny actor. “I put a spell on you” the warlock gloated as Ross kicked his tiny legs for dear life. Garrett raised him over his gaping maw and dropped him inside. He gave his belly a pat, “And now you’re mine.”
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thelandofmrsparkle · 7 years
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A Glossary Of Terms
1-kyu:
First level. As in the top level of the Japanese Language Profiency Test!
A man:
Ten thousand. Sounds cool, don't it?
Anime:
Cartoon.
Apato:
Apartment.
Apato Biru:
Apartment building.
Apropos:
Appropriate (French).
Arubaito:
Part-time job, esp. one for students.
Asa-gohan:
Breakfast (lit. "morning rice").
Base brat:
Someone whose parent(s) was (were) military personnel, therefore necessitating living on military bases and multiple traumatic cross-country moves during childhood.
Bento:
Japanese boxed lunch.
Bit:
Slang for stole, copied, and/or plagerized..
Blocking:
A stage term that means where actors are supposed to stand on-stage.
BOE:
JET abbreviation for Board Of Education.
Boshi:
A hat or baseball cap.
Bosozoku:
Young Japanese gang members who ride around on real noisy, super-modified motorcycles (lit. "speed tribes").
Bougie:
Slang term for "bourgeois"
Bunkasai:
School "culture festival;" a bizarre mix of talent show, open house and carnival.
Bureki:
Brakes.
Can't Be Arsed:
See "couldn't be arsed."
Carte blanche:
The freedom to do whatever you please (French).
-Chan:
Attached to someone's name to infer affection for that person as a friend. Also used to indicate that the person being refered to is a child.
Chelsea Smile:
Inserting a knife into the mouth of a person one is assaulting and cutting at either end of the mouth, so as to extend the victim's smile in a grotesque fashion.
Chikan:
Pevert or molester. See also hentai
Chimpira:
A low-level yakuza.
Chi chi fou fou:
Fancy.
Cho:
Very. See also totemo.
Chotto:
A little.
Chugakko:
Junior high school.
Chugakkusei:
Junior high school student.
Conbini:
Convenience store (Montréalers: depanneur), which are ubiquotous in Japan.
Couldn't Be Arsed:
English slang, meaning "couldn't be bothered." Also works as "can't be arsed."
Crust:
A style of punk rock known for its death metal-esque vocals and overall severity. Crust punks are well known for their aversion to personal hygeine and love of mescaline.
Dafuya:
A ticket scalper.
Daibutsu:
Buddah. Or, more commonly, a giant-ass statue of the Buddah.
Daigakko:
University.
Daikyuu:
A day off in lieu of having worked on a regular day off (e.g. do-yobi).
Dame, dame:
Forbidden, as in "don't do that!"
(da)Saitama:
A nickname for Saitama City used by the more cosmopolitan Tokyoites. Dasai means "uncool."
Deets:
Slang term for "details."
Denki:
Electricity; or, electronics store.
Depato:
Department store.
Deshita:
Was. Kind of.
Dinkus:
Dink (Latin).
DIY:
"Do It Yourself." A punk rock manifesto/slogan (North America) or the way to describe homeowner-done home renovations (Merry Olde England).
Dodgu baru:
Dodge ball (formerly known as murder ball).
Dojo:
A school or building devoted to martial arts.
Domo arigato gozaimashita:
"Thank you very much."
Dorama:
Katakanasized English for "drama," meaning "soap opera."
Dosh:
Money. Sorry, I've been renting to many "there's gangsters in London"-type movies lately!
Do-yobi:
Would be Saturday, wouldn't it now?
Echo Parque:
Echo Park. A neighbourhood in Los Angeles (Spanish).
Eigo:
English.
Eikawa:
English conversation school.
El Jefe:
The boss (Spanish).
Enkai:
The legendary "office party" of Japan, where you colleagues try to get you as drunk as possible. Notorious for being the social occassion where the reserved and meek Japanese people you work with go off and get nuts.
Ethiopia no ryoori:
Ethiopian food. Look, just put any country before no ryoori and you are talking about the food of that country. It's just that easy!
FA:
Fuck All
Fameru, the:
The other, more centrally-located but crappier, apartment building wherein almost all the other AET's working for the Saitama-shi are housed.
Flossing:
Wearing clothing or jewelry in a flashy, homologic manner.
Flush:
In the wacky world of poker, five cards of the same suit. A good hand.
Furikomi:
Transferring money from your bank account to someone else's.
Fushigi:
Weird, as in spooky or mysterious weird. Like an Astro-boy action figure spookily and mysteriously "floating" in a Denny's toy. Hello? Go back and read the sentence again!
Gaijin:
Foreigner. Non-Japanese.
Gaijin cado:
The "Alien Registration Card" that every foreigner living here is required to carry at all times.
Gaikokku:
Foreign country or countries. Any country or countries that is not Japan.
Gakusei:
Student. Or students. Depending.
Game senta:
Arcade ("game centre" - get it?).
Ganbaranai!:
"Don't try!" "Why bother?" "Do a half-assed job, if even that much." The opposite of ganbatte.
Ganbatte yo!:
"Fight!" "Try hard!" "Do your best!" J-folk never tire of uttering these words of encouragement at every opportunity.
Genkan:
That part of a J-house right after the front door where you take off your shoes. Considered part of "outside," so if you don't leave your door locked here, don't be surprised when delivery guys, Jehovah's Witnesses, the cops and the NHK guy just open your front door and stand in the genkan, calling for you!
Genki:
Healthy, happy, in good spirits, socialable, frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.
Genkikunai:
Unhealthy, unhappy, in poor spirits, unsocialable, not frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.
Geri:
Either diarrhea or having sex with your girlfriend. Can't remember which one, but either way, geri is a top-notch excuse to give your supervisor when you want the day off. Though I'd recommend seiri-tsuu for the ladies.
Getsu-yobi:
Monday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?
Gi:
Martial arts uniform. Costume? Get-up? No, uniform!
Giving us the hi-hat:
1920's gangster slang for being snubbed or disrespected, see?
Glasgow Kiss:
A head butt.
Gobsmacked:
Flabbergasted; astounded; shocked (English slang).
Gomen nasai:
"I'm sorry."
Haafu:
Katakanized English for "half," which is how mixed-"race" offspring of one Japanese parent & one gaijin are actually refered to here!
Hanabi:
Fireworks.
Hanamizu:
Snot (lit. "nose water").
Hanko:
A stamp or personal seal, used in lieu of a signature on most legal documents, bank forms, etc.
Hansomu:
Jinglish for "handsome."
Harajuku:
A popular district of central Tokyo, known for attracting throngs of young people dressed to nines in all manner of garb. Particulary on Sundays!
Hawdkoah:
The New York City pronounciation of "hardcore", a style of punk music.
Hella:
San Francisco slang for "very" (lit. "hell of").
Hentai:
Pervert. See also chikan.
Hiragana:
One of the Japanese syllabic alphabets.
Hisashiburi ne!:
"Long time, no see!"
Ichi-nensei:
First-year students (Canadian translation: 7th grade).
Inaka:
The country. A rural area.
Isofuckingashii:
Bufuckingsy.
Itabashi-sensei:
My supervisor at the Saitama Board of Education.
Itai:
"That hurts!" lit."ouch!"
Italian run-through:
When an actor, in rehearsal, goes through their lines as quickly as possible. Used to assist with line memorization
Itari no ryoori:
Italian food.
Izakaya:
Japanese-style drinking/eating bars designed to accomodate larger groups of drunks.
Janken:
Rock, Paper, Scissors.
JET:
The Japan Exchange Teaching program - how I managed to fanagle my way into this country.
Jet Coaster:
Roller coaster.
Jido hanbaiki:
Vending machine.
Jiko shokai:
A self-introduction - a prepared speech used to introduce yourself to others.
Jitensha:
A bicycle.
Joie de vivre:
"Joy of life." (French)
Jozu:
Skilled, talented, impressive.
Jofuckingzu:
Skilfuckingled, talenfuckingted, imfuckingpressive.
JTE:
JET program jargon for a Japanese Teacher of English.
Judo:
A Japanese martial art involving the throwing of people. Derived from ju jitsu, another Japanese martial art.
Juku:
Lit. "cram school." Private tutoring-style schools most kids go to after regular school, to give them that edge on the all-important, life-determining exams they face at the end of junior and senior high school.
Ju-ni-nichi matsuri:
Some sort of weird festival in Urawa that appears to celebrate December 12th. Literally translates to "The Festival of the 12th."
Kafucho:
Hay fever. But really, pollen allergy, esp. cedar pollen allergy. Which is bad news given that 60% of Japan's forests were clearcut to make way for cedar plantations.
Kai-yobi:
Tuesday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?
Kame:
Turtle.
Kana:
The Japanese written language, composed of the hiragana, katakana and kanji alphabets.
Kanji:
The Japanese characters that are actually Chinese characters and usually have two or three totally unrelated pronunciations and meanings. Oh, and there are thousands upon thousands of them, too.
Kanpai:
Cheers/Skoal/Here's Mud In Yer Eye.
Kare rice:
As near as I can figure out the Japanese pronounciation for "curry rice," a popular Japanized curry dish.
Kasa:
Umbrella.
Katakana:
The Japanese syllabic alphabet reserved for non-Japanese words.
Katana:
Those cool samurai swords. Also, an iconic "rice rocket" made by Kawasaki.
Kawaii:
Cute.
Keitai:
A cellular telephone. Which you would have ascertained, had you continued reading the sentence.
Kendo:
A Japanese martial art involving wooden swords and the hitting of people with them.
Kenkyujo:
The proper pronounciation of the Japanese word for Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.(see also kinkyujo).
Kimpura:
Um, marinated shredded vegetables? Not entirely sure, but I eat it!
Kin Jeh:
Vegetarian. Though I cain't recall if it means "vegetarian food" or "vegetarian person." Ask Thi. She'll know. (Thai).
Kinkyujo:
Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.
Kin-yobi:
Come on. If moku-yobi was Thursday and this followed Thursday, what the hell day do you think it is?
Kissaten:
Café/coffee shop.
Koban:
Police box - a little, mini-office where at least one cop is always present. Thousands of thems all over Japanese neighbourhoods, which is sometimes credited as a reason for Japan's low crime rate.
Kocho-sensei:
Principal (lit. "head teacher").
Koguro:
aka "ko-gals." Lit. translating to "high school girls," this refers to a Japanese female youth subculture where teenage girls bleach their hair, tan themselves as dark as possible, wear a lot of white makeup and dress as cute as possible. Think Britany Spears as done by David Lynch and you are getting close to what it's like.
Kokkoi:
Cool.
Konnichiwa:
Hello/Good day.
Konshu:
This week.
Kowe:
Scary (refering to males).
Kowaii:
Scary.
Kuro:
Black.
Kyoto-sensei:
Vice-Principal.
Kyudo:
Japanese archery.
Kyuryobi:
Payday.
Lactards:
The lactose intolerant; usually those whose bodies do not produce the enzyme required to digest the protein lactose, found in milk and diary products.
La Comida Mexicana:
Mexican food (Spanish).
Live House:
A bar where bands play. The tweaked thing is that, unless the band is huuuge, they probably have to rent out the venue, PA & staff and produce the show themselves. Cost? 300,000 - 400,000 yen! Yipes!
Maddog:
To glare at someone in as threatening a manner as possible.
Maka:
The accepted abbreviation of Makadonorado.
Makadonorado:
McDonald's - an American fast-food restaurant chain, popular in Japan. See also Maka.
Mamachari:
A "shopping bike" - a rickety old-style bike with a basket on the front and sometimes the back. The kind you'd expect to see grandmas trucking around on. Which they do. Along with everyone else.
Man:
10,000.
Manga:
A Japanese comic book, which are read by children and adults alike and cover every possible topic and story, including golf, tennis and, of course, pornography.
Mansion:
Hilariously enough, what they call really big multimulti unit apartment buildings!
Matsuri:
Festival.
Megane:
Eyeglasses.
Meishi:
Business card (lit. "name card").
Melonpan:
A melon-flavoured bun. Also, a character on the popular children's television series Ampanman. Whose title character is a flying superhero with a sweet bean-paste-filled bun for a head.
Merde:
"Shit," in French.
Mi Vida Loca:
"My Crazy Life." In this case, a pretty good gang film. Not the Ricky Martin song (Spanish).
Moku-yobi:
Come now, you deduced that this was Thursday all by yourself, didn't you?
Moleto:
Wallet (Spanish). Possibly the only spanish word I remember from that summer class I took four years ago.
Mugly:
Weather so hot and humid ("muggy") that it is downright ugly ("ugly"). Just because I made a word up does not mean that it should not be in everyone's lexicon.
Muzukashii:
Difficult.
Nasi goreng:
Thee scrumptious, rice-based national dish of Indonesia.
Natsukashii:
Kind of when something caused you to reminisce in a happy, sentimental, "ah, the memories!" way.
Ne?:
"Isn't it so?/Don't you think?" Liberally inserted at the end of practically any sentence. Similar to the Canadian "Eh?" Or the Parisian "quoi?" Or the Québecois "la." Etc.
Neko:
Cat.
Nenkyu:
Paid vacation time. Which, in theory and according to your JET contract, you can book off with your supervisor without much problem. In theory.
Nihon-go:
Japanese language.
Nihon-go no sensei:
Japanese language teacher.
Nihon-jin:
A Japanese person.
Nihon ryoori:
Japanese food.
Niku nashi onegai dekimasu ka:
Could you pretty please make that without putting dead animal parts on it?
Ni-nensei:
Second-year students (Canadian translation: 8th grade.
Nissei:
Second-generation Japanese living somewhere other than Japan.
Nomihodai:
A special and popular deal at Japanese bars, where you and your friends may drink all you possibly can in a set period of time, for a set price.
Nova usagi-chan:
The annoying animated rabbit mascot of the largest chain of private English schools in Japan, whose theme song is permanently ingraved on my memory thanks to heavy airplay of their TV commericals. "Ippai kikite, ippai shaberuru NOVANOVA!".
Off-book:
A stage term meaning that an actor has memorized their part and can or will rehearse without having to look at the script.
Ohayo gozaimasu:
Good morning.
Ogenki desu ka?:
How are you? (honorific form).
Oishii:
Delicious.
Ojiisan:
Grandfather. But let's not start singing about his stupid fucking clock, ok?
OLs:
"Office Ladies." Women working low-level secretarial/receptionist/clerk positions in Japanese offices, until they get married and stop all this silly nonsense about having a career. Which means pretty much any woman working in an office in Japan, since, of course, only men should be promoted or hold positions of importance or responsibility.
Omiyage:
Little individually-wrapped snacks you bring back from a trip to anywhere for all your co-workers. A major Japanese tradition.
Onigirii:
Popular J-snack of a triangle of rice wrapped in seaweed, usually with a fishy or seaweedy centre.
Onsen:
Hot spring. J-folk loooove love love to visit the innumerable hot springs dotted around Japan on their vacations.
Onis:
Demons.
Otaku:
Nerds. But especially obsessive-compulsive collecting nerds.
Pachinko:
This wildly-popular but weird gambling game involving a sort of vertically-mounted pinball machine, hundreds of steel balls, prizes and a lot of noise and flashiness.
Pit justice:
A straight-edge slang term for physically attacking someone in the dance area of a punk rock concert.
Player:
One who maintains a high level of romantic popularity and multiple romantic relationships.
Poutine:
French I mean Freedom Fries smothered in a special gravy and then covered with melting cheese curds. Québec's national dish, right above chien chaud steamée.
Purikura:
Special arcades specializing in those cute photo sticker booths where you take pictures with your friends and then customize them like mad.
Quelle Surprise:
"What a surprise!" (French).
Queue:
A line of people. (British).
Queuing:
Lining up (British).
Restos:
A Montréal abbreviation for "restaurants" (probably French).
Reverse:
Puke (verb).
Roku-nensei:
6th graders.
Romanji:
What they call the Roman (read: English-language) alphabet o'er here.
Ryokan:
A traditional-style Japanese inn.
SaiSta:
Slang for former World Cup venue Saitama Stadium.
Saisho RU! Janken PON!:
What J-people say instead of "1,2, 3!" when playing Janken. (see Janken).
Saitama BOE:
The Saitama City Board of Education.
Saitama-ken:
The prefecture of Saitama. A prefecture is like a province or state. 47 of 'em in Japan!
Salary(wo)man:
Business(wo)man. But pretty much always men. Women who work in offices are OLs.
San-nensei:
Third-year students (Canadian translation: 9th grade.
Seiri-tsuu:
Menstrual cramps.
Sempai:
The more senior, and therefore, superior person in a given work/school situation.
Sensei:
The honorific term for teacher.
Senta Gyaru:
Katakaniz'd English for "Centre Girl," which refers to a mostly-female subculture of high school girls who hang around Shibuya's Centre Street dresses in animal costumes with their hair dyed as unnaturally fluorescent as possible, with fake jewels glued on their faces. See also koguro.
Senta Guy:
The male version of a senta gyaru.
Seppuku:
Japanese ritual suicide.
Servo:
Brain (French).
Shag:
Fuck (British slang).
Shanked:
To be stabbed with a homemade or improvised knife.
Shibuya:
A popular district in central Tokyo for shopping, food, or dates. I like to pronounce it "shi- BOO-YA!" but somehow I don't think that's very original of me. Satisfying, though!
Shinjuku:
A popular district in central Tokyo, known for its nightlife.
Shinkansen:
Tha bullet train! Pow! Zip!
Shippu:
Stinky ointment-laced gauze. Did you not read the sentence or something?
Shizzy:
Slang term for shiznit, which is, in itself, a slang term.
Shiznit:
The stuff, the deal, etc.
Shogakko:
Elementary school.
Shogakkusei:
Elementary school students. I mean, in only follows, right?
Shogunai:
"It can't be helped." The J-way of saying, "sorry, you're fucked!"
Shogunakatta:
Past tense of shogunai.
Shojin ryoori:
Lit. "temple food." Special Japanese vegetarian you'll find at Buddhist temples, emphasizing elements of Buddhism in food form.
Shoppingu:
Shopping.
Shoppu:
Shop. See, it's not so hard, hey?
Shouganai:
It can't be helped/there's nothing to be done about the situation.
SIKE!:
1980's slang for "I tricked you!", yelled at the tricked in a mocking tone.
Skint:
British slang for flat-ass broke.
Slowplayed:
To have played a strong hand weakly, by checking instead of betting or by calling instead of raising. Usually done to win extra bets by keeping more players around for future rounds of betting. Thank you U of A type Jonathan Schaeffer for the definition!
Somen:
A type of Japanese noodle, usually served in a tasty soup.
Souji:
Cleaning/cleaning time.
-Sugoi:
Great.
Sui-yobi:
Wednesday. You should be getting the hang of the yobis now, right?
Sumimasen:
Excuse me/pardon me/sorry 'bout that. One of the handiest and most oft-used expressions in The Japan. Learn it, live it, love it.
Sumo:
You know, those really big fat Japanese guys that wrestle each other? Like in that Weezer video!
Support:
What English people call the opening act.
Tabernac:
The short version of tabernacle, which is essentially the French equivalent of "fuck."
Tacoyaki:
A super-popular Japanese streetfood, consisting of chopped octopus cooked in little balls of batter, served with tons of mayo and dried fish flakes. Taco=octopus, which can be a bit of a surprise if you are trying to order la comida Mexicana.
Taiko:
Japanese drums/drumming.
Taikukan:
Gym.
Takyuubin:
Delivery/courier company.
Tarento:
"Talent" - minor celebrities and personalities that populate the game/talk shows that comprise 90% of Japanese television.
Tatami:
Rice-straw mats that serve as flooring in traditional Japanese rooms. Most houses have at least one tatami room and rooms in Japan are measured according to how many tatami mats they fit or would fit.
Terebi:
Television.
Terebi dorama
TV drama.
'The Bash:
Our nickname for Itabashi-sensei.
The filth:
English slang for police.
The Old Bill:
Slightly-more polite English slang for police.
The River:
The last card dealt in a hand of poker. What Mile End Poker Society members would term "fifth street."
Tomodachi:
Friend.
Tori:
Chicken.
Totemo:
Very. See also cho.
Toyu:
Kerosene.
Tweaker:
Amerian west coast slang for person addicted to methamphetamine, aka speed.
Udon:
A broad noodle.
Unko:
Shit.
Urusai:
Shut up (lit. "[too] noisy/loud!").
Usagi:
Rabbit.
Utage:
I honestly have no fucking idea what "utage" means. Can anyone help me out here? Good fucking alcohol, though. Real tasty, that there utagehol.
Vick:
Victimize.
Vignette:
A short scene (French).
Wa, The:
Harmony. Balance.
Wakarimasen:
"I don't understand." See also wakarinai.
Wakarimashita:
To understand, past tense, formal.
Wakarinai:
The less polite, informal version of "I don't understand." See also wakarimasen.
Wakaru:
The unconjugated form of "to understand."
Wakatta:
The shortened, informal, past tense form of "to understand."
White Day:
A special, Japanese-only holiday invented so that Japanese men could buy Japanese women white gifts and/or chocolate, partially to reciprocate them for having received gifts and/or chocolate on Valentine's Day. Which, in Japan, is when only men receive gifts from women, never vice versa.
WTF:
What The Fuck.
Yakisoba:
Fried noodles, usually with pork or beef and some other stuff.
Yakitori:
Grilled pieces of chicken on a skewer.
Yak:
See yakuza.
Yakuza:
Every country has their own version of the mafia. The Yakuza are Japan's.
Yamasigawa-sensei:
My supervisor's assistant at the Saitama Board of Education.
Yorushiko onegaishimasu:
Sort of a catch-all polite phrase to use when asking someone to do something for you.
Yubinkyoku:
Post office.
Yukatta:
Traditional Japanese summer garment, similiar to a kimono but made of lighter cotton instead of silk. Still just as difficult to put on, though. Or so I'm told.
Yuki:
Snow.
Yuki Matsuri:
Thee Hokkaido Snow Festival. One of the biggest and most famous festivals in Japan. Kind of like the Québec Winter Carnival, but with more snow sculptures and less Bon Homme.
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