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[thelandofmrsparkle]

w e e k t w o august 3, 2002 - august 10, 2002

OK, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I am a social animal at heart. And now I find myself living alone for the first time in over a decade, in a city where I don't speak, read or understand the language and where the locals conspicuously avoid my gaze or acknowledging my existence if at all possible. Quite the deviation from the fawning attention and "rock star" treatment all the JET literature warned me I'd have to deal with. Four theories on this:

Said advice only applied to JET's in the inaka and urban Japanese are fed fucking up with gaijin;

the locals fear being forced into conversation with me with only their high-school english to work with;

the locals see me in my shirt sleeved shirt and tie and backpack and assume that I am a Mormon missionary;

I am a hideous and repulsive barbarian freak whose very presence revolts any civilized and right-thinking Japanese person.

Or maybe things will improve once I'm more settled in. After all, it's only been a week and I haven't even been to the schools I am to be teaching in yet (that comes next month). Will have to wait and see.

In the meantime and not being one to take things lying down, I spent my first full weekend in Japan commuting to action-packed Tokyo to relieve the post-work doldrums of (da)Saitama life. Good call. No matter where I am, getting on that city's subway with some decent hiphop on the headphones (props to Dan Casey, even if I had to burn the comp my own damn self!) never fails to make me feel better and more at home. Merike, the super-excellent comp you burned me was on all weekend - "Jolene" playing whilst shopping for groceries in a Shinjuku depato; "London 1888" on whilst walking through Harajuku crowds on a Saturday night.

My favourite weekend vignette: on the Saikyo train line headed out of the city. It's packed like you'd expect a Tokyo train to be. Across from where I am standing are two Japanese dudes toting surfboards, their hair bleached like everyone else (it's really ubiquitous here - Thi, this ain't Singapore: Asians Can Bleach Hair!), sand still stuck to their arms, which, like the rest of their visible skin, are tanned to the point of being a very dark brown, a colour I've never even seen human skin turn. Lying between us, on the floor of the train, is a drunken early-30's businessman, drooling, his suit crumpled yet still fashionable. He can't stand up and remains sprawled in the middle of the floor for the duration of the ride, but before lying down there he did take the time to remove his shoes and place them neatly together beside his feet. Ladytron's "Playgirl" plays on my headphones.

A week of firsts. Wednesday night was my first enkai, which inevitably led to the first time I've tried sake, which in turn led to the first time I've really gotten up on the mic at a karaoke bar, which resulted from the first time I've been drunk in about 14 years. A question: how does a karoke box bar that has a 1000 yen-all-you-can-drink-for-an-hour deal not go bankrupt? Our waiter was a breakdancer. At one point a drunk Japanese woman coming back from the bathroom dragged me into her karaoke box where by chance was one of her friends who had lived in Vancouver for a couple of years.

I also received the nickname Dialtone for being the first of the new crop of JET's with one in their apartment. Mike is now The Gyoza Kid for dietary reasons.

4000 yen later, I caught the last train home at about 1am and woke up with a fantastic hangover - the nausea, the taste like a sweaty and mangy (Thi, I am talking THAILAND mangy!) dog had crawled into my mouth and died at some point in the night. It's a wonder why I gave up the joys of alcohol for fourteen years.

Other firsts - had my first dish of natto - the legendary nutritious and disgusting batch of fermented soybeans. Plain, it smells like old socks, is simultaneously sticky and slimy and most westerners will not touch the stuff (similar to the Japanese reaction to root beer). But here's the secret, as revealed to me by Itabashi-sensei, my boss and chaperone: dump in the mustard packet it comes with, drown it in soy sauce, throw in some seaweed if its handy, and stir it all together with your chopsticks 100 times. Then, when served on rice, the resulting concoction is actually quite palatable!

Currently on TV is a show where an obese Japanese man is travelling through London eating food. Using only the phrases "can you cook curry?" and "I am hungry!" he gets himself invited to someone's home for dinner.

John-san, the 3-year JET vet who is also my neighbour, has returned from his return visit to the UK and was kind enough to help me find my mamachari (which I've been riding around on ever since with much glee) and point out the local donut shop. The mamachari was a godsend after almost two weeks of walking around on my tender ankle, reinjuring it on the daily. I zipped around the neighbourhood all yesterday and have a nice sunburn to prove it. While riding around I encountered a gaijin woman and three Japanese women, one of whom was wearing a UBC shirt. So naturally I struck up a conversation. The Japanese women were all Urawa high school english teachers and Lisa (the gaijin) was their JET. Turns out she's also vegetarian! Today she took me to her infinitely superior local supermarket where I blew almost 6000 yen on stuff. She gave me a lesson in identifying dead animals on ingredient lists and I bought a lot of fresh veggies, stuff based on how entertaining it was (like "Gravel Choco" - chocolate that looks like gravel, it's motto: "Watch out! Try to eat! It's nice, isn't it?") and stuff from the west (Classico pasta sauce! I refrained from buying the Skippy peanut butter with Nestle Crunch bits crumbled into it, but only because I didn't buy any bread for to be putting it on).

(Behold! The mighty and valiant steed, the mamachari! Revel in its awesome glory!)

The Japanese glutton is now in Mexico City. From what I can discern, he's joined a mariachi band and is trying to get Mexicans to eat Japanese curry. This, of course, demands my full and undivided attention. Todd out.

w e e k t h r e e august 11, 2002 - august 17, 2002

[thelandofmrsparkle]

S a y o n a r a  S o i r é e

Wednesday, July 24, 2002 8pm-onwards

Casa del Popolo, Montréal, Québec, Canada

Thank you to all who came out

Some pictures:

(Francois; Uyen Vu photobombing)

[thelandofmrsparkle]

w e e k o n e july 27 - august 2, 2002

While my sayonara soirée met or exceeded all expectations for a good time and hot-ass send off (and thanks to all who came out to see me off, particularly special musical guests Dr. Octoboobies, The Wolfnote and Charter Trip a.k.a. Daive - nice call, Pete!), there was something that didn't feel right the entire week of my preparations for the move to Japan. And I think it was not knowing if I had a place in the world. I had envisioned my final week as one of reaffirming my ties to people so that I could take those with me to my new home, far far away from everyone and everything I've known up to that point. And this was largely the case, with one exception - the one person more important, playing a larger role in my life, than all others combined.

It was really my own fault - I let my own insecurities and self-consciousness and anguish over my myriad shortcomings get the best of me. So instead of making the most of our last days and hours together, I spent them feeling hurt and resenting her for pursuing her own life, because it became apparent that my place in her life may be radically different than how it has been. In fact, my place had changed radically within the course of a week. Or at least I believed it had, no matter how much she reassured me otherwise. No matter what she said, I looked for incongruencies in what she did. And I found them, then anguished over them instead of just relishing my good fortune for having her in my life at all.

Now, it's not entirely my fault - I was couch surfing for a week while simultaneously at death's door with hella flu (on my birthday no less!), so I was all discombobulated and barely ate anything at all for the final week. Not the best state o' mind to begin with, then compound that with moving-to-another-continent stress and things get kind of distorted in one's feverish and nutrient-starved servo.

So, while I'm glad I got to say goodbye in style at the sayonara soirée (if you were invited and didn't come and have not a valid excuse communicated to me either prior to or immediately following, rest assured you are on my shit list!), the goodbye I wanted for the person who matters most did not happen the way I wish it had.

This is typical me - crying about what I might not have, disregarding the amazing number of truly fantastic people I have in my life!

last-minute packing: July 26, 2002

The flight to Narita airport 1ce again confirmed my inability to sleep in a moving vehicle. Lengthy and largely uneventful. I took advantage of the time by grilling the 16-year-old Japanese girl sitting next to me about "kokkoi" nihon-go. Cho is cooler than totemo(Lily, don't let it go to your head!); Makadonorado is shortened to Maka by those in the know. My nihon go no sensei was returning home to Tokyo from a 6-month stay learning eigo in Ottawa. She truly did not want to go back and was almost in tears when we touched down at Narita Airport. I added her to my mental list of Japanese women I know who did not want to go back after visiting Canada - what exactly is that all about?

(my Air Canada flight AC1 nihon-go no sensei -domo arigato gozaimashita!) A three-hour bus ride from Narita (what kind of city has its airport 3 HOURS from downtown?) took us to the lovely Keio Plaza Hotel in Shinjuku, which for the next 3 days would be subjected to 1,500 JETS renacting frosh week. Not really my scene, so I stuck mostly with folks I knew already, or wandered around on my own. The first night, lost in Shinjuku, I wandered by a closed office tower surrounded by packs of Japanese kids with all manner of boomboxes blaring drum and bass, hip hop, j-pop and everything in between, breakdancing or executing Britney Spears-style coordinated group dance moves. It was my first taste of the Japan I was hoping to stumble onto and here I was, literally stumbling onto it.

The other JET's are largely the middle-class cream of the college crop - young, smart, attractive and capable - so they were largely not real interesting to hang out with. In fact, I'm being kind - there are some serious dullards in the crop. I found the boys particularly homogenous in a cookie-cutter gelled-haircut stylee. OK, there were some pretty cool and interesting folks I met, but I'm going to try not to dwell on them, since I will likely not be seeing them again.

I felt a little black sheep-esque, being not so young, or attractive, but that's really an extension of my university experience. And anyhow, I still had smart and capable and not quite so mind-numbingly dull going for me! Still, I commisserated with someone who while sympathetic, herself scored full marks in all four categories, making her commisseration somewhat disingenuous (spelling?). But as Thi would say, "no mattah!"

Props to Nads and Jen for taking me away from the Keio Plaza JET summer camp por la comida mexicana. Props to Mai for taking me away from frosh week at Keoi Plaza for some itari no ryooori and shoppingu, even if she did tell me that I was fat (like I needed that pointed out to me!). She brought me Bruce Lee action figures though, so really, it all balances out. You, know, like yin and yang!

Picked up the next day by Itabashi-sensei and Yamasigawa-sensei, who both seem very nice. Yamasigawa-sensei's english is not quite as good as Itabashi-sensei's so he and Yamada-sensei at the Saitama BOE remain enigmas somewhat. But Itabashi-sensei seems quite nice and I'm sure I'll get on well with everyone - because when don't I?

My apato is a lot nicer than the student residence-esque place the other two JETS in the area have been placed in. True, I trade off a bit - they are surrounded by JET veterans while I am fending for myself over by Saitama Super Arena. But my place is bigger, nicer, quiet and well-appointed.

Actually the social isolation is tough for me on a couple of levels. One, I haven't lived by myself in over a decade. I'm used to sharing living space with roommates and friends. Two, I'm used to being somewhere where I understand the language - where I can read signs and comprehend what people are saying and say things to people that they will likewise comprehend. I'm used to being somewhere where people will acknowledge your existence from time to time when running across them on the street, instead of obviously avoiding looking your way (could that be a fear of being forced to display their rusty-and-scant high school eigo?). I'm used to having a phone and an internet connection (hopefully phone by Monday - getsu-yobi - and internet on Tuesday - kai-yobi)!

Case in point: after Itabashi and Yamasigawa-senseis dropped me off, I managed to really fuck up my ankle bad by tripping whilst carring a 70-pound bag of my stuff. It is currently purple and swollen as hell. Last night I determined it to be the worst foot injury I've ever incurred and I couldn't really get off the futon. Since I had no phone or anyone popping by I spent the entire night watching incomprehensible yet quite entertaining J-terebi and wondering if I had sprained shit. Asleep at 11pm (noon Montréal time). Awake by 4am (5pm in Montréal).

But I guess this is the "adjustment period" and once I'm "settled in" and teaching a version of english in two junior high schools and the elementary school across the street I will be feeling much better about everything.

w e e k t w o august 3, 2002 - august 10, 2002

[thelandofmrsparkle]

A C T U A L     E N G L I S H     S L O G A N S    S E E N     O N     T - S H I R T S     W O R N    B Y     P E O P L E     I N     A N D     A R O U N D     T H E     M E T R O P O L I T A N    T O K Y O     A R E A

As witnessed and then compiled by Todd, commencing August 16, 2002. - - - -

Warning to non-Japanese and native English speakers: before laughing uproariously at the following list, please consider the multitude of t-shirts and other items sold in the west with kana printed on them (not to mention all the westerners with kana tattoos whose only knowledge of its meaning comes solely from what the tattooist told them it meant) and what said kana might actually mean in Japanese.

- - - -

"WE HAD A RORTY TIME" - seen on a 20-something Japanese woman on the Saikyo line, Ikebukruo station, August 16, 17:45.

"YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING EVALUATE" - on a twenty-something chap in lovely downtown Urawa, August 28, 13:00.

"HYSTERIC 3 MINUTE COOKING" - on the back of a large pink t-shirt worn as a dress by a 4-year-old girl, also in lovely downtown Urawa, August 28, 16:30.

"GUNS FEVER" - on a black t-shirt worn by a slacker-type dude, Shibuya, August 30, 18:30.

"MARIJUANA KEEP ATTACKING IT ALL THE TIME" - on a clearly pro-pot baseball shirt adorned with rainbow pot leaves, worn by a mid-20's guy, Saikyo line, September 6, 18:10.

"DAD CHIMP SAID...ALL VERY BEST" - in brown "old west" font on the back of a white t-shirt worn by a woman in her late teens, with her friend, in a sticker-making arcade (that's something you just gotta be here to understand), Shibuya, September 14, 21:30.

"NEED $5 TO SEE THE MONSTER" - on a white sweatshirt worn by a guy with bleached hair in his early twenties, on the Saikyo line, September 22, 14:15. The word "MONSTER" was silkscreened backwards, as it would appear in a mirror.

"NO MORE IS GOOD" - on the front of a white hoodie, with another slogan on the back reading "REMEMBER WORLD'S RULES," worn by a 20-something woman on a mamachari, near Kita Yono station, September 29, 15:38.

"SEEK OUT TRAP" - black t-shirt, worn by 20-something guy, Yoyogi station, October 4, 19:45.

"BORN TO LOSE" - not funny in itself, except it was on a t-shirt worn by a 20-something guy going into Shinjuku's busiest off-track betting facility to place his bet on the ponies. Shinjuku, October 27, 13:45.

"THE BOMB WENT KABOON IT WAS REALLY LOUD" - on a black t-shirt in omiya station, 4pm sometime in September.

"BE IMPRESSED AND THEY GATHERED TOGETHER TO MIZPEH A PRAYER IS PUT" - on a black sweatshirt, on a 20-something hipster guy with bleached hair, K-T line, February 6, 2003, 18:00.

"AUTOMOBILE - EMOTION AND CONFIDENCE" - on an old guy's baseball hat, Musashino line, March 8, 2003, 16:30.

"MADE IN WORLD" - in huge block letter on the back of a cool kid's shirt, Omiya Muji, March 9, 2003, 15:00.

"LET'S TAKE A CHANCE AND DEVOTE ALL YOUR LIFE TO THE GAMBLING" - in pink capital letters, on the hood of a turquoise hoodie worn by a girl in her late teens, Yamanote line, March 21, 2003, 13:35.

"CAMOFLAGE IS ALSO NECESSARY FOR YOUR PROTECTION IN SPACE." - baseball shirt, guy in late 30's, Hibiya line, May 3, 2003, 16:45.

"LIFE AT YOUR OWN RISK - HAVE THE STAGE TO ONE SELF" - back of black hoodie, worn by punk kid on mamachari, near Saitama University, May 14, 2003, 12:20pm.

"CHOOP I FEEL AN URGE TO VISIT YOU, FLOWER CHILDREN" - on the back of a 10-year-old girl's t-shirt, Kawasaki station, May 25, 2003, 16:45.

"ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A BULL BOY" - sooo close to having it right! on the back of one of my basketball teammate's t-shirt, Kawasaki marina recreation centre, May 25, 2003, 18:30.

"JUDGING THE CASE" - the brown t-shirt of a hiphop kid, Ikebukuro station, May 26, 2003, 16:36.

"A BRIEF NOURISHES NEW DREAMS IT'S PEACE OF MIND CALLED COMFORT" - black longsleeve t-shirt worn by greying hipster, Saikyo line, July 16, 2003, 20:20.

"G-DEPT PREVENT: INGRESS" - Utsunomiya line, July 8, 2003, 18:50.

"Do you Thinks My Collture? - in hot pink type, Saikyo line, July 14, 2003, 19:46.

"GIRL WE HAVE NO READY MADE LOVE IN STOCK" - Indeed. Mom's turquoise t-shirt, Kawasaki station, July 19, 2003, 17:10.

"BREAK DOWN FAIRY MINX THAW EVEN" - girl's t-shirt in Akabane station, July 22, 2003, 16:00.    

"PREVAILING BOBSON ELASTIC TEMPERMENT BS" - 12-year-old boy's purple t-shirt, Saikyo line, August 6, 2003, 11:35.

"I LOVE THE PINK PANK FAWN" - Pink t-shirt on twentysomething woman, Omiya Loft, August 7, 2003, 18:54.

"WATCH OUT SEE WHAT YOU DO AND WHAT IT HAPPENS" -t-shirt of woman walking dog, Tokiwa, Urawa, August 20, 2003, 9:05.

"VELVET SNOOZER" - pink trucker hat, high-school girl, Saikyo line, August 22, 2003, 23:55.

"WELL, I'M GONNA DRON NOW" - t-shirt in Times Square mall, Shinjuku, August 29, 2003, 18:30.

"AFTER A STORM CONES THE CALM - SHE FELL ASLEEP AS SOON AS SHE GOT INTO BED" - back of grey tanktop, woman in late 20's carrying Burberry bag, Utsunomiya line, September 4, 2003, 16:05.

"TIMES CHANGE AND WE WITH THEN RN-43062" - red t-shirt, Shinjuku station, September 14, 2002, 21:55.

"PEACE AND DIGNITY ROAD TRIBUTE TO THE SELF-INDULGENCE BLUE HEART" - black long-sleeve t-shirt, Saikyo line, September 18, 2003, 16:40.

"JUVENILE DELINQUENCY NOHELL MOTORCYCLE" -black longsleeve t-shirt, Omiya station, October 4, 2003, 13:40.

"WE SUGGEST SNOB" - black long-sleeve t-shirt, Shibuya, October 10, 2003, 19:30.

"SUPER SONIC SLIMMY STAR NO FUTURE" -back of black button-down shirt, women in early 20's, Saikyo line, October 13, 2003, 13:50.

"7468-01 BEVERLY L. ANGELS IT'S A FOR YOUR HEALTH BOWL!" - back of cream-coloured hoodie, Tabata station McD's, October 14, 2003, 17:20.

"NUMBER WORTH PLENTYS MEAN" - back of a black hoodie, college student, Keihin-Tohoku line, October 21, 2003, 20:23.

"CHAOS BRINGER" - back of a cheap-looking fake-goretex outdoorsy/MEC-stylee jacket, Saikyo line, October 24, 2003, 17:40.

"SEEING YOU GIVES COURAGE PLENTY OF TIME TO MAKE OBSERVATIONS LEISURELY" - back of grey hoodie, 20-ish guy with a Nirvana "Nevermind" tote bag, Keihin-Tohoku line, October 25, 12:50.

"HER NAME IS SNOW WHITE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD? + BANANA FISH" - cool black hoodie, Keihin-Tohoku line, November 5, 2003, 17:50.

"I CONTINUE TO WALK ON THE WONDERFUL WORLD ROAD" - back of hoodie, Omiya station, November 16, 2003, 13:50.

"I'M MINT MINT BONJOUR" - back of a powder blue tracksuit jacket, Shinjuku Station, December 6, 2003, 12:48.

"THE QUEEN GRACED THE OCCASION WITH HER PRESENCE AN EVERYDAY OCCURENCE" - back of longsleeve t-shirt, Tabata McDonald's, January 6, 2004, 17:30.

"YELLOW CORN SLEDGEHAMMER HIGHWAY THE 3RD" - arm of yellow & black "freshie"-style outdoors shell/jacket, Tokaiko line, January 9, 2004, 18:10. Front and back of jacket read "HIGHWAY MAGICIAN."

"EARTHLY PARADISE BY THE STREAM INCEDE MILITALY INFULUENCE RIDER'S CLOTHING" I-embroidered in gold thread on the back of a middle-aged man's olive drab sport jacket, Tokyo station, February 15, 2004, 15:30.

"SEX POT REVENGE BY THE ROADSIDE REVENGE DECONTROL OF WAR NO FEBLE BASTARD" - "J-punk" black vinyl patch on back of hoodie worn by j-punk, Utsunomiya line, February 25, 2004, 20:30.

"Let's give The third Bet?" - bottom of back of hoodie, Atami, March 27, 2004, 13:30.

"WANT TO CHOOSE GOOD FRAME YOUR DREAM" - back of navy t-shirt, Saikyo line, April 24, 2004, 14:55.

"TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY IT IS ALWAYS THE SUN TO THE HEART" - it is indeed. White t-shirt, Ueno station, April 29, 2004, 15:10.

"BLUE NAIL WAVE" - man's black t-shirt, Musashi Urawa station, April 30, 2004, 20:05.

"TOO FAST TO LIVE, TOO YOUNG  TO DIE" - back of white t-shirt worn by three-year-old, Shibuya, May 1, 2004, 16:25.

"DREAMIN' OF JUICY" - Shibuya Zara store, May 1, 2004, 17:30.

"CLUB SASARI WINE STAR" - on a seven-year-old girl's t-shirt, Saikyo line, May 3, 2004, 12:30.

"I'M A BALLOON SELLER" - but she definitely was not. Woman's t-shirt, Tachikawa, May 29, 2004, 16:30.

"MONKEY CREATES NEW GENERATION" - they certainly do. Black t-shirt worn by pimply-faced teenager, Tachikawa, May 29, 2004, 16:35.

"BLACK GANG MAGIXSON" - on the back of a white "gansta"-wear stylee track jacket, in the Maruetsu, June 4, 2004, 13:05.

"GRASP THE NETTLE" - back of orange t-shirt, Kokubunji station, June 4, 2004, 22:40.

"G#O#D PRAYS TO GOD" - white t-shirt, Seibu line, June 5, 2004, 12:55.

"CAUTION SPACE TORNADO OGAWA" - back of black t-shirt, Family Mart, June 11, 2004, 08:10.

"NO OVER FLOW CUSTOMS GIRL" - woman's white t-shirt, Ageo Ito Yokado, June 13, 2004, 12:02.

"IF SPRING COMES MANY BUTTERFLIES WILL FLOCK IN MY GERDEN" -butt of woman's black t-shirt, Minami-Urawa station, June 20, 2004, 14:49.

"DON'T CONDEMN OUR JOBS" - lime-green t-shirt, Ekoda station, June 22, 2004, 19:12.

"HARRY HYS NO MUFF TO TUFF" - back of twenty-something woman's pink t-shirt, Ikebukuro station, June 22, 2004, 19:25.

"TEMPTATION DO YOU WANT TO BE A FINE MOOD?" - yes, please. Back of black t-shirt, Saitama Shintoshin, July 9, 2004, 12:30.

"MASTURBATE EMPHASIS BE-FASTIDUOUS" - front of baseball t-shirt worn by clearly oblivious mid-thirties guy, Akitsu, July 10, 2004, 13:00.

'"FEED THEM! THROW TRASH! YOU DESTROY DEER LIFE, DON'T YOU?" -back o red tshirt, Nishi Kokubunji station, July 11, 2004,11:40.

"they think we're satanic" - white t-shirt, near Tachikawa, July 25, 2004, 13:50.

"NINE OF YOUR NUMBER LUCKY!" - green t-shirt, Kita Yono, July 27, 2004, 12:35.

"DON'T HAVE A COW IF I'M GROOVY" - back of woman's t-shirt, Akitsu station, July 31, 2004, 14:15.

"the color has NEVER faded. the color has NEVER relation!" - back of white t-shirt, Shinjuku station, August 2, 2004, 14:45.

"SUN DOWNERS REAPERS" - in an exact reprodution of the L.A. Lakers' logo, on a 10-year-old's t-shirt, Saikyo line, August 6, 2004, 17:50.

"FRJ PINEAPPLE IS MY BUSINESS" - woman's navy t-shirt, Ueno station, August 7, 2004, 15:02.

"SPLASHES USUAL POP EVERYONE WANTS ITS REFRESHING" - back of woman's white tank top, Maruetsu, August 8, 2004, 16:50.

"HIGH WIDE AND HANDSOME" - woman's white t-shirt, Omiya station, August 10, 2004, 15:02.

"THE TIME IS RUNNING SO QUICKLY THEREFORE WE ARE WORRYING COMMUNICATION ABOUT LAKE OF" - back of white t-shirt, Urawa, August 12, 2004, 08:30.

"KEEP SURFING Beach Clean for your enjoy sufing HE IS NEW SURFER!" - white t-shirt, Seibu Shinjuku line, August 18, 2004, 12:32.

"HEY! SUCK MY BLOOD KNEE" - yellow t-shirt, Higashi Murayama station, August 28, 2004, 18:24.

"I LOVE GESTS" - white t-shirt, with the text superimposed on the afro of a silhouetted figure seen through a keyhole, Yono Honmachi post office, August 31, 2004, 13:40.

"CASH FOR SLANG" - back of green t-shirt, Ebisu Wendy's, September 11, 2004, 17:05.

"YES, FOR SUCCESSFUL LIVING" - black t-shirt, Omiya station, September 15, 2004, 17:01.

"COUNT THE NIGHT BY STARTS LIVE YOUR DREAM SMILE & HAPPY" - back of kids' t-shirt, Kita-Yono Book Depot, September 18, 2004, 17:00.

"THE NATURAL FLAVOR NEVER STOP SMOKING" - back of a white, long-sleeve t-shirt, done in imitation of The North Face logo, Cocoon shopping mall, September 20, 2004, 13:10.

"YOU GUYS ROCKS" - front of J-guy's pink t-shirt, Saitama Shintoshin, September 23, 2004, 17:15.

"HOLD ON LIKE GRIM DEATH" - in cheerful silver sparkly ink, on woman's black t-shirt, Shinjuku station, October 1, 2004, 15:45.

"WOMEN AND GUNS" - on J-guy's tshirt, accompanied with an illustration of a naked woman wrapped around a giant revolver, Shibuya station, October 1, 2004, 17:25.

"NO FUTURE DRINKING THE MORNING AWAY AFTERNOON WILL PROVE A MISTAKE" - well, if you drank the morning away, what do you expect? J-girl's t-shirt, Shibuya, October 1, 2004, 18:18.

"CONVERSATION LIE OF NONEXISTENT" - girl's white sweatshirt, Takanodai station, October 10, 2004, 12:15.

"CAN SHE WITH THE WyRLD?" - back of white sweatshirt, with a drawing of a green four-leaf clover beside it, Shinjuku station, October 16, 2004, 18:00.

"PLEASE LET ME KNOW, IF YOU CAN" - beige longsleeve tshirt, Omiya, October 21, 2004, 17:00.

"FANCY POCKET GIRLS" - back of girl's beige hoodie, Chuo line, October 24, 2004, 14:00.

"LEAD STORY PLANET We say "How do you do?" when we meet somebody. It's against nature." - black t-shirt, Kawagoe, November 7, 2004, 13:07.

"IMPRESSIONS IN MY MIND NOT TO BE MISSED" - mom's yellow t-shirt, Kawagoe, November 7, 2004, 13:40.

"LET'S FEEL THE NATURE POWERFUL ENGINE" - old man's grey baseball cap, Keihen-Tohoku line, November 13, 2004, 13:30.

"ADORABLE SISTERS GO WEST!" - on junior high school girl's black hoodie, Kawagoe Animate shop, November 14, 2004, 15:00.

"THAT'S LUCKY TO STILL BE WITH US" - back of a grey "gangsta"-style hoodie worn by J-mom, Urawa, September 19, 2004, 13:15.

"WE HOPE TO ALWAYS HAVE AN POEN MIND" - back of woman's t-shirt, Franz Ferdinand concert, Shibuya Ax, November 29, 2004, 18:30.

"THE RACOON DOG MUST BE EXHAUSTED! IT'S SO EASY TO TELL" - well, sure it is, with a *racoon dog*. Back of black t-shirt, Shinjuku station, December 4, 2004, 15:00.

"TOWN IN CANADA 99" - girl's black trucker hat, Shibuya, December 25, 2005, 14:05.

"GORDON & SMITH CONFIDENT THE WORLD" - and why wouldn't they? Back of teacher's navy hoodie, Yono Hachiman elementary school, January 17, 2005, 08:35.

"FREE JAH CURE" - J-hipster's white t-shirt in RUN DMC-style logo, Ueno, February 24, 2005, 16:15.

"strong will To tell the truth, he lied" - woman's tote, Kanda station, March 2, 2005, 15:33.

"WEST VIRGINIA 7 APPALACHIAN THIS MAP IS CORRECT" - back of kids' t-shirt, Chuo line, April 7, 2005, 16:40.

"SURF WITH GHOST" - ok! White t-shirt, Shibuya, June 7, 2005, 17:23.

"TAKE IT EASY WHO BREAK YOUR BACK? DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT" - back of turquoise t-shirt, Tachikawa station, July 3, 2005, 12:15.

[thelandofmrsparkle]

A Glossary Of Terms

1-kyu:

First level. As in the top level of the Japanese Language Profiency Test!

A man:

Ten thousand. Sounds cool, don't it?

Anime:

Cartoon.

Apato:

Apartment.

Apato Biru:

Apartment building.

Apropos:

Appropriate (French).

Arubaito:

Part-time job, esp. one for students.

Asa-gohan:

Breakfast (lit. "morning rice").

Base brat:

Someone whose parent(s) was (were) military personnel, therefore necessitating living on military bases and multiple traumatic cross-country moves during childhood.

Bento:

Japanese boxed lunch.

Bit:

Slang for stole, copied, and/or plagerized..

Blocking:

A stage term that means where actors are supposed to stand on-stage.

BOE:

JET abbreviation for Board Of Education.

Boshi:

A hat or baseball cap.

Bosozoku:

Young Japanese gang members who ride around on real noisy, super-modified motorcycles (lit. "speed tribes").

Bougie:

Slang term for "bourgeois"

Bunkasai:

School "culture festival;" a bizarre mix of talent show, open house and carnival.

Bureki:

Brakes.

Can't Be Arsed:

See "couldn't be arsed."

Carte blanche:

The freedom to do whatever you please (French).

-Chan:

Attached to someone's name to infer affection for that person as a friend. Also used to indicate that the person being refered to is a child.

Chelsea Smile:

Inserting a knife into the mouth of a person one is assaulting and cutting at either end of the mouth, so as to extend the victim's smile in a grotesque fashion.

Chikan:

Pevert or molester. See also hentai

Chimpira:

A low-level yakuza.

Chi chi fou fou:

Fancy.

Cho:

Very. See also totemo.

Chotto:

A little.

Chugakko:

Junior high school.

Chugakkusei:

Junior high school student.

Conbini:

Convenience store (Montréalers: depanneur), which are ubiquotous in Japan.

Couldn't Be Arsed:

English slang, meaning "couldn't be bothered." Also works as "can't be arsed."

Crust:

A style of punk rock known for its death metal-esque vocals and overall severity. Crust punks are well known for their aversion to personal hygeine and love of mescaline.

Dafuya:

A ticket scalper.

Daibutsu:

Buddah. Or, more commonly, a giant-ass statue of the Buddah.

Daigakko:

University.

Daikyuu:

A day off in lieu of having worked on a regular day off (e.g. do-yobi).

Dame, dame:

Forbidden, as in "don't do that!"

(da)Saitama:

A nickname for Saitama City used by the more cosmopolitan Tokyoites. Dasai means "uncool."

Deets:

Slang term for "details."

Denki:

Electricity; or, electronics store.

Depato:

Department store.

Deshita:

Was. Kind of.

Dinkus:

Dink (Latin).

DIY:

"Do It Yourself." A punk rock manifesto/slogan (North America) or the way to describe homeowner-done home renovations (Merry Olde England).

Dodgu baru:

Dodge ball (formerly known as murder ball).

Dojo:

A school or building devoted to martial arts.

Domo arigato gozaimashita:

"Thank you very much."

Dorama:

Katakanasized English for "drama," meaning "soap opera."

Dosh:

Money. Sorry, I've been renting to many "there's gangsters in London"-type movies lately!

Do-yobi:

Would be Saturday, wouldn't it now?

Echo Parque:

Echo Park. A neighbourhood in Los Angeles (Spanish).

Eigo:

English.

Eikawa:

English conversation school.

El Jefe:

The boss (Spanish).

Enkai:

The legendary "office party" of Japan, where you colleagues try to get you as drunk as possible. Notorious for being the social occassion where the reserved and meek Japanese people you work with go off and get nuts.

Ethiopia no ryoori:

Ethiopian food. Look, just put any country before no ryoori and you are talking about the food of that country. It's just that easy!

FA:

Fuck All

Fameru, the:

The other, more centrally-located but crappier, apartment building wherein almost all the other AET's working for the Saitama-shi are housed.

Flossing:

Wearing clothing or jewelry in a flashy, homologic manner.

Flush:

In the wacky world of poker, five cards of the same suit. A good hand.

Furikomi:

Transferring money from your bank account to someone else's.

Fushigi:

Weird, as in spooky or mysterious weird. Like an Astro-boy action figure spookily and mysteriously "floating" in a Denny's toy. Hello? Go back and read the sentence again!

Gaijin:

Foreigner. Non-Japanese.

Gaijin cado:

The "Alien Registration Card" that every foreigner living here is required to carry at all times.

Gaikokku:

Foreign country or countries. Any country or countries that is not Japan.

Gakusei:

Student. Or students. Depending.

Game senta:

Arcade ("game centre" - get it?).

Ganbaranai!:

"Don't try!" "Why bother?" "Do a half-assed job, if even that much." The opposite of ganbatte.

Ganbatte yo!:

"Fight!" "Try hard!" "Do your best!" J-folk never tire of uttering these words of encouragement at every opportunity.

Genkan:

That part of a J-house right after the front door where you take off your shoes. Considered part of "outside," so if you don't leave your door locked here, don't be surprised when delivery guys, Jehovah's Witnesses, the cops and the NHK guy just open your front door and stand in the genkan, calling for you!

Genki:

Healthy, happy, in good spirits, socialable, frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.

Genkikunai:

Unhealthy, unhappy, in poor spirits, unsocialable, not frisky. Pick one or a combination thereof.

Geri:

Either diarrhea or having sex with your girlfriend. Can't remember which one, but either way, geri is a top-notch excuse to give your supervisor when you want the day off. Though I'd recommend seiri-tsuu for the ladies.

Getsu-yobi:

Monday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?

Gi:

Martial arts uniform. Costume? Get-up? No, uniform!

Giving us the hi-hat:

1920's gangster slang for being snubbed or disrespected, see?

Glasgow Kiss:

A head butt.

Gobsmacked:

Flabbergasted; astounded; shocked (English slang).

Gomen nasai:

"I'm sorry."

Haafu:

Katakanized English for "half," which is how mixed-"race" offspring of one Japanese parent & one gaijin are actually refered to here!

Hanabi:

Fireworks.

Hanamizu:

Snot (lit. "nose water").

Hanko:

A stamp or personal seal, used in lieu of a signature on most legal documents, bank forms, etc.

Hansomu:

Jinglish for "handsome."

Harajuku:

A popular district of central Tokyo, known for attracting throngs of young people dressed to nines in all manner of garb. Particulary on Sundays!

Hawdkoah:

The New York City pronounciation of "hardcore", a style of punk music.

Hella:

San Francisco slang for "very" (lit. "hell of").

Hentai:

Pervert. See also chikan.

Hiragana:

One of the Japanese syllabic alphabets.

Hisashiburi ne!:

"Long time, no see!"

Ichi-nensei:

First-year students (Canadian translation: 7th grade).

Inaka:

The country. A rural area.

Isofuckingashii:

Bufuckingsy.

Itabashi-sensei:

My supervisor at the Saitama Board of Education.

Itai:

"That hurts!" lit."ouch!"

Italian run-through:

When an actor, in rehearsal, goes through their lines as quickly as possible. Used to assist with line memorization

Itari no ryoori:

Italian food.

Izakaya:

Japanese-style drinking/eating bars designed to accomodate larger groups of drunks.

Janken:

Rock, Paper, Scissors.

JET:

The Japan Exchange Teaching program - how I managed to fanagle my way into this country.

Jet Coaster:

Roller coaster.

Jido hanbaiki:

Vending machine.

Jiko shokai:

A self-introduction - a prepared speech used to introduce yourself to others.

Jitensha:

A bicycle.

Joie de vivre:

"Joy of life." (French)

Jozu:

Skilled, talented, impressive.

Jofuckingzu:

Skilfuckingled, talenfuckingted, imfuckingpressive.

JTE:

JET program jargon for a Japanese Teacher of English.

Judo:

A Japanese martial art involving the throwing of people. Derived from ju jitsu, another Japanese martial art.

Juku:

Lit. "cram school." Private tutoring-style schools most kids go to after regular school, to give them that edge on the all-important, life-determining exams they face at the end of junior and senior high school.

Ju-ni-nichi matsuri:

Some sort of weird festival in Urawa that appears to celebrate December 12th. Literally translates to "The Festival of the 12th."

Kafucho:

Hay fever. But really, pollen allergy, esp. cedar pollen allergy. Which is bad news given that 60% of Japan's forests were clearcut to make way for cedar plantations.

Kai-yobi:

Tuesday. You didn't read the week one entry very closely, did you?

Kame:

Turtle.

Kana:

The Japanese written language, composed of the hiragana, katakana and kanji alphabets.

Kanji:

The Japanese characters that are actually Chinese characters and usually have two or three totally unrelated pronunciations and meanings. Oh, and there are thousands upon thousands of them, too.

Kanpai:

Cheers/Skoal/Here's Mud In Yer Eye.

Kare rice:

As near as I can figure out the Japanese pronounciation for "curry rice," a popular Japanized curry dish.

Kasa:

Umbrella.

Katakana:

The Japanese syllabic alphabet reserved for non-Japanese words.

Katana:

Those cool samurai swords. Also, an iconic "rice rocket" made by Kawasaki.

Kawaii:

Cute.

Keitai:

A cellular telephone. Which you would have ascertained, had you continued reading the sentence.

Kendo:

A Japanese martial art involving wooden swords and the hitting of people with them.

Kenkyujo:

The proper pronounciation of the Japanese word for Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.(see also kinkyujo).

Kimpura:

Um, marinated shredded vegetables? Not entirely sure, but I eat it!

Kin Jeh:

Vegetarian. Though I cain't recall if it means "vegetarian food" or "vegetarian person." Ask Thi. She'll know. (Thai).

Kinkyujo:

Research centre. Specifically, the Saitama City BOE research centre.

Kin-yobi:

Come on. If moku-yobi was Thursday and this followed Thursday, what the hell day do you think it is?

Kissaten:

Café/coffee shop.

Koban:

Police box - a little, mini-office where at least one cop is always present. Thousands of thems all over Japanese neighbourhoods, which is sometimes credited as a reason for Japan's low crime rate.

Kocho-sensei:

Principal (lit. "head teacher").

Koguro:

aka "ko-gals." Lit. translating to "high school girls," this refers to a Japanese female youth subculture where teenage girls bleach their hair, tan themselves as dark as possible, wear a lot of white makeup and dress as cute as possible. Think Britany Spears as done by David Lynch and you are getting close to what it's like.

Kokkoi:

Cool.

Konnichiwa:

Hello/Good day.

Konshu:

This week.

Kowe:

Scary (refering to males).

Kowaii:

Scary.

Kuro:

Black.

Kyoto-sensei:

Vice-Principal.

Kyudo:

Japanese archery.

Kyuryobi:

Payday.

Lactards:

The lactose intolerant; usually those whose bodies do not produce the enzyme required to digest the protein lactose, found in milk and diary products.

La Comida Mexicana:

Mexican food (Spanish).

Live House:

A bar where bands play. The tweaked thing is that, unless the band is huuuge, they probably have to rent out the venue, PA & staff and produce the show themselves. Cost? 300,000 - 400,000 yen! Yipes!

Maddog:

To glare at someone in as threatening a manner as possible.

Maka:

The accepted abbreviation of Makadonorado.

Makadonorado:

McDonald's - an American fast-food restaurant chain, popular in Japan. See also Maka.

Mamachari:

A "shopping bike" - a rickety old-style bike with a basket on the front and sometimes the back. The kind you'd expect to see grandmas trucking around on. Which they do. Along with everyone else.

Man:

10,000.

Manga:

A Japanese comic book, which are read by children and adults alike and cover every possible topic and story, including golf, tennis and, of course, pornography.

Mansion:

Hilariously enough, what they call really big multimulti unit apartment buildings!

Matsuri:

Festival.

Megane:

Eyeglasses.

Meishi:

Business card (lit. "name card").

Melonpan:

A melon-flavoured bun. Also, a character on the popular children's television series Ampanman. Whose title character is a flying superhero with a sweet bean-paste-filled bun for a head.

Merde:

"Shit," in French.

Mi Vida Loca:

"My Crazy Life." In this case, a pretty good gang film. Not the Ricky Martin song (Spanish).

Moku-yobi:

Come now, you deduced that this was Thursday all by yourself, didn't you?

Moleto:

Wallet (Spanish). Possibly the only spanish word I remember from that summer class I took four years ago.

Mugly:

Weather so hot and humid ("muggy") that it is downright ugly ("ugly"). Just because I made a word up does not mean that it should not be in everyone's lexicon.

Muzukashii:

Difficult.

Nasi goreng:

Thee scrumptious, rice-based national dish of Indonesia.

Natsukashii:

Kind of when something caused you to reminisce in a happy, sentimental, "ah, the memories!" way.

Ne?:

"Isn't it so?/Don't you think?" Liberally inserted at the end of practically any sentence. Similar to the Canadian "Eh?" Or the Parisian "quoi?" Or the Québecois "la." Etc.

Neko:

Cat.

Nenkyu:

Paid vacation time. Which, in theory and according to your JET contract, you can book off with your supervisor without much problem. In theory.

Nihon-go:

Japanese language.

Nihon-go no sensei:

Japanese language teacher.

Nihon-jin:

A Japanese person.

Nihon ryoori:

Japanese food.

Niku nashi onegai dekimasu ka:

Could you pretty please make that without putting dead animal parts on it?

Ni-nensei:

Second-year students (Canadian translation: 8th grade.

Nissei:

Second-generation Japanese living somewhere other than Japan.

Nomihodai:

A special and popular deal at Japanese bars, where you and your friends may drink all you possibly can in a set period of time, for a set price.

Nova usagi-chan:

The annoying animated rabbit mascot of the largest chain of private English schools in Japan, whose theme song is permanently ingraved on my memory thanks to heavy airplay of their TV commericals. "Ippai kikite, ippai shaberuru NOVANOVA!".

Off-book:

A stage term meaning that an actor has memorized their part and can or will rehearse without having to look at the script.

Ohayo gozaimasu:

Good morning.

Ogenki desu ka?:

How are you? (honorific form).

Oishii:

Delicious.

Ojiisan:

Grandfather. But let's not start singing about his stupid fucking clock, ok?

OLs:

"Office Ladies." Women working low-level secretarial/receptionist/clerk positions in Japanese offices, until they get married and stop all this silly nonsense about having a career. Which means pretty much any woman working in an office in Japan, since, of course, only men should be promoted or hold positions of importance or responsibility.

Omiyage:

Little individually-wrapped snacks you bring back from a trip to anywhere for all your co-workers. A major Japanese tradition.

Onigirii:

Popular J-snack of a triangle of rice wrapped in seaweed, usually with a fishy or seaweedy centre.

Onsen:

Hot spring. J-folk loooove love love to visit the innumerable hot springs dotted around Japan on their vacations.

Onis:

Demons.

Otaku:

Nerds. But especially obsessive-compulsive collecting nerds.

Pachinko:

This wildly-popular but weird gambling game involving a sort of vertically-mounted pinball machine, hundreds of steel balls, prizes and a lot of noise and flashiness.

Pit justice:

A straight-edge slang term for physically attacking someone in the dance area of a punk rock concert.

Player:

One who maintains a high level of romantic popularity and multiple romantic relationships.

Poutine:

French I mean Freedom Fries smothered in a special gravy and then covered with melting cheese curds. Québec's national dish, right above chien chaud steamée.

Purikura:

Special arcades specializing in those cute photo sticker booths where you take pictures with your friends and then customize them like mad.

Quelle Surprise:

"What a surprise!" (French).

Queue:

A line of people. (British).

Queuing:

Lining up (British).

Restos:

A Montréal abbreviation for "restaurants" (probably French).

Reverse:

Puke (verb).

Roku-nensei:

6th graders.

Romanji:

What they call the Roman (read: English-language) alphabet o'er here.

Ryokan:

A traditional-style Japanese inn.

SaiSta:

Slang for former World Cup venue Saitama Stadium.

Saisho RU! Janken PON!:

What J-people say instead of "1,2, 3!" when playing Janken. (see Janken).

Saitama BOE:

The Saitama City Board of Education.

Saitama-ken:

The prefecture of Saitama. A prefecture is like a province or state. 47 of 'em in Japan!

Salary(wo)man:

Business(wo)man. But pretty much always men. Women who work in offices are OLs.

San-nensei:

Third-year students (Canadian translation: 9th grade.

Seiri-tsuu:

Menstrual cramps.

Sempai:

The more senior, and therefore, superior person in a given work/school situation.

Sensei:

The honorific term for teacher.

Senta Gyaru:

Katakaniz'd English for "Centre Girl," which refers to a mostly-female subculture of high school girls who hang around Shibuya's Centre Street dresses in animal costumes with their hair dyed as unnaturally fluorescent as possible, with fake jewels glued on their faces. See also koguro.

Senta Guy:

The male version of a senta gyaru.

Seppuku:

Japanese ritual suicide.

Servo:

Brain (French).

Shag:

Fuck (British slang).

Shanked:

To be stabbed with a homemade or improvised knife.

Shibuya:

A popular district in central Tokyo for shopping, food, or dates. I like to pronounce it "shi- BOO-YA!" but somehow I don't think that's very original of me. Satisfying, though!

Shinjuku:

A popular district in central Tokyo, known for its nightlife.

Shinkansen:

Tha bullet train! Pow! Zip!

Shippu:

Stinky ointment-laced gauze. Did you not read the sentence or something?

Shizzy:

Slang term for shiznit, which is, in itself, a slang term.

Shiznit:

The stuff, the deal, etc.

Shogakko:

Elementary school.

Shogakkusei:

Elementary school students. I mean, in only follows, right?

Shogunai:

"It can't be helped." The J-way of saying, "sorry, you're fucked!"

Shogunakatta:

Past tense of shogunai.

Shojin ryoori:

Lit. "temple food." Special Japanese vegetarian you'll find at Buddhist temples, emphasizing elements of Buddhism in food form.

Shoppingu:

Shopping.

Shoppu:

Shop. See, it's not so hard, hey?

Shouganai:

It can't be helped/there's nothing to be done about the situation.

SIKE!:

1980's slang for "I tricked you!", yelled at the tricked in a mocking tone.

Skint:

British slang for flat-ass broke.

Slowplayed:

To have played a strong hand weakly, by checking instead of betting or by calling instead of raising. Usually done to win extra bets by keeping more players around for future rounds of betting. Thank you U of A type Jonathan Schaeffer for the definition!

Somen:

A type of Japanese noodle, usually served in a tasty soup.

Souji:

Cleaning/cleaning time.

-Sugoi:

Great.

Sui-yobi:

Wednesday. You should be getting the hang of the yobis now, right?

Sumimasen:

Excuse me/pardon me/sorry 'bout that. One of the handiest and most oft-used expressions in The Japan. Learn it, live it, love it.

Sumo:

You know, those really big fat Japanese guys that wrestle each other? Like in that Weezer video!

Support:

What English people call the opening act.

Tabernac:

The short version of tabernacle, which is essentially the French equivalent of "fuck."

Tacoyaki:

A super-popular Japanese streetfood, consisting of chopped octopus cooked in little balls of batter, served with tons of mayo and dried fish flakes. Taco=octopus, which can be a bit of a surprise if you are trying to order la comida Mexicana.

Taiko:

Japanese drums/drumming.

Taikukan:

Gym.

Takyuubin:

Delivery/courier company.

Tarento:

"Talent" - minor celebrities and personalities that populate the game/talk shows that comprise 90% of Japanese television.

Tatami:

Rice-straw mats that serve as flooring in traditional Japanese rooms. Most houses have at least one tatami room and rooms in Japan are measured according to how many tatami mats they fit or would fit.

Terebi:

Television.

Terebi dorama

TV drama.

'The Bash:

Our nickname for Itabashi-sensei.

The filth:

English slang for police.

The Old Bill:

Slightly-more polite English slang for police.

The River:

The last card dealt in a hand of poker. What Mile End Poker Society members would term "fifth street."

Tomodachi:

Friend.

Tori:

Chicken.

Totemo:

Very. See also cho.

Toyu:

Kerosene.

Tweaker:

Amerian west coast slang for person addicted to methamphetamine, aka speed.

Udon:

A broad noodle.

Unko:

Shit.

Urusai:

Shut up (lit. "[too] noisy/loud!").

Usagi:

Rabbit.

Utage:

I honestly have no fucking idea what "utage" means. Can anyone help me out here? Good fucking alcohol, though. Real tasty, that there utagehol.

Vick:

Victimize.

Vignette:

A short scene (French).

Wa, The:

Harmony. Balance.

Wakarimasen:

"I don't understand." See also wakarinai.

Wakarimashita:

To understand, past tense, formal.

Wakarinai:

The less polite, informal version of "I don't understand." See also wakarimasen.

Wakaru:

The unconjugated form of "to understand."

Wakatta:

The shortened, informal, past tense form of "to understand."

White Day:

A special, Japanese-only holiday invented so that Japanese men could buy Japanese women white gifts and/or chocolate, partially to reciprocate them for having received gifts and/or chocolate on Valentine's Day. Which, in Japan, is when only men receive gifts from women, never vice versa.

WTF:

What The Fuck.

Yakisoba:

Fried noodles, usually with pork or beef and some other stuff.

Yakitori:

Grilled pieces of chicken on a skewer.

Yak:

See yakuza.

Yakuza:

Every country has their own version of the mafia. The Yakuza are Japan's.

Yamasigawa-sensei:

My supervisor's assistant at the Saitama Board of Education.

Yorushiko onegaishimasu:

Sort of a catch-all polite phrase to use when asking someone to do something for you.

Yubinkyoku:

Post office.

Yukatta:

Traditional Japanese summer garment, similiar to a kimono but made of lighter cotton instead of silk. Still just as difficult to put on, though. Or so I'm told.

Yuki:

Snow.

Yuki Matsuri:

Thee Hokkaido Snow Festival. One of the biggest and most famous festivals in Japan. Kind of like the Québec Winter Carnival, but with more snow sculptures and less Bon Homme.