#12thkidiary

[12thkidiary]

Hello, World!

Thunder clouds are thundering outside. I have a competition tomorrow for which I feel thoroughly unprepared. Today was the second day of 12th grade, and I am already a mess. 

WordPress welcomed me to the site with a ‘Hello World!’, so I’ll do the same.

Hello People Who Took The Time To Actually Read This! Your sacrifice is greatly appreciated. 

I suppose I should introduce myself first. I’m Nainika, very recently promoted to 12th, an aspiring author, and a victim of hearing every adult around me tell me to start a blog. It’s a good idea, I will admit. I can improve my writing, bring a bit of discipline to my life, and have a snazzy page for my portfolio. But the thing no one really tells you is how hard figuring out your blog is. This idea was a shower thought (as the best ideas really are), and I’m going to be honest with you, dear reader, I have no idea if it will work. 

In theory, this will be a digital, very public, diary of my 12th grade. Sometimes I’ll talk about a topic that greatly interested me in school, maybe I’ll vent (I do that a lot). Maybe I’ll go into a deep rabbit hole of questioning my own existence, or I’ll write a 3-page essay on why Remus Lupin is the best comfort character goddamit. In short, stuff that I should probably write in one of my 100s of empty journals and keep it locked, but I’ve always been an oversharer. Now I can benefit from it. 

I’m a student of humanities if that wasn’t obvious till now. My subjects, if you’re interested to know, are Political Science, Sociology, English, Economics, and Maths. Please don’t ask me about the last subject, I don’t know why I took it. I’m suffering greatly. 

So, about this competition I have tomorrow. It’s an MUN. I’m in the UNW, and my country is Switzerland. I’m not going to tell you what all I researched, do that on your own if you’re interested, but my God is researching tough. In my defense, I registered on the 21st, and the conference is tomorrow i.e. the 25th of March, so I didn’t have a lot of time. But that’s making excuses, and we’re trying to reduce that this year. 

I’ve only ever been to one MUN before this, and it was a major flop. It was overcrowded, I was a bundle of nerves, and the only people I knew were from my own school, by whom I’m greatly intimidated. You’ll figure out, dear reader, that I’m intimidated by almost everyone. It’s very easy to intimidate me. Put overcoming that in my list of goals to achieve by the end of the year, will you?

Anyways, this MUN is online, so thank God for small mercies. I have done my research, though it’s all over the place in a google doc right now, and I’ve made a few friends, though the only communication we’ve had is a ‘hi’ or a ‘have you done this before?’ Another small mercy is that this isn’t a competition, in the sense that there won’t be a ‘best delegate’, stuff like that, and yet another small mercy is that I’m not registered through my school. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love this school. I’ve been loyal to it since the 3rd grade, and I’m going to graduate from here too. But this just adds to expectations I still haven’t learned how to handle, and I’d like to attend at least one MUN where I can just explore, learn, and have fun. 

That’s another thing I struggle with- expectations. You’re just uncovering all of my insecurities, aren’t you?

Google says a good blog post should have about a 1500-2100 word length, but I’m sitting on my sofa with a word count of about 700 words, and that’s quite enough for me, thank you. 

With that, I’ll take your leave. I hope you’ll stick around with me while I survive this last year of schooling, and maybe find some comfort in knowing you’re not the only one struggling with basic life problems. 

XO

Naini

(I lied, that wasn’t 700 words. But now it is.)

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