#15 ish minutes of me dad telling me how cruel i am dudes not even trying to call that government building | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilgynt · 1 year

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i told my mom i’m drugging myself everyday told my brother i’m gonna resent him and my other brother for life who else gonna get an awful truth from me today cmon

#personal #minimum 3 weeks for this situation to start getting fixed #as you can imagine i’m not coping well #at all #my dad actually just had a bit where he’s like let me call government building #you are a jailer and unfair for not letting me call somewhere i’ve already fucked us DEEPLY #15 ish minutes of me dad telling me how cruel i am dudes not even trying to call that government building #kept saying it but meant the couple who took him there #and again i know worse for him but also i resent him for not dying like i’m very glad he’s alive i think but part of me will resent him for #this and everytime he calls my mom and i the key to his illness i want to bash his head in #i’m not a key moms not a key we’re people were alive youve spurned our attentions and affections before this #granted we have too but we’re not demanding it now are we #but you’re gonna be so fucking cruel to us and only talk to us when YOU need something and now we’re the keys to your illness and can’t have #a moment away from you? fuck you #he’s not the man he was last year let alone during his prime #i never met him but i hate him #i always wondered what he would have thought of me with his full capabilities but now i know to an extent i hate him #he got us all himself included stuck in this event. anyway new brand of daddy issues through this event #anyway told my mom and brother i don’t even know #all anyone CAN give me is thanks and apologies and praise but i don’t want praise #i don’t want to be strong i don’t want to be kind i don’t want to be good and i don’t want to endure #my life has been nothing but a test in endurance and i don’t want it #sure if there a rock crushing me id rather hear that help is coming over any thing #but i’m still getting crushed and these words do nearly nothing for me #i didn’t say that part but did explain the feeling #i don’t know where i’m going with this. like between the copious amounts of weed aggressive sobbing and being need 24/7 #i’ve been spacing out bad randomly i mean bad when on purpose too but still just wake up in my body at some point #speaking of just waking up i’m legitimately not even going to sleep anymore get to my room than wake up an hour or two before it’s my shift #with dad #my mom when she finds out i’m not taking two edibles but two bags at a time and also kill myself: :0

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