#17-year-old Damian isn't as much of a pain in the ass

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The 12th of my emergency fics. DamiColin ANGST! Tumblr version is [here].

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I really, really, really want to die rn. I'm going to binge read your stories because they're seemingly all I live for at the moment. If you could ease write like.. a small Drabble or whatever size length you want of DamiColin angst centered on our fav orphan, that would really help. Thank you.

Apologies that it has taken me so long to get this one done (due to the first attempt having been eaten by tumblr). I hope you’re feeling better since you wrote this, and I hope you’re getting the help and support you need. I hope you enjoy the final result.

Also, just in case there’s any confusion, I included a little Arabic on Damian’s part (habibi– ‘my love’ or ‘beloved’– and ouhibbouka– I love you). I tried my best to make sure it was accurate.

(So if any of my lovely followers speak Arabic and I got it wrong, please let me know.)

Sometimes It’s The Little Things (Ao3 version)

Colindidn’t like thinking about family. Or, more accurately, he didn’t like thinkingabout his lack of one. It wasn’t something he wanted to focus on. It wasn’tsomething he wanted to think about. Thinking about it only ever made him upset,and while Colin wasn’t as bad as some, he couldn’t erase his anger issues— andwhenever he was upset it was reallyhard to keep his temper in check. So he tried not to think about it and put itout of his mind. It wasn’t always effective. Like now.

Heand Damian were in one of the League’s various bases (more like a safehousethan anything) alone. Colin was sitting on a couch in what could have beentermed either a living room area or a lounge, brooding; honestly it didn’tmatter what the space was called. What mattered was the fact that he wasbrooding and had been brooding for a long time. Damian had been standingnearby, waiting, but Colin didn’t feel inclined to break the silence first.

Finally,Damian chose to speak up and casually asked, “What’s bothering you Wilkes?” Of course he could tell that Colin wasstewing over something. After having known each other for a little over sixyears it only made sense that he knewwhen Colin was close to blowing up.

“Nothing.”

“Weboth know that’s a lie.”

Colinscowled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Damianarched an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. After a moment or two he said, “Weboth know I’m not good with talking about ‘feelings,’ but even I know thattrying to ignore it when you’re this frustrated isn’t a good thing.”

“Youcan’t fix it Damian,” Colin snapped.

Silencestretched for a few long moments before Damian said, “You don’t have to stayhere on-base, or even go back to the orphanage. You’re more than welcome tostay at the manor.” This was hardly the first time Damian had said something ofthe sort while clearly implying that Colin should move in rather than justvisit.

Itwas no secret that at times Colin hatedhaving to stay at the orphanage, but at the same time he wasn’t happy that hewould age out of it soon. It was all he had known, and while it wasn’t accurateto say he had nowhere to go (Damian would hardly tolerate Colin ending up onthe street), it was everything he’d had and— in a year— would lose.

“That’sjust it, Damian. Moving in wouldn’t help anything. Sure, your family is greatand all, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not mine. And don’t try tosuggest that they would adopt me because I refuseto consider becoming my boyfriend’s brother.”He was agitated, but trying to keep it in check. Even so, he could feel thedistant itching sensation in his spine that usually signaled the beginning ofhis physical shift to Abuse. He forcefully clamped it down.

“Theydon’t dislike you. And you’ve said you like the manor when you’re there anyway.”Apparently he felt like being persistent.

Theitch in Colin’s spine spread to a vague ache in the bones of his arms andhands. “That’s not the point!” he burst out before lunging to his feet to paceback-and-forth. “You want to know what’s bothering me? Fine. The problem isthat moving in won’t change anything.”

Damianwatched silently as Colin paced, his rant becoming more heated the longer hespoke.

“Movingin won’t change the fact that I’venever had a family who gave a shit about me, or at least not for long anyway!Moving in won’t change the fact that I never had a home, that no one wanted toput up with my anger issues, that I was considered ‘too much of a problem’ toeven be fostered. It won’t change thefact that I was considered so much of a ‘problem’ that almost no one cared to go looking for me when I went missing and was getting experimented onin that damned warehouse! If I had died I would have just been one more namelesslittle body mentioned on the news with no one to even see or mourn the factthat I wasn’t there anymore… if my bodyhad even been found. No one wonderingwhere I went, what happened, and no one to even miss me enough to have a hardtime changing anything in a room that had been mine.” He came to a stop in his pacing, his hands flexing as amuscle in his jaw worked. It was getting hard to hold the shift back, but hewas determined not to lose that much control.

Damianalmost reached out to him, but pulled back. Something else that had come fromknowing Colin for so long was the awareness that sometimes it wasn’t wise totry to touch Colin when he was upset, unless he indicated otherwise.

WhenColin started speaking again, it was in a far more subdued tone as he droppedback into his seat on the couch. “It can’t take away the fact that I never had anyone to come home to, tocare about, or to even have care about me.I never had siblings, or parents, oreven grandparents. No one cared, noone wanted to care, all because I wasthe pain-in-the-ass orphan with anger issues. It didn’t matter how good I was,how hard I tried. I was too much to handle. And because of that, if I died, noone would have cared. I would have just been one more damned statistic.”

Damianfrowned and moved to sit on the arm of the couch. When Colin didn’t tell him toback off, he placed a hand on Colin’s shoulder. “Habibi… You have a place.You always have a place, even if wedon’t last.” It was rare for Damian to be gentle, rare to show that side. Ithad taken years for Damian to let those walls down even around Colin, and Colinwas the one emotionally closest to him.

Colincould feel his eyes trying to well up and pressed the heels of his palms to hiseyes while forcing himself to breathe slowly. He didn’t want to cry, cryingwould have been too much and would have been too overwhelming in that moment,but he couldn’t help the faint tremble that escaped anyway. When he trustedhimself to speak without his voice cracking, he weakly laughed out, “You’resuch a goddamn sap. A sap who puts up this giant front of being a fuckingasshole except for moments like this when I need you like the pain-in-the-assthat I am.” His throat felt thick with unshed tears.

A thoughtfulhum emanated from Damian before he gently tugged Colin closer and soothinglycombed the fingers of his right hand through Colin’s hair. “Only around you, habibi. Ouhibbouka. This you know.”

Colin held it together for a moment longer before heturned and buried his face in Damian’s chest and wrapped his arms around him.Even through the tears he struggled to keep in check, he said, “Next time I seethem I’m telling your family you’re a giant fucking sap.”

“Better that than telling them you’re breaking up withme.”

“Shut up.” Despite the teasing, Colin felt a littlebetter. Nothing could erase the gap in Colin’s life of what he hadn’t had, butat least on days like this Damian knew how to make it bearable.