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#20 tips for non lesbian allies
butch-bakugo · 5 years
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20 tips for non-lesbians to help lesbians
From a lesbian!
Dont speak over us on lesbian issues. We know what is lesbophobic better than you do.
Dont call out a lesbian if they are being lesbophobic.( i suggest you @ a lesbian mutual and have them back you up if they pull the " your not a lesbian" card)
Dont say dyke uncencored under any circumstances(unless you're a bi wlw) and do not assume we are ok with being called q*eer. Really dont assume anyone is ok with being called q*eer but for us lesbians its much more common to despise it.
You can not call yourself butch/femme(bi wlw can call themselves that), especially if you only think it means masculine/feminine.
Defend lesbians who are being harassed for solely lesbophobic reasons.
Defend trans lesbians and nb lesbians who are being harassed solely for translesbophobic reasons.
Learn lesbian history from actual lesbians.
Never interact positivitly with terfs. Terfs are inherently lesbophobic.
Spread only positivity about the lesbian community as a whole. You are free to critize individual lesbians but do not make assumptions about the entire community.
Do not spread lesbophobic sterotypes, e.i being predatory, scary, agressive, being terfs, being exclusionists, etc.
Call out other non-lesbians and your own lesbophobia, especially if a lesbian calls you out on it first. Apologize and do not do it again.
Do not consume lesbian porn. Ever.
Ask questions to lesbians if you want to know more about us, our lives, our history or the experience of being a lesbian.( we dont have to answer you but most of us are happy to answer any questions you have)
Support all types of lesbians.
Do not engage in the "useless lesbian " joke and call out other non-lesbians who do.
Do not interact with lesbophobes other than to criticize lesbophobes. Especially when a lesbian tells you they are lesbophobic.( i.e gaud/i am fish)
Support lesbian artists and writers.
Push for more explicitly lesbian representation in media( we are GROSSLY unreped)
Warn lesbians about lesbophobic users, celebrities and creators.( i.e fuck you vaspider)
Do not spread butch sterotypes or femme sterotypes.
This is a some-what detailed, some-what not list of 20 things most of us lesbians want from lesbian allies and people in general. Please respect them because breaking them will most likely result in you being lesbophobic.
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nerdygaymormon · 5 years
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Resources
When I write a note to a parent or in response to some of the asks I’ve received, I will sometimes share a few links of resources or info. I’m sharing these for anyone to access or to share. These are not organized in any sort of order, but I’ll give a brief description of each one. 
1)  The Ten Tips for Parents on mormonandgay are good. And since it’s from a church-sponsored site, members will accept this without much criticism.
2)  Listen Learn & Love is a website by Richard Ostler. He's a former bishop who has made loving LGBT Mormons his ministry. The site has links to many useful resources. In his podcast, Richard speaks to many queer people (some who are still in the LDS church and some who have moved on) and lets them tell their story. I think the podcast is very useful for queer members to hear people who went through, or are currently going through, things that they do. And for non-queer people, I think they’ll be moved by hearing the experiences & thoughts of queer people in their own words.
3)  I think the Family Acceptance Project’s pamphlet for LDS families is excellent. Basically it says to accept & love your kid.
4)  PFLAG has resources for families of LGBT individuals. They focus on supporting those in need, education & advocating to create a better world for LGBTQ+ people, friends, family & neighbors (and I’ve been really impressed with their Provo, UT office). PFLAG has chapters in many nations. 
5)  This is a TedTalk that speaks to reasons why Nature creates homosexuals and includes some of the character traits of gay people compared to the general population.
6)  When I come across church members who think that homosexuality is a choice, I refer them to this document put together by Dr. Bill Bradshaw. He is a BYU researcher/professor and a former mission president. He summarizes the research showing the LGBTQ orientations are biologic, not a choice or caused by parenting or cultural influences.
7)  This is long, but is the best write up I’ve seen about the LDS church’s history on homosexuality while explaining what this is like for gay Mormons. Bryce Cook put this together and it was peer-reviewed and published. It does a good job in showing that change has happened, and we can expect more change to come.
8)    Taylor Petrey is a professor who in this presentation gives me many things to think about regarding gays & lesbians and Mormonism. He speaks about a post-heterosexual Mormon theology and points out how heterosexuality is not present in many LDS creation stories. He speaks like an academic, but is so thought provoking
9)  This is a simple to follow explanation of why temple sealings for gay couples makes sense. Useful for when members say that temple sealings for gay couples can NEVER be.
10)  Josh & Lolly Weed are the most famous example of a gay man & straight woman in a marriage. They have been very open about their experiences. This is the blog post where they announced their divorce. It is very illuminating and does a great job of explaining why this sort of marriage really doesn’t work for most gay people.
11)  This is dense, but it’s a listing of all sorts of queer people and relationships in Church history (we’ve been a part of the Church since the beginning). I think it’s fascinating to read about these people, the way they were treated and influence they had.
12)  This is a video about coming out, but from a very different point of view. It’s about coming out as straight, but I found it to be sweet and relatable.
13)  This is a humorous video about coming out as gay by Wanda Sykes
14)  Family Fellowship Support Group on Facebook is meant to help  Mormon moms & dads learn how to parent their gay child. It’s a closed group so only members of the group can see what’s posted.
15)  Transactive LDS is a private group for transgender individuals or family members.
16)  Carol Lynn Pearson is a Mormon who was married to a gay man. She’s the OG of LDS allies to the queer community. You may be familiar with some of their work like My Turn On Earth. She has written several books that are, in one way or another, about being gay in the church (Goodbye, I Love You; No More Goodbyes; and The Hero's Journey of Gay and Lesbian Mormons). Most famously she wrote the Primary song “I’ll Walk with You” and she was imagining singing this to gay children as she wrote it.
17)  Tom Christofferson, brother of the apostle D Todd Christofferson, is a gay man who came back to church and wrote a book titled That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon's Perspective on Faith and Family. He emphasizes the inclusion he received from his family, and from his ward when he wanted to come back. Here's an article summarizing parts of his story
18)  Affirmation is the oldest organization for LDS/post-LDS LGBTQ+ individuals, family and allies. They have multiple Facebook pages for people in different spots of their faith journey/in what way you’re queer/if you’re an ally or parent of a queer child. 
19)   Dragon Dads is a closed Facebook group for Dads to gain support, process & support their children who are LGBTQ+ in healthy ways
20)   Mama Dragons is for moms of LGBTQIA kids, the purpose is to support healthy lives
21)   The Human Rights Campaign has an online booklet for LGBT Mormons
22)   Gay Mormon History is a site that lets people explore the history of LGBT issues in the LDS Church
23)   Elder Ballard said “We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord.” (BYU Question and Answer devotional from November 2017)
24)   In the best BYU devotional ever given on the subject, BYU professor Eric Huntsmans “Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces”
25)  Many LGBT members find themselves at the church schools. USGA & USGA-Rexburg are organizations where they can meet other queer people. 
26)  Members of the LGBTQ community experience are at higher risk of committing suicide than the general public. The Trevor Project helps people ages 13-24. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is available to anyone in the US. The Trans Lifeline is available in the US & Canada and it works to end transgender suicide and improve overall mental health of transgender people.
27)  Our Asexual & Aromantic church members have a closed Facebook group for them & their allies. 
28)  Many LGBT people step away from the LDS church. The Thoughtful Transitions Support Group on Facebook is meant to a safe space for people to heal and grow
29)  If you or a loved one needs therapy, there’s several options. If they are a university student in the US, they likely can access services free-of-charge at their school. Another option is to check your insurance and find the mental health professionals in your area that are covered. Try contacting the psychology dept at a local university for leads on a good therapist, or perhaps they offer some counseling services to non-students. Some members of the LDS church feel more comfortable going to see a therapist who is also LDS or who is familiar with the church. The Mormon Mental Health Association has a listing of such therapists arranged by US state & Calgary, Canada. 
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serenagaywaterford · 5 years
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Hello, I really don’t know who to talk to but I’m realizing I’m a lesbian after identifying as bisexual since 2016, I came out to my parents and they’re both supportive and happy for me. I’m a highschooler and it’s awkward being gay and no one knowing as ppl tease me to date my guy friends. Any tips or advice in general on being a lesbian? It’s still so weird to talk about but I wanna grow to be very open with my sexuality
Been there. (I used to insist I was straight (for YEAAAAARS I was with the same guy), then bisexual cos I thought I had to be since I was “straight” and not particularly conflicted about it for so long. So it’s a process and a journey getting here no matter what, and everyone takes different routes.) And I’ll be honest, you’re way ahead of the game already. Good for you and you should be proud and happy with yourself for being so self-aware and in touch with yourself. That takes a lot of insight and courage.
I think generally… people will say a lot of things but until you are comfortable being around your friends and family as yourself, it’s never going to be easy. It’s not easy when you’re out either but at least you’re not stuck hiding who you are and adding that level of tension to every interaction. To be honest, I was never particularly comfortable with myself. Not even when I got married to another woman. (My issues with the institution of marriage aside…) But in my job I basically am forced to come out daily to complete strangers, constantly, with the words “my wife”. It gets way, way easier and I’m lucky enough to be in a place and a position that affords me that freedom. Not everyone is.
Are the people teasing you your friends? I mean, high school fucking sucks. I don’t even care how people want to romanticise it after the fact, or in media, or whatever. Even the best experiences are littered with a bunch of drama. We’re all idiots in high school and we all treat our friends like shit half the time, even our best friends. I didn’t have a bad time in high school. In fact, I’d say it was pretty good overall. (I wouldn’t do it again, mind you.) But still, the shit you put up with from friends is just excessive, and also the shit you give friends–or at least the shit I gave my friends lol. It’s just so… ugh.
So, I mean, without knowing much more about the situation, I would confide in my good friends. Unless, for some reason that endangers you in some way. And yes, unlike some hardcore people, I do think social ostracization in high school is damaging. I don’t buy into the whole “Well, if they don’t like it fuck them, all you need is you!” cos that’s bullshit. You DO need friends in high school, even if they’re not perfect friends, even if you won’t stay friends with them in a few years. Having social support is incredibly important and to be alienated completely is lonely and leaves you vulnerable, and you miss out on stuff too. I mean, if your friends are complete total assholes, then by all means, drop them cos that won’t help and you may be better off alone, but if they’re only sort of annoying, well… That’s life, lol. Until you get out of the fishbowl of high school and people being to calm the fuck down about every tiny drama, there aren’t a lot of options. I found my best friends annoying af sometimes, and some of them had views on certain subjects that fucking pissed me off. But hey, at the end of the day, we still got along and had a bond, and worst came to worst almost all of them would be there for me, and me for them, despite some differences.
Are those the type of friends you have? Or do you think your friends would turn on you if you confided in them?
It’s so lonely to hold onto a secret like that, and constantly put up with what I’m sure they think is harmless teasing about boys. It can hurt you, and god, it’s fucking irritating on top of everything else. And, I hate to say this, but that sort of thing NEVER ENDS. It gets less and less, but I’m literally married to a woman for like 2 years now and a dude friend of ours just last week asked us if maybe we both just hadn’t found the right men yet. And on the subject of sex, he said, “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” to my wife. Interestingly, she is not a gold star and knows very well what hetsex is like (she fucking HATES it on every imaginable level), but she’s just never volunteered that information for public consumption. Still, as you can see, you’ll always have stupid imbecile friends who say stupid ass comphet shit to your face, even when you are blatantly a lesbian. Unfortunately, it one of those things you just have to… learn to deal with. I hate that we must.
I know that’s not exactly helpful or hopeful, but it’s reality. So these dumb friends of yours, maybe they’re not doing it to be hurtful or annoying, they just genuinely think you like boys. There’s only really one solution to get them to stop (and even that isn’t going to be a guarantee) and that’s to come out to them–only if you can. Tell them how it makes you feel. Share with them what you’ve said to me. It’s hard enough to exist as a lesbian right now, let alone having to hide and be shamed for it. Friends should get that. But all of them may not… 
I had one friend who was super open with her “sexuality” (she’s an attention whore, lbr.) who, when I told her finally that I think I wanted a girlfriend, she was super supportive. Then when the group of them were going to a gay club, I said I’ll tag along and she told me no. And her exact words: “You look too straight. Nobody will talk to you and I don’t want people to think I’m straight too.” (SHE IS STRAIGHT, just for the record. But she likes to steal girls’ boyfriends by doing threesomes, pretending to be into girls, threesomes, and poly, and then manipulating the boys into dumping their gfs. She also likes to breakup girlfriends just to prove she can. She has NEVER been in a relationship with a woman, only breaks lesbian couples up and then fucks off. She tried it with me and my girlfriend once. Nice friend. Just so we all know what she’s like.)
Note: These were my high school friends, and I was in my mid-20s at this point. We’d been friends for over a decade. And they still said shit like that. (And I mean, in some way, I get it cos when we’d go out to non-gay spots I’d get picked up by men CONSTANTLY, and women never looked at me that way. It was super aggravating.)
Which, it turns out, was her way of saying “You’re competition and I don’t want you around.” (and she’s obsessed with stereotypes), cos when I started going to gay clubs and parties with other friends who weren’t douchebags about it, NOBODY judged me like that. And I remember meeting my wife for the first time and telling her that story and she was just like “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! You do look super straight but I like you and I’m super gay”. And then she took me to a lesbian bar, and I didn’t change a thing about myself, and was picked up by all sorts of girls, and really hit it off with the cutest butch girl I’ve ever seen to this day. (It didn’t end up going anywhere but still, it was nice to learn that sometimes your friends are just insecure assholes.) It really is dependent on who they are, where you live, etc. etc. And those are only things you know. I can’t comment on what the best course of action is without knowing the nitty gritty.
SO, that’s a long way of saying, people suck. Even your friends sometimes. It’s going to be difficult for a while as you weed those sorts of people out of your life. Being an open lesbian is rocky, especially at first when everything is sorta all over the place. But it does settle down, and you make better friends. And since your parents are supportive that is a HUGE hurdle you don’t have to deal with, which is absolutely AMAZING :) It’s so nice to hear.
But if you’re not able to come out and get support IRL, that’s fine too. My advice is what you’ve already done :) Come online and reach out to older lesbians. They’re the ones with the experience. If it wasn’t for the older lesbians in my life (either online or IRL that I met, including my wife), I’d be so much more insecure. I would probably still be walking around feeling a lot of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, shyness, confusion, etc. 
But there’s something comforting about talking with women who have lived the same struggles, and hear about all the paths they all took and the ways they’ve dealt with specific issues. And they’re generally more calm, more realistic, and more compassionate than other baby dykes who aren’t in a privileged, secure position yet. Not that there is anything wrong with bonding with others of the same age. That is also INCREDIBLY important because those experiences will directly reflect your own, and there’s built-in support with peers. The things older lesbians have been through may not translate as well for you. A lot of us didn’t have the same pressures of social media, etc. But we also didn’t have the same online resources available either. So, it’s an interesting balance. I will say my friendship with my best friends from university (one is a lesbian too, one is straight as an arrow but a huge ally) are just as important cos age is a factor.
You can get insight from older women, but you need peer bonds too.
Online I think is very important nowadays, especially when you’re not able to go to spaces like gay clubs and bars yet. And surround yourself with positive lesbian representation. If that whole soft cottagecore thing does it for you, keep that in your orbit. But also never be ashamed or fearful of the sexual part of your sexuality. Just like it’s natural to romantically love women, it’s natural for lesbians to physically love them too. 
I feel like as toxic overall as tumblr is, there are corners of it that have been incredibly supportive and nurturing even to me. Especially lesbian positivity blogs and women’s arts, etc. Poetry written by lesbians is beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s a whole genre I had no idea existed, and that has given me a great deal of peace because I can finally relate to words. Music, written and performed by gay and bisexual women is the same. It may seem trivial or cheesy, but it’s powerful to hear about women like you in songs. I have to say Mary Lambert, for one example, helped so much. I remember listening to Alix Olson in secret too when I was much younger (maybe that should have been something of a hint to myself, lol.) King Princess and Girl In Red are current faves, Saara Aalto, Shura and Brandi Carlile are a constant faves I always love (not that I even knew that about Brandi’s sexuality til recently cos I apparently live under a fucking rock lol), but I have whole lists now and it’s wonderful to have taht access. 
When you’re all alone, seeking out lesbian musicians and writers can make so much difference in easing that isolation, and confusion, and fear. They speak to you and about us, as a whole. It’s affirming and less lonely.
Same goes for well-written fanfiction. Things that avoid the drama of fandom (cos there’s so much drama even when you have canon f/f pairings), because fandom is really just microcosms of society at large with all the same morons in it. But fanfic was such an escape where I could learn and explore all the things that most everywhere wouldn’t show me. TV shows touched on it (especially back 10 years ago there was like nothing), but fanfic made it real.
Even when you’re feeling secure, I think it still helps to have all the representation we can, and just… you know, revel in it.
Do not watch porn. Don’t. It’s awful and horrible and not at all realistic. A well-written fanfic by actual gay or bi women is way more helpful. Avoid porn at all costs. It will never teach you anything your body doesn’t already know about how to be with a woman (although I’m sure for you this isn’t a pressing concern at the moment). I just know that I made the mistake of it, and also stupid ass magazine/how to articles. Ignore ALL that junk. When you get a girlfriend there’s only ONE thing you need to know how to do, and that is communicate honestly. Everything else falls easily into place.
When you say it’s so weird to talk about it, I feel that. It took me YEARS to even really be able to comfortably say the word, especially in relation to myself. That feeling will pass. It’ll take time and don’t push yourself into any sort of thing you’re not ready for. You’ll feel weird about it probably, and that’s on society, not you. “Lesbian” still does have a stigma attached to it that a lot of people are afraid of or dismissive of. Just… try your best to tune that out. That’s all you can do. You’ll feel comfortable eventually. :) Give it time. You’re already doing well. The fact you can say it to me, even as anon, is beautiful.
You’ll be very open one day if that’s what you want and being a lesbian, and being seen as one, will be second nature. I mean if I think about myself at 20 and now, there’s a very big difference. I used to shy away from so many things, and dress particular ways to avoid things, now I’m definitely not giving nearly as many fucks. Also, I’ll say here that I own a bar. It’s not a gay bar, but almost every day we’re open, at least one lesbian couple will come in. And honestly my heart grows so big and warm every single time. (Gay men come in too, ofc.) But there’s something particularly ecstatic in me that I get to see that everyday. (I don’t actually have many gay friends at all.) I love the openness and acceptance and comfort. And I love telling people there that I own it with my wife, and see people’s faces light up. (Some don’t… but, meh, that’s real life too. I’ve had a few shitty fucking people come in too.) There are a lot more lesbians and bi girls around than we probably know. :)
You are not alone. Even if it’s only talking to people online, you’re never alone. 
And never get discouraged that other people seem to having an easier or better time at it. Everyone moves differently, and for some it is easier, some it’s way more difficult but that doesn’t mean you need to pressure yourself, or change. I took my way exceptionally slowly and awkwardly, but ya get there eventually if you surround yourself with genuine people.
It sounds cliche but it does get easier talking about yourself as a lesbian as long as you surround yourself with positive lesbian content/people, and it takes practice (sometimes a lot of it as I’ve learnt), especially dealing with internalized stuff. But you’ll get there. You’re still super young and you have so much ahead. :D
I don’t have specific personal advice about how to handle it all in high school cos I didn’t have to deal with that. Just that there’s a whole world outside high school, even though it may not feel that way sometimes. If you’re in a small town or in a country where it’s not accepted, you’ll have a harder time finding love but it is ALWAYS possible, somehow. Never feel like there is nobody at all. There is. There’s some cute, hot, smart, interesting girl somewhere that will be into you as much as you’re into her. It’s just a matter of time til you find each other. If nothing else, in the mean time, you can form friendships and bond with people online in various ways.
I wish somebody had told me in my teen years that it’s possible to be in love with a woman, that I’m going to kiss girls one day and suddenly everything else is going to make sense and feel right after so long of things not quite fitting together, that it’s just as possible to be fulfilled with a woman as it is with a man. I wish someone would have told me I’d be loved by a woman in ways that nothing else would ever match. That I’d touch women and feel at peace with myself, and being intimate with them will change my whole life, and it’s something I was meant to do and feel. That loving women will help me love myself in a way that I never realised, and that just goes back and forth forever cos if you love yourself, loving other people is so much easier. And not to fight that cos I’m too scared to face the not so nice parts about being out. Bad shit is gonna happen no matter what, but better stuff will make up for it. I wish someone had told me that “lesbian” isn’t a bad word (I grew up with a lot of homophobia everywhere, including my family), and that I will cringe when people call me that initially but that should force myself to use it at first, cos it’ll get way better and feel right the sooner that happens. It is what I am, and I can’t avoid it forever. Own it. Cos as soon as you do, the sooner they can’t use it against you the same way anymore. But nobody said any of that to me.
And never, ever let anybody ever guilt, shame, manipulate, or pressure you into anything you don’t feel is right for you or your body. You’ll feel it deep down what you want and need, and what you don’t want and don’t need. Don’t ignore that. Don’t let anybody talk, guilt, scare, or shame you out of that. It may be hard but you already seem very strong and self-aware.
You’re not thinking wrong, you’re not made wrong. There’s a lot of that around in our society and lesbophobia is very alive still, everywhere. 
You don’t need to find the “right man”. Ever. There’s no perfect high school boyfriend waiting for you if you’re a lesbian. There’s a girlfriend waiting for you. More than one, probably! You’ll love many women throughout your life and they’ll return it back to you. You’ll have friends that love you and support you. And when you say, “I’m a lesbian” it’ll roll off your tongue as easily as your name. Or your wife’s name. :) And you won’t feel any twinges of awkwardness or shame.
I wish you nothing but love and kindness, anon. Xx
And, also, anybody can ask me anything, btw. I generally really fucking suck with advice but my askbox is always here, if anybody needs it.
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blackkudos · 6 years
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Jeh Johnson
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Jeh Charles Johnson (born September 11, 1957) is an American civil and criminal trial lawyer, and the current United States Secretary of Homeland Security. He was the General Counsel of the Department of Defense from 2009 to 2012 during the first Obama Administration. Johnson is a graduate of Morehouse College (B.A.) and Columbia Law School (J.D.), and is the grandson of sociologist and Fisk University president Dr. Charles S. Johnson.
Johnson's first name is taken from a Liberian chief, who reportedly saved his grandfather’s life while he was on a League of Nations mission to Liberia in 1930.
Career
Johnson served as Assistant United States Attorney in the Southern District of New York from 1989 to 1991. From 1998 to 2001, he was General Counsel of the Department of the Air Force under President Bill Clinton. Prior to his appointment as General Counsel of the Department of Defense, Johnson was a partner at the New York law firm Paul, Weiss, Rifkind, Wharton & Garrison LLP, in which he was the first African American elected partner and to which he returned after his four years at the Defense Department. He was elected a fellow in the American College of Trial Lawyers in 2004.
On January 8, 2009, he was named by President Barack Obama to be General Counsel for the Defense Department. In December 2012, he resigned this position effective at the end of the year to return to private practice.
Ten months later, on October 18, 2013, Johnson was nominated by President Obama to be Secretary of Homeland Security.
Family
Johnson was born in New York City, the son of Norma (Edelin), who worked for Planned Parenthood, and Jeh Vincent Johnson, an architect.
On March 18, 1994, Johnson married Susan Maureen DiMarco, a dentist, at Corpus Christi Church (New York City). The pair grew up across the street from each other in Wappingers Falls, NY. They have two children, Natalie Johnson and Jeh Charles Johnson, Jr.
Experience in the 9/11 attacks
On September 11, 2001, Johnson (on his 44th birthday) experienced and witnessed in person the 9/11 attacks in New York City. After the collapse of the World Trade Center towers, Johnson wandered the streets of Lower Manhattan, asking many survivors "what can I do?". Today, he recalls in many speeches he presents his experience in the attacks of 9/11.
Federal prosecutor
Johnson began as an associate at Paul, Weiss in November 1984. In 1989 he left to serve as an assistant United States Attorney in the Southern District of New York, a position he held until the end of 1991. In that position, Johnson prosecuted public corruption cases.
Air Force General Counsel
Johnson returned to Paul, Weiss in 1992 and was elected partner at the firm in 1994. In 1998, Johnson was appointed General Counsel of the Air Force by President Bill Clinton after confirmation by the U.S. Senate. As General Counsel, Johnson was the senior legal official in the Air Force and Governor of Wake Island, in the Pacific Ocean. His tenure coincided with Operation Allied Force in 1999. He was awarded the Decoration for Exceptional Civilian Service for his efforts.
Private practice
After his service in the Clinton administration, Johnson returned to Paul, Weiss in 2001, where he was an active trial lawyer of large commercial cases.
Johnson was a member of the Executive Committee of the New York City Bar Association. From 2001 to 2004, he served as chairman of the City Bar’s Judiciary Committee, which rates and approves all federal, state and local judges in New York City. In 2007, Johnson was nominated by the New York State Commission on Judicial Nomination to be Chief Judge of New York though the incumbent, Judith Kaye, was ultimately reappointed by former Governor Eliot Spitzer.
Democratic Party involvement
Johnson was active in Democratic Party politics, as a fundraiser and adviser to presidential campaigns. Johnson served as special counsel to John Kerry's 2004 presidential campaign, and was an early supporter of Barack Obama's presidential campaign, active as a foreign policy adviser and as a member of his national finance committee.
General Counsel of the Department of Defense
On January 8, 2009, President-elect Barack Obama announced Johnson's nomination as Department of Defense General Counsel. On February 9, 2009, he was confirmed by the Senate.
As General Counsel of the Defense Department, Johnson was a major player in certain key priorities of the Obama Administration, and he is considered one of the legal architects of the U.S. military's current counterterrorism policies. In 2009, Johnson was heavily involved in the reform of military commissions, and testified before Congress numerous times in support of the Military Commissions Act of 2009. In February 2010, the Secretary of Defense appointed Johnson to co-chair a working group, along with Army General Carter Ham, to study the potential impact of a repeal of the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. In November 2010, following an extensive study, Johnson and General Ham reported that the risk to overall military effectiveness of a repeal would be low. The report was hailed as a thorough and objective analysis. The Washington Post editorial page wrote:
The report is remarkable not just for its conclusions but for its honest, thorough and respectful handling of a delicate subject. It offers a clear-eyed, careful, conservative approach to implementing policy change. It doesn't play down the hurdles or denigrate the opposition. It is, in short, a document to be taken seriously, especially by those who may have lingering doubts about allowing gays and lesbians to serve openly.
In August 2010, Johnson was part of the public dialogue over the WikiLeaks release of classified Pentagon documents known as the Afghan War Diary. "The Department of Defense will not negotiate some 'minimized' or 'sanitized' version of a release by WikiLeaks of additional U.S. government classified documents," he wrote in a letter to Timothy J. Matusheski, a lawyer representing the online whistle-blowing organization. In August 2012, Johnson also wrote to the former Navy SEAL who authored the book No Easy Day, a memoir by a Navy SEAL who participated in the mission that killed Osama bin Laden, and warned him of his material breach of his non-disclosure agreements with the Department of Defense regarding classified information.
In January 2011, Johnson provoked controversy when, according to a Department of Defense news story, he asserted in a speech at the Pentagon that deceased civil rights icon Martin Luther King, Jr., would have supported the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, despite King's outspoken opposition to American interventionism during his lifetime. Johnson argued that American soldiers fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq were playing the role of the Good Samaritan, consistent with King's beliefs, and that they were fighting to establish the peace for which King hoped. Jeremy Scahill of Salon.com called Johnson's remarks "one of the most despicable attempts at revisionist use of Martin Luther King Jr. I've ever seen," while Justin Elliott (also of Salon.com) argued that based on Dr. King's opposition to the Vietnam War, he would likely have opposed the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, as well as the covert wars in Pakistan and Yemen. Former assistant U.S. attorney Cynthia Kouril has defended Johnson's remarks, arguing in her blog that his speech has been misinterpreted.
In a February 2011, speech to the New York City Bar Association, Johnson "acknowledged the concerns raised" about the detention of alleged WikiLeaks source Private Bradley Manning and "stated that he had personally traveled to Quantico to conduct an investigation", according to human rights attorney and journalist Scott Horton. Horton wrote that "Johnson was remarkably unforthcoming about what he discovered and what conclusions he drew from his visit."
Johnson's tenure as General Counsel was also notable for several high-profile speeches he gave on national security. In a speech he delivered at the Heritage Foundation in October 2011, Johnson warned against "over-militarizing" the U.S. government's approach to counterterrorism: "There is risk in permitting and expecting the U.S. military to extend its powerful reach into areas traditionally reserved for civilian law enforcement in this country." At a speech at Yale Law School in February 2012, Johnson defended "targeted killings", but also stated:
[A]s a student of history I believe that those who govern today must ask ourselves how we will be judged 10, 20 or 50 years from now. Our applications of law must stand the test of time, because, over the passage of time, what we find tolerable today may be condemned in the permanent pages of history tomorrow.
Finally, at the Oxford Union in November 2012, shortly before his resignation, Johnson delivered a widely noted address entitled "The conflict against al Qaeda and its affiliates: how will it end?" in which he predicted a "tipping point" at which the U.S. government's efforts against al Qaeda should no longer be considered an armed conflict, but a more traditional law enforcement effort against individual terrorists. Johnson stated:
"War" must be regarded as a finite, extraordinary and unnatural state of affairs. War permits one man—if he is a "privileged belligerent," consistent with the laws of war—to kill another. War violates the natural order of things, in which children bury their parents; in war parents bury their children. In its 12th year, we must not accept the current conflict, and all that it entails, as the "new normal." Peace must be regarded as the norm toward which the human race continually strives.
The Oxford Union speech received widespread press attention, and editorial acclaim as the first such statement coming from an Obama administration official.
Robert Gates, Secretary of Defense under presidents George W. Bush and Obama, said that Johnson "proved to be the finest lawyer I ever worked with in government—a straightforward, plain-speaking man of great integrity, with common sense to burn and a good sense of humor" and that he "trusted and respected him like no other lawyer I had ever worked with."
Department of Homeland Security
Johnson was nominated by President Barack Obama to be the fourth U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security in October 2013, and was subsequently confirmed on December 16, 2013, by the U.S. Senate with a vote of 78–16. He was sworn in on December 23, 2013.The Washington Post reported "Johnson, an African-American, would bring further racial diversity to Obama's Cabinet."
When Johnson entered office one of his top priorities was to fill all of the high level vacancies. By April 2015 the President had appointed and the Senate confirmed all but one of Johnson's senior leader positions. One of Johnson's first major efforts as Secretary was his unity of effort initiative to set the conditions for the Department to operate in a more unified fashion and develop a culture that recognizes and responds adequately to the diverse challenges the Department of Homeland Security faces.
In the spring and summer of 2014 the southern border of the United States experienced a large influx of immigrants, many of whom were children, coming from Central America. Secretary Johnson and his Department worked with the Department of Health and Human Services to coordinate a response to address the immigrants' needs. In June, U.S. Citizenship and Immigrations Services asylum officers were reassigned to conduct credible fear interviews, while prioritizing the cases of recently apprehended unaccompanied children, adults with children, and other recent border crossers. At the same time, Secretary Johnson asked for the support of Congress to increase border security and prevent more spikes like this from happening again. After the flow of immigrant children to the United States, the Department of Homeland Security established three family residential centers, and they immediately became the focus of much controversy. The ACLU has compared them to Japanese internment camps and in July 2015 a U.S. District Court Judge in California ordered that the family residential centers comply with a 1997 settlement concerning the detention of children.
During the summer and fall of 2014, Secretary Johnson oversaw the Department of Homeland Security's response to the ongoing Ebola crisis in West Africa. The Ebola epidemic was the largest in history, and impacted multiple West African countries. In response, the Department of Homeland Security developed policies, procedures and protocols to identify travelers for screening who could have been potentially infected to minimize the risk to the traveling public. This response was chosen by the Department over limiting travel visas to the United States, which Secretary Johnson contended would have been a mistake given the leadership position of the U.S. and likelihood of influencing other countries to take the same action.
After the House of Representatives failed to act on S. 744, Secretary Johnson and President Obama issued ten new executive actions on November 20, 2014 to address the 11 million undocumented individuals in the United States. These actions included, among others, a new Southern Border and Approaches Campaign Strategy, a revision of removal priorities to focus on criminals and national security threats, the end to the Secure Communities program replaced by a new Priority Enforcement Program (PEP), the expansion of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA), and the extension of DACA to Parents of Americans and Lawful Permanent Residents (DAPA). Johnson is said to have worked heavily on drafting the executive actions at the behest of the President.
In a 60 Minutes profile of Secretary Johnson that aired in April 2015, it was stated: "[s]o far he's gotten high marks, even from the Republicans in Congress. When he came on board, nearly half the senior management jobs were vacant; he's filled all but one; he's boosted morale; and improved the coordination and dissemination of threat information throughout the government."
In May 2015, Secretary Johnson issued reforms that helped minimize detention time for families in residential centers. In June, one year after the increase of unaccompanied children crossing the southern border, Secretary Johnson committed publicly to continually evaluating the policy of family residential centers. The Secretary made personal visits to the family residential centers and spoke with dozens of Central American mothers at the facilities before issuing additional substantial changes to the Department's detention practices with respect to families with children. One major change included releasing families who establish eligibility for asylum or other relief under the law.
During his service Secretary Johnson has given several high profile speeches. On June 8, 2015 he gave a speech at Rice University's James A Baker III Institute for Public Policy. He focused on the Department of Homeland Security's border security efforts, describing the trends in border crossers decreasing over the past year, and the Obama administration's executive actions issued to address the millions of hard working undocumented immigrants in America. In July he presented the Landon Lecture at Kansas State University. He warned of the evolving terrorist threat, from terrorist group trained and directed attacks to terrorist group inspired attacks, and described the Department of Homeland Security's efforts to keep Americans safe.
Secretary Johnson also gave the 56th Green Lecture at Westminster College, the same place where Winston Churchill gave the "Iron Curtain" speech. In his Green Lecture, Secretary Johnson emphasized the use of history as an important tool in shaping the decisions of those in public office. Specifically, he discussed the need to be wary of government overreach when responding to threats and crisis, and how it is during these moments when the U.S. government must work its hardest to preserve the values it cherishes. Johnson stated:
"We can erect more walls, install more screening devices, and make everybody suspicious of each other, but we should not do so at the cost of who we are as a Nation of people who cherish our privacy, our religions, our freedom to speak, travel and associate, and who celebrate our diversity and our immigrant heritage. In the final analysis, these are the things that constitute our greatest strengths as a Nation."
http://wikipedia.thetimetube.com/?q=Jeh+Johnson&lang=en
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I recently found out I’m bi, and I don’t know what the slang means, where I can find coming out tips, etc. Do you know any websites where I can find these things?
Congratulations, and welcome to the community! Being bi is a blast. I’ve compiled a hasty list of websites, blogs, and resources that might help you. This is a small list, so i would encourage you to do a bit more in-depth research. There are some great blogs here on tumblr as well that i haven’t listed, as well as so many other great resources out there. 
Websites
biresource.org
       Great all around resource, also has some good thoughts on coming out
https://us.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/
       Good tips to think about when coming out
https://www.pride.com/bisexual/2016/9/20/5-tips-those-struggling-come-out-bisexual
       More good coming out tips
https://www.uua.org/lgbtq/identity/bisexuality
       Kind of aimed at non-bi people trying to understand bisexuality, but also good for  new to the community to read. Also has a great list of resources at the bottom.
Blogs
@bisexual-community
@dailybiaffirmation
@bisexualfacts​
Disclaimer: this was a quick search so if anyone knows anything about these sites being transphobic/acephobic/nb-phobic, please let me know and i’ll remove it from the list. Also sorry im the least tech savvy person on the planet. 
There you go! I’m always here for a chat if you need one, and there are loads of other bi/queer people and allies that would be willing to help you. Enjoy!
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