nerdygaymormon

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

I'm writing a few books and one of them has a very queer main couple. It's (currently) a hetero relationship but the main character is AroAce and I want it to be abundantly clear that despite her being married, it isn't romantic (or even sexual) in nature. I want to bring representation to a group that doesn't get much representation, but I also want to share my book with my family, and my church friends.

I don't know what their reactions to having an openly queer character would be. (I want more than just the MC as queer but that's just the one I'll be referencing.) I also am not out completely and I'm worried about questions that I won't be able to answer honestly. I don't want to change the characters to appease anyone, but I also don't know how to share stories that reference a part of myself I hide so much.

Do you have any thoughts and recommendations? I would even just love some reassurance.

~ 🦆

Congratulations! Creative endeavors, like writing a book, is beneficial to mental health.

I love the Netflix series "Heartstopper" and that they included an aroace character, but he was a background character and didn't provide the type of representation that aroace people need and deserve. For that reason, I'm very glad your main character will be aroace.

I think there's two main reasons why there aren't many aroace characters, especially ones who aren't side characters. The first is that not many people are familiar with the concept of aromanticism and asexuality. The other is that much of fiction is a series of conflicts that are overcome, and having two characters meet who don't initially like each other and they fall in love, or who have a one-night stand and then have to deal with the consequences of that, are easy and familiar templates. We don't have well-known templates for aroace characters to move a plot along.

I love that you'll be able to imbue real knowledge and experience into your character.

There are some unfortunate stereotypes about aro and ace characters that you can counter. For example, just because the character is aroace doesn’t mean they are a lonely, awkward loser. They can have meaningful friendships. Being aroace isn't the same as not being able to love. Too often non-aroace people write from their perspective and so they see being aroace as a problem to solve, they have the character missing romantic and/or sexual relationships, when that's not how an aroace person experiences the world, they don't miss it and don’t feel a loss at not having that because it's not part of their nature.

One thing that's common in stories is to have someone who can introduce the viewer/reader to a world, an experience, they aren't familiar with. So you could have a friend who sometimes makes comments and learns more about what it's like to be aroace. Like the main character could say something about a zucchini and the friend brings over some zucchini bread and learns that "zucchini" is a term for a queer platonic partner. Or make the main character says something about invading Denmark, and the friend doen't know that's a common joke in ace culture.

A little more advice, figure out the aroace character's motivation, develop that really well as it will help guide you on how they interact with other characters, it gives you the "why" they do things that help move the plot along. Another way you can use the aroace character is as a foil to other characters, for example, they can point out that the other person is being blinded by lust or is easily manipulated because they're crushing on that person. And my last piece of advice is you don't have to represent every aroace person's experience, you can simply portray an authentic experience that is unique to this character.

I'm really excited you're doing this. Aroace representation is very lacking and how great that a person who has firsthand knowledge can use that to inform the character. I can understand that you worry how your family might react, the thing is it's fiction. You can let them know whether that character is similar to you or you can just have it be part of a fictional world without divulging it's related to your experience. You get to share your work with as many or as few people as you choose, and what a lovely thing it is when someone trusts us enough to share a part of their creativity and their personal creation with us.

[nerdygaymormon]

Already know I wanna send this to people on June 1

[nerdygaymormon]

one more sleep to pride month. everyone remember to leave your milk and cookies out for the gays tonight

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

Source

Want more info? Here ya go: 

This Biology Teacher Disproved Transphobia With Science 

ALSO:

Sex redefined

“The idea of two sexes is simplistic. Biologists now think there is a wider spectrum than that.”

More on anti-trans arguments as bad science

[nerdygaymormon]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

“You’re loved” is a pretty thing to say.

I wholeheartedly believe that you are - but if you’re the kind of person who only believes positive affirmations when they come with proof, you may have a hard time agreeing with me on that.

After all, I can’t know that. Maybe the people in your life suck and don’t see the great things in you. You may not even see them yourself. I can’t promise you that they do.

But do you know what I can promise you? That you are lovable. That you deserve love and attention and a sense of community.

Perhaps you don’t have a big group of friends or you’re not close with your family or you don’t really feel like you belong anywhere. I can’t tell you “Look at all those loving faces”, you may not see any right now. But you know what? It’s not about that.

It’s about your worth as a person. You are worthy, you matter, you deserve love.

If the people in your life don’t make you feel loved, it’s not your failure.

With all my love, Your Tumblr Dad

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

"Trygg" in Norwegian is "Safe" in English

There is a lot of talk about what the rainbow colors mean these days. The answer is quite simple: Showing who you are - or who you stand with - is not just decoration. It means that there is room for you, that you belong and that you are safe.

[nerdygaymormon]

It's hard to walk the fine line between Bi positivity/pride and the arrogance associated with obvious Bi superiority.

But I try.

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]

Christ without HRT is just cis.

Trans Jesus confirmed

[nerdygaymormon]

[nerdygaymormon]