#3nthusiasts inbox

[valve3nthusiast]

Ough,,, secretary Soundwave is so hot. I need more please….

*Handwaves a vague office setting*

Secretary Soundwave accidentally answering a call while getting dicked down by his boss and remaining flawlessly professional the entire time. This definitely makes Megatron Feel a Certain Way

Megsy is the one most often taking advantage of Soundwave's short skirt and disinclintation to file complaints with HR, but Starscream makes his appearance as #2 biggest sex pest solely to try and piss off Megatron

Starscream's greatest achievement in this regard is probably fucking Soundwave on top of Megatron's desk, which he only talked Soundwave into because Megatron denied Soundwave's vacation and he was feeling extremely petty about it. They left Soundwave's soaked panties on the desk as a final pièce de résistance

Completely unrelatedly, Megatron tried to fist fight Starscream in the company parking lot the next day

[valve3nthusiast]

Roddy being a daddy-kink haver made me go feral for five seconds-

He'd totally try to seduce Megatron into plowing him and then start calling him daddy. The whole reason he even wanted Megatron's fat spike was so he could hold on to his massive frame and tremble helplessly while moaning like a pornstar, calling this old man Daddy.

extra points if he and Drift call Ratchet daddy too.

Roddy is determined to give Megatron his nasty organic kinks, and Megs has no say over the matter >:3

The first time Megatron frags Rodimus he more or less ignores the daddy stuff with a very "I don't want to know" attitude. But like a frog in a pot of slowly boiling water, it starts to affect him. He will never ever directly admit that he's actually getting a little into it

However, there is something undeniably appealing about watching Rodimus desperately try to ride his massive spike while begging Daddy to please touch his node, please, he's being a good boy for Daddy, please let him overload, please

(Plus, it's really fun to send Rodimus "are you being good for Daddy?" over a private comm and watch him squirm and leak lubricant on the captain's chair)

[valve3nthusiast]

https://www.tumblr.com/valve3nthusiast/763696287679922176/i-love-it-when-something-is-just-like-living

This is actually how I imagine Bayverse Soundwave's Casseticons work

They just live in his pussy until it's Go Time

I don't know anything about bayverse Soundwave (other than that he was a satellite at one point I think?) but I fucking love the idea of Soundwave's cassettes living in his pussy

Cassettes having to crawl and squirm all the way through his valve to their docking stations... the real reason they keep giving Soundwave childbearing hips in new continuities is because he has to birth out all of his cassettes constantly

Soundwave's tiny terrors don't care about entering their dock in public, so sometimes in the middle of a briefing, or in the mess hall, or really anywhere, Soundwave spreads his legs and lets his cassette into his pussy in front of any number of random Decepticons

This may excite a few of them into trying their luck, but none them ever manage to succeed. If they did, they would quickly find that if their spike goes too deep, a very angry sharp beak or toothy maw will start to bite. The cassettes don't want any nasty transfluid getting in their docks >:(

Of course, the cassettes will make up for the dry spell by playing with the ceiling nodes in the back of his valve... when they feel like it...

Let's just say that it's a good thing Soundwave has a built-in poker face >:)

[valve3nthusiast]

Based on your post about hot secretary Prowl and Soundwave post-

Soundwave wearing outfits like the ones you mentioned in that post just to frustrate Megatron after an argument, knowing it turns his master on immensely. He keeps doing this for weeks until Megatron snaps and fucks him in front of the rest of the decepticon team

One must imagine how Megatron fucked up that bad cause you know absolutely nothing is getting done in Decepticon high command when Soundwave is walking around looking like a gift from Primus to all of mechkind. There's at least one Decepticon pin-up artist out there that cried tears of joy upon receiving the news that Soundwave had decided to dress like a slutty secretary

Megatron seething in jealousy and unfulfilled lust as he watches his army shamelessly thirst for Soundwave... That's his Soundwave, get your own! (Soundwave hears this thought, shakes his head disapprovingly, and leaves the room with a sway in his hips that makes at least one distracted soldier crash into a wall)

Which is to say nothing of the effects this little number is having on Megatron himself... truly should've known better than to argue with Soundwave, because telepathy means that he can be strategic and absolutely evil about it at the same time

Megatron is in the same room as Soundwave having his energon break? Oopsie, it looks like he spilled it all over his blouse... and now it's all wet and clinging tightly to his boobs, would you look at that...

Megatron is standing behind him? Seems like the perfect time to "accidentally" drop his datapad and bend over to pick it back up. Its definitely a complete accident that his skirt flips up so his Lord can see his bare valve, shiny with lubricant from overhearing all of Megatron's dirty thoughts and fantasies...

Really, given Soundwave's diabolical plot, Megatron thinks he should be commended for his discipline. Truly, he must have the patience of Primus himself for not staking his claim on his Third in command in front of the entire Decepticon army, which seems to solely consist of perverts and incompetent fools

He magimoniously restrains himself to only fucking Soundwave across the war table in the middle of a command meeting. A few of his officers were getting a little too bold for his liking, so he needed to deliver a firm reminder that Soundwave belongs to him

[valve3nthusiast]

so it was rodimus right? Who set the tentacle monster loose? Or maybe whirl or swerve…. Hmmm so many options…

I cannot confirm which horny dipshit it was (yea it was Rodimus)

It's just occurred to me that this is much funnier if it's a dumb accident, perhaps Roddy someone was doing some very irresponsible and kinky shenanigans with the tentacle monster he found while visiting an alien planet... in his defense, it was very determined to get under his panels and investigate his valve with enthusiasm

A little too much enthusiasm... the tentacles stuff his valve so full they start wiggling into his tank and it is very hot but also. They don't seem to wanna come out

He's a little too distracted by multiple molten hot overloads to notice when his plating gets a cute little bulge from his tentacle-stuffed womb. He finally realizes how extra fucked he is when it's time to return to ship and the tentacle monster is almost completely inside him with just a few longer tendrils still hanging out of his hole to play with his node

Obviously telling anyone about his problem would be so embarrassing that it would kill him instantly, so he makes the incredibly smart decision to try and sneak back to his room with the tentacles still inside him

Problem one: their are still the tentacles that can't fit into his absolutely overstuffed valve, which he can't close his panels over

Solution: after a lot of struggling, he figures out he can tuck them into his spikesheath finally close his panels

Problem two: there is a tentacle monster writhing in his oversensitive valve and tank, and now it's trying to push itself further into his spikesheath as his modesty panels absolutely crush the wiggling tentacles into his node. He still needs to walk back to the ship and get to his room. Everything feels horribly, terribly, fantastically wonderful

Solution: good fucking luck, Rodimus. Godspeed

Anon I hope you don't mind that I went crazy on your ask. because I had the thought "Roddy smuggles the tentacle monster in via his pussy on accident" and some sort of demon possessed me

[valve3nthusiast]

"Something spike shaped"

Drift definitely put a crystal in there. His aura needed a deep cleanse.

Oh Drift is the champion of putting potentially harmful bodies in his holes. His valve is going to need a deep cleanse if he keeps putting shit in there that could dissolve, according to a very irate Ratchet

Unfortunately all Drift heard from that speech was Ratchet saying "your valve" and "deep." He was too busy enjoying the feeling of his new, even bigger aura healing crystal he'd stuffed himself with to realign its energy ^_^

He definitely has a vast collection of conspicuously spike shaped healing crystals, is what I'm saying

[valve3nthusiast]

Imagine Soundwave entering heat and accidentally triggering every seeker rut cycle

Just Soundwave getting filled to the brim with transfluid over and over again. Reduced to a moaning mess, maybe the Seekers get competitive on who can fill him up the most. 🤭

In the end he ends up carrying triplets and the seekers take bets on whose it’s gonna be.

Soundwave getting dicked down by the entire air force 🥵

Trines in rut, violently fighting each other for the right to mount him next, while the current group passes him around like a cheap fragtoy. They couldn't find a way to get his mask off, so instead he's pinned between two seekers and taking both their spikes at once...

Depending on how long heats are, someone better have the mind to grab energon for poor Soundwave. He might spend days getting his valve filled with seeker spike, even long after his forge is completely stuffed with transfluid

Of course he gets heavy with seekerlets... and every potential sire is very happy to continue donating transfluid for the sparklings. After all, they say you can't really tell who's coding is dominant until the bitlets emerge :3c

[valve3nthusiast]

Ratchet: the sexy siren in my dreams isn't real and I can't get him pregnant

Drift, the sexy siren in his dreams who he is actively getting pregnant: 🥺🐬👉👈😚🐠🐟

Ratchet when the sexy siren in his dreams starts getting fat with pups: Primus, I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

Drift, getting his fishussy pounded even harder because sirenspelled Ratchet can't hide his pregnancy kink: *satisfied fish noises*

[valve3nthusiast]

Hey hey, hey, minimus in the Magnus armor with a huge dildo trapped in his valve. Maybe for his systems to run optimally he needs to get rid of his charge regularly (read: tyrest says he HAS to masterbate regularly and record it to ensure the armor syncs up correctly. I love tyrest being a little creep when it comes to Ultra Magnus/the loadbearers) so he follows the rules and has a scheduled time for it. And then, in the middle of sinking down on a dildo that stretches his valve almost to its maximum, he gets an emergency call from Rodimus that something is going wrong and Ultra Magnus is needed in the bridge immediately! In his panic to get the bridge he kinda, forgets to pull it out.

He gets to the bridge and the emergency is something stupid they do need him to fix, and it takes FOREVER. It only takes 20 mins but it feels like it takes forever as minimus becomes aware that everytime the armor takes a step it bumps the dildo a little bit. Not enough to make minimus overload, but just enough he can't focus.

But once he finishes fixing the problem a bunch of others things need his attention. Everyone assumes Ultra Magnus is pissed off because he's just stone faced and completely silent as he helps out, but the real problem is Minimus can't talk without moaning, hes so close to an overload. And he still has a couple hours of things to fix before he can go back to his room

Tyrest incel moment

Oagh Mims having to put 100% of his concentration into not making an "I'm about to overload" face as he realizes the machinery of the armor subtly vibrates through the dildo, what feels like directly into his ceiling node

The stupid "emergency" involves a great deal of tracking down various people who are in places they're not supposed to be, which means so much walking. So. Much. Walking. He didn't even shut his modesty panel before he jumped into the armor, not that he could close it over the flared base, and it gently rocks into his valve with every step

Taking stairs is torture. Actual torture. And of course Ultra Magnus always takes the stairs, elevators are for actual emergencies (or those with mobility impairment) and if anyone asks why he's using the elevator, he'd probably moan. He thinks, a little hysterically, that he's going to have to clean lubricant out of the Magnus armor later

[valve3nthusiast]

I am so stupid into Prowl, I've written an absolutely obscene amount about him. I'm attracted to the competence but I am. Also a freak about pussy. I'm just so so into the idea of Prowl fucking semi-casually, or having a sparkling or two when combat dies out (isn't safe, otherwise, and he's not stupid enough to risk that.) And just. Nonetheless continuing to be the object of nightmares. He can be a decent carrier, enjoy interface, but I fully believe he is simultaneously ready to tear someone's fucking throat out with his denta.

I just... competence kink, alright? Sometimes, competence happens to be extreme violence. He might've killed one of his sparklings sires, might've ditched them somewhere they'd never be able to find him again, dunno, depends how familiar they are to him.

I like the phrase 'fucked stupid' but I. Do not thing he's the one being fucked stupid. He's probably having a great time!! But he's like. Also still doing work. It really depends on whether or not he likes who he's fragging and if they deserve his attention.

IM JUST. INTO HIM. I usually have personal issues with daddy/mommy kink stuff, but. Idk. He might be a MILF.

I keep trying to figure out how to answer this but when I think of Prowl being both terrifying and attractive at the same time my brain just starts yelling BLACK WIDOW PROWL BLACK WIDOW PROWL BLACK WIDOW PROWL

Do I mean "black widow" as in a woman that kills the men she marries, or as in the spider that is commonly said to eat its mate? Yes.

When not imagining Prowl as a wet cat little meow meow he is so black widow coded. Like every time I see the comic panels where his design has that red highlight on his crotch that's always the first thing I think of. Tarantulas fumbled a glorious opportunity to make Prowl even sexier by not turning him into a spider tbh

[valve3nthusiast]

I had a thought the other day. So you reckon sometimes, just maybe, Minimus would just ride the Magnus armour?

Like, imagine him after a tiring day of paperwork, fixing Rodimus's reports, detaining Whirl, -the usual-, He slowly makes the walk from his office to his habsuite, feet aching from walking around the ship with his armor removed. And as he sits at the edge of his berth (i firmly believe he does 'breathing exercises' before recharging), he looks up at the crotch plate of the armor and an idea comes to mind. (I know realistically the Magnus armor wouldn't have a spike, but we can dream, and we can draw)

Next thing you know, he's feverishly hopping up and down on that Magnus-mega-cock. Oh~! Imagine the stretch~! Imagine his throbbing anterior node~ (Wouldn't it be funny if he manages to get a piston motor installed, so essentially, the spike does all the work and Minimus just has to hold on for dear life)

(staying anonymous because i have a teensy bit of dignity left)

Anon, you've stumbled across one of my favorite things to think about

Of course, he'd have that moment of thinking, Am I really going to do this? as he stares at the armor's modesty plate. Imagining the armor's spike filling him, his panel opens and his array starts dripping, valve cycling down on nothing (for now)

Still pretending it's just morbid curiosity as he commands the armor's spike to extend. Pulling it out and running a hand over the biolights. Maybe he puts his arm up next to it, sees that the spike is bigger than his entire forearm. It just makes him wetter

That final I can stop moment shatters as he slides the spikehead against his dripping slit. His spike is out, he'll need the space, and his anterior node pulses from how charged this has him. Maybe he gives it a mean little pinch to get the lubricant flowing more, slicking up the spike with his own fluids

He's never done something so gauche as fisting himself, but when the spikehead sinks past the first calipers, he imagines that this must be what it feel like. Slowly, steadily, he makes his way down the spike, valve walls yielding to its massive girth

Maybe he's made such a mess by now that his legs slip and he drops a couple inches down on the spike faster than he meant to... Surprised with himself that he doesn't overload on the spot as it slams into his internal nodes

When he's finally sat down completely, do you think his abdominal plating bulges from it? Every caliper cycled out to the max, array so charged he's already trembling on the edge of overload

It would be hot if the spike was so big he couldn't even ride it properly, he has to grab the Magnus armor and pull himself up because his thighs don't have the strength to lift him

Maybe he can't move at all and just has to sit on the spike and grind it into his internal nodes until he overloads... He would feel so depraved, thighs covered in his own fluids, fucking himself with what he thinks of as his own spike...

[valve3nthusiast]

Please for the love of god give us more megasound thoughts. I was laughing so hard at your last one I was crying I love it

On it boss o7

Imo some peak sexyfunny megasound dynamic is Soundwave being lowkey oblivious to how much he has Megatron's spike on a chain

I think they both would have been crushing for a while before they got together. Now that they're dating, Soundwave is lost in that domestic bliss sauce, but Megatron is 100% aware he just bagged the hot goth bf of his dreams, and he will, under no circumstances, fuck this up

Which actually leads to Soundwave being the kinky, adventurous one at first. As previously mentioned, acts of service are his thing, and he's definitely into playing up the "dating your boss" aspect of this relationship

An average day for Megatron after they start dating: "You want to suck me off while I sit on the throne?" "You want to ride me while you get datawork done?" "You want to put a vibrating spike in your valve and give me the controller?" (He is SO into it)

Megatron occasionally wonders if he's stepped into a dream, or perhaps an alternate universe. Then he takes Soundwave to bed, fingers him open, and fucks him into the berth. As he watches Soundwave’s beautiful face twist in overload, Megatron decides, As long as this never ends, I don't particularly care either way

(One day Soundwave's gonna be like, hey you never suggest anything are you actually down with all this? And Megs will panic and blurt out something like, I wanna fuck you across the table in the middle of a command meeting)

[valve3nthusiast]

Going on your last post, Siren Mer Drift Getting knocked up by a land dweller Ratchet is just yes?

You think after so long Drift does eventually tell Ratchet who he is? Maybe it's to late when trying to tell Ratchet he's sparked and it's Ratchets, Ratchet gets saved and Drift is left alone

You think Ratchet would eventually find out if a very heavy and pregnant Siren mer Drift caught in a jet is how the two meet again?

Ooooh let's pick the most dramatic option possible

There's a language barrier going on here, so for the time, Drift is content to have his beloved landdweller only when he's dreaming under the sirenspell... but he starts to consider revealing himself when he realizes he's growing heavy with pups

Unfortunately, he doesn't get the chance, because Ratchet is finally rescued by a passing ship. Driven to at least say goodbye to his love, he tries to sing Ratchet into the water for a moment...

Only to be caught by the crew, because it's a sirenhunting ship

The crew tells Ratchet he must have gotten lucky, the siren was probably playing with its food while he was trapped on the island. Ratchet says nothing, staring at the siren, suddenly sure that he knows it from his heated dreams...

Ratchet is repulsed by the crew's talk of selling it at port. Maybe he's insane for having sympathy for a mech-eating monster, but watching the poor thing whimper and thrash in it's tank pulls at something in his spark... and he begins planing something monumentally stupid

He better hurry up, because Drift is having a terrible time. He's scared, he's hungry, the water is awful, and his pups will be due soon, likely in just a few weeks...

[valve3nthusiast]

I did actually intend for it to be read as multiple dicks lol ;) glad you caught onto that. Maybe they’re slightly translucent so you can see eggs travel thru while breeding their mate? I also imagine they’re kind of prehensile and soft in the way that they can move to further push inside. Him stuffed full of as many tentacles as possible, taking clutch after clutch with eggs, his protoform and valve expanding and stretching to accommodate?

Sunstreaker bundled up safe and snug in the hive's nest, attendant drones making sure he's comfy as he's constantly mounted and bred full of eggs...

Being empty aches, he's unresisting as the next insecticon climbs on his back and he feels the inquisitive little tendrils probing his slit. His now constantly-dripping valve is spread open, larger tentacles gliding into him effortlessly. The aperture of his tank can't close anymore after laying so many eggs, and the ovipositor is right on target as it starts stuffing Sunny's tank with them, hundreds of squishy little orbs that will spend weeks growing inside him

Finally, the insecticon gets to the best part: making sure the eggs are fertilized with lots of transfluid and ignited by lots of Sunny's overloads. Dozens more tentacles invade his valve, writhing against his walls, as the iris of his tank is stuffed with the tips of as many as physically possible

His first overload hits him hard when he feels the transfluid spraying into his tank, but the insecticon uses the opportunity of his flexing valve to stuff it with even more tendrils. Sunny never gets any time to recover as the tentacles target his internal nodes, firmly pressing into every sensor as his valve is filled to max capacity

The insecticon stays locked on his back for days, the wriggling tendrils in his valve never stopping. When it finally decides the job is done, there's one last step before it can dismount...

A tentacle spends the final few hours filling him with a jelly-like fluid that will harden and plug his hole, keeping the eggs inside him until they've grown large enough to survive without incubation. Poor Sunny can't have anything else in his valve anymore, but there's always an attendant sucking his outer note to make sure the eggs still get energy from Sunny's overloads

When the plug dissolves, the eggs spill out of his loose valve, warm with newly-ignited sparklight <3

[valve3nthusiast]

(Answering @camp-mithril-lake , my asks are biffed atm)

Roddy absolutely got that pregnancy glow, highkey one of my favorite things to think about with this au is how happy he is. Happy people are very attractive, and after it's gotten out to the crew and everyone actually believes that Rodimus is going to somehow make a newbuild...

Well. after a ridiculously long and population-devastating war, it's going to make a lot of mechs Feel A Certain Way

Extremely funny part of vector au that I haven't mentioned yet: At some point, probably around the third or fourth time Roddy starts fabricating another sparkchamber, Ratchet someone's got to ask, "So... when are you going to stop getting pregnant?"

And Roddy, rubbing his new baby bump with a goofy little smile, is gonna go, "Oh! When my protocols think there's enough newbuilds around. No clue what that will happen. It might take a while"

And Ratchet the person who asked is going to look at the newbuilds, currently running wild in Swerve's (he made a "newbuild's night"). One of them is on top of Whirl's shoulders, screaming excited nonsense as he shoots things. One of them is making a """baking soda volcano""" with Brainstorm. One of them is going back and forth between Drift and Cyclonus, begging them to teach him sword fighting

That bot's gonna give the most defeated groan you can imagine, before throwing back the engex he's definitely not supposed to have at kids night. Being Ratchet is suffering

(I think I remember the art you're talking about, lmao. Multishipper that I am, I sometimes headcanon the Lost Light as an extremely expansive, extended polycule. Loveboat ftw)

[valve3nthusiast]

transformers fans trying not to impregnate the 18 ft tall robots challenge (impossible)

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