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#79 degrees of bliss
blitz33 · 4 months
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[4] thesis excerpt : "A"
[July 6th, 2019, 07:19 PST]
Belonging to the family Cyprinodontidae, the Devils Hole pupfish (Cyprinodon diabolis) live in the upper shelf of the titular geological formation situated in the Amargosa Desert, southeast of the California-Nevada border. The Devils Hole is an ecological enigma, but more on that later. 
Let’s take an example for our studies—a four-month old male specimen. Let’s call him “A.” While colors may vary between pupfishes, even within a given subspecies, and are notably distinguished between males and females, A is a brilliant and expensive-looking blue, coated in an iridescence that makes him appear laced with silver. The margins of his fins (pectoral, dorsal, and caudal) are black-tiped, for distinction. A is 1-inch long, just slightly above the average 0.9 inches. Not that the fishes are making such comparisons between themselves, though. That’s a pastime among different species.
Like other pupfishes, the Devils Hole pupfish are found in extremely isolated habitats and, due to the female’s low fecundity and the hatched eggs’ slim survival rate, reproduce slowly. Such biological combinations make the species particularly prone to endangerment. While population censuses have been sparsely conducted, so as to not disturb the fishes’ highly delicate ecosystem, the most recently conducted survey (just this past spring) counted 136 observable pupfish. The Devils Hole pupfish numbers have always been low (with record population high just clocking under 550 in the 90s), but this current downward trend has earned the species new designation as “critically endangered.” And with ex situ conservation projects proving generally unsuccessful (there’s nothing like home), the threat of extinction within the next few decades is undeniable.
The end is not on A’s tiny mind. He goes about his day gobbling inorganic particulate matter and limestone algae in his hot tub of a habitat. (Devils Hole’s water temperature remains stable at 33 degrees Celsius, or 92 Fahrenheit, which is uncharacteristically warm for Cyprinodontidae species and most other aquatic vertebrate species.) Perhaps he’ll bounce around with some of the other male pupfish, nipping and zooming much like a puppy indeed—how else would they have earned their name? A has nothing but the ever-refreshing present. Second by second. The future is an abstraction. 
This is a necessary bliss, because life is short (for A). The Devils Hole pupfish’s lifespan hovers around 10-14 months. 
The fishes’ precarious location contributes to the instability of their life. The Devils Hole appears at first to be a small, sunken body of water arbitrarily placed in the hostel stretches of the Death Valley desert. The Hole is a hole, which is to say, an opening. Through the opening, sunlight and meager rainfall reach the vast groundwater system flowing underneath the barren land. Spelunkers have been unable to determine the exact depths of the subterranean caverns, with some estimates reaching beyond 1,000 feet. When two boys jumped into the Hole in 1965, they lost their bodies to the unarticulated waters. 
Because the bottom has never been reached. It remains unknown.
What is known is that the aquatic caves run deep enough to make the waters sensitive to seismic activity from across the world. Vibrations sent by shifting plates resonate in the lowest regions of the chamber walls and cause the water at the surface to slosh in response, effectively creating a microscopic tsunami—a seiche. If geologists are correct in their calculations that these limestone labyrinths were formed over 500,000 years ago (half a megaannum!), then the Devils Hole has gurgled up history’s cataclysms. Picture Mount Vesuvius erupting in AD 79, an eruption powerful enough to preserve entire civilizations in its ashfall. The Devils Hole must’ve rippled a few inches or so. When a nearly eight-degree magnitude earthquake devastated Lisbon on All Saints’ Day in 1755 and brought every European man to his knees, rejecting the promise of God’s providence for the new faith of rational thought, the blue pool burped excitedly. The Great Chilean earthquake, which all but crumpled the city Valdivia in late May of 1960 and remains the largest seismic event in recorded history, certainly caused quite the swirl. 
On July 4th, 2019 (just two days ago), the southern Californian town of Ridgecrest experienced a 6.4 earthquake, triggering a sequence of hundreds of other aftershocks. Now, the earth quivers again—the seismographs indicate a 7.1 magnitude shock. Car alarms go off across the city. People yell across the city in different languages. ¡Cuidado! Electricity momentarily flickers.
The Devils Hole is just about 160 miles away from Ridgecrest. The event laughs into the caves, disturbing the water at the opening. Waves form in the mouth of the Hole. They quickly increase in magnitude, crashing up against the Hole’s walls. To the pupfish, a real disaster is at hand. There goes A, tumbling in the seiche. All these rare creatures—their bodies break as they slam into stone and suffocate under shooting sediment. 
Suddenly, the seiche flicks A out of the water. He loses his body to the unarticulated air, the heights of which have never been reached and remain unknown. The aftershocks subside and the water is still again. A barn owl (Tyto alba) flies over the opening and grieves for the throttled fish. The rest of the world moves forward unthinkingly. The car owners click their keys and silence the streets. Lovers across the country kiss and go swimming in their own pools. But they can understand it too, the loss of form felt when flung from their enclosures.
AA 12.21
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cncgalatea · 3 years
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I Left with No Regrets
This is a Reedsy Weekly Writing Prompt that I have written where the prompt is:  “Write about someone who decides it’s time to cut ties with a family member.”  I enjoyed writing it since this made me think and edit it majorly because I had to make this as real as possible. So, here is the link to the original link if you want to help me edit my work more. Enjoy reading~
https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/79/submissions/53124/
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Family.
One thing that I yearned for so long yet is something that others say is really not needed considering I do have one. Or do I? I can't really tell. According to my teachers, I have a mother that is attentive and loving, a father that is hardworking and supportive, a brother that is protective and understanding, and a sister that is optimistic and extremely social. My friends say that my dad is friendly, my mom is welcoming, my brother is protective, and my sister is beautiful. Stangers would say that my sister is like a clone of my mom with my dad's personality while my brother is similar to my father with mom's personal charms tucked in. They would always wonder if I was an adoptee of their simply because I don't look like them.
"No, I'm not." I would remember telling them that.
I am the biological child of my mom and my dad and the youngest sibling of my brother and sister. But they would look at me with a suspicious look on their faces as if they don't believe me. I would then ignore it, already used to the stares of disbelief.
Rightfully so, after all, I am not like my family at all.
They would worry about their social life and status, after all, we are a middle-class family. They would dress up in fancy, fake designer clothing while I would wear something cheap but still comfortable. My dad is quite focused on his work and would then stay out late drinking with his buddies. Mother has a horrible spending habit. Sadly stated, she has no impulse control. The concept of saving is nothing to her because why would she? My sister also has a similar problem and add to the fact that she is the typical image of a mean girl of the school, with her lying to others, painting her image of a perfect, rich life that she just wished she would have. And my brother? He is a typical playboy who has a different girl every other week. I oftentimes find myself pitying the girls he would bring home because they always thought they are the ones for him until he is left alone. He would oftentimes complain to his friends about the flaws of the girls he brings home with. It's not their fault that these girls have flaws. They still remain pretty to me despite all these obvious flaws.
Me? I would worry about my grades and would attend academic and art competitions left and right. I would win most of the competitions that I attended. I even snagged a well-known international competition. Yet I would know that none of my family members are aware of it, seeing as I still have yet to land in the 'Missing Person' report. The rewards that I earned from the competition are used for the future funds that I set up, not that anyone knows about it. My sister is aware of the funds and would always threaten ask me about the reward fund for her personal endeavors. Don't worry, I always rejected her. She would then blame me for the mistakes that she made, thus, people seeing me as the clumsy adopted daughter. Then, when given the reason, they would always hit me, somewhere where the marks and bruises left won't obviously be seen in public.
This went on for years, making me desensitized about the emotional and physical pain I would feel from the abuse that they inflicted on me. I then question my existence numerous times. I would then spend less time at home, making them mad but do I care? I would roam around town, sometimes stopping by the library. My life is totally a routine by now; wake-up and prepare for school, prepare food for a bunch of people in the house because they are too lazy to do household chores, go to school, roam around town or do homework at the public library, head home and do chores, sleep.
High school then passed by and college arrived. I picked the one outside of the country and made sure I informed them about it. Hell rained on but I don't give a damn about it now that I can leave this family if it even is called that. I left no regrets that night and I am still glad that I did it.
College was a bliss, despite the difficulty of the subject, because I can now actually focus on feeling happy again. To me, college is my savior, a remedy even. I found myself again, now that I am away from those people that I called family. I found joy, peace, and love.
Years pass and I graduated, earning a degree in Law and International Studies, thus I then worked as a Diplomat. I then became an Ambassador to my home country, as I have earned the citizenship of the country that I went to college to. I almost forgot about my "family" until I am now confronted by them once again, asking for favors left and right. They looked different as if time did well for them in the slightest. My father looked old and so is my mom, my sister looked like a typical middle-class woman that wore the fake designer outfit to fit in the high regale status, and my brother now looks like he did well in his life but felt like it still isn't enough. Instead of ignoring them just like what my past self would do, I looked at them, giving them my full attention. I gathered all the confidence that I had that I should thank the gods for because I desperately needed it to make peace.
"I thought I told you already, I wish to be left alone, similar to how I would leave you all alone." I stated confidently. They protested but I stood firm. "We raised you, we gave you a home. Is this what you repay us?" My mother asked, acting as if she was in the right and I was in the wrong. I looked at them in the eye and told them that I will never, ever give in to their demands, similar to how they never gave in to my demand. "I believe, that concludes this meeting ladies, gentlemen." I then declared as I then asked my assistant to show them to the exit, already feeling a burst of emotions due to the confrontation that I had with my biological family. "Do you have no remorse over your own family? Do you have no regrets?" My sister asked, reeking of desperation. I then looked at her in the eye and stated with finality,
"I already left with no regrets in the past, what makes you think I regret what I am doing now?"
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sportsandsongs · 4 years
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Best Songs of 2019
My annual list of favourite songs of the year. Apparently I haven’t published anything on this blog since last year’s list - should probably at least be backing up all my Petes columns here.
Anyway, as usual, a mostly indie rock centered list but it was a really excellent year for music, in my opinion. Great songs from some of my all time favourites like PUP, Spoon, The Hold Steady and Foals, continued huge signs of promise from newer bands like The Regrettes, Charly Bliss, Billie Eilish, Big Thief and of course the odd pop banger finds it way in here from Lizzo, Post Malone, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry and the like as well. Playlist below
1.     PUP - Scorpion Hill
2.     The Regrettes - I Dare You
3.     Vampire Weekend - Harmony Hall
4.     Sharon Van Etten - Seventeen
5.     Charly Bliss - Young Enough
6.     Big Thief - Not
7.     The Hold Steady - Blackout Sam
8.     Broken Bells - Good Luck
9.     Billie Eilish - bad guy
10.   Local Natives - When Am I Gonna Lose You
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11.   Lana Del Rey - The greatest
12.   Foals - In Degrees
13.   Operators - Strange
14.   Eliza & The Delusionals - Just Exist
15.   Spoon - No Bullets Spent
16.   Lizzo - Truth Hurts
17.   Mallrat - Groceries
18.   Taylor Swift - You Need To Calm Down
19.   Bleached - Hard to Kill
20.   Tame Impala – Borderline
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21.   Silversun Pickups - It Doesn't Matter Why
22.   Aldous Harding - The Barrel
23.   Post Malone - Circles
24.   Mallrat - Charlie
25.   Clairo - Bags
26.   Lana Del Rey - Fuck it I love you
27.   Bon Iver - Hey, Ma
28.   Alex Lahey - Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself
29.   PUP - Kids
30.   Vampire Weekend – Sympathy
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31.   The New Pornographers - Colossus Of Rhodes
32.   The Strumbellas - Salvation
33.   FIDLAR - By Myself
34.   Operators - I Feel Emotion
35.   City and Colour - Strangers
36.   Coldplay - Orphans
37.   FONTAINES D.C. - Big
38.   HAIM - Now I'm In It
39.   The Head and the Heart - Missed Connection
40.   Cage The Elephant - Ready To Let Go
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41.   The Raconteurs - Help Me Stranger
42.   Better Oblivion Community Center - Dylan Thomas
43.   Charly Bliss - Hard to Believe
44.   DIIV - Blankenship
45.   Foals - Exits
46.   Tones and I - Dance Monkey
47.   Lana Del Rey - Doin' Time
48.   PUP - Free At Last
49.   Stella Donnelly - Tricks
50.   Courtney Barnett - Everybody Here Hates You
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51.   Catfish and the Bottlemen - Longshot
52.   Orville Peck - Turn To Hate
53.   Operators - Faithless
54.   Tame Impala - Posthumous Forgiveness
55.   Metronomy - Salted Caramel Ice Cream
56.   Sofi Tukker - Purple Hat
57.   Hollerado - One Last Time
58.   The Band CAMINO - Daphne Blue
59.   King Princess - Hit the Back
60.   Katy Perry - Never Really Over
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61.   Charly Bliss - Capacity
62.   Bon Iver - Naeem
63.   The Beaches - Snake Tongue
64.   American Football - Uncomfortably Numb (feat. Hayley Williams)
65.   girl in red - bad idea!
66.   Carly Rae Jepsen - Want You In My Room
67.   Mannequin Pussy - Drunk II
68.   White Reaper - Might Be Right
69.   Craig Finn - Blankets
70.   The Black Keys - Shine A Little Light
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71.   Sturgill Simpson - Mercury In Retrograde
72.   Two Door Cinema Club - Once
73.   Alex Lahey - Am I Doing It Right?
74.   Caroline Polachek - So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings
75.   The Coathangers - Bimbo
76.   Pinegrove - Phase
77.   The Highwomen - Highwomen
78.   The New Pornographers - The Surprise Knock
79.   Catfish and the Bottlemen - 2all
80.   Middle Kids - Real Thing
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81.   The Mountain Goats - Sicilian Crest
82.   Cold War Kids - Complainer
83.   The Lumineers - Life In The City
84.   Dave Monks - Don't Go Falling To Pieces
85.   Lizzo - Juice
86.   Tegan and Sara - I'll Be Back Someday
87.   FKA twigs - Cellophane
88.   The Strumbellas - I'll Wait
89.   Stand Atlantic - Lavender Bones
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90.   Hatchie - Stay With Me
91.   Wintersleep - Into The Shape Of Your Heart
92.   The Darcys - Better Days
93.   Big Thief - UFOF
94.   Jonas Brothers - Only Human
95.   The Glorious Sons - Kingdom In My Heart
96.   Jade Bird - I Get No Joy
97.   James Blake, Travis Scott - Mile High
98.   Wilco - Everyone Hides
99.   Sunflower Bean - King Of The Dudes
100. Jenny Lewis - Red Bull & Hennessy
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alexandr-searching · 7 years
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heaven on earth
79 degrees, summer, Michigan, sprinkling rain, pink skies, cloudy twilight, thunderstorms rolling in the distance, a quite earth, a pipe, solace, lighting bugs dancing and flickering above the grass, an old dog barking, ashes smoldering, an indescribable moment; bliss
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ebizworldwide · 7 years
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Study: The Unintended Consequences of Gender Stereotypes and Transparency in the Employee Selection Process
As Francis Bacon placed it, "understanding is power." However when it concerns the effects of openness in the worker variety procedure, a brand-new research suggests that possibly lack of knowledge is bliss-- at the very least for some.
Many hiring supervisors and examination administrators make use of openness the ability choice process-- giving candidates with info regarding the subject issue of their analysis beforehand-- in an attempt to level the playing field amongst candidates.
However, recent searchings for in the International Journal of Choice and also Assessment challenge the presumption that this openness actually does boost fairness.
In their research study, "Unexpected Effects of Transparency During Employee Option: Benefitting some prospects, however damaging others?", writers Vanessa Jacksch and Ute-Christine Klehe discuss the unfavorable impacts openness in the evaluation process could carry candidates who are the targets of specific stereotypes.
The research study concentrates on two research studies. The first research goes over the differing effects of openness on males versus women in connection with preparing and also management abilities assessments, and also the 2nd research talks about the role of stigma awareness in relationship to the loved one performance of males and also females in the skill variety process.
Study 1: The Influence of Stereotype Hazard in the Talent Purchase Process
In the initial research study, a stereotype "consists of a target (i.e., a social team) and also a certain content, quality, domain name, or other factor that the fashion courts." In order for stereotype hazard to take place, people should remain in a circumstance where they wish to do well, and in which they are being compared with others, as well as the stereotype requires to be prominent about that individual's social group.
While interviewers do not commonly tell prospects outright regarding a fashion concerning their specific social group, refined cues offer a strong fashion risk as well as can prevent efficiency equally as much, and also possibly trigger members of the target stereotype seem like the odd man out.
Examples of subtle signs in prospect assessment circumstances include:
Being the only lady amongst male individuals while completing possibly gender-sensitive product, like a mathematics test
Having a participant of the comparison group administer the examination (i.e., a male proctor when ladies are taking a mathematics test)
Additionally, notifying individuals about the content of a test is a subtle hint that can influence lead to the context of an assessment.
Method
Researchers selected 177 participants, 107 of which were female. Individuals filled up out a short online survey relating to whether they assume a gender stereotype exists within society regarding the performance measurements planning and also leadership. Both man as well as female participants suggested they did not feel there was a particular stereotype relating to the dimension of preparation, yet that they really felt there was a leadership stereotype concerning ladies as worse leaders compared to men.
Participants participated in an individually workers variety training where they played the role of a customer care rep in a healthcare facility emergency space. Each individual interacted with online patients, responding to questions and reacting to a variety of situations.
The individuals were divided into 3 teams, one team got directions that didn't disclose the nature of the dimensions being tested, an additional group was notified their preparing skills would be examined, and also the 3rd team was notified their leadership skills would be assessed.
A educated experimenter noted the efficiency of the prospects, trying to find examples of preferred and undesirable habits agent of both management and planning.
Desirable features of preparing included:
Ability to set priorities
Ability to structure details correctly
The ability to develop as well as get an understanding of the situation
Desirable attributes of leadership consisted of:
Participants’ assertiveness
Emotional stability
Stress resistance
Decisiveness
Results of Study 1
The research study showed that while openness on the measurement of preparation was advantageous to both male and female prospects, openness on the measurement of leadership had an adverse impact on women's performance, however not that of male participants.
Study 2: The Impacts of Stigma Consciousness in the Skill Choice Process
Some 24 percent of all leading positions in business throughout the globe are held by women. Eventually, these females were able to show remarkable management skills showing they were the best suitable for the position, recommending that while the efficiency of some participants of a certain social team could be impacted by stereotypes, others may not.
The second study concentrated on the impacts of preconception awareness among males and women in the skill option process in relation to leadership skills.
Method
This research proposed that a higher degree of openness around the "leadership" measurement will certainly create ladies to score greater on preconception consciousness.
In the study:
79 progressed university students and graduates took part in a 1-day evaluation establishment training
53 of them were females
46 % already held a bachelor's or professional degree
19% held a master’s degree
5% held a Ph.D.
Participants were split into two groups. The variable team was notified their leadership abilities would certainly be analyzed, while the control group was not given with this information.
During the research study, group participants participated in a four-person leaderless seminar asking them to choose a new worker from a checklist of 8 possible candidates. Each specific participant was given a set of guidelines the group as a whole needed to adhere to, in addition to a concealed profile including pertinent details regarding the candidates they were to pick from. Each specific received different, yet just as pertinent info concerning the prospects in the swimming pool from which they were selecting.
Results of Study 2
Members of the control team with nontransparent directions did not experience a significant effect on management performance. Nonetheless, in the team that obtained transparent directions, both sex and also preconception awareness were considerable predictors of leadership performance. Recognition of fashions not just impacted the targeted group (ladies) however it also influenced males. Females that were even more mindful of the stereotype oftened carry out even more improperly, while males who were conscious of the stereotype tended to perform better.
Summary: The Greater the Knowledge, the Greater the Doubt
Though transparency has often been seen as a method to level the having fun area among prospects in the ability analysis procedure, this study shows that such transparency can lead to benefits to specific social groups that are anything however fair.
The study suggests that employers who remain in the process of choosing an applicant for a duty typically controlled by men ought to bear in mind that openness of particular dimensions could weaken the performance of minority female candidates readily available, while improving the performance of the male prospects. This would accidentally perpetuate a vast sex void in the talent option process.
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schizopagan · 7 years
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Get to know me... 1) Sexuality? Complicated and unhealthy 
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Brandon Boyd
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "-nam War Memorial in Washington D.C. In this very powerful and moving place,"
4) What do you think about most? Freedom from my abuser
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? "Pravastatin and lock top lock and close door glass"
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With clothes on 
7) What’s your strangest talent? Catching things that suddenly fall before they hit the ground 
8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Girls are pretty fucking awesome. Boys can be awesome too, I just wish they were nice.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? I wrote a poem about myself in junior high. I was a Christian then. Paint walls white Shut windows tight Feel the room cold as the night Sit still and blow out the light Plunge into abyss Kick down door Trip, fall to floor Lay there, stay there, move no more Be the fool just as before No better than this Must defeat Must rise to meet Bright face shining, peace complete Strength to help thee to thy feet Break from killer's kiss Shining face shall show thee grace Walk with thee at steady pace Stay until you finish race Welcome you to bliss.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I don't think I ever have.
11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a phobia of being on the phone.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? I stuck a small ball up my nose when I was little. Thankfully, it occurred to me to blow it out.
13) What’s your religion? I don't have a religion exactly, but I am into Witchcraft.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Checking on/watering my plants, or watching the dog
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind the camera, definitely
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Coheed & Cambria. They got me through some seriously hard times.
17) What was the last lie you told? I'm fine.
18) Do you believe in karma? Mmm...I don't know. I think it's hard to obtain evidence of karma, but it's a possibility.
19) What does your URL mean? I have schizoaffective disorder, and I'm a relatively new Pagan.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness I can think of is fear of people. I don't know that I have any strengths, other than that I'm still holding on.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? It changes from time to time, but currently it's Kim Namjoon, a Korean rapper. He's not that pretty really, but I love the sound of his voice.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Nope
23) How do you vent your anger? I hold it in because I can't take it when someone gets mad at me, even if I think I'm right.
24) Do you have a collection of anything? I collect toys that I find laying around.
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both freak me the fuck out, but if I had to choose I'd pick the phone.
26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I'm happier than I was when I was a Christian, but I'm not sure that really answers the question. I guess I'll say I may be getting there.
27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of my abuser's voice. I love the sound of good melodies and harmonies.
28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I'm stuck living with my abuser for the rest of my life?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts are a possibility, but I've never met one. I do believe in aliens. I think the universe is just too damn vast to have life only on earth.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My right arm just feels the air from my fan. My left arm touches the northern wall of my room.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? I smell my own BO, I haven't had a shower in 3 weeks.
32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? The King's Academy, where I went to school from Kindergarten to 9th grade
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? I've never been to the west coast, so I'm stuck with the east coast. I live in south Florida.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Do Kyungsoo, another Korean. He may be short, but I do not care. He's beautiful to me, and his voice is amazing.
35) To you, what is the meaning of life? It varies from being to being.
36) Define Art. Definition 1) expression of one's feelings. Definition 2) depiction of one's surroundings. That's about the best I can do, although I get the feeling my definitions fall short.
37) Do you believe in luck? That's a tough one, I really don't know.
38) What’s the weather like right now? 78 degrees, no real breeze, skies partly cloudy 
39) What time is it? 2:23am
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, and yes. But it was the other girl's fault. I was driving the speed limit going straight through a green light, and the other girl was on the other side making a left turn. She didn't have an arrow, so she was supposed to wait for me. But she didn't see me, and started making her turn when I was right up on her. I slammed the brakes, but it was too late. 
41) What was the last book you read? Striped Ice Cream by Joan M. Lexau 
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes
43) Do you have any nicknames? Chrissy, Spoo Pooka, Poota, Buttons, Christal Louise
44) What was the last movie you saw? Babies. Such a cute movie
45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Just a knee scrape
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kpop
48) What’s your sexual orientation? I don't quite know...? Like I do find some people attractive, but I have no interest whatsoever in sexual intercourse. 
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yeah, back in middle school I had a rumor spread about me that I was in love with one of my friends. I'm black and he was white, so it was kind of a big deal. Some people thought that the Bible said you weren't supposed to date outside your race, so it was really embarrassing.
50) Do you believe in magic? I've only tried very little, but I still lean toward yes.
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Not with the little things, like if someone ate my food, or borrowed something without asking, stuff like that. But deep pain that lasts for the rest of my life does not get forgiven.
52) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio
53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it
54) What’s the last thing you purchased? Just some food stuffs from Walmart 
55) Love or lust? Love please
56) In a relationship? I've never even been on a date.
57) How many relationships have you had? 0, big fat ostrich egg
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope
59) Where were you yesterday? Home all day
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Some pink underwear 
61) Are you wearing socks right now? Always, unless it's absolutely sweltering 
62) What’s your favorite animal? Cats, domestic and feral
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness 
64) Where is your best friend? You mean my older sister? Either at her house, or at her boyfriend's house
65) Spit or swallow?(; Spit or swallow what? Saliva? Swallow, I think spitting saliva is gross unless you have a cold and can't stop salivating.
66) What is your heritage? Well I'm basically African American, but I don't know what African country my ancestors were from. I was also told that my family has Cherokee in our blood, but I can't verify that.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I was either trying to sleep, or I was checking all my social media.
68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? According to Christianity, which I think is where Satan came from, he used to be an angel, and they didn't have last names. Or do you mean a human that I think is really evil? I couldn't choose just one.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? You can't ask me that!
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I suppose so, I think I'm alright.
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Assuming I can swim? Save the dog, of course! It's hard to imagine though, because dogs are generally good swimmers. Right?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I would probably end up telling my mom. I think I would just live my last days normally. I would only be afraid if death was going to be painful. I have a very low pain threshold.
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. I trust no one, so I guess I'll take love.
74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Between the Rent and Me by...Snowden? I forget who it's by.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Now why would you need to know that?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? I want trust, love, and longevity.
77) How can I win your heart? Smile at me genuinely in a way that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This tells me that I have your positive attention, and that you are not a threat. Give me a compliment that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This is just more normal-person treatment for me, and if I believe you it'll make me feel really good. Don't be a Christian, you will lose my trust immediately. Be somewhere in between smart and stupid. You can have a talent, but you better not be a genius. I could go on...
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Define "insanity" first.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Quitting Christianity 
80) What size shoes do you wear? 11
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Oh I don't care about that.
82) What is your favorite word? I like the sound of the word "androgynous".
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Break
84) What is a saying you say a lot? "Change is the only constant."
85) What’s the last song you listened to? BTS Cypher 4. Yes, it's Korean. 
86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Deep purple, and deep green
87) What is your current desktop picture? The Atlantic Ocean 
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? My abuser
89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Number 69
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Pass out
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Invisibility 
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The moment when I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I erase my whole childhood? Oh wait no, wouldn't wanna erase the day I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class...
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I don't want to have sex so...if we were just going to have a slumber party I guess I'd give Brandon Boyd a shot.
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? NYC. Can I take my sister?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? My uncle went to jail once. If I remember correctly, he was trying to steal some sea turtle eggs.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes, but it wasn't car sickness, it was having taken my antipsychotic without food.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yes
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Good morning! My name is Christal B- and I'm looking for a friend. I am: schizoaffective, a budding Witch, black, shy, introverted, in school part time pursuing an AS in Environmental Science, unemployed, living with my parents, a little chubby, 5'7", punkish, emotionally sensitive, and overall fairly decent I would say. I have: a learning disability, athsma, a car, no pets, and no children. I like: plants, animals (wild and domestic), food, books, traveling, MUSIC, clothes, art, and thunderstorms. I dislike: sports, sex, drugs, and alcohol. I'm serious. I'd like you to be: kind, understanding, reasonably intelligent, and interested in some of the same things. If you have any questions please ask, and if you think we might get along please contact me. I can be found on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr. Thank you for taking the time to listen, and have a wonderful day.
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albinohare · 5 years
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BVI Bliss
The author’s chartered Aquila 44 approaches Sandy Spit, a sandbar just off Jost Van Dyke. (Zach Stovall/)
I have showered open-airon the stern at daybreak. I have seen gleaming white yachts in sizes ranging from humble to mega; some with sails, some without, and some on which sails could be put, but the owner couldn’t be bothered to do so. I have seen clouds alight in a Pantone guide’s worth, only to be mirrored by a metallic, ­shimmering sea.
My quartet of shipmates from Tennessee and I have taken a weeklong hiatus from our day jobs to live out the lyrics of any country song involving boats and sand here in the British Virgin Islands. On this sunny, 83-degree day—as every day ­promises to be here—our Caribs are going down cold and the radio is cranked on the flybridge of Jewel Box, a brawny, three-stateroom Aquila 44 powercat from MarineMax Vacations.
She’s pointed toward Virgin Gorda while on our circuitous route through green hills that rise forth from turquoise waters.
From Left: The 3-foot-3-inch draft (top) helps in skinny water and the is 44 easy for a couple to handle (bottom). The Baths are a BVI must-do. (Zach Stovall/)
At the helm sits Parker, a distinguished man who would not look out of place with epaulets on his shirt. His wife, Karen, is our resident snorkel goddess, and he is flanked by Matt and Milka, a couple contractually obligated to blend pina coladas to perfection. I am the fifth wheel, pressed into service as first-assistant buoy wrangler.
We tie up outside Spanish Town, teeing us up to be the first at daybreak to grab a coveted mooring ball at The Baths, the country’s most recognizable natural wonder. We then celebrate our orientation aboard Jewel Box and first full day of BVI bareboating with sundowners at CocoMaya, a chic South Beach-inspired restaurant on the sand, and a must-see on any BVI cruise.
The next morning, I awake to Jewel Box‘s twin Volvo Pentas cranking all 520 horses, propelling us past the Club Med 2, a boutique cruise ship that just anchored, determined to inundate languorous beaches with acres of sun-seeking tourists. We quickly ready our snorkeling gear and dry bags, intent to swim ashore and have the granite grottoes mostly to ourselves. The boulders, rounded like giant river rocks, are piled at the edge of the sea. The experience of ­exploring their intimate passages is majestic, especially before the rest of the day’s sightseer rush begins.
Clockwise from top left: Fresh Anegada lobster. Hiking in The Baths. Snorkeling at Norman Island. Pina Coladas on the hook. Cruising off Jost Van Dyke. (Zach Stovall/)
Our next stop is Anegada, where, looking to beat the tour groups on land too, we rent a Suzuki at the Anegada Beach Club. “Drive on the left. Keep it under 30. We have wild cows, wild sheep, wild donkeys and wild people. They all roam freely,” club owner Lawrence Wheatley says.
Regarded by some as the British Virgin Islands’ sleepy stepsister, Anegada’s an outlier not only for its physical distance from the chain, but also for its flat, featureless silhouette on the horizon. The 15-mile run from our overnight spot at Leverick Bay took an hour and 40 minutes, by Parker’s count.
After navigating the ship-swallowing reef that ­encircles the island, we’re hungry for a lobster lunch, which was promised to Matt and Milka long before we set foot in the BVI. Passing more cows than cars, we land at Big Bamboo on Loblolly Bay, a 10-mile ribbon of gleaming white sand fronted by the reef where our lunch once lived. As we wait for the lobsters to grill, we occupy ourselves with chilled Caribs and swing in woven chairs hung from seagrape trees.
Alas, even in paradise, we eventually have to press onward.
The view from Norman Island overlooking The Bight in the British Virgin Islands. (Zach Stovall/)
Next is Jost Van Dyke, where Matt, Parker and I stare at the last mooring ball, which is missing part of its pennant. Matt and I call “not it” to swim to the buoy and secure the boat. We surely have ­onlookers: A flotilla is anchored stern-to the sand, with skippers as eager to enjoy White Bay Beach as we are. A string of bars known for rum punch and cornhole is just above the high-water mark. There’s Seddy’s One Love, Ivan’s Stress-Free Bar and, of course, the Soggy Dollar, where Painkillers (the cocktail, not the pills) have eased seafarers’ ails for decades.
Our time sipping Painkillers under the palms is short, but effective, as Parker notes many other charters have cut and run for Peter Island’s Great Harbour, a protected overnight anchorage minutes away. We follow suit, having a New York-style pizza on the beach, and later listening to a chorus of cocktail-inspired karaoke drift across from Foxy’s Tamarind Bar while we watch shooting stars flash over Jewel Box‘s bow.
Clockwise from top left: Cocktails at Big Bamboo Bar on Anegada. Hiking on Norman Island. Rum punch at Corsair’s Beach Bar on Jost Van Dyke. (Zach Stovall/)
Come daylight, I take the wheel from Jost to Norman Island for a snorkeling excursion. The afternoon involves welcomed laziness, followed by a hike up the spine of the island, where we admire a red sun sinking behind the rolling hills of St. John’s. The next morning we end our week at The Indians: four pinnacles of rock, like icebergs, hiding more below the surface than above. Karen leads us on our most epic snorkel yet, along a healthy reef teeming with blue tangs, sergeant majors, parrotfish and coral.
Afterward, we end our carefree week of breathe-easy British Virgin Islands cruising and cocktail-infusion ­therapy at the base back in Tortola, and we thank ­Jewel Box for giving us an up-close look at this ­seafarer’s paradise. Happily tired, sandy and ­sunburned, I think, Sometimes it’s good to be the fifth wheel.
Getting There
Connecting to the MarineMax Vacations base on Tortola’s Beef Island is easiest via puddle jumper, like those from San Juan, Puerto Rico, aboard Cape Air or Seaborne Airlines. An alternative route through St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands, with a connecting ferry to Road Town on Tortola, is less expensive, but expect long lines at Customs and Immigration.
The Fine Print
MarineMax offers several power catamarans from its BVI base for bareboat, captained or crewed charter. One option is all-inclusive (with a captain, chef/deckhand, food, snacks, drinks, spirits, kayaks, a stand-up paddleboard, mooring-ball fees, taxes and insurance). Another is a la carte with a captain and chef. Or take the boat yourself, like we did. The vessels range from a two-stateroom 36-footer to a four-stateroom 48-footer. Bareboats charters like ours start at $1,287 and go up to $1,785 per night ($429 to $595 per stateroom).
Room to Breathe
The Aquila 44 is one of five power catamarans in the builder’s line, ranging from 32 to 48 feet length overall. Our version had three staterooms and three heads, making her a good option for couples who want to share the charter without anyone feeling like he’s stuck in a kiddie cabin. The master stateroom’s berth measures 71 inches wide by 79 inches long, or about the size of a queen; guest stateroom berths are 59 inches wide by 79 inches long. The salon’s seating converts into a single berth. A smart feature is the hinged window that opens the galley to the cockpit bar, to serve guests easily inside and outside.
If this Hull Could Talk
Her hold is laden with dark rum and darker secrets of those who have stayed long after sunset. The Willy T is the floating bar of Caribbean lore, but adrift for permanent anchorage because of a government dispute after her grounding in Hurricane Irma. Temporarily in Peter Island’s Great Harbour, her stern bar still serves up stories to remember.
Take the next step: marinemax.com/vacations
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aikipoet-blog · 5 years
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THE CANTERBURY TALES
A MINIMALIST TRANSLATION
Forrest Hainline
GENERAL PROLOGUE
1          When that April with his shower’s sweet
2          The drought of March has pierced to the root,
3          And bathed every vein in such liquor
4          Of which virtue engendered is the flower;
5          When Zephirus too with his sweet breath
6          Inspired has in every holt and heath
7         The tender crops, and the young sun
8          Has in the Ram his half course run,
9          And small fowls making melody,
10        That sleep all the night with open eye
11        (So pricks them Nature in their courage) :
12        Then long folk to go on pilgrimage
13        And palmers for to seek strange strands,
14        To foreign hallways, known in sundry lands;
15        And specially, from every shire's end
16        Of England, to Canterbury they wend,
17        The holy blissful martyr for to seek
18        That them has helped, when that they were sick.
19        Befell that in that season on a day,
20        In Southwerk at the Tabarad as I lay
21        Ready to go on my pilgrimage 22        To Canterbury with full devout courage,
23        At night was come into that hostelry
24        Well nine and twenty in a company 25        Of sundry folk, by adventure to fall
26        In fellowship, and pilgrims were they all,
27        That toward Canterbury would ride.
28        The chambers and the stables were wide,
29        And well we were eased at best.
30        And shortly, when the sun was to rest,
31        So had I spoken with them everyone,
32        That I was of their fellowship anon,
33        And made forward early for to rise,
34        To take our way there as I you devise.
35        But nonetheless, while I have time and space,
36        Ere that I further in this tale pace,
37        Me thinks it according to reason,
38        To tell you all the condition
39        Of each of them, so as it seemed me,
40        And which they were, and of what degree,
41        And eek in what array that they were in;
42        And at a knight then will I first begin.
43        A knight there was, and that a worthy man
44        That from the time that he first began
45        To ride out, he loved chivalry,
46        Truth and honor, freedom and courtesy,
47        Full worthy was he in his lord's war,
48        And thereto had he ridden, no man as far,
49        As well in Christendom as in heatheness,
50        And ever honored for his worthiness.
51        At Alexander he was when it was won;
52        Full oft time he had the board begun
53        Above all nations in Prussia;
54        In Lithuania had he raised and in Russia,
55        No Christian man so oft of his degree;
56        In Grenada at the siege too had he be
57        Of Algezir, and ridden in Belmarie;
58        At Ayas was he and at Attalie,   59        When they were won, and in the Great Sea
60        At many a noble army had he be.
61        At mortal battles had he been fifteen,
62        And fought for our faith at Tlemcen
63        In lists thrice, and aye slain his foe.
64        This same worthy knight had been also
65        Sometime with the lord of Paletey
66        Against another heathen in Turkey:
67        And evermore he had a sovereign prize.
68        And though that he were worthy, he was wise,
69        And of his port as meek as is a maid.
70        He never yet any villainy said
71        In all of his life, unto no manner wight.
72        He was a very perfect, gentle knight.
73        But for to tell you of his array,
74        His horse was good, but he was not gay.
75        Of fustian he wore a gipon
76        All bespattered with his habergeon;
77        For he was lately come from his voyage,
78        And went for to do his pilgrimage.
79        With him there was his son, a young Squire,
80        A lover, and a lusty bachelor,
81        With locks curly as they were laid in press,
82        Of twenty year of age he was, I guess.
83        Of his stature he was of even length,
84        And wondrously delivered, and of great strength.
85        And he had been sometime in cavalry,
86        In Flanders, in Artois, and Picardy,
87        And born him well, as of so little space,
88        In hope to stand in his lady's grace.
89        Embroidered was he, as it were a meadow
90        All full of fresh flowers, white and red.
91        Singing he was, or fluting, all the day;
92        He was as fresh as is the month of May.
93        Short was his gown, with sleeves long and wide.
94        Well could he sit on horse, and fair ride.
95        He could songs make and well endite,
96        Joust and dance too, and well portray and write.
97        So hot he loved that by nighter-tale
98        He sleeps no more than doth a nightingale.
99        Courteous he was, lowly, and serviceable,
100      And carved before his father at the table.
101      A Yeoman had he, and servants no more
102      At that time, for he pleased to ride so; 103      And he was clad in coat and hood of green;
104      A sheaf of peacock arrows bright and keen
105      Under his belt he bore full thriftily;
106      Well could he dress his tackle yeomanly:
107      His arrows drooped not with feathers low;
108      And in his hand he bore a mighty bow.
109      A knot-head had he, with a brown visage.
110      Of woodcraft well could he all the usage.
111      Upon his arm he bore a gay bracer,
112      And by his side a sword and a buckler,
113      And on that other side a gay dagger,
114      Harnessed well, and sharp as point of spear;
115      A Christopher on his breast of silver sheen;
116      A horn he bore, the baldric was of green.
117      A forester he was, truly as I guess.
118      There was also a Nun, a Prioress,
119      That of her smiling was full simple and coy.
120      Her greatest oath was but by Saint Loy;
121      And she was called Madame Eglantine.
122      Full well she sang the service divine,
123      Intoned in her nose full seemly;
124     And French she spoke full fair and fetisly,
125      After the school of Stratford at the Bowe,
126      For French of Paris was to her unknow.
127      At meat well taught was she withal;
128      She let no morsel from her lips fall,
129      Nor wet her fingers in her sauce deep.
130      Well could she carry a morsel, and well keep,
131      That no drop would fall upon her breast.
132      In courtesy was set full much her lest.
133      Her over-lip wiped she so clean
134      That in her cup there was no farthing seen
135      Of grease, when she drunk had her draft.
136      Full seemly after her meat she raft,
137      And certainly she was of great disport,
138      And full pleasant, and amiable of port,
139      And pained her to counterfeit cheer
140      Of court, and be stately of manner
141      And to be held worthy of reverence.
142      But for to speak of her conscience,
143      She was so charitable and so piteous
144      She would weep, if that she saw a mouse
145      Caught in a trap, if it were dead or bled.
146      Of small hounds had she, that she fed
147      With roasted flesh, or milk and wastel-bread.
148      But sore wept she if one of them were dead,
149      Or if men smote it with a yard smart:
150      And all was conscience and tender heart.
151      Full seemly her wimple pinched was;
152      Her nose tretis, her eyes gray as glass;
153      Her mouth full small, and thereto soft and red.
154      But certainly she had a fair forehead;
155      It was almost a span broad, I trow;
156      For hardily, she was not under grow.
157      Full fetis was her cloak, as I was ware.
158      Of small coral about her arm she bare
159      A pair of beads, gauded all with green,
160      And thereon hung a brooch of gold full sheen,
161      On which there was first writ a crowned A,
162      And after, amor vincit omnia.
163      Another nun with her had she,
164      That was her chaplain, and priests three.
165      A Monk there was, a fair for the mastery,
166      An outrider, that loved venery,
167      A manly man, to be an abbot able.
168      Full many a dainty horse had he in stable,
169      And when he rode, men might his bridle hear
170      Jingling in a whistling wind all clear
171      And too as loud as doth the chapel bell
172      There as this lord was keeper of the cell.
173      The rule of Saint Maure or of Saint Benedict -
174      Because that it was old and somewhat strict
175      This same monk let old things pass,
176      And held after the new world the space.
177      He gave not of that text a pulled hen,
178      That says that hunters be not holy men,
179      Nor that a monk, when he is reckless,
180      Is likened to a fish that is waterless -
181      This is to say, a monk out of his cloister.
182      But that text held he not worth an oyster;
183      And I said his opinion was good.
184      What should he study and make himself wood,
185      Upon a book in cloister always to pour,
186      Or swink with his hands, and labor,
187      As Austin bid?  How shall the world be served?
188      Let Austin have his swink to him reserved!
189      Therefore he was a pricasour aright:
190      Greyhounds he had as swift as fowl in flight;
191      Of pricking and of hunting the hare
192      Was all his lust, for no cost would he spare.
193      I saw his sleeves purfled at the hand
194      With gray, and that the finest of the land;
195      And for to fasten his hood under his chin,
196      He had of gold wrought a full curious pin;
197      A love knot in the greater end there was.
198      His head was bald, that shone as any glass,
199      And too his face, as he had been anoint.
200      He was a lord full fat and in good point;
201      His eyes steep, and rolling in his head,
202      That steamed as a furnace of lead;
203      His boots supple, his horse in great estate.
204      Now certainly he was a fair prelate;
205      He was not pale as a forpined ghost.
206      A fat swan he loved best of any roast.
207      His palfrey was as brown as is a berry.
208      A Friar there was, a wanton and a merry,
209      A limiter, a full solemn man.
210      In all the orders four there is none that can
211      So much of dalliance and fair language.
212      He had made full many a marriage
213      Of young women at his own cost.
214      Unto his order he was a noble post.
215      Full well beloved and familiar was he
216      With franklins over all in his country,
217      And too with worthy women of the town;
218      For he had power of confession,
219      As said himself, more than a curate,
220      For of his order he was licentiate.
221      Full sweetly heard he confession,
222      And pleasant was his absolution:
223      He was an easy man to give penance,
224      There as he knew to have a good pittance.
225      For unto a poor order for to give
226      Is sign that a man is well shrive;
227      For if he gave, he dared make avaunt,
228      He knew that a man was repentant;
229      For many a man so hard is of his heart,
230      He may not weep, although him sorely smart.
231      Therefore instead of weeping and prayers
232      Men must give silver to the poor friars.
233      His tippet was ay farsed full of knives
234      And pins, for to give young wives.
235      And certainly he had a merry note:
236      Well could he sing and play on a rote;
237      Of yeddings he bore utterly the prize.
238      His neck white was as the flour-de-lys;
239      Thereto he strong was as a champion.
240      He knew the taverns well in every town
241      And every hosteler and tappester,
242      Better than a lazar or a begster,
243      For unto such a worthy man as he
244      Accorded not, as by his faculty,
245      To have with sick lazars acquaintance.
246      It is not honest, it may not advance,
247      For to deal with no such porail,
248      But all with rich and sellers of victual.
249      And over all, there as profit should arise,
250      Courteous he was and lowly of service;
251      There’s no man nowhere so virtuous.
252      He was the best beggar in his house;
252a    [And gave a certain fee for the grant;    
252a    None of his brethren came there in his haunt;]
253      For though a widow had not a shoe,
254      So pleasant was his “In principio, ”
255      Yet would he have a farthing, ere he went.
256      His purchase was well better than his rent.
257      And rage he could, as it were right a whelp.
258      In love days there could he much help,
259      For there he was not like a cloisterer
260      With a threadbare cope, as is a poor scholar,
261      But he was like a master or a pope.
262      Of double worsted was his semicope,
263      That rounded as a bell out of the press.
264      Somewhat he lisped, for his wantonness,
265      To make his English sweet upon his tongue;
266      And in his harping, when that he had sung,
267      His eyes twinkled in his head aright
268      As do the stars in the frosty night.
269      This worthy limiter was called Huberd.
270      A merchant was there with a forked beard,
271      In motley, and high on horse he sat;
272      Upon his head a Flanderish beaver hat,
273      His boots clasped fair and featously.
274      His reasons he spoke full solemnly,
275      Speaking always the increase of his winning.
276      He would the sea were kept for anything
277      Between Middleburgh and Orwell.
278      Well could he in exchange shields sell.
279      This worthy man full well his wit beset;
280      There knew no wight that he was in debt,
281      So stately was he of his governance
282      With his bargains and with his chevisance
283      For truth he was a worthy man withall,
284      But, truth to say, I know not how men him call.
285      A clerk there was of Oxford also,
286      That unto logic had long ago.
287      As lean was his horse as is a rake,
288      And he was not right fat, I undertake,
289      But looked hollow, and thereto soberly,
290      Full threadbare was his overest courtepy,
291      For he had gotten him yet no benefice,
292      Nor was so worldly for to have office.
293      For he was rather have at his bed’s head
294      Twenty books, clad in black or red,
295      Of Aristotle and his philosophy
296      Than robes rich, or fiddle, or gay psaltry.
297      But all be that he was a philosopher,
298      Yet had he but little gold in coffer;
299      But all that he might of his friends hent,
300      On books and on learning he it spent,
301      And busily gan for the soul’s prayer
302      Of them that gave him wherewith to scholar.
303      Of study took he most cure and most heed.
304      Not a word spoke he more than was need,
305      And that was said in form and reverence,
306      And short and quick and full of high sentence;
307      Sounding in moral virtue was his speech,
308      And gladly would he learn and gladly teach.
309      A Sergeant of the Law, aware and wise,
310      That often had been at the Parvise,
311      There was also, full rich of excellence.
312      Discreet he was and of great reverence –
313      He seemed such, his words were so wise.
314      Justice he was full often in assize,
315      By patent and by plain commission.
316      For his science and for his high renown,
317      Of fees and robes had he many a one.
318      So great a purchaser was nowhere none:
319      All was fee simple to him in effect;
320      His purchasing might not been infect.
321      Nowhere so busy a man as he there was,
322      And yet he seemed busier than he was.
323      In terms had he case and dooms all
324      That from the time of King William were fall.
325      Thereto he could endite and make a thing,
326      There could no wight pinch at his writing;
327      And every statute could he play by rote.
328      He rode but homely in a motley coat,
329      Girt with a seynt of silk, with bars small;
330      Of his array shall I no longer tell.
331      A Franklin was in his company.
332      White was his beard as is the daisy;
333      Of his complexion he was sanguine.
334      Well loved he by the morning a sup of wine;
335      To live in delight was ever his won,
336      For he was Epicurus’ own son,
337      That held opinion that plain delight
338      Was very felicity parfit.
339      A householder, and that a great, was he;
340      Saint Julian was he in his country.
341      His bread, his ale, was always after one;
342      A better envied man was nowhere known.
343      Without baked meat was never his house,
344      Of fish and flesh, and that so plenteous
345      It snowed in his house of meat and drink;
346      Of all dainties that men could think,
347      After the sundry seasons of the year,
348      So changed he his meat and his supper.
349      Full many a fat partridge had he in mew,
350      And many a bream and many a luce in stew.
351      Woe was his cook but if his sauce were
352      Poignant and sharp, and ready all his gear.
353      His table dormant in his hall alway
354      Stood ready covered all the long day.
355      At sessions there he was lord and sire;
356      Full oft time he was knight of the shire.
357      A dagger and a purse all of silk
358      Hung at his girdle, white as morning milk.
359      A sheriff had he been, an auditor.
360      Was nowhere such a worthy vavasour.
361      A Haberdasher and a Carpenter,
362      A Weaver, a Dyer, and a Tapisser –
363      And they were clothed all in a livery
364      Of a solemn and a great fraternity.
365      Full fresh and new their gear apiked was;
366      Their knives were mounted not with brass
367      But all with silver, wrought full clean and well,
368      Their girdles and their pouches everydell.
369      Well seemed each of them a fair burgess
370      To sit in a guildhall on a dais.
371      Each one, for the wisdom that he kan,
372      Was shapely for to be an alderman.
373      For cattle had they enough and rent,
374      And too their wives would it well assent
375      And else certain were they to blame.
376      It is full fair to have been called “madame, ”
377      And go to vigils all before,
378      And have a mantle royally bore.
379      A Cook they had with them for the nonce
380      To boil the chickens with the marrow bones,
381      And powdered marchant tart and galingale.
382      Well could he know a draft of London ale. 383      He could he roast, and seethe, and broil, and fry,
384      Makemortreux, and well bake a pie.
385      But great harm was it, as it thought me,
386      That on his shin, an ulcer had he.
387      For blancmanger, that made he with the best.
388      A Shipman was there, dwelling far by west;
389      For aught I know, he was of Dartmouth.
390      He rode upon a rouncy, as he couth,
391      In a gown of falding to the knee.
392      A dagger hanging on a laas had he
393      About his neck, under his arm adown.
394      The hot summer had made his hue all brown;
395      And certainly he was a good fellow.
396      Full many a draft of wine had he draw.
397      From Bordeaux-ward, while that the chapman sleep.
398      Of nice conscience took he no keep.
399      If that he fought and had the higher hand,
400      By water he sent them home to every land.
401      But of his craft to reckon well his tides,
402      His streams, and his dangers him besides,
403      His harbor, and his moon, his pilotage,
404      There was none such from Hull to Carthage.
405      Hardy he was and wise to undertake;
406      With many a tempest had his beard been shake.
407      He knew all the havens, as they were,
408      From Gotland to the cape of Finisterre,
409      And every creek in Brittany and in Spain.
410      His barge called was the Madelene.
411      With us there was A Doctor of Physic;
412      In all this world there was no one like him, 413      To speak of physic and of surgery,
414      For he was grounded in astronomy.
415      He kept his patient a full great deal
416      In hours, by his magic natural.
417      Well could he fortune the ascendant
418      Of his images for his patient.
419      He knew the cause of every malady,
420      Were it of hot, or cold, or moist, or dry,
421      And where they engendered, and of what humor.
422      He was a very, perfect practitioner:
423      The cause known, and of his harm the root,
424      Anon he gave the sick man his boot.
425      Full ready had he his apothecaries
426      To send him drugs and electuaries,
427      For each of them made other for to win –
428      Their friendship was not new to begin.
429      Well knew he the old Aesculapius,
430      And Dioscorides and too Rufus,
431      Old Hippocrates, Hali, and Galen,
432      Serapion, Rhazes, and Avicen,
433      Averroes, Damascene, and Constantine,
434      Bernard, and Gatisden, and Gilbertus.
435      Of his diet measurable was he,
436      For it was of no superfluity,
437      But of great nourishing and digestable.
438      His study was but little on the Bible.
439      In sanguine and in perse he clad was all,
440      Lined with taffeta and with sendal.
441      And yet he was but easy of dispense;
442      He kept that he won in pestilence.
443      For gold in physic is a cordial,
444      Therefore he loved gold in special.
445      A good Wife was there of beside Bath,
446      But she was somewhat deaf, and that was scathe.
447      Of cloth making she had such a haunt
448      She passed them of Ypres and of Ghent.
449      In all the parish wife was there none
450      That to the offering before her should go on;
451      And if they did, certain so wroth was she
452      That she was out of all charity.
453      Her coverchiefs full fine were of ground;
454      I dare swear they weighed ten pound
455      That on a Sunday were upon her head.
456      Her hose were of fine scarlet red,
457      Full straight tied, and shoes full moist and new.
458      Bold was her face, and fair, and red of hew.
459      She was a worthy woman all her life:
460      Husbands at church door she had five,
461      Without them other company in youth -
462      But there's no need to speak as now.
463      And thrice had she been at Jerusalem;
464      She had passed many a strange stream;
465      At Rome she had been, and at Boulogne,
466      In Galicia at Saint Jame, and at Cologne.
467      She could much of wandering by the way.
468      Gap-toothed was she, truly for to say.
469      Upon an ambler easily she sat,
470      Wimpled well, and on her head a hat
471      As broad as is a buckler or a targe;
472      A foot-mantle about her hips large,
473      And on her feet a pair of spurs sharp.
474      In fellowship well could she laugh and carp.
475      Of remedies of love she knew per chance,
476      For she knew of that art the old dance.
477      A good man was there of religion,
478      And was a poor Parson of a town,
479      But rich he was of holy thought and work.
480      He was also a learned man, a clerk,
481      That Christ’s Gospel truly would preach;
482      His parishioners devoutly would he teach.
483      Benign he was and wonder diligent,
484      And in adversity full patient,
485      And such he was proved oft times.
486      Full loathe was he to curse for his tithes,
487      But rather would he give, out of doubt,
488      Unto his poor parishioners about
489      Of his offering and too of his substance.
490      He could in little things have sufficience.
491      Wide was his parish, and houses far asunder,
492      But he left not, for rain or thunder,
493      In sickness nor in mischief to visit
494      The farthest in his parish, much and light,
495      Upon his feet, and in his hand a stave.
496      This noble example to his sheep he gave,
497      That first he wrought, and afterward he taught.
498      Out of the Gospel he those words caught,
499      And this figure he added eek thereto,
500      That if gold rust, what shall iron do?
501      For if a priest be foul, on whom we trust,
502      No wonder is a lewd man to rust;
503      And shame it is if a priest take keep,
504      A shitten shepherd and a clean sheep.
505      Well ought a priest example for to give,
506      By his cleanness, how that his sheep should live.
507      He set not his benefice to hire
508      And let his sheep encumbered in the mire
509      And ran to London unto Saint Paul’s
510      To seek him a chantry for souls,
511      Or with a brotherhood to be withhold;
512      But dwelt at home, and kept well his fold,
513      So that the wolf not make it miscarry;
514      He was a shepherd and not a mercenary.
515      And though he holy were and virtuous,
516      He was to sinful men not despitous,
517      Nor of his speech dangerous nor digne,
518      But in his teaching discreet and benign.
519      To draw folk to heaven by fairness,
520      By good example, this was his business.
521      But it were any person obstinate,
522      What so he were of high or low estate,
523      Him would he snib him sharply for the nonce.
524      A better priest I trust that nowhere none is.
525      He waited after no pomp and reverence,
526      Nor maked him a spiced conscience,
527      But Christ’s lore and his apostles twelve
528      He taught; but first he followed it himself.
529      With him there was a Plowman, was his brother,
530      That had hauled of dung full many a fother;
531      A true swinker and a good was he,
532      Living in peace and perfect charity.
533      God loved he best with all his whole heart
534      At all times, though him gamed or smarte,
535      And then his neighbor right as himself.
536      He would thresh, and thereto dike and delve,
537      For Christ’s sake, for every poor wight,
538      Without hire, if it lay in his might.
539      His tithes paid he full fair and well,
540      Both of his proper swink and his chattel.
541      In a tabard he road upon a mare.
542      There was also a Reeve and a Miller,
543      A Summoner and a Pardoner also,
544      A Manciple, and myself, - there were no more.
545      The Miller was a stout carl for the nonce;
546      Full big he was of brawn, and too of bones.
547      That proved well, for over all there he came,
548      At wrestling he would have always the ram.
549      He was short-shouldered, broad, a thick knar;
550      There was no door that he could not heave off har,
551      Or break it at a running with his head.
552      His beard as any sow or fox was red,
553      And thereto broad as it were a spade.
554      Upon the top right of his nose he had
555      A wart, and thereon stood a tuft of hairs,
556      Red as the bristles of a sow’s ears;
557      His nostrils black were and wide.
558      A sword and a buckler bore he by his side.
559      His mouth as great was as a great furnace.
560      He was a jangler and a goliardeys,
561      And that was most of sin and harlotries.
562      Well could he steal corn toll threes;
563      And yet he had a thumb of gold, pardie.
564      A white cope and a blue hood wore he.
565      A bagpipe well could he blow and sound,
566      And therewithal he brought us out of town.
567      A gentle Manciple was there of a temple,
568      Of which achatours might take example
569      For to be wise in buying of victuals;
570      For whether that he paid or took by tally,
571      Always he waited so in his achate,
572      That he was ay before and in good state.
573      Now is not that of God a full fair grace
574      That such a lewd man’s wit shall pace
575      The wisdom of a heap of learned men?
576      Of masters had he more than thrice ten,
577      That were of law expert and curious,
578      Of which there were a dozen in that house
579      Worthy to be stewards of rent and land
580      Of any lord that is in England,
581      To make him live by his proper good
582      In honor debtless (but if he were wood) ,
583      Or live as scarcely as he might desire;
584      And able for to help all a shire
585      In any case that might fall or hap
586      And yet this Manciple set their all cap.
587      The Reeve was a slender choleric man.
588      His beard was shaved as nigh as ever he can;
589      His hair was by his ears full round shorn;
590      His top was docked like a priest before.
591      Full long were his legs and full leen,
592      Like a staff; there was no calf seen.
593      Well could he keep a garner and bin;
594      There was no auditor could on him win.
595      Well wist he by the drought and by the rain
596      The yielding of his seed and of his grain.
597      His lord’s sheep, his neet, his dairy,
598      His swine, his horse, his steer, and his poultry
599      Was wholly in this Reeve’s governing,
600      And by his covenant gave the reckoning,
601      Since that his lord was twenty year of age.
602      There could no man bring him in arrearage.
603      There’s no bailiff, no herder, no other hine,
604      That he not knew his sleight and his covine;
605      They were adread of him as of the death.
606      His dwelling was full fair upon the heath,
607      With green trees shaded was his place.
608      He could better than his lord purchase.
609      Full rich he was astored privily.
610      His lord well could he please subtlely,
611      To give and lend him of his own good,
612      And have a thank, and yet a coat and hood.
613      In youth he had learned a good mister:
614      He was a well good wright, a carpenter.
615      This Reeve sat upon a full good stot
616      That was all pomely grey, and called Scot.
617      A long surcoat of perse upon him hade,
618      And by his side he bore a rusty blade.
619      Of Norfolk was this Reeve of which I tell,
620      Beside a town men call Baldeswell.
621      Tucked he was as is a friar about,
622      And ever he rode the hindmost of our route.
623      A Summoner was there with us in that place
624      That had a fire-red cherubin’s face,
625      For sauceflemed he was, with eyes narrow.
626      As hot he was and lecherous as a sparrow,
627      With scaled brows black, and piled beard.
628      Of his visage children were afeard.
629      There’s no quick-silver, litharge, nor brimstone,
630      Borax, ceruse, nor oil of tarter none,
631      No ointment that would cleanse and bite,
632      That him might help of his whelks white,
633      Nor of the knobs sitting on his cheeks.
634      Well loved he garlic, onions, and eek leeks,
635      And for to drink strong wine, red as blood;
636      Then would he speak and cry as he were wood.
637      And when that he well drunk had the wine,
638      Then would he speak no word but Latin.
639      A few terms had he, two or three,
640      That he had learned out of some decree –
641      No wonder is, he heard it all the day;
642      And too you know well how that a jay
643      Can call out “Walter” as well as can the pope.
644      But whoso could in other things him grope,
645      Then had he spent all his philosophy;
646      Ay “Questio quid juris” would he cry.
647      He was a gentle harlot and a kind;
648      A better fellow should men not find.
649      He would suffer for a quart of wine
650      A good fellow to have his concubine
651      A twelve month, and excuse him at full;
652      Full privily a finch too could he pull.
653      And if he found anywhere a good fellow,
654      He would teach him to have no awe,
655      In such case of the archdeacon’s curse,
656      But if a man’s soul were in his purse;
657      For in his purse he should punished be.
658      “Purse is the archdeacon’s hell, ” said he.
659      But well I know he lied right indeed;
660      Of cursing ought each guilty man him dread,
661      For curse will slay right as absolving save it,
662      And also ware him of a Significavit.
663      In danger had he at his own guise
664      The young girls of the diocese,
665      And knew their counsel, and was all their rede.
666      A garland had he set upon his head,
667      As great as it were for an ale-stake.
668      A buckler had he made him of a cake.
669      With him there rode a gentle Pardoner
670      Of Rouncivale, his friend and his compeer,
671      That straight was come from the court of Rome.
672      Full loud he sang “Come hither, love, to me! ”
673      The Summoner barred to him a stiff burdoun;
674      Was never trumpet of half so great a sound.
675      This Pardoner had hair as yellow as wax,
676      But smooth it hung as does a strike of flax;
677      By ounces hung his locks that he had,
678      And therewith he his shoulders overspread;
679      But thin it lay, by culpons one and one.
680      But hood, for jollity, wore he none,
681      For it was trussed up in his wallet.
682      He thought he rode all of the new jet;
683      Disheveled, save his cap, he rode all bare.
684      Such glaring eyes had he as a hare.
685      A Vernicle had he sowed upon his cap;
686      His wallet, before him in his lap,
687      Bretfull of pardon come from Rome all hot.
688      A voice he had as small as has a goat.
689      No beard had he, nor ever should have;
690      As smooth it was as it were late shave.
691      I trow he were a gelding or a mare.
692      But of his craft, from Berwick into Ware
693      Nor was there such another pardoner.
694      For in his male he had a pillow-bier,
695      Which that he said was Our Lady’s veil;
696      He said he had a gobbet of the sail
697      That Saint Peter had, when that he went
698      Upon the sea, ‘til Jesus Christ him hent.
699      He had a cross of latten full of stones,
700      And in a glass he had pigs’ bones,
701      But with these relics, when that he found
702      A poor person dwelling upon land
703      Upon a day he got him more money
704      Then that the person got in months twey;
705      And thus, with feigned flattery and japes,
706      He made the person and the people his apes.
707      But truly to tell at the last,
708      He was in church a noble ecclesiast.
709      Well could he read a lesson or a story,
710      But all the best he sang an offertory;
711      For well he wist, when that song was sung,
712      He must preach and well affile his tongue
713      To win silver, as he full well could;
714      Therefore he sang the merrily and loud.
715      Now have I told you truly, in a clause,
716      The estate, the array, the number, and too the cause
717      Why that assembled was this company
718      In Southwerk at this gentle hostelry
719      Called the Tabard, fast by the Belle.
720      But now is time to you for to tell
721      How that we baren us that same night,
722      When we were in that hostelry allright;
723      And after will I tell of our voyage
724      And all the remnant of our pilgrimage.
725      But first I pray you, of your courtesy,
726      That you not ascribe it to my villainy,
727      Though that I plainly speak in this matter,
728      To tell you their words and their cheer.  
729      Nor though I speak their words properly.
730      For this you know also well as I:
731      Whoso shall tell a tale after a man,
732      He must rehearse as nigh as ever he can
733      Every word, if it be in his charge,
734      All speak he never so rudely or large,
735      Or else he must tell his tale untrue,
736      Or feign things, or find words new.
737      He may not spare, although he were his brother;
738      He might as well say one word as another.
739      Christ spoke himself full broad in holy writ,
740      And well you know no villainy is it.
741      Eek Plato said, whoso can him read,
742      The words must be cousin to the deed.
743      Also I pray you to forgive it me,
744      All have I not set folk in their degree
745      Here in this tale, as that they should stand.
746      My wit is short, you may well understand.
747      Great cheer made our Host us everyone,
748      And to the supper set he us anon.
749      He served us with victuals at the best;
750      Strong was the wine, and well to drink us lest.
751      A seemly man our host was withall
752      For he'd been a marshal in a hall.
753      A large man he was with even step -
754      A fairer burgess was there none in Chepe -
755      Bold of his speech, and wise, and well taught,
756      And of manhood he lacked right naught.
757      Eek thereto he was right a merry man;
758      And after supper playing he began,
759      And spoke of mirth among other things,
760      When that we had made our reckonings,
761      And said thus: "Now, lords, truly,
762      You've been to me right welcome, heartily;
763      For by my troth, if that I shall not lie,
764      I saw not this year so merry a company
765      At once in this herber as is now.
766      Fain would I do you mirth, knew I how.
767      And of a mirth I am right now bethought,
768      To do you ease, and it shall cost naught.
769      "You're going to Canterbury - God you speed,
770      The blissful martyr quit you your meed!
771      And well I know, as you go on by the way,
772      You'll shape you to tell and to play;
773      For truly, comfort nor mirth is none
774      To ride by the way dumb as a stone;
775      And therefore will I make you disport,
776      As I said erst, and do you some comfort.
777      And if you like all by one assent
778      For to stand at my judgment,
779      And for to work, as I shall you say,
780      Tomorrow, when you ride by the way,
781      Now by my father's soul that is dead,
782      But you be merry, I will give you my head!
783      Hold up your hands, without more speech."
784      Our counsel was not long for to seek.
785      We thought it was not worth to make it wise,
786      And granted him without more avise,
787      And bade him say his verdict as he lest.
788      "Lords," said he, "now hearken for the best;
789      But take it not, I pray you, in disdain.
790      This is the point, to speak short and plain,
791      That each of you, to short with our way,
792      In this voyage shall tell tales tway
793      To Canterbury-ward, I mean it so,
794      And homeward he shall tell another two,
795      Of adventures that awhile have befall.
796      And which of you that bears him best of all -
797      That is to say, that tells in this case
798      Tales of best sentence and most solace -
799      Shall have a supper at all our cost
800      Here in this place, sitting by this post,
801      When that we come again from Canterbury.
802      And for to make you the more merry,
803      I will myself goodly with you ride,
804      Right at my own cost, and be your guide;
805      And whoso will my judgment gainsay
806      Shall pay all that we spend by the way.
807      And if you vouchsafe that it be so,
808      Tell me anon, without words more,
809      And I will early shape me therefore."
810      This thing was granted, and our oaths swore
811      With full glad heart, and prayed him also
812      That he would vouchsafe for to do so,
813      And that he would be our governor,
814      And our tale’s judge and reporter,
815      And set a supper at a certain price,
816      And we will ruled be at his devise
817      In high and low; and thus by one assent
818      We were accorded to his judgment.
819      And thereupon the wine was fetched anon;
820      We drank, and to rest went each one,
821      Without any longer tarrying.
822      At morning, when that day began to spring,
823      Up rose our Host, and was all our cock,
824      And gathered us together all in a flock,
825      And forth we rode a little more than pace
826      Unto the watering of Saint Thomas;
827      And there our Host began his horse to rest
828      And said, "Lords, hearken, if you lest,
829      You know your forward, and I it you record.
830      If even-song and morning-song accord,
831      Let's see now who shall tell the first tale.
832      As ever must I drink wine or ale,
833      Whoso be rebel to my judgment
834      Shall pay for all that by the way is spent.
835      Now draw cut, er we further twin;
836      He which that has the shortest will begin.
837      "Sir Knight, " said he, "my master and my lord,
838      Now draw cut, for that is my accord.
839      "Come near, " said he, "my lady Prioress.
840      And you, sir Clerk, let be your shamefacedness,
841      Study it not; lay hand to, every man! "
842      Anon to draw every wight began,
843      And shortly for to tell it as it was,
844      Were it by adventure, or sort, or case,
845      The truth is this: the cut fell to the Knight,
846      Of which full blithe and glad was every wight,
847      And tell he must his tale, as was reason,
848      By forward and by composition,
849      As you have heard; what need words more?
850      And when this good man saw that it was so,
851      And he that wise was and obedient
852      To keep his forward by his free assent,
853      He said, "Since I shall begin the game,
854      What, welcome be the cut, by God's name!
855      Now let us ride, and hearken what I say."
856      And with that word we rode on forth our way,
857      And he began with right a merry cheer
858      His tale anon, and said as you may hear.
© 2008, 2012, 2019 Forrest Hainline
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cigarschool · 7 years
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Rolling A Honduran Seco Purito
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A purito is a little cigar rolled using just one kind of leaf to learn stuff about that leaf: how it burns, smokes, tastes, works as a filler, binder, and wrapper.
So here I’m going to make a purito with that Honduran seco I bought. Seco is a good candidate for this kind of thing because it can be used for all the parts of a cigar; whereas something like a stiff thick ligero might never work for a binder or wrapper (or it might).
This post is mostly photos of the process of rolling this purito, which is no different from rolling any other size or other blend cigar. The techniques that I use to bunch, wrap, and cap this purito come from the Bliss Cigar Co. videos I link in each section. There are tons more videos there about cigar making:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKQPvIbslAFFDYDGi-EivRQ
Bunching:
https://youtu.be/WhNQ5gcM3jY
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I used the entubado method from that video. It is the standard Cuban method, and it and variations on it are used also in Nicaragua, the DR, Honduras, etc. Basically select a leaf or half-leaf that looks like it’ll make a good binder, then give it a water spritz and let it sit for a few minutes to make sure it’s flexible enough not to crack when you’re binding with it.
Roll the leaves into tubes, squeeze them together, tear off the tales and lay them back into your hand to make an even shape with no soft spots. Then roll it up in the binder.
Incidentally, this little cigar uses 1.5 leaves filler, half-leaf binder, and half-leaf wrapper, for a total of 2.5 leaves. Since there were 50 leaves in this half-pound, that’s 20 of these little things I could roll from this $15.75 order: about 79 cents a stick. Most cigars would cost a lot more to roll because you’ll likely use 5 leaves and “real” wrapper leaves, which are three times as expensive as filler.
The binder must be bottom, veiny side, up, and you roll from the tip-end of the binder leaf, that part that reaches for the sun. You are laying your tubed leafs down tips-first, so that the tips of your filler are at the tip of your binder.
Seal it with a dab of cigar glue--I use a cellulose gum called Bermcoll 320, available through Leafonly.com, Amazon, etc.--and then cut off the soft unfilled ends of the bunch and trim the head (the part that goes in your mouth) so that it’ll be more rounded coming out of the mold.
To trim you use a chaveta: a cigar roller’s knife. You can get these from places like wholeleaftobacco.com (where I got mine), leafonly.com, and on Ebay.
Then stick it in the mold, and rotate it 45 degrees 45 minutes later and leave in for another 45 minutes or so. Here I’m using a 38-ring mold that I got off Ebay.
Wrapper prep:
https://youtu.be/U74zS9yOaDs
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Basically once I selected a wrapper candidate half-leaf, I cut it out, sprayed it lightly with H2O, then misted the inside of a big plastic bag and put it in there, folding the bag closed. Three times over a couple hours I took it out and smoothed it with my hands to get the wrinkles out and re-misted, then re-bagged.
Wrapping and capping:
https://youtu.be/lk-C-kIKijU
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Took my prepped wrapper half-leaf and wrapped with it as per that video and these pics. Just as with the binder, the leaf is veins-up and you put the foot (the part you’ll light) at the tip of the wrapper and roll up parallel to the veins at a 45-degree angle to the top edge, which you have cut to remove the ragged edge. Glue it, triple-cap it.
Then dry-box the thing for a day or two (or whatever you can handle, but it’s always good to practice patience in the cigar game) and smoke it. Take notes on its qualities or lack thereof. If you get really lucky like I did you’ll end up with a little natural white heart blemish on your purito, which would go perfectly with a nice breakfast cappuccino with a heart in the foam.
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moosheeran · 7 years
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92 TRUTHS - tagging just @ocean--blue--eyes because she the only person I can think of 🙈 @whydontijustleavethisrighthere just why lol. 
 THE LAST…
 1) Drink: Water
2) Phone call: Who everyone was the last person to call the store I work at. Other than that I don't talk on the phone haha.
3) Text message: my sister 
4) Song you listened to: Easer by my moochie (Ed)
5) Time you cried: last week. 
 HAVE YOU EVER…
6) Dated someone twice: Nope
��7) Been cheated on: Nope
8) Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope. 
9) Lost someone special: Yes. More times then I would have liked it to happen. 
10) Been depressed: Oh boy oh boy yes. Add a lot of anxiety to that too and BAM there is my life. 
11) Gotten drank and thrown up: Nope. I'm the only one of my siblings that never had. I'm kinda proud. Then again I don't drink that much. 
 LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS
12) PURPLE 
13) Black
14) if it's bright I love it. 
 IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…
15) Made new friends: Yes! Thanks to this website. 
16) Fallen out of love: No.
17) Laughed until you cried: Yes. It happens almost every weekend. 
 18) Found out someone was talking about you: Nope
19) Met someone who changed you: Kinda
20) Found out who your true friends are: honestly, I don't have many friends. But the ones I do have are true friends.
 21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: like in a romantic way, no. In I love you you're my best friend, yes. 
 OTHER…
22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: 99.9%
23) Do you have any pets?: sweet baby Jesus yes. 5 moo cows, 2 mini horses, 8 rabbits, 3 dogs (5 all together but 3 are only technically mine) and a chicken!
 24) Do you want to change your name?: No I like it. It's not that common so I'm ok with it. 
25) What did you do for your last birthday?: Went to a huge flower nursery. 
26) What time do you wake up?: 6:30am 
27) What were you doing at midnight last night?: Sleeping. 
28) Name something you cannot wait for: the weekend! 
29) When was the last time you saw your mother?: Since I live with her, today. 
30) What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?: More money would be nice. Or not having to fix fence. 
31) What are you listening to right now?: Big Brother playing in the background.
 32) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Nope. 
 33) Something that is getting on your nerves: That I have to buy fencing
.34) Most visited website?: Tumblr and Instagram.
 35) Elementary: It was an old high school. Two stories. Creepy as hell. In a small town. 
36) High School: In a small town, and a lot of drama. 
37) University: Never went. Should've cause I would have my degree by now. 
38) Hair color: Brunette 
39) Long or short hair?: I love long hair but since I cut mine, I'm really loving short hair.
 40) Do you have a crush on someone?: well duh 
41) What do you like about yourself?: I have a good heart. Like I'm really caring. 
42) Piercings?: My ears.
43) Blood type?: O positive. I should donate more often but it makes me sick. 
44) Nickname?: Macy Lou. Maylen. Mace. Moo moo 
45) Relationship status?: Single
46) Zodiac sign?: Aries
47) Pronouns: She/her
.48) Favorite TV show: Empire when it was playing.
 49) Tattoos: none yet. By the end of this year. Maybe
50) Right or left hand?: Right FIRST…
51) Surgery: My tonsils 
52) Piercing: When I was a wee baby. 
53) Sport: soccer. But I quit. Then I rode horses.
 54) Vacation: Holly Beach. Which isn't like a real beach. It's the dirty water of the Gulf of Mexico. 
55) Pair of trainers: Who knows. 
57) Eating: Whatever I can grab. 
58) Drinking: water 
 59) I’m about to: Go take a shower
60) Listening to: The tv 
61) Waiting for: 2pm Friday
62) Want: Run away. 
63) Get married: One day. 
64) Career: retail really sucks, photography doesn't pay the bills and since I didn't go to uni I can't be a vet (my dream job) 
 YOUR TYPE…
65) Hugs or kisses?: Both
66) Lips or eyes?: Eyes
.67) Shorter or taller?: Taller
68) Older or younger?: Either
.69) Nice arms or nice stomach?: Arms 
70) Sensitive or loud?: Sensitive.
71) Hook up or relationship?: Relationship. Tho their is a few people I might hook up with haha.
 72) Troublemaker or hesitant?: Sometimes both.
 HAVE YOU EVER…
74) Kissed a stranger?: No
75) Drank hard liquor?: Yes.
76) Lost glasses, contact/lenses?: Yes. All the time. 
77) Turned someone down?: Yes.
78) Sex on first date?: People I don't go on dates. I can't even get someone to like me enough to take me on one. So how we gonna sex?
79) Broken someone’s heart?: Don't think so
 80) Had your heart broken?: yes
.81) Been arrested?: Not yet. I'm sure it's coming.
 82) Cried when someone died?: Well duh
.83) Fallen for a friend?: Yes.
 DO YOU BELIEVE IN…
84) Yourself?: Sometimes.
 85) Miracles?: Yes.
 86) Love at first sight?: Yes.
87) Santa Claus?: Well a course! Hehe
88) Kiss on the first date?: Again with the no-dates thing. <---this is @whydontijustleavethisrighthere answer but it works so I'm keeping it.
 89) Angels?: yes. 
 EVEN MORE
90) Current best friend’s name: Jennifer, Allie, Bliss, Cassie 
91) Eye color: Dark brown.
92) Favorite movie: I have a lot. Flicka is close to my heart so let's do that one. Any horse movie really haha. Disney too.
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If you are interested in something we hear  Trainer, Therapist, Downser, Reiki Master, Consultations, courses, initiations, radios, reiki grades 1-20, shamanism, and other 400 initiations / systems and any other questions related to spirituality. I make customized ties, Radiestezie, Inforeiki. Courses, face to face and distance initiations - online. Email address [email protected], Facebook, Google+, Linkedin: Andrei Daniel Alexe, Site: www.consultati.webgarden.ro, Bucharest, Sector 1, Ion Mihalache Boulevard, Phone +40768581843  People from whom I took courses, trainings, counseling, seminars ..  Circle Bruno Gröning Healer;  Yang Yun Sung Master Qi Gong;  Daniela Cumpanici Reiki Master;  Karyn Maria Taulescu Lombrea Master Reiki;  Andreea Talmazan Psychologist, Astrologer;  Paul Apostica Psychologist, Reiki Master;  Adi Manea, Master Reiki;  Dorian Radu Shaman, Master Reiki;  Tampai Rimpoche Achariya Master of Tibetan;  Dorina Dabija Radiestezist, Master Reiki;  Ovidiu Dragos Argeseanu Doctor, Reiki Master;  Bogdan Georgescu Reiki Master;  Rodica Mihaela Pasalau Yoga;  Maria Sarbu Astrologer;  Adina Binder Astrologer;  Dr. August Thalhamer Shaman, psychotherapist and theologian;  Teodor Vasile Psychologist, Master Reiki, Qi Gong, Feng Shui;  Vlad T. Popescu Reiki Master;  Risvan Vlad Rusu Reiki Master, Psychologist, Feng Shui;
Oana Marinescu Falon Dafa;  Daniela Badic Astrologer;  Mihaela Pacheco Instructor Drunvalo Melchizedek;  Dan Brule Breath work;  Horatiu Mihail Master of Reiki;  Andrei Ludosan Psychologist;  Bruno Medicina Trainer, Coach;  Andrew Fretwell Tao;  Dorotheea Petre Actress;  Mihai Popa Radu Coach;  Maria Cristina Stroiny Master of Reiki;  Mirela Melencu Bowen Bowtech;  Daniela Andreescu Coach;  Albert Ignatenko Psy It Psycho-Informational Techniques;  Jasmuheen Pranic Nourishment or Breatharianism;  Gonsar Tulku Rinpoche Master of Tibetan;  Jampa Lungtog Master of Tibetan;  Gerard O'Donovan Coach;  Emil Strainul Author;  Bogdan Prosperio Toma Master Reiki;  Nicoleta Sârlefus Astrologer;  Irina Holdevici Clinical Psychologist, Psychotherapist;  Remer Ra Author, Reiki Master;  Ruxandra Bulzan Hypnotherapist;  Crina Vereş Doctor;  Jae - Sheen Yu Master Sundao (Tao);  Silvia Dumitru Reiki Master, Trainer;  International School of Rosacea;  Ciprian Homm Consultant;  Yogeshvar Karthik Traditional spiritual teacher in yogic, tantric, Vedic practices;  Sarani Anisoara Cismasu Master Reiki;  Sri Vasudeva Visionary leader;  Anda Ciobanu Saman, trainer;  Mihaela Popescu Trainer;  Catalin Manea Author  Liviu Pasat Coach;  Andrei Voicu Hipnotist;  Bruno Giuliani (Uno) Professor didact of Biodanza;  Amalia Mateescu Professor Biodanza;  Guy Rivoallan, Calugar Zen, Zazen;  Stefana Badiu Actress and trainer;  Cristina Ciugudean Holistic therapist;  Stoian Nicolaie Therapist;  Dr. John Heiss Herbalife;  Oreste Teodorescu Author;  Svetlana Lungu Energy diagnostics, psychological counseling;  Andrei Lungul Energy Diagnostics;  Cosette Grigoras Therapist Bowen, Instructor Theta Healing;  Luang Phi Pasura Buddhist Monk;  Andu Guinea Master Qigong;  Valeriu-Ioan Lapadatescu Therapist;  Contescu Cornel, Count Incappucciato Analysis with Biospecter;  Eugen Popa Hypnosis;  Vasile Sarmi Tourist guide;  Marin Constantin Reiki Therapist, Radiestezie;  Dr. Eric Pearl Reconnect;  Dr.Loredana Mark, Iulian Marcu Bucur Tiens;  Cristina Chitac, Monica Dascalu Intuitive view;  Eugen Mitroi Reiki Master;  Dr.Leslie Szamosi Senior Lecturer / MBA Academic Director;  Loredana Latis Coach;  Yonathan Dominitz Trainer;  Kaisa Puhakka Dr.Psychologist;  Laura Mihaela Liciu Master All Love / Seikim;  Patrick Scott Zeigler Founder of Seikim / All Love;  Bhante Yogavacara Rahula; Calugar Budist;  Claus Kostka Psychotherapist;  Ion Duvac Doctor Psychologist;  Mark Komissarov;  Tiberiu Felber Coach and Trainer ITA-NLP;  Maria Ciobanu Bioenergoterapeut;  Stelian and Gigi Chivu Psychologist and Parapsychologist  Carmen Harra Intuitive psychologist;  Psychiatrist Neurologist Prof.Dr.Univ. Dumitru Constantin Dulcan;  Marieta Buzescu Therapist Reiki and Theta Healing;  Dan Cismas Reiki Master and Dynamic Healing;  Cristian Alexandru Trainer;  Ioan Toroican Author;  Loredana Caradimu Therapist Alternative Therapies;  Adrian Constantinescu Spiritual Teacher;  Nistor Romeo Scoala Kryon;  Cerasela Rogen Coach Trasformational;  Constantin Dornean Astrologer;  Delia Muresan Spiritual Coach;  Rita Andreea Muresan Designer, Trainer;  Ramona Popescu Trainer;  Georges Colleuil Philosopher and Psychotherapist;  Dumitru Prunariu Cosmonaut;  Cristian Nicolae Facilitator and Mentor Coach;  Catalina Molnar Coach;  Mugurel Calin Coach;  Camelia Daniela Stefan Life Coach NLP;  Dr. Prashant Kakoday Raja Yoga;  Andy Szekely Author, Trainer and Speaker in Personal Development;  Ovidiu Bojor Phytotherapist;  Dr.Adrian Restian Family medicine;  Swami Parthasarathy Philosopher;  Florian Iulian Mincu Chinese Astrology Consultant BaZi and Feng Shui Traditional;  Oana Niculae Coach, Trainer;  Ion Manzat, Ph.D. Psychologist;  Mario Simoes Psychologist;  Cyrus Iranpour Dr.PsiholoG, Psychiatrist;  Stefano Pischiutta Psychotherapist;  Ionel Mohirta Psychologist:  Maite Pardo Sol Psychotherapist, Saman;  Mihaela Minulescu Psychologist;  Cinzia Lemno Psychologist;  Catalin Tomescu Entrepreneur;  Arpad Urszuly Master Prananadi;  Daniela Fechete Master Prananadi;  Anca Munteanu Psychologist;  Pierre Pastel Psychotherapist, Sociologist;  Alessandra Brunelli Psychotherapist Respiratia Pneuma;  Gabriel Dragomir Psychiatrist;  Monique Hanley Fourrage Architect;  Raoul Radu Psychologist, Psychotherapist;  Lucien Alfille Psyhoterapet;  Mircea Pocol Psychologist;  Teodora Anghel Psychologist, Psychotherapist;  MARIA APAZA MACHACA - Alto Misayoc Saman Inca;  ISABELA APAZA MACHACA - Pampa Misayoc Saman Inca;  Olimpia Mioara Mirestean Teacher, Trainer, Shaman;  Laurentiu Marga BioenergoTerapeut;  AURELIA CURAJ Primary Doctor Geriatrics-Gerontology;  LIANA BARNOS Nu Skin;  CRISTINA SCHAFROTH physician-maxillo-facial surgery;  Antonescu Maria Cristina Energoterapeut;  Diana Cooper Spiritual Teacher;  Vernon Foster Shaman Amerindian;  Don Francisco Chura Flores Shamanan Q'ero;  Juan Yool Gómez Shaman Maya;  Daniel Meze Cabala;  Zoltan Veres Speaker, trainer and coach;  Andrew J. Bevan Astrologer;  Graţian Sonu Entrepreneur;  Laurentiu Florea Coach;  Sal Rachele healer, author, channel;  Anatol Basarab Psychologist, numerologist;  Ozana Giusca Antreprenor;  Ariendra - Dagoz Family Tibetan Boluri;
Bryan Eisenberg Speaker, Author;  Calin Biris Trainer marketing consultant;  Rune Heivang Teacher;  Ioan Nistor Astrological Human Design, Saman;  Alina Finta Coach;  Claudia Ciocirlan Life Coaching;  Vasile Sturzu Saman Inca;  Madalina Ghinescu Trainer, Coach John C. Maxwell Team;  Bogdan Gavrila Professor Al Ferasa;  Braco Spiritual Teacher;  Dr. David C. Muss Technique Rewind;  Alexandru Bocunescu Tainer Face Keys Romania;  Dragos Barbalata Trainer, Entrepreneur;  Iuliana Delcuescu Reiki Master;  Adinkarela Sorina Burtea Therapist Alternative Medicine;  Raine Hilton Spiritual Teacher;  Andi Beldianu Coach Adlerian;  Alexandrea Chiru Coach Adlerian, Gene Keys;  Cristi Lazar, Anca Juganaru Instructors Method Silva;  Val Voicu Hatha Yoga;  Anda Manta Therapist;  Ing. Eugen Bîrgaoanu Aim Grup;  Leon Zagrean Prof. Ph.D. Physiology;  Mihai Abagief Vipassana;  Rajko Kuzmanovic Method Silva;  Prof.Dr.Dan Farcas Mathematician;  Juan Ruiz Naupari Psychotherapist;  Gaia Michael Zipf Therapist Satsang;  Prof.Dr.Ovidiu Victor Coşbuc Anthropologist researcher;  Lecturer Dr.Larin Nicolae Arhitect;  Robina Courtin Buddhist Teacher;  Prof.Uca Marinescu Explorator;  Johann Muller-Dragoman Holistic and Spiritual Therapist;  Mădălin Bratu Psychologist;
Swami Ananda Saraswati Master Yoga and Vedanta;
Ajahn Dhammanando Buddhist Theravada monk;
Dr. Munire Ibram Physician Aphytotherapy, Ayurveda;
Marius Spiridon Coach;
Déva Psesence Speaker motivational, Author;
Joanne Richardson Shaman;
Alexandra Dumitrica Facilitator Divine Alignment;
Alex Ciochina Reiki Master;
Andy Neagu Instructor Meditatie Trascedentala;
Cristina Udrescu Numerolog;
Cerasela Sindile / Dragos Toma Moroseanu Instructor Chi Nei Tsang, Tao;
Flavia-Isabela M. Cioceanu Therapist / Healer.
Claudiu Fartade / Sadhguru, Isha Kriya Yoga;
Sabin Gîlceava negotiating consultant;
Anca-Ioana Bandac MiniCRM;
Mircea Saplacan Emiral Media.  Facebook, Google+, Linkedin: Andrei Daniel Alexe, Site www.consultati.webgarden.ro, Sector 1, Ion Mihalache Blvd., Bucharest Phone: +4 0768581843.  You are interested in something we talk about
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