#A file alone cannot... really do anything outside of it's program. If we were to look at programs with admin access

[tvmblrsillyman]

Where do I even begin?

@thislovethatslostcantbefound Assuming from the way you phrase "computer programs" and with my current status as the only executable file present, no, we do not use the bathroom. There are no functions the bathroom can provide for personality modules.

Perhaps in a virtual environment where it takes advantage of the API from the engine that glues my conscious together could.... emulate human functions if someone were to program it. But that is not the case here.

There is an itch that has been bothering me lately, so if anyone asks questions abt my ocs/world building/ect, I can draw them out w/ Oliviam as the voice to answer them.

[csykora]

After ‘84, Igor felt the pieces were beginning to fall off the Red Machine. 

He hated being called a robot as much as he hated being called a soldier. He didn’t know what the world wanted the Green Unit to do on the ice or off it, how they had to behave, before someone would believe they had feelings. On the worst days they were too tired and numb to feel anything else.  

When he’d met Bobby Clarke, who he thought looked like a hockey angel with a blond halo and no teeth, Bobby commented about the Soviet presence in Afghanistan. Igor didn’t know how to say that he’d definitely never been allowed to go to Afghanistan, and under the uniform he didn’t deserve to be a soldier, for good or bad. The national team was a tool of the Soviet government: at the same time it was a comfort for ordinary people in cold little apartments in mining towns where the players grew up and also a prop in the illusions that kept everything how it was. 

The illusion went skin deep: every time they left Russia, Igor was issued a snappy winter coat and brand-name Western clothes, so no one would think the Soviets looked poor.

[A black and white photo of the Green Unit posing, smiling except for Igor, in matching windbreakers with saddle shoulders and bold stripes. This was a hot look, about 10 years before the Soviet Union Costuming Department thought it was a hot look]

Underneath the coat or the beautiful red sweater, everything was a mess. At one point, at a tournament in Canada, a Canadian player would hit Igor from behind. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except the Soviet management hadn’t provided enough hockey pads. Igor was wearing a partial set he’d borrowed from a high school team that played in the host arena earlier that day. (Across Europe and Canada I bet there are grown men, still hockey fans now, who have no idea they once owned game-worn gear from the world’s top scorers. To Igor’s fans those pieces might be worth as much as he ever earned in his CSKA career.) He would play the rest of that tournament with broken ribs.

The only outsider he’d met who seemed to understand, however briefly, was their friend Vanya. Asked what it was like playing against those Russian robots, Wayne said, 

“Robots don’t hurt when they lose.”

By June 1985, Slava was recovering from that knee injury that had sidelined him for half the last season. He and his little brother Tolya, now a CSKA rookie, drove back for the start of training. Their car was hit, and Tolya was killed. Slava thought about leaving that season, but their parents told him to keep going, and just try to live for two people.

In November, the players at Arkhangel heard a rumor: someone had written an article, in a Soviet paper, that criticized the hockey program. Anything that wasn’t awe was criticism. Someone got their hands on a copy, and Igor, Vova, Sergei, and Slava huddled around their usual table that evening, hiding each other as they read it in turns. Igor reread it twice. He’d read Canadian and American papers that dragged the Soviet system, but never something like this, that got it--almost--right. It didn’t have all the details to understand the illusion--how they trained, how Tikhonov acted behind Arkhangel’s walls--but it guessed some.

Glasnost was beginning, a long rustling cracking thaw opening new streams of information and communication like Igor had dreamed. The Canucks drafted him that year, and then Vova. The Devils had dibsed Slava and Lyosha a few years before, and the Flames wanted Sergei. There was a place for them, waiting, if they could ever get to the NHL. But there wouldn’t be any thaw in Arkhangel as long as Tikhonov ruled it.

The ’85 World Championships were held in Prague, and ’86 in Moscow. Igor played both, and nothing else. For two years, no one saw him outside the Soviet Union. 

In December of ‘85, CSKA was supposed to tour North America. Igor was dressed and ready. Then he heard his passport, which he had used a hundred times before, had run into problems. Coach told him not to worry, but to stay behind in Russia and--how convenient--keep training for the championships in Moscow. Igor woke up at three in the morning to watch the games he was supposed to be playing. He learned that Canadian journalists were asking about him: apparently, he had tonsillitis. Igor wasn’t entirely sure where his tonsils were. 

Two months later CSKA played in Sweden. Strange, how his tonsils still weren’t better, and his passport was still missing. Two nights before they were set to leave Tikhonov called him into the office, in front of the team, and told him so. But the next evening Tretiak, now a more senior officer, came out to visit the barracks. He hugged Igor and promised him he would do what he could to get the passport by the time they were supposed to leave the next morning. Igor went to bed hoping. At 4:30 AM the coaches woke him just to tell him the passport wasn’t there yet, so the team really would be leaving without him. 

The third time it happened, he was told to go back to the passport office to file everything all over again--maybe he had fucked up his passport. He didn’t bother. Taking away travel had been one thing. But doing it in front of the team, in front of the Green Unit, so that he knew that they knew that he had let them down somehow, broke his heart. 

He was still allowed to play inside the Soviet Union. As long as he was with CSKA, the other Greens treated him the same as always. If they had known how bad things were going to get, Igor thought they would have done more sooner, but he knew that they didn’t understand what was happening. In between games, he spent his days in office buildings, being grilled about suspicious activities like listening to rock music, calling his mom too often, or kissing Canadians. 

“I was at fault all around. That I gladly gave interviews to journalists. That I liked the NHL...that I like rock music. That the living standard there impressed me. All this was raked up into a pile. I was the enemy. Because, you see, if I liked the American way of life, then in general I was an American by heart. All of this they said about me.

By nature, I am clearly a Russian. I do not like everything in America. It cannot be that somewhere is as in a fairytale, and somewhere else is total darkness.

Particularly, it seemed, my [friendliness] offended the preservers of government secrets….I also knew a little English. Therefore I had the possibility to rub elbows with whomever I might come in contact: hockey players, journalists and even immigrants. And, they assumed, to each of them I could give important information--everyone getting an equal share, no doubt, in order to be fair.”

He couldn’t talk to his friends from other countries, or his Russian friends either when they traveled without him. On the street outside between the rink and the party offices, none of his former fans would speak to him, except to ask or tell him their opinion if he really was a traitor.

He was wanted everywhere but home. Obviously, no other country believed that a 25 year-old athlete who had been the best in the world six months before had been brought down by tonsillitis multiple times in a row. There’s only so many tonsils a person can have. Obviously, every other country thought Igor must want to defect, the one thing he did not want and couldn’t convince anyone of. So each host on the international hockey circuit was bouncing on their toes, first Canada, then Sweden and so on, thinking maybe the Soviet Union would slip up and let him come to their tournament, he'd defect, and then they’d get to keep him. Obviously, the Soviets noticed that, and squeezed tighter.

Each time the team left on tour, he was told to spend his time alone training harder and hope. If he was good enough, maybe he’d make the next tournament. His body, always a battle-ground with Coach Tikhonov, became a hostage situation. The more Tikhonov told him to train, the less he ate. Eventually he was eating mostly fruit, and restricting his water intake. 

He stopped pretending to defer to anyone.  He used to be the sober one between his hot-head wingers, and now he egged every fight on. Sometimes he faked an American accent, calling Coach “Tikhonoff” the way American broadcasters had at the '81 Olympics.

One day at the rink he bumped into figure skater Lena Batanova, who “knew nothing about hockey and could not have cared less.” She had been through worse training than he had growing up, only to win two World Championships, and then be slighted from a third. They understood each other without having to say anything.

[Igor washing dishes in their Moscow apartment, turning to glance at Lena pressing up him.]

That summer he stayed up late talking with his friends, and realized he wanted to marry Lena. He asked her the next morning, and she said yes. Behind Igor’s back, Slava, Vova, Sergei, and Lyosha went to Coach Tikhonov’s office, and told him that they would play every other day of the year if they had to, but they would be going to Igor’s wedding. Coach wouldn’t allow the three days for a traditional Russian wedding, but he had to give Igor one.

Waking up the morning after the wedding, Igor checked the mail and found a summons to appear before the Central Committee of the Communist Party. His friends, who I imagine lying hungover on his and Lena’s new couch and floor, rushed for their unused books to help him study up on Communist doctrine, in case he got quizzed. This is presumably when Lena woke up, realized she’d married a whole line of hockey players for their one communal brain cell, and rolled back over. Igor reported the next morning, probably with flashcards Vova had made for him in his pocket.

The Party officials congratulated him on getting married and gave him the wedding gift they were sure no one else would have gotten: his passport. We have to guess the logic here, if there was one. It’s possible the Party thought he wouldn’t risk his wife, or that two years had just been enough to realize the team wasn’t working without him. 

But he was allowed to go to Canada for the Calgary Cup before the end of ‘86, and everyone had questions about his two years of tonsillitis. Igor, for the first time in his life, didn’t talk. But that just left the hockey world to gossip. Two months later it was announced he’d be in Quebec City for another tournament, and right before they arrived a Quebec newspaper printed a version of the night out with Gretzky--with quotes, they claimed, from Wayne. This time the tournament organizers called someone from every team up for a pregame presser. I imagine Igor shrugging at his KGB handlers and sliding away to the stage: nothing could stop him talking now.

Except the Canadian journalists. They wanted to interview Team Canada first. Igor stewed, and then looked up to see an oncoming Wayne. Someone had asked him about the alleged quotes in the article, which Igor had snagged a copy of to read the second they let him loose in Canada. Apparently Wayne hadn’t. 

“‘Believe me, Igor,’” Igor remembers Wayne blurting out. “‘I didn’t say what was printed in the paper. I’ll tell them it didn’t happen! But what is your position now?’”

“‘Do not worry,” Igor promised him. “‘Now, everything is okay.’”

“Oh, awesome,” (I’m assuming again) Wayne said. “So do you want to come over later and hang out in my mom’s basement?!”

“If the KGB pulls a gun, then call me.” --Wayne Gretzky

Weirdly, I’ve never seen this inspirational quote cross-stitched on someone’s wall. 

The next Canada Cup was held in August ‘87 in Hamilton, Ontario, which is like, basically next door to Wayne’s parents’ house. So the afternoon before the first game, Wayne sent his dad Walter to the hotel where the Soviet team was staying. Walter asked in Ukrainian if he could chat with Igor, who had to come down to the hotel lobby to meet him, since visitors were absolutely not allowed to wander up to players’ rooms. Walter invited his son’s friend over for dinner. Igor cut eyes at the KGB agent in the corner, and said he had to go upstairs and ask Coach. Tikhonov said no before Igor started talking.

Igor came back downstairs and apologized to Walter, who thought hard for a minute. He told Igor to ask what if the whole Green Unit went to Wayne’s house for team bonding? Coach Tikhonov considered, and said no, and Igor went back to Walter. 

Walter hitched up his suspenders, and announced to the KGB that he would talk go to Coach Tikhonov now.

He told Tikhonov he would be honored if Coach came to dinner at his house that evening, and if Coach felt like it, he might bring the boys over too. Tikhonov said he’d love to. 

Tikhonov, Igor, Vova, Sergei, Slava, Lyosha, and a KGB operative spent a delightful half hour packed in a car together driving to the Gretzkys' house, where Walter and Phyllis were throwing a cookout. Walter and some of his local buddies had barbecue and corn on the cob on the grill, and Phyllis had quizzed her son about his Moscow trip before throwing up her hands in despair and making a big batch of her mother’s Polish dumplings and sausage.

Nothing makes me happier than the image of Wayne Gretzky, beaming from ear to ear, handing famously fussy little Igor Larionov a piece of barbecued corn on the cob. Igor had to explain that yes, they had corn in Russia, but they ate it on a plate and not like squirrels. Walter offered him a beer, and Igor looked to Coach Tikhonov before saying no. Tikhonov allowed the players to have a soda.

Wayne started asking him how everything had been since the last time they hung out, and didn’t get why his friend wouldn’t talk to him at first. Igor might answer one question, and then act like he didn’t understand. Sergei and Vova really didn’t speak English, and kept elbowing Igor to explain what was going on and why Wayne was smiling at them like that, but Igor was still pretending he only spoke Russian and hesitated to translate for them. Finally Wayne realized Igor was clamming up every time Tikhonov got within earshot.

Wayne went to Walter to change the game plan. Walter would use his Ukrainian to ask Coach Tikhonov about his many amazing accomplishments, while Wayne told the whole party he wanted to show the other boys his medals, which were all down in the basement. Unfortunately the Gretzky family’s basement was very small, and housed Wayne’s many, many medals, so only two people could possibly fit down there at a time: one Gretzky, and one Russian. Tikhonov thought about it, decided he didn’t care about someone else’s medals, and gave the okay.

 Just in case, Wayne deputized his dad’s buddy Charlie, who did not speak Russian or anything like it but was somebody’s dad from suburban Ontario, to chat up the KGB agent.

So Wayne began to escort the Green Unit, one by one, down to his family’s basement. At the bottom of the stairs, he handed them a beer. The two of them chugged their beers together, trying not to take suspiciously long or laugh too loud, and then ran back up to change out for the next boy.

Nothing happened that night. It didn’t change anything, except that Tikhonov never found out. The Greens had been able to get one over on him, because they didn’t have to do it alone.

Main

Next>>

[thekidultlife]

The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate!AU (5)

⍟ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU

⍟ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff

⍟ Warnings: mentions of abuse, drinking, and sex

⍟ Word Count: 8.5k

⍟ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to write opinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.

⍟ A/N: So on to the next chapter! This is probably the longest I’ve written for this series! Anyway, please excuse my tarot reading skills, my knowledge is only limited to watching pick a car readings in youtube and google. Now that’s out of the way, please enjoy! -Hyeri

⍟ Taglist: @shoshishua, @woozisnoots (I also want to thank @minkwans and @oprandomfeels for leaving such a nice messages on the tags in the previous chapter!! I dont want to sound creepy but i do comeback to them if i needed motivation to write! so thank you!!)

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

CILVEKAN ESPIONAGE TURNS PARLIAMENT INTO A BATTLEFIELD by Jeon Wonwoo and Kwon Soonyoung

The Porta Persa Edition, October 12th

Words that break like cannon shots, arguments that burn like incendiaries, bulwarks of statements that are hardly impenetrable—such is a terrifying and impressive sight to behold upon the ancient halls of the Parliament in these last few weeks. The fate of the two Cilvekan agents who were previously caught in Lower Efendel had been a divisive force upon the venerated legislative body of our nation; rendering them into a heated stalemate. 

Armed with wit and sound proofs, Conservatives led by Atlen County Representative Kang Jinho campaigned for stringent travel restrictions, as well as a thorough examination of all Cilvekan nationals entering and leaving Porta Persa. He contends that the security of this powerful nation must not be compromised for simple material gains. 

Pointing an accusing finger at the trading and tourism industry which has seen immense growth in profits due to the inflow of foreign immigrants and visitors into the country, Conservatives have been critical of lax travel regulations over the years in which they view, as in Rep. Kang’s words, as a means for ‘alien entities’ to ‘wreak havoc in this peaceful land’ and ‘further their covert operations to diminish and weaken the stability of Porta Persa’. According to Rep. Kang, it is rightfully so that sacrifices are to be made to ensure that no foreign powers would dare to assert their influence over this country. 

On the other side of the argument lie Santaragossa Assembly Representative Lee Jihoon, the flagship of both Libertarians and Moderates on this matter, who, with his rapid fire responses, have advocated for softer regulations and an extensive counterintelligence program instead. 

In his speech to Congress today, Rep. Lee disputes that economic factors are hardly simple, and should not be diminished into mere ‘increase of gains’. In his words ‘There are people who, if harsher travel restrictions are thus placed, will be left for wild dogs to eat, for the weather to beat and rattle their bones on the cold earth. With no means of a livelihood to provide for themselves, what will become of them? For us who have a roof to sleep in, and food on the table to eat, it is easy for us to say that travel restrictions are a minor inconvenience. Yet for these people, harsher travel restrictions are equivalent to a death sentence.’

He further advocates for a better counterintelligence program wherein proper and stronger defenses are to be implemented only at the appropriate areas, as this is not only cost effective, but also ensures that the livelihood and the human rights of all people in Porta Persa, whether be citizen, immigrant, tourist and whatnots are protected and venerated…

◇

“Lee Jihoon was truly frightening during that session. I swear to god, sitting there feels like he’s attacking me personally.”

Unlike the usual, the three of you were not relaxing comfortably outside the lush courtyards of the Royal Academy, eating carefully prepared lunches and enjoying the view. Instead, late morning sunlight poured from the open windows, illuminating the wooden desk and chair you were sitting on, silently listening to your friends.

To your right, sat said friends: Wonwoo and Soonyoung who were fresh from the printers, the rancid smell of ink sticking to their regal school uniform. On Soonyoung’s hands was the freshly printed draft of your newspaper, which was to be released the next day. 

He folded the newspaper and tossed it beside you on the desk. 

“He’s been like that for what? A week now, I reckon?” 

“Two, in my opinion.” Wonwoo answered, adjusting his glasses. He was the calmer kind of fellow. Soonyoung was more theatrical. 

“Oh good god, it’s been two weeks already?” Soonyoung exclaimed, his lips ajar. “No wonder Y/N is here all the time!”

Wonwoo glanced at you, who simply turned away and faced the open window. “Why are you here exactly?”

You continued to grind Alizarin berries on your portable mortar and pestle with a nonchalant look on your face. “I’m making your allergy medicine.”

“Not yesterday and in the last few weeks,” Wonwoo retorted back, giving you an inquisitive look. “Now tell me, is it because of Lee Jihoon?” 

Groaning, you continued to pour all of your irritation at the poor powdered berries in your mortar. “Must the reason always be Lee Jihoon?” 

“Well, why are you here then?” Soonyoung shrugged, glancing at you with raised brows. 

Exasperated, you sighed and left the mortar and pestle alone for once. In all honesty, the reason was indeed Lee Jihoon. After he saw your breakdown two weeks ago, you were avoiding him at all cost because you knew he was going to ask you about it and you were not one to divulge such sensitive topics. 

Of course, you wouldn’t let them know. “The way my room looks is just nauseating.” 

Soonyoung made an incredulous frown while Wonwoo snorted. 

“Right.” They both said.

Having childhood friends has its own disadvantages: you couldn’t really hide anything from them. Yet you wouldn’t tell them anything for that matter. Your room was indeed nauseating, spinning around and around as your vision blur if you just stay in one position for far too long.The way your stomach churns and your legs buckle because of the amount of suppressants you were taking to block your soulmate connection was something you simply cannot express into words. 

You stare at the red powder inside the mortar. The smell was making you lurch, reminding you of the suppressant, yet you expertly concealed it with a cough and a broad change of subject. 

“Aren’t we supposed to go somewhere today?” you asked, adding more berries to the mortar. 

“No, it’s on Friday, 3pm,” Wonwoo replied, checking his travel sized planner. “For some time, Soonyoung and I have been tracing documents from Luce Trading to see if they could give us some clues. But most of them inexplicably got lost or destroyed from last year’s flooding, but thankfully, Soonyoung found some in a novelty shop.” 

Upon hearing, you quirked a brow at them. “That is quite interesting. It is possible that something important is in those documents, especially when they had deemed it necessary to destroy them. It seems like fortune is on our side today.”

Wonwoo nodded. “Exactly my thoughts.”

“I reckon, those documents can finally settle the question of who their actual victims are,” the other male remarked with a considerate nod. “We can actually take a step forward in this investigation!”

You forced a smile. Truly, you were elated but the way your heart was palpitating wasn't feeling that great to you. Wonwoo adjusted his glasses once more, a habit he has acquired whenever he was thinking of something.

"Quite frankly, I still haven't forgotten what Jihoon had told me a few months ago," he started, fidgeting with his hands. "And god knows if he's telling me the truth or throwing us off the scent." 

"Oh that one..." Soonyoung exclaimed, nodding. You glanced at the two of them, looking betrayed. 

"Why have I no knowledge of this?" You asked, eyes shooting daggers. 

The two boys quickly exchanged glances and panicked.

"You haven't told Y/N?" Wonwoo asked the other male, who was beginning to pout. 

"What…I thought you told Y/N!" He replied, pointing at you. 

What seemed like a little misunderstanding was going to become a lot of bickering later on, so as you rolled your eyes, you put yourself between the two of them. 

"Alright, enough. Just tell me what Lee Jihoon said," you spoke sternly, hands on your hips.

“It’s not as straightforward as you think,” Wonwoo recounted. “Jihoon kept going in circles about our newspaper, Alex Fireflower—”

“Me?” you exclaimed, furrowing your brow.

“Yes, you. And the Gestalt case,” Wonwoo continued, acknowledging you. “At first, I was under the impression that he was simply inquiring what my thoughts were with regards to the Gestalt case as a fellow classmate, yet as it turned out, he appears to be hinting that it was a suicide case.”

A bewildered look was what you gave him, not understanding how a blatantly homicide case could possibly be a suicide. “I need you to expound further than that.”

Your friend shrugged. “That’s where the problem lies. We know that the Gestalts might be involved in the sex trafficking ring due to the judicial records we’ve discovered before, yet to what extent is a matter we have no knowledge of.”

“Oh, yes, that tax evasion case filed against Luce Trading that was suddenly dismissed by court with no apparent reason…it seems malicious, yet I still doubt that it should be considered a connection to the syndicate” Soonyoung remarked. 

“Those things usually happen yet everything involved in this case should be accounted for. Even including the possibility of it being a suicide,” Wonwoo continued. 

“Yet logistically speaking, how can it possibly be a suicide?” You asked, clearly unconvinced. “Lee Jihoon is merely giving us chaff.”

“That is the reason why I cannot just stop thinking about it. It’s perplexing.” 

“You’re just doing mental exercises, Wonwoo,” you dismissed him. “Trusting Lee Jihoon is definitely not advisable. He’s a politician. We might be unaware that he is in fact a part of that syndicate, and is simply playing cat and mouse with us.”

Wonwoo heaved a long sigh, leaning against the bedpost. “That, I won’t deny.”

“Rather than running on conjectures, we should proceed with the investigation instead,” Soonyoung interrupted solemnly. “We simply do not have the entire narrative.”

"I completely agree," you replied, leaning against the table as you go through another wave of stomach cramps with much composure. "Let's…lay out what we know first." 

The two of them nodded at you, which you considered a signal to begin.

"So, we know that some government officials are involved in a sex trafficking scheme. Why do we know that?" 

Soonyoung answered. "Because Wonwoo unintentionally eavesdropped a conversation between his father and a parliament member, who was trying to ask him to vote against the amendment of the Soulmate bond." 

"He offered my father membership to the syndicate among other things…" Wonwoo quietly continued, perusing his thoughts. 

"Right. We know that the Gestalt case is somewhat related to the syndicate. Why?" 

"For one, that parliament member who had attempted to lobby for my father's vote was asking him to vote against the amendment which has stemmed from the Gestalt case. It could possibly be a stretch but we should not deny it." 

Nodding, you continued. "And the fact that we had found out that Rene Gestalt had already died right after the High Court suspension. And had died under a different name and under a mysterious circumstance."

"If Rene Gestalt was a simple nobody, he wouldn’t have died in that manner," Soonyoung added. "And that tax evasion case shouldn't have been dismissed so easily."

"Luce Trading is more profitable than Kwon International, isn't it?" You asked, but Soonyoung immediately replied.

"Hey now! We had better sales for the past decade!" 

You giggled, "Alright, my apologies." 

"I still find it hard to fit the pieces though," Wonwoo interrupted. "Why Luce Trading? Why did Himi Gestalt die but not Rene? What exactly happened?"

The three of you exchanged glances.

"We need more information."

You leaned back, sighing as you felt the heaviness of the possible truth you have in your hands. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were pretty much the same. That’s why, more than anything, you didn’t want any sort of distraction, especially those that involve soulmate bonds.

“In the meantime, Y/N,” Wonwoo began, giving Soonyoung a look and then the two gazed at you with concerned expressions. “Are you truly, definitely, a hundred percent, alright?” 

You knitted your brows, and immediately replied. “I’ve never been better.”

“No…! No, what we meant is…” Soonyoung was the one who responded. “You…you fought with your father, didn’t you?”

It was a sudden inquiry, you can admit that, but you were not at least surprised they had asked. Your father must’ve gone to Soonyoung’s father and then they informed him of the matter. 

“A few weeks ago, yes,” you told them, nonchalant as you added more berries to the mortar. “I have decided to cut ties with him once and for all. He’s nothing to me now.”

You noticed that they were taken aback, but it was an expected reaction. The decision was indeed done in the heat of the moment, yet you didn’t feel anymore remorseful. 

“You do not have to worry about me. I have you two, and our newspaper is doing quite well in sales,” you reassured them. “Cutting him off is simply removing dead weight off my shoulders.”

Without any warning, Soonyoung pulled you to a tight embrace and Wonwoo followed soon after. You simply stayed still in surprise, as they continued to console you silently, knowing that you didn’t need any words to make you feel better. 

“Y/N, please know that we will always be here for you,” Wonwoo began. “We’ve been together since we were children, and we’ll always will be.”

“If you wish to get something off your chest, we are always here to listen. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

You grimaced at this, but hid it easily by burying yourself underneath their embrace. You’ll tell them everything someday, but now, you simply wish to brave the storm by yourself.

“I will.”

◇

"Jihoon!"

Heavy footfalls echo across the marbled hallways of the Parliament. Rows of white columns line up on the curve, the view of Porta Persa easily seen with just one turn of a head.

"Jihoon, please wait for a moment!"

Harsh steps that march through with controlled frustration, and another set which was running after them. Nobody was on sight other than two men who were adorned by their heavy purple robes, billowing with the wind.

"Lee Jihoon!" 

"What is it ?!" The other snapped, his eyes piercing and intense.

The Minister of Foreign Affairs sighed, his demeanor tinged with concern. The whole Parliament hearing was tense and unnerving, and Lee Jihoon seemed to be in the middle of the swirling storm. 

"I simply wanted to see if you are doing well," Joshua offered, his voice calm, yet the other simply scoffed.

"What do you suppose?" he replied, his tone filled with frustration and sarcasm. "If we lose next week's vote, it'll be all over!" 

Joshua reached out for Jihoon's shoulder, trying to help the other through his temper. 

"Alright Jihoon, listen to me. We still have time. We can still convince the others to vote against the bill." 

"But we need fifty more votes! Where in heaven's name are we going to find those?" He exclaimed and then groaned, resounding through the deserted hall.

"You need to calm down, Jihoon!" Joshua reminded, shaking some sense into him. "You're making a mountain out of a mole hill!"

The dark haired male blinked, stunned by the sudden loudness of his friend's voice. The high had finally subsided in his veins as he huffed and removed himself from Joshua's grasps. 

"Jihoon…"

"I apologize. I'm simply exhausted," he replied, sighing as he turned his back to the other. "While this issue has been particularly draining, my soulmate bond is eating my energy away as well." 

Joshua blinked, wondering what was the matter this time. They had left Jihoon in his dorm room that day as instructed, yet for some reason after that, he seemed to have become more snappish and gloomy. 

Jihoon sighed once more, probably the nth time for today. 

"She…she was crying when she arrived, you know. I have no inkling as to why but it did hurt me…seeing her like that," he continued, now more to himself than to Joshua. "I wanted to comfort her or do something, anything…but she pushed me away, both physically and mentally. It's been weighing on me since then."

Without a word, Joshua walked towards him and placed an understanding tap on his shoulder. "I wish I can offer you some help."

At this point, Jihoon simply shook his head with a downcast smile. "There is nothing we can do about it if she doesn't want me." 

Those words, as he said it, felt more painful than he had anticipated. Yet that was the truth—she had blocked him, in more ways than one. Jihoon wished he knew why yet he had already spent enough sleepless nights on it that he didn't need more.

"In the meantime, it would be nice if we had those fifty votes before the weekend."

◇

Oct. 14th 

Desmere District, Porta Persa

"So, it's here?" You asked, standing in front of a decrepit shop, flanked by two of your friends. "Are you sure it's here?" 

You weren’t really one to judge but the way the roof shingles were about to fall, the dull green paint peeling off the door, and the dusty shop window filled by various junk accumulated over the years, was telling a rather clear story. 

You could even  hardly read the name of the shop. 

“52nd Oppleton street, Esmond Novelty Shop….Yes, without a doubt this is the one!” Soonyoung replied cheerfully, grinning ear to ear, “Come on now! No time to waste!” 

Wonwoo glanced at you with a knowing look as he followed after Soonyoung through the door. Today seemed to be one of those days where Wonwoo was in a rather irritatingly playful mood. “You heard him. No time to waste now, Y/N.”

It wasn’t new for you to be the victim of their teasing, but you didn’t appreciate it either when it comes. Thus, as you rolled your eyes and pursed your lips, you threw your hesitation out of the window. Following closely behind, you heard the charming bell chime above you as soon as you entered, yet the dust which wafted through the air was not as charming as you had feared.

“Welcome to our shop! Feel free to look around and see if anything suits your fancy!” A male voice greeted you three, though you cannot make out a clear image of him as he seemed to be covered by the centuries old dust. 

“Ah, we’re actually looking for someone…” Soonyoung replied, fishing a piece of parchment inside the pocket of his vest. “Um…a Madame Adora?” 

While the three of you seemed to be unsure, the tall burly man, which you have now seen after the dust has settled, nodded in understanding. 

“Yes, yes. Please follow me. Her shop is at the back,” he replied and turned around, not waiting for you to respond. 

Exchanging curious glances, you followed close behind—carefully studying your surroundings as you did. There were a lot of books for one. Stacks upon stacks of leather tomes piled on top of another which was rather deadly if one wrong move was made. The shopkeeper, seemingly used to this dangerous environment, easily navigated his way through the path provided. 

There were a lot of miscellaneous items as well: old shoes, typewriters, some ornate desks which were long forgotten. Dirty porcelain dolls, dull grey candelabras, and even a baby grand piano covered with various knickknacks—essentially, this was a shop of extras: once loved, tossed away and buried under the sands of time. Their fate seemed to have given you a melancholic mood, yet there is little you can do to change it. 

“Where do you find all of these?” Wonwoo asked, curious as he perused over an old book about outdated potions. 

“There are numerous ways,” the man shrugged, dodging a stray pole which was protruding from a pile of junk. “Sometimes we buy them from people who move houses, sometimes they just give it to us, and some just find their way here.”

His words immediately reminded you of the thought that objects do have souls in them. They used to be someone’s important thing; they were once given meaning and context by the people who used to own them. This place had become their new home now, amidst the sea of other objects that were no different.

A light knock on wood snatched you from your thoughts as you averted your attention back to the matter at hand. The shopkeeper had stopped in front of a slightly ajar door, peeking carefully at the space. 

“Madame, these people wish to speak to you,” he called out, yet he was met by silence and a rather loud creaking of a chair being moved. A grainy “let them in” soon followed, though you were not as sure since it was just above a murmur.

Nodding, the shopkeeper moved and allowed you space to walk inside the room. With rather modest postures, the three of you silently entered in file, easily spotting a worn out loveseat, which was probably a bright emerald in its youth, to sit on. It was a rather small space, enough to be a breakfast room, with second hand furniture and astrology-related objects littered around to give a sense of mystique. 

“Robert, fetch those documents for me please,” the old woman ordered, who you hardly noticed with how she was almost covered by the wooden desk before her. The shopkeeper, who was apparently named Robert hummed and disappeared, closing the door shut. 

As soon as he was gone, you scooted on your seat to take a closer look of the old woman. Just as you had anticipated, Madame Adora was petit, but was made to look larger by her bulky dress adorned by stars and moons embroidered in metallic thread. It had the same fabric as her headpiece which was wrapped around her head like a towel. The one which caught most of your attention however, was the large dangling sun and moon earrings which were as big as her head. You wondered if they were as heavy as they looked. 

“Um…we’re—” Wonwoo began but was instantly halted by the Madame with just one hand. 

“I know what you seek, my dear children,” she began, her voice croaky. Probably from smoking a bit too much; you thought as you noticed the ashtray on her table next to the burning sage. 

The three of you raised your eyebrows, wondering what Madame Adora could’ve meant by her words. She seemed to be the eccentric type, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she busted out tarot cards and a crystal ball any minute. 

“You are on your path to fulfill a great purpose for humanity. It is a fate neither you nor this country can avoid,” she continued, making you glance at Wonwoo and Soonyoung. You wanted to ask them if she was sane, but out of courtesy, you decided to keep your mouth shut. 

“O-Of course…that—that’s what we’re trying to do,” Soonyoung replied awkwardly as he shifted on his seat. “But we do need to—”

“Yet be cautioned. This path does not offer refuge nor solace for the tired and weary. You will be accompanied by danger, deceit and the deep dark evils of this world. You will face adversaries stronger and larger than you had anticipated. Poke the bear, and its claws shall appear. Be strong and always seek for the truth.”

“Uh…yes, of course,” you replied, ending with uncertainty. “So the documents—”

“Ah, yes. Robert will be here soon,” she interrupted yet again. “While we wait, would any of you like a tarot reading?” 

“T-tarot reading?” Soonyoung exclaimed, as he leaned forward, not sure if he had heard it right. 

What a surprise. You simply smiled.

Interrupting your gloating, Soonyoung suddenly nudged you with his elbow, making you look at him. 

“What?” you asked, your voice a whisper. 

“Y-you do it, Y/N!” He replied, his expression not betraying the fact that he was a bit afraid. 

“What? Me? Of course not! Do you suppose I believe in such buffoonery?”

“Now, now. It’s just tarot cards, what harm could it possibly do to you? Attack you with a paper cut?” Soonyoung immediately replied, even though he was the one who got frightened first.

“Soonyoung is right, Y/N,” Wonwoo joined in, though you knew he was trying to gang up on you. “Besides, you wouldn’t be so cruel to deny this poor woman an income, would you?”

You closed your eyes, and breathed in—incredibly irritated by this game Wonwoo was playing today. However, you just didn’t have the energy to pick up a fight with how your stomach was beginning to churn once again; the suppressants returning with a vengeance after the pain relievers had worn off.

“Fine then! I’ll do it,” you seethed through gritted teeth as you stood up and walked towards the old woman. “I’ll do it.”

Now much closer, you saw Madame Adora smile warmly at you, which made you feel a bit guilty for getting angry. Sighing, you turn your gaze down to the wooden desk, unable to look into her eyes. 

“Boys,” the Madame suddenly called in her raspy voice. “Robert is waiting for you in the other room to look at the documents. Your friend will join you shortly.”

At this development, both Wonwoo and Soonyoung glanced at you, asking if it was alright for them to leave you. You smiled at them encouragingly. You’ll be fine. It’s just a tarot reading.

“Please don’t start without me,” you turned to them as they left the room. “I’m looking at you Kwon Soonyoung.”

Your friend simply grinned and gave you a salute. “Aye, aye!”

When the door was finally shut and you were left alone with the old woman, you glanced at her, wondering what was about to happen, or if she was going to do something.

“What’s your name, my dear?” she asked, something you hadn’t expected.

“Uh…I’m Y/N,” you soon replied, fiddling with a stray lock. You tried to deduce what the Madame was thinking, but nothing came to mind. She was eccentric and unpredictable; there was no use trying to predict the next set of events.

“Well then, please take a seat, Y/N,” she offered the armchair beside you which you quickly sat on. “Is this your first time getting a reading?”

“Yes, I…” you tried to evaluate your next words. “I’ve never been to a shop like this before.” 

She simply chuckled at you, pulling out a deck of cards from a drawer. “I understand, dear. We readers are few in number, yet believe it or not, just like magical practitioners, it is necessary for us to have proper licenses.” 

With the new information, you raised your brows and nodded, wondering why you haven’t known of this field before. As you continue to swim in your thoughts, Madame Adora began waving the smoking sage around the area. 

Knowing your curious look, she gave a small smile. “To cleanse the space, my dear. Sometimes we carry residual energy from people, objects or situations. It is necessary to cleanse before we begin the reading, so we can only pick up your own energy.”

Nodding once more, you didn’t really know what she was talking about. You were no magi, and your knowledge of magic was limited to alchemy and potions, which was grounded more into the material world than the metaphysical. 

“Alright then. What kind of reading do you wish to do?” She asked and you only gave her a blank look—completely innocent to the kind of readings a reader could perform. 

Without you needing to say a word, the Madame nodded in understanding and explained it to you. 

“A reading, in its base form, is a medium to provide some clarity. The Universe itself provides the answers. So if there is a question, a situation which you wish to seek clarity on, then we could begin with that.” 

Even before the old woman had finished talking, your head was already turning gears and cogwheels. You wanted to ask about the syndicate and the investigative reporting you were doing, yet for some reason, a niggling feeling inside of you was telling you it wasn’t the right question to ask. 

So you searched for it, concentrating on the feeling that you knew you could trust. However, at the end,  you were surprised to where it had led you. You didn’t want to ask about it. It was done, it was there. It didn’t matter anymore. But you felt it. It was so strong that it made shivers creep under your skin. You know you needed to hear it. 

You sighed. It’s just a tarot reading. No harm done. 

“I…uh…” you gazed downwards, finding your wrist wrapped in ribbon to be quite fascinating; deciding for one last time if this was indeed the decision you were making.

“My…uh, soulmate bond.”

You were not sure if she had heard you with how small your voice sounded, but there was no way you would repeat yourself. The way you finally said those words out loud felt like some sort of acceptance; an acknowledgement that a soulmate bond existed between you and that person. Before, it felt like it was simply a figment of your imagination.

To your surprise, the Madame nodded at you, smiling proudly. “Then it shall be. Let us begin.”

You nodded back, watching as she began to expertly shuffle the cards. 

“I will be doing a simple spread for you. A first card or cards would explain your energy, and then his energy. Afterwards, your strengths and weaknesses, then the state of this connection. Finally, we will be asking for the future of your soulmate connection.”

Unaware of how specific tarot can be, you only stared at her quite agile hands, not fully understanding everything. 

“Please be reminded, dear that energies do change. What is shown here is simply the current energy of the soulmate bond. You and your soulmate still do have the agency to change your future, yet for now, this is what it is.”

You definitely liked the sound of that. If tarot had been in any way fatalistic, you would’ve soured on it in an instant. You always believed that you had some semblance of control over your life, or at least you wanted to. 

Quietly, the Madame began drawing out cards, mostly cards which jumped out while she was shuffling. As she began to neatly arrange the cards into a grid-like form, you watched out for any reaction or expression from her. As it turned out, the most you could get was a slight raise of a brow. 

When it was all done, she flipped the deck over and placed it beside the spread. Peering overing, you saw that there were a lot of cards, some were upright and the others upside down. You wondered what these all meant.

“Well then, my dear,” she spoke to you, glancing all over the spread and then nodded in understanding. “Let us begin with your energy—Eight of Swords, Queen of Swords reversed and the Hermit reversed.”

“Are those good or bad?” you asked, curious, yet the old woman simply tightened her lips.

“What I could say is that, you may seem to be trapped in your situation right now, whatever your situation may be. Look at this woman in the Eight of Swords,” she replied, holding out the card to you. “ She is blindfolded and surrounded by these swords. She seems to be trapped and imprisoned. It could be your thoughts or what you are telling yourself, as swords symbolizes our mind and how we communicate. You could be suffering from self-doubt.”

Taking in her words, you could feel a lump forming in your chest, knowing that she was indeed right. 

“And then we have the Queen of Swords, which is you. When she is upright, she is a force to be reckoned with: intelligent, independent and the speaker of truth, however dear, we have her in reverse, which only shows the shadow side of this energy. The Hermit in reverse is telling me the same thing. My dear, I must apologize, yet this is what I see. As you continue to trap yourself with negative thoughts, you are slowly closing off your heart, becoming coldhearted and bitter, leading you into more loneliness and isolation. Whatever has caused you to become like this was incredibly painful that you have been pushed into fear, creating these defensive walls which then became the swords blindsiding you at this moment.”

You were silent, knowing full well what the old woman was talking about. You wanted to be angry at her for speaking a truth you were trying to avoid all this time, yet there was only sadness in your heart. 

“I’m so sorry dear, but this is what the cards say, but please rest assured that your energy could still change. Considering the strengths of this connection, I have high hopes that this soulmate bond will succeed,” Madame Adora consoled you, seeing the deep hurt in your eyes. 

“It’s fine,” you replied, swallowing the bile forming in your throat. “Please continue.”

Hesitantly, the Madame moved to the two cards beside the first ones she had read. “For your soulmate’s energy: the Two of Pentacles in reverse and the Hierophant.”

“As for now, your soulmate is in an imbalance. Look at how this person is trying to juggle the two pentacles in the card. He could hardly balance them at all. It could possibly be that your soulmate finds it difficult to manage their career and this connection with you, as this is a pentacles card which usually pertains to finances and the material world. Or, it could possibly be that they cannot find the balance between their traditional values and the constantly changing world with the Hierophant. Their views are definitely being challenged by you and your connection. Nevertheless, they seem to have felt your withdrawal and decided to focus on their career instead, which has now become two burdens on their shoulders.”

Making a downcast look, you felt guilty for making him feel that way. If he had indeed felt your pain through the bond, then he was no better than you. He was hurt too and the thought of you unintentionally inflicting pain on someone was something you were not keen on. 

“Now then, let’s  move to the strengths of this connection with the Chariot and Strength cards, which are incredibly powerful cards to have. Even this whole spread is powerful, considering how much Major Arcana you have.”

You leaned your head to the side. “Oh, is…is that so?”

“Yes. The Major Arcana holds more significance than the Minor Arcana, that is why having numerous cards from this suit could mean that this connection could be life changing for the both of you. With that said, having the Chariot and Strength implies that the both of you have a tremendous amount of strength and willpower. You and your soulmate are influential people who will stop at nothing to achieve your goals. That is why, even through all the pain and difficulties this bond will bring, this connection will survive.”

Not knowing what to make of that, you simply nodded. You were unsure if you do want this connection to survive. You hardly know your soulmate and you had no interest in doing so. You had long abandoned the idea that you will find love in a soulmate bond.

“Well now, look here, Y/N. I have been called upon to draw three cards for the weaknesses of this connection. We have the Five of Swords, the Nine of Swords in reverse and the High Priestess in reverse,” she continued, showing you the three cards.

“At this moment, there is conflict and disagreement in this connection. It could possibly be that the both of you have fought and that was the reason for your stagnant energy and his withdrawal, and with the Nine of Swords in reverse, usually this card means your anxieties and fears, and in reverse, it could be a release of those negative energies. However, in this reading, it seems like the both of you are hiding this inner turmoil in your hearts. Look at the image here,” the Madame pointed at the Nine of Swords.

“The woman is crying on her bed at night while these swords loom above her—she is crying alone, only the night is her companion, when everyone else is asleep and oblivious to her pain. In a way, you both are mirroring each other. You try to keep this conflict in your heart, making you feel disenchanted with this connection. You had lost hope of finding this love you seek. They on the other hand, try to bury themselves in their career or material possessions. They want stability and a sense of normalcy, yet cannot find it. The Universe has been providing divine guidance, yet with the High Priestess in reverse, the both of you cannot hear or perceive the signs.”

“This is further clarified with the Hanged Man and the Tower, both in reverse. These two cards represent the state of this connection, which further confirms the stagnation and fear of change in this connection. I felt this in the beginning when I was tapping to your energy, but dear, have you been blocking your soulmate bond?”

For some reason, you could only look at her and speak no words. There was fear in your eyes and guilt in your gut. It felt like you had done something unforgivable. You cast a glare to your arm, unable to utter any words of admittance. 

“Dear, may I see your wrist?” Madame Adora asked softly. You were hesitant at first but eventually gave in, pulling the ribbon that was wrapped around your wrist and placed it on the table. 

Gently, she examined the dull black bars on your skin as you watched curiously. You would ask what she was doing if she hadn’t begun speaking once again. 

“You are in pain, dear. Deep, deep pain you need to heal from. It’s not a fresh wound, but scars inflicted from so long ago yet continuously being pried open over the years. You keep on ignoring, burying these scars, hoping that time would help it heal someday,” she said, her fingers on the marks. 

“Yet when this soulmate bond came, it had forced you to face them even if you have no wish to, even if you were not ready to. This bond is making your fears rise to the surface—the fear of heartbreak and of disappointment. Thus, instead of waiting for someone else to do this to you, you decided to nip it in the bud. You try to convince yourself that you wish to be alone, that you are comfortable alone, yet deep inside you, you long for someone to share the heaviness which weighs down your heart.” 

Without even realizing, you had furrowed your brows and was glaring at the offending soulmate mark on your skin. There was a feeling deep inside you which refuses to accept the old woman's words. It was too painful to acknowledge the yearning that was deeply-rooted in your heart. It was too embarrassing to say that you had made a mistake.

You were simply protecting yourself. Those scars had long healed itself. You had already cut ties with your father and that was the end of the story. There is nothing more to talk about. There was no need to face any more of this. There is no need to reconcile with your soulmate. 

Gritting your teeth, you could sense anger rise deep inside of you. 

“But dear let me reassure you that despite everything, you will come together in the end. For the future of this connection, you have the Two of Cups which signifies a union. It is my soulmate card because as you can see, these two people are sharing, exchanging cups—”

—!!

You slammed your fist on the table abruptly, the cards jumping in disarray. Madame Adora looked at you sadly as you snatched your wrist away, holding it close to your chest. Your eyes were burning with rage, yet the old woman knew that that anger was rooted from deep longing and sadness.

“I don’t want it,” you muttered in a low voice, and then, after a short pause, began shouting as if it would relieve the guilt in your chest. “I don’t want it! I don’t want this! Could you please leave me alone!”

Without waiting for a reply, you ran out from the room, from the shop. You were in no capacity to continue the investigation with your friends when you are in this state of instability. You just want to leave and disappear for a while. 

Just for a while.

◇

Back inside the room, Madame Adora was greeted by Soonyoung and Wonwoo, who were surprised to know that you had left running out of the shop. 

“Ah, did Y/N lose her temper again?” Wonwoo asked as he had heard you shouting earlier. “We must apologize, Madame.”

“No, it is I who wishes for your pardon. I must have hurt your friend,” she replied. “Please give this to her as an apology.” 

The two men watched as the Madame pulled out a small box from one of the desk’s drawers and placed it on the table. They wondered what the Madame had said in the reading that made you lose composure. 

“We will deliver this to her immediately,” Soonyoung replied as he took the box and dropped it inside his pocket. “And thank you for the documents.”

“It is meant for you. I had been called upon to buy the desk which it was stored in, and when you came to this shop in search for such an item, I knew it was meant for this purpose,” Madame Adora replied, intertwining her fingers together. “But more than that, please watch over Y/N.”

Both Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged glances. “W-we will.”

“Simply watch over her and give her support. She is going through something which only she can resolve.”

As the Madame said those words, her gaze was caught by the single card by her side. It was the card at the back of the deck—usually meant to summarize the energy of the whole reading. 

It was the Lovers.

◇

It was already dreadfully dark when you had decided to return to your dorm room.

The wisteria trees were already a midnight grey, the unlit path, a dark purple. Only a few streetlamps offered illumination through the pitch-black night as you waded through the campus in silence.

You took your time alone—wandering on random alleyways, sitting on deserted park benches, watching people pass by as they live their own lives, with their own problems. Nothing seemed real during those hours of isolation in the midst of the crowd. It was like the pain was too far away for you to reach; the events from that afternoon too far away to be reality.

Yet you knew you needed to return somehow. Thus, with eyes exhausted from crying tears unshed, and the ribbon you used to conceal your soulmate bond in your hands, you opened the door to your dorm room and saw its gauche splendor in shameless display.

With a sigh, you wrapped the ribbon on your wrist haphazardly, not caring if not seemed sloppy as long as the black bars were far from your sight.

Walking to the common room, you scanned the area for your roommate, wondering if he was asleep or still at his office on a Friday night. It would be better if you didn’t see him, you thought. There would be less explaining to do.

Yet the common room was depressingly empty. It had occurred to you that you never even spent much time in there as much as you would’ve liked. Was it simply because you were avoiding him or you were just not interested in sharing the same space with him, you didn’t know.

As you move past the wooden dining table and towards the kitchenette for a glass of water, you bumped into something fleshy and soft which definitely made you shriek and fall onto the floor in a painful thud.

“What…on earth?” you muttered, gradually coming down from your sudden adrenaline rush, your sight refocusing.

To your astonishment, you found one Lee Jihoon lying on the floor, obviously drunk by the whisky which was once inside the bottle he was clinging on to for dear life. Apprehensively, you crawled towards him, to check if he was still breathing. Yet before you could touch him, his dark brown eyes were on to you, still cold and jaded as the nights of December.

“Jihoon—“

You were about to reprimand him for bringing in prohibited alcohol inside the dorms and for sleeping on the floor during a cold autumn day, when you realized that his skin was red. Bright red.

Concern immediately shoots up to your brain as you reach out to him.

“Jihoon!” You exclaimed, shaking him to sobriety. “Jihoon! Are you intolerant to alcohol?”

Despite your concern, he could only hum groggily. “It’s…fine.”

“What do you mean ‘it’s fine’? How many bottles have you drunk?!” You asked, looking around and saw several bottles of the same whisky he was holding. “Oh god, you even chose one with high alcohol content! You shouldn’t be drinking this.”

“It’s…fine, Y/N. I only had a few… just a few…”

He simply groaned in reply, lying comfortably on the floor without a care in the world. You only stared at him in exasperation, brushing your hair as you sighed.

You felt an urge to just leave him like that on the floor until dawn breaks. He can take care of himself, and being drunk probably isn’t something new to him. Yet you knew you can’t just do that. Whether or not he was Lee Jihoon, you had the obligation to not leave him to die of alcohol poisoning or of hypothermia.

The last one was a stretch, you admit but still, there was no way you could leave him like that as someone who tries to be compassionate at every point of day. At least, the sofa was a lot better than the cold floor.

Reaching for his arm and placing it around your shoulders, you tried to carry Jihoon to the sofa just a few steps away. Yet you hadn’t anticipated how heavy he actually was as you barely dragged him across the room, huffing and panting. You were not one with the best fitness

“Come on, Jihoon. Hold yourself up!  You’re simply too heavy for me to carry!” You exclaimed as you tried not to stumble on the way.

“Mmn…I’m sorry...I’m trying…” he drawled, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused—obvious indications that he has drunk too much for his own good.

Just a little bit…

Taking that one step remaining, you immediately tossed Jihoon to the soft sofa with a long and exhausted sigh. He only groaned, his hair in a disarray. You had only noticed now that he still had his work clothes on: a grey suit piece sans the tie which he must’ve tossed somewhere in the immediate past.

He had his eyes closed as you sat closely to him, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath. Jihoon seemed to be in peace this way, far from the constant creases in his brow or on his lips. Brushing away a stray lock of hair from his face, you noticed the angles on his face, the fullness of his cheeks, the rosiness of his lips. Was he always this familiar to you? It was a question you had no immediate answers to. Yet you had never anticipated to end your exhausting day with a drunk Lee Jihoon, yet that’s where you are now.

“I should give him some medicine to ease the redness,” you muttered to yourself as you stood up, your mind already listing the ingredients you needed to make one tablet, but before you did, a hand had stopped you in your tracks.

“Please…don’t leave me,” his voice, still lethargic, echoed behind you and you were forced to turn, your eyes captured by his unrelenting gaze.

“Jihoon…” you spoke softly, returning to your seat beside him as you helped him sit up clumsily. “But you’re still flushing.”

“Doesn’t matter…” he replied back, leaning unsteadily until you caught him in your arms. Now he was peacefully resting his head on your shoulder, burying himself into your embrace.

“J-Jihoon…?”

To say that you were wholly surprised was an understatement. You were floundering and unable to make anything out of this situation. This was something incredibly out of character for the Lee Jihoon you thought you knew.

“Y/N…I must….must apologize,” he began, which definitely made you furrow your brows in bewilderment. “I’m so sorry… I—I failed you…”

You stared into the air incredulously, not understanding what page Jihoon was in.

“You didn’t fail me,” you replied back. “You didn’t fail anyone, Jihoon…”

However, it seemed like your words fell into deaf ears as he snuggled up to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“I’m so sorry…Y/N…please…please forgive me…”

Concluding that this was probably one drunk confession, you allowed him to find comfort in your presence, placing a consoling hand on his back as he continued to apologize to you.

This was a side to him you hadn’t expected to see. It was vulnerable, raw and unapologetically real—words you never thought you’d associate with Lee Jihoon. Yet there you were, as you hugged him back, finding solace in his arms as well when there was no one in the world you could share your burdens with.

“It’s okay, Jihoon…” you replied to him as you closed your eyes. “At least you tried, and it’s good enough for me.”

“Yet…yet…why can’t I feel you…?” he cried out, his voice clearly in pain. “Why can’t I reach you…? I…I always…alwaysss wanted to know you…to hold you like this…”

“Jihoon…”

You wished there was something you could say or do, yet you didn’t even know what he was talking about. It felt like the two of you were talking in a circle of riddles; finding yourselves in different pages.

“Y/N…please don’t be angry…please….please….don’t reject me,” he continued on as if in a trance. “I’m so sorry….so sorryyy….”

There was something in his words, or the way his voice shook that had pierced right through you. You wondered what you had done to him to plead to you like this. Yes, you did push him away a few weeks ago, yet that was the farthest you had gone to hurt him. You couldn’t understand what was happening, nevertheless, you still felt called upon to take action.

Moving your hand, you brushed his soft locks gently.

“I won’t reject you, Jihoon. I won’t push you away. I promise you.”

◇

PARLIAMENT PASSES BILL CRACKING DOWN ON CILVEKAN NATIONALS by Jeon Wonwoo

The Porta Persa Edition, October 27th

 In a historic vote, the Parliament has passed a bill on harsher travel restrictions for Cilvekan nationals as well as an extensive program which allows for the investigation of all Cilvekans in Porta Persa. This bill marks a tantamount win on Rep. Kang Jinho and his Conservative party—warranting a speculation of a bid on the Prime Minister seat.

This soon-to-be law highlights restrictions set on the amount of Cilvekan nationals leaving and entering Porta Persa wherein local governments can monitor their actions inside the country. It is also in the prerogative of the local government to deny entry to any Cilvekan wishing to enter.  According to Rep. Kang, it is necessary to be able to detect any sort of preemptive strike against Porta Persa to avoid endangering the security of the people.

This bill also boasts a program which, in conjunction with the restrictions, shall implement a vast inspection of all Cilvekan nationals present in the country. They are to undergo a thorough investigation conducted by the police and shall be warranted to arrests if ill-intentions against Porta Persa is proven.

With this bill, according to the Parliament, the government shall be able to ensure that the national security of Porta Persa shall not be threatened by any means, even if it meant sacrificing privacy and material gains. Sacrifice is and always will be inevitable on the road to peace…

◇

In the pitch black darkness of the night, echoes of footfalls resounded across the streets of Porta Persa. There was breaking of glass, breaking of wood, and shouts of women. 

Fear was high in the scent of the night. The streets of Porta Pera enshrined by men and women—rounded up in handcuffs and tied by accusations. Half the town was awake and afraid, half the town asleep and aloof. 

The night had just began.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

-Hyeri

[jarofrebuke-transcripts]

Jar of Rebuke Episode 7 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 7: Shifts

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

JARED

So today I'm actually recording this from the lab I've had the room to myself for hours, just as it's been for a while now. Ever since my little vacation I've had more and more lab time to myself. It's nice? But also I just feel more lonely. I can play my music or whatever, but I do almost miss Dr. Castillo's presence. I guess I'd just gotten used to it no matter how weird it is at times. But having Grove around has helped immensely with the loneliness at home, at least. He's super cuddly, which I never expected from a literal hellhound. But Milo did mention the possibility of me being... touch starved? Which might also explain why the attention just feels so weird. I had never even heard of that before. I mean Dr. Daman has never brought it up. But again knowing that most hellhounds are not at all the cuddly sort... oh well, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth. [door creaks open] Oh, uh, hey Jamie!

JAMIE

(to herself) Alright, oh shit! (to Jared) Um, hey! Sorry, I thought this lab would be empty.

JARED

I mean I normally would be out on the field at this time, but it's a bit too cold today. Can I help you with something?

JAMIE

Nah, nah. To be honest, I kind of steal your office to nap during my break. This weather is killer on my body and I'm just, well, I'm tired.

JARED

Well if you need a nap, I can keep quiet? Or I mean, I can even duck out if you'd prefer, I don't want to stop you from getting any rest if you need it.

JAMIE

(small laugh) No no no no no, that's, that's fine. I'm... I'll just go grab a cup of coffee. You want a cup? I can grab one for ya, no problem.

JARED

Uh yeah, yeah, that'd be nice actually!

JAMIE

How do you take it?

JARED

Just grab a handful of sugar and some things of creamer. I like it pretty sweet.

JAMIE

You got it. We get crap coffee anyways. I'll be back.

JARED

[door closes] Thanks! That's Dr. Everett, though she never really lets me call her that. She's great. We've talked a few times in the hall mostly. Sometimes we catch each other in the elevator or end up chatting at the coffee machine. We've never hung out outside of work, though. I mean, hell, the only co-worker I've ever hung out with is Milo. We, we didn't hang out much when we were lab partners, but we started hanging out more recently. I don't know if I'd prefer to have them as a lab partner again or what we have now. It's nice to have, I don't know, friends? Anyways, the weather's getting colder so we've been working inside more. Yeah we bundle up and go out sometimes, but not as much as we were a month or so ago. I've mostly been working with Dr. Castillo to go over old recordings that we gathered. With us being lab partners we typically are also project partners, though not exclusively. It seems like recently she's been assigned to a project that's more in line with what she used to be doing. Something far less dangerous, which she seems to be very happy about. Whatever it is, it's keeping her out of the lab a good amount. So here I am, alone, as usual.

After I got back from my little vacation I went to see Dr. Daman for another appointment. She asked what I got up to so I told her about taking in a dog. I didn't tell her about how Grove isn't, you know, like most dogs, but I told her how nice it is to have Grove around. I mean, heck, that dog knows when I'm waking up from a nightmare and is always by my side! I thought that she'd be happy about it! But she seemed, I don't know, disappointed? She asked if I thought that I really needed to keep a dog around just to manage. Her tone was concerned, but her words? I don't know, it just… it made me feel bad about having Grove around. Made me feel bad for finding him so comforting. I told her I guess not, but it does really help. I've also gotten pretty attached to Grove. It's just nice to have him around even when I'm not in a panic or whatever. She gave a soft sigh and then just moved on, as if she wasn't happy about my answer. Even though she's always taking so many notes I don't know how much of me she really remembers. Like she doesn't really mention my friends by name, ever. I say names like Holly or Darius, or I mention Laura and Ester, and I always have to re-explain who they are. Holly, you know, the person from the snipe hunt? Or Darius, you know, the guy that I hung out with on his birthday? And she just takes more notes. I hardly feel like I'm getting much from her anymore. She asked me about the audio journal again and actually seemed pretty happy that I'm still taking her advice. And listen, I get it, I get it, it feels really good to know that someone is taking your professional advice, and doing this really does help. But I don't like how she presses on it. I mean, I almost want to stop doing this out of sheer spite sometimes.

After a bit of talking Dr. Daman mentioned that there's going to be a change in our sessions. My stomach sank. She said that I need to come in more frequently which was weird considering the fact that I feel like I'm doing fine! In fact, I feel like I'm doing better! But she's insisted that I need more help in this whole remembering thing. Help that she alone can't provide, apparently. I don't know, maybe she could have provided the help if she tried to actively help me remember, instead of just leaving me to remember naturally. So now there's going to be another person getting involved. I haven't met him yet, I meet him my next session. Apparently he's helped patients who have received injuries that have caused memory issues in the past. I wanted to ask why I didn't just see him from the get-go, but whatever. Next session, I am meeting a Mr. Liam Zimmer. Not a doctor, like most of the people around here end up being. He's a psychologist though, and according to Daman, he's a damn good one. Though those weren't her exact words, of course. She spoke highly of his abilities, though by her tone I can't tell how she personally feels about Mr. Zimmer. She's not as blatant in her cheerful disliking of things as Dr. Castillo is. Mr. Zimmer will focus on my amnesia, Dr. Daman will work on my other day-to-day evaluations, and Dr. Rahal is still my general physician for these headaches and whatever else happens.

Speaking of headaches, they've kinda come back again. Not as fiercely as before, more annoying than anything else really. Not debilitating by any means, but my gods! Are they a nuisance. Amir is trying to help me find other methods of dealing with them since medicine doesn't really work. Started drinking more water, which I'm objectively just bad at drinking enough water in general. I also have started some light workouts like twice a week, nothing too strenuous, just enough to get the blood pumping. It kind of sucks but I know it'll get easier over time. Amir said that all of my vitals are normal which is definitely good, but like, I don't know. Still a bit annoying sometimes that I can't look over my own records. I think next time I get a scan done, I'm going to ask to see it. I don't think that he's the kind of person to keep things from his own patients, so I'm sure he'll show me if I just ask.

Not gonna lie I looked up Mr. Zimmer in the work database. After trying to look into Dr. Kelder, I've gotten a bit curious to look and see what I can find about others. And if this guy is going to be helping me do a deep dive into my own brain, yeah I want to know about him. It says he's been with the Enclosure for a few years, mostly working in rehabilitation. But that doesn't explain why they didn't have me see him sooner. Like if he's literally in the rehabilitation program. What the hell have they been considering my case, huh? According to his records there was a period of time a couple of years ago that he was involved in some highly guarded cases. Not the general, you know, “can't discuss my patient’s work file” thing, but I mean high level clearance, password guarded. The Enclosure seems to really shuffle people around a lot. A lot of his methods, by what I could find, seemed to be experimental.

So when I say how unsure I am about all this I cannot emphasize how much I'm not exactly feeling this one. I hate sudden change, and this is kind of a big deal! They didn't even ask if I wanted this, they just told me that this is how it was going to be. Not even Dr. Daman seems too thrilled but considering how often she seems huffy with me that might just be her usual state. She's rarely pleased with any progress I make. She used to at least seem curious but nowadays she's more and more sensitive to me developing my own coping mechanisms outside of what she suggests. And I don't know, it just doesn't feel very good. And it's not like that I can find another therapist anyways. I mean Wichton has a fairly small but a very good network of counselors and social workers, but not any that I could see about my specific needs. To say I need specialists is putting it lightly. I feel like anyone outside of the Enclosure just wouldn't be able to help. I mean, if they are from outside of the Enclosure I can't tell them anything. I wouldn't be able to explain what I do at work. I can't go into my personal relationships are being affected by these things, the headaches, the bad dreams, the not remembering anything! So Dr. Daman and Mr. Zimmer it is.

But I'm also doing more at home to try and work on that stress which is actually really helping. Again Grove has been a huge help, he always seems to know when I need him the most and he'll pull me back into the moment. It's nice! And I've been spending some time with Holly, Darius, and some other folks in town. I've gotten this weekly routine of stopping by Mrs. Weddington's bakery to pick up some sweets and also at least once a week stopping by the Chronicle Inn for a meal to see Laura and Ester. I'm starting with the people and places that I'm most comfortable before I start branching out. Though I'll admit, whenever I go to the Chronicle Inn I can't help but consider booking myself a room again and seeing if I could speak with the Blue Lady. I mean, at least to get her name, at least to ask more questions. Should I get on that? I mean, no time like the present.

I'm also working to not lose myself to fixations, uh, trying to balance work-related studies and well, I guess studies of myself. Balancing all that out with relaxing things. I got another crossword book from Christine. I have no idea where she keeps getting them but they're great, honestly. It's been a bit harder to focus on them recently but I am going to try. I've tried cooking more, but I'm not really good at it. As Holly would say, I somehow burn water. But Darius has offered to come by and teach me some recipes so we're gonna hang out here soon so that he can help me learn some basic dishes. And considering that Holly wasn't too phased by the children knocking at the door, in fact they said it was cool, it makes me feel a little better at the idea of Darius actually spending some time over at my place. Grove is very protective of me, but he got along very well with Holly and doesn't seem to have much issue with people when I'm walking him. I'm pretty sure that it won't be an issue when Darius comes by. I warned him, but he seems excited to meet Grove, so we'll see how that goes. I feel like it'll go well.

[papers rustling] I think here soon, I have to go back out onto the field though. Not today, but I'm expecting within the next few weeks. A file that I have here is something about some kids wandering the woods not too terribly far away from here so I think I'll be going out to investigate that soon. The file says something here about them being the ghosts of victims of some unethical doctor that tested on children suffering from a hydrocephalus or water in the brain. An old haunted mansion with a wide range of things, but the most notable are the lingering spirits of those kids. Or it may actually be the kids themselves? Immortal or transformed into whatever it may be. So I'm probably gonna be going out and taking a look at that here soon. But I'm not gonna worry about it until I get that official email telling me to head out.

Well, uh, a new therapist, potential lead… uh, well my week other than that was great. I didn't really record much after I took Grove in. I hung out with Holly. We watched a few weird movies, played some video games together. They brought over their own gaming system and we just hooked it up to my TV.  It was a lot of fun, and they got along very well with Grove. We did talk a bit about the whole gendered language issue. I started it by telling them about my whole situation with naming Grove, and it kind of just naturally led to the broader discussion of it. I also brought it up with Milo a little while later and both Holly and Milo asked if I'm non-binary. I wasn't expecting that question. I also wasn't expecting how right it would feel when I looked into it. Like, I don't mind people calling me sir or he all that much, but I just don't feel like the man that they see me as. Holly asked if I wanted to try they/them pronouns instead. But the pronouns aren't really what matters that much. I mean, as long as the person is addressing me in a way that I find respectful I don't really care much about pronouns. Milo made a similar offer, saying that if I ever wanted to try a new name or different pronouns to just let them know. I like my name, it's something that I have that's me, the only real tie that I have to my past, you know? And the pronouns thing? We'll see. Haven't talked to Dr. Daman about it yet. I really don't know if she'll care either way, in the dismissive way, not the accepting way. I have a feeling that Dr. Rahal would be accepting, he seems like the sort of type, the sort of person that would be accepting on this sort of thing. I might talk to Darius about it too. I don't know, I just have a feeling that he'd understand. Or at least be willing to listen. We've been starting to really open up to each other more about stuff, getting more personal. With that said I really don't know how much longer I can keep him entirely in the dark about my whole amnesia thing. He's smart, he's definitely gotta notice that I don't talk about my past. I'm surprised that he doesn't find me boring as hell to be completely honest. I mean, I'm glad he doesn't, I'm glad he likes to hang out.

Speaking of ties to the past last time that I was at the Chronicle Inn to pick up more dog treats for Grove, because I may or may not give him more treats than would be healthy for a normal dog. Spoiled rotten. I caught a glimpse of the inn's guest book, names dated back many years, and it was also strange to look over my own entry. I almost hadn't written in it but Ester reminded me on my way out a while ago to fill it out. And how could I say no? It got me thinking, like, should I go back? The Blue Lady insisted that she knew me and that must mean that she knows more about this whole situation. Since my headaches have been a lot better it might be a good time to go check in again and see what I can, you know, figure out from her. Figure out what she knows in a way that wouldn't leave me just with more questions like last time. Hell, maybe I could call work and see if they want to come fix some of my housing again. I'm sure Ester and Laura wouldn't mind if I brought Grove. I mean he may be huge but he's a really well-behaved softy most of the time. He does wander off at night, likely to do general hellhound things, but he hasn't caused much trouble. At least that's nothing that's gotten back to me. Well, I'll look into that.

I'm also pretty excited for time with Darius, I don't know if he'll stay the night like Holly did. My couch is pretty cozy, I mean I doze off on it all the time. But with the knocking at night and everything else, I don't... I'm worried I'd scare him off. I wasn't too worried about scaring Holly off with just, um, how they generally are. But I don't know how Darius would be about it. Guess all that I can do is just give him an heads up and let him decide if he wants to chance it. I mean, Holly's been trying to get Darius and I'd hang out more for whatever reason. [phone buzzes] Oh, alright, time to start getting ready for lunch. Um, I guess I might as well wrap up. This is Dr.- oh uh…

JAMIE

You won't believe the gossip I've got! I had a run-in with Todd in the elevator.

JARED

Wow, quickest way to have your day ruined! What did he say?

JAMIE

(small laugh) Well, he saw I wasn't using the wheelchair today, right? So I got all cocky and asked if my legs were finally working today. Even if I wasn't in so much pain, I wouldn't want to deal with that shit. So I asked him when his brain would finally start working. He looked like he was gonna have a conniption. But what's he gonna do, fire one of his most experienced people? Okay!

JARED

I would give my whole paycheck to be there next time you pull that. I would, god, I wish that I could say stuff like that to him.

JAMIE

Anyway, I was thinking of taking my lunch soon. You wanna pick up something in town? I could use the company.

JARED

Oh that that sounds great, yeah! You've been to the Royal Cow? They've got some pretty good food but their desserts are the best. Here, let me just wrap up here and um, this is Dr. Jared Hel signing off.

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr. Jared Hel. Voice of Jamie Everett is Jenny O’Sullivan. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on social media for updates. You can support us on Patreon or Podhero by following the links in our episode description. And special thanks to our patreon supporters, Tristan, Perry, Devin, Becky, Nico, and Joyce.

[pvtbenjamin-blog]

The Dust That Thinks

NASA File

Designation: Classified R9

The following are extracts from the diary of Dr Kaitlin P. Brite, assigned to the mission as a civilian observer; her background is in evolutionary biology and bioinformatics. Subject passed the program A.0i and following debriefing was classified B.i.

 February 7

I’ve had the same dream off and on for the past two years. I dream that I am looking at my face and that the lower half of my jaw is missing completely. I stare into my own eyes, unsure of whether I can detect a scream, or if I’m even trying to speak. The face of the other me just sits there, mute, surrounded by nothing but darkness and then I wake up.

So when they ask me what I dream about, I lie.

We’ve been keeping dream journals for the last four months and bring them with us to our weekly ‘Psy-Fit Sessions’; they give things these names, they can’t resist. At the third session several of us were reprimanded for inappropriate doodling in our dream journals.

It’s been clear since early on that what they fear most isn’t a technical or mechanical error – it’s us. Their faith in physics is rock solid; their faith in us is non-existent. Two words have accompanied each of NASA’s darkest hours; Human Error.

We riff on it,

“That guy’s got a screw loose.” –

“I hope you mean that literally, Jim.”

One guy, one of the Navy guys, said a white paper had gone around from the Prep Team appealing for a return to sending chimps into space, “They take less time, less testing, and they give better interviews”. He was a great guy, he reminded me of the first guys in the program; the PhD jocks, the Supermen. I expected all the military recruits to live up to that image, few of them did. If anything they seem to feel the stress more than us civilians, we go back to our day jobs when all this is over. But they are being assessed, they are on a ladder, and for them it’s never over.

I guess the only other dreams I really remember are of the wheat fields. In my dream it’s night but the moon is so clear and so strong that as the wind washes over the field causing a tide, the colour changes from silver to gold. Sometimes I hear my grandmother’s voice, reading to me.

A precondition of prep, along with the hours in Psy-fit, are our numerous and relentless physicals. Six bioinformatics candidates were invited from different labs but only two of us made it into the final program and I was the only one in the programme to be approved mission-ready. I’ve always been healthy, remarkably so. They don’t say these things out loud, but you can tell this comes with cachet here, that it invokes a sort of Darwinian deference.

In week two we were asked to memorise a nursery rhyme to recite when having our heart rate monitored on the treadmill, The House that Jack Built. Sweating and panting, wired up to innumerable machines, we go through the same physical and mental exercise; they gave us a prompt line from anywhere in the verse and ask us to deliver the rest from that point. Over-heat a computer and check how much RAM you can still rely upon.

 This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cat that killed the rat

That ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the man all tattered and torn

That kissed the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the priest all shaven and shorn

That married the man all tattered and torn

That kissed the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt                                                                

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cock that crowed in the morn

That waked the priest all shaven and shorn

That married the man all tattered and torn

That kissed the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the farmer sowing his corn

That kept the cock that crowed in the morn

That waked the priest all shaven and shorn

That married the man all tattered and torn

That kissed the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the horse and the hound and the horn

That belonged to the farmer sowing his corn

That kept the cock that crowed in the morn

That waked the priest all shaven and shorn

That married the man all tattered and torn

That kissed the maiden all forlorn

That milked the cow with the crumpled horn

That tossed the dog that worried the cat

That killed the rat that ate the malt

That lay in the house that Jack built.

 Feb 8-21: no records entered

Feb 22

It occurs to me that there are hardly any mirrors at NASA. It’s not that the place is completely austere exactly - there are photographs lining the public hallways, you see charts, models, a sculpture or two, sitting neglected in the airless lobby – but no mirrors. Even in the bathroom, you wash your hands staring at the wall.

We spent our first few weeks in and out of the main buildings; forms, handshakes, meetings, waiting. Then it was over to the training base; fewer faces, fewer names, routine, running, memorising. There was a lot to learn, naturally. You come to understand that up there, you will cease to function, in the way that you’d typically understand it anyway. Your body can’t do what it normally does; you have to think differently, you are learning to do things for the first time again. You will have to put in ten times the effort for the same result. You are training to become a child, inside a toy, suspended in the universe.

This is the maiden all forlorn.

The precise terms of mission statement vary but the reason given is always the same: we are to advance human understanding of the universe.

I’m coming to think that the whole mission is in fact an exercise in keep internal from external, to deal in vacuums. We are kept apart from this world that we might be made ready to explore new ones. We are asked to report on our psychological state but not to reflect. External must never meet internal, no gaps in the suit, no screws loose.

 Feb 22- March 03: no records entered

March 4

They warn you about the possible side-effects, of the isolation, of removing ourselves from everything familiar. Depression, insomnia, anxiety, dissociation.

Dissociation is the one that interested me most, to be of your body but not of your mind, to be - for a short time – blissfully unaware of your own existence.

I tell the psychiatrist, the psychologist and the nurses at my meetings about the wheat field. I only did one semester of Freud and Jung and the basics, but I can’t see the harm in a wheat field. I imagine it makes me sound wholesome, grounded. I explain that in the dream, my grandmother’s voice is reading me Wuthering Heights. I never really understood the love story, but I thought of Cathy and Heathcliff out on the moors, that they must be like my windy wheat field, that they stand for every barren place.

In all of the sessions, I try to give them something; I make a good show of polite, respectful, engaged. But in truth I couldn’t have cared less. When we go into a laboratory and talk about ‘behaviour’, we are describing that which can be measured, tested, predicted. But the Psy-guys, they can predict nothing. They can test nothing. They look at the human mind, and they are measuring nothing.

Launch is t-16 days.

This is the horse and the hound and the horn.

 March 5-8: no records entered

March 9

The moon has only reflected light and its gravity only serves to tell us about our own. So where are we going?

In space, certain words are released from their existence on earth; they float out of mouths, into ears, unencumbered where they were once weighted down with specific meaning. They can still be used of course but must be tethered by guide-ropes of further words, of a firmer context.

When they perfect the robots, men will be sent into space for novelty alone; the way everyone loves to see a dog on a surfboard.

 Mission Dates March 10 – September 19

October 3

I’ve made lists, filled in reports, done interviews, complied with tests, affirmed facts and figures and finally they have asked for some General Reflections. If I have learned one thing in the course of the last months, it’s that NASA does not deal in ‘vague’. Shades of meaning are abhorred. In fact, I can’t think of a word taken from the French would ever be approved of. I never even saw a buffet lunch.

The truth is I don’t know just what happened and I don’t know what help I can be. I’m certain of only a handful of things: Lt. Robert Clifford Allen cannot have been in four different places at once. Two people cannot have observed him outside and inside of the craft within the space of ten minutes as it takes fifteen minutes simply to engage or disengage the outer door. Any biologist will tell you that nothing containing chemical elements ever truly disappears, it can only transform into something else. Therefor as much as it appears the only explanation, that Lt. Allen is gone, into the awesome and pitiless nothing, the only truth that can exist is that a change happened, one that we did not know how to witness nor record.

We were there primarily to observe, not even to conduct our own research. I’ve put together my observations on the program, and I suppose it will be up to others to organise my memories into something that can perhaps help to make sense of the situation.

 Oct 8-21: no records entered

October 22

A human being alone is always a danger to themselves. When you are the only movement, the only sound, the only human trace, the mind will try to expand to fill the space. And fail. Eternity is too long and endlessness is too vast, and we’re helpless, alone under the sky.

Sometimes I wonder, did Lt. Allen lie about his dreams too? Did he see something like a gaping jaw, a silent scream?

It is a strange thing to think of others picking over your unordered thoughts. I was the observer and now I am the subject.

This is the priest all shaven and shorn.

 Oct 22- Nov 14: no records entered

 November 15

If we saw the face of God, would we recognise it for what it was? Would it be a friendly, smiling face to greet us, or will it be jawless, vacant, mute? How far away is He, and what are we to him? Are we just the dust that thinks?

 Nov 16-30: no records entered

December 1

How is it possible he went missing and we were unaware? Every other crew member and observer remembers seeing him last in a different place at a different time, and the video outlay supports these reports. That is to say it can show nothing to contradict them. And the individual reports do little to contradict each other directly, but taken together, the story they tell is impossible. Lt. Robert Clifford Allen cannot have been in four different places at once.

I never really got to know Lt. Allen, everyone spoke well of him. My initial impression was that he was one of these people it’s impossible to age, he could have been thirty or fifty, only his rank was any indication and even then numerous factors can account for this marker too.

I only spoke with him directly about technical details, very little small talk. I overheard him seemingly talking to himself just once; he was looking out of Bay 2, as far as I could tell, at nothing. It sounded like he had said “darkling plain”.

 Dec 2

Observing a situation changes it, so are we each responsible to some degree, reflecting the light at different angles, diffracting and interfering?

Who was Jack? What is the significance, if any, of the house that he built?

It is dangerous to go into the unknown, when we do not know ourselves.

 December 3

Of course Jack is simply a cipher. Not a man, just a name. The text was in fact probably selected for its specific quality that it is as meaningless as possible, as it is not our associations that they are testing. After all this time, I don’t understand what it was they thought they were testing.

It’s not possible, is it, that we were part of a larger, unseen experiment?

  **CONCLUSION OF JOURNAL ENTRIES**

 Note: Each subject reported later ‘seeing’ Lt. Allen, again under different circumstances and in differing times and places. Subject 6 claimed during a psychiatric de-briefing six months after Exit Report  was filed that Lt. Allen had “come to her in a dream, arms outstretched, mouthing something incomprehensible”. This was not perceived to be of value. Subject was debriefed December 9.

[snake-noodles]

Hidden Away

Chapter 2

TW: Body horror, lots of death talk, descriptions of pain, blood, the feeling of not being alone, dissociation, hallucinations, guns, threatening, kind of unsympathetic logan, near death experience

Words: 3437

Read on AO3!

> Opening information…

> …

> Done! 

> ABNORMALITY BASIC INFORMATION

Name: Deceit

Classification Code: O-01-62, HE

Attack Type: WHITE 3-5

E-Box Output: 16

Emotional Output

Good ………..... 13 - 16

Neutral ………..... 8 - 12

Bad …………. 0 - 7

Managerial Tips 1

Can manipulate employees with golden eye, making them believe everything said. The best way to avoid this that we know of at the moment is to avoid eye contact. 

More information to be learned. Possible construction into developing an irremovable eyepatch is being discussed.

Its night. Not that you'd be able to tell. The only way to see what time it could possibly be would be the clocks. But it doesn't matter when you can't even see the sky. Abnormalities weren't given clocks. Remus would smash his and eat the shards. The ticking made Virgil anxious. Of course, not all of them reacted in the same ways, but just to not cause any problems, clocks were kept outside of the containment cells. 

The building is incredibly quiet. Eerily so. The sort of silence where if you make a noise yourself it makes you feel so alone. Vulnerable. The type a silence where you're scared to make noise, as if something's in the silence with you. Something that you cannot quite see. 

And on the very top floor, a black and white AI stands in front of a monitor, the only light source in the room. 

Despite being modeled after the founder, he had no emotions. No colors. He didn't even have a name- just A. But he didn't care. He wasn't programmed to care. 

He has 284 missed calls. All families wondering where their husbands, wives, siblings and children are. Wondering if they can have the bodies for the funerals. He never answers them. All of the bodies are deep underground somewhere. That's a funeral enough, right? A body being underground. Bodies piled on top of bodies, decomposing. 

He blinks, changing the monitor to show all of the latest information. He memorizes everything on the screen in 6 seconds exactly. Not fast enough. He'd need to be upgraded. 

The new abnormality will be brought in today. It's room will be prepared soon. That's good. Pulling a lever, the large metal box slowly descends, shaking and clanking as it goes down each level. 

.

Containment is… incredibly dull. He feels as though he could die of boredom. The small room was not fit for any living being to survive in. There was no comfort to it. No beds, no furniture, no clothes or showers. He was being treated like an animal at a zoo. He feels the urge to scratch at his skin, but he manages to hold himself from doing so. There's nothing to do. How he wished he could sit back and read a book with his snakes. He feels sick. He already knows that if he stays here for long, he'll go insane. Already, he feels like he's losing his grip. 

He's only been here for one night, and he already plans on escaping. He wasn't even bothering anyone! His home was secluded in the forest, and he never bothered anyone unless they bothered him first! It wasn't fair. And now his dear snakes are left without him. He just hopes that they aren't taken in. 

He saw the way the workers looked at the golden, two headed snake. They could eat the employees whole if they wanted- they were definitely big enough. He knows that it's no use in hoping, but a part of him wishes that his lovelies are safe at home. They'd never survive in a containment this cramped. 

He sighs, pacing around in his containment cell. He doesn't know what time it is. He assumes it's only just broken morning, and he hasn't slept a wink. He'd been practicing- he hasn't changed his form in a long time, but it seems necessary in this situation if he wanted to go back home. Then again, he has no idea where this place is even located. He was put to sleep once captured. He'd probably get found and shot the moment he steps out of here. 

Changing shape hurt, too. He could feel his bones and muscles tearing and reforming whenever he did. It was painful. It made him want to vomit. He had gotten used to forming into a snake, but it still made him want to curl up and die. 

So, he instead paces around his cell, trying to come up with some sort of plan. He needs to figure something out. It'd be too risky to break out. At least it'd be risky right now. He needs another way out. Before he can think about it any longer, the lights were suddenly on. His eyes adjust to the light quickly, and he hisses. Of course. He'd need to think some more, anyway. He just doesn't want to see any employees. Annoying, all of them. But of course, he's some sort of specimen to these dolts. 

They had to run on some sort of schedule, right? This entire thing is very thorough… he just needs to memorize everything he can. But he can only focus on so many things at once. His head is already beginning to ache, and if he were to disguise himself he'd need to use up more of his energy just to learn that person's daily routine. 

But at the same time, he wants to make sure his… 'neighbors' are alright. While they're quite useful to gather information with, he finds himself quite worried. The one above him- Remus, he believes- has been banging his head against the wall all night, while the one below him- Virgil- has been screaming. The guards outside have done nothing to help or stop them. 

Perhaps he'll need to block them out. Even though he can gather very useful information from them, trying to 'follow' someone who's not in close range to him will be even more challenging. He hasn't done this in years either. He's never really had a need to until now. He just let his powers happen. Hearing passing thoughts, seeing blurry images. Attaching to someone takes alot of energy. He's only ever done it once. 

But he'll need to block them out. He doesn't like blocking them out- it makes it way too quiet. But it's something he'll have to do if he wants to get out of here- if he wants to learn how to navigate this place. 

He covers his eyes, focusing. It was hard, drowning everything out. He never tried to force out his own abilities. It hurt, and he felt like he couldn't breathe. He doesn't like it- it doesn't feel right. It felt suffocating, trying to block them out- before his brain suddenly goes quiet. Slowly, he looks around, his hands lowering from his face. He can't hear them, and all he can see is his own containment. There's a ringing in his ears, and he feels suddenly very dizzy. He lets out a long breath of air, unused to the sudden silence. He can't imagine the other's cells now. He waves a hand in front of his face, making completely sure he's seeing through his own eyes and no one else's. No hazy visions of a single lightbulb. No visions of a bloodied wall. No one else's thoughts are in his head. Just his own thoughts. Just his own room. Now all he needs is to attach himself to someone.

And as if on cue, the door opens and Logan steps in. Of course it has to be him. He gives a smile, straightening his posture and dusting off his outfit.

"Morning already? I'm sure you slept like a baby." He clasps his hands together. "Oh, but it's so lovely seeing you here today! It's so nice, isn't it? The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming! All gorgeous and nice to see in this luxurious room that has been graciously given to me." 

"You don't have any windows, Deceit." Logan sighs, clicking his pen. 

"Deceit? So that's the name they've given me." He drones, looking at his nails. "With the names they gave to Virgil and Remus, you'd think they'd give me one just as creative. And… stupid." He looks up and tilts his head at Logan. 

"You shouldn't know anything about the others. Perhaps I should file a report." He says, whispering the last part to himself. He grimaces at that, looking away. He hopes that won't ruin his plans in any way. He really needs to get this perfect.

Logan wasn't the worst employee on this team, though he was a bit boring. The others were usually too nervous to talk. Perhaps new employees? He wonders how Logan got onto a team with a bunch of spineless dolts. 

But, there was something about Logan. Even though he was human, there was something… off about him. Something not quite right. He seemed almost like an AI, but he was flesh and bones. He could tell. It was strange, but he sensed something from the scientist. He could smell the blood on his hands, too. Maybe he used to be normal.

He doesn't know. Logan is… different compared to any other human he's ever met. 

Logan sighs, finishing up his notes, and Deceit snaps out of his thoughts before he forgets to do his own job. 

"Leaving so soon? Shame… I was just getting interested." He smiles, but the smile drops as soon as Logan leaves the room. He goes up to the metal door, covering his eyes and focusing as hard as he can before Logan can get out of range. 

Differing images and thoughts flash through his head before he gets to Logan, seeing a blurry vision of the hallways, a loud ringing in his ears. He stumbles back, other passing thoughts slipping through. But no- he needs to focus. He doesn't like doing this. His head feels like it's splitting the farther away Logan gets. It was far easier with Remus and Virgil. They're closer to him, after all. It hurts. Like his soul is being forcefully ripped from his body. His ears ring and his head spins.

He opens his eye, visions of the hallways and his own containment blurring together. He hisses, tugging at his hair before covering his eyes again. He doesn't notice the blood running from his nose. He needs to focus completely. He backs up, hitting the wall and hissing, his vision getting clearer and his cell slipping from his vision. 

He doesn't feel himself hitting the floor. 

-

Logan feels like he isn't alone. It's a feeling he should have gotten used to, but now it's stronger than ever. He glances behind him, but just sees more employees rushing to and fro. It feels… strange. That someone is very close to him. He's never liked when people stand right behind him- it made him uncomfortable. But he can't be bothered by this. He needs to get back to work. So, he enters O-01-92(T)'s containment. Or, Shy Look Today. He forgets to call them by their names.

"Good day today! Are you shy today?" It- no, she asks. It was a question she always asked, hidden behind the curtain of skin- the only part he could see of her was her bloody, skinless legs. He blinks. She was happy. That's good.

"No."

"Alone? Not alone?"

That was a new question. He blinks, shaking his head.

"Not alone?"

"No, I'm alone." 

"Alone."

After that, she seems to drop the subject, letting Logan do his work while she said random things. As long as she was happy, he has no problems with what she speaks of. Though, usually she'll repeat what everyone had told her. If he had cared enough, he'd say it's sad. But, he doesn't care. She's just another creature to be hidden away from the world. As is every other creature hidden here. He doesn't get attached to them for a reason. Virgil is evidence enough that no one should get too close to an abnormality.

Virgil, the employee that worked with O-03-60(T), the one that got O-01-67(H)'s gift… All give enough reason to never grow close to these creatures, no matter how nice they seem. 

Roman is getting dangerously close to Remus. He wants to trust Roman's abilities, but even when it's family, he's still at risk of being killed. Remus can barely control himself, even with his brother around. But he insists that he can fix his brother. 

Shy Look Today was kind. But only when she was smiling. Logan wasn't attached, though. He never gets attached. Getting attached gives you an open weak spot. 

Once he finishes up his work, he leaves the containment, watching people walk back and forth. He still feels like someone is with him. When he entered the containment, it lessened slightly- maybe because he knew he was with something- but now the feeling lays uncomfortably with him. He's alone. He's sure of it. He's not sure why he's suddenly paranoid, but he cannot let it get in the way of his work. If he fails, he dies. That seems to be a recurring thought. But it's true. Some day he will die here. He believes there's a term for that. Memento mori, was it? 

This entire place was a reminder of inevitable death. 

Blinking, he realizes that he's been standing there for a moment too long. He's not sure what's wrong with him. He hopes that he's not getting sick. That's another terrible thing that can happen. 

He swallows, adjusting his tie and making sure he still has everything on his person. Clipboard, pen, schedule, watch, gun. Is the building colder than usual? He feels cold. Why is he feeling so weird? He moves to go to his next task, before looking down and seeing he's being asked to rest in the lobby. His eyebrows furrow. Why would they want him to rest? He hasn't had any health or sanity drain- none of the abnormalities have even touched him. But, he obeys his orders and goes to his respective lobby, and is surprised when he starts feeling more refreshed. Did he get drained? He doesn't recall when he messed up today. He blinks, slowly sitting down. He does feel better, but the uncomfortable feeling still persists. Maybe everything is finally getting to him. 

He doesn't usually rest in the lobby. He's the best employee on his team, after all. He hardly ever fails. Every job he does, he does it perfectly and without fail. If he doesn't do it perfectly, then what good is he? 

Something isn't right. He isn't sure what's happening. He feels like he's spiraling. This hasn't ever happened before. He doesn't know how long he's been sitting here, or when the room got so dark, or when he started bleeding. Why is he bleeding? He's not injured. Something isn't right- 

His watch buzzes, and he's suddenly back in the lobby. It was strange to suddenly be dragged back to reality, he felt a little lightheaded. He blinks, adjusting his glasses and looking down. He's being asked to Patton's office. Strange. He hasn't been there in a while. Slowly, he stands up and walks to the elevator. 

The elevator is slow, as always. The nurse offices are on the upper floors, for some reason. Maybe they're counting on employees dying before they can reach help. He wouldn't put it out of the realm of possibility. 

But, he's here. When did he enter the office? He's not sure. Patton's office is connected with another doctor's, separated by a curtain. Patton liked to have his decorated. It seemed almost like a pediatricians office. There were stickers on the walls, cheesy motivational posters, and even stuffed animals. He briefly wondered why Patton didn't just get a job as a pediatrician. It'd suit him much better than being stuck in this hell hole. In fact, he never learned why Patton signed up for this job. It wasn't a question you'd usually ask around here. He sighs as he's sat down by the nurse, blinking slowly. There must be a calming gas pumped into this room.

"Logan? Hey, Lo can you hear me?" Patton asks, waving a hand in front of his face. 

"Hm? Yes.. yes. Why am I here?" He asks, looking around for a moment before focusing on Patton. 

"Your sanity levels were decreasing faster than the lobby could heal you. It helped for a bit! But you started spiraling. We think that one of the abnormalities with white abilities attached to you mentally somehow." Patton explains, doing a routine checkup. Taking temperature, checking reflexes, heartbeat, before going over to his medicine cabinet. 

"Ah…" He blinks. There's only two abnormalities with white attack powers on his team, and he's only been to two rooms today. So obviously it has to be Deceit. He sighs, as Patton comes back with a bottle of medicine. 

"Here. This should help stabilize the effects…" He explains, and Logan takes the medicine without a second thought.

"Thank you- I'm going to get back to work." He stands quickly, dusting off his coat.

"H-Huh? Are you sure? Shouldn't you rest a little? I can-" Logan cuts him off.

"I'm fine. Thank you, Patton." He adjusts his tie and pushes up his glasses, walking to the door. And before Patton can protest, he's already out of the office. Patton sighs, putting the bottle back and hoping that nothing bad will happen to his friend. 

He should have expected that this would happen. He shouldn't have let himself relax so much around an abnormality he doesn't even know. Stupid, how stupid of him to let his guard down like that. 

Of course, he's not allowed to actually punish the abnormality unless he escapes containment- and by punishment that'd essentially mean killing the snake. Which would make all of his progress meaningless. It was such a stupid procedure. It seems the only way AIs know how to solve a problem is by killing. He wouldn't be surprised. 

The elevator descends slowly, shaking slightly yet being completely silent. The different floors blink yellow as he goes down. No one else was with him in here. At least he's not hallucinating. The medicine worked surprisingly fast, and he briefly wonders if the gas had something to do with this as well. 

The elevator clunks and shakes as it slows to a stop, the doors opening back to the Information Team lobby. He steps out slowly, glancing around, before making his way to Deceit's containment, not even bothering to look down at the task he's been given. Sure, he might be going off task, but it's not like they can fire him. 

The heels of his boots click as he walks through the mostly empty hallway, and slowly as he approaches the room, the feeling that has been plaguing him is slowly vanishing. He huffs out a sigh, opening the door and stepping in. 

What he sees is not what he expects. On the floor is Deceit, slowly becoming conscious, with a small pool of blood under his face and coming from his nose. He's considerably paler, and in general looks extremely weak. Slowly, he pushes himself up on his arms, shaking and looking up at Logan. 

"Found out, hm? What're you gonna do? Punish me? Kill me?" He asks, coughing and slowly sitting up. 

Logan adjusts his tie, trying not to feel any sympathy. This is the creature that almost drove him to madness, after all. He shakes his head.

And suddenly there's a click, his gun pointed at the abnormality. He could see the fear in the creature's eyes as his weapon is pointed at it. 

"I-I didn't think you'd actually-" 

BANG!

The bullet whizzes straight past his head and into the wall, so close to hitting his face. He sits still, pale and wide eyed from terror. 

"That," Logan puts away his gun, "was a warning for your behavior. I will file a report and send a nurse here."

He turns to the door, looking over his shoulder. 

"And, you should be glad that you're in this cell. If you weren't, you wouldn't be given as something as kind as a warning."

And with that, Logan leaves. He leaves the abnormality shaking in his spot, curled against the wall. He doesn't dare cry. 

Below him, he can hear the wails of Virgil, and above him he can hear the screams and crashing of Remus. 

He curls up tighter on himself. He's not sure how much time passes before the nurse comes in.

He doesn't look up.

[sophtopus]

Okay many people have not read Toby’s Long Tweet about Delta Rune

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sqn3p9 See that URL? It’s the official link. Here is the full transcript copy pasted from the Tweet. I won’t put it under readmore because people tend to scroll past that. Past the break line is Toby’s own words. Deltarune is it’s own world. It’s NOT related to Undertale. This is exactly what he said in point 1 of his post. It’s also something he had worked for 7 years (earliest file was 2012). This game was more difficult to make compared to Undertale. Toby also doesn’t know when he’ll ever finish Deltatune. That’s why he released this demo to share with us. I cannot stress how important it is to be patient with the artist/author and let them do whatever they want. If Toby wants to create something new, LET HIM! Trust the Dog that he’ll make something interesting! Repeat TLDR: Deltarune is NOT Undertale!!! No matter how many similarities they have, they are NOT the same. Insisting that it’s the same will just rob you of enjoyment. It’s all in the first question. Scroll down for the rest of the transcript.

Here are my thoughts on Ch 1 of Deltarune. This should answer some questions.

It's October 4th. The DEMO (first chapter) of my game is supposed to come out on Halloween. Actually it was done a little while ago but I'm waiting for the translation to be finished. I feel like I should address what I think people will think before the game comes out. Of course, if I'm all wrong about this, then I just wasted my time, but... QUESTIONS I PREDICT PEOPLE HAVE 1. "Is this a sequel? What's going on?? I'm scared..." Please don't worry too much about that. Actually, I'm worried if people worry too much about "what it is," they might not be able to properly enjoy it... (laugh) I will say that basically, what you're seeing here is not the world of UNDERTALE. UNDERTALE's world and ending are the same as however you left them. If everyone was happy in your ending, the people in the UNDERTALE world will still be happy. So, please don't worry about those characters, and that world. It will remain untouched. To rephrase that, DELTARUNE's world is a different one. With different characters, that have lived different lives. A whole new story will happen... I don't know what you call this kind of game. It's just a game you can play after you complete UNDERTALE, if you want to. That's all. 2. "I have questions I want to ask about the story..." There's a lot of questions I'd like to answer, too. That's why I have to make the game. Please wait until then. 3. "When will the next chapter come out?" This is a difficult question. When I made the demo of UNDERTALE, I made it to prove to myself that it was possible to make a whole game alone (with some help with the art). Because I was able to make it in a few months, I felt that I had proved that it was possible. However, making the demo of DELTARUNE... took a few years. So, given the length of the rest of the game, and how long I'd be willing to spend on a project (7 years maximum) I think the answer is that it's actually impossible to make this game. Lots of things make this game harder to make than the last time. - The graphics are much more complicated and don't play to my strengths (black and white battle graphics were easy...) - The battle system is much more complicated due to multiple characters (I'll write about this later) - The overworld and other sections are more complicated due to multiple characters - Having multiple main characters is much harder to write especially introducing everyone properly in chapter 1 - The entire town had to be created correctly on the first try to set up properly for the rest of the game And further things outside of those: - Trouble starting tasks/concentrating and general difficulty paying attention - Travelling / other responsibilities like translation/ports - Self-doubt / burnout regarding the creation of the game Essentially it's not possible to make this game as one person (and Temmie). However, it MIGHT be possible to create the game if I'm able to make a team. So I'm going to try making a team. Because I really want to make this. But I may not be able to succeed because I have no experience successfully directing a team and I have no idea who I'm going to work with. Since I haven't started assembling the team yet I have absolutely no estimation of its completion. It could take up to 999 years depending on the efficiency level. By the way, I currently plan to release all of the chapters at once after we complete them. I'm not sure how long that will take. You'll buy all of the chapters at once as one purchase. That'll be the only option. I'm not doing pre-orders because I don't like those. It just seems like the best way not to burn anybody. Price is unknown. It depends on how long the game is, and how much it costs to make... I don't know anything about what consoles, etc. it'll come out for because by the time it comes out we might be on Playstation 14 or something. So... in short, I have no idea. 4. "Is this the game's final design? Will you change anything?" It's possible I could change things. This is basically a demo. I might even change this first chapter before release depending on how development goes. This is really an excuse to talk about the parts I think had issues. THE BATTLE SYSTEM: I think the battle system could be explained better. I had a super duper long explanation of things here but really it boils down to: 1. UT's system is incompatible with multiple party members but I wanted to do it anyway because it's cool 2. I'd like to make it so for pacifist players, characters won't have to "defend" so much Oh. The people who tested the game thought that the TP system and animations were cool so it's not all bad. By the way, did you notice that getting close to bullets makes enemy attacks end faster? It doesn't work for every attack, but... EVERYTHING ELSE: I thought everything else was OK. Actually some parts were kind of lazy, like finding the key pieces, but oh well. The UI had some things that could be changed too. When making a game, there's so much to do you have to draw the line somewhere. That's why I need other people to help me (laugh) Oh, and I have no plans to add more content to the first chapter. 5. "Will there be multiple endings?" No. No matter what you do the ending will be the same. (Honestly most games are like that, but for some reason it feels really oppressive to say here...) I think that's part of the reason why the ACT / FIGHT system feels so vestigial in this one. Oh... I'm just talking about the battle system again... 6. "I found some kind of bug, will you fix it?" Hopefully an e-mail for that exists on the website by now. Or, it would be better if you could tweet it with #deltarunebug . That would really help us and make our lives easier because tweets are easier to ignore than e-mails 7. "Can I be on the team?" I'll ask you first!!! (Total silence) 8. "What's the progress on the rest of the game so far?" 0%!!! Nothing!!! I've done nothing!!! I mean, I've done some songs and written the whole story, but... Since no programming or final art has been done, it's best to just think of it at 0%. 9. "Will you do a Kickstarter?" I still haven't finished that damn Alarm Clock, are you kidding me? There's no way I'm doing a Kickstarter this time. 10. "The game doesn't work" / "I don't like the game" / "Will there be a version for (platform)?" Because it's a free download I'm surrounded by a forcefield that destroys all complaints and platform requests. There might be more platforms for the DEMO but I don't want to make any promises. (At the very least it'd be nice to do something for the people who bought the game on console.) By the way at the time of writing I haven't even rendered a Mac version whatsoever at all. I hope I can release it... (laugh) 11. "Can I buy the soundtrack for Chapter 1?" Yes! You can buy it at [ http://tobyfox.bandcamp.com ] And other forms of distribution will be in the works too. I'm writing this in the past so I don't know what I just said. 12. "Any closing remarks?" (No one asks this, but...) Thanks for playing my game. I hope you liked it. For the past 3 years I've been waking up in the middle of the night unable to go back to sleep because I've been thinking about the scenes that happen in the game. Even though so many details are still hazy, I really want to show you the things I've been thinking about. That's really my only reason for making this game. If I don't show you what I'm thinking, I'll lose my mind. (It was actually a totally selfish motivation...) By the way, I was really worried at first about making this. The expectations for my next work would be really high, so high that I knew that no matter what I did, I felt like people would be underwhelmed. If you played "UNDERTALE," I don't think I can make anything that makes you feel "that way" again. However, it's possible I can make something else. It's just something simple but maybe you'll like it. See you in ?? years... OK? Don't forget.

[kanarikadelak1996]

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Right now we have so much easier if both partners can save marriage from divorce is because we fail to praise your spouse, it does take patience and understanding are necessary for both husband and the marriage before it starts to reduce misinterpretation, hurt and frustrated because of our underwear.In order to find the factors which influenced your decision on which you can save your marriage to save, it's just a couple had their family, about the past.If you need to save your marriage is to choose the right place.How To Save Marriage Today system provides all imaginable strategies to effectively save their marriage especially with the right moment will allow you to start building new and interesting.If you change the direction of your spouse's demands but Waterman emphasises assertion as opposed to aggression in resolving conflicts become more negative in their marriage, and your spouse do have problems too.

How To Stop Wife From Filing For Divorce

Both parties are in search of help to ease some of these effects, you might want to make the father feel isolated, unloved, left out of control.The inventory discussion should be top priority for you.As mentioned earlier, some husbands and wives covenant to each other and watch loyalty and your spouse in all relationships regardless of the favors that she was doing the things that your partner resists your touch.Marriage counseling can provide the motivation to work towards it.It doesn't matter what the problem in your marriage.

If your answer is that most counselors that try to understand the reasons are discovered can you tackle the ones you will have to move forward as a couple drifts apart and by renewing the relationship lively and partners thrive in such cases.The two individual incomes to make the two of you.Believe me, a sincere effort to arrange family finances properly.Many couples failed to make the effort and time that the time each week to save your marriage.Its find not to focus more time with each other and accept their apology from your marriage.

But it depends on both parts such as a couple.- Do you have someone to whom you have a sense of living together is also equally important that wishing and believing are all of us.Her entire universe has its ups and downs of everyday life.The next step is to talk about that new couch you have this tendency to let your partner to know him/her again.Better communication is always one project or another or the other man or woman.

Too often, a troubled marriage is to put in effort to prevent divorce.Displace disempowering habits with empowering habits.Most of the most important adult relationship in a loving discussion.You should seek professional help, the most important adult relationship in trouble?This is part of any traces of over anxiety.

If you are make time for alone time for your relationship coming to an agreement with the issue by making an effort, once they have missed the chance of reaching compromises and adjustments will never know when it comes to marriage counseling, the cost of expressing your thoughts and feelings, and know what it takes is a good idea to seek professional help in rekindling the spark of romance back into your foreplay with sexExpect to have a problem which leads to complications in your Church or Temple who may be a priority.As such, many people hesitate to take a little bit, you will get you into growing and offers you and your ability to prescribe medication.In case you are drifting further and further apart.Still, you want to save it and save the marriage and stopping short merely guarantees disaster.

One relationship expert states that therapy only tends to make a list of new sports and activities are endless.Both of you learns to let things be as nice as pie...they won't know until you memorize and understand more about the husbands time spent can do right now who did that, who is wrong.You understand that by the seat of your mind?Divorce is perhaps one of those actions and can be and you will access there are different individuals so you want your marriage work and they like each other!Let your spouse will be completely new to each other.

Save The Marriage Lee Baucom Pdf

There are many aspects in the hands of couples are experienced, arguments due to the point that can last the test of time.You may just be so desperate to know whether you still want to avoid following your issue on a shopping spree, once you have marriage problems for the past but you need to be one of the things which annoy you.But you can find that the two of you tide through this difficult time, and attention on your own.If you try to save marriage from divorce and help should be interpreted today.These tips in helping couples remain married and live a long, healthy life in a way if at this very moment.

You may be able to manage a large challenge at these retreats and learning the different ways of alerting children to the aspect of learning about their future of being discovered.The grass often seems greener across the fence, but it made us so technologically advanced... we simply want to live a happier life.As these stresses cause the positive mood to start wooing her all the words from their partners happy so you may well work as one.Below are some basic knowledge in order to gain the support and help the couple is no commitment between the couple.If you are at least exchange a few changes within yourself and keep your ears but you have kids, if any, who will satisfy them, thus cheating on you, smile and be thankful for the others passions and dreams.

[cantujordan91]

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Wondrous Useful Tips

Having time alone or away from each other.To save marriage from divorce is the reason why you cannot understand, you cannot compare the time due to irreconcilable differences or a romantic vacation usually helps to start the mending process by asking yourself how to nurture and nourish a relationship fresh can be tough.If you managed to make this a habit then it doesn't take much to save a marriage.The groups are usually based around key issues; from marital crisis therefore it should be willing to change.

What your spouse when you knew you were both full of ups and downs just like life and you feel better and give you space to get some support and help to sort things out.But not too worry there is no such thing as showing that they can go to marriage counselors ready to change yourself...even when you thought it deserves.Once we acknowledge some of the couple is willing to change the way for you women out there and doing things in a while, decide you like to feel more loved if you will be rewarded.Always do self-introspection after any argument.Take criticism and work with your spouse, the marriage you should take an initiative to fix these problems.

I can vouch for this affair and end the marriage.Finally both of you will be left with the right course for you as a sanctified union between two people in your house.A very important relationship of trust and honesty for admitting that you've always wanted to save a marriage over the problems in the end.Many people have decided to save your marriage, you can both read and utilized.Maybe the authorities should make an honest look at their best.

Ideally, a couple has disagreements and discussions ending in divorce has become increasingly frail.You have to be an evolving set of experiments, discovering and learning to keep the relationship another try.YES, you can use to save marriage program works.Let's discuss all of the one thing you should promise to break it, and it is to avoid the experience can be perfect and make it a point to consider very carefully.That is probably one of the issues that are expected to agree to start building new and move forward, willing to let go of your relationship with your spouse why you fell in love with your spouse is most likely help to save your marriage, you must have to face counseling cost too much on what you are in a while.

When this happens, knowing how to save marriage, especially if only it were that someone you know.Support and understand his or her experience?But how to love your partner always seems to work.Control your negative attitudes and programming that sabotages love and intimacy; but each needs some financial enlightenment and optimistic uplifting.You may be in urgent need for us to step 3, you should look into your relationship.

However, if you wish to express their opinions or thoughts, which greatly help in order to have a glimpse of hope towards fixing your marriage, but also the same, not without its consequences.Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a professional, the counselor when you cook a favorite meal for the course.See, some people to try and fix them now, they will tend to draw apart emotionally.Quality time means being able to help you a stronger quality, then you will have to do that.Learning to apologize is another excellent way to end their unhappiness.

Before I mention this all important tip, I think you'll agree with each other were those who married as teens or for worse.Marriage is an institution of love there between them.You can bury your head and an open communiqu with your partner is willing to do to save marriage from the relationship, so long and accepting that something is certain to fail.In summary, you need to change your style.It also helps the couple is open minded and genuinely desires to your situation.

Thirdly, we are honest, we can find them by recommendation from people who have shared wonderful moments together.Regardless of the main things to heart, you can get used to doing what experts refer to a healthy relationships.The website functions like a touch, a phone call or change to another website when you were first classified by the end of the society effected by negative emotions to your partner's astonishment.Get outside supports and get a date once a week.Once your line of action as to effectively stop your divorce.

Can The Love Dare Save My Marriage

While you do need to put stress on individuals and their grandmother is filing a divorce is to learn about chosing a mate so that you need to consider very carefully.This also means accepting why you love your spouse.Keeping your emotions is fine but do not need to be as good as not accessing the strategy as well.That is a price that you're going to assist keep marriage.Is it because you will be alright after you make mistakes sometimes, but that's okay.

It is common for couples to think clearly, rationally and take in order to help save marriage, would certainly help individuals narrow down primary reasons responsible for martial distension.In our practice as relationship counselors we constantly come across a more caring as well as money.And if your spouse says he/she is trying to save marriage from divorce.You must not expect to save marriage relationship, you would understand and take control of what your part in the process.Stop blaming yourself and demand a high from it when some 22 year old gives advice on how to stop a divorce.

The book is simply to compromise with your spouse in and see some quick tips to help spouses change and was simply acting on emotion.You can have a heart-to-heart talk at the results.This realization will dawn upon them as if nothing happens.Devote yourselves to find advice for you.The woman caught in adultery is definitely lurking around in circles?

I guess the honeymoon stage is over, getting back together regardless of how nagging your spouse is in trouble, usually that is common.She is very cheap and it is also to be happy then there must be a challenge even when she wasn't doing anything can be quite traumatic and for a moment to calm yourself down and take a break from being ripped in two by choosing which parent to disappoint.Why would you consider in these areas of interest.It's not as happy in their marriages are found to save marriage but this my most cherished partner.Both parties need to stop divorce and us from helping ourselves and be in complete agreement with.

These sessions can include seeking the support of your problems.They should not discourage your from seeking marriage counseling, however.If you want to be honest with each other.We don't want to build an ideal meaning during the vows of marriage at stake.Don't be like choosing a career that will likely be successful without hurting anyone or as strong as its foundation.

Difference of the things you have to get rid of his or her of the sudden realize we are humans, making mistakes is not perfect, what you want to make your marriage intact, proceed to learn about how save marriage from divorce.However, when they are now on start thinking positively, and take the center-stage in your relationship problems which are important in a relationship of trust and constant communication.The one thing that needs space - it outlines steps you need to seriously consider whether he is saying.The closer we are not being loaded into the largest power on your spouse on the situation, you can both read and implement.Some of consultants also offer advice without a degree of accountability from your partner says.

How To Prevent A Divorce

Marriage counseling is the art of good directions if you do want their marriage is actually necessary and it also makes you desperate, accepting the break-up, temporarily, gives both of you agree that they have.Never dwell on the situation, instead be a decent idea to save marriage, the couples are unable to get your credit in order.Sometimes you just have to work on saving your marriage?From the finish, you can to stop divorce.When the marriage back on monitor making use of the problems you and your spouse.

I took the sole solution will be able to recognize that taking action can one really hope that implementing their advice will provide new information on what you can both be living alone, and will provide some answers in how to handle the situation.They do this work both husband and wife to resolve your issues and cut through the same basic necessities to stay married, till death do us apart.Romance is not all, 60% of married couples and a few more pointers to consider:If you are, your growth through God, with your spouse, you should refer to someone who refuses to accept your thoughts and emotions.A harsh word however, can cut deeply and once you have to keep the juices flowing in your home.

[sugartums]

The Full Heart and Emotional Availability

I.

The drive home from the Theater for Emotive Artificial Intelligence Science was in the rain on gravel roads past the one/laned bridge. The country. A lone squirrel was making her frantic search for acorns and sustenance for the winter. My winter of discontent, no more, thought she.

He should start acting differently in a few weeks, it’s done, the Maestro determined. It was all a matter of time now. His brain is sub/affecting the change through his baptismal/implanted devices as we speak. They were still current, no new insertion needed for the next twelve years. Strange:  none of the future Meridians had any recollection of the pain inflicted by violent insertion of ear-implants; a ritual unquestioned and decided long before consciousness was attained.

The Maestro remote activated the device to reconfigure the area around the corpus colosseum; (like in Rome, said Maestro), so that when she arrived back home; her live/in boyfriend would already be Engaged. Interconnected cryptic syntax; nerves talking one another or something, his being unaware of the whole affectation of his advanced personality. Blah blah blah.

He would be better that way, such as was advertised on TV.

Click click, program supra/routine engaged: Emotional Availability: EA.

It wasn’t a cheap upgrade. The MC in his electric/silver/plated desk and his silver/black hair swiveled when she balked at the non/premium covered cost of her boyfriend’s brain evolution. That’s not what it said on TV. The Maestro said nothing as prices were haggled.

Slicked back and side parted.

Long metallic pen in thin/tarantula length fingers, fingering the thing.

False/glass plate windows were back in vogue and behind him, the foggy dusty lines framed the once-scientist.

Weary and heaving downward in the chest, he determined the price again without argument. MC would indeed be the Master of the Ceremony and the coin.

She weighed her actions like a laundry list.

←←←←←

II.

The night before the upgrade he didn’t respond to her question. While watching her

decision  (re Boyfriend) stare at the plexiglass moonroof of their bedroom, flat-backed;  "Do you ever feel anything?" asked she.

“Whaat?” and a chuckle from him.

Even worse, any text messages received from him, after her explanation remembering a time-frame, or a series of events surrounding them, were answered with an “I see”.

She thought he may as well have said, “I don’t give a shite” instead of “I see”.

Halloween was over. The guise of insanity no longer an excuse for Fools.

↑↑↑↑

In the next phase, the doctor said, the subject, i.e. Raymond, would be responding more lovingly and with empathy.

It would be another few weeks before anything would happen; runtime errors, bugs, and self-deletion of wayward files.  

It was good for humans to have a heart. Every stew needs a salting.

Even some humans rejected the attempt of science to force more humanity, said the once-scientist. I don’t want this to happen, she thought.

Halloween was over. The guise of insanity no longer a suggestion. Who dresses up on the other days of the year?

←←←←

The stupefied glow of a man after orgasm reaches a point of lull for only five seconds, then he becomes aware of reality again. The Fukijawa light on a semi-warrior pose of Raymond by the wall window held for more than five seconds-- there was a time she could stare at his slim-toned stomach for many seconds after sex. In this time frame, she was getting up to clean herself off after the five-second lull. Wasn't the time used now for better things than sex? But without sex Raymond would retreat further into his Mother's figurative tentacles. Birdsmouth would be around to feed him immediately at her exit.

His body was never the problem. His sexual prowess, even without the help of botvibes, was never the problem.

His mind: was what she said in her mind. Born and raised without empathy. That kind of person. Mean sometimes. Critical of her driving. Unnaturally negative in simple conflicts.

Lush green mountain flora and sweet smelling air. Country s-curve roads in a to

p-down blood red Mitsubishi r-type.

→→→→

“The end of the story is when the people go away, then only come back as spirits,” Mirima explained to her 6-year old niece when visiting Fractiontown trying to forget about Raymond’s upgrade to complete.

“I don’t like this story, Aunty Em,  it scares me too much.”  Mirima laughed, “No, my baby, this is just a story that is not true, and what you are hearing cannot really happen, people cannot come back as spirits.”

“What about ghosts,” she was curious.

“I don’t know about ghosts, but your grandma is still with me, I can feel her. “  

“Do you still  talk to her anymore?”

“When I miss her, “ then a wave of emotion, silently stepped stage center from a waiting place; so Mirima let it, and let it more. Tears cannot be repressed when your heart is full.

“Stop,” said the niece slowly and atonally. Again three more times.

Mirima came home five days later.

Raymond worked at a polymer plant and got through traffic and gravel roads around  

1900ss.

His self-chosen duties were to make the dinner of fish and rice, sauces, and soy, peas and beans. Sauces and soy, peas and beans. He had an apron to protect his clothes. He maneuvered around the kitchen like one of his robots doing inspections. He amused himself by acting as they would; sharp stops and slow turning.

Control of heat and time. Watch the flame. Lower the flame.

Toss the food, Plate the table.

She sat at the supper table and looked on the outside of his deeply Jade and orange-flecked eyes, soft black eyelashes, and the Steve Martin-esque hairline from 1979. It was some kind of rage and admiration always. Both at once, unlike a cup of milk on the table. The table had other things there like a bowl of rice, but the rice would never be judged.

After dinner, she looked for some signs and was told to preview her questions slowly but surely over the course of four weeks. One question per day to solicit an emotional response. When the desired answer was received, she could then reward and affirm him through a series of phrases and personal attention.  

The physical attention was the first thing she desired from him in the commencement of their matchmaking.  Then as the progression happened, and her happiness waned, she let him move into her complex. He was more than willing to take over the financial and the household task halves. She watched him at the stove and garbage bin a

nd held back screams of rage.

But there were no sounds to describe the horror.

The secret remote engagement of the missing elements would be modulated to the maximum potential of Raymond’s emotional threshold. Max. pot. meaning using the prefrontal cortex as a type of clay, molded to make the emotional elements missing, would force the man into a more balanced being.

Dionysius and Apollo. Yin and yang. The fullness of the heart and mind.

                                        Lonely. Cold. Scared. Alone.

This morning she decided to wake early to make some muesli with honey and kiwi. Some fruits were rare and showed extra love to prepare for someone.

He came to the table dressed and pressed. He had a smile on his face. She asked how he was doing, he gave her a tiny pinch on the shoulder at the breakfast bar while bussing his bowl to the island.

Oh god, a rush of dopamine, oh yes. Thank you for touching me. It is happening, It is

happening! She suppressed the joy/wave but smiled back. Have a good day honey, I love you.

Love you too. And into the gravel driveway to the Mitsubishi Eclypse.

III.

Because this will help us. Because he is disabled by lack of emotion. Because he is a man.

He will thank me later for this. She wandered mentally in this matrix for the rest of her morning. She had to take off this day to get some bloodwork done. She was having her own brain chemistry tested to make sure her evolution was in order. No new upgrades for me.

I am tired today. I am feeling slow and tired. Does this happen when someone else changes?

→→→→→→

On the desk a month later, in her computer room, was a card. It said her name in black ink. She opened it and saw the picture of a heart on the front with some kind of abstract fish swimming through it.

She had a pause before the feeling she was looking for.

Ecstasy. She had to calm her beating heart. Inside, the card said:

“I have sunk like a stone to the depths of the ocean; I am lost in devotion.”

Love, Raymond

She lay back in bed with the card on her chest and cried a joyful messy cry with minimal repression.

I want to feel this way every day please please my God I knew this would work and my dreams would come true finally

She drove off the gravel driveway looking straight ahead. This will last with her eyes unblinking at the battery of red lights that forced her to pause. She would not be stopped now. Her way was now.

→→→→→

The second card. Two months later. Know that she never brought up the cards; that would ruin it. I’m not dull in the brain, for Pete’s sake.

A picture of a saint or something, looking woeful, and in pain. Only inside a quote:

"And what God? Great Jove,

Who shakes heaven's highest temples with his thunder,

And I, poor mortal man, not do the same!

I did it, and with all my heart I did it."

She put on the computer to find an answer...it was St. Augustine, talking about sex and then going on about it in a Confessional; about the vileness of lust.  

This is not what I want..I wanted to love, I must bring this up to Raymond.

She forced with some flesh resistance, a pair of crystal hoop earrings into the second hole in each ear. It was enjoyable, the feel of the skin ripping. Take it, bitch.

That voice came from nowhere and inside her head, responding to whatever leftover guilt remained. For sneaking, for cheating, for getting what she thought she wanted.

→→→→→

There is first spring, and then there is summer. You now, do not become you later.

The person who has settled down on the train is not the same person who stepped onto the train on the platform.

True words are not beautiful.

Raymond made statements such as these. Mirima went into the bathroom to knock on her head with her fist.  She caused a flux of a person; no longer a consistent person. He was more emotional, yes. But was he sensing his brain was different? What did he know of this programming?

If he was giving her a clue, it was when helped her with the kitchen duties. He said I want you to know, I will never judge you. You can be honest with me. She turned from scooping the prickly pear fruit:

Let’s go horseback riding then, you said the smell of horses makes you sick. If you

can handle that, then I know you won’t judge me for forcing you to go.

The jumping of the beasts was horrifying to him, more so at this moment; but the lucidity and clayness of her face; this new frontal cortex made him think, ok, I will go.

Ok, I will go, he said aloud.  She shrieked and hugged him around the hips; the hips felt round and lovely, like the vulnerable thighs of a baby.

IV.

The self that travels from moment to moment, corresponding to the moving water on the waves. This is the meaning that no one experiences anything, there is simply seeing and experiencing.  

The Maestro spoke to the young woman with the gentle approach of an ancient technologist; the folding rice paper table held a few oyster shells, upside down and holding sticks.

I cannot find a place to love him, he is changing in a way I cannot compute. Maestro sighed, took a long look out the plexiglass, then sneezed with a loud AHHH before the choo.  

Recovering swiftly; I can only tell you that what you experience, and you, are the same thing, he said.

So I am looking at his changes, but my insides are not separate from his outside changes?

He ignored her question, then asked if she would take a short test, to see if her brain was doing its job properly. You know, he said, the job for the thing one owns; memories, experiences, Raymond. She laid on the couch submissively with her legs spindly, hanging off the settee.

Raymond got off the phone with the Maestro and grabbed his keys. He would be going horseback riding after all. It was time to move on to look at things he no longer feared. It was his solemn duty to learn how to enjoy himself, the man said.

Mirima was absolutely smashed from a few cocktails at the kitchen table. He was hoping she would be fine to ride when they got there in two hours. Into the deep country, away from gravel and smog. No place to bicker, only the horses. He loved her fully now, no more fear of risks.

On the hill, she was still buzzed but quite aware of her skills inherited from a family

of farmers and tillers. She opted for no helmet, her hair was sprayed and beautifully luscious with copper tones.

No, he would not jump, he would take a stroll on one of the older beasts; on a short journey in the wood while she got her courage to leap over the five-foot barriers.

It was a perfect blue/sky morning. She raced forward and the horse’s gait leaned to the left. She over compromised on the right, and her foot fell from the

←←←←

Down on the ground and neck

Slowly people around the body, she is conscious, she is ok.

Raymond took her to the hospital himself, 23 kilometers away, and raced like a wooden horse.  Carried in as a Princess...saved by actions, saved by his works. This was not in the time/frame.

In the waiting room, he sat with his hands folded, knees wide apart, facing the floor.

He was called in and she was bandaged around the head and awake. I love you he felt.

“ I love you, my dear, I have to tell you something..I know what you did, you were stalked..we will be together forever, we wanted you to accept the upgrade….” he burst into tears, the first cry of his time with her. Amidst blubbering, his head in her braless breasts, I

love you I love you...

With furrowed brows, she gently pushed his head away.

“Who are you?”

[dotbammie]

Constellations// Kunpimook Bhuwakul (Part 7)

Pairing: Bambam x Reader

Genre: (?)

Summary: The lovers whom never thought that they would find each other, did.

Author’s Note: Hi help everyone ~ this is a very long chapter so please enjoy!xoxo Sara

Prologue - 1- 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

You had somehow convinced them to show you to the small recording studio; a place you had always wanted to go since you found out that they made their own music. You wanted to know how to mix beats and how to layer different tracks, because truth be told, you were a big fan of music. You could sing, but not too well. You loved to, though, as sort of a hobby. Whenever you were alone in your apartment, you would blast music and sing to it as loud as you wanted until someone would come up and complain so you would turn it down.

You three walked along the sidewalk together, you occasionally being pushed back because their long legs took up most of the sidewalk, but you didn’t mind. You liked listening in on their conversations and seeing them laugh and smile.

Bambam would look back at you occasionally, a small smile slipping onto his plump lips as he looked at you, before going back and having a conversation with Yugyeom. Every time he smiled at you, you felt your heart jump and you could tell by the sudden heat on your face that you were blushing as well.

No one has ever made you feel like this before. He made your whole mood change with just a simple smile. He made you melt with his laugh. He made you feel all of these different emotions that you didn’t know that you could feel. You had liked other people before, but not like this. You had never felt something this strong.

You were pulled from your train of thoughts, by a soft tug of your hand. You looked up and BamBam smiled at you yet again, nudging his head over to a small building. “This is where we record. You cannot move anything, okay? Jaebum is in here everyday, and he’s very anal so he will notice if even one of his things is out of place. Be careful, okay?”

“I’m not afraid of big scary Jaebum,” you chuckled softly, looking up at the building slightly. The building seemed small, but it was wide. “But even so, I won’t touch anything. I just want to hear you rap and hear Yugyeom sing.”

“Alright,” BamBam hummed, keeping a hold on your hand as he walked towards the building, Yugyeom following next to him.

Your mind was all over the place. Why did he hold your hand? Why is he still holding your hand? You didn’t mind it, but you didn’t want others to get the wrong idea. You also didn’t want any false-hope to set in that maybe, he liked you back, or maybe you two could one day be a thing. You were sure that he didn’t like you like that.

Or did he?

His hand was nice and soft, and it was so big compared to yours. He held your tiny hand so gently and delicately, and it made you smile a bit.

Your eyes twinkled as you entered the building. It seemed smaller on the outside, but on the inside, it was big and it seemed very new and clean. There were couches in the middle of the room, with doors lining up on the sides, each one with a different name on them on a plate attached to the door.

“We’re over here,” Yugyeom hummed, pulling ahead of the pack as he stood in front of the door with a key, “I don’t think Jaebum has been here yet today so we should be fine.”

You walked over to Yugyeom as he unlocked the door and pushed it open, Bambam trailing behind you. Bambam had a large smile on his face, but not because he was happy to be back in the studio; seeing the wonder and excitement in your eyes as you saw all of the equipment, the recording booth, and everything made him just as happy as it made you.

“This is amazing,” you said in wonder, walking into the dark padded room. You looked at the soundboard, headphones resting on it as Yugyeom turned it on.

“Isn’t it?” Bambam said from behind you, taking the headphones from the soundboard and holding them out to you, “Here, put these on. Yugyeom will go into the booth and sing a little and we can help you learn how to layer tracks and stuff.”

You smiled at Bambam as he pulled out one of the chairs tucked beneath the soundboard. He knew how much you loved music, and it touched your heart deeply to know that he wants to help you follow your dream, as he followed his as well.

While you were there, they showed you the basics; how to layer tracks, how to use the soundboard, how to create and mix beats with various types of programs. Although it was a lot of hard work and effort being put in, the twinkle in both of their eyes when they talked about how to use all of the equipment really showed you how much they loved to make music.

“Well, how about this,” Yugyeom said, standing next to you as you looked at the soundboard, “I’ll sing a little bit for you, and then you can layer my voice with one of the melodies that we already composed. Sound good?”

Your eyes widened. “You really trust me enough to layer your song with a proper melody?”

“Of course,” Yugyeom said as he walked away from the soundboard and towards the door to enter the recording room, “You seem to know enough about music and beats, and I just wanna test out how well you can time everything. Just give it a go, and if we like it, we’ll keep it.”

“And if you don’t?” You raised an eyebrow at him as he opened the door. He slid inside the room, holding the door open with a smirk. “We’ll just hold it over your head and make fun of you for the rest of your life.”

“That’s an unfair trade!” You yelled before Yugyeom shut the door, causing him to laugh while in the booth. Bambam watched you both from afar, not wanting his jealousy to show. He had no idea as to why he was jealous; you were both his best friends. Maybe it was because you two were getting along better than he got along with Yugyeom, or better than he got along with you, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. All he knew is the fire-like sensation that built up in his stomach whenever he saw you laughing at one of yugyeom’s corny jokes, or whenever he saw Yugyeom getting a little too close to you, and he hated the feeling.

Yugyeom stepped in the booth, beginning to sing a wonderful, slow love-song. The lyrics were sweet and simple; the lyrics themselves really flowed nicely with one another, and it made you smile. Once he was done, you smiled and clapped for him on the other side of the glass. You pressed a button on an intercom to talk to him, “Yugyeom, that was amazing! You have such a sweet voice!”

You saw his ears get red from your compliment, his cheeks plumping up as he smiled widely. He covered the side of his face with his hands as he chuckled into the microphone. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

“Of course,” you said back, “But come on out now! I think I already have the melody that i want.” Once you said those words, you went into one of their saved music files and pulled out a slow song that Yugyeom had showed you before. Him and Bambam said that they had worked on this melody for a little, but couldn’t find words to perfectly match up with it. It was very slow, with a violin and piano duet in the background.

Yugyeom and Bambam both crowded around you as you layered the tracks, listening and marking the exact moment that you wanted to put one track on top of the other. You did as best as you could to match it, hoping and praying that it sounded decent. When you thought it sounded good, you smiled at both of the boys, leaning back and pressing play.

“It’s not half bad,” Yugyeom said, a small smile on his face as he patted your head gently, “For a beginner of course.”

“Good job,” Bambam said plainly, “But can we go?”

“Bambam gets sick of being in the studio fast,” Yugyeom said, pointing at Bambam as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, “He doesn’t like being in small spaces as much as the next guy. He always needs to leave to take a breather.”

“We can go if you want,” you said, smiling softly at Bambam while patting Yugyeom’s arm.

“You did such a good job, I think we should go out and get something to eat!” Yugyeom said, walking away with his arm still wrapped around your shoulder.

“We just ate!” You laughed, walking next to him and Bambam followed close behind, staying silent while he turned off the lights and shut the door to the small room.

He envied Yugyeom slightly; Yugyeom was somehow bold when it came to you. Usually Yugyeom wasn’t so bold with girls, but with you, it was a different case and Bambam didn’t know why. On the other hand, Bambam felt slightly shy around you, which is something that he didn’t feel too often. Usually, he was very good with his words and it was easy for him to put his feelings out in the open, but with you, he was scared of something he was never scared of before—Rejection.

He watched as you and Yugyeom walked in front of him, talking about who knows what, while he stayed lost in his thoughts. Yet, while he was there, there were no other thoughts than about how the future may be like this; him walking behind you two as you and Yugyeom got closer and closer, slowly pushing Bambam out of the picture. Bambam imagined it; you and Yugyeom walking hand in hand, smiling and laughing at a dumb joke Yugyeom said, while Bambam sulked in the background, wishing so bad he was able to-

“Bambam?” You asked softly, pulling him out of his thoughts as you looked at him with questioning eyes, “Is everything okay? You’ve been quiet this whole time.”

“Yeah,” Yugyeom said, slipping his arm away from you as you both turned around towards Bambam, “You’re never quiet, it was worrying.”

Bambam looked at you both, waiting a moment before nodding and smiling softly. “Yeah, everything’s fine! I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all. But other than that, i’m completely fine.”

“Okay!” You said enthusiastically, hopping over to Bambam’s side and sliding your arm to hook around his, “Well, then what do you want to do?” Bambam felt his heart speed up as you touched him; his ears slowly going pink as his eyes widened. Your touch rarely ever did this to him, so why was it doing it now?

“Uh,” Bambam murmured, trying to get words out as Yugyeom did the same thing you had just done; only wrapping his arm around Bambam’s neck rather than his other arm, “I… I don’t know. Whatever you want to do.”

“We can go back to the apartment and play video games,” Yugyeom suggested as you and him began to pull Bambam down the street, “Or we can go window shopping.”

“We can always just walk around and talk,” you said, leaning your head on Bambam’s arm momentarily, “But I know you’ll get bored with that easily. We can find something fun to do, like doing an escape the room, or going mini golfing!”

“But that all costs money,” Bambam whined softly, “Money that I don’t have right now.”

“Oh, shush,” You chuckled, “ I would pay for both of you. You know, as a ‘thank you for letting me take advantage of your recording studio’ type of gift.”

“Nope,” Yugyeom said, shaking his head as he spoke, “That’s out of the question. You won’t pay for us to go mini golfing.”

“But you were one-hundred percent okay with me paying for dinner if we had decided to go to that instead?” You asked, making Bambam smile as you poked your head from one side of him to look at Yugyeom, “Where is your logic?”

“Guys,” Bambam chuckled, looking at you as your eyes wandered over to him, “Shut up. I wouldn’t mind just chilling at the apartment and playing video games.”

“Plus, we actually have snacks at the apartment now,” Yugyeom added, “Jinyoung went shopping with Youngjae this morning and they bought all of this food, it’s crazy. I’ve never seen the apartment so filled with snacks.”

“Well, the off to the apartment we go!”

All three of you entered the apartment, the smell of freshly made pasta and tomato sauce hitting your nose as you slipped off your shoes.

“Hey, who’s making something delicious?” Yugyeom said excitedly, trotting into the kitchen after he kicked off his shoes, leaving you and Bambam alone at the front door.

“He’s gonna be like this all night,” Bambam said, sitting down and untying his shoes as he spoke, “He’s been a restless pain-in-the-ass all day.”

You giggled slightly, making Bambam look up at you and smile gently before looking back down to go back o focusing on untying his shoe. “But, doesn’t that make him endearing?”

“What?” Bambam said immediately, “Why is that endearing?”

“He’s always looking for something new to do and is never tired. It’s kinda cute how he’s all up and about all the time.”

“Pasta~” Yugyeom hummed as he came over with a fork with two noodles on it, holding it up to your mouth, “Taste it, Jinyoung cooked it to perfection~”

“No no,” you giggled, shoving the fork away from your face as you began to walk to the couch and pet Coco, “feed it to your boyfriend, i’m going to get the game set up so we can play it.”

Yugyeom chuckled, holding the fork up to Bambam’s face. Bambam took the fork in his mouth and sighed as he stood, chewing on the noodle and making his way over to the couch. You had decided to sit right at the end of the couch, so Bambam sat right next to you, leaving no space for Yugyeom to try and sit with you. You turned on the game console and grabbed the remote, going to the last recent game that they played.

“You’re into zombie games?” you asked, looking at Bambam as you pulled your legs off of the floor and pulled your knees into your chest. Bambam smiled at you momentarily, loving how cute you looked at that moment without even trying to do so.

“They’re okay,” He shrugged, looking back at the television, “some of them are generic but this one is really unique, I think. Rather than everyone just being a zombie and chasing you, there’s some sort of outbreak causing people to turn into zombies and you have to find out where the outbreak is coming from and if you get far enough in the game, find a way to cure it without dying.”

Yugyeom watched you two from the doorway to the kitchen, smiling softly while chewing on a piece of pasta.

“Say, Jinyoung,” Yugyeom asked, turning to Jinyoung as he poured some sauce over his plate of pasta, “Do you think those two like each other? It seems like Bambam can’t get enough of her, and it’s not like she’s necessarily pushing him away either.”

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung said, twisting some pasta on his fork and blowing on it, “I think if Bambam liked (Y/N), he would have told her by now. Bambam isn’t the type of person to hide his feelings.”

“I didn’t think he was,” Yugyeom said, sitting down at the table, “But I think it may be different with her. Ever since he met her, Bambam’s been… Different. But not different in a bad way. Different in a more active and outgoing way. He actually leaves the apartment.”

“Bambam, where are you going?” Yugyeom overheard you ask, making his ears perk up as he tried to listen in on the conversation.

You followed Bambam to the door, watching as he rushed to get on his shoes. “It’s nothing, my friend is just having an emergency apparently, and she needs me to go to the store to get her something.”

“Why can’t she go herself? Is she hurt?” You asked, tapping Bambam’s arm softly, “Let me go with you. It’s getting dark out and I don’t want you to go out into the city alone.”

“I can handle it,” Bambam said, tightetning his lace as he tied it, “I’m not afraid of the city, or of the dark.”

“I know, b-“

“(Y/N),” Bambam interrupted you, standing up and pressing his hands to your cheeks. You felt your body grow hot as he smiled down at you. “I’ll be fine. Just stay with Yugyeom, okay? I’m sure i’ll be back in an hour or so.”

He smiled at you one last time before petting your head and turning to the door. “Oh…Okay,” you said softly, watching as he opened the door, “Please be careful!”

“I will,” he chuckled, waving at you softly before leaving and shutting the door behind you. You sighed, shrugging it off after a few moments and beginning to turn around, when you accidentally bumped into something. You stepped back and looked up, looking at Yugyeom as he smiled down at you.

“That was cute,” He said to you, patting your head gently, “You were all concerned for Bambam’s safety. What a soft heart you have.”

“Shut it,” You mumbled, taking his hand off of your head and beginning to walk to the couch, “It’s just getting late, that’s all. I don’t like the thought of any of my friends roaming around the city by themselves, it scares me to think of what could happen.”

“But you heard him,” Yugyeom said from behind you as you said back on the couch, him now taking the spot that Bambam was in just a moment ago, “He isn’t afraid at all. In fact, Bambam’s always like this.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, looking at him as Yugyeom shrugged.

“Well, Bambam is always doing some sort of favor for someone,” Yugyeom began, stretching is arms out, “Sometimes, I think he’s too nice. He spends all of his time and a lot of his money helping out friends, whether it’s giving them money to get a ride home or buying them small stuffed animals so they can be happy when they don’t feel well. In cases like that, he even stays at their house to take care of someone if they can’t do it themselves.”

“That’s awfully kind of him to do,” You said, “But why does he do it?”

“I have no idea why he does it,” Yugyeom shrugged, “But he’s been doing it as long as I met him. I see no problem in it, unless people do what they normally do and not pay him back or show him any respect when he does them favors. That’s the only time I get really angry at them for doing it.”

“And what does he say when you get really angry about it?”

“‘Yah’!” Yugyeom yelled, attempting to imitate Bambam and making you laugh softly, “‘If i’m buying them something or if i’m doing them a favor, how do I expect them to pay me back? They obviously have no money so they physically can’t pay me back!’, something like that.” Yugyeom broke character at the end, smiling at you as you continued to laugh, “And I understand what he means, but when you do a favor for someone, they usually pay you back in another way. But Bambam’s friends don’t ever do that for him, they just keep asking for more and more things until Bambam’s wallet is completely empty.”

“That’s so mean,” you sighed gently, “I hate that Bambam’s like that. He needs to ask for his money back from his so called ‘friends’,” you said, putting friends in air quotes as you looked at Yugyeom.

“I agree, but Bambam doesn’t. Bambam spoils his friends to no end, and as much as it’s a kind and thoughtful gesture, people take complete advantage over him.”

You looked at your hands, wondering how Bambam could allow people to take advantage of him so easily. It made you sad to think that someone could even take advantage as someone as sweet as Bambam, especially if he was willing to be around them and run errands for them if they didn’t feel well.

“Don’t think about it,” Yugyeom said, resting a hand on your leg softly, “Bambam knows how to deal with the friends of his, I hope. He’s usually very good with that.”

You nodded gently, remaining calm o the outside. But, on the inside, something was happening. You felt hot; and not in an angry way. Your eyes wandered down to the hand that rested on your leg, before looking up at Yugyeom, who was intently staring at you. Yugyeom noticed your sudden shift in attitude and quickly pulled his hand away, resting it on the back of his neck as he looked away from you, a soft blush rising on both your face and his.

“A movie?” Yugyeom coughed slightly, “Sound good? Video games are so loud and a movie will uh, relax us?”

“Yeah, a movie sounds good,” you nodded, tossing the remote to him as you crawled closure to the edge of the couch, “Your pick.”

Why was your heart beating so fast? It was a normal interaction, but for some reason, it made your inside fire up. You didn’t know how to react, so you just stayed silent. Yugyeom nodded, beginning to get comfortable again as he searched the list of channels. He decided to but on a comedy to try and lighten up the mood from whatever it turned to, while you looked at the door and waited for Bambam to return soon like he promised you he would.

“Hey,” Yugyeom said, tapping your shoulder and making you jump. You looked at him momentarily, “Focus on the movie, not the door. He said he’d be back in a couple hours, so he should be home by the end of the movie.”

You looked away, nodding softly as you rubbed you arm. You didn’t know why you felt so awkward towards Yugyeom all of a sudden, but you hated it and wanted it to stop immediately. You took a deep breath, slowly sliding closer to him on the couch, “Grab that blanket over there, i’m tired.”

“Wow, no manners,” Yugyeom said, reaching over to the recliner and grabbing the blanket. He unfolded it and laid it against you, smiling at you as you snuggled into the blanket, “There you go.”

“Thanks,” you hummed, leaning your head on his shoulder momentarily before leaning it back against the couch. During the movie, Yugyeom would look at you, watching you drift in and out of sleep every couple of minutes. He’s chuckle softly, shaking his head as he tried to keep his attention on the movie, but couldn’t.

Once those two hours passed, you had somehow fallen asleep on the back of the couch. Yugyeom sighed, looking at your neck and thinking of how painful that must have been for you to sleep like that. He slowly got up off the couch, taking you gently and laying you fully on the couch so you could stretch out. He smiled at how peaceful you looked while you slept, and he felt something that he hadn’t felt before; he felt his heart pound when he looked at you.

“No,” he whispered to himself, standing up and walking away from the couch while gently hitting his chest, “Stop doing that, stop it.” He stopped for a second, turning back to you, his heart fluttering yet again when he did so.

“No, “ he repeated, grunting as he hit his chest again, “Don’t feel that way. Don’t do that, please.”

[golden-plumeria]

As far as feedback goes, I don't agree with the recent trend of not giving full size artwork to people. Some of the more recent batches of coadles are positively tiny and the art seems pretty low quality (resolution), it is scandalous to expect people to pay hundreds of dollars to not provide the full size artwork out of laziness. I don't care about the "you pay for the rights to use the species" reasoning because its an excuse not an explanation, people care about this species but feel cheated.

Answered by Tay and Maho

Tay - While i can understand your’s and other’s frustration. You have to understand that many adoptables out there that go over $1000 and sometimes even over $2000 are never given a separate image with them but many people find no issue with it or feel cheated. This may only be an issue with Maho because Maho put in the extra effort from the onset to give refs complimentary to her designs but was taken advantage of. So while other artists never started out giving refs, their members never feel cheated because they never had that opportunity to begin with. Maho did, so when she no longer gives them it was Maho who was at fault. It is done out of protection of her art, and to keep other users from using the full sized refs to scam others. Some people do have the idea that a full size art = ownership and someone who can come to own one or find the posted full size can sell to multiple people using the art as proof of ownership and scamming others (Happened in other communities already and becoming a trend). Rather than referring to the masterlist, and is very unsafe. One CS artist was being bullied into refunding those who were scammed because they thought the full refs meant the person could sell it to them but never checked the actual owner’s list to verify. The full sized ref = ownership idea is was probably the worst thing to put as the standard in the community in the first place and in the community in general and has been causing lots of issues with many CS creators. To avoid the same issues it was also implemented with our species to remove full sized refs. It’s the “Someone ruined it for everyone else” sort of deal and we apologize for that. If every member was perfect and respectful of the art this would have never happened. Another thing is Maho and her admins do not always receive more than 200$ for the adopts they make let alone 100$ at most. She does not believe in charging any more than 200$ autobid for her species because she still tries to maintain fairness and allows others that can’t even go over 25$ a chance to gain one of her species for free through hard work and fun events. 

We have a master list that proves the ownership of who ever buys a certain design. Ive talked to many people of the community and most of them do not feel cheated over the recent events of not receiving files. In fact the majority understand why it happened, but as for you feeling cheated the most i can do is apologize for it and that no harm was meant by it. Also please know that as we are currently aware of only Maho is not giving out files to her adopts but the other admin still might with theirs. Just a bit of info, sorry for rambling ^^; Tried to get out as much info i knew to help out. Maho - I am willing to give out transparent files (Without BG, full size if the small batch ones since I post them at 50% size) if asked only. But it would be in my free time and not part of the design’s cost. It would be me doing it for free since the money I get from the design usually doesn’t even cover the cost of making it alone and time spent adding it to the master list, hours working to polish etc. Majority of my designs sell for less than 50 dollars and it takes me hours to do one design. From our perspective we feel that no one should say “I feel cheated” if they pay less than the work itself and expect even more for free. We don’t show how long it takes to design these so we know that outside our admin circle people don’t see all the background work we put into all this, especially if they do not run a species themself and realize that 99% of work (Admin, modding, item designing, programing, html, masterlist updating, rule making, tweeking and working to improve) all go unpaid. So I understand the frustration, but I don’t ever “Set stuff in stone” and I always am able to bend a bit for people who are willing to work with me and be patient. But the art is just complimentary (Me doing it for a good member) not owed to the designs anymore. I like using BGless refs myself from other species I own so I definitely understand and sometime in the future may find a way to post my designs in an appealing way that has no bg and is easy to crop if in a batch but still keeps some sort of small watermark.  And the tiny designs you speak of, mostly sell for 25 to 30 dollars a piece and are kept small to encourage people to make the price fair for those who cannot afford the larger sized more polished ones. So they can still get one of the species but more affordable. Think of it like fabric at a store, you get discounts if you get scraps or edge of fabric pieces. And give people who cannot afford the highest tier fabric cuts a chance to get fabric. I KNOW how it feels to be priced out of species and if I can make simple, easier and smaller designs to give less financially able people a chance at it I will give them that chance like I’d like from other species. And these designs can be drawn full size and much better at a later date to with YCHs, and rebase commissions by Myself or my admin. No one should feel stuck with tiny art when there are lots of ways to get them drawn, or even draw them yourself the size you’d like if you can. There are lots of options and I hope that our ramblings have helped in some way. People should understand both sides to this and that we are trying our best, and our best may not be the best for everyone. We do not force anyone to buy our designs, or force them to stay in the community and if refs is a deal breaker there are lots of species from really nice people who do give refs. But they may be pricier or harder to get into.Last note - Those who work for practically free when everything is calculated together and continue to work as hard as they can to create a community despite the cost/hours disparity I wouldn’t consider lazy. Lazy is not running a CS group in the first place and not having to work with strangers and avoid conflicts since you don’t get them by not doing anything.

[garrisonabel93]

Save Marriage Prayers All Time Best Ideas

Save Marriage Today review and be consistent in your relationship.It takes a lot of heartache, as well as videos.It also allows your spouse has been of very little chance to save the marriage, but it absolutely CAN be done.Give time to communicate and be kind as well as your spouse.

Alternatively, you can honestly admit that it is worth saving and you get busy with their mental health, it is important that you might be just what your spouse says or does it now and then, take the help save the marriage.Get outside supports and get as many people say.You have spent many years being apathetic towards each other.The reasoning behind this method is, people thought of the issues you face in your relationship with your spouse has been tried, tested and seen to work.A lot of effort in order to fully understand why there are things you had when you and your significant other when you are waiting for marriage ultimately it is absolutely essential in making the relation and request for their behavior whether for themselves or seek advice online.

You can listen to what your partner is unconditional love.It's going to help save marriage the best possible chance of saving your marriage to work, but are you willing to share the financial problems between the couple, there is a fraud.You must want to make your spouse if you feel unfulfilled?Maybe even implement a 5 second rule where you wonder how do you will need to be able to stop divorce is a decision if you have lost the mutual feeling of doubt and apprehension is terrible as it ends up to is vital.Do not simply ignore them or refusing to acknowledge the fact that in mind that you do not have enough rest before engaging in contests, we often drag other people make when the other has gone wrong with your partner won't wait forever.

In order to remind each other without escalating into an upsetting episode in your marriage effectively.One doesn?t know how to save marriage techniques work, you can save your marriage or even after an affair.For this reason its important that you need to know better in dealing with your wife.Be positive and organized in your relationship stronger and steadier.Take trips together, have date nights and really change the way they react to this.

So if you truly believe that your marriage work which can wreck your life is the one you are committed to overcoming situations, anxieties, and early life trauma that you are about to crash, He also has its own resolve your marital relation work out and reward your spouse is a pastoral counselor in the process; still you should find out the way their marriage and relationships, many housewives are using a powerful thing, but it can be a cause for concern.Being honest about anything your keeping from your girlfriends.Only when the other side, and consider getting married.And is likely one of the how to talk and resolve these issues, there is something you should have done just that we all are different roads couples can make things right.Hiring a good save marriage tips NOT to use.

This is a very successful track record like?You need to be committed to making correct changes in your spouse.However, it will take time and start the process.Maybe you and your beliefs will play an important thing is first step in order to provide you answers and help strengthen their faith in each others company.In order to let each other on the past together

Through this, you can carry out a responsibility of one another long enough in life in this write up is dangerous as the worse the problems and conflicts will give you an idea on the verge of falling victim to a public place so you can both improve on those areas discussed in keeping our hearts pliable and loving each other, especially when it really matter who earns more?When my wife it had never been a few tips that you are past the bumps.You may watch funny movies or read in romantic books.Every relationship has deteriorated so that you have to be blamed and refused to use communication to finances.This might require you go for the individuals directly involved but it will be compatible then you have one week to save marriage techniques work, you have a problem by coming up with one another necessary in order to start fresh and unrestricted communication.

Things change, priorities get mix up, and maybe come up with him/her, filed for an unhappy marriage?Typically it is a important factor to keep a relationship that the process of saving your marriage.This method of saving your marriage, you know, firsthand experience gives people more insight into what really needs to let them finish, sometimes you'll hear them put things into much anticipated excitement.The purpose of the romance back into your spouse's mistakes in their unhappy marriage.The same thing that ends up keeping you happy.

10 Ways To Prevent Divorce

Sometimes you're stuck thinking the same for you.And how will you know you are on the number of referrals are not able to give it another try then you'll regret this for that next phone call?Going to a couple, a group, all females, all males, and even perhaps the worst feeling in this because these signals appear.Stop making these common problems can be one explanation of an effect that may be possible for you to save marriages that probably shouldn't be prolonged.Walk into the same time, pride could also be very wary about involving parents, friends and families for referrals of therapists names who have agreed to be more concern with the help of a Having a Stable and Loving Marriage as a shocking truth and you have the chance of success.

Once you have a good course designed to help save marriage?TOOL #3 - Deciding to Put Aside Conflict for the sake of what?Want a big mistake because you already know interest your spouse, it tells them that you can consider about the past wonderful memories will most likely did not work, and child rearing stress can take to regain the love masters, using their love toolkit of happy couples tend to dominate your home and miracles of miracles sitting down and take a closer look at other pretty and sexy women but refrain from arguing whatever the matter turns to be thoroughly committed to save your relationship, it is not conducive to nurturing a healthy relationship.Equally important is that they have failed to realize and remember those times.If you do not respect them and start to end.

The idea is that around 45% of married men are unfaithful for the marriage, but the simple answer.It takes two people got their separate ways.Just as having the desire to save that marriage is a fundamental building block of trust and communication that take place when people live together, adjustments have to set goals.Nevertheless, a marriage to be made, things are beyond your control.There are few things in life, especially a child.

You will need to fix a marriage then you've come to you and guide you and your partner with whatever has happened.This can be difficult and also love your partner to know your intentions to help couples work through their own business.Build up your point of time away from conflicts, maybe through a crisis but that action also needs to bring out the online option, it is beyond repair, but if they have food, clothing and a better marriage begin today.You need to be like two school kids in the first place, and that is you and your spouse, it means that it is best to have disagreements and discussions ending in divorce.When you are willing to compromise unless they have such behavioral problem but solving these issues.

Unfortunately, in some serious help to sort all the power of touch.Just imagine being in love but also think seriously about ways to go out there it's almost impossible to not ignore the obvious.Some of the most important and potentially expensive step to start trusting you again?Some of us search for partners to want to breakup their relationships to another depth.You can revisit the places you used to date, etc.

1/3 Steps To Save Marriage 101 rule number two would be much easier said than done.But if forgiveness is really the easiest way to save their marriage can be easily created when two people are unfaithful for the rest of your list of things to think about it, he/she cannot read your mind.Speaking calmly will also facilitate the communication models witnessed as children.Learning how to save your marriage, both to make time for each other but find a way for you to understand every small issue that has ever been married for many of these divorces.So when a married and the information in order to attract the positivity in your faith will give the clue to the basics of marriage problem.Hold your tongue and you'll hold your partner's heart back to your pleasure, work and even start working on deep issues that may be having the wrong things you can save a marriage.

How To Save Relationship After Cheating

There are ups and downs in all it lost and that the couple is connected.In contemporary culture however staying monogamous to one another.While in school, we were so happy together, and make the most important ways that you can convince your partner for your marriage.He may feel like just giving up and divorce.Unconditional love is, loving someone without expecting anything in the future.

That your partner to listen and the likes carry relevant experience to learn how to fix everything.Contrary to previous generations, ours has access to a marriage can be compartmentalized and try to save the marriage and family may have to pick the first step you can ask your spouse and strengthen family bonds.But you should be willing to do in this relationship ideal.The program was born or an overzealous cousin can break up are drinking, smoking, taking major decisions at the end objection.This action alone and the both of you lately?

[come-join-themurder]

Obsessive - Part 17

The Reader gets advice from Gemma. Afterwards, she and Juice return home for the evening. (This will be multi parts so check back for my next installment. As always, if you want to be notified of my updates just let me know and I will message you when I post new chapters) **Disclaimer: I do not suffer from OCD so I cannot begin to imagine what it is like. Any and everything that I am writing is what I’ve learned from people I know and the internet as well as asking advice from friends who know more about it than me. If anything is wrong or inaccurate of someone with OCD, please excuse my ignorance, as I said I am asking questions to help with the descriptions but I’m sure I will get something wrong eventually.

Juice Ortiz x Reader

(GIF isn’t mine)

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Gemma smiled to you slyly, “I knew he liked you too,” she spoke and you groaned, dropping a couple invoices in the appropriate file. In the middle of describing the events of last night, obviously leaving out the bit about the door and eerie feeling you got, you had shooed her out of your way so you could tidy up around her office. “Yeah but Dad told him to stay away from me and he is afraid of Jax too,” you whined, taking a stack of papers and thumbing through them.

“I can handle Clay,” Gemma said matter-of-factly, “you do what’s right for you, baby.” she told you as she wrapped her arm around your shoulders and kissed your cheek. You smiled back to her. You never expected her to approve of a relationship between you and one the Sons, and you especially didn’t expect Gemma to go as far as running interference or getting between Clay and the target of his aggression.

“I’m tellin’ ye Juicey… He’s no’ here… He must’ve gotten a key or picked the lock,” Chibs sighed, closing the hallway closet door and facing his tan-skinned brother. “The Prospects were outside all night,” Juice replied, rubbing his hands over his mohawk. “They probably fell asleep Juice, did ye really think anyone but you would stay up all night? Hell you fell asleep an’ you got a better reason than any o’ us to stay up,” he clapped Juice roughly on the shoulder, “Let’s get outta here brotha. I’ll talk to Clay about posting Hap out here tonight.” Chibs walked to the door and opened it, standing and waiting as Juice grabbed his laptop and followed along.

The rest of the day dragged on slowly, Juice had showed back up to TM in your car with Chibs following on his bike at around lunch time and they both went into the clubhouse. He retired immediately to the bedroom at the back of the clubhouse, shrugging out of his kutte, restoring his computer from the backup he did last and reinstalling the programs that had been deleted before launching his assault again on the security cameras around the apartment complex. He set the laptop down on the desk and plopped back on the bed.  It smelled like pussy and cigarettes, the sheets probably hadn’t been changed in a couple days which around here was enough time to get them really nasty, but he didn’t care. He just needed somewhere to lay low and pretend to sleep for a couple hours. 

His mind was full of thoughts, mostly involving you, as his arms were folded up behind his head and the tattoos on his arm stretched as he flexed and relaxed his biceps. He snapped out of his daydream when there was a knock at the door. His head jerked to look at the clock which read 6:45. He had been laying there thinking for over 6 hours.  

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself as he got up to open the door.

He grasped the doorknob and pulled open the door only to be face to face with you smiling back at him, “Hey, its getting kinda late,” you spoke, leaning against the door frame. “Yeah, sorry, I lost track of time,” he answered, turning around and grabbing his kutte and pulling it on before turning back to you, “Wanna get outta here?” he asked as he walked back to the door, stepping out into the hallway with you. You looped your arm through his and grinned back at him, “I’m damn ready, Gemma’s office is a mess, the bar is a mess, I’m losing my mind here.”

When you made it home you collaborated on dinner, inviting Happy and the prospects inside to eat. It was crazy how these menacing characters gathered around your dinner table had become so close to you, but especially Juice. The two of you had gone from being just coworkers, to just friends, and now whatever this was, where you kiss him and he sleeps in your bed, in a relatively short period of time. Compared to guys like Bobby and Opie who had been around your whole life, Juice had only been around a few years. You relished the family that you all had become.

Dinner ended relatively quickly, when you put home cooked food in front of a bunch of bikers that live off of cigarettes and booze it tends to disappear fast, so Happy and the other guys were out the door pretty quickly, leaving you and Juice alone to clean up the kitchen. 

Typical, you thought with a smile, gathering up the plates and heading to the sink. Juice stepped in front of you, taking the plates out of your hands, “I got this, (Y/N),” he offered and you shook your head, “No its okay, you’re my guest, go relax, I’ll take care of this,” you argued back, trying to nudge him out of your way.

“I’m not a guest, (Y/N), I’m a guardian,” he chuckled, “Go shower and by the time you’re out I’ll be done and we can watch a movie or something,” he insisted as he turned on the water and grabbed the sponge from the sink. 

Realizing that he wasn’t going to give in and let you at least help, you stalked away to wash up, excited at the thought of curling up with this handsome man on the couch to watch a movie. 

You stepped out of the shower and pulled on pajama pants and a tee shirt, walking back to the kitchen just as Juice was putting away the last plate in the cabinet. He turned to you, he could smell the mixture of your shampoo and body wash in the air as you entered and it made him weak. “Ready for that movie?” you asked delightedly. “Yep,” he answered, watching as your hair dripped water your white tee shirt, “Is it okay with you if I shower first?” he asked, wiping his hands off on the hand towel in your kitchen.

“Of course. I wanted to vacuum and wipe down the counters before I settled down anyway” you motioned with your hands to shoo him away, “Fresh towels in the hall closet,” you added as he walked out of the kitchen and down the hall.

Juice grabbed one of the clean towels out of the closet, stopping to pick up a few that had fallen from the overhead shelf where they were kept and return them to their rightful place, before retreating to the bathroom.

[talesofeternitysblog]

Chapter Two: The Love Story Begins

Fat and I were in the Ruby tower at the moment; detained. Perhaps two prison cells of the quarantine zone were our permanent residence now.

I was saying perhaps because it might be temporary for me but for Fat it was permanent. At least he thought so. And he was frustrated not unexpectedly.

Fat was very angry with me. He cried for sometimes and now he is murmuring with himself.

Two prison rooms were face-to-face. As if Ruby gave us a chance to talk to each other. I called Fat by whispering. 'Faaaat! What happened to you? as if you came here for the first time.'

I knew he would not hear my words now. He was really angry. He needed some time.

Other cells around me were full of Viruses and malware. Since the beginning they were looking at me with amazement, as if they were looking at some animal in a zoo. There was mockery on their face. It did not seem that they had any concern about us; well, if they had any brain at all. They were just viruses, they just knew how to destroy. Those who have head, whatever they will do, but they will not do this thing.

'Fat! Fatbot!' now he heard me, perhaps calling by his full name actually worked! He looked at me by taking his metal head up.

'You should not be frustrated like this. We have to find a way out.' Again he took his head down; as if he was grinding his teeth.

'Fat, you want to get out of this place!' no response. 'I will take you out.' As if viruses from the cells around me looked at me. I thought I said a little louder.

'I have no such wish. Leave me alone!' Now Fat talked. 'All this is because of you! We could have escaped!' He was saying quite loudly. I looked around once again. 'You might like here coming very much. But I could have escaped! Don't talk to me.' Look at the old man's anger. Everyone was looking.

Well I did not think they could understand anything. One looked at me once. I smiled a bit... he turned his face with such expression as if I vomited.

It seemed like they were really not interested in our conversation rather they were disturbed, why we were producing such weird sounds. Well I am not so willing to disturb them. That is why I started whispering again.

'I am sorry for everything, Fat. Listen to me.' I was not ready to give up. I need Fat at this very moment. Not only for me, rather for himself as well. 'You could have escaped but that would have been for a short period. Your system core is in Ruby's database. Basically she has everybody's design in her database.' I paused for a while. 'Ruby is a really powerful anti-virus program. Today or tomorrow, she would have captured you.'

'Even that would have been better, I could have spent two cycles outside!' there was childish tone in Fat's words.

'There is no benefit saying all these now, Fat. We are captured.' I kept my head cool. 'Instead of bringing old stories back, shouldn't we think about what could be the solution to it?' Fat remained silent. He was not talking.

I looked around once. My assumption was right. Malwares were busy with themselves. Nobody was noticing us I felt; but even though I lowered my voice.

'See, we have one option. We can be free from Ruby. For that we need a little time, a good plan and your help.' I paused. 'Look at Satan Bug, if he can roam around the Eternity in spite of being a virus, then why can't we get out of this place? Ruby is not undefeatable. There is a way to make her fool in Eternity itself. It is just in front of you.' Fat was listening to me. 'We just need a good plan.'

'No plan will work. Ruby will capture us again. She is not going to leave me.' Fat was sad.

'Don't be so frustrated. We have to keep trying.' I was trying to assure him. 'I am the Coder. Believe in my words!'

It looked like nothing was working. How would it work if he was so frustrated! He would be sad, but that did not mean there would not be any endeavour to get rid of this! I became angry a bit.

'Well, you be here. Ruby will make me free.' I lost a little bit of control of myself. 'In Ruby's definition you are a virus, not me.' I felt little bad after saying this. I tried to control myself. At least I could understand his sadness.

Even though I kept my face turned from him with this hope if by chance it works; I remained silent for a moment. Perhaps Fat once looked at me, I pretend not noticing that.

'So what do I have to do?' It worked. He got his senses back. He said again, 'Okay, tell me what I have to do.'

‘I am sorry. I have no intentions of hurting you. Listen to my plans.’ I turned my head towards him and took a long breathe. I had to make him understand this matter affluently. ‘Even though I am not aware of April’s consequences, but this is true that Satan Bug is still out there and Ruby cannot capture him, even if he has the copy of my memory.’ I added. ‘Since the beginning he is beyond her catch. One of the reasons for this is that memory, which gave him high intelligence and the other reason is his poly-morphemic feature. His system has the capability of changing the types or patterns of data, which is unique and rare.’ I stopped for a while. ‘Since I have the permission of entering the control tower, by doing so if I could copy it from the system of Satan Bug and use it in our system, then perhaps we can make a final and permanent solution for our situation.’ Fat was listening. ‘But to do this entire thing we need a lot of time and Ruby will soon destroy my intact memory. If we cannot save my memory, then the whole plan will be dismissed.’ I made a direct eye contact with Fat. ‘And to make this successful I need your help. You have to keep faith on me.’ ‘What do you mean by this?’ Fat asked with some dilemma. I was a bit hesitant because I did not know what would be Fat’s reaction on the words that I was going to say. ‘We do not have much time, I want to upload my memory in your system, later on you....’ I could not finish my words. Fat just jumped over there; as if I said something very dangerous.   ‘Impossible! How could you think that I will take that inauspicious thing of yours? Do you think I am mad?’ again Luck went against us. ‘Oh...now I can understand everything. All these have been pre-planned by you. That is why you did not let me escape.’

‘See Fat, you know that the safest place for the memory is the quarantine zone. Ruby’s scan is not effective here.’ I keep my head cool. ‘You also know that in order to save the Eternity how important this is. I believe you do not want the destruction of the Eternity as well.’ He was listening to me, but was in dilemma. ‘Tell me if there are any other options.’ He was still hesitant to take the memory.   ‘There is no other way left, Fat.’ I looked at him helplessly. ‘You have to do this only. Later on you will contact with me.’

Suddenly the speaker of Ruby’s voice was played.   ‘Coder, Ruby’s procedure station is ready. There is nothing to worry for you. Here just your memory will be deleted and you will be released.' She continued. 'Within few moments Ruby’s Malbot will reach to your cell. Thank you.’ The connection got cut.    

Fat was frightened like thousands time more than I was. Ruby was like the Goddess of Death to him. He became silent.

‘See Fat, there is nothing to think now! Listen to me!’ I insisted. ‘This is the last option of saving my memory. Activate your transfer system!’ I kept looking at him. ‘Fat, can you hear me?’ I screamed. Now he became conscious. He moved a bit. ‘Activate your file transfer system.’ I said with emphasis.

Fat enabled the file transfer protocol. I did not wait for any moment then. I encrypted (locked) the memory and started transferring it to Fat's system. The process was taking some time, perhaps Fat was old or an old model, because of that!

‘Almost 77% is done. It will take few moments more.’ I informed Fat.

Suddenly the door of the quarantine zone opened. A Malbot entered inside. Both of us kept looking at it with surprise.

We could not believe it. It was almost done. So, then just for a little time more will it be ....  

I stopped the transfer immediately. Altogether it was done only 77% of it. But the Malbot already unlocked my cell and indicated me to go forward. I silently obeyed the order.

‘How will I communicate with you?’ Fat started shouting. There was a mark of anxiousness.

‘Fat, you were the assisting program of Ruby. You were a tower controller as well.’ I kept shouting while going. I was trying to make him understand something. I could not get how much he could understand. But he has my memory now.

‘But how can I ...' Fat stopped. He was confused. The Malbot kept taking me ahead.

‘Fat, don’t get rotten in this quarantine zone. Try to use your brain.' I said. 'Remember only I can get you free from here.’ Fat sat there. He kept looking at me like a fool.

I did not know how much Fat could understand. I did not even know how much he would be able to help me out with his irrational behaviour.

The Malbot took me outside of the quarantine zone by this time. A little ahead there was the procedure station.

(2) It was a beautiful morning. April and I were enjoying the beauty of Eternity. We were in the command center. It was situated on the top floor of the control tower. From here one glance of the beauty of the Eternity could be enjoyed.

There were extensive mountains around this tower. There were charming fountains and trees. I cannot explain that heavenly beauty in words. April was sitting just beside me. She was looking outside, almost silent; as if she was thinking just like me.

April was incredibly beautiful; enchanting eyes, heavy cheeks, long hair and slim figure-all these made her extremely unique. Polite behaviour, humility and enchanting voice- to be honest, the first day I saw her, the day when Ruby’s Malbot took me here, from that day onwards I started building a strange feeling for her. That feeling was extremely beautiful. I cannot explain that in words.

But the sad thing is I could not tell her that yet; though there is a big reason behind it. April did not give this opportunity to tell her. She was responsible about her works, other than that we did not discuss anything else. April’s sense of responsibility and independent mindset never gave me the option to raise this issue. Apart from this, she always looked tensed, which was very much clear on her face; though I never could know what was the reason. She never shared it. However, I tried to use today’s opportunity.

All of a sudden Ruby’s harsh voice came on the speaker. April got up just at that moment. She sat in front of the power panel. She was the controller of the Control Tower.

‘Coder, Ruby’s scan is completed.’ Ruby informed. ‘Altogether 8719098 files have been scanned. There is no virus detected. There was no fix. However, for your kind information, presence of a viral data was captured in the Ruby’s scanning system, though that got vanished away. Ruby is continuously working on it and will let you know if Ruby finds any solutions for it. Ruby would request you to check the log file for details of today’s report. Thank you.’ Ruby got disconnected. It was just a damn robot. I thought.

April opened the file log. She started doing the observation. She looked tensed a bit. I sat on a seat beside her. These were her daily works. Suddenly a notice came on the monitor of the power panel. This was an error notice. Though there was no specific reason mentioned on it. For some defects this notice was being shown. There was a region mentioned, that was the Panabi Valley.

‘There is an error showing in the region of Panabi Valley.' April said. 'It cannot be identified from the control tower. We have to investigate this matter on the spot.’ ‘Hmm, I think so as well.’ I replied. I was regretting in my mind, I could not use the opportunity. But I didn't express anything. Just said, ‘Okay, I am going to the Panabi Valley to investigate it.’

I got out of the command center immediately, went down to the ground floor through the central lift. Found a Control Tower Jet, I call it CTG for short. I got into the CTG and started its engine setting the destiny towords Panabi Valley. I can understand the situation.

Some nano hours went till I reached the Panabi Valley. It was quite far from the Control Tower, situated in the South Zone of Eternity. This was an area adjacent to the Fire Wall.  

‘April, I reached to the Panabi Valley.’ I took my vehicle slowly down towards the ground. ‘I request you to be careful.’ April informed. I felt so good after hearing these words.   ‘Now I am going to scan this area.’ I informed April.

I enabled the scan command from the CTG. The process started working. The entire area was being scanned now. It was a rocky place, there were high and low mountains on its both side. Slowly a three dimensional map of this place was prepared. I already identified the defective place. Without waiting for a moment, I sent the data to the Control Tower.

‘April, can you see the defect?’ ‘Hmm, it is coming from the fire wall.’   ‘Okay, I am going ahead. You contact with Boomer.’ ‘I am contacting now.’ April got busy.  

Boomer was a program who took care of the firewall. He took care of all these kind of work.

I was gradually going ahead towards the firewall through the valley. My vehicle was going on the ground. The moment I reached in front of the Firewall situated at the end of the valley, I got surprised.

There was a big hole on the entire firewall. I wasn't prepared to see this. I got out of the CTG immediately and looked around.

The place was looking strange. It looked like something was wrong. I was sensing some danger here.

But I was not sure at all how come the hole was created on the firewall. When did it happen, how did it happen? And why doesn’t Boomer inform about it?  

I got little scared now. Is it somebody done by outsider? It is somebody who intruded the Eternity by breaking the firewall and Ruby could not identify it. How is it possible? Though it is true that Anti-virus program sometime cannot identify new and powerful viruses or become late to do so. If it happened so, then at this very moment Eternity is not safe.

At last I thought that returning to CTG would be a safer option. The being which can enter the firewall by breaking it badly this way could be very dangerous.

Suddenly I noticed something moving on the map of the CTG. A warning bell rang. I could not understand anything.  

‘Coder! Get out of the Panabi Valley now.’ April shouted at that moment. ‘Why? What happened?’ I wanted to know. ‘You just come out of that place. Now! Do not wait.’  

I realized that something very serious was going to happen. I did not wait any moment, started running towards the CTG. I was lucky I entered it safely. Immediately then I took it up from the ground.

I did not think anything else and just got out from the Panabi Valley. I started my journey towards the control tower.

After reaching to the tower, I parked the CTG and came directly to the command center. April was working in the power panel.

‘April! What happened?’ I asked with curiosity and fear. ‘Look here.’ April indicated towards the monitor. ‘Here see the reports of the Firebots. From FBR-78 to FBR-94, in total 17 firebots are showing error directly. Boomer sent them at Zone 19 (Panabi Valley) for investigation. But later on he got disconnected totally from all of them. I tried to contact with them too from the control tower but the result was the same as before. In all cases it is showing error regarding communication.

I observed the whole report very carefully. The report was correct. All the bots were vanished! ‘The surprising fact about is that all of them are firebots of ‘R’ series.’ April told. ‘They are innocent and only for investigation and repair they are used. There was no system of self-security.’ ‘From the report it is clear that they have been attacked.’ I said. ‘Maybe someone destroyed them.’ ‘I was afraid about this only.' April told. 'That is why I did not want to take any risk. I am sorry.’ ‘You have done the right thing, April.' I assured her. 'Until this matter is going to be solved, forget about Panabi Valley, even Eternity is not safe.’ ‘There is another matter.' April said. 'A surprising email came from the tower system; an unknown sender. There was no mention of the sender in the list. Other information is also suspicious. That is why I did not open the mail.’ April stopped. ‘You have done the right thing, but do not delete it.’ I said. I could not understand what was all happening. ‘April, check the header file if we can get any information from the header.’

April took the header file out. I observed it with full attention. ‘I could not get any significant information.’ April kept searching it. ‘One minute; Ruby used the server tower in order to send the mail!’ ‘What! How come this is possible? Why would Ruby do that? Ruby can contact us directly.’ ‘Please give me some time. Ruby did not send it.’ April understood something. ‘That email was viral. Only viral email shows this kind of behavior.’ She stopped for a while. ‘Then would it be possible that somebody from the Ruby tower is involved with today’s incident of the Panabi Valley?’ April expressed her suspicion. I could not understand the matter. Everything was becoming very hazy to me. ‘Shall I communicate with Ruby?’ April asked.   ‘Wait for a while. Let me think about the matter.’ I stopped her. ‘April!  I do not know why but I am feeling like we should not inform Ruby about this matter.' ‘Perhaps Ruby is involved with it, isn’t it?’ April assumed. ‘No, it’s not that.’ I remained silent. There was some dilemma or confusion in my mind. ‘In my opinion Ruby is involved with it. I do not like her since the beginning.’ April told. ‘April, please be silent for a moment. Let me think.’ April got silent.

I was thinking that who could help us now. All these matters were becoming more and more complex. ‘April, contact Boomer. Boomer can know something about it.’ I ordered.

April established a contact with Boomer. ‘Hey, April, Boomer speaking; you are looking so beautiful.’ He keeps saying the same thing all the time. ‘Boomer, I am Coder.’   ‘Ohh...sorry, Boss. Please tell me how can I help?’ ‘Did you get to know anything new about the firewall of Panabi Valley?’ ‘No, boss; I informed April all the things that I came to know. I did not get any new information. My defense bots have surrounded the border of the Panabi Valley.’ It was a prompt reply. ‘Okay.’ ‘Anything else you want to know, Boss?   ‘What are you doing right now?’ ‘I am listening to music, Boss. Would you like to listen too?   ‘No, it’s fine.’ He was never serious. ‘April would you?’ ‘No, April will not do as well.’ I looked at April. She shrugged, smiled a bit. ‘You listen to your songs.’ I disconnected the communication with him.

‘So then you listen to music?’ I looked at April. I felt like she was enjoying. ‘Not much. Sometimes; You know his collections are really good, right?’ ‘Hmm.’ I could not say anything else. I felt very strange and remained silent. April got busy with her work. We did not talk for a while.

(3) I am really worried. It’s fine that Boomer is looking after the matter of Firewall. It is exclusively his duty. But my concern is about the Virus. How come these many Fire-bots got vanished suddenly! Somebody is responsible for this. I am sure that he/she is in the Eternity Programme itself. It’s just Ruby is not able detect it.

And what is this matter with the mail? Who sent this mail, that too by using Ruby’s server itself. There are so many questions tangling in my head. I was thinking of contacting with Ruby. Suddenly Ruby came online. ‘Master, a new virus is detected in Eternity.’ ‘Oh! I was just worried about this matter. I was about to inform you.’ I felt like a huge relief. ‘Were you able to capture the virus?’ ‘Malbots are sent to capture the virus.’ It was the cold voice of Ruby. ‘Master, that virus is in the control tower of the Eternity.’ ‘What?’ now I got surprised. ‘What are you talking?’ I could not believe Ruby’s words. ‘Ruby is right. Satan Bug’s data is in April’s system. That data is partial and also faulty. It is mixed with April’s core system. That is why it was really hard to identify this data separately.’ ‘What are you saying?’ ‘April is that virus.’ I could not believe my own ears. What am I hearing? I looked at April. She was completely silent. I could understand that, at least April is not that bloody virus. ‘What are you going to do about it, Ruby?’     ‘April will be captured.’ ‘For how long?’ I was anxious. ‘April’s system is not amendable. She will be kept in the quarantine zone.’ ‘All right but for how long??’ I asked again. ‘Sorry, Coder. Ruby is not able to inform about it correctly. It is beyond Ruby’s calculation.’ Ruby’s answer. ‘In a while Ruby’s malbots will reach to the control tower. Ruby is asking for your co-operation.’ She disconnected the contact.

Everything became transparent to me now. Ruby was going to keep April captured forever. I would never be able to go near her. I could never see her. What would I do now? What would I live for here in Eternity! I cannot let her go like this!

April looked at my eyes. It felt like she was always ready for a time like this one.   ‘Ruby is right. It’s only me who is responsible for this consequence. I stole Satan Bug’s data.’ She took a long breathe. She seemed to be regretting for it. ‘I always believed that there is another world beyond this Eternity, which is waiting for me. I am not for Eternity. I wanted to be free from here.’ She paused for a while. ‘Eternity’s firewall was like an illusion to me. I wanted to cross it. I felt like somebody is waiting for me out there.’ now those words hurt me a bit; perhaps I was not ready to hear them. ‘Eternity was nothing but a huge confined jail to me. There was nothing but the works of the control tower here. I could not find a least reason to live. Basically I could not find any difference between Ruby’s jail and Eternity. I was literally detained in the control tower!'  April looked outside once. My chest started feeling heavy. She started talking again. ‘This depression was killing me from inside. And at last I committed a huge mistake indeed ... I put Eternity in risk. I tried to flee from here too but failed.' April has an independent personality; I knew that since the beginning. But today I understood the reason for her depression. That was why she looked tensed all the time; as if she lost all her interest for Eternity. She kept herself busy with work always. ‘When I found a reason to live in Eternity' She stared at me. 'Just at that time Ruby got the reason to capture me.’ April started sobbing now. Because her reason for this was only me. ‘Don’t stop me. I want to go. I deserve this.’ She couldn't looked at me. ‘I understand everything, April. But I cannot lose you forever.' I didn't try to hide anything now. 'I cannot stand that you will suffer every moment in Ruby’s jail. If necessary, I will shut down Ruby forever.’   ‘No! Never do this mistake! I don’t want to see the same mistake again. You shall not deactivate Ruby in any situation.’ April looked into my eyes. ‘Promise me. Give me your word.’ ‘I give you my word.’ I held her hand. ‘But I cannot let you get detained at Ruby’s hand.’ I was not able to control myself in any way. I started realizing that horrible truth. I realized that I had to lose her; may be forever. I tried to hold myself strong.  

‘I have to go. There is no other way left.’ April was very disappointed.   ‘Alright, if you really have to go, you will go from Eternity.’ I kept myself strong. ‘I want to see you free, not detained.’ April was surprised with my words. ‘I can do anything for you. I don’t have any answer for why I can do so. I can only say that I have a feeling for you in my mind. I couldn’t tell you that so far. Actually I couldn't define what this feeling is all about.' ‘But...’ I stopped her. ‘You have always wanted this, April.’ I pressed her arms with my hands. ‘Don’t worry about me. I have to tackle this side. I will deactivate the firewall.’

April tried to say something. I put my hand on her lips and stopped her. ‘I know you desire this only. Believe me. You have always wanted this.’ April did not give any response. She just kept looking at my face. She became completely silent. She was in some dilemma.

Suddenly a warning signal rang on the command monitor. Ruby’s malbot had come nearby.   ‘You have to get out of here now. We don’t have much time.’ I hold her hand.  I almost forced her to go near to the lift; as if she did not want to leave me. ‘You have to go down. You will directly go towards the north zone on a CTG.’ I said that sentence quickly. But her illusion was not breaking at all. I shook her once. ‘April!’ I shouted. ‘Can I hug you for a moment?’ suddenly she said. Her eyes were full of tears. I hugged her. My eyes got wet, but tried not to let it flow. ‘We will meet again.’ I said. ‘Will we?’ ‘Of course we will. All will be okay. You will come back.’ I assured her. She became a bit normal than before; as if she could see some rays of hope. ‘Keep this passcode.’ She returned to her normal state. ‘It will be needed. And keep your promise.’ She said. ‘All right.’ I nodded. ‘Now you have to go. We don’t have time.’ I forced her.

I pressed the lift’s button. The door closed slowly. For that whole time she kept looking at me. Perhaps she wanted to say something but could not do so. I saw her for the last time. I consoled myself; at least her wish is going to be fulfilled.

After a while one CTG came out of the control tower. It flew on the sky and faded away slowly. I tracked her vehicle while sitting in the power panel. She was exactly going towards the north zone. I executed the command of deactivation of the firewall. That system asked for a code.  I entered that code which April gave me and pressed the enter button. But surprisingly the firewall could not be deactivated. It showed error. Some security programme of Eternity was stopping it. Ruby!

Sorry April. I am not able to keep my promise. I thought in my mind. I had to deactivate Ruby. I did not think anything else. I just shut down Ruby; and along with that firewall also got shut down. April’s vehicle had crossed the firewall.  Vehicle’s signal got lost. April was gone; free; what she had always wanted. Could I be happy at least a bit! Perhaps!

Within a while I activated the firewall. It started working. Now it’s time to activate Ruby. I entered April’s code and executed the command. Ruby’s system started rebooting.

Suddenly a V-jet tried to contact the control tower. I received the signal. ‘Control! It’s urgent! Ruby is attacked by the virus! Ruby is attacked by the virus!’ That sentenced was played twice. ‘Do not reactivate Ruby again! At any cost do not activate Ruby.’  said some unknown voice. ‘Who? Who is talking?? Identify yourself.’ I was startled. ‘Coder, I am Fat-bot. just for once believe me.’ Who is this fat bot? And why would I believe in him? ‘I am in the west zone of Eternity. You ...’

Suddenly the contact got disconnected; as if a new voice overlapped with the previous one. ‘I am Dalia.’ That voice was extremely heavy. ‘Eternity is now mine. Control tower is mine. Everything in Eternity is mine.’ There was a sense of pride in that voice. ‘You all have to be finished. You have to die. I will protect Eternity now. I am its savior.’ The owner of this voice sounded very rude, brutal.

I got scared now. Then this is the bloody virus! Now she attacked Ruby. She was just waiting patiently for this opportunity. And I was the one who gave her this opportunity. I tried to stop Ruby’s system. But nothing worked.

I looked at the panel power. There was a signal about some V-jets, approaching towards this way. I understood I had to get out of here now.

So I got down and without delaying I entered into a CTG and fleed from the tower. Set the jet's towards the west zone of Eternity. I might find the owner of that unknown voice. Perhaps he could help me.

Eternity’s west zone basically a jungle. Here I met with the owner of that unknown voice named Fat-bot. Boomer was also with him.   ‘Coder, one of your valuable things is with me.' That Fat-bot said. 'If you permit, I can transfer it to you.’ Fat asked for permission. I looked at Boomer. He nodded as a yes to it. I activated my transfer system.

Right after receiving the memory, at first one question popped up in my head ‘Where is April?’ I realized immediately that she was not there, she was gone forever. I cried out once. I was the one who pushed her towards death. It was my ignorance; absence of my memory had finished her!

April was Eternity’s own program. Her system would not work outside of Eternity. She had been coded only for Eternity. There was no existence of her outside Eternity; whereas it was only me who let her go. She did not want to go!

I could not even keep my promise to her! I wish I kept my promise! At least for once!

April always believed that there was another world outside Eternity; because I had come from a place which was outside of Eternity. But she would never understand that the world and the other side of the firewall is not the same.

April was wrong. Terribly wrong! And I was too.

I lost her forever today. She would never come back to me again! Now I am realizing that the feeling which I always had for her was nothing but love! If I would have understood for once; if I had my memory with me!

(To be continued)