#ALL STEDE WANTED WAS A HAPPY LIFE

[laststandx3]

if Izzy had to die, like it was inevitable for the plot then I wish he died when he shot himself. then the only person who sees him is ed, and izzy literally turns into the symbol of blackebeard. Ed struggles to leave everything he was behind because backtracking after he caused izzy to kill himself makes him feel like he could have saved him. during the season izzy follows ed in every scene except the ones ed's with stede (so it's the perfect metaphor for ed to be at peace) and after a while finally when ed is alone. and ed mourns and then at the end we find out izzy was a ghost all along, and when ed lets go of izzy's ghost then he's ready to leave blackbeard behind.

it would still hurt and izzy's purpose in the story would still be about ed's arc, but at least izzy's death has consequences.

and in the meanwhile if you want to headcanon him as alive in the background bc ed's not very in touch with reality and in some scenes izzy interacts with people then there's the plot twist at the end that ed's guilt materialized as izzy (and you can put so many implications about their relationship here) but when ed finally lets go of his past then izzy can be his own person, have his own arc.

because we didn't even need so much izzy screen time this season (i loved it) but we didn't need izzy to have so many interactions with the crew and stede and everyone and have him grow. he could have stayed in the background slowly fitting in. and if they got renewd for a third season they could've explored his character more. and this season could've been really about ed/stede relationship instead of having them getting together -> breaking up -> getting together -> breaking up -> getting together... s2 focused on the main characters' realtionship and if they got renewd for s3 then background characters is fine. but like this, they tried to have everything and instead we got half-completed story-lines that feel hollow

[izzylucius]

can't stop thinking about the fact that there is no exclusive relationship in ofmd, many chars love several people and it's not depicted as negative. so. what if. since it looks like Stede and Izzy are going to get closer in this season. and since we've had both Izzy and Ed admit they love(d) each other in some (fucked up) way.

WHAT IF.

[ridleymocki]

(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)

.................................

What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."

What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."

What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."

.................................

What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"

What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."

What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."

.................................

What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."

What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."

What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."

.................................

What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."

What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."

What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."

.................................

This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:

failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,

misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,

increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.

Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.

Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).

With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.

And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.

Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

me on any random given day of the week

Izzy fan 1: i want izzy to get a boyfriend

Izzy fan 2: i want that boyfriend to be ed/stede/frenchie/roach/lucius/etc

Izzy fan 3: i dont want izzy to get with anyone. He just needs his new family and to find himself without being attached at the hip to someone else

Izzy fan 4: i want izzy to fuck

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ed is absolutely panicking in 2x7 bc he’s seeing stede having the time of his life being a famous pirate and he’s genuinely happy for stede but also he wants out of this life and he’s afraid stede will choose piracy over him and so he’s leaving first before stede can leave him again, all of which is bc deep down ed still thinks he’s unlovable and he’s scared to get hurt by stede again and he’s handling everything very badly

all that being said

the fact that ed has already decided that he can’t choose piracy for stede’s sake is so important to me

piracy was slowly killing ed long before stede entered the picture. and now that ed’s decided that he wants warmth and food and orgasms and he wants to live he’s not going to force himself to do a job that makes him fucking miserable. he still might not think he’s worth love and not worth choosing, but he’s at least moved past thinking he deserves to die. he’s past making himself so miserable that he wants to die. ed still has a lot of work to do but he’s making good progress and i’m proud of him.

[the-widow-olivia]

I am really happy that (if/when) we get our show back, it starts with a time jump. Here’s why:

1. It means Ed and Stede probably get some time together where nothing interesting happens. They don’t wake up the morning after 2x8 with the English at their doorstep — they get to actually try building a life together. This is really a best case scenario for two wanted pirates, and I love that for them.

2. I have grown very attached to a lot of the fan works around the imagined innkeepers era — we have some incredibly beautiful art and fic that depict the immediate days and weeks after the end of season 2, and I kind of like the idea that those stories could just stay canon-compliant as the story skips ahead to some new era in their lives.

3. What I want most from David and the writers and the actors is what happens after the happily ever after — all the challenges that come with a long-term relationship. And I want that very selfishly as a queer person, because we get a lot of coming out stories and getting together stories, but not as many stories where two people have to negotiate what it means to be together for the long haul. And I want that for them, and for us.

[sylvies-chen]

once again because I cannot stress this enough: I think it’s so important that ed and stede are together even while ed is still working through his own shit. I think there’s this common trope in mainstream media where damaged characters can’t be with the people they love until they fix themselves completely and become the best version of themselves on their own. and obviously people shouldn’t be in a relationship if they’re not in the right headspace for it but the message that it sends, this weird notion that you have to do all the heavy lifting by yourself to grow while completely isolated before you can even begin a relationship, is so stupid!! and so damaging!!

you don’t have to be whole or perfect or have your shit together in order to have love in your life or to be worthy of love. you can be in a relationship even if you’re not mentally at your best, because being with people you love is actually what helps you grow. having someone you love holding your hand and supporting you through the journey is what makes it easier. and that’s what stede does! because ed doesn’t want to wait until he’s worked on himself. he wants to be with stede now, but also being in a full speed relationship is a bit much so he asks to slow down the pace a little which is so perfect because it lets him be happy AND simultaneously have the space and time he needs to do a little introspection. it just shows how relationships aren’t just stagnant once they become committed, relationships can ebb and flow and shape themselves according to each person’s needs. and I’m just so happy and moved that we actually GET that with stede and ed???

[totallyboatless]

Man, I’m so happy for my fictional guy Stede Bonnet. He just experienced the absolute power of realizing he’s good at making someone orgasm. Can you imagine his happiness when he saw Ed truly enjoying himself?? Of course you can I know you all revel in sin.

Anyway my man Stede Bonnet has never been the cause of another person’s orgasm in his life and now he’s giving Edward Teach, the dreaded Blackbeard, the kind of orgasms that make him want to live.

What a guy. What a show.

[follows-the-bees]

Ever think about Ed's relationship with birds?

How excited he is to meet "a bird guy." Wanting to get one for his ship. Ed is absolutely fascinated with it, and the ship, all of Stede's trinkets and collections, how things run, but mostly: Stede himself. He has hope and whimsy.

Ed even asks "and Karl's the bird then?" While not said in the same context exactly, it rings of the second moonlight scene between Ed and Stede. Ed explains his fish metaphor, about how the fish needs to want to be caught, and Stede replies, "and you're the fish?"

Things change and turn for the bitter with Karl dies. It is the ultimate point where the crew turns on Jack, when Stede goes from letting Jack stay to kicking him off the ship. Stede's philosophy can come into play here too: "we don't banish people, that's not us." But when someone hurts the crew, kills Karl — a seabird, it's bad luck to kill a seabird — out they go.

That is the final straw for CJ. He has crossed a line, several in fact. The audience knows how important the seagull is to the first mate, and CJ essentially killed his friend, but he also crossed a line in a common seafaring belief/myth. Killing Karl also killed any commodore gained with the crew (though we know doing this achieves CJ's ultimate goal, separating Ed from the crew — and Stede.)

We end that episode looking down at Ed and Stede, feet touching, smiling at each other even as they are being arrested. A bird's eye view.

Side note: This bird's eye view of Ed and Stede is actually shown several times, including the previous two episodes. 1x6 when they return to the crew after the bathtub scene and 1x7 when Ed and Stede are sitting next to each other on the log as Lucius cooks the snake.

This bird metaphor continues to be heartbreaking in the first episode of season two. We again get a bird's eye view of Ed and Frenchie at the bow of the ship. (I half expected Frenchie to ask "and you're the bird" after Ed's speech.)

At this point, Ed is taking everything to keep going. The rhino horn, alcohol, the constant raids. It's a distraction, cause if he stops — if he lands — then it will all come tumbling down. He is the impossible bird, not landing but constantly flying, just barely staying alive.

There is also something to be said of the crew eating a seabird after the storm, after they think they have killed Ed. The guilt manifesting that way as Ed's impossible bird antics are a manifestation of him trying to keep up the Kraken persona.

Luckily, even through those dark times, when the bird metaphor turns dark, things take a turn due to Buttons. Buttons comes swinging in with his magical realism and first mate wisdom.

Just like how Ed was fascinated and full of hope the first time he met Buttons, he is filled with this same hope again the last time we see him. Buttons shows Ed that people can change. Birds no longer are an albatross around Ed's neck, they are salvation, hope, whimsy. They are magical. If Buttons can transform into a bird, why can't Stede or Ed change? Why can't they get a second chance of happiness, just like Buttons gets a second life as a bird.

Ed's journey with birds and how they serve a different meaning throughout the show, in a circular pattern of hope and whimsy, to death and despair, back to that hope perfectly encapsulates Ed's journey.

[crimson-and-clover-1717]

There’s so much to pull apart in this line.

Right now - Ed’s sick of the plan. ‘…we fuckin execute the plan, then we get another plan…’. Even Stede’s at it, ‘So what’s the plan?’ and Ed tells him, ‘The plan is go with the flow… see what happens…’. The curse of being history’s great tactician. Ed wants to live in the Right Now for a bit and who can blame him.

I just wanna do… I, me. Agency. Ed keeps being told who he is, by white society, by Izzy, by colonialist propaganda. Ed’s desperately seeking his internal locus of control.

what makes Ed… - The third person of it all stands out. Ed is still figuring who he is. The ‘I’ is now working for ‘Ed’, in the same way as ‘Do you work for Blackbeard?’ Ed still hasn’t mended a fragmented identity. Later he can’t own the song he dictates to Lucius; it’s about ‘someone else’. I think there’s still a caution here on the beach, a fear of being hurt (prescient), compared to the first person ‘I love you, I love you’ in Mermen. Telling Stede his feelings, Ed’s taking the biggest risk of his life, really.

happy - such a simple idea and so difficult to achieve. But then Ed has always aimed high. But he doesn’t want fame, power, notoriety, wealth. Had that: was all meaningless.

And then we’re told ‘happy’ in Ed’s dictionary simply reads ‘Stede’.

[lunar-system]

Stede Bonnet: The Sun.

Adapted from the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith tarot, Stede as the Sun rides through the tides, draped in gold and fine fabrics, radiating his own light. As the Sun he is open to the world like a child, full of optimism and about to make it everyone's problem.

Longer exploration of this card's symbolism under the cut.

My other tarot posts can be found here: Ed as the Star, Izzy as the Moon, Ed&Stede together, all three together.

The Sun: Happiness, clarity, moving forward towards a new life.

Rachel Pollack writes: The Sun brings clarity, simplicity. This is the moment when a new world, a new life, begins to take shape.

Whether it is him having left his marital home for the first or the second time, Stede as the Sun is ready. A new world has opened up, and he heads forward with no hesitation.

The Sun tells us to act boldly, with clarity and purpose, but also trust. Not the confidence of a warrior, but the openness of a child.

The qualities of the Sun make Stede shine as a captain. A clear and unique vision, a childlike trust, and purpose burning bright drives him and his crew forward no matter what.

The original Rider-Waite-Smith card shows a child riding a horse in a garden, signifying joy and freedom. In Stede's card the garden has transformed into an ocean, but it still remains like a playground to those who see it with childlike wonder.

Stede also has a lot of common with the Fool, the first card of the deck:

The Fool is alone, with nothing left but what you can carry in a bag on a stick. But the Fool is also freedom – freedom from rules, freedom from possessions, freedom from the narrow beliefs of what is important, even your own beliefs about yourself.

Freed from the shackles of society Stede is as free as the Fool, left with nothing but the clothes on his back and a heart full of love. He rides into the unknown with no bridle, with no means to guide himself, and yet he beliefs he will find his way. With the Sun in his heart he knows he can create the life he always wanted.

The Fool takes a risk, and in the Sun he is rewarded.

***

Sources

Image source: Pamela Colman Smith, 1909, republished as Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

Text source: Rachel Pollack, A Journey of 78 Steps, 2011, as cited in the booklet for instruction and guidance of Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany

[asneakyfox]

i've seen this from a couple different people but i really think it's a misread to think the character arc of gentlebeard in the djenks holiday special is actually that ed is just being lazy and doesn't want to do hard stuff and he needs to be managed. i mean, he could probably help stede out more, but that doesn't look to me like the core of the actual problem at all?

it seems to me like what's going on is that stede is determined to Not Run Away. "i'm not changing my life again." stede abandoned his first marriage, and then he abandoned ed, and then he abandoned his first marriage AGAIN, and then he abandoned piracy, and now! now he's supposed to have things figured out! now he's not going to be a guy who runs anymore! now is when he shows that he can commit to things! he's committed to his life with ed and part of his life with ed is being innkeepers so THE INN HAS TO SUCCEED AT ALL COSTS.

he cannot admit even inside his own mind that he just fucking hates innkeeping, because that would mean admitting failure. innkeeping was ed's dream! how could he be selfish enough to give up on ed's dream? he's gotten his brain into a state where the success of the inn equals the success of his relationship with ed, and he's gotten so obsessed with that he's not paying attention to their actual relationship. and at the same time he's miserable so it comes out as frustration with ed because it can't be that he doesn't like innkeeping and he's working so hard he can't do any more so surely it must be that ed's the one who needs to be more committed?

(plus what would he do instead? he doesn't want to go back to piracy because he doesn't want to die anymore, or see ed die, and what other options are there? if he admits he hates the inn then he'd have to admit he doesn't actually KNOW what he wants to do and that would be terrible because maybe the problem is him, maybe he'll always feel like this wherever he goes, maybe he just doesn't know how to be happy)

what he needs to say is "i want to be with you but i don't want to be innkeepers, can we figure out something else?" but he cannot say that, he can't even think that, and it comes out as "why aren't you helping with cakes more?" it's not about the cakes.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

What I need people to fundamentally understand about Stede is that Stede is not phased by Ed's list of crimes because Stede would in fact do all the things Ed is doing while he's suicidal and on rhino horn while perfectly happy with how everything is going in his life and stone cold sober. I'll die on this hill. he wants to be polite but he has the capacity for true cruelty and derangement just you wait.

[ineffably-human]

It's completely okay they had sex. There is nothing wrong with it and it isn't what temporarily broke them up.

They are both grown-ass men who've had sex with other people before (for various reasons and with various results). The seriousness of their relationship doesn't rise or fall on whether they've had sex because despite social mores, those two things aren't intrinsically linked. Sex is part of how people process complicated feelings all the time (see: funerals, near-death situations), and if both parties are clearly consenting then that isn't necessarily a bad thing or something that ruins a relationship.

Ed wakes up and gets rid of a tangible part of a persona he's wanted to shed for a long time. He makes his lover breakfast in bed. He's not rattled by Izzy coming in to tease them, if anything he's calmer than Stede is (which makes sense as the partner who has actually been with a man/had sex he enjoyed before).

They have a very happy date where Stede's new celebrity status doesn't bother him at all. Ed getting rid of the Blackbeard leathers 'felt good.' More gentle ribbing about sex with Stede gets a smile from Ed.

(They could have chosen to talk about Ned Lowe that morning, by the way, or at some other time that day, or literally whenever they both felt ready to do it. I don't think they did and I think they really should, but they by no means had to process every bit of it five whole seconds after it happened.)

There is no awkwardness, distance, or upset between Ed and Stede until it becomes clear just how much Stede is blowing up as a newly successful pirate, and just how much Ed is thinking about retiring. His conversation with Jackie highlights just how much those are incongruous things. That's when he freaks out and leaves. That's when he starts picking a fight - about how they're moving too fast, about how Stede isn't instantly supportive of his plan to drop everything and run off to a new career, about how fishermen and pirates are fundamentally different or whatever shit he says in the moment.

Because Stede is 100% correct about what Ed is doing - he's blowing it up. Ed is looking for the barest hint of conflict anywhere he can to turn into a bigger fight, and then using that as an excuse to leave before Stede can do it first. And Stede may think that's a fear of commitment or intimacy or something, since he doesn't have the full context, but it absolutely is a cowardly move.

I've seen posts saying Ed is clearly communicating his needs and I feel like I'm living on another planet. Did he ever say 'I'm scared we want fundamentally different lives and that means we can't be together'? Or 'I'm worried the life you want to embrace is the life I need to drop, because it's toxic for me'? Because until he says that, he hasn't told Stede anything.

And nothing about those very real fears has anything to do with sex.

[tvxqmylove]

Let's raise our glasses to Izzy and OFMD creators

I just have to get it off my chest, I understand Izzy's death came as a shock and very upsetting event for many, and a lot of people are going on and on about how he deserved a better fate and how he was not just some tool to serve someone else's story. Please try to calm down and see the bigger picture. 

It is now clear that he was always meant to die. It was foreshadowed in the first minute of the second season, a ridiculous, villain's death. Being the symbolic obstacle to Stede and Ed's happiness. 

Of course that was the wrong way for him to go. When he confessed to his crush Blackbeard he got shot by him, almost died, begged to be killed, and then he even tried to kill himself. Still didn't work. It wasn’t his time yet and that was the wrong way for him to go. When he learned that he was loved and cared for after all, just not in the way he expected, he changed. He became positive, he became forgiving. Then he stopped being miserable he started genuinely wishing for the happiness of others as well, instead of being bitter about it. His death might not have a point but his life did. He had the crew's and Ed's and even Stede's back, and they knew it. As David Jenkins stated, he played the role of a wise mentor that was passing along his life experiences to others. Then it was his time. Also, as foreshadowed, he symbolically took away Blackbeard, and opened a way for Stede and Ed as well.

A happy ending is not only walking off to sunset with a lover, taking up a new job or walking into a house of your family and petting your dog before you close the door. A good death, and a life well-lived is a happy ending. Leaving behind people that loved you is a happy ending. This was a happy ending for him. 

He lived the way he wanted, as a pirate, an infamous one that has received respect and recognition. Then he resolved the parts of his life that became problematic and toxic, he repaired the relationships

that was broken, he forgave the people he needed to forgive. After going through hell, he was basically a bubble of positivity, going around giving solid advices, encouraging people and partying. He was done. He gave the best damn speech of his life at a bar like giving his own eulogy and it was awesome. He died at the arms of the person he loved the most. 

Yes he could have had more, everyone that ever died could have had more. But he died gracefully and complete, surrounded by people he loved and cared about, knowing that they will be fine. That was his story. I am sad that he died, but he died beautifully, best you can hope for in a pirate life. And he will live on, in the hearts of the people he touched by his existence. 

Finally, never harass the creators. It is their hard work that gave us Izzy in the first place. Trust their creative process, and afterwards take it or leave it, do not harass them and try to put them in a box of your personal demands. If so, what kind of 3rd season can we even expect?

[ohmyglobwhatthefrickamievendoing]

Okay okay amidst all the gentlebeard heartbreak (which imo was needed so that they'll finally be pushed to openly communicate) can we pls consider:

how stede's face just melts into something soft and actually fond (!?) when he sees izzy in drag for the first time?????

he was so visibly happy for him??? sure they may have taken a long while to get there and they may still be bitchy to each other but at the end of the day they're friends now! And stede's actually happy to see his new weird angry little repressed friend open up and be noticeably a little shy and vulnerable and show a whole new side to himself and finally embrace the community and safe space stede has created on this ship (the community and safe space stede has always needed in his life and has now created and extended to others who need it - kills me that he thinks he ruins people when look! there's clear evidence that he's helping them be themselves as whoever they want to be)

anyway their newfound friendship means the world to me