#AND sometimes when i do talk back I am SOOOO GODDAMN AWKWARD GOOD GODS anyways now i'm like. less awkward. or maybe i've just accepted it n

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Firefighter Finn

Like a woman possessed, I had to get this story out. @free-rami​, my dear sweet friend, this is for you 💖

Warning: Smut, duh--stay away if you’re under 18

It was well after 7 pm when you pulled into your driveway, exhausted after meeting an endless stream of parents, pulled along by their excited children who wanted them to meet their favorite teacher during Back-To-School night.

Tired as you were, your face erupted in a grin when you walked into the house and were greeted by the smell of garlic bread and by a mess of dishes in the sink and on the counter from Finn’s excursion in the kitchen.

“Hey babe,” Finn said, looking up from the table where he was busy filling out some kind of form. “How was it?”

“Not bad,” you answered, scooping up pasta and putting it on the plate Finn had left out for you beside the stove. “Most of the parents were nice, but of course some of them wanted to hold personal conferences about their child’s progress, which is super awkward when there are fifteen other parents milling around the room all waiting to meet you.”

“Parents are the worst,” Finn answered in a distant echo of what you often said.

After you added sauce and grabbed a piece of garlic bread, you went to sit at the table with your too-cute, too-sweet boyfriend, and too-distracted boyfriend.

Twirling a forkful of spaghetti, you asked, “What are you working on?”

Finn put his pen down and looked up from the paper. He looked sort of nervous, which made you furrow your brows with concern.

“You know how I feel about you teaching. It’s so awesome that you see it not just as a job but as a way to give something back. Do something good for the community.”

“You want to be a teacher?” you asked, your fork poised as you turned your head to the side in confusion.

“God no. You’re a saint, babe. I couldn’t do what you do. But, well. I was thinking there was something I could do.”

“Yeah?”

“After Tobey’s car got wiped with that tow truck when they tried to take him out of the race, I kinda started thinking about the other side of racing or even just driving. It’s dangerous and people crash all the time.”

I listened, finally taking a bite of my pasta but still unsure where Finn was going with this.

“Soooo, I’m filling out an application to join the Mount Kisco fire department,” Finn stated, his eyes lowering back to the form and then darting back to your face, waiting for your reaction.

You put your fork down and wiped your mouth on your napkin, your face breaking out into a grin. At your smile, Finn lit up, his own face splitting into that grin that still made your stomach do a flip.

“Do you think it’s a good idea? I mean, do you think I could do it?” he asked.

“Of course I think you can do it,” you answered just as excitedly as he had asked. “And I can’t tell you how proud I am of you for wanting to do something for the community. You know the Mount Kisco VFD does the fire and safety program for our students? They seem like a great group of guys.”

“Tobey’s cousin, Mac, volunteers there, so I talked to him about it. He said they’re always looking for new members.”

You got up and wrapped your arms around Finn’s neck and kissed his temple.

“I love you, babe. You’re always surprising me in the best ways.”

“Love you, too,” Finn said, looking up at you with bright eyes, his face still shining with happiness.

* * * * *

“How was it?” you asked from the sofa as Finn came in the door after his first Monday night meeting at the firehall.

“It was great! The guys are cool and Mac made it a point to show me around. I even got fitted for my gear tonight.”

Your eyebrow shot up. In all of your happiness that Finn was getting another interest other than cars, you had completely forgotten he would be donning a firefighter’s uniform. The pants. The boots. The helmet. Goddamn, he would look so hot—

“Hmm? What was that?” you asked, having completely missed what he was saying.

“It’s an app—on your phone. So anytime there’s a call, it comes right through and you can see all the details.”

“That’s cool, babe. Way better than a pager or something bulky you’d have to wear around.”

“Is it wrong I can’t wait for a call? I mean, I don’t want anything bad to happen. I’m just excited to go. And you know what?”

“What?”

“They need drivers. Granted, it’s not a mustang, but how cool would it be to drive a firetruck? I just have to take an EVOC class and boom—I can drive a truck.”

“And here I thought you were excited about something other than cars. You’re just finding bigger vehicles to drive,” you said with a laugh.

“Even bigger than the Beast,” Finn said with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

You laughed and leaned into Finn’s side, settling into his familiar warmth as you snuggled up on the couch. As the two of you relaxed and watched some TV, your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the thought of Finn in his gear, sweaty and dirty from putting out a fire, those too-big pants with their little suspenders, and a helmet covering his curly hair.

You gripped his thigh and smiled to yourself, thinking that this was turning out to be the best idea Finn ever had.

* * * * *

Finn had been a member of the fire department for a few months when he sent you an excited message while you were at school to tell you he was finally headed to fight his first fire. He had been so attentive at his trainings and he hadn’t missed a single Monday night meeting since he joined; while you were a little worried, you knew he was well-prepared, and you knew he was in good hands.  

Your day went by in its typical blur of balancing too many tasks and answering too many questions too many times, so that you had almost forgotten Finn had texted you about his first fire. As it turned out, he had ridden to the station with Mac and was wondering if you could pick him up on your way home so Mac didn’t have to drive in the opposite direction of his own house.  

You told him no problem and asked the how call went.

F: Garage fire—ironic, huh? lol

You chuckled and shook your head while gathering up your things.

When you pulled into the fire station, the trucks were in the parking lot being washed and the hoses were laid out getting drained before they got rolled back up. Finn was busy straightening out one of the hoses and your mouth fell open at the sight of him.

His hair was mussed, curls sticking out and up with some sticking to his sweaty forehead. He had discarded his bulky fire coat, but his pants and boots were still on, his pants held up by red suspenders.

You could see the muscles shifting underneath his tight t-shirt as he picked up one of the rollers to begin squeezing out the hoses. His biceps flexed as he clamped down the roller, and you could see a vein or two standing out on his forearm when he began to walk along the hose.

Fuck me, you thought.

You took a deep breath and walked closer to Finn, some of the other guys checking you out as you walked by. As soon as Finn noticed you, he greeted you with that megawatt smile, and you noticed that his forehead and his cheeks were smudged with soot.

“Looks like you saw some action,” you said trying to keep your voice steady.

“It was great—I mean not great, like the people’s garage burnt down, but you really shouldn’t leave anything plugged in, especially in a garage. Speaking of unplugging things, did you remember to unplug the microwave? Three housefires started last year from microwaves.”

Finn didn’t even give you a chance to reply before he continued.

“Anyway, we masked up in the truck, and when we got there we could see smoke coming from the building, so after we got the hose off the truck, we crawled in and looked for the fire and it was coming from the back wall so my partner opened up the nozzle, I was in the middle on the hose, and—

Finn stopped as an older man approached.

“Hey—Chuckie, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Chuckie is one of the Assistant Chiefs.”

“Nice to meet you,” you said, giving him a small wave and a smile

Chuckie returned your smile and said, “Well, Finny here didn’t lie. You’re clearly much too good for the likes of him.”

You shook your head in disagreement, but Chuckie only laughed and turned to bark out an order to another fireman.

“I’ve just gotta finish rolling this hose, then I’ll be ready to go,” Finn said.

“Take your time—I’m enjoying the show,” you said with a wink, which earned you another one of those smiles from your boyfriend.

You watched as Finn worked, occasionally chatting with some of the guys as they introduced themselves. Eventually, Finn came out of the firehouse dressed in his usual clothes.

“Can’t wait to shower,” he said as he sat down in the passenger seat.

“You keep your gear at the fire station?” you casually asked as you put the car in gear.

“Most of the guys do, yeah. Unless they’re officers or older members. Some of them keep their gear on them and drive right to the call.”

“So, could you, uh, bring it home sometime?”

You could feel Finn’s eyes on you and you knew you were blushing.

“What a bad girl,” Finn said, his voice low and sexy. “You wanna play rescue?”

You laughed and snuck a glance at him before returning your eyes to the road.

“Pardon me, but who still asks me to wear that pirate wench costume from Halloween?”

“Babe! I am not complaining! It’s just that you don’t suggest things often so I’m kinda…surprised at this particular request.”

“All I’m doing is innocently asking a question. How you interpret that question is entirely on you.”

“Uh, huh,” Finn said, and you could hear the cockiness in his voice without even looking over to see his smirk.  

* * * * *

Who the fuck is knocking on the door at midnight? you thought as you checked your phone. You rolled over and felt for Finn, but he wasn’t in bed. Being that he was the lighter sleeper out of the two of you, you figured he was on his way to answer the door.

Except that the knocking continued.

You groaned as you got up, not bothering to add pants. If it was one of the idiots from the garage, they could deal with you in your t-shirt and underwear since it was so goddamn late. You wondered what they could possibly want as you pulled back the curtain of the little window that framed your front door.  

But it wasn’t anyone from the garage.

It was Finn—in his firefighter gear.

Fuck me, you thought as a wave of desire shot through you, waking you up better than any alarm clock ever had.

You swallowed audibly before opening the door slowly, and Finn pushed his way in.

“There’s been a report of a smell of smoke coming from inside this residence, Miss.”

“Uhhh,” you said as your eyes roved over his fully uniformed body, practically dying at the site of him in his helmet.

“So, there’s no danger, Miss? You do know you could get in trouble for falsely calling for the fire service?”

“Uhhh,” you said again, struggling to slip into this role because your boyfriend looked like a fucking calendar model come to life in your entryway.

“Miss?”

“Uh, trouble, no—no, I don’t want any trouble.”

“You don’t want any trouble?” Finn said slowly, his face still serious.

“No, I don’t.”

“Then I guess we’ll need to work something out,” Finn said, biting his lip and opening his fire coat.

Your breathing was shallow. Your chest and your cheeks were flushed, and your hands were balled into tiny, tight fists.

“Babe—are you okay?” Finn said breaking his role and looking genuinely concerned.

“You’re just so fucking hot, Finn. I can’t—Oh god. I can barely function.”

Finn fought hard not to laugh at the state you had worked yourself into, but damned if he wasn’t already half-hard knowing how excited you were just at seeing him in his gear.

You watched as his face shifted back to serious and he resumed his role.

“You look a little feint, Miss. I should probably get you back to bed.”

You nodded, and Finn shot forward to scoop you up, bridal style.

“Which way to the bedroom?” he breathed in that sexy voice of his.

“Up the stairs. To the left,” you said with a shaky voice.

“You mean the right,” Finn whispered, his eyes dancing with mirth.

“Fuck. Yeah. To the right.”

You watched him, the muscles in his neck straining as he carried you, his jaw set in a determined line not to break character.

Once he got to your room, he laid you gently on the bed, and as he had carried you up the stairs, you had willed yourself to pull it the fuck together, so when Finn stepped back and asked if you needed anything else, you sat up a little against the headboard and let your knees fall open.

“I’d really like to thank you for your time,” you said in a surprisingly steady voice.  

Finn’s eyes lost their laughter as they darkened with desire. He reached up and took his helmet off, tossing it on the floor as he ran a hand through his hair. His coat followed next and he was left in the same state as when you first saw him—his black undershirt a perfect background for his bright red suspenders that held up his firemen’s pants.

Finn kicked off his boots before crawling onto the bed and between your legs, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. You wrapped your legs around those big, stiff pants and moaned, your mind filling with the vision of Finn out there in the parking lot, rolling up a hose, sweaty and dirty.

The kiss was filthy and left you both panting for breath, your body in complete control now, wanting nothing more than to fuck your fireman.

“I want you,” you breathed, your hands on Finn’s face, scratching at the little bit of stubble that lined his jaw.

He pressed into you, kissing you again, but this time he soon left your lips in favor of kissing down your neck, sucking tiny little spots of skin into his mouth, not enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to make your hips buck into his. As he was kissing your neck, you slid your hands over and under his suspenders, enjoying the feel of the material on your fingertips before pushing them off of his shoulders.

Finn was working his way further down your body, your t-shirt now pushed up over your bare breasts. You reached down and pulled it off, flinging it to the other side of the room.

Finn looked up, his lips wet, his mouth just a little open as his eyes ran over your naked torso.

He crawled back off the bed and moved around to stand at the side. He reached over and pulled your legs so you were angled over the edge of the bed now. You straightened out and he didn’t hesitate before pulling off your already soaked underwear. He tossed them behind him and got on his knees.

You moaned as Finn positioned your legs over his shoulders and lowered his mouth to your wet sex. He slowly licked over your outer lips, circling and teasing before he moved to your entrance, your wetness coating his tongue and making him moan, the vibrations sending a shiver through your body.

“So fucking wet,” he said as he moved his tongue up to flick across your clit.

“Oh my god, Finn—I’m gonna—FUCK!”

You came hard on his tongue with a look on your face that showed how shocked you were at coming so quickly, which made Finn chuckle as he stood and wiped his mouth with his hand.

He finally shucked off his t-shirt but paused with his hands on the button of his firemen’s pants.  

“You want me to leave these on?”

A breathy, gargle of a moan was the only answer you were able to give him as he unbuttoned the pants…which then promptly fell to the floor.

“Shit,” he said, looking at his feet.

“Leave them,” you said through a laugh at the look on his face. “I really just need your cock right now.”

Finn groaned as he stepped out of his pants and then pulled his underwear off, his cock hard and ready to give you exactly what you asked for.  

Finn pulled you forward and lined up with your entrance, the bed the perfect height for him to fuck you while he stood.

He hooked his arms under your knees and pulled you onto his cock, slowly, his eyes slipping shut as the heat of you surrounded him.

You both groaned, and you stretched up above your head to clutch at the sheets as Finn began to fuck you in earnest. He reached for your ankles, spreading your legs into a perfect V so he would watch himself fuck you.

You looked up at him, his arms outstretched like fucking Jesus on the cross but with your ankles in each hand, his face a perfect mess of blissed out pleasure, and you thought you could come from that image for the rest of your life.

Finn thrust his hips into again and again until you felt him hitting that sweet spot inside, and you felt that familiar build of pressure around your core, and this time you knew your orgasm was coming, tearing through your body like an electric shock of pleasure.

You knew the instant your walls contracted around Finn that he was done, his hips stuttering as he came inside of you, breathing out your name over and over until he had pumped every last bit of cum into your swollen pussy.

Finn collapsed next to you, his muscular chest rising and falling, highlighted by a slight sheen of sweat as he caught his breath.

You appeared over him, peppering soft kisses along his jaw, and when you got to his ear you whispered, “Thank you.”

Finn opened his eyes and turned to look at you, his grin quickly turning to a laugh as he reached out and swiped at your nose.

“You’ve got soot on your face.”

“I wondered what that smell was, but I was way too distracted to ask.”

“Firefighting is dirty work.”

“Soot. Grease. Welcome to my life. But you know what?”

“What?”

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” you said, your words pulling that gorgeous smile from Finn as he leaned over to kiss you, his hand cupping your face.

[girlbookwrm]

It’s here! At last!  THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin​ and @pegasuschick​ here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages. 

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission. 

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back. 

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c. 

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk. 

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay. 

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY? 

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

[the-rainbow-shaka-brah]

MORE HELLA PRICEFIELD FLUFF FOR YOUR PRICEFIELD HEART

Spoons

As Max and I walk into the pitch black hallway of my pitch black house, I note my friend slow lethargic movements. Poor girl must be wiped, emotionally and physically. I mean, from what I could glean from her brief explanation as to how she got onto the roof as quick as she did, Max had somehow spammed her powers to the point where she actually broke time. Her bloodshot eyes were proof enough that she was exhausted. I close the door noiselessly and motion for her to follow me upstairs to my room, “I’ll tell Joyce you’re here in the morning,” I whisper. She nods absently and allows me to take hold of her hand, leading her the rest of the way up the stairs. My room is dark and cold, probably because it was built above the garage and I only have one window. That has got to be a health/safety risk, I think to myself, ushering Max inside. She immediately has her arms around herself, trying to hold in what little warmth her body still has. The wet hair and clothes don’t help either. “I think I’ve got a towel around here some,” I say softly gesturing to somewhere around the room as I fumble for the light switch. Max hums a reply to herself as she sets her tote bag aside as sheds her hoodie, throwing it on my desk chair. She hasn’t said much since our pool dare thing, which makes me worry I took things way too far. ‘Well, no shit you took things too far!’ I yell at myself, turning back to find Max sitting on the edge of my bed, wobbling as she struggles to keep herself awake. “Towels! Right…” I say loudly, unintentionally startling her. Max yawns and stretches out, “*Yawn* Do you have any clothes I can borrow, Chlo?”. “Chlo? Damn, haven’t heard that one in years. Pilfer through my drawers if you want… can’t guarantee anything will fit you,” I say, heading off to the bathroom to grab a clean towel. It takes me a bit, but I find my old pirate towel hidden under all the others. Mom hates this damn dirty thing, but she lets me keep it because it reminds me of the only part of my childhood worth remembering. I sigh and breath into the worn green cloth as if trying to… I don’t know… get back a bit of that happiness. I shake my head, trying get those weird nostalgic thoughts out of my mind. I head back into the room without knocking since well...it’s my room and find Max barely taking off her shirt. I pause at the door, feeling like I’m intruding duh, that’s because you are! But Max doesn’t seem to mind my being there. Why is she so fucking chill with undressing in front of me… this is twice in one day. Maybe she’s comfortable around me… she knows I won’t make fun or judge her… she knows and trusts me. I quietly slip inside the room, purposely avoiding making any eye contact with my friend. Pfft, friend… can friends kiss each other like that and remain FRIENDS? No… I don’t think so. “You can look now,” Max says quietly, flopping back down on the bed. Still a little unsure, I turn my head around really fast as see that yes… she is indeed fully clothed except… the clothes are two times too big and… she looks adorable. I let out a weird breath and turn around, still keeping my eyes away from Max. “Is… is something *yawn* wrong… you’re acting funny,” she mutters, settling herself on the right side of the bed… my side of the bed. I allow myself to look at her for a second, then look away. Nope… every time I look at you… I… I don’t know, you make me feel all weird inside… a good weird. I clear my throat awkwardly, “Uh… sorry… I’m just tired. Anyways, here’s the towel… I’ma go change”.I don’t wait for a reaction or a reply because I hand Max the towel and grab the clothes she had apparently set aside for me, heading straight for the bathroom. Once there I lock and lean up against the door, letting myself slide down to the floor. Ahggg!!! What the hell was that? What are you doing to me Max? I haven’t felt this way since… since…. Rachael. “Oh god…” I mutter, “No...no no nonononono. I can’t be… falling in love with her,”. It’s one thing to have a petty crush and just be flirtatious with each other but LOVE? I don’t…. I can’t….shit. I can’t stop what the heart wants… and I want Max… I’ve wanted Max since before I even met Rachael. I shake my head aggressively and stand up, changing like I’m supposed to be doing. God, Max must think I’m an idiot acting the way I am… or she gets it… things are weird… there’s… some kind of tension between us and she’s just trying to… BE there for me. Once I change I enter my room again, this time with a light knock, “Yo, Maxie… I’m coming in,”. … no reply. “Max?”. Still no reply. I open the door to find her out cold… huh, poor thing, the towel is still wrapped around her head. She musta passed out mid-dry. I smile inwardly and gather up the towel, watching as her brunette hair puff up with static. “God, you’re adorable,” I say, lying down beside her. I just lay there for awake for the next few hours, doing nothing except feeling extremely awkward. Come on, I’ve slept next to Max loads of times… so, why does this time feel so...so… different. I forgot how much she shifts around in her sleep, and how she usually cuddles up with a pillow. But, finding none, she uses the next best thing… me. Max simply cuddles up beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. I stiffen up, not really used to this physical… affection? Closeness? Rachael never used to… no, stop that. Why do I keep comparing Max to Rachael? That’s soooo not cool. They’re two completely different, unique and beautiful people. I should treat them like so… and not just… wish one was the other. Something snaps me out of my thoughts, the ever so slight sensation of Max’s body tensing up. I look down at her with concern. “Kate….n-no… please, I can’t...” she whispers mournfully. Shit, I figured something like this might happen. Max is infamous for keeping her feeling and emotions pent up inside and she hasn’t really talked to me about what happened or what she saw… not that I’ve made an effort to ask her either. “Psst, Max, hey. It’s okay… It’s… it’s a dream,” I whisper back, realize that I can’t say it’s just a dream because it’s not. Max witnessed Kate kill herself… first hand and with no second chance to prevent it. My stomach clenches at my next thought, Max wasted her rewind trying to impress me… trying to save me from my own misfortune. What if… what is she could have saved Kate… and the only reason Max’s powers failed… is because of me? Max doesn't respond to my whispers, she just continues to squirm around, her hand gripping my shirt slightly, ”Chloe….”. Wait… now she’s whispering about me? I guess that makes sense… she’s watched me die too. God, poor thing has seen so much and she doesn’t even know what to make of it… she doesn't have anyone to confide in. Well, she has me, but… I think with keeping me alive, finding Rachael, trying to find out what the fuck is going on in this town and figuring out how we’re going to stop this goddamn tornado… she hasn’t had the time… and no pun intended. “Chloe?” Max whispers again, this time sounding like she’s actually talking to me. I look down at her again, huh… it too dark to tell if her eyes are open. “Uh, yeah… I’m here,” I say, feeling like I’m talking to the air. “Can you...hold me?”. Yup, definitely asleep, no way in hell Max would ask me that in real life or… if she were awake. Suddenly she tugs at my shirt a little, “Come on, Chloe… I’m like...freaking out here,”. “Are you awake or like… talking in your sleep, sorry I can’t tell,” I say, shifting a little so I can face her. “I’m *yawn* somewhat awake,” she replies softly. “What happened, dreams kicking your ass?” I ask. No reply. “That was kinda insensitive… huh?”. I can feel her nod, “Yeah… just a bit”. “Sorry. So uh, you want me to… hold you?”. “I…  i-it was a dumb question. I shouldn’t have-”. “No no, I’m not saying I won’t do it… I just… I’ve never really held anyone before,”. “You did it when we were kids,” Max says. “Well, I’ve kinda been out of practice for five years so…”. “I- I’m still so-”. I abruptly place my hand over Max’s whole face, silencing her, “Can we please, please please not get into this right now? We didn’t talk for five years, we were upset at each other, but now we’re together again and we’re back in action… can’t we just… focus on that?” I ask, removing my hand from her face or… face area, come on it’s dark. She sighs, “I guess. *yawn* think you could just… like, put your arm around me or…”. “I’ll hold you if that’s what you want,” I say, with a smile I hope she can see. “Hmm, *yawn* thanks, Chlobear,” Max says as she rolls over and curls up in in the curve of my body. So she wants me to hold her from behind… huh, she wants you to spoon her you idiot!! What, no… no way. I am not spooning my best friend. We went over this… we’re not just friends! Now’s your chance!!! I sigh and wrap my arms around her loosely, getting reacquainted to having someone so physically close to me when it’s not well… ya know… intimate. Oh, god… do not think about this now, not with Max right here. Sometimes I wish I could just turn my brain off don’t we all. Anyways, I let myself relax a bit, actually enjoying the feeling of simply holding someone in my arms. She scoots closer, and I pull her closer until we are, in technical terms spooning. “Smooth, Caulfield. Real smooth,” I whisper into the back of her head, causing her to shiver ever so slightly. She giggles lightly, “I have *yawn* no idea what you’re talking about,”. “Sure you don’t. Go ahead and go back to sleep… I’ll be here if you need me”. “Okay,” Max whispers back, moving my arms so they’re placed around her waist. I nod and plant a kiss on her shoulder, making her shudder again, “Forever?”. “Forever,”.