#Again TW for discussion/mentions of CSA/SA

[chuchayucca]

Discussions of implied fictional CSA & SA

I recently been wondering if there’s a chance Richard thinks Roy’s aggressive and distant behavior is normal and not a sign of CSA because he acted similarly to Roy when he was younger

Reasonings in the tags

[stranger-rants]

TW: Discussions of (C)SA / Rape / Incest (Mention)

The irony is that people saying Billy would be a sexual predator or rapist are the same people who bring up Billy setting a (dead) cat on fire in Runaway Max to show that he’s a “psychopath” (their words). How are these two related? Well, when I have to do my child abuse identification training every year for my job, fire-setting is unfortunately a common indication that a child has been sexually abused that we have to be aware of. So there’s that. That in and of itself doesn’t confirm whether or not that happened to Billy, especially given that Runaway Max isn’t exactly canon. However, there are other canon indicators that people misattribute to Billy being a womanizer.

There’s the fact that Billy is very knowledgeable about sex despite only being 17/18. Of course, other characters his age have sex but it’s in the awkward but developmentally appropriate phase of discovering sex and sexuality. Billy is aware of what to say or do to get attention from adults who want to have sex with him. He knows how to dress. He knows where to go. He knows how to suggest that he is sexually available. Teenagers are not supposed to know how to do that. Not only that, they’re not supposed to act on that knowledge. It’s not their fault if they are abused as a result of that behavior, but that behavior often indicates they have been abused.

Then there’s just that fact that the way that Billy copes with everything is a red flag. Billy is anxious, aggressive, and highly reactive in stressful situations. He drinks, smokes, and drives recklessly on a regular basis. He canonically dissociates. When he’s possessed, he already has the coping skills necessary to withstand at least some of the pain and anguish from that situation. No other teenager in this show acts like he does, not even Max. None of the main characters fit the criteria for having survived sexual abuse quite like Billy does, and I have known, personally, male victims of CSA who look and act very similarly to Billy.

If you don’t think that it’s highly likely for him to be a (C)SA survivor, that’s fine. It’s not something I enjoy thinking about. It’s just a strong possibility given his behavior. Again, not all survivors are sweet and non-threatening. That said, to position Billy as any kind of rapist or sexual predator (especially accusing him of incest) when there is absolutely no evidence or indication to that is really fucked up. This is especially given the graphic assault on his body and mind by The Mindflayer. You have to absolutely not give a single shit about survivors if you’re going to position Billy as a willing participant in the abuse of his mind or body like that no matter what.

This is not something we can agree to disagree on. If you in any way suggest that Billy wanted it, you are the problem.

[many-but-one]

This is a poem written by Dorian nearly couple years ago now. He never ended up posting it because he intended to post the audio with it but we never finished captioning the audio. Going through our drafts, we found it. Since we’re on a poetry sharing kick tonight, I’ll post it now. This poem should probably be updated eventually since Dori knows more now, but we will keep it as-is for now.

Written by Dori:

I want to note that this poem is HEAVILY inspired by a slam poem by Patrick Roche. He came up with the idea of moving backwards in the timeline, which I felt was just...genius. Especially in the realm of DID, where if you know at the first age you have DID, you know it will only get progressively worse. And in my case, things do get worse, but then you get to see the real things that were believed back then. I discussed this poem with several parts in our system, not only asking for their help, but also asking if it was okay for me to share.

Lastly, here are the trigger warnings. This poem is HEAVY. It is graphic, it alludes and blatantly states some very disturbing things. I am tired of being silent.

TW: Alcohol, CSA, adulthood/teen SA, intense religious imagery, blasphemy, unalive attempt, drugs/pills, medical/hospital/doctors, self harm, domestic violence, parents, violence in general, car crashes, AFAB menstruation, neglect, death of a family member, a lot of cursing, BIG mentions of grooming from the POV of the child, brief mentions of abortions.

Haha. The gods really put every single TW they could think of in my life huh. Realizing that my entire life is essentially a trigger warning is 😅 Oof.

Anyway, here is the poem. Read with caution.

24 years and counting.

24, going on 25. I wake up each morning not knowing who I am and this is normal now. I have realized that this will be my normal forever, or at least until I process the layers upon layers of trauma, hidden underneath layers and layers of amnesia that I slowly peel back like onion skins, each layer getting more and more terrifying, more and more worrisome. The deeper I dig into this hole of unknown the harder my heart beats, and I realize my heart beats like a war drum. I have always been at war, with myself, with this body of mine. Of ours. 

Mid 24, I come to terms with a diagnosis called DID. I start to learn more about the different versions of myself, where they all intersect, where it melds together and where it stands apart. I think I know everything but 24 going on 25 version of me laughs at how naive I am. Perhaps 25 year old me will laugh at 24 going on 25 me. Maybe I’ll realize the depths of the hell I crawled out of called childhood was worse than I know even now. I don’t look forward to it. 

Early 24, I got married this year, my wife married three of me, three of me love her dearly. Things feel right and good again, I feel like I am on a happy path. My brain makes about as much sense at it always has, but at least I somewhat understand the pieces of the puzzle I’ve been given. Or at least, so I thought. 

23, this year is a blur, the only thing that stands out is that I quit my job I’ve had for five years. I loved that job. I quit that job because one of my past abusers walked in with no warning, and the sirens in my head went off like there was a nuclear bomb incoming. I still tell myself he didn’t see me but I know I’m lying to myself. I quit that very day and I realized that he still has control over me to this very day, 17 years after the trauma ended.

22, Two months before I am set to graduate college with my degree I get the diagnosis that changes my life. Not that my life is any different afterwards, at least not yet, so I try to continue forward regardless. How badly I wish to return to this moment and take my own face in my hands and look myself deep in the eyes and tell the 22 year old me that they have a storm coming. I think I already know, despite not really knowing, because I find myself getting drunk after work almost every night. I hide the bottles from my fiancée. I don’t want her to think I am my father.

21, I am old enough to drink! I barely drink. Every time I drink and it tastes too much like alcohol I am reminded of my father’s breath. I...don't know why. I stick to fruity drinks that taste good so that I can stop feeling things. Maybe I really am my father’s daughter. 

20, I finally start making friends in college, which is strange. Some people talk to me and I’ve never met them before, but they act like we’ve been friends since forever. Sometimes I attend lectures and I don’t remember what they are about. Sometimes I ask questions and I can hear my voice speaking and feel my mouth moving and I don’t know what I am saying. This is normal. The competent version of me sometimes does stuff when I get overwhelmed, that’s normal. That’s always happened! Everyone does that, right?

19, I wake up on the floor of my mother’s bathroom one afternoon, I smell my own stench I have been rotting in, I peek my eyes open and see pill bottles all around me, but no pills to be seen. The burn of bile on my throat and in my mouth makes me gag. I look in the toilet and see the pills. I won’t remember this moment until I am 24. I will learn it was not me that tried to kill themselves. I will also learn it was not me that saved me.

18, I have my first of many mental hospital stays. The doctors watch me stare at the other kids in the ward, nearly catatonic. They said they’d never seen a patient that never smiled. “Most kids get out of here within a couple of days!” They assured my mother and I. Two weeks later and I am still rotting on the plastic bedsheets. I lie and tell them I’m okay but I am not okay, I just want to live a life that involves shoelaces and doesn’t have nurses yelling at me to brush my teeth. I go back to school like nothing happened and almost all of my friends are gone. They never really cared.

18, pre-mental hospital, I am dating a boy that I don’t love. I am dating him because that’s what girls do even though I am not a girl. He is my best friend and it just seemed right. I really only dated him because sometimes I felt like I really loved him, but most of the time his lips on mine and his hands on my waist felt wrong. Something in my head feels like it’s buzzing like a beehive every time I go to his apartment. It’s almost like a spidey sense, except I ignore it and when I find myself back home, I don’t remember anything that happened at his house, nor how I ended up back home. I don’t think about it too hard. 

17, My dad punched a wall again. He screamed until I cried again. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t do this anymore. I hurt myself with sharp objects because it feels like that’s what I’m supposed to do. I never feel the pain, I only ever clean up the mess. I try to make myself as ugly as possible. To me(?) it makes sense. Obviously, if I am hideous, people will leave me alone. They won’t hurt me anymore, right? ...right? 

17, suddenly an angry version of myself appears and I realize I am SICK and TIRED of mistreatment. I fight back, I fight back with teeth and claws and words that are even sharper than both of those combined. I don’t remember these times very well. I certainly don’t remember the time this angry version of me YANKED the largest knife out of the butcher block and threatened the very man who ruined my life with it. I LOVE this version of myself. She’s intensity, with veins full of gasoline, ready and waiting for someone to ignite her. She bares her teeth in a grin and laughs, she says “I dare you, set me aflame, I will burn you with me.” Thanks, Alice. 

16, I nearly crash my car while I’m zoned out. Haha! I always zone out. Sometimes I zone out so hard that I forget big chunks of time, but everyone does that! 

15, my friend shows me his self harm scars and is trying to gain sympathy but I have none to give. I wonder if maybe doing the same will help me learn to have sympathy. Thus starts an addiction to pain that lasts for nearly a decade. 

14, I don’t remember this year very well but someone does. 

13, I started my period and I was told that I’m just a late bloomer. Everyone always said I was a late bloomer since forever. I didn’t hit my growth spurt until I was 14 either, and I didn’t stop wetting the bed until I was 9. Weird, but I didn’t put that much thought into it.

12, I wrote a detailed story that I no longer have a single copy of that talks about the structure of my inner world. Traces of the DID that I can actually remember. I don’t remember most of this year because I wasn’t the one who lived it.

11, My dad is neglecting me to party with his girlfriend. The one who lives some of next year lives this year too. Too much going on for fragile little me, someone stronger has to deal with this mess. She does. 

10, My brother died this year and this is the exact moment I stopped caring about God. Everything he ever gave to me he took away. I won’t understand the heaviness of such a statement for another decade and a half. This is when my depression started and when I lost my faith in humanity. I thought I gained it back for a while but I never did. I also stopped crying. Nobody heard me anyway. Someone in my head did it for me.

9, I don’t remember this year and I don’t want to.

8, I don’t remember this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to. 

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and it is the year that I well and truly shattered, the year I learned of the depravity of men, the year I learned that I was just holes to fuck, an actress in a sick film, a faerie, a demon, a screaming little cunt, and that’s all I would ever be seen as. This is the year I learned why I liked demons more than angels, and why God was my enemy. This is the year I realized for real that I was alone in this cruel fucking world and no amount of crying or talking or begging will ever make them hear me. They smile and laugh. They smile and laugh. They smile and laugh. :) 

6, late stages, My Sunday school teacher is so nice to me! He has a fun secret that only him and I share! I love him, he takes good care of me. He makes me feel good and special inside. I think deep down…I know it’s not okay. But I can’t help it. Actually, I am really scared because I see the way he looks at me and I feel queasy. I know this is wrong but I am scared he’ll hurt me if I say no. He said that God will tell him if I tell anyone what he does, and if God knows I am bad then I will go to hell. I don’t want to go to hell!! I’ll do whatever you say! I promise. I’m a good little girl. I’m an angel! 

6, early stages, my mommy and daddy broke up. They are fighting in court for me, and I don’t really know what that means. Mommy said the church is helping dad pay for good lawyers so she probably won’t get custody of me. I don’t know what that means. Mommy says daddy is bad and evil. Daddy says mommy is bad and evil. I don’t know who is telling the truth. Or maybe they both are. Or maybe I am the bad and evil one?

5, My dad visits me every night and calls me his little angel. :) I am his sweet angel! His breath smells funny though. And his fingers hurt me a lot, and I don’t like the way he tastes. But he said since I am a good angel it’s okay, so he must be right. 

4, Daddy and mommy fight a lot, my daddy has bottles in his hands a lot. He breaks them a lot. He hits mommy a lot. I am scared so I go hide. I am a being of terror. 

3, I am a toddler but there’s a version of me that remembers that he started existing at this age. He did everything he could to protect me. Even though he didn’t really know why. Thank you, Deimos.

2,

1,

0. I am just a twinkle in my mother’s eye, she’s just a teen and she’s scared out of her mind. This baby is saving her life, though. She didn’t want to keep going but now she has to. If only she knew that 25 years from now this baby would be a shattered and broken mess of themself, because of things desperately out of their control. They were just a baby. You failed them. They all failed them. They all failed US. Too bad you were a Christian. Maybe instead we could have been aborted. Or, rather, maybe we wouldn’t have step foot in that fucking church in the first place.

[stxrliasfics]

TW: MENTIONS OF SA; GROOMING. PLEASE SCROLL IF THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

I wanted to share my takes on the Pod Meets World ep and the new Quiet on Set documentary that is out. This is going to be a long-winded blog post. I'll put a keep reading divider up so that no one will be bombarded while scrolling through their dash. I'd like to have a civil, adult conversation about this so if you decide to join in, please keep it mature.

In light of recent events with the whole Pod Meets World episode and the Quiet on the Set documentary coming out, it really opened my eyes more. I think a lot of fans have parasocial relationships with these stars, holding them on a pedestal, and forgetting that they are still real human beings who are prone to doing shitty human things. This is a reminder for me too. This is something I definitely need to break out of. And I'm mentioning this because it really did hurt to hear Drake Bell's story and how he really didn't get an apology. If what he said was true about Will and Rider only coming out with their episode after being notified about the documentary, then they deserve all the heat that they get. At first, I commended them for telling their stories on that creep Brian Peck and discussing their feelings during the court case. But now it seems disingenuous. I haven't gotten to watch the documentary aside from tidbits because I don't have a streaming service that I could watch it on, unless it comes on cable. And I haven't gotten to see the full Pod Meets World episode apart from the clips of Will talking so I plan on catching up and educating myself as much as I can. The guys apparently weren't told what was going on in the case and were blindsided by this. In no way am I doubting that they were groomed as well. But Drake mentioned that they were told everything by Peck before they wrote the letters and still decided to write them. That's insane in itself. As a CSA survivor and someone who was groomed and sexually harassed by an older "friend", it was disheartening to hear that my favorite actors were pretty much complicit and trying to save themselves when they realized their dirty work was being unsealed. And I didn't want to believe it when I read more on the info last night but it served me a reminder that these were real people outside of the characters. Obviously I know that, but Boy Meets World is one of my comfort shows and obsessions so it hurt to hear that. Although I enjoy the characters, I have to keep reminding myself not to get attached to the actors and actresses who play them. I brought the parasocial relationship thing up because that's what it felt like was radiating from the BMW reddit forum as well. Some of the people there were up in arms to defend them, saying "It was a different time period. They were told that Drake was coming on to Peck." DOES THAT NOT SOUND INSANE?? I’m pretty sure that they were told Drake was underaged, I can't remember too much from the podcast clips. If they knew, how did they not question it more before coming to court and writing the letters?? Not to mention that other people were reached out to write a letter for Brian and many declined. Were they already told about the case?? Were they only given small details just like Will and Rider?? My guess is that they already sensed how weird Peck was and got a bad feeling from his request. I would've thought that Will and Rider would have more common sense in something like this. But again, I don't know these people personally. None of their fans do.

And I will repeat once again, I'm not invalidating the guys' experience with Peck either. I wouldn't put it past Hollywood that the cast of BMW were all groomed and violated when they were younger too. The adults could've even been violated just as easily as well. From the clips that I've seen of Will talking about Peck, he seemed very genuine and remorseful. I’m sure that they were regretful. It's just that after hearing what Drake said about them not apologizing and them making the episode after the doc announcement, it feels off. Will admitted that he would like to apologize to Drake personally and Drake apparently isn't interested in an apology. Who can blame him? Would I accept an apology from anyone who stood up for my abuser? I don't think so. And Will had time to reach out to Drake before. Was it embarrassment that stopped him? And Brian could’ve very well lied to them. My own groomer is still walking around lying and gaining support from others.

The best research I could do was from forums, comment sections, and small clips, so please bear with me. I will educate myself more on the matter. But I felt the pain of every child actor that was affected because it reminded me of my own experiences and I'm upset with this new knowledge. We, of course, know what Drake was convicted of. I'm not mentioning that to take away from his trauma nor side with what he's done. But I've seen some people bring up this point at the mention of his experience with Brian Peck, invalidating him being sexually assaulted by this man. Firstly, I think that's absurd. We can still feel sympathy for Drake even if he isn't a good person.

The fact that Dan Schneider and Brian Peck are able to walk free TO THIS FUCKING DAY MAKES ME SICK!!! How the fuck was Peck only given 16 months in jail?????? They would've both been a bag of fucking bones by now underneath the cement of the jail if they hurt my kid. My next question is, what do we do about the child stars who are apart of these companies now? The ones who are still getting deals with Disney and Nickelodeon?? Just because Schneider and Peck were called out doesn't mean that ALL of the pedos under these companies are gone. All of the children affected deserve justice.

[kissitbttr]

Hey! I kinda just wanted to give my perspective on the whole dark content discourse going on right.

TW: Mentions of Childhood SA.

I am a CSA survivor. It happened to me when I was very, very young, like all the way back in elementary school.

I want to start this off with the statement of not all coping methods are healthy coping methods, and I think we should recognize that. We should recognize that certain kinks can develop due to past sexual trauma while also recognizing that there are better ways to cope out there.

I am in no way condoning any blogs that have written ped0philac content or actual r@pe content for the sake of kink.

I do think it is important to also acknowledge that R@pe, real r@pe, and consensual-non-consent (cnc) are not the same thing. In all cases of CNC, there is consent. It is fantasy because the point is to set up a scene. In all cases of proper CNC, all parties are consenting to play a character/role, and I think it is important that we understand these distinctions. A lot of victims of SA or r@pe like these fantasies and doing these scenes because they know that they have the power to end the scene at any time.

In general, for submissive parties in kink, being able to stop the scene is a source of power, and the aftercare that follows is also a source of comfort for them (again, given that all parties are executing their scenes properly).

I just wanted to add to the discussion and kinda explain the logic behind these kinks, so take this as you will. As I said earlier, not all coping methods are healthy coping methods. At the same time, however, I do not believe we should shame or harass those who find these coping methods are helpful to them (not saying that this is what you are doing - just speaking in a general sense!).

Anyways, I love your work. I just wanted to add to the discussion. Thank you!

first let me start off by saying how proud i am for you to be able to stay with us to this day and being strong, my love! i am so sorry that you have to go through that horrible incident. no one ever deserves it, i hope you are surrounded by positive environment and love right now <3

this actually a very helpful information. like i said before, i am no one to downplay any SA victims and their choice to cope though i would admit that it just confuses me for a bit. because not all authors here actually mention about going through a traumatic experience as a reason for them to write it. not that they’re obligated to say it by any means!

I appreciate your point of view and for you to come at me nicely about this. because instead of telling me to piss off, you actually give me a few insights that i would actually look through later on in psychological matter.

one thing that i’m concerned about when it comes to authors writing these type of content is we know how vulnerable tumblr audience could be. whether it’d be minors or not who then would develop these sort of kink and then eventually seek for it. so instead of actually coping, they just enjoy it. and i don’t want that to take a dark turn. because i once read one piece that involves either one, and i had to stop because it’s far too gory and insane for me to finish. in my head i was like ‘fuck how could they even think to do this’

i am not saying it’s the authors responsibility to keep an eye out on every single person who read their work but there’s nothing wrong with actually being careful every now and then.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: cocsa, csa, death mention just a vent. i've been thinking recently about how my family would react if they found out i grew up being SA'd by my cousin. i just can't open up about it to anyone knowing how it would destroy the family and I have no evidence. My grandma is in her mid 70's, and she cherishes my cousin a lot. Or so I think. I sometimes think how it would be for her to die peacefully without knowing such horrible things happened b/w her 2 grandkids. Sometime in my life, I definitely plan on telling this to my mom who also is fond of my cousin. It scares me but at the same time brings me reassurance that one point all the people who care about me will never know what happened in my life for me to grow up with so many issues and live w so much trauma. They'll just die and there will be no one to know of it. I don't know how much sense this makes, but I'm just scared of what happens once it gets out. It hurts while it's there within you, it will hurt even more once it's out in society knowing the culture over SA. I don't know, it's the fear of the fact that I just might tear my family apart in a sense that if my cousin is ever exposed and say really held accountable, it might draw a rift between my parents & my aunt and uncle. At the same time I wonder if they'll take me seriously since a lot of relatives view my cousin as the pride of the family. So that way it can again cause a rift because I'd become a scapegoat and 'reputation ruiner' as i like to call it, when I know what happened was real. I just feel really trapped and there's no way out. Someday the past will catch up and I'm really afraid it will all just crumble. Everything in my life and the life of my loved ones will be destroyed. Sorry if I framed some things in a confusing manner. Thanks for reading.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Also please know that there is no need to apologize, your ask is perfectly understandable.

It's common to worry about how people will react when you share your story. Please know that your feelings are valid. It's a vulnerable thing to share what happened, especially to your family. With the emotional gravity of your story, it's understandable why you may feel that you must keep this story from others so that they can live peacefully.

You are not alone in feeling this way, and this is something that I have personally dealt with. My poems of being assaulted were published to a lit mag, and my parents wanted to come to the publication party where I was to read the poems. I wanted them to come show their support but I also wanted to protect them from their own sadness and guilt. My therapist helped me to realize that other people's emotions are not my responsibility, and so if someone is devastated by my story, that's not necessarily my problem. Suffice to say, other people's emotions are not a valid reason to stop you from sharing your story.

Please know that, while it's completely up to you who to tell your story to, it's also completely up to you who NOT to tell your story to. If there are people that you don't want to know what happened, that should be your right. It's your story, so it's your jurisdiction who knows and who doesn't, although some people may not honor that.

In my situation, I had a discussion with my mom about my COCSA and how I wanted not to tell her because I wanted to protect her from her own guilt, but she told me she'd already been feeling it, and that the transparency actually provided her some relief. So it may be worth considering that the people you think are "peaceful" may be wearing a mask, and that sharing your story may actually strengthen some of your familial bonds.

I also just want to say that we as survivors are often made to feel that speaking up about what happened to us is like a weapon of mass destruction. But we need to remember that it's really our abusers doing all that destruction, we are merely the messengers. Just like our abusers destroy their own reputations when we expose them, any rift that may occur within your family is not your fault. You're simply speaking the truth, or doing whatever else feels right in your healing.

Please know that you are not defined by your past. You are a survivor, and your story has the power to inspire, uplift, and bring about positive change. As you continue on your healing path, may you find solace, strength, and the freedom to live a life filled with joy, love, and fulfillment. Keep holding onto hope, and know that you are never alone in this journey.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[mallowstep]

tbh i think what ur doing rn w the cws above the readmores and actual content is fine? it doesn’t expose more than, for example, a sa tw tag bc tumblr would still show what tag was being filtered out. i’m also fairly sure blocking u would make ur posts not show up in tags so if it’s a huge problem people can just block u

i suppose it's somewhat self-evident that i feel it is sufficient. if i didn't, i would do more.

ultimately, i know what is realistic to expect of myself, and that's written cws and readmores. tumblr gives you the tools to block out text as well (i've got one of my triggers blocked because it's a common trigger and squick that people don't fucking tag you think you do but you don't), and like. i'd want people to block me if what i do isn't enough because i can't promise more than that.

i think it is Unreasonable to expect me to not tag characters, as angst is part of what some people want (there was that Excellent mistystar drowns leopardstar comic in the leopardstar tag, for example), not to mention it's something i do for myself (my frustration at not being able to find my tigerstar drowns leopardstar scene, for example, and i was Lucky i had saved the draft of the post). especially since i have given you a tag to block if you don't want to see it.

with that in mind, there are triggers and squicks that are hard to block if one doesn't tag them. cults, for example. at no point does cult come up in the text, and it's frankly not something i usually include in a content warning.

so i do think asking me to tag that, and adding an abuse tag, is reasonable. my response is, i'll do my best but i can't guarantee anything.

in conclusion: obviously, i was doing something i thought was appropriate. someone made a request for a way to avoid the human misty au

i thought the way they wanted me to do that was unreasonable, so i asked for some input and found a solution that would allow people to avoid content they don't want to see.

you know -- i'm happy to do my best to provide tags. and i think on my end, as a content creator, it is reasonable to expect people to block tags they don't want to see. you know?

content warnings may be a new trend (god, does anyone else remember opening a fic on ffn and not knowing the hell you were getting into?), but it's a good trend imo, and one i'm happy to promote. i have personal reasons for some of what i do, and i have memory problems, and i'm a person, so i can't be perfect.

i, as an angst Creator and Consumer, and as a fic Writer, was admittedly somewhat affronted by the initial ask, not because of the request itself, but because it phrased it as though character tags exist purely for (feel-good) fanart. i assume the anon did not mean it this way (rsd is a bitch), but i Felt Like, "should i not tag 'for moments that we stole' with #squirrelflight, then?" again, not saying anyone Meant That, i'm just sharing what I Thought.

that's like. it's. i get really, really anxious about this. i'm Always Concerned i will not tag or warn for something. that's Part of why i prefer written out warnings to tag warnings, as well as: they're up top. you can't miss them.

if, for example, i don't want to see...drowning. if that's not something i want to see, but i hadn't thought of blocking it, and the only warning is in a tag, i don't know that going in. and that feels wrong to me. and yes, i could do both, and i do for csa, but that's the only promise i make. that, while i cannot provide a 100% guarantee of anything, i am very serious about tagging for it.

but anyway, it's kind of like. when i scroll through a character tag, fanart is great, but there's nothing like -- finding a new fic for them. and so like. again i don't think the anon meant this in the slightest, but it was phrasing that just bugged me.

i say all of this as like. i guess an example of how. there is not one good/reasonable approach. there are many.

when it comes to warnings and tags, my goal is always to provide people the ability to choose what they want to consume. that's why i put things under readmores and put cws up top. i understand skipping posts on mobile is hard, and i'll admit lately my standards for "requires a readmore" have gone up, but still -- i feel that approach is reasonable and sufficient. you have been warned; if you choose to continue consuming, that's on you.

however, it is equally reasonable to say, "i think you should tag cws." well, i won't (in a general sense), but i can do my best to be more compatible with that approach. if that means...i don't usually write a cw for cult, and people want me to, i will try to tag #cults. that's an equally reasonable request.

anyway this was supposed to be wrap-up. uh. real conclusion.

i think what i am doing is sufficient, or i'd be doing more. however, i respect that other people have different "protocols" for this, and i can do my best to be compatible with that.

i'm also -- before i wrap up, i just want to say, i do appreciate everyone being calm and rational during the discussion. it feels like something i shouldn't have to say, but i'm sure we've all been on the internet long enough to know that's not always what happens. it would have been easy for someone to be quite angry with me, and i'm just glad that they weren't.