#Also there are 3 Benri on there for... reasons. System Reasons.

[playstation-lichenthrope]

Expression practice with the y2kvr guys

[benreys-realm]

Reference sheet of the lovely B-479! (Aka, the lovely chaotic little troll Benry!!)

Commission/artwork done by frostios (THANK YOU SO MUCH FROSTIOS :3 ) please go check out her blog and her lovely works of art!! She also does commissions and video game streams!!! :3

This troublesome little alien is a chaotic little bean. He gets into plenty of trouble!

Known characteristics of B-479:

4 1/2 feet tall (currently)

23 years old (Same age as Gordon Freeman)

Can be extremely aggressive and dangerous. Suggested to be approached with extreme caution

What is known about his species is EXTREMELY LIMITED. Humans cannot seem to gain any answers from studies and experiments.

Can AND WILL EAT solid metal. Thinks it’s delicious

Has the ability to heal his body within seconds. Broken bones heal within an hour or so, same with missing limbs. Cuts bruises and small things heal almost immediately

Loves video games (to a fault)

Is UNDENIABLY touch starved

Looks like a weird hybrid between a raccoon, a maned wolf, and a red panda... in fact is an alien that just LOOKS VERY SIMILAR to these species. Is actually not related to any of those species

Is an alien from outer space. Has no idea where he came from or where he belongs

Actually has NO claws. He was declawed years ago do safety of the Black Mesa Staff

Is a junk food hoarder... don’t bring food into his room. It’ll be missing very quickly

Has a special “pouch” that he stashes things. It’s like a second stomach that actually doesn’t digest anything. Mostly storage space. Somehow doesn’t actually get anything wet and keeps things dry...? Don’t think about too hard...

Will more than likely steal anything of value. He LOVES SHINY THINGS (he’s like a raccoon your stuff is HIS stuff. You’ll more than likely not get it back either)

He will pester you relentlessly after he steals your passport. And no, you won’t get it back

He will demand endless cuddles and probably wanna curl up in your lap or something after he gets used to you

Is pretty gullible! He’s young and has very little experience with humans, so he will probably believe whatever you tell him (any past experiences with humans aside from Gordon have made him extremely uncomfortable around most people except for Tommy and Barney, whom actually cared about him. Also Gordon Freeman is an exception)

Is extremely curious and constantly wants to learn. Obsessed with human technology. He also loves EATING human technology. Says it helps him “learn”

Is undeniably intelligent. Smarter than most humans and is a tech genius

Just acts like an idiot. His age doesn’t help with his actions or antics, plays coy to anger the scientists, guards and past caretakers. Eventually, it came to a point to get Benry to cooperate force and aggression was needed. It became an abusive situation ever since the first year. It only made his hostility, anxiety, depression and temper worse.

Is extremely distrusting of most humans. He was treated poorly and like a lab rat since the first day he came into Black Mesa

Is... and can be incredibly rude and condescending. Doesn’t have many of any friends possibly for that reason

Sees Tommy Coolatta as his older brother, fully trusts him (Tommy is his caretaker and absolutely loves and adores Benry, fully intends in making him his younger legitimate brother)

Sees Barney Calhoun as his father figure. Barney treats Benry like a son. Barney has no kids and isn’t married, but he basically sees Benry as his own son. He will do ANYTHING to keep Benry safe and happy within his power, and is extremely tempted to just outright adopt Benry and say screw the system. That’s his son now

Has had a secret communication system with the man named Gordon Freeman for 3 years. Typically through emails, game chats and such. How Benry successfully hid the device that he hacked and used to communicate with Gordon for 3 years in secret is still unknown

He is incredibly lonely. He spent most of his life as a test subject and a prisoner, and will immediately grow very fond of anyone who treats him like a real person (AKA, Tommy, Barney and Gordon)

[evilneo]

idk the fandoms ur in but ummm for the ask game that benrey (?) guy ! (literally praying that is a guy u post about and i’m not mixing something up djksjd)

YEAH THAT IS A GUY I POST ABOUT!!!! Benrey! I know Benrey :)

This is abt og Benry btw, no aus, just og hlvrai :3

Sexuality Headcanon: Gay CANONICALLY 👍 also alloaro :)

Gender Headcanon: xe/xir pronouns! Complicated gender that xe also doesn't really care abt 👍 definitely nonbinary (not a man and also not a woman) (I actually have a fic im writing about it! It is.. doubtful that I'll ever finish it tho ahgshdjsjsksk)

A ship I have with said character: Frenrey is a popular one (which I do enjoy the enemies-to-friends-to-lovers dynamic) BUT I really like Tomrey rn (yes I am a sucker for best friends-to-lovers. 👍) And Frenreylatta is always a win in my book! (I LOVE the potential dynamic. And the potential for MANY layers of hurt/comfort. I made a few posts about I think!!!!)

A BROTP I have with said character: Benry and Tommy :) (which is canon) BUUUUT also I love the potential dynamic of Benry and Coomer (both were the first in-game characters who were self aware, albeit in different ways!) and Benry and Bubby (both subjected to Black Mesas bullshit :( also they both canonically teamed up (but that was for less than good reasons :/))

A NOTP I have with said character: I can't bring myself to like Benry/Forzen. I just. Can't? There's nothing wrong with it!! I just don't care about most variations of Forzen :p (except for the Mothra-Made variants/aus :) love those guys!!)

(also anything gross is bad :/)

Random headcanons: ⤵️

*gives xir psychosis and BPD* i PROMMY im.not projecting ok??????? Ok :)

There's also a user on here that HC xir as a system which I am 👍👍👍👍👍 about!!!! What are headcanons if not self-projection by another name

ALSO I love the interpretations of Normal Guy Benry and Eldrich Gordon. My friend Darkin does that well if I remember right :3 💛

General Opinion over said character: WAHHHHHHHHH I love xir. Lives rent free in my brain.* Also we don't like it in fics where they make xir say gamer words ALL the time. My funny guy has NEVER said pogchamp. Please know this.

*my headcanons for Benry (the character) are wayyyy different to Benrey (my alter). I made my headcanons for Benry as far as possible from Benrey so it would be less weird for the both of us 👍 just making that clear

[confusedunit]

Universe of Unreality - Chapter 3

Chapter 3 -  "W-what...could he mean...?" It's time, for the cascade. Tommy feels unsettled. Bubby and Coomer are confused. Dr. Freeman remembers something. 

Tommy was sure it couldn't have been long, that they couldn't have been too far behind Dr. Freeman. But by the time they made it to the observation room, he was already long gone. As the three entered, the men in the room looked up at them, and they didn't seem happy. But they never really seemed happy in the first place.

"Ah, Dr's Coomer and Coolatta. And Bubby." The man crossed his arms, even as Bubby growled quietly. "Once again, you three seem to have found your ways to exactly where you don't belong."

"Ah, but we are here to supervise!" Coomer spoke brightly, a grin on his face. To anyone who didn't know him, it probably looked genuine. "Dr. Freeman told us about his experiment, and we heard over the Black Mesa Automatic Diagnostic and Announcement System that the test had been pushed forward! So here we are!"

"And yet, you're late. Just as Gordon was." He sighed, tapping his foot. "You used to be so punctual, Dr. Coomer. I think that boy has rubbed off on you."

Bubby leaned forward. "In case you were somehow unaware, there's been problems with the tram system all morning. Everyone's running late. Unless someone stayed and worked unapproved overtime?"

The man seemed more uncomfortable, at that. "We've changed up the test, we all needed to make sure that nothing would go wrong. It's not our faults that Gordon decided to sleep in."

"He's been sick! With a flu that probably was caused here!"

Hmm, Tommy took note of that. Bubby remembered the illness too. But thinking he'd just come back from that...that was a problem for future him. Current him needed to try to get Dr. Freeman away from the room, without actually being able to get to him. He wished, for a moment, that Benrey was there. The troublemaker could just clip through the walls and go mess with the VOX, make a fake announcement. But he assumed the guard was with Dr. Freeman, which may just be safer.

"Are you accusing us of something, Bubby?"

"N-no sir, he's just...concerned for Mr. Freeman!" Tommy nodded, opening and closing his hands as he thought. "I...I think we shouldn't do this test today...it's- it's dangerous enough as it is, with- uh- without health concerns!"

The man turned to look up at him now. "You have no idea what you're talking about, Dr. Coolatta. With all due respect, you don't work in Anom, you work in HR."

Ah, right into his trap. Perfect. Like a horse kicking a hornet's nest. "Act- actually, that's exactly why I- I do know what I'm talking about...!" He smiled brightly, as his words became a bit more focused, as if he was reading them off a page. He wasn't, of course. He'd memorized them. "Working conditions for an employee of 'Black Mesa' and other subsidiaries are required to maintain the highest of possible safety, including but not limited to; well maintained equipment, monthly safety inspections, meticulous count of specimens, continued health of people and animals and experiments one may come in contact with, and multistage approvals of any and all tests posed, including any updates or changes to test protocol, sample, or equipment."

The other two Sector C scientists looked nervously to the first one. The Science Team all grinned back.

"...Ah, well-"

"So as you can see, Mr..." He glanced at the man's name tag. "...Teasley, currently at least three of those requirements are- are being broken right now!"

Bubby crossed his arms, nodding. "Continued health of those one would come in contact with would include Dr. Freeman."

"He's been cleared to return to work, Bubby. That meets the requirement."

Tommy shook his head. "He is still unwell, even if not contagious. Putting him...right back in- into testing with the radiation, that's unsafe!"

"He is a grown man, Dr. Coolatta. He doesn't need your protection."

Oh, but he does, he wanted to insist. But he knew Teasley wouldn't understand. But it wouldn't matter anymore, soon.

"Actually, as far as I remember," Coomer spoke up. "No labs in Sector C have been properly inspected lately. Or Sector G, now that I think about it."

Teasley tensed up again. "We have one scheduled, and we've been given the go ahead on the test. That isn't a problem either."

"But the last two are. Meticulous count of specimens, and multistage approvals. I- I haven't heard of anyone getting any r-requests from your department!" He stared down at the smaller man. "We've b-been assigned all the paperwork, you know. E-even stuff that isn't...ours."

Teasley suddenly stiffened, staring right up at him. "We've gotten permission from Administration to conduct this test directly."

Tommy recognized that language. He doesn't like it. He narrows his eyes. "The Administrator would never approve of such a violation of-"

Teasley cut him off by taking a step into his space, lowering his voice. "The Administrator, isn't who you think he is, Tommy."

He took a step back, and he knew from the reaction of the men in front of him that his eyes had changed colors for a brief moment. He covered them quickly, hoping that his friends hadn't noticed the glow.

Pink, to grey, to white as chalk, means 'I am feeling quite the shock'.

It seemed like they hadn't, as they both moved forward to his sides. Coomer latched onto him, while Bubby moved a step in front.

"Tommy, are you alright?"

"What are you getting in his face for? What is your problem??"

Teasley stomped his foot, loudly. "That is enough! All three of you, get out of here before you make a mess of our equipment. It is our job to keep Dr. Freeman safe, and the fact that you've all barged in here is going to make us even later!"

Tommy let his hands fall, looking over at the man one more time. He had to try one last time. "But-"

"No buts! Everyone out!"

He felt shame, as the three of them left the room. They couldn't stop it, this time. They hadn't the other time either, but...at least they'd been there for him then. He sighed quietly, moving over to sit with his back against one of the walls.

Coomer sat on his right side, taking his arm once again. "...He will be alright. He is a strong man, for how young he is."

Bubby sat on his left, taking off his glasses to clean them. "He made it through before, he'll be fine."

Tommy pressed his palms into his eyes. "That was Gordon, not- not Dr. Freeman..."

"...Wait. Wait wait wait, Tommy...you know that?"

He tensed. "Uh..."

"If I may also interrupt, how do you two remember Gordon? I can understand why I do, however..."

The power flickered for a moment, and they felt as the machine started to rumble.

"...A conversation for a...a later time." Tommy said quietly, hands falling into his lap.

The others said nothing in return, as they all watched the door.

-

Dr. Freeman sighed, as they walked down the final hallway. "And they keep changing it! All the time!"

"wow, bro, that's like...super sucks." Benry gave a grin. "want me to beat them up?"

"Nah, man, that's like...my boss. I think. I've got so many I don't remember who's the highest up." He shrugged. "So we just sneak into the vents to break in. Or at least, we used to. I haven't seen him in a while...Hope he hasn't gotten sick too." He looked over to his friend. "You've met Calhoun, right?"

"uhhhh..." He seemed to think about this for a few moments. "...nah, don't think so. he cool?"

He smiled a bit. "He's a riot. He's the reason we aren't allowed to have Sector-wide bar parties anymore. Well, he and I. We got absolutely hammered one night, and someone decides to dare us to- well, I don't remember the details anymore, but I do remember that the surveillance system on that part of topside was busted for two months, and we only ended up with minorly broken bones. They scheduled him in different Sectors more often after that." He laughed. "Kleiner threw a fit, because no other guard knew how to get into his office through the vents, but they didn't really change their minds."

"huh. good to know." He glanced away.

"I think you two would get on like a house and fire."

"we'd what? huh?" He looked quickly back.

"It's a saying. Means you'd get along super well. Because houses burn easily?"

He blinked slowly, like a cat. "not human bro. don't know your...weird language."

He shook his head, as he entered the airlock. "I think it's called a...well I guess it's a metaphor, but I meant something else."

"malaphor." He stepped in after him.

"No, that's- what? What does that even mean?"

"like, you'll burn that bridge when you get to it. tommy says them."

The two scientists in the room decided, blessedly, to ignore the conversation, and just move to their stations.

"No, that's definitely a metaphor, what he says. But that's...your example isn't even one. There's crossing the bridge when you get to it, and burning bridges. Those are completely different things."

"but like, why not do both at once? 100% speedrun that shit."

"No, like, that would mean something entirely different, is what I'm saying." He shook his head as the door opened, waving to the two scientists. "Thank you. Sorry I'm late. I'll get right to work."

"they should give you an apology..." He muttered quietly to himself, standing right next to him.

Dr. Freeman took a breath, looking around the room. It felt like it had been ages since he'd been inside the test chamber, and being back...filled him with a feeling of ease. This was his stomping ground, his domain, the one place that his coworkers seemed to actually take him seriously. As sad as it was, it almost felt like home. Like it reached to him, pulled on him like a siren's call. He would feel the Resonation, hear the crystals sing, and he would almost feel at peace.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a small tug on his arm. "uh...bro? you good?"

He blinked slowly, looking over to Benry. "Huh? Oh, uh...yeah." He looked back at the machine. "Just thinking."

"what about?"

"The Resonance. It's..." He shook his head. "Look, they got...they got microphones. They'll call me crazy again. I'll...tell you later."

For a moment, the smaller man looked like he was going to say something, but the intercom cut him off with instructions.

Dr. Freeman moved through the process with ease, activating the bottom console before moving up the ladder to activate the top one. He went through the startup process with the observation crew, taking note of the unplanned changes. Increased power, larger sample...ugh, his data was going to be a mess. They'd have to run at least two more tests to actually get any usable data out of this. Well, at least he could organize what they were going to get later. Give him something to do at least.

He climbed down, giving a thumbs up to Benry as he passed his spot where he'd decided to sit on the floor. He moved across the room, to wait for the sample. As soon as it arrived, he rested his hands on the handle of the cart, trying to calm his breath. Every step he took towards the machine made his heart pound, and he didn't know why. Sure, this was the first test in ages, but everything would be fine. He was in control. It wouldn't mess up this time-

He stopped in his tracks, wracking his brain. What did that mean? They'd definitely never done this test before...they'd done smaller ones, but not one this big. Did something...no, the smaller ones had all gone fine, hadn't they? He'd been there for all of them-

He felt his heart skip again, before he shook his head and returned to his work. He felt his skin crawl as he got near, an anxiety he wasn't expecting starting to pop up. His own song, his brain, was screaming at him. Something was wrong. The song wasn't supposed to be like this. Not his. He took a steadying breath, just as he finally pushed the crystal into the beam.

The immediate cacophony was almost deafening, and he scrambled backwards. That was the wrong shade of green, and it was so much worse than the last time he'd seen it- His back slammed against the lift cage, and he gripped onto it like a lifeline, as he watched the colors pulse and shine. The wrong shade of green, and the crystal's song was upset. Not like before, when the only crime was pushing in the sample too fast, this was a song as if the crystal itself was distressed, faint waves of sound mixing with the Geiger counter in the HEV, mixing with his own song, and as he stared up into the glowing mass he felt a small bit of confusion, before a moment of understanding.

This wasn't supposed to happen. But...he could fix it.

He pushed himself to his feet and started to sprint across the room, not even flinching as the glass up above him shattered. He stumbled at a shake of the ground, but made his way over to the lower console. He'd done this before. He could do it again. And once it was all okay, he'd figure out why the hell he knew he'd done this before. A problem for a him that gets to be alive.

He looked up, and saw Benry holding onto the ladder for dear life, black and grey and yellow and blue orbs hovering around him. Once the smaller man saw him, he dropped, rushing over. "bro we gotta get you out of here, you don't got a helmet-"

"I'm not worried about the radiation. It hasn't killed me yet." He looked down at the console again, before returning his look to his friend. "Benry, I need your help."

"anything, bro, just-"

He tightly gripped Benry's upper arms, trying to ground himself. "I need your help. I can shut this down, but I need your help."

A few orbs seemed to pour from the guard's lips, a fragile looking gold. "wha?"

"There's a failsafe, here in this room. But I need your help to do it." He flinched, as the machine gave a worrying groan. "I don't have the speed to do it myself this time."

"this time? bro?"

"I'll...I'll figure out what that means later. More being alive now." He pulled away, rushing for the ladder.

"wait! what do i do?"

"Everything's numbered! When I tell you to start, you hit the numbers backwards! Hit one, then yell the number to me, and I'll hit mine! When I call out the number back, you move to the next!" He climbed up the ladder as quickly as he could while the world shook, stumbling along the catwalk to the upper console.

"uh, what-"

"On my mark, you start at five! And go backwards from there!" He held onto the console for dear life, glancing down. "Ready?"

Benry looked up for a brief moment, before he nodded. "ready."

"Now!"

A click. "five!"

He reached out to his own console, flipping a switch. He looked over at the machine, smiling faintly as he heard the crystal's song change slightly. "Five!"

Another click. "four!"

He pressed a button this time, and the machine's spin started to slow. "Four!"

A thunk, this time, before the click. "three!"

He twisted a knob this time. "Three!"

Another click. "two-"

An explosion shook the entire room, as the laser arched and burst off of the mass. He barely kept from toppling off of the catwalk. "Shit, Benry, you good?"

He was given no response.

"Benry??" He looked down over the edge of the catwalk, and felt his heart stop. Below, the lower console was destroyed, a burning husk of metal and plastic all that remained. The spot where Benry last stood was burned, part of the blast even having damaged the wall behind. There was no sign of the guard, or even of his helmet.

He covered his mouth with his hands, trying to calm down. The man had always insisted he wasn't human, that he'd be fine in any dangers. In that moment, more than anything else, he hoped that he'd been telling the truth.

He pressed a button on his own console, feeling sick. "Two..." He mumbled to himself, starting to lose balance. His friend was gone. He hadn't been fast enough, couldn't protect him...and now he couldn't even shut the machine down. But as he heard the song change more, the lights fading closer to yellow, he knew he could at least stabilize the beam. Maybe...at least then his work wouldn't have been in vain.

He entered commands into the console on autopilot, taking a step back once he was done. Minimal power, into the crystal, which would keep the machine from destroying itself, and seemed to have made the green energy minimal. It would give a stable amount of data. And according to said data, the power from the crystal would keep the machine self sustaining, if not actively feeding back into the grid. What a time to find a green power source.

He stumbled on his way to the ladder, dropping to the catwalk and crumpling over himself. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't exit the room without the bottom console to override the door, no one in the observation room was talking to him, and Benry...

He shook his head, trying to keep himself steady. But all he could think of was all of his friends. Would this be effecting anyone else in the facility? With the amount of power drain, the shaking, the explosions and the screams he'd heard...what had they done? How many people would...

He heard the song change pitch, and the laser arched again. An explosion hit the wall. The part of the catwalk under him gave way, and he fell through the air. He heard another change, and felt electricity strike through him, pain keeping him from screaming.

His last thought was, 'strange, my glasses aren't cracked this time', before he felt nothing.

[confusedunit]

Universe of Unreality - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 -  "Benry, you gotta stop telling people I'm dead, man."

Dr. Freeman paused for a moment in the 'airlock', catching his breath as he waited for the door to open. He was so late. Why did they always do this? Change tests around at will, change times and alert him via pager at 6am. Couldn't they just pick a time and stick to it? It had originally been a 10am test, and it looked like now it was gonna be that anyway.

God, he needed to have words with his boss. He designed his test, let him get to pick the times he runs it. He's always two weeks in advance with his test prep anyway! There's time to prepare for the energy usage at those times! There's even less time to prepare if they shift times around three hours before.

He sighed as the door finally opened, adjusting his glasses as he hurried over to the front desk. He reached up to pull his hair into a small ponytail, missing the length his hair used to have. Stupid dress code, with it's 'professional hairstyles' requirement. He kept it long enough for the smallest ponytail out of spite.

"Hey, Mr. Freeman. Looks like you're running late." The guard looked up at him with a grin. "Again."

"Wouldn't happen so much if they kept their times straight. You'd think they would have learned by now." He smiled a bit, letting his arms fall from his hair. "Didn't I tell you to call me Gordon, Fredrick?"

"Didn't I tell you to call me Freddie, Gordon?" Freddie smirked, giving him a shrug. "Anyway, I had some messages left for you I think. Guess they didn't think to email you. But there's been system issues all day, so I don't know where they are now. I'll forward them to you if we find them?"

"What, none of them thought to use a pen and paper?" He snickers. "Sounds good, Freddie. I'll check later."

"Good luck with the test." He waves him off. "With how things have been today, you might need it."

"Keep your luck, man. I've got enough of my own. Promise." He grins, before quickly jogging down the hall.

-

Tommy didn't know what he had been expecting, when he had turned the corner away from the break-room. But hearing someone call out down the hall 'Good morning, Dr. Freeman.' hadn't been one of the things. Hearing a reply of 'Hey, sorry, running late.' was even less expected.

He knew that voice. Oh God, he knew that voice. He'd almost forgotten it, but he knew it so clearly. He spun around quickly, sprinting back down the hall, and barely skidded to a stop in front of the man walking in.

Dr. Freeman looked up at him, startled, before he grinned. "Hey, Dr. Coolatta!"

He barely held back tears, as he lunged forward to pull the shorter man into a tight hug. He hadn't...he hadn't known Dr. Freeman was even still alive, what with...everything Black Mesa had been doing. He'd thought the man was gone. He hadn't even looked...God, he hadn't even looked...

Dr. Freeman returned the hug, though he seemed a bit confused. "...Uh, Tommy? You okay, bud?"

He wondered how much the MIT grad knew. How much he remembered. God, how long had he been awake, and...no, he couldn't...he couldn't blame himself. If he couldn't find Dr. Freeman, and Benrey couldn't find Dr. Freeman, then they had to have hidden the man somewhere hard to find. Somewhere none of them would have looked. Or been able to look? He didn't know.

"...Tommy, you're holding me a bit tight there-"

He flinched, pulling back from the hug. "I'm- I'm sorry, Dr. Freeman!"

The younger man held up his hands, smiling a bit nervously. "It's fine, you didn't hurt me or anything. I'm just- ...You okay? You're acting like you've seen a ghost."

Oh, if only he knew how true that statement felt. "I'm fine. Didn't...didn't sleep well, is all. And I missed you!"

"I know I was gone for a few weeks, but it was just a flu. I'm feeling better now." He gave a smile, as if to convince the other that he was fine. He didn't...look entirely fine, though. He looked drained, tired. Still recovering, he'd probably insist.

"Right..." Tommy took that information and sorted through it. He still thought...if he thought this was his return from when he was sick...that complicated matters a lot. But it also explained several things, to him. "Sorry, Dr. Freeman. I was just...really worried..."

"I'm okay, promise. Still..." Dr. Freeman shifted from foot to foot. Okay, so he knew he was lying a bit. "...Okay, so I'm still feeling a bit lethargic, but other than that I'm okay. Got cleared to come back, too! Paperwork's in order, I'm not contagious." He startled, as if just remembering something. Difficulty remembering things as well...? "Which, right- sorry to cut this convo short, Tommy, but I'm, uh- I'm like...half an hour late for my test. Gotta run!" He waved, as he started jogging away again.

Late? For a test? Oh, that meant that today really was- Oh no. No, he wasn't going to let Dr. Freeman go through that. "Wait!"

"Sorry, I'll talk with you at lunch!" Without another chance, he went around the corner, and he was gone.

-

It was a strange sensation, to be within the locker rooms while feeling only one set of eyes. Dr. Coomer hadn't experienced that in...a very long time. He couldn't correctly remember the amount of time, but he knew it had to be long. The clones had been around for years, after all. ...Even if, chronologically, that didn't make much sense.

He'd sat down on the floor, staring at his locker, and gotten lost in thought. His, not a clone's. They each had their own, but this one...this one was his. He knew this. This was one distinct fact that he had exact evidence for. It was other things that were much more complicated. Such as the paradox of years. According to all the information he had, these had to be false memories. Gordon had admitted this had been a game, correct? Which meant...his memories had to be false. Lies. Fabricated backstory for an AI to parrot to a player that he was programmed to be compelled to follow.

And that had been easy to take to, and understand, during the Science Team's time with Gordon. But now...now that data itself seemed flawed. Incorrect. Because according to his memory, Gordon was the first person to have 'played' through this scenario.

And yet, he remembered very clearly, waking up earlier than he had when he went to see Gordon. And he'd slowly started to remember a few other things, as he'd sat there, undistracted for once in a long time. Remembered wandering around Biological Research. Remembered a group game night at one of the laundromats in the Level 3 dormitories. Remembered combing through databases, for something-

He winced, rubbing at his head. Perhaps whatever had caused this 'restart' of sorts had messed with his memory code. None of these memories were making sense. He liked when things made sense. He wanted to think about literally anything else, other than that his own head was confusing him severely.

"In psychology and logic, rationalization or rationalisation, also known as making excuses, is a defense mechanism in which controversial behaviors or feelings are justified and explained in a seemingly rational or logical manner to avoid the true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable—or even admirable and superior—by plausible means. It is also an informal fallacy of reasoning-"

He clamped a hand over his mouth. He hated that he'd started doing that again (again?), his unconscious mind seeming to attempt to tell him what he was avoiding by accessing Wikipedia articles and forwarding them directly to his mouth. He could handle his normal info-dumping, such as the chair incident when he'd attempted to cheer up Gordon after such a time of stress. But this kind, where he seemed to be calling himself out, was really grating his nonexistent nerves.

He slowly stood, blinking as he heard the door to the locker room. He turned, with a smile. "Ah, hello-" He stopped, hand raised in greeting, as he stared at the person entering the room.

Dr. Freeman blinked in return, before he smiled. "Oh, hey Dr. Coomer! Sorry, I know, I should be in the test chamber already, but I'm running late." He waved, before quickly moving past him. "Hopefully it won't be delayed too much longer! I just gotta get the HEV suit on." He hurried to the back of the room, before moving through to the area where the suits are stored.

Coomer very quickly sat down on one of the benches, hands clasped together in front of him. Because he knew that man. Dr. Freeman, the actual Dr. Freeman, not Gordon 'not Freeman' that had just played through the game. But that was...impossible, wasn't it? ...Why would they have an actual version of the person that a player was supposed to play as? That seemed...incorrect. Like everything else he'd thought about so far that day.

Even more than that, was the fact that he knew Dr. Freeman. He'd consulted with him on a few of the younger man's theories for his resonance tests. Dr. Freeman had called him his mentor. But how could those memories be correct if he was just...a chunk of code? He vividly remembered, sitting down outside in an outside break area in Sector B, eating pizza that had been bought for him while Dr. Freeman rambled on about his teleportation theories, and his thoughts about frequency tuning. 'Like a radio,' He'd confirmed with the younger man, finishing his slice of veggie lover's pizza.

But...why would he remember so clearly what someone would have left as a footnote in his backstory file? Was this kind of thought why they'd split him into three hundred clones? Was it to protect him? That would be a first, from Black Mesa, doing something to protect someone else...

He barely noticed Dr. Freeman leave, only able to give him a wave in return. He slowly looked up again, when he heard the door open once more, Tommy Coolatta standing there. He gave him a look, and the other had walked over to sit with him, pulling him into his arms. He closed his eyes.

-

Benrey shifted from foot to foot, trying to pretend like he totally wasn't anxious. He was sure it was working, and the guard across the hall from him was just snickering because...he didn't know, maybe thinking of Fruit Loops or something? He'd heard once that people aren't them when they're hungry, or whatever, and he's pretty sure that that guy's job was to mind his own business or whatever.

He reached up and fidgeted with his hat, which earned another snicker. Oh man, if that guy kept that up Benrey was gonna...do something. Kinda thought throwing him down the hall would be fun, but apparently that's 'frowned upon' and 'hurts people' or whatever. So that was a no on that one. Rude, then, for the guy to laugh, if he couldn't retaliate. Hmmph.

...What was he thinking about? Right, all he had to do was wait for Gordon. Gordon was gonna come around that corner any minute now, and yell at him for messing everything up even though he totally hadn't because he'd thought he was helping, and they'd figure out how to fix it even if that meant going through the whole scenario again. Easy peasy.

Except the man who came around the corner in the HEV suit wasn't the Gordon he'd just spent three days tormenting.

"oh holy shit-" He pushed off of the wall immediately, sprinting down the hall. "freeman!" He lept towards him.

Dr. Freeman let out a yelp, turning quickly to catch Benrey against himself. Their momentum sent him backwards, slamming into the wall.

"bro! bro!! it's been, like, five-ever!" He laughed, knocking their heads together.

"Hey, Benry. I know I told you I was sick, and that's why I've been scarce." He slowly set him down, before starting to walk. "Have you been telling people I've been dead or something?"

"what? no way, that's not a cool joke. you told me that." He followed right at his side. "why? do you want me to?"

"No!" He laughed. "I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. I've been getting weird looks."

Benrey blinked slowly. "what kinda weird looks?"

"Just Tommy and H- Dr. Coomer, I guess. But they both stared at me weird. Tommy looked like he thought I died, and Dr. Coomer looked like he was having a mental breakdown." He shrugged, as if that was normal. "Was just wondering if one of your pranks had gotten out of hand again."

He thought about that for a moment. That was good to know, at least. He figured Tommy would remember what had gone on, but...Dr. Coomer sounded like he remembered some stuff too. So that was...weird? But sounded good. Then they wouldn't have to have like, some kind of emotional talk where they all figured out what the fuck was going on. He liked that. Because those talks were always awkward, and he was never invited.

But wait, put that thought on hold, he had work to do. "hey, uh, you got ID?"

Dr. Freeman raised an eyebrow. "Earth to Benny, come in Benny." He gestured to the ID he was already showing the other guard.

The other guard snickered again, opening the door.

"Are you sure you didn't prank anyone while I was gone?" He walked through the door.

He hurried quickly with him. "uh, nope, no pranks here." Did the arm thing count? Shit. "...okay one prank, but it wasn't that. or any of them. i keep my word, bro."

He smiled a bit. "I know you do. Now, I gotta get downstairs. I'm late."

"uhh, I gotta come with you. you, uh, you got...passport?" He grins. "gonna need your passport."

He shook his head with a chuckle, starting down the hall. "I've got my old one in my locker, but it's expired. My new one's on my kitchen counter back in my dorm room. ...Shit, was the policy change today?"

"'fraid so. looks, uh, like i'm just gonna have to follow you, then."

He walked into the elevator, holding the door open for him. He smiles. "Well, come on then. I'm already late enough as it is."

He skipped into the elevator, grinning back. "missed you, bro." He's not lying, he just hadn't realized how much he'd missed him while he'd been gone. Time always passed differently for him, but he felt like it probably had been a while.

"Missed you too, Benry." He pressed the elevator button. "Missed you too."

-

Bubby didn't know how the fuck to handle everything that had just happened.

He'd been checking some machines, not trusting that the other scientists wouldn't fuck up worse this time and kill Gordon for good, when suddenly Benry had come around the corner and brought Dr. Freeman with him.

He knew Dr. Freeman, he'd seen him often with Dr. Coomer, and had intentionally gotten into as many arguments as possible with the young theoretical physicist. So why had seeing him come as such a shock? He wasn't Gordon, not the Gordon from the last few days anyway. And now that he'd thought about it, that should have been obvious. The language, the irritation and confusion, hell even the hair had been all wrong since it'd been way longer and a bit unkempt.

He was supposed to be perfect, but this had slipped past him. What the hell was going on?

The two had left, heading off towards the test chamber, leaving Bubby to stand there confounded and alone. He was glad when he heard the doors behind him open again, and heard two sets of steps approaching.

"Uh, h-hello Dr. Bubby." Tommy spoke quietly as the two approached.

He turned. "Hey, Tommy. Dr. Coomer." He crossed his arms. "Do you know what the fuck is going-" His arms fell immediately. "...Dr. Coomer, are you alright?"

"I'm...yes, professor. I am normal." He sure didn't look normal. He looked stressed, freaked out, like a single breeze would knock him over. Dr. Coomer never looked so small, so weak.

"That's not the question I asked." He rested his hands on Dr. Coomer's upper arms, before looking up at Tommy. "...What's going on with him?"

"He's...having a bit of a crisis. From..." He gestured around them. "...All of it."

"So you remember, then? Both of you?"

"...Yes."

"Hmm." He glanced towards the door. "...As much as I wish we could stand here and try to figure out what's wrong, Harold, I think we all know what comes next."

Dr. Coomer tensed. "...He might..."

"Maybe we can, uh, try to...stop them?" Tommy glanced around, nervously. "Call it off, maybe?"

"We can sure as hell try." He adjusted his glasses. "Come on, we've got trouble to brew."

Dr. Coomer seemed to finally relax a bit. "I'd much rather have tea brewed...but trouble will do for now."

"Then lets hurry, we've only got a few minutes before- before he gets down there!"

The three quickly scampered down the hall, after their friends.