#And I have so much simultaneous nostalgia for those camp experiences

[endreal]

Felt nostalgic today for old summers that—on the level—weren't actually that great, but gosh I miss my days working as a camp counselor (t-shirt unrelated, I just really like it + the little dahnosawur in the corner) (they/them)

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

What I'm Watching: April 2024

Back at it again with Rocky Horror Picture Show, A Knight's Tale, The Exorcist, Doom Patrol, Hard Candy, and Dead Boy Detectives. I did a lot of regular writing this month and it used up words that would have gone into this, so bear with me.

Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

A newly-engaged couple have a breakdown in an isolated area and must seek shelter at the bizarre residence of Dr. Frank-n-Furter.

I think I was still riding the very distinct high of Repo! when I decided to throw this on, and I think they'd make a good double feature. Shockingly, this was only my second all-the-way-through watch, and I can't tell you why that is, because I love this movie. I'm familiar with the discourse, but I'm in the camp of "context is everything" and back in the day? This was groundbreaking. Even now, the general celebration of embracing what gives you joy no matter what anyone else has to say about it is nothing to scoff at. And yeah, I cried at the ending. Do something about it. I am, however, ashamed to say that I did not do the time warp this time around...but I sang along, so that counts.

A Knight's Tale (2001)

After his master dies, a peasant squire, fueled by his desire for food and glory, creates a new identity for himself as a knight.

Kind of at a loss for this one, ngl. This was a combined favorite between me and my brother when we were younger, and we did in fact run through two VHS copies over the years (which reminds me that I still need to get my hands on a DVD). Not only does it hold up, but I think it's even better coming back to it after so long. The nostalgia still hits, and age/experience makes some elements hit harder. But god DAYUM, did it make me bawl. Found family, underdogs beating the odds, and Heath fucking Ledger. I'm still mourning that man, and I will until the day I die. If you've gotten used to me yelling about Mike Flanagan ensembles, then apply any one of those tirades here, because the supporting cast is Excellent™. This is the movie that introduced me to Alan Tudyk, Mark Addy, and James Purefoy, who have yet to disappoint me, and it also kick-started my crush on Paul Bettany. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the snarky smooth talkers who are simultaneously the smartest little shits in the bunch and also cringefail losers. And the soundtrack? Speaks for itself. You can't separate the music from the movie, and to this day I'll hear songs used and still think of this movie before anything else. This was the first place I heard my favorite David Bowie song! (I unfortunately lost my train of thought for the rest of this section, but) If for some reason you haven't watched this yet, I highly recommend it. It's fun, hilarious, and occasionally heartwarming. It's medieval Rocky! What else is there to say?

The Exorcist (1973)

When a young girl is possessed by a mysterious entity, her mother seeks the help of two Catholic priests to save her life.

I'm also at a loss on this one. Everyone has a few classics they just can't get on board with, and this is one of mine. Maybe it's just that religious horror doesn't do it for me, or that some nitpicks I have with the pacing and editing take me right out of it. Don't know, don't really care. None of that, of course, is to say that I think this is a bad movie, which is the most annoying part. I want to like it more than I do! Believe me! But the stuff that I take issue with kinda blow the whole thing for me. I already made a separate complaint post, so I'll focus on everything else here. Linda Blair and Ellen Burstyn carry this thing on their permanently injured backs (look up the production of this movie if you want to have a bad time) and there's no contesting that. Yeah, sure, the whole question of faith plot is no doubt compelling, it's moving as shit when good triumphs over evil, blah blah don't really care. The strongest aspect of the movie for me is the relationship between the MacNeils. You can't spend so much time establishing how close they are and how much they love (and like!) each other and expect me not to latch onto them. The entire point of that time spent is to make it hit that much harder when Chris breaks down in desperation to help her daughter. Tell me you don't feel something when she's sobbing and begging Father Karras to do something for Regan. Juxtapose that with how detached Karras is from his own mother and his guilt that he wasn't there for her when she needed someone, just for funsies.

Doom Patrol (2019-2023)

The adventures of an idealistic mad scientist and his field team of superpowered outcasts.

Ok. OK. You've been seeing my meltdowns ever since I started this, but that doesn't even scratch the surface of how weird/fun/cathartic this show is. I knew I loved it as soon as I saw certain casting announcements back in 2018 without knowing literally ANYTHING else about it. I'm just getting into season two, and I've already cried so much over these broken, chaotic, disasterpiece losers. Again, not many words for the roundup, but expect more meltdowns.

Hard Candy (2005)

Hayley's a smart, charming teenage girl. Jeff's a handsome, smooth fashion photographer. An Internet chat, a coffee shop meet-up, an impromptu fashion shoot back at Jeff's place. Jeff thinks it's his lucky night. He's in for a surprise.

Impossible--IMPOSSIBLE--to overstate how much this movie means to me. Discovering it when I was getting serious about writing changed the way I write. Learning about production changed the way I watch movies. And finding this story of all stories, exactly when I needed it, probably did more to keep me in one piece than we have time to discuss here. THANK. GOD. It still works. This one is right up there with Perfect Blue in that it skeeved me out so bad the first time I saw it that I had no intention of going back to it ever again, but the longer it sat with me, the harder it was to shake it off. The older I get, the harder it is to sit through, and I think that works 100% in its favor. I'm not about to make this standard practice, but here's the trailer, included because it's still my favorite that I've ever seen:

Leaving aside the story for awhile, the whole thing is top notch. Barring maybe fifteen minutes, the entire movie is one location and two characters. Naturally, things have to stay interesting somehow, and the script alone kicks ass. There is maybe one scene that could be cut, but that's it. Everything else builds off of everything that came before. The cinematography stays dynamic, with gorgeous wide shots and intimate close ups, smooth and sweeping movement during quiet moments and frenetic handheld action when shit goes down. The color palette of the set and the editing is harsh and atmospheric. The sound design is *chef kiss* crisp. And the performances pull all of that together. If the premise of 30-something guy and 14-year-old girl meeting online and then in person at his place isn't icky enough, then seeing how Jeff and Hayley interact with each other will do it. Patrick Wilson sells you on the charming groomer, and his casual delivery of some of these lines are, in context, fucking horrifying. Contrast that with Elliot Page, equally charming in the opposite direction, trying so hard to be mature and impressive. Each one knows they shouldn't be meeting the way they are and acknowledge how inappropriate the whole situation is, and with the first line of dialogue you get hit with this sense of dread over what is going to happen to this kid. And then the first twist happens. It's an interesting power dynamic, each trying to get one over on the other and overlaid with this commentary on predators in online spaces, how abuse victims are often dismissed and persecuted, and how the perpetrators of some of the most vile crimes you can think of never have to answer for what they do. It is baked into nearly every scene, and it could read very easily as soapboxy or heavy handed, but Page delivers it with rage and disgust, and paired with Hayley's moments of distress and vulnerability, it paints a very visceral picture that is so. Fucking. Cathartic. If I have to boil this one down to a single statement, it's "how you wish Lolita had gone."

Dead Boy Detectives (2024-)

Charles Rowland and Edwin Paine decided not to enter the afterlife to stay on Earth and investigate crimes that involve supernatural stuff.

WATCH THIS SHOW. FINISH THE WHOLE THING. I WANT A SECOND SEASON.

[yierknives]

Is the value of Bluetooth speakers under $100 worth our investment?

Bluetooth speakers are a great option for listeners who like to listen to music, podcasts, and audiobooks from their mobile devices wirelessly. Unlike speakers with Wi-Fi, Bluetooth-compatible speakers don’t rely on an internet connection to stream audio, which makes them a bit more portable. With so many Bluetooth speakers on the market, there are lots of quality speakers available at more affordable prices. Whether you like listening to music, communicating with a voice assistant, or bringing your audio outdoors, there’s a budget Bluetooth speaker that can meet your needs.

The right Bluetooth speaker under $100 is hard to find. Most of us don’t mind if a speaker that costs less than $20 breaks because it was “good enough” while it lasted. You might even be able to afford to replace it. But the point of no return is when you spend $100. It starts to become more of an investment, rather than an accessory for your phone. Bluetooth speakers under $100 need to be more than good enough, they need to be great.

As you should expect for this price-point, there needs to be a certain level of durability and quality to the product. These aren’t cheap, and though they’re not the most expensive or best-sounding speakers you’ll ever hear, you still want to get your money’s worth.

We’ve tested over 65 Bluetooth speakers, and below you’ll find our recommendations for the best Bluetooth speakers under $100. See also our recommendations for the best Bluetooth speakers, the best waterproof Bluetooth speakers, and the best cheap speakers.

JBL Flip 4

JBL has remained consistent with its Flip series, standing as our pick among the best Bluetooth speakers under $100. The Flip 4 is very similar to the previous model (the JBL Flip 3), but it makes improvements in a few key areas. This speaker has an IPX7 rating so you can submerge it to one-meter depths for 30 minutes. Though, we’re not sure why you’d want to. Still, it’s good to know that if you drop it in the pool, you have some time before you have to go rescue it. Another positive is that the new Connect+ button lets you connect this speaker with up to 100 others to play music in sync. Unfortunately, this feature isn’t backward compatible with previous versions. If you have a JBL Flip 3 and were going to double up with the new Flip 4, you’re out of luck. Battery life is reported to be 12 hours with volume levels at 50%, but if you play music on max volume, you shouldn’t expect to get more than four — maybe five — hours out of it.

JBL Flip 5

Some say that the JBL Flip 5 is the king of affordable Bluetooth speakers. I find it hard to argue with those statements since this tiny gadget pretty much caters to any audiophile on a budget. Even snobby audiophiles have been known to feel surprised by the sound quality when they heard it for the first time.

The speaker has an output of 20W. That’s more than impressive for its size and price. Obviously, you get that unique JBL signature sound that has set a high standard in the music industry for decades. The battery is beefier than ever at a whopping 4,800 mAh.

You can connect the speaker to two devices simultaneously (smartphones, tablets, etc.). This allows you to play music of different playlists and make sure that everyone’s entertained. Although the speaker does a good job of balancing the frequency spectrum and can be easily used as a cheap alternative to gaming headsets, the device truly shines in the great outdoors.

Why should you take it outside to get your money’s worth? — The Flip 5 has an IPX7 waterproof rating. If you’re no stranger to camping and survival equipment, then you know just how overkill this is.

But not all the money goes towards ensuring durability. The speaker can give you around 12 hours of playtime, which is very good considering all the other features. You also get compatibility with over 100 other JBL speakers if you want to amplify the sound even further. You also get a USB-C fast charging port now.

Last but not least, in terms of portability and style, you can’t ask for more. The end caps are now covered, which adds more durability and makes the unit look sleeker. And, at 7.1” x 2.7” small, you can’t really be concerned with carrying or placing the speaker anywhere.

Tronsmart Force

Tronsmart may not be at the top of anyone’s list of audio equipment manufacturers but the Force speaker proves that brand names may not matter as much with these speakers (perhaps because there’s one country in the world that can manufacture stuff for less than all other countries).

The Tronsmart Force is a 40W speaker that comes with IPX7 waterproofing, voice assistant support, and amazing bass definition. The speaker has three preset modes which allow you to experience music just the way you want it.

If you’re all about that bass then the Extra Bass mode is for you. The low frequency definition really belies the size of the speaker. The 3D surround sound mode is another interesting choice that manages to bring some much-needed depth to the standard sound of outdoor speakers.

The speaker can also support a wide range of file formats including Flac, WAV, APE, and more. You can pair the speaker to your smartphone via Bluetooth or a standard 3.5mm cable connector.

This speaker also has a long-lasting battery. At 50% volume, you should be able to get up to 15 hours of playtime between charges.

The built-in microphone is something that I always appreciate in Bluetooth speakers. And, the compatibility with most smartphone voice assistants certainly adds a level of convenience to the device.

Last but not least, you can connect two Tronsmart Force speakers together to make a pair of stereo speakers. Besides the stereo imaging and soundstage, this should enhance the 3D equalizer mode even further and let you play even louder.

Anker Soundcore Flare

Anker has a long-standing tradition of delivering quality affordable audio equipment. The Soundcore Bluetooth speaker has been listed on many “best of” lists before and it doesn’t look like it’s going to start losing popularity anytime soon.

The speaker is loaded with features. The dual drivers are positioned in a back-to-back design. This allows a wider sound projection and a better delivery of surround sound effect. The passive bass radiators further enhance the audio by giving it much needed richness and warmth.

Pairing is available and even though it can only pair with another speaker, this is always a nice feature in Bluetooth speakers. You can enhance the audio quality, boost the volume, and save battery at the same time, etc.

What’s also cool is the LED setup. If you’re old enough to miss pulsing and strobe stereos, you’ll satisfy your nostalgia with the Anker Soundcore. The speaker has various light shows to offer depending on the rhythm, and you can also customize the lighting to your liking.

Ultimate Ears WONDERBOOM 2

The best Bluetooth speaker under $100 that we’ve tested is the Ultimate Ears WONDERBOOM 2. This colorful Bluetooth speaker has a portable design, and it even has an IP67 rating for dust and water resistance, but we don’t test for this. You can pair it with up to two devices at the same time, which makes it easy to switch your audio source between your phone and your laptop.

It has balanced mid and treble ranges that can reproduce vocals and lead instruments clearly. While it struggles to reproduce low-bass, there’s an ‘Outdoor Mode’ EQ advertised to help with bass reproduction, though we don’t test for this. Thanks to its 360-degree design, it has an open and wide soundstage that can really immerse you in your favorite music.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t support voice assistants, which can be disappointing for some users. It doesn’t get very loud, and it doesn’t have a lot of sound customization options. However, if you’re looking for a more affordable Bluetooth speaker, it’s a solid choice.

How we chose the best Bluetooth speakers under $100

Our recommendations above are what we think are currently the best Bluetooth speakers under $100 for most people to buy, according to their needs. We factor in the price (cheaper speakers win over pricier ones if the difference isn’t worth it), feedback from our visitors, and availability (no speakers that are difficult to find or almost out of stock everywhere).

If you would like to choose for yourself, here’s the list of all our reviews for Bluetooth speakers under $100. Be careful not to get caught up in the details. There are no perfect speakers. Personal taste, preference, and listening habits will matter more in your selection.

Why choose DINDINMODERN

● A variety of high-quality Bluetooth speakers are available. ● Delivery from the local warehouse, within 3 days. ● Manufactured in our own factory, cost-effective. ● Excellent pre-sales and after-sales service. ● Free returns ● Excellent materials, safe and durable. ● Pursue innovation and optimize design ● We listen to customer needs and feedback.

[thesinglesjukebox]

KESHA FT. BIG FREEDIA - RAISING HELL

[6.38]

Kesha with Big Freedia Energy

Leah Isobel: Kesha has been saddled with one of the heaviest narratives of 2010s pop music, which combines uneasily with her career-long interest in more grounded country and rock signifiers. Now when she works with those impulses, as she did on Rainbow, the effect is one of refutation; Animal becomes an outlier that she made against her will, one that doesn't represent the Real Kesha. To work her way back to the party music that made her reputation, she has to adapt it to the new narrative frame that surrounds everything she does. If she's having fun, she's having fun in spite of what she experienced; partying is no longer an end into itself, but an escape from something else. Hence, "Raising Hell" deploys one of the hackiest pop tropes - gospel choirs used as a shortcut for sincere emotion - married to a pretty decent Big Freedia drop. It's not awful, but I miss the actual, honest-to-god trashiness that she made her stock in trade. In 2019, I guess I'm the only one. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: Finally, an uptempo Kesha record that a) isn't touched by the evil Dr. Luke, and b) doesn't sound like the result of a three-day vodka-and-Red Bull bender, and c) is actually fun. I'm not a fan of the EDM horns in the chorus, but apart from those, this works. I'm a bigger fan of Big Freedia in theory than practice, and accordingly prefer her in small doses; she's quite effective here as a kind of DJ Khaled-esque hype-person. And Kesha sounds free and happy, which makes me happy. [7]

Kayla Beardslee: I'm glad Kesha got her balls back and all, but I'm not enthused that that means a return to honking 2012 pop-drops. I will admit, though -- the combined Kesha/Freedia "drop it down low" hook grows on me with every listen. The rest of the song is fine: it invites singing along and is fun in a hedonistic Ke$ha way, but it's also very, very noisy (lots of erratic shouts and claps in the background that, to me, lean more messy than energetic). My favorite part is the final chorus ("Can I get an amen"), which is a pleasantly melodic contrast to the rest of the track, a close second being the thrilling "aaugh!" Kesha does right before the second chorus. [6]

Alex Clifton: High Road appears to take the party-all-day spirit from Kesha's earlier work but mixed with the rawer, more down-to-earth material from Rainbow. In theory this is a dream come true, and there's so much about "Raising Hell" that makes it a joy to experience. The post-chorus is godawful, though. Tonally it doesn't fit and stalls the song from its natural flow. I'm also longing for the day that Big Freedia gets the feature she deserves: her appearance is mostly limited to drop-it-drop-it-drop-it-drop-it which is delivered well but also literally one-note. Kesha's trying to have it all ways she can--country and gospel and dance and bounce--which, as someone who likes a good genreproof song, I really respect. Unfortunately the whole package doesn't come together as fully as it could. [6]

Stephen Eisermann: "The best possible Andy Grammer single" is not what Kesha and Big Freedia should be collaborating on. This is a waste of time and talent and no amount of conviction from either participant can convince me otherwise. [4]

Alfred Soto: This sounds sacrilegious: instead of defiling a religion, it defiles my idea of Kesha. After proving herself up to thumbing her nose at any genre she experimented with, she acquiesces to gospel cliches. She's earned the right to want salvation in them, lord knows, but she needn't sound as if Julia Michaels was her pastor. [4]

Josh Buck: How do you have a hook like "I don't wanna go to heaven without raising hell" and video centered around prosperity gospel preachers and NOT make it a country song?? At this point, Kesha has proven that she can tackle a variety of genres, but this bounce effort just feels scattered instead of celebratory. I realize this a loaded statement and not at all meant to be a defense or endorsement of the man, but judging by Kim Petras' endless recent string of bangers, Dr. Luke may have been an irreplaceable ingredient in Kesha's more crowd pleasing, debauched pop efforts. In recent years, she's sound much stronger on her Struts and Eagles of Death Metal rock cuts, and i'd love to see her spend more time in that arena. This one reminds me a bit of the final album by The Donnas in terms of we-might-be-too-old-for-this vibes. [3]

Katherine St Asaph: The narrative, inevitable and damning, around Kesha was that in severing her ties to Dr. Luke, she lost her source of a signature sound. Rainbow, with its grabs at musical styles and Kesha's required-for-optics but personality-dampening show of penitence, didn't do much to dislodge it. Which is why "Raising Hell" is such a triumph: it's evidence that she was the source of her signature sound. The song feels massive; if sound alone determines a hit, this would be No. 1 everywhere. The hook is recognizably hers: a melody that's kin to "We R Who We R" and also to hymns. The drops r what they r; the interpolations are canny and nostalgia: an interlude of "My Neck, My Back" filtered through "Hollaback Girl," an interlude of preaching filtered through Prince. Freedia is incapable of sounding like she's phoning it in even when she is (I'm sure she'll do a lot of that in the next few years), and unlike Iggy Pop or the Eagles of Death Metal, she's an actually exciting guest pick, rather than one mostly exciting on paper to boomers. And throughout, Kesha recaptures the anarchic glee that made her career. [8]

Jonathan Bogart: Maybe it was my naïveté in 2010 that made her sound so recklessly out of step with the rest of pop; but her post-Luke music, however much better it has been for her soul, still sounds faintly like capitulation. The secular-gospel structure and chantalong melody followed by jump around breakdowns sound like every pseudo-celebration on the market: the saving grace is Freedia's booming authoritativeness (surely the angel Gabriel, when he tells the roll up yonder to drop it down low, sounds like her) and Kesha's impish use of language, dancing on the borders between sacrilege and piety, hooks it up to the great stream of American song, where there is no Sunday morning without a Saturday night. [8]

Kylo Nocom: Of all things, this reminds me of Vacation Bible School theme songs and the "Cheerleader" remix. I have scored this accordingly. [7]

Michael Hong: The bombast of early 2010s Ke$ha meets the soulful Kesha of Rainbow racing down that same road to self-empowerment. Ke$ha's talk-singing, a choir that makes a line like "bitch, I'm blessed" all the more enjoyable, drops mixed with the gospel influences, and Big Freedia's bounce make for a hell of a maximalist fantasy. [7]

Jackie Powell: When "Raising Hell" begins, it fools the listener. When the piano chords and Kesha's introductory vocalization grace my ears during the song's first five seconds, I'm convinced that a power ballad or at best a mid-tempo track is in store. But Kesha quickly changes direction. An explosion of camp from collaborator Big Freedia, a blaring saxophone in the chorus, the return of talk-singing in the verses and an epic build in the pre-chorus: it sounds very familiar. That's what Kesha wants. She wants us to feel like we are once again at a 21-century hoedown. (But without Pitbull this time.) On this track, Kesha proves that both she and her fans can be "animals" while simultaneously being people with "fantastic souls", which might have been something missing from the pre-Rainbow eras. Here, however, Kesha desires fun and a rebellion that are a rejection of evil behavior and suffocating authority figures. She's not just sticking it to the man without a purpose. That's the difference between Kesha of 2019 and Ke$ha of 2009. "Kesha got her balls back and they're bigger than ever," she said in the album trailer for High Road. But I don't agree with that. She's had them since her inception. Her evolution has been honest, which is something that not all artists can say. [7]

Isabel Cole: MY! GIRL! Having proven herself an actual musician to every idiot man in the country, Kesha (perhaps sick of being so serious) gleefully returns to her favorite stomping ground of, well, glee. Raising Hell makes text what has always been the implicit mission of the Kesha project: a commitment to the fundamental sacredness of joy. It's hard to imagine a more succinct encapsulation of her ethos than "I'm all fucked up in my Sunday best / no walk of shame cuz I love this dress": it's not that she takes no pleasure in the transgression of elevating ass-shaking to the level of the divine, but it's a gentle mischief born of the deep belief in the holiness of enjoying our corporeal gifts while we still can. Feeling good is a form of worship, and a killer beat is no less legitimate an access point than a hymn. When she combines markers of religiosity with artifacts of base delights (my favorite is "Solo cup full of holy spirits," although I also adore the the vulgarity of "bounce it up and down where the good Lord split it"), the point is not to revel in contradiction but to toast to the fact that there is no contradiction; and when she opens her scope in the coda, dedicating her preaching or perhaps this round of shots to the misfits of creation, there's a (frankly Piscean) generosity to it. Also, (1) it slaps (2) biiiiiiiiiiiiiitch I'm blessed (3) her voice sounds just wonderful, as dextrous with an implicit smirk as ever and with a thrilling power on the places she gets to soar; I love the bit of grit we get in the chorus, like she's singing this after a night out (4) it FUCKING slaps (5) "I'm still here still, still bringing it to ya": ten years since TiK ToK this month, and the party still don't start till she walks in. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[yespoetry]

An Interview with Joshua Byron & Chariot Birthday Wish on Queerness and Art

By Joshua Byron & Chariot Birthday Wish

Editor’s Note: grammar and punctuation aesthetic have been largely preserved for authenticity and tone.

Joshua: We are chatting and checking in with each other on the 4th of July, a honeysuckled day of nostalgia, dogmatism, and fear. I recently began releasing a webseries Trans Monogamist with Alfredo Franco and Artless Media and Chariot Birthday Wish recently released his new book of poetry, hot pearl. 

J: How is the weather in Philadelphia- if that's where you are now; it's so hot here in New York. I was invited to a million things but part of me just wants to try and drink some iced coffee and lay down and watch a Derek Jarman movie or something. Perform that kind of tired queerness. 

I wanted to talk about your poetry, and your latest work, and also how your work maybe functions as haiku. I was reading Barthes on haiku recently who idolized haiku as a sort of perfect form. The perfect image, something that collapses time inward. And that makes me think of your work- a collapsed inward image. But also like, fun and bubbly. Effervescent. 

C: It’s hot in, sticky in philadelphia, i am currently home now. were in the humid thunderstorm loop here but i dont think a storm is going to break for another few days. im going to go smoke weed on mikayla’s roof later today, other then that i've been playing katamari and drinking ice water while drawing all day.

people mention haiku to me a lot, because i write small, few word poems, with a focus on natural imagery. I honestly don’t read much haiku, and wouldn’t site it as a direct source of inspiration, or say that ive studied the form. i do think my work resonates with a similar drive and spirit of haiku though, and i hold a dear reverence for the form.

i love that quote “the perfect image” and “something that collapses time inward” my intent of form for writing poems is absolutely trying to expand a space, a moment, an emotion, memory, as wide and deep as possible with as few words as i possibly can. i really focus a lot on creating complete and whole worlds inside my poems, but its subtle because they are such small poems. my work has a lot of play in it, i think my tone of voice always has an air of play to it. 

J: I think for me I think of the succinctness of your work, more so than scale. Sometimes your work even if it isn't about apocalypse, feels very tied to that, the event, the feeling, the fear, the expression of it and often I think your work has mechanical feelings in it, these references to the Matrix or like using human concepts in regards to natural things. I think a lot of some of your work that lists desires and those desires bend to human concepts, not natural ones. 

I think that the bubbling of your work feels like it could go on forever, like how do you decide to end a poem or even a collection? In hot pearl or hell ship or i love you, here's a gigantic worm? 

C: yes ! i think most of my work, comes from a place of constant consideration of apocalypse. And consideration of technology ! ive always been really inspired by and into sci-fi, cyberpunk ie: the matrix.  i love to reference technology for sure. interweaving technology into nature and natural images, one function of that for me is about desire. desire for connection, for access. i think about texting my friends from the middle of the woods, and the simultaneous understanding of the link to earth + self, emotionally and also physically! But I also do think that technology and mechanics are a part of nature, and “the natural world.”

humans are a part of nature and we created these things. there’s this Bjork quote where she says that “You can use pro tools and still be pagan”. I’m really into the idea of using technology as tools of divination and holy connection with nature. I imagine a scene; being in moss, it’s absolute bliss, and then the connection of texting, sharing an image of moss with a friend, sharing that moment through cellular towers, and then that sneaking sense of apocalypse like earth Is going to melt.

and knowing that those moments of sharing and experiencing the absolute magic and heavenly nature of is not going to be possible anymore because humans are melting earth. I’m trying to hold all of these goods things weighted with that, the frantic fear of losing something so special. Its very cyberpunk to me. and then yeah !!!! its driven by desire!  if i think of it now, a have a lot of poems that say “i want”i want so much... 

with books, I usually decide on a number of pages first its very straight forward. im like okay this book is going to be 20 pages or 100 pages. with poems, if i read it and i have my emotions and vision echoed back to me, then its done ! I try to make myself cry, and I am always trying to write what I think is the perfect poem. i do try to spend a collective hour editing each poem, but usually i just know when its done. Not to be obtuse. 

J: How do you think desire plays a role in the work that you do? 

Your work has such striking images - things I think are (I hate this word) but striking and original. I'm thinking of even the word "hell ship" for instance or "hot pearl," the fag poem, "superintendent of the golf course," "my flowering boyhouse," and the specificity of the "i want.”

The images feel free from societal cliches and expectations, like a weaving of a fantasy world. I don't know if I have a question, I mostly just wanted to say that. It seems just very sprung from your mind, very specific. It's not that there aren't poetic traditions that predate or intertwine with yours, but I think in some ways it feels very Greek (Sappho, perhaps?) in its directness, in its wink, in its boldness.

I also wanted to hear you speak on the fag poem, it feels so essential and tears me apart. 

C: i love to meditate on the feeling of desire, and feel desire. i also think that the reason i make art comes from a similar part in my emotional body as my desire. its an expression of that desire, as well as a manifestation of desire, i really long to create art and i love to make art about desire. its such a full and intricate emotion.

Recently I read a definition of “eros” as the opposite of “death wish” the antithesis of the call of the void, that eros is an absolute will to live and desire to experience. That’s the well of desire I channel my creativity through. which i think relates a lot to your mention of sappho. i read a lot of sappho, her voice and her form (specifically too how we just have fragments of her poems, and what that does to the form of her work) has something that i draw a lot of inspiration from. absolutely the way she, and other translations of greek text (ive been reading the iliad for 2 years).  

i do also 100% imagine all of my poetry to take place in a specific and complete realm, in a fantasy world. that idea, of creating a whole separate place, lexicon, and memeplex was one of my first visions and drives as a poet.

the fag poem: i also started it with wanting to write "a fag anthem" which is not usually how i write poems, with a specific thesis for the poem. its an ode to faggots, a faggot declaration, but one from a place of reclamation driven by pain. 

J: How do phones play a role in your life or your poetry? Your poems do include references to downloading pics of horses, or texting in the woods, or just texting or staring even. but i also wonder about the idea of writing on phones and what that means poetically and structurally. 

What is your relationship to social media and Instagram? it mystifies me! you have a following and i wonder how that feels and how that is tied up in art-making, glo worm, distribution, and if it matters to you or if you have any feelings of community or fracture over how the internet works? In regards to the above, what are your thoughts on looks, or pulling looks? The politics, the aesthetics, the joys of looks? Are you pro look? Anti-look? 

C: its a little trick of mine to add a reference to a phone in a poem. i think that phones are so intimate. i have an intimate relationship to my phone, and theyre magically little devices. i try to capture that magic when referencing "downloading pictures of horses" or looking at pictures of birds on your phone. thats also tied to apocalypse though, sometimes im writing from a space of thinking about animal extinction, when certain animals are gone and but we still have access to photos of them on the archive of the internet. our phones being a connection to that archive. 

i love social media. i love connection ! im def in the camp of holding closer to the positives of social media, outside of my paranoia about facebook and the surveillance state and like, influencers, etc. i just want to share my art with people and reach people. it feels good to be connected with people who like my art and to be an artist. i can unpack that for hours though.

There are times when being seen, and watched by a following is overwhelming. I think there can be a tendency for people to view you just as the single dimension of what they see online. I def have an online persona, and have built an image, altho thats also complicated and confusing because that image and persona is not a lie, just a crystallization of parts of myself. but I don’t really concern myself too much with that anymore. People can see me how they want. I am highly protective of parts of myself and my life 

i love looks. i got into art as a kid because i wanted to be a fashion designer. as a transsexual gay faggot virgo born the week of beauty, aesthetics are very important to me ! in that, the play and fantasy of looks are important to me. i do believe that aesthetics are empty. especially in this year of 2019. and i think holding that in mind can create buoyancy for the play of looks, of pulling a look. its about fantasy and expression. i also find power in it. recently to combat my social anxiety, ill wear elf ears to non-costume events, as it subverts my paranoia of being stared at for being a fag freak. i like giving people a reason to stare at me, a fag freak. 

J: Tell me about your influences. Who gives you visions? Tell me about the knife? tell me about Keanu Reeves, the Matrix, and your celebrity icons?

C: Techno music gives me visions, the ocean gives me visions, the forest, the planets give me visions. Bjork gives me visions, Bruce Springsteen, Gregg Araki, Wong Kar Wei, Anohni, Greek mythology, Faggots and their Friends Between Revolutions, Kazuko Shiraishi, the color red, the color blue, Cocteau Twins, dream pop, pop music, Brokeback Mountain.

to me, the knife, is a perfect vision of pop +freakdom + communism + mysticism. Its apocalyptic gay communist dance music, deeply mystic lyrics. it's everything I search for in art in one project, I cannot believe the knife.

the Matrix, simply to me, is about following your destiny. to me it's about actualizing the godly calling, your godly calling, your vision for yourself. it's so virgo, bringing together the celestial and the earth. 

Keanu is just so beautiful; i think it's a trans guy thing. me and him have very similar birth charts. i love my playful relationship with celebrity icons. i feel tepid to "stan" people and celebrities. Icons are false, kill your idols, blah blah blah. but its a gay thing also to have icons, and its a part of that fantasy. 

J: Talk more about elf ears and giving people a reason to look at you?

C: id just rather give people something truly freaky to look out, rather than just the spectacle of my visibly trans body. its a transsexual thing for me for sure, or like informed by my medicalized trans body, modifying my body, fantasy cyborg, morphing my tool (my body)!

J: Are there any other body mods that really seem exciting? 

Did you have a spiritual upbringing or have any spiritual practices now?

What does healing the earth look like to you?

What does healing self and community look like to you?

C: i love getting pierced recently..also obviously tattoos, as a tattoo artist and someone who gets tattoos. if they knew how to dick surgery good i would do that. maybe someday theyll get it. im getting top surgery this year.

i was loosely raised catholic. i do candle magic and ritualistic intention setting.

full ! communist ! revolution now ! fully paid reparations ! returning stolen land back to its people ! and high tech cleaning of the oceans, permaculture, rebuilding of the rainforests. returning Nikola Tesla’s ideas and designs back to the people. 

community looks like responsibility. I’ve been thinking recently about how self healing happens with community healing, and when you put your time and heart into community, it heals your heart. I think we’re deep in a culture of individualistic healing, and it’s alienating. Workers of the world unite.

Chariot: what is your relationship to fantasy ? idle cosmopolitan, your first mini series, is full of ghosts, tarot readings, an alternate world. it felt like it was brushing against a suggestion of magic, also the way time + space is expressed in the series, it has a morphing quality. trans monogamist doesn't really carry those themes through, besides the astral projection class ( a little hint at the magic”  is there still fantasy in this second work ? 

J:  I think for me I don't see Idle Cosmopolitan as that fantastical; how hard is it to believe a world with spirits of some kind? Even if they aren't expressed the way they are expressed in fantasy novels or TV. The everydayness of magic. For me, fantasy is similar to queerness in that it means possibility. Hope. Optimism through pain. Most fantasy is born through quests and pain, the classic Arthurian tale.

I think for me, that's the root of it. I read so much fantasy when I was kid. I was obsessed with Arthurian lore, castles, Pokemon, Digimon, the Green Knight, all of it. I think that Trans Monogamist is fantastical in some ways, I've heard Broad City described as a fantastical NYC, as has SATC and almost any show about people in NYC. So in that sense, yeah. Where every corner has people to date. And of course, while I do exist as a NB Carrie Bradshaw in real life, that concept is a sort of fantasy of its own. 

C: What’s your relationship to technology and that aspect of film-making? 

J: Technology worries me. I read Carceral Capitalism last summer and felt worried, as always, by the rise of surveillance and predictive policing. I think I understand why some people chose paths of craft over content, but I also don't think it's always a strict binary.

But to be fair, at a certain point you can often only know so much about one or the other. You can focus on learning more and more about craft and technology and lenses or you can focus on plot, characters, drama... Or you can do both! I just don't know that many people who end up able to do both. It's a lot of effort and time and money just to do that learning. I do think there are cracks for the light in technology to come forth. It's how we met! But I find myself often pessimistic about it. But I don't want to come across as a technology grump either. I can be modern occasionally. 

C: do you think you are expressing a part your self through the main characters of your work? you act as both of them, i wonder what your relationship to self portrait is? if the self insert is significant or, how is that self insert significant to you? is it that no one else could properly portrays these characters?

J: I definitely think of my work as self-portraiture. I think part of it just that I'm making work about things that I go through, I'm making work DIY, and it can be easier (and harder) to self direct. It's also, of course, cheaper, than trying to find someone else and guide them to a place you feel deeply. I think for a while I felt uncomfortable about appearing in my own work but now I"m pretty numb to it. It just sort of feels like the kind of work that I'm making now. I think it felt required. If we're thinking of the path, we're thinking of flow, it just felt like the next step in making art.

Also, for me, it's important to make work specific and not too broad. I want to talk about what my queerness, what my life is like, and I don't want to speak for someone else at all.  

C: what is your process like for writing, and editing your video work? you're a workaholic right? can you talk about that process ? your relationship to that?

J: I am such a workaholic. I mean we are doing writing work on the 4th of July!! I have three projects in different stages right now. Video work is usually much more collaborative. There's a free fall element to not having all the control. It's scary and it's also how I push myself to not be a total control freak and to push myself to be a better artist. I do believe in community and collaboration I just also have an intense drive to sort of speed through things and make and create and there's certainly an element of capitalism that has infused me with needing to DO things. It's not my best quality!

But it also is a strength. I like to create! And sometimes that urge is so strong that sometimes I do need to do things alone. I think it's important to balance collaborative work with solo work, you need outlets! So sometimes I write alone, sometimes I don't. My video work often involves at least 16 people in the cast. And Trans Monogamist was all about co writing and co starring with Alfredo Franco and having Artless Media being such a big guiding and production force. 

C: What’s your relationship to tropes and pop? 

J: I think I love tropes, astrology, SATC quizzes, all of those kinds of things. I think the boxes we fit in or don't fit in both do and don't speak about our personhood. Sometimes we put too much stock into them, sometimes too little.

Queer tropes of course are such a fundamental part of online queer culture and also can be so toxic but also very healing! I think the way queer culture fractures and floats online definitely influences my work, but I try to engage playfully. There are things in queer online culture I feel serious about- in terms of supporting funds that support black trans woman or fundraisers for surgeries. But in terms of other queer iconographies and categories I try to just absorb and play. I think little of my online presence has to do with replicating those memes or ideas.

If anything it's about crafting my own identity that picks apart at random things like Carrie, an occasional look. Trans Monogamist definitely skates around and jokes a lot about types of gays while also recognizing that RIver is their own type of gay and while River jokes about hating gay graphic designers or art gays, River is an art gay. It's just that claiming identity feels scary to River, so they sort of dash over or around it and try and just be a person. Someone described TM as a show that tries hard to categorize people.

I don't know how I fit. I'm an art gay I guess. Nonbinary sometimes seems to be ascribed its own internet aesthetic but I don't know how i fit in that or don't. If anything I think there are certain binaries of queerness that I do identify on.

C: What trope am I?

J: You're definitely an alt-art gay as well, but on a different side of things? There's def a type of gay that does tattoos, is trans, loves communism, and cowboy imagery. 

C: right, what you said also got me thinking about tropes as language, theyre identifying words, and that shapes our understandings of ourselves and our experiences. and there is so much play i think, in queer culture between collective experience and personal experience. 

J: I think I worry a bit about the ways we seem to gravitate towards locks and keys as ways of conceptualizing identity. And yet, I do that! So who am I to say that? I think it's best to let everyone feel their identity the way they feel it, even if that's not how I feel it. Right? What does that hurt/what does it heal? It certainly heals someone else and probably doesn't hurt me, excluding hatred, of course. Plus, sometimes someone's experience or a collective's experience help us- we say that's me! or that's definitely not me! 

C: can you say more about territory? how does pop, or mass culture, bring us into territory? 

J: What's the difference between populist and popular? Is there one? Can something that's populist be destructive, can it be healing? Is liking what the people like somehow revolutionary or is it bad? Are we as a people healing bending towards justice or not? It's a tricky counter situation. Plenty of things we probably think are good are considered bad, and vice versa. so sometimes seems revolutionary and sometimes doesn't.

But it does remind me of the way Bergman is against symbolism-reading in his work, Susan Sontag's against interpretation, Patti Smith's writing about not trying to read a message into literature. I'm not sure i wholly agree, but the idea of the sign as uninterpretable or as a mirror is interesting. Of course these are also mostly people with a romantic idea of art and plenty of people believe in interpreting art and for good reason. Works can be about race, class, gender, etc., and also have images that can't be broken down. It can be both.

Joshua Byron is a nonbinary storyteller based in Brooklyn. Their work includes the webseries Trans Monogamist co-created with Alfredo Franco and Artless Media, Idle Cosmopolitan with Glo Worm Press, as well as the zine Sincere Hate. Previously they have written dating columns and lyrical essays for Bushwick Daily, the Body Is Not An Apology, Yes Poetry, and more. Their films have been screened at Sarah Lawrence College, the Indianapolis LGBT Film Festival, Secret Project Robot, and more. They love Ursula K LeGuin, rose soap, and lots of coffee.

chariot wish is an artist and angel living in philadelphia. theyve seen the matrix 28 times in 2 years and love horses.