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liliah39 · 5 years

Note

For the one shots- super fluffy wedding and honeymoon with bri? Xx

‘Till Death Do Us Part, My Love (Brian May X Reader)

Here it is!!! So proud of this. Excuse typos plzzzz~~~

Word Count: 4.7K (IKR IM SO LENGTHY)

June 21, 1980

It was a beautiful, hot summer day as you stepped into your cupcake of a wedding dress, laughing as you remembered Brian trying to guess what your dress looked like a couple weeks ago.

Liliah39 Masterlist

**3 Weeks Beforehand**

You and Brian were sitting on the couch together fantasizing of your upcoming wedding on a rainy London day. You’d just brought clarification to all the decorations and the timing of when food would be brought out at the reception. Brian never really cared to have an ornate wedding, he was fine with whatever you wanted; fine with paying for whatever you’d thought up. He just wanted to marry you. Though you felt the same way, you’d always dreamed of a fairytale wedding since you were young, so he made certain that was what you’d get. Suddenly he blurted out,

“Y/N, did you get a dress yet?”

He made you laugh hysterically.

“What? What did I say that was so funny?”

“Brian, darling. It’s three weeks before the wedding. Do you know how long it takes to get a wedding dress, and then get it altered? And that’s just for a normal dress! Freddie and I designed mine and had it specially made!”

His face went from confusion to shock. “Then where is it? Did you lose it? I can’t find it!” He blurted out.

“Brian?!” You said, standing up and looking down at him on the couch with your hands on your hips. “You’ve been looking for my dress?!?”

“I didn’t say that-” he said, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

“You just did! I can’t believe you! You can’t go looking for my wedding dress! You can’t see the bride’s dress before the wedding day! It’s bad luck! It’s immoral!”

Trying to recover his dignity, he said “I believe it’s actually that I just can’t see you in it, I just wanted to see the dress. Know what to expect, you know?”

“Oh, fuck off.” You laughed, still kind of mad at him as he pulled you into his arms.

“So, did you lose it?”

“No, Brian. I did not lose my wedding dress.” You said rolling your eyes.

“Then why can’t I find it? Why isn’t it in any of our closets?”

“To keep it away from prying eyes like yours!” You laughed, tapping his nose.

“Then where is it?”

“I’m not telling you!”

“C’mon Love, if I paid for it I at least deserve to know where it is!”

“Well… that’s the thing.”

“What’s the thing?”

“Remember how I said that Freddie helped me design my dress?”

He nodded his head.

“You, um. Well, Love. You didn’t pay for my dress.”

“Y/N, I told you you didn’t have to pay for any part of the wedding!”

“I didn’t, I swear! Freddie did!”

“Freddie bought your wedding dress?”

You nodded. “Please don’t be mad.”

“Y/N,” he laughed. “I’m not mad at all! As long as you didn’t pay for it; that’s what matters. And besides, Freddie will look out for me. He knows what I think you look good in. But God, this dress is probably the most extravagant dress the world has ever seen if Freddie helped design it and bought it.”

“Well something like that, yeah.” You said, blushing as you buried your face in his neck. You knew the dress was exactly the opposite of what he’d expect.

“Then if I had to guess, Fred probably has it somewhere in his house in some ornate closet of some sort. Am I right?”

You knew he was, so you buried your face in his neck a little more, hiding behind his hair.

“Perhaps.” You hummed in his ear.

“Can I keep guessing things about it?”

“Sure, if you really want to. I’m never going to give you any hints, though.”

“But Love, you just did. Said possibly to the dress being at Freddie’s. If it wasn’t at his place, you've said no. I know you can’t lie to me.” He smiled.

You sighed in annoyance. “Alright then, get on with your questions.”

“Okay. So, what’s the shape of it?”

“Not telling you.”

“It’s gotta be tight, right? Form fitting? If I had to guess it’s a form fitting mermaid dress with a huge train. Strapless. Loads of lace. Beading at the top.”

He was so wrong. “Now what makes you say that?”

“Sweetheart, I’ve written countless songs about you. One of them just happening to be called “Fat Bottomed Girls”. You always wear form fitting dresses to events just for that reason, since they’re my favourite. Don’t think I don’t notice those things.” He smirked.

You laughed. “Well then I guess you’ll just have to see.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to the wedding day

You’d just finished getting your enormous dress on; Freddie lacing up the back as everyone took pictures of you with your hair and makeup looking perfect. In efforts to make sure your legs weren’t killing you by the end of the day, you hadn’t put on your heels yet, so your dress was about 7 inches too long for you. You always opted to wear tall heels at fancy events to compensate for how tall Brian was. Everyone in your party had left the bridal suite for a couple minutes to give you some time to yourself as you stood on the small podium in front of three mirrors to see yourself from all angles.

In solidarity, your wedding day jitters began to set in, however imagining Brian’s face when he saw you start to walk down the aisle made you smile.

You knew he’d be shocked to say the least. He expected you in a tight, form fitting dress, yet in typical you fashion you always liked to surprise him, so you chose the exact opposite. He also didn’t know that you had two dresses; one to change into for the reception. That one was extremely risqué. Freddie designed that one completely on his own; said that it’d be the best gift he could give Brian on his wedding night.

Suddenly you heard a knock at the door. Thankfully, the door was locked so no one (aka Brian) could peek in.

“Yes?”

“Is my beautiful bride to be in there?” Brian smiled with a jiggle of the door knob.

“Yeah. Hi Bri.” You giggled.

“Come let me in, Darling.” He whined.

“Not a chance.” You laughed.

“Could you at least open the door and just stick your hand through it so I can hold your hand? I haven’t seen you all night. Missing you terribly, My Love.”

You paused. “Fine. But no peeking.”

“I promise, I promise. My eyes are closed.” He pleaded.

“Alright,” You warned, going to step off the podium. The added weight of your lengthy train weighed you down, making it difficult to move because the dress was seven inches too long without your heels on. Then, the first step you tried to take sent you falling forward, tripping on your dress and hitting the ground with a loud thud. You were immediately laughing hysterically.

“Y/N? What was that thud? Are you alright?” Brian said; worried.

You couldn’t stop laughing.

“I’m fine! I just can’t get up! There’s so much fabric!”

“Can I help you?”

“No! Get Freddie!”

“Darling, how is he going to get in if the door is locked and you can’t get up?”

“He has the key, now just go away!” You laughed, your hoop skirt flinging over your head.

“Alright. Love you too!” Brian teased as he walked away.

A minute or so later Freddie walked in with a gasp, shaking his head. “My God, Darling.” He said. “What did you do?”

~~~~~

It was that time. You’d just arrived at the outside garden and were walking up the stairs to the opening where your fairytale wedding was to take place. You held an enormous bouquet of flowers in your head, grabbing Freddie’s arm quickly before he went to walk with your bridal party to have him make sure your tiara was in place.

It was perfect.

It was all perfect.

You heard the chamber group start your cue music; Pachelbel’s Cannon. You heard everyone stand from their chairs. You climbed the last couple steps, two of your bridesmaids carrying your train behind you, helping to take the weight.

Step. One tap of your heel on the concrete slab of the walkway to the end of the isle.

Everyone’s head turned to see a heel peeking out of a plethora of fabric.

Tap.

The last step up revealed your full form, everyone in the audience let out an audible gasp, but Brian’s reaction was the best by far. Though he went through all these emotions in a matter of seconds, you noticed every single one.

At first it was shock. Then he smiled, then shocked again as the train of your dress just kept coming. And then, when the fairy lights from the trees hit your tiara, makeup, and dress just the right way, his eyes welled up with tears, wiping one away with his left eye at the vision of beauty in front of him. He was so proud he’d soon be able to call you his wife. You handed your enormous bouquet to Freddie as joined hands with Brian, your train being fanned out behind you.

“I want to kiss you right now.” He said, still choked up.

“Why?”

“You’re so beautiful. Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Definitely surprised me with this dress, but God, I wouldn’t do anything to change it. I’ve been sent an angel from Heaven.” He smiled.

When it came time for your vows, Brian started first. “I never thought I’d love someone as much as you. I’ll be completely candid, there were points I didn’t even know if I’d find someone I wanted to marry, but as soon as I met you all those years ago, I didn’t even know your name yet and I knew you were the one. Your beauty and kindness have always overcame me with happiness, and it seems like everyday you get more beautiful, and I love you even more. Now this isn’t in my note cards, but you look absolutely gorgeous, my Love. I knew you’d look stunning today, as you always do, but you’ve completely taken my breath away. I’m honestly the luckiest man in the world. I can’t wait to give you all of me, and share every single one of my possessions with you, because anything that’s mine I want to be yours too. I’ve written countless songs about you, and I know there’s more to come. You’re my muse. You’re my everything, Y/N. I love you more than all the moons and stars in the sky, forever and always, ‘till death do us part, my love.” He smiled, tears of happiness streaming down his face as he placed your ring on your finger.

You were crying a little harder than he was, all happy tears of course, just overcome with emotion. You took in a deep breath of air, let it out, and began to say your vows. “You know,” you started, voice wavering, “they really should let the bride say her vows first, cuz now I’m crying and-” you were cut off as more tears needed to escape, leaving the crowd in laughter along with Brian in front of you.

“You’ve got this.” He whispered, squeezing your hand in reassurance. One more deep breath, and you were ready to go.

You let out a huff of air. “Wow. Okay, I’m ready now.” You smiled. “God, that‘s so hard to follow, Brian. You’re the most beautifully poetic person I know. This wasn’t planned, I promise, but this really shows how similar we are. You stole my ending, Brian. I planned to end my vows with “till death do us part, my Love” too. Really just shows how we’re meant to be together.” You smiled, family and friends “aww”ing and giggling. “Well anyways, I wanted to talk about when we first met; just in case someone didn’t know and such. I was working at the record store in London, when you entered one day. It was a slow night, and I’d just finished restocking the “Sheer Heart Attack” album, so I was bound to recognize you as soon as you walked in. “How odd?” I thought. “What is Brian May doing in my store?” I thought you’d overlooked me; that I didn’t have a chance. Until I saw you looking at me, immediately playing a game with me and grabbing a record off the shelf in front of you, putting it in front of your face, and popping out in a playful manner. I’d been a fan of your music for some time, but I fell in love with you right there. Suddenly you weren’t just a guitarist. You were the man of my dreams. After talking for a bit, you bought a couple of albums, and I noticed you wrote your number on my copy of the receipt. ’Course I called you right when I got home. Luckily, you answered, and the rest is history. So basically, I never thought I had a chance with you. You seemed out of my league, darling. But as soon as I stared into those hazel eyes, I knew I had found everlasting love. I knew you were supposed to be mine, and I yours. I fell for you the moment you opened up to me, and quite honestly I never want to stop. Now, not to quote him or anything because I clearly have it written on my card here: you’ll always be my everything, Brian. I can’t wait to start a family with you, and our life together henceforth. ‘Till death do us part, my Love.” Now Brian was crying as you slipped the ring on his finger, and it was pronounced,

“I hereby pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

When your lips reunited, it was like Heaven. The crowd cheered, as you and Brian smiled into the kiss, your tears of happiness mixing on your face.

“I love you so fucking much.” He whispered, picking you up bridal style as he carried you down the aisle, your dress following behind. “God this dress weighs 100 pounds!” He laughed.

“You’re telling me!” You said, joining his lips as he set you down at a secluded park bench to spend your first moments as husband in wife in solidarity before taking wedding photos in the garden, since the reception venue was being held in the same park in a different section. “I know my dress wasn’t what you expected, but you know how I am, queen of surprises. Do you like it?”

“I’m completely enamored with it. Not what I expected at all, but much better than anything I could have thought up. The fact that you designed this is mind blowing. You look absolutely stunning. My beautiful, beautiful wife. You look like a princess.” He smiled, caressing your face.

“That’s right!” You gasped. “I get to call you my husband now!”

He laughed at your realization. “Yes, and I get to call you Mrs. May.” He smiled.

“God, I love the sound of that.” You hummed, leaning into a kiss.

The two of you sat like that for a while, realizing you only had five minutes before you had to go get pictures taken.

“You know,” you started. “After pictures I’ve got to go back to my bridal suite at the hotel in the centre of the park.”

“Why?”

“I’ve got another dress, Love.”

“Another one? They can’t possibly get much bigger than this one.”

“No, no. Not trying to one myself up in terms of size. It’s just different. Couldn’t possibly dance in this one with such a large train! You’ll absolutely love it. Freddie designed it completely. It’s his wedding gift to you.”

“I can’t wait.” He smiled.

~~~~~

After pictures, the majority of the wedding party decided to go back with you to the hotel for dress number two. Brian’s Groom’s suite was at the opposite end of the hall from yours, so your 3 closest friends who were your bridesmaids, Freddie (who managed to make himself a member of both the bride and grooms party), Roger, and John, lined the hallway between your rooms, eagerly awaiting your outfit change. It’d be Freddie’s first time seeing you in it, and he just couldn’t hold back his excitement, so he went in to help you remove your gargantuan ball gown as the hair stylist removed the bun and styled your hair into long, soft, sparkling waves with a small tiara as the makeup artist darkened your eye look and gave you a nude lip. You stepped into the risqué dress, feeling extremely confident and sexy. Freddie could hardly control his excitement, saying you looked like a “bridal sex goddess” , which of course made you laugh.

Freddie left to join the rest of the party in the hallway as you stepped from the podium with much more ease this time. Confidently opening for the door and strutting into the hallway as the wedding party hooped and hollered.

“Did I do good, or did I do good?!” Freddie exclaimed.

As you walked past Roger, he laughed in awe, pulling your shoulder to whisper in your ear, “Are you trying to give him a hard on for the night, Y/N? Embarrass him at his own wedding? Cuz with that dress it’ll sure as hell work.” He joked with you.

“Stunning. Absolutely stunning.” John added.

You put your hand on Brian’s doorknob. “You ready, Bri?” you seductively said.

“Been ready, Darling. All the excitement out there only makes me more ready.”

You started to turn the handle. “Good luck Brian!” Roger exclaimed.

“Good luck with what?” he said back through the unopened door.

No one knew how to phrase answer to his question.

“Er, good luck keeping it in your pants, we mean.” John shyly added.

You stepped into the room, Brian still turned away from you as you shut the door behind you. The wedding party rushed to the door, pressing their six ears against it to hear his reaction.

“Alright; turn around.”

“Oh my fucking God!” He exclaimed, earning a chorus of laughter from you and your nosy friends in the hall. He rushed over to you, spinning you and pulling you close to him as he placed his hands low on your curves.

“You look so fucking sexy.” He whispered in your ear. “Know you’ve only had it on for a couple minutes, but I’d take it off you now if we had time.” he smiled. He pulled back, taking in more of the dress. “God, it’s sheer and there’s a slit?!” He yelled. “Thank you so fucking much Freddie!” he said, making everyone laugh again.

~~~~~

The rest of the night was perfect. Though there were loads of other people there, the world only revolved around you and Brian that night. Your hands were always intertwined, feeding each other cake and dancing to your heart's content. Even though choosing your first dance song was one of the only parts of your wedding that you left to Brian, after he consulted you, you’d planned to dance to Your Song by Elton John. However, when the song didn’t start playing, Brian took the microphone and said,

“Now, dancing to a track would be fine for most people, but as the guitarist of Queen, I think I’ve got to do a little better.” He smirked. “C’mon boys. Get up there.”

Roger, Freddie, and John climbed up to the stage as someone brought Brian out an ear microphone and took away the handheld one.

“Ready darlings?” Freddie asked them, earning a nod from the other three, and starting his piano intro, which shocked you.

It wasn’t what you expected in the slightest. You expected to hear Freddie play Elton’s iconic piano riff, (which would have been hilarious considering Elton was sitting at a table to your left), but he started with something else. The tune was recognizable, but you could tell the four of them had rearranged the song. Brian started to dance with you to the piano intro, making you feel on top of the world.

*** play Fred Astaire’s version of The Way You Look Tonight***

And then Brian started singing.

“Someday, when I’m awfully low

When the world is cold,

I will feel a glow just thinking of you.

And the way you look tonight.”

It immediately brought tears to your eyes, so thankful you’d met him and for where you were today. You layed your head on his shoulder as he continued to serenade you, John coming in on the string bass and Roger on the drums in the second verse.

It was absolute bliss, the love of your life, your husband of only a couple hours and 3 of your closest friends serenading you. You couldn’t have asked for anything more.

At the end of the song, he grabbed your cheeks, looking into your eyes as he sang, “Just the way you look, tonight.”

Your lips connected, and the world seemed to pause. You’d never been happier in your life. Now, how does it get better than this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The reception ended around two in the morning, the two of you getting in Brian’s private jet at 2:30 AM to fly to Paris for three weeks. Your bags were already packed and loaded on the plane, and the two of you opted to stay in your wedding attire to take photos at the Eiffel Tower since the flight was just under an hour and fifteen minutes long. You and Brian slept for most of the flight so you weren’t completely exhausted when you got to Paris.

Once getting there, Brian refused to set you down, carrying you to the limo and into your honeymoon suite with a perfect view of the glimmering city and the Eiffel Tower. You quickly set your bags on the dresser and touched up your hair and makeup for photos, and hurried down to the limo to the Eiffel Tower. At first, the two of you just took in its beauty, hand in hand, smiling at each other. The photographer was rapidly taking photos, eager to get some perfect unplanned photos as well. Your dress glistened in the lights.

“It’s so beautiful.” You smiled.

“Eh, it’s alright. Not nearly as beautiful as my wife, though.” He chuckled, the two of you joining your lips, making for a perfect picture.

After taking thirty posed pictures, Brian tipped the photographer and limo driver 300 pounds, thanking them for coming out so late, and telling the limo driver he could leave so you two could spend some time together as husband and wife in such a romantic location, and that you’d be walking back to your hotel. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing your back to his chest as you rested your head back, admiring the Eiffel Tower and your first moments in true solidarity as husband and wife. You two spent a while, probably twenty minutes in silence before Brian lead you to a bench, pulling you into his lap as he said,

“I’m so lucky.”

“I think we both are.” You smiled.

“Thank you for choosing me, Y/N. Really. You have no idea how much I love you.”

You laughed.

“Brian, I think I’m the one who should be thanking you. You could’ve had any girl in London. Someone famous, someone prettier. Yet you talked to me that night. Gave an average nobody your number. Why?”

“Well yeah, I could’ve gone for all those other girls you mentioned, but none of them mattered to me. You’re the only one who’s gorgeous inside and out. Everyone always gave me a chance, even people who you’d consider “average” , yet didn’t want to continue a relationship. You’re the only one who’s stayed. And besides, I don’t need someone with all the movie premieres and designer gowns, granted I’ll buy you all the designer gowns you want, I just need you, Love.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips, closing the distance between the two of you as the two of you made out for a while, lips moving in sync perfectly. As your lips parted, you asked “Are you tired?”

He nodded. “You?”

“Yeah.” You said, getting up as he followed quickly, hooking your arm around his and joining your hands as you started the walk back to the hotel.

“So what’s now?” You asked.

“Whatever you want, Love. Maybe have some fun when we get back to the room, go to sleep, wake up late and order some room service, enjoy Paris for the next couple weeks. You know, whatever people do on their honeymoons.”

“I know, I mean what’s next for us? For our lives? We already live together. We have gifts to open when we get home, but materialistically we have all we need. I mean soon you’ll be going on tour in like what, five months? Then you’ll be recording again. The Game is released in nine days, Brian. You’re bound to leave me.”

“Well of course you can come with me, Y/N. Just like you always do. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. We can get a pet if you want to stay home. Really, whatever you want.”

“I know.” silence. “But what about our life as a couple? A family?”

“Well I want a family.” He quickly retorted.

“I know. Me too.” You smiled. “That’s what I'm getting at.” You seductively said.

“Thank god.” He sighed.

“What?”

“I thought maybe you’d want to wait a while since we just got married, but I don’t. I want a baby while we’re still young, and then maybe more, and more.” His tone became playful as he tickled your sides, the two of you stopped in the streets by a beautiful garden as you giggled.

“I just don’t want to go through it alone.” You confessed. “A baby needs its father. I’ll need it’s father too. Pregnancy is scary, especially for a first time mother. I want you to be there, Brian. I don’t just want my husband, the rockstar. I want my husband. The man I fell in love with, a father to be.”

“I know. And I’ll be there, I promise. I don’t want to miss any appointments. Whenever it is that you get pregnant, you can come with me on tour, we’ll go to appointments together and such. When it gets to the time you can’t travel anymore, you’ll go home, and I’ll come visit you at least once every week. Then the last month we’ll postpone the rest of the tour and I’ll stay with you till our baby comes, then I’ll stay with you for a while in the months after the baby comes. Then you both could come with me on tour again or whatever. The guys will understand. I honestly think they’ll be quite excited too, Love. John’s babies would have a little friend.”

“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.” You smiled. “I’m just happy to start our lives together.”

“Me too. So when do you want this baby?”

“Oh whenever. Let’s just let it happen. When Baby May comes, it comes. Let’s not plan it. Let’s just let it happen naturally. From love. I love you, Brian.”

“I love you more.” He said as you arrived at the hotel, carrying you up to the room as you made out the entire way up.

Once in your room, he feverishly pressed you against the door, passionately making out as you removed his suit jacket, unzipping your wedding dress and letting it fall to the floor as he picked you up and laid you on the bed which was covered in rose petals. As you each stripped each other, your lips never disconnected. With Brian left only in his boxers, he said, “You know, it would be pretty cool to say we made our baby on our wedding night in Paris, don’t you think?”

“Definitely would be something interesting to talk about.” You nodded.

“Then let’s make that baby.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- Ah! I’m so happy with the way this came out! it’s so cute omg I love it. It’s long! but that’s ok! i hope you all like it!!!!! Send me more asks for one shots please!

#Brian May #brian may x reader #gwilym!brian #brian may oneshot #brian may imagine #Queen #liliah39 #liliah39asks #open one shots #open queen one shots #queen band #queen x reader #roger taylor #freddie mercury #John Deacon #brian may x female reader #brian may x you

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themurphyzone · 7 years

Text

Oneshot: Platypus Onesies For All

@shit-sara-murphy-does, @thebrilliantbean, @colderthancoldest. As well as everyone else who put some some great tags to this post!

“Zonian4life is online now! Finally!” Candace exclaimed, sinking into a mound of pillows as she prepared to chat with one of her favorite Internet friends. She opened a private message box.

Canducky: Hello! What’s up 2day?

Zonian4life: Donating mom’s clothes. Said u had a platypus right?

Candace groaned at the reminder of the meatbrick. He wasn’t home at the moment, but he’d arrive soon and start shedding everywhere.

And shedding season was annoying. She was still finding blue hairs in the carpet at the foot of her bed from the last time he’d snuck in her room.

Canducky: Yes. Y????

Zonian4life: What do u think of this?

A picture popped up. Candace tapped it and zoomed in, raising an eyebrow at the existence of teal platypus onesies. It was a perfect likeness of Perry, right down to the vacant stare.

Canducky: OMG I can’t believe this exists....

Zonian4life: U likey?

Canducky: Short lived job at toy store and momming an egg kinda killed my interest for platypus suits.

Zonian4life: Oh too bad....

However, this thing was right up Phineas’ alley. He’d love being able to match Perry!

Candace couldn’t remember a time when she saw a perfect gift the moment she’d laid eyes on it. Phineas’ birthday was next week, and she had no intention of going through that whole last minute birthday thing with the left handed whatchamacallit again.

Canducky: But I think my bro would like it. His bday next week. Where 2 buy?

Zonian4life: Animal Warehouse. Got my Time Ape tee there too.

Canducky: Cool! Thank you so much!

Zonian4life: No prob. Gtg, fire on coffee table.

Canducky: kk!

Candace scrolled through the rest of the blog, giggling at the various memes Zonian4life had posted with her dog as the centerpiece. She made sure to send a few to Stacy, who would no doubt be annoyed at the meme spam and retaliate by photoshopping Candace and Jeremy’s faces into random pictures.

This time, she didn’t have to second guess herself.

Candace handed her gift to Phineas, the platypus pajamas neatly folded inside a box covered with platypus print wrapping paper (There was a high demand for everything platypi for some reason).

Phineas tore one corner, tugging to gently unravel it. Candace rolled her eyes. “It’s just wrapping paper. It’s designed to be torn up.”

He gave her a guilty grin. “You always put a lot of effort into your gifts, Candace. And Perry likes it too. I’ve never seen him so happy!”

Candace glanced down at Perry, whose vision was still as unfocused as ever. He didn’t move his tail or prance around so she couldn’t exactly tell what was ‘happy’ in platypus body language.

He unwrapped the box with only minimal tearing to the paper, tossing it aside. Then he opened it.

Candace snapped a photo on her phone the moment Phineas pulled the onesie out of the box. His face was frozen in a mixture of surprise and pent up excitement.

Ferb counted down from three on his fingers.

“This is the best birthday ever!” Phineas shouted. “We can match now, Perry! This is so cool!”

Isabella giggled. “Maybe I should get a chihuahua onesie so we’d match! What could possibly be cuter than a pair of pet owners dressing up as their loyal companions?”

“If that happened, I think Ferb and I would need an entirely new processing system for the cuteness trackers. We’d never be able to track anything if the signal from your interference alone would contain the same amount of raw wavelengths as the sun’s light energy,” Phineas replied.

Isabella relaxed, a serene expression crossing her face.

Baljeet waved his hand in front of her face. “She blanked on us!”

“Step aside, nerd,” Buford said, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. He shoved Baljeet out of the way, then snapped his fingers in front of Isabella’s face.

Nothing happened.

Buford shrugged. “Well, I tried.”

Gretchen muttered something about ‘Phineasland’ and signaled the other Fireside Girls to grab a bucket of ice cold water.

Phineas hugged Candace, the platypus onesie hanging off a shoulder. “Thanks! You know me so well!”

She ruffled his hair. “What kind of sister would I be if I didn’t?”

They stayed that way for several moments, their parents ‘awwing’ at the display of sibling affection. Then Phineas broke away. “I’m gonna try these on. Be right back!”

He rushed inside the house, Perry padding in behind him.

Ferb stared at her.

“What?” Candace protested.

His gaze didn’t waver.

“Okay, fine. I’ll buy you one too. Happy?”

Ferb gave her a thumbs up.

Canducky: Operation Platypajamas a success!

Zonian4life: Little bros love onesies who knew?

Canducky: Awesome big sisters!

“Phineas and Ferb look really good in those onesies,” Vanessa said, swiping through Candace’s photos. “They look just platypi!”

Candace shrugged. “They look the part, but they can’t act it. Regular platypi don’t do much.” Vanessa frowned at that. “What? Ever met a platypus who does more than eat and sleep?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, that’s silly. I’ll meet a platypus that does more than the basics as soon as my life isn’t one big soap opera.”

There was a knock on Vanessa’s door. “Vanessa! I made you and your friend some doonkleberry pie! I promise there isn’t a zombie apocalypse this time around!”

“Speaking of my life being one big soap opera,” Vanessa muttered. Candace giggled, which earned her a pillow to the face. “You hungry?”

“Sure. Bet it can’t beat my mom’s doonkleberry pie recipe though,” Candace said.

Vanessa opened the door a hair, then groaned. “Dad, why did you pick that apron of all things?”

“What, can’t a guy be hospitable to his guests?” Dr. Doofenshmirtz protested. “Besides, I happen to like this apron.”

“Can’t be any worse than my own dad’s Kiss the Brit apron he got at an antique show!” Candace called. “How bad can it-”

Vanessa let the door swing all the way open, and Candace flinched at the sight of the bright pink frilly apron. “See what I mean?” Vanessa asked.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz scowled as he set two slices of doonkleberry pie on a table. “Hey, you went through a pink phase too. I have pictures of that really poofy fairy princess lying around somewhere. I need to sort through those photos anyway. Maybe I can get into scrapbooking.”

Vanessa buried her face into a pillow. “See what I mean?”

Candace patted her back. “You did harp on him about the apron.”

“You joined me!” Vanessa protested. “I’m going to crawl under a rock. Alert me during the next nuclear meltdown.”

“Boy, you have a penchant for drama,” Candace said.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz laughed. “She gets it from me. Don’t give me that sour look, Vanessa. It’s true no matter how much you deny it. Wait, are those boys dressed in platypus onesies?”

Candace nodded. “My brother’s birthday was a few days ago. He was really happy to match Perry.”

He gasped. “You have a platypus named Perry?”

“Um, yes? I think he’s in one of these photos. Ah, here.” Candace showed him one that had Phineas and Ferb in their new onesies while hugging Perry. “Why? Have you seen him? I mean, he wanders off all the time so he’s bound to meet some people around town.”

He shook his head. “Must be thinking of a different platypus. The one I know doesn’t look that unfocused all the time. Strangely, his name is Perry too. Small world, right? Just out of curiosity, where did you get those onesies from?”

“Animal Warehouse,” Candace replied. “Had some really great stuff there! A friend recommended it to me.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened. “No. Oh my goodness, no.”

Dr. Doofenshmirtz seemed confused. “What? I was just thinking about going there sometime to see if they had one in my size.” There was a crash from outside. He groaned. “I’d better go see what damage Norm did to the wall this time. You’d think he’d learn to use the door properly after a while. Anyway, enjoy your pie!”

Vanessa shut the door behind him, tapping her foot as she glared at Candace. “Thanks,” she drawled.

Candace beamed at her. “You’re welcome!”

Canducky: My friend is mad that I inspired her dad to go buy a platypus onesie.

Zonian4life: Wow this onesie thing is snowballing.

Canducky: Ikr congrats we accidentally started a fashion trend!

Zonian4life: Next could we try to ‘accidentally start a fashion trend’ for Dr. Zone?

Canducky: Help me for starting one with Ducky Momo?

Zonian4life: Deal.

Phineas had a platypus onesie.

Ferb had a platypus onesie.

Heinz had a platypus onesie.

Candace didn’t have one, nor did she want one, but she inspired everyone to go purchase one so she still counted.

OWCA owned Animal Warehouse so they could appeal to animal loving consumers in order to use them as a host family later if they chose to adopt a pet.

Perry saved the pictures from the birthday party to his lair computer, looking through them one more time before heading home.

He really did have the greatest family and job in the world.

#milo murphy's law #phineas and ferb #candace flynn #vanessa doofenshmirtz #heinz doofenshmirtz #sara murphy #fanfiction #oneshot #perry the platypus #this is the power teenage girls have over the internet

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