#BECAUSE HE DOES CARE ABOUT HER. GOGHDFJD SHES AT THE TOP OF THE LIST. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skoulsons · 2 years

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“Do you give a shit about me or not?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then what are you so afraid of?”

I’m afraid of continuing my failure streak. I have a chance to not fail. I have a chance to not fail with you, after already having done so time and time again these last three months. I can stop. To leave and let you go. To put you in the hands of someone I trust, because I don’t trust myself with you. Because I will get you killed. I’ve failed at protecting your innocence. I failed at keeping that clicker completely off you. I’ve failed at keeping you from shooting a man. I failed at protecting you from Sam and I failed at shielding you from Henry. I even fail you in my dreams. I can’t save you anywhere, even in my own head. I have a chance now to stop failing. To leave you and let Tommy take care of you for a while. To do what I think is the best for both of us. For you to get away from me because I will hurt you. I will fail you. I will get you killed. And it’s something I cannot stomach, not again. So I have to leave you while I have the chance. I’m doing this for you. Because I love you. Because I give way too much of a shit about you and I can’t face Hell again. I can’t go back there, especially not with you. And I’m doing this because you deserve better. Whatever the Fireflies do with you, you’ll probably still be better off than with me. Because they’re not cursed with the shadow of death that follows them around every corner. Or even if you end up somewhere else, it’s better than with me, as much as it breaks my heart. Because I want you here with me. I want to finish our journey. I want to figure out what we’ll do after the Fireflies. I want to settle down. I want to live. I want to embrace this second chance I get with you. This new life that’s been laid out so plainly in front of me, both of us. I want to take you in stride and go and never look back. I want to be a father again, I crave it. I long for it. I want to have that life back, and I have a chance to with you. But going back there is also my fear and it’s eating me up inside. Because there will always be something, someone, who will ruin this for me. For us. And I can’t subject you to that. I can’t willingly run through the chance of pain like that with you, so I have to leave you

#she is his biggest love and his biggest fear. that commitment to her.#he wants it. he craves it. but he fears it. he fears of what it will bring. he fears what may happen to her.#but he just loves her so much #mmm refer back to this when I cover ranch argument completely??#NOT TO ALSO MENTION HOW QUICK HE SAYS OF COURSE I DO. HE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS GOING TO ASK #AND HE HAD HIS RESPONSE READY IN AN INSTANT.#BECAUSE HE DOES CARE ABOUT HER. GOGHDFJD SHES AT THE TOP OF THE LIST.#AND HE DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS SO INTEGRAL TO WHO HE IS.#he loves her so much im going to lick the bottom of my sneakers.#the last of us hbo #ellie williams #tlou spoilers #joel miller

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