#AND HE DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS SO INTEGRAL TO WHO HE IS.

[skoulsons]

“Do you give a shit about me or not?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then what are you so afraid of?”

I’m afraid of continuing my failure streak. I have a chance to not fail. I have a chance to not fail with you, after already having done so time and time again these last three months. I can stop. To leave and let you go. To put you in the hands of someone I trust, because I don’t trust myself with you. Because I will get you killed. I’ve failed at protecting your innocence. I failed at keeping that clicker completely off you. I’ve failed at keeping you from shooting a man. I failed at protecting you from Sam and I failed at shielding you from Henry. I even fail you in my dreams. I can’t save you anywhere, even in my own head. I have a chance now to stop failing. To leave you and let Tommy take care of you for a while. To do what I think is the best for both of us. For you to get away from me because I will hurt you. I will fail you. I will get you killed. And it’s something I cannot stomach, not again. So I have to leave you while I have the chance. I’m doing this for you. Because I love you. Because I give way too much of a shit about you and I can’t face Hell again. I can’t go back there, especially not with you. And I’m doing this because you deserve better. Whatever the Fireflies do with you, you’ll probably still be better off than with me. Because they’re not cursed with the shadow of death that follows them around every corner. Or even if you end up somewhere else, it’s better than with me, as much as it breaks my heart. Because I want you here with me. I want to finish our journey. I want to figure out what we’ll do after the Fireflies. I want to settle down. I want to live. I want to embrace this second chance I get with you. This new life that’s been laid out so plainly in front of me, both of us. I want to take you in stride and go and never look back. I want to be a father again, I crave it. I long for it. I want to have that life back, and I have a chance to with you. But going back there is also my fear and it’s eating me up inside. Because there will always be something, someone, who will ruin this for me. For us. And I can’t subject you to that. I can’t willingly run through the chance of pain like that with you, so I have to leave you

[kkbardd]

so uhh i got summoned to asurei court, if anyone's interested in my testimony papers, theyre down below the cut. (aka my whole take on how i believe their dynamic would develop in cannon)

asurei isn’t for everyone & its whole point is unhealthy dependence.. toxic yuri if u will.. anything resembling a healthy relationship would only be in one of the alt universes created by the 3rd impact 💀 rei and asuka both have what the other wants (whether it be the worth asuka puts on recognition of piloting skills or rei's desire to break from mindless obedience like asuka seems to do so easily.) They both hate and admire each other for this, and asuka specifically expresses this by lashing out at rei. asuka's whole relationship w lesbian comphet plays a HUGE role into all of this but let’s gloss over it for the time being. (now, with asurei u gotta get a bit delusional cuz cannon doesn’t give us much so from here on out is just my opinion on how it'd play out.)

in terms of rei's POV in this:

rei hates the attention they gets from men, and is especially disgusted by gendo's fake kindness. he sees rei as a replaceable doll and pushes yui's image on them. gendo has never actually seen rei for who they really are, and rei later begins to hate and despise not only gendo but themselves too. in the anime, rei is shown to have self destructive tendencies & suicidal ideation because not only are they constantly being replaced & having their memory wiped, but each time they forget any sort of emotion that they learn in the meantime. recall the scene in which rei, right after being "revived" and left with no memory, sees gendo's glasses. although they cant remember anything, its hinted that their "soul" still remembers and hates him. rei tries to break the glasses but in the end, they’re still unable to defy and break free from their situation. feeling frustrated and helpless, rei starts crying & remarks how this should be the first time they've experienced it but somehow it feels like its not. back to the present, reis acting very reckless in battle and basically using themselves as a meat shield. they're so full of self-hate, and seeing asuka's obvious inferiority to them just upsets them even more. why does she put so much worth on the one thing that acts like a plague to them? compared to these pointless test results on a screen, asuka has something so much more valuable. the ability to think for themselves, to not be someone's doll. asuka's inferiority is almost insulting. rei verbally lashes out at asuka in the elevator, showing defiance that they never knew they could produce. it felt almost liberating. they find that being around asuka gives them emotions that they've always longed for, no matter how ugly they may be. they soon find themselves seeking asuka out, and the inferiority that was once insulting became a means to control and keep her close. asuka, someone who was seemingly invincible and can roam free without care, has one weakness that causes her to crack and shatter from the slightest touch. and that weakness is none other than rei themselves. rei becomes possessive in a way that they've never known possible. so much so that a part of them starts to hate themselves, fearing they've become just like their abuser gendo. nonetheless, rei begins to value their life more. they become deathly afraid of dying & being replaced by some mindless clone that has forgotten everything they now know about asuka and themself.

now what is asuka doing in all of this?

asuka deals with a lot of comphet and its an integral part of her character, so much so that it doesn’t seem right to not mention it. but to quickly summarize, because of this she has a love-hate relationship with attention from men. she feels disgusted by it but gets extremely jealous when it seems like another girl might replace her. then comes rei. (now what most ppl don’t seem to notice is asuka didnt start off hating rei, she tried to be friends but ever since the beginning misato has ALWYAYS pitted them against each other. this of course led asuka to feeling threatened & seeing rei as an enemy. especially since it involves piloting ability, something that asuka sees as her whole point of living.) she begins to hate her because how can someone who is so good at piloting be so brainless and doll-like. that’s exactly what asuka was trying so hard to not become! in this aspect, rei's entire existence defies what asuka has tried so hard to believe in up to this point. her hate & inferiority towards rei is only made worse when she sees that they're not only being objectified by men, but are seemingly unbothered by it unlike asuka. rei is now constantly on her mind, and asuka starts to realize that what she's feeling towards them isn’t just hate. its around the time of the elevator scene that these confusing emotions and inferiorities are at their peak. right after this, asuka goes into battle & is ordered to be rei's backup. she defies this order but receives a mental attack from an angel that causes her to re-live all of her trauma & comphet issues. the person that saved her from this is none other than rei. at this point asuka is at an all-time low, and states that she'd rather be left for dead than saved by someone like rei. she’s still confused by her feelings towards rei, but right now her hatred and insecurity is taking priority. its right after this battle that her synchro rates plummet and she loses the #1 thing she based her life worth on. she then goes out to die in an abandoned building but is eventually retrieved by NERV. I believe that during this time alone, she’s also wallowing in her feelings for rei and coming to terms with a lot of comphet stuff, especially after that psychological attack. right after this the world like ends or whatever but lets forget that for now & extend time cuz the gays need it 🥰 .

rei and asuka at this point realize their feelings in one way or another, and there's a lot of tension in their conversations. asuka is at a very fragile point rn bc of all the stuff that just went on, and rei is unsure how to go about things, half due to their inexperience & half due to their fear of becoming like gendo. however, asuka realizes rei is acting different from before, and advances on them as a way of lashing out. but to her surprise rei is undefiant and actually willingly helpless in her hands. she feels a rush of superiority and is amused by how inexperienced rei is. she also realizes that unlike her previous experiences with men (like when she tried to kiss shinji but didnt want to see, smell, taste, or even feel it & had a mental breakdown afterwards lol ) she actually likes it!? the romantic/sexual affirmation that asuka has always wanted from men like kaji is being fulfilled by rei in a way that asuka feels completely in control & comfortable. she's not forcing herself or being objectified, but rather is taking the lead. this is something she never imagined possible before. and all of this is with rei to boot! the rei that, in asuka's eyes, has always looked down on her and been unobtainable is now melting in her hands like putty. there’s a sense of accomplishment she feels, which makes her want to push rei even more. she finally has authority and to make herself feel better, she takes it out on rei through advances like this. she goes further and further, and in an ironic way, uses intimacy as a form of self-harm. she feels shame and despises herself for doing such things with ill-intent, and with another woman at that. its a toxic relationship that tries to fill the hole in her heart, but only leads to a bigger one forming.

when asuka first advanced onto rei, they felt something unlike anything before. unlike when gendo would often touch their shoulder, rei didnt recoil from asuka's touch. rei also felt something similar to asuka, in that the person who always seemed unbound by anything in now giving them her undivided attention. the fact that this came from an act of anger didnt really bother rei, since they knew from the beginning that was one of the only ways to get asuka to even spare them a glance. rei would gladly become hated if it meant binding asuka to them. in a mix of touch-starvedness & unhealthy dependency on asuka, rei kept looking forward to any interacting with asuka, since it was what really made them feel alive. asuka slowly becomes rei's world and meaning for living, but they eventually realize that causes a great insecurity. asuka is independent and can go anywhere she wants if she feels like it. from rei's pov, asuka desperately wants attention from men, something that rei could never give her. rei's afraid that asuka will leave them, & to tie asuka down they play the role of a villain. rei keeps asuka feeling insecure by becoming what asuka envisioned them as, and slowly starts hacking away at asuka's Achille's heel. rei desperately uses the short time that asuka has given them to engrain themself into her, so much so that asuka would be nothing without them. rei cannot let asuka realize her worth for fear that she would leave them. rei notices that asuka enjoys seeing them helpless and plays the part, almost like a honeytrap. slowly tho I believe that rei starts to take control of the relationship in hopes of making asuka dependent on them.

Asurei is in no way a wholesome relationship, and ik that’s not for everyone.. my vision of a happy end for them would be both of them becoming comfortable in their relationship and finding that the actions they once used to express hatred for themselves and each other is now slowly becoming fueled by love and desire for each other. They form a very unhealthy co-dependence on each other, but for them it works. They cant envision a world without the other in it.

[baby-xemnas]

Even tho Bepo does make a few comments about female bears, i wonder if it is more of an automatic response than anything, maybe something like compulsive speciism like you mentioned. Like it’s not something at the forefront of Bepo’s mind but that’s what is expected, that a mink will be with another mink, so that informs what he says out loud. I can’t help but think about how Bepo left Zou at such a very young age too, bc as far as we know, Bepo has been around humans far longer than minks at this point, so i wonder how that would’ve impacted or shaped his development and outlook on such things? In other areas too, I wonder if Bepo felt odd coming back to Zou, seeing the differences between himself and other minks who grew up and stayed in Zou or stayed in closer contact to minks even if they weren’t living in Zou. All this in relation to LawBepo and Bepo’s immediate intense strong attachment to Law, it’s interesting to think about!

yeeee.....

its a single crumb of Bepo's presense on Zou during that arc but i did appreciate when it was noted that "Even though he is from here, he is still an outsider" like thats GREAT thats a bit of worldbuilding i really appreciate making characters behavior more believable - ye no shit...not only did this guy not live with them, disappearing as a kid - he brought humans with him too - he is a complete stranger to the island. imagine moving to a very different country in elementary school - all your formative years would be shaped in accordance to the new place. I love that they treated him like the stranger he is

and GOOD POINT ABOUT HIS INSTANT ATTACHMENT TO LAW like yes of course its logical that he would be appreciative of a person who saved him - but Bepo had ZERO apprehension towards Law and following Law to a strangers house.. ofc u can say that he is too naive and easily trusting but it mustve been so crazy to him to be like wow! not only humans exist (when they met bepo have gotten over that initial surprise and probably hid from adults til pensha found him and beat his ass) but there are nice ones too! yay!!!!!!!!! :D!!

its absolutely compulsive species attraction like "i'm supposed to find a bear mink" and he just thought that way the whole time growing up and didnt even consider humans - and that was fine because he was very busy loving and supporting law - thought didnt cross his mind...if he felt horny he just thought "oh well i cant do nothing about this! idk where bear women are at!"

i love thinking about how weird it felt to come back home (and like i talked abt before i love that bepo didnt go home because he wanted to fullfill his initial wishes to 1) find zunesha on his own - reason he learned navigation 2) find out where his brother go - no he went to zou because (as he himself probably suggested as it was a safest place) law ordered them to lay low somewhere....i love that so much, that law going off on his personal vendetta mission caused bepo to fullfil his personal dream - the one that he put away for so long BECAUSE what law became way more important.

There is a sense of shame and wrong priorities there - imagine that instead of being a sort of triumphant/celebratory visit home where you can boast look at me i'm a pirate like my big brother! No instead he comes home asking for help, for a place to hide, not only for himself but strangers to the island - and he himself is as much a stranger as the humans. oof.

Its hard to imagine he felt that comfortable around minks at first, it was a wishful thinking like here i am among my people - but they look at him (and rightfully so) like an alien - and bepo is too worried about law to care....he is not there to integrate back into society....these people are not his people anymore, his crew and law are his family now

its super interesting and i really am sour forever that we didnt get more about this aside from "he is still a stranger even if he is from here" line about bepo and others being quarantined to a single area - and that one moment where bepo says "even if im a stranger this is my island too" when they are about to help defend zou against beast pirates along with locals

[definitelynotshouting]

hello!! i have thoughts about the hunger au worldbuilding <3

okay so

will Grian ever have an encounter with the Watchers in the fic (you dont have to answer ofc)?? but if he did,, what would his reaction be???

are they looking for him? did they just let him leave??

because- like. from what i can remember they didnt have any malicious intent towards him?? like Watchers function on a completely different moral level so they didnt mean any harm they DID harm him, y'know? if that makes sense??

also! do they Watchers love him in the sense of like,, parent child love? or do they simply view him as their offspring TM

now that im typing this out i feel like this is all very spoilery ish so you probably wont be able to answer it, but!!! i had to try >:)

-🐛

Hey bug anon!!! Dw i can answer these, thanks for asking!! :D

The Watchers wont be showing up in the main fic-- although theres definitely room for them to appear in future oneshots!!! That being said, uhhh.... Grian would NOT have a good reaction to seeing them again. He's got a lot of trauma surrounding them-- thats like, hardcore panic attack breakdown territory if he ever had another encounter.

And the Watchers are looking for him, actually-- community is such a big part of Watcher culture that its anathema to them that he'd ever even want to leave in the first place, and they worry a lot for his safety (considering hes both an integral piece of restoring their population, and because to them, striking out on your own is synonymous with death). They've been looking for him for years now, though by the time the fic takes place, that's tapered off from any active searching. These days, they only look where their feeding happens to take them (many of their colony assume he's dead, but some still hold out hope despite everything).

They didnt let him leave. Grian spent YEARS carefully watching them, cataloging their habits, learning how both they and his new body worked, before making a rapid and desperate escape. But they also didnt hold any malicious intent! Like you said, they just have a completely different moral structure, and ultimately, they were just following their customs. Community values dictate they stick together, so Grian's mad run for freedom took them all terribly by surprise, and was ultimately what gave him the leverage to successfully escape

I think the way Watchers parse the concept of love is very different from ours-- i hesitate to say they loved Grian if only because i dont feel like they define that feeling the same way Players would or even how we do irl. But they did deeply care. Juveniles are highly valued and taken care of by the entire community-- although Grian had the mind of an adult, not a freshly hatched juvenile, so that did make a slight difference in how they viewed him. I think a more accurate way to look at how they felt about him is that of a mentors and mentee relationship, where they taught him how to survive as one of them, and fully incorporated him as a member into their colony. He was genuinely cared for; in my head, i liken them to a well-meaning but very controlling family (though not a nuclear one)

Thanks again for the ask, bug anon!! :D it was nice to get a chance to talk about this!! I definitely want to write the Watchers proper at some point, so who knows-- maybe in a future oneshot, they might appear. Whether thats a pre-canon fic or a future one...... well, who's to say >:]

[smallnico]

when you made the comic about wyll saying that thing about orin i liked that the him inside his thought bubble didnt have the post-transformation horns and eye. a thoughtful little touch, it made me contemplate the ghost of his character arc (sorry if this is rude to the developers its just how i feel.) i also thought the comic was good overall. thanks ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

AUH NO THANK YOU <333

yeah i'm so glad people noticed and enjoyed that detail!! i love wyll so dearly and i also (with love to larian for everything they Did do) think he suffered a bit from the last-ish minute changes they made to his character. they were necessary changes, and they made him who he is today, but he didn't get as much thorough and layered development as some of the other companions did. he and karlach are both in this camp lmao, and i believe for the same reason. they didn't become who they are until pretty late in the development process, unlike someone like astarion, who's been himself since very early on.

all this to say, i love wyll and i am determined to explore what is there as best as i can, and i fucking love taking little details and pulling them out. wyll is a confident person who outwardly states that 'self-doubt' is one of the most dangerous monsters a person could fight, and he tends to double down on his confident persona every time something happens to rattle that confidence. moments like the tiefling party illustrate this for me very clearly -- if you wander around with him in the emerald grove post-devilification, a lot of key npcs will say to the effect of "wyll, what in the fuck happened to you", or react with fear and uncertainty. they're willing to accept it given any amount of time and thought, but there's not nothing to his worry that people see him as a monster, and of course, he's already been through the trauma of that same snap judgement by his father, so. he puts on a brave face and keeps his distance from the people he fears he makes uncomfortable, because what else are you going to do? enforce your own uncertain presence in front of regular, good people who are just... trying to live their lives? having a good time at a party? they don't want to be scared. you've been working your whole life to try and keep people like them safe so they don't have to feel scared or unsafe. you are getting in the way. this isn't for you. you aren't welcome here. it does no good to argue that point when you could just keep your chin up and leave.

of course, that's sad as hell, are you fucking kidding me? wyll deserves better than that, but he won't accept better because he's not the type to ask for grace or patience from others, and he's from a background where he's not confident he will receive it -- his father's grace is one thing, but think for a second about how he talks about ulder ravengard's personal history as well: ravengard sr. is the son of a tradesman serving a role meant for patriars. i don't doubt that all that comes with its own baggage and passed-down high standards. as soon as ravengard sr. let his guard down, you know a flock of upper-class baldurians was just waiting to tear him apart for it, because you see them do the same thing to gortash even though he's literally mind-controlling several of them. i don't doubt that ulder ravengard instilled in wyll a driving need to not only be better than other men, surer than other men, more dependable, reliable, with more sterling integrity than other men at all costs, remember the words of balduran, memorize the values of the city, love baldur's gate more than other men, be ready to face them and prove these things to them at all times because they are always testing you. it's hard to have the most demanded of you at all times, and it can create the kind of man wyll is: a man who sees self-doubt and hesitation as a monster, worse than a mind flayer or a devil. and he knows from experience (again, from ulder ravengard himself) that flagging for a second, not being able to explain yourself sufficiently to the people around you, is enough to get you cast out and shunned forever.

but it's not possible for a human being to live like that. they're impossible standards for a reason. wyll has a flawless facade of confidence, but he's not immune to self-doubt and angst under the surface, and this comes out when you play as him or investigate some of the details he drops in a regular tav/durge playthrough, and his devil transformation really does shake his confidence. look:

all of a sudden he's using 'i guess' and 'maybe' and 'could' and 'i might', more uncertain language, to say nothing of what he's actually saying. he's been put in a position where he thinks people will never see the wyll underneath again unless he asks it of them, something he has been conditioned to never expect people to do -- if you have to ask, you're not projecting a solid enough image of confidence and skill and good leadership. then there's the sheer body horror and dysmorphia of minding your own business and one day your boss physically transforms you into a monster forever. wyll is trying so hard at any given moment to not let it bother him, but it so clearly does, and it would bother anyone -- but wyll ravengard is supposed to be better than anyone, better than a normal man. he lives inside stories of heroes and hyperbolic idioms, Things One Says about Heroes, because he's never been allowed to be a normal man. he had to sneak out of the house to play hopscotch with lower city kids. to me that says everything. he has been taught to lead an idealized existence free of doubt, but that just means he's gotten very good at hiding his doubts and anxieties, his inconsistencies, his human error. he has so much trouble facing the fact that he also experiences internal conflict, just like anyone.

he spares karlach because she's an innocent, because it's the right thing to do, but he struggles with making that decision because he knows it's going to hurt him, and he refuses for a long time to admit that to himself, much less anyone else, because it makes him feel lesser. it makes him feel like the worst person on the planet to admit that he was afraid for his own life, essentially staring down the barrel of a gun to say no to mizora when faced with an innocent in need of protection, even though he wouldn't dream of even making a good person mildly uncomfortable for two minutes while they get used to the way he looks.

part of my vision for wyll's development is just, him getting a little bolder with the things he says, because we all know he says some out of pocket shit for no reason, and part of why that is so funny to me is because he says those things with all the confidence of a train barrelling forward, because of course he does, he's wyll ravengard, he has to be everything to everyone, he can't do something as human as cringe or twitch an eye and go 'ah. nope, that's not what i meant' when he blurts out something thoughtless, or something that sounded better in his head. i like the idea of turning into a monster being the thing that eventually makes him more comfortable with being human. part of letting your guard down around your friends is saying stuff you think they'd get a kick out of even if it doesn't fit the perfect image of the hero you're trying to be, or saying something that comes out wrong and letting yourself cringe when it wasn't received the way you wanted it to be. letting yourself let go of the idealized version of yourself and trusting your friends enough to know that they won't think less of you for it, because they still know you would rather die than let an innocent person get hurt, even if you do feel scared for yourself in the process.

tl;dr yeah i like to depict wyll slightly awkward and nervous. let the man be a human being and vulnerable for god's sakes he's been through enough. i love him

[arckiaym]

New legundo everyone listen up it's new legundo time

Mmhm here's my fucked up little spore of an enderman. Didn't do the. Bits, extra arms, tentacles, cause I didn't wanna ✨✨ actually it's because I banged out this pose in like 4 minutes and didnt wanna change it

Wanna hear my headcanons about this freak? ↓

No eyes! Who needs em?? He moves via echolocation, he will scream at you. Have u ever watched the descent?? That's him, he's a cave crawler

Emaciated cause who needs to eat when ur controlled by a decentralized hivemind mushroom god (??) I don't know what the skulk is in the lore, this is my lore now idc

Ok so yk when u get rabies ur like "damn I'm so thirsty :(" but u can't drink because of rabies? That happens with this guy too, cause mushrooms like water, so slurp slurp, but hes an enderman so obv that doesn't work lmao

Infected don't realize that they're getting hurt, cause the greater consciousness of the skulk doesn't care to preserve the integrity of its hosts because a dead body is a prime time for more mushrooms and grubbies to thrive in. So this guy, and everything else infected, will keep attacking you even when it should no longer be """alive""". Like u really gotta chop him up to get him to chill out a little (and by chill out I mean die)

Also he turns green because I uh, think that's cool idk, no lore for why he's green, he's green idk what to tell u

Normal enderman are uneasy but not aggro about this guy, and this guy will generally leave normal enderman alone because infecting an enderman (a critter already a part of a hivemind) with skulk (another hivemind) is kinda complicated and the brain is like "that's actually so not worth it tbh" so theyre generally chill with each other

[punchratt]

Indulging in my brainrot again, heres that longer bg3 character design post i was talking about! (@dragonageshitpostingelves, i didnt forget you <3) Also, Spoiler Warning, i talk a lot about the companions backstory and quests, so don't read if you haven't finished those. Or do, I don't care.

Im gonna be honest and admit right now that I am sadly NOT a professional character designer, but instead just a nerd who likes to draw. I think the bg3 designs are amazing as they are and deserve a hell of a lot more praise then their already getting. That being said, i have many opinions about these funny little tadpole people. The first of them being that Gale, Wyll, and Astarion should not look like that. I mean, they all literally have the same body model, just give or take few scars and some hair, then swap the head. Which i think is a little shocking considering that the girls have much more diverse body types. Normally its the other way around.

First, Astarion. I love him, but i should not be able to grate cheese on his abs. Dude was a slave surviving off rats and living in the shadows for over 200 years, he's a rouge with 8 strength and no work out plan other then squatting so he can hide better. The last thing he should have is a six pack. I am a firm believer in scrawny Astarion, that man is wet noodle, he is malnourished and it should show. I should be able to see that mans ribs. Play that boy like a xylophone. This twink is not twinking right now and its driving me insane!

Im not saying he cant be sexy, in fact i think its very important that he is sexy. A big chunk of his story has to do with his relationship with sex and how he views romance as a whole. The whole point of his story is that he seems like the sexy vampier stereotype, but is actually a much more in depth character with a very complicated relationship to sex and romance. He needs to look sexy for that to work. But you don't gotta have a six pack to look sexy! Whenever i see him without a shirt all i can think of is that abs just don't look right on him. Everything else i think they've gotten perfect, he really does look like the character he's supposed to be and i can only applaud Larian for getting it so right, just.. lose the abs.

Second, Gale. I feel like I've already summed up how i feel about his design in my last post, but i like talking so i'm gonna say more! Gale should be chubby!! All he likes to do is ponder his orb, talk to his cat, and study magic. I firmly believe that he also has a side passion for food. After all, what is cooking if not potion brewing but different? Gale can appreciate a good meal and it should show! After all, eating and food is integral to his character with the whole arcane hunger thing he has going on. Give me my dad bod Gale and all wrongs in this world will be righted.

But to be a little more serious about this, i think his story becomes all the more poetic and tragic if you view him as someone who loves food. Because just imagine that you have three things you love, magic, food, and your goddess girlfriend. Now imagine that one day, to impress your goddess girlfriend, you do something kinda really stupid and end up with a magic nuke in your chest. But wait, it gets worse! Because of this failed grand gesture your goddess girlfriend breaks up with and banishes you. She leaves you to deal with this whole thing by yourself, all you have now is your cat and cooking. But wait, it gets even worse!! No matter how much you eat, yu arent ful, so you're constantly starvinng now, and thats how you find out that the bomb in your chest feeds on magic! Which means that now Gale has to ether find a way to keep it fed or he's gonna kamikaze half the swords coast. Meaning he has to eat any magical artifacts he gets his hands on while also dealing with the emotional damage of everything else. Food, one of the only things he had left, is now a stressful reminder of the fucked up situation he's in.

Now I don't think that means Gale starts to hate food, or resent it in some way, I still think he's the adorable little foodie goofball dork who insisted on being the camp cook. But i do think it makes his whole relationship with food something much more bittersweet, which is very interesting and something i feel could be reflected better in his already amazing design.

Third, Wyll. Wyll, I believe, is the most likely to be buff out of these three. Though, I don't think he'd show it as much as he does. We know he likes to dance, and that he enjoys a good sword fight more then anything! He used to fence with his father and overall is a very active guy. He is probably the character that most matches his body, there aren't many things I'd change. That being said, he is still a warlock with less strength then a hamster. He wouldn't be that muscly.

My dude is the son of a Grand Duke, he's had a relatively cushy life that didnt really get all that much harder after his dad gave him the boot (dick move btw). He's struggled, defiantly! But i don't think it'd be a reach to say that Wyll might have a little fat on him. I dont really have much to say other then i think he'd benefit from taking those abs away and putting that bulk somewhere else. When I imagine Wyll I imagine a man with some arm game and a pudgy belly. Maybe some calf muscle too, but overall nothing too defined since he doesn't really use strength in combat. I mean, why does Wyll have more defined abs then Lae'zel? Of all the origin characters she should have the most defined abs of the group. Not these three clowns(affectionate).

Wyll is a softie with a heart of gold, he should get to have a soft body to go with it. Plus it'd add more contrast between what parts are devil and what aren't. Sharp rough horns, a scarred face, and striking but intimidating eyes juxtaposed against a soft but somewhat built frame, quick whit, and a generally nice attitude make for a very interesting design! One that i think would be much more compelling then the kinda default muscly hero build he has now.

Now compare those to the secrete fourth option i didnt tell you about! Halsin! I think Halsin is designed perfectly and there is nothing i would change. He uses a unique body model from the other three and his design perfectly captures who he is as a character. He's big, appropriately buff, and looks kind. I look at that man and i think "yeah, thats a guy who occasionally turns into a bear", and he does! He looks like a natural born leader who knows how to make those tough decisions, he looks as inviting as he acts, and he looks like he gives amazing hugs. Bear hugs if you will! That man is a bear in every sense of the word, and whats more druid then that?

I only really brought him up to set him as sort of a standard for the designs of this game, because almost every single design is just as perfect and well thought out as his. I could go on for several more paragraphs about other characters and why their also perfect, or what other small little changes id make to their designs (cough cough, Lae'zel abs, cough) but this thing is getting long enough as is.

So to conclude. Fuck abs, and get them off my boys! If you've actually read this whole monstrosity, thank you. It took me over half a day to write and i still feel like i haven't touched on everything. Like, i didn't get to praise their designs nearly as much as i wanted to, but oh well. Maybe I'll make another post about the girls, maybe ill ramble about what i do like about the boys designs, i don't know. Depends on if anyone wants that, or if i still got gas left in the tank after this. Finally, please excuse any spelling errors and the inconsistent capitals. Its late, i have dyslexia, and i'll probably go back and fix it later. Thanks again for reading!

[communistmarktemple]

watched the all of the hatchetfield series recently and had things to say about the way pokotho was handled in the last episode of nightmare time. dunno how much ppl on tumblr care about this but figured i'd post anyway

spoilers for the guy who didn't like musicals and nightmare time 2 episode 4: yellow jacket; slight spoilers for nerdy prudes must die.

in tgwdlm pokotho is established to take over people but like, theyre still individuals. and his goal there seems to be making everyone united and happy. and singing. the singing is an important part of it.

but then in yellow jacket hes like… deep voiced sadistic completely takes over peoples minds and leaves them blank shells. and is said to "want everyone dead except him" which directly contradicts like. everything about what made tgwdlm interesting.

bc theres this question the whole musical of like. what about what theyre singing is them and whats the hivemind. so like. to say he just wants it to all be his own voice completely removes that intrigue. and also directly contradicts what tgwdlm says about it "on some level theyre individuals but on a larger level theyre limbs of a single organism" but if theyre all just pokey then no, theyre not individuals.

also like. "what do you want paul" makes NO sense if thats just pokey speaking. why… why would he talk about mr. davidson's wife choking him out. thats what mr davidson genuinely wants. it doesnt even make sense as a manipulation tactic like you could argue for the other songs because like. it actively makes paul run away. theres nothing about mr davidson's want that would make paul want to join the apotheosis.

like "not your seed" is WAY more interesting if those are alice's actual feelings (and all those feelings track with the way she acts in watcherworld!!) but if you want to say its just a manipulation tactic that still tracks. making bill think its his fault that alice is gone would make him more likely to be willing to join. same with "you tied up my heart" and "inevitable" but like. WHY is pokey telling paul mr davidson's kink. what the fuck does that have to do with anything. mr davidson clearly has some level of control still

and like obviously the lords in black being applied to tgwdlm is a retcon so theres gonna be some stuff that doesnt 100% track but like. pokotho wanting everything to just be him literally ruins the climax of the show. "let it out" is compelling bc like. it isnt clear whether or not paul genuinely does like musicals or not. like.

"I’ve never been happy Wouldn’t that be nice? Is this the secret? Singing and dancing through life? Is my integrity worth anything at all? But happiness can’t come before its fall Am I crazy? Maybe I’ve always been I've become what I’ve hated? Or maybe I never did It’s awful freeing now To share the hate I felt But what will I let in if I Let it out?"

LIKE. is paul's conflict here bc he genuinely cant decide if he should want to join the apotheosis? or is it 100% the infection? he wants to be happy. maybe this is the way to be happy. HE KNEW THE WORDS TO MOANA. HE SAYS HE DOESNT LIKE IT BUT HE KNEW ALL THE WORDS. his actor explicitly points out that paul knew all the words. hello. maybe he never hated musicals. maybe he did. but making pokotho just be this mindless evil "subsume all voices except my own" type answers that question. nah it was just the infection. and also the goal of apotheosis wasnt to unite the world and make everyone happy it was just to kill everything that isnt pokotho.

like. thats so boring. why the fuck would you do that. its so much more interesting to have pokey genuinely think hes helping everyone by uniting people through song. like why the FUCK didnt otho sing??? why is he just. deep scary voice?????? he should be sing songy stepford smiler.

when spitfire got possesed she shouldnt have become a zombie it shouldve been like. :) han-nah. :) :) this is better han-nah. :) :) you should join us too han-nah. :) (: :) (:.

why is pokotho's mask like OoO it should be like (okay this was originally said on discord and i used a custom emoji of device_friend from deltarune here) thats way fucking scarier. its way scarier to have your friend go from crying and screaming to turning to you and smiling than it is to have them just. slump over.

i feel like they literally forgot what make tgwdlm scary?? they literally forgot to think about the implications.

like i dunno maybe you can say that that behvior was just otho and not pokotho. like in nerdy prudes must die pokey was defintely more gleeful. but we didnt get to fucking SEE barely any of him. why would you not give us more pokey. the villain of your first musical? hello?? i get making wiggly the main guy bc hes who the audience knows but like. ugh.

webby says he wants everyone whos not him dead. and maybe shes just being more negative about him bc like. hes against her. but like. the way the othos worked seems to be retconning how the possession works.

and man is that boring.

[twipsai]

MAJOR SPLATOON SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!! <this is mostly a caution for my friend whos going thru splatoon rn lolz hi Bee if ur reading this

screenshotting this post w/out the url and im turning rbs off cuz i dont wanna start beef, but like. i have never seen a more stupid fucking opinion of rotm. are you fucking kidding me.

first of all, the conflict between inklings and octarians was one-sided in modern times. it was simply a suffering civilization trying to take revenge on on whom they believed to be their enemies, not even knowing that the war they had fought is long dead and the inklings that inhabit the surface would welcome them with open arms. because, let me get one thing very clear: all of the weird racism metaphors in octo expansion are literally just a result of poor translation with the original being nowhere NEAR as overt in how they portray octolings as a sort of "stand-in" for the struggles that poc face irl. obviously, theres some tension between the two species, but there was never a story thread about this conflict. ya feel?

(^THIS SECTION IS WORDED WEIRDLY AND ISNT ENTIRELY REFLECTIVE OF MY OPINIONS ABOUT THIS PORTION OF THE GAME CUZ IM SLEEPY!!!!)

second of all, are we forgetting the part where the splatlands WERE effected by the Flood? it literally flooded the entire land!!! but instead of this dividing the people who inhabited it, they came together and drained it. drained it into Alterna. which is WHY we see these different tribes lasting in modern day with Deep Cut, why we see inklings and octolings living side-by-side with zero tension, and yet recognition and celebration of each others differences. is that not beautifully poetic?

we even see the fact that octarians have integrated back on the surface with the technology being used, particularly the use of floating machines! theres even octarian language on the splatana stamper! all of this life that was breathed into the game is all around you and it takes so little effort to just look!

i just wanna make one thing clear: so far, ALL of splatoons hero modes have been caused by humanity, be it directly or indirectly. in splatoon 1 and 2, we see the long-term effects of octarians living underground for 100 years rear its head and lash out, trying to survive. conditions underground are harsh. why are they underground in the first place? they lost the great turf war. a fight for land due to the rising sea levels. which was LITERALLY CAUSED by a nation 12000 years ago dropping a bomb on Antarctica as an intimidation tactic, as well as general global warming reaching a tipping point after wwV.

octo expansion? a broken machine left behind by humanity goes insane in its loneliness and tries to perfect the new intelligent life after sitting and watching for so long. splatoon 3? the last mammal, in its grief, tries to regain what he has lost.

the entire franchise is about letting go of the past, living in the moment, and looking forward to the future. half the songs naming conventions are based around momentum. its now or never.

how can you not see how this game has built its world so beautifully? it just makes me sad to think about

people are entitled to their own opinions, and its fine if you didnt like splatoon 3's story. but why are you, in a game franchise that ends with the line "the times have changed. the world can never be as it was. moving forward... is the future" so stuck in what could have been?

[dear-diary-mood-apathetic]

brb im fucking bawling

life story/rambling under cut

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting lately. A lot of revisiting things Id have been much happier to leave in the past.

I always hated hearing how one day it would get better. Because I knew that it wouldnt be that easy. I knew I wouldnt just wake up one day and feel fine. And I think more than anything, I was scared that being okay meant losing the most integral part of my child/teen self: my rage.

I was an emotional kid growing up. I'd cry at everything and anything and all I ever wanted was for everyone to be happy. It was a burden I undertook personally at far too young of an age. Be it the eggshells I took my first steps on or the guilt I'd never let go of simply for the inconvenience of being born a baby. I saw things a child shouldnt have to see and handled emotions and situations far too grown up for a second grader. When I started to understand this, thats when I started to get angry.

I knew that the way I was treated wasnt okay, and by the time I would turn ten I'd gotten violent. I escaped into the comfort of horror media and would often find myself locked away in my dark bedroom on my phone for hours at a time scouring the corners of the internet for the next disturbing thing I could find. But I was just a kid. And that would send me down a multi-year psychotic episode that left me feeling isolated and terrified. And even more angry. I started getting into fights whenever the opportunity arose outside of the house. I wasnt even in middle school yet, but I was filled with blind, white hot rage already.

Once I made it to middle school though, some of the anger had festered into a chronic depression that felt like emotional rot. I developed a lot of awful habits and worsened a few Id picked up prior. I hurt a lot of people in my spiral downward and I still regret many of those things to this day. I was hurting and determined to make other people hurt too. But it only felt fair to me at the time; if I have to go home to my dads cruelty every single day, what did it matter who I hurt? They were supposed to feel bad for me.

It wouldn't be until about 2020 that things started to finally look up. I got my first job against my dads will, and this would be the decision that changed my entire life. I finally started to understand that I wasn't bound by my dads judgement. I met the people who would let me move into their apartment after a shitty roommate situation. And most importantly I met my boyfriend.

I went through a few relationships and there were a few roadblocks before it finally worked out for us to get together. Including my dads impulse choice to move himself, me, and my pregnant stepmother to South Carolina with no actual shelter built except a camper for them and a tent for me in July of '22. But after being friends for about a year and a half, we finally started dating in August. That November, he and one of our then mutual friends made an 8+ hour drive to pick me up on my eighteenth birthday. I turned 18 on November 6th and they started driving on the fifth. If it werent for them I'd still be stuck in South Carolina!

I really think I have my boyfriend to thank for who I am today. When we met I was sixteen and didnt plan on making it to eighteen. I dont think I wouldve without him. Hes been the most supportive and patient person as I've worked to heal a lot of wounds he didn't cause. Ive only been able to do the reflection and self help I needed because of him. I've been allowing myself to let go of the anger Ive defined myself with for so long and its scary. But I think Im going to like the gentler version of myself. The version he deserves.

Because for once in my life I feel like I'm safe. The eggshells are gone. A quiet house doesn't mean tension and a loud one no longer means violence. I can breathe and rest for the first time in a long time. I slept with an eye open for a while, but I think its finally safe to close them both.

[sadisthetic]

jaya string of fate au

ive mentioned string of fate au a few times here. ive finally put it together into a post. okay so the reason why ive taken so long to transfer this is bc ITS FROM JULY OF LAST YEAR. i wasnt sure if i should lightly edit it or rewrite it. because it started out as me complaining about rebooted and then me fucking craving fanfiction and hurt (i do this 24/7) and then it morphed into this au that also doubled as character/relationship analysis and me fixing rebooted with my bare fucking hands in the context of this au

anyways. jaya string of fate au with emphasis on the heartbreak of s3. half of this was written half a year ago. man i was so mad about s3 back then lol

been thinking about s3 again. whats even more frustrating about the bad het drama. is that they didnt even give jay and nya a proper break up. granted their get together wasnt on screen either BUT IF YOURE GONNA OH SO RUDELY TEAR THEM APART LIJE THAT. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS DO IT WITH MORE FUCKING PURPOSE. THE WRITERS JUST PITCHED A WRENCH INTO THE WORKS AT BULLET SPEED JUST BECAUSE! JUST BECAUSE THEY WANTED DRAMA. BUT FOR WHAT!!!!!!!!! MAKES ME FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL IT DID IS DO JAY DIRTY AND NYAS CHARACTER DIRTY

nyas fucking integrity spit on. you didnt have to make her be like that. it just really fucking made her look BAD. god i wont say jay was a perfect boyfriend but he didnt deserve THAT.

anyways. i want a canon compliant jaya breakup fic set in s3 (present jem speaking: I STILL WANT THIS BY THE WAY.) im so certain nobody has written this. i think heartbreak could be a form of whump if you make it hurt enough.

well. technically. it would be more emotional hurt fic rather than whump. but im a guy who has his definitions twisted. this is whump to me. also im a guy who thinks unromantic things as romantic but also loves love thats void of romance above anything else. i can do both. anyways.

i want jay to feel absolutely crushing heartbreak. i want jay to be hurt. i want him to feel it in his chest. unfairness— rending, jealousy— twisting, want— squeezing. all he yearns for is to be with nya. because he loves her. but apparently... nya doesnt feel the same way. and it hurts

i want to consume heartbreak. i think itll be crunchy on the outside but soft and squishy on the inside. absolute chewable pleasure. lightly salty and bittersweet. i also wanna squeeze jays heart like a stress ball and maybe cause arrhythmia. scratch it a little (a lot). jay is my emotional and physical fucking chew toy

and so to make heartbreak a bit more whumpy tho... i thought up of red string of fate au...

in this version of this concept, the red string of fate is something that needs to be tied by the pair together. and the feelings behind it is what gives the string color. but sometimes if a love is fated to be, the red of the string is instantly, intensely vibrant, almost glowing 

but you dont know who your soulmate is until you actually get together and tie the knot. it is not preexisting, the string does not connect people together for them to find each other before they even know the other exists. it only exists when two people make the decision to bind each other to themselves. most people dont find their soulmate but because its so often the case ppl are content with someone who isnt bc you dont need to find love in your soulmate alone, love is abundant in other places. but that isnt to say the red string of fate isnt romanticized in society tho. anyways. nya likes jay and their string is a pleasant warm red thats a little pink. its typical color for those who arent soulmates but its ok

jay is a little smitten in a slightly overbearing way tho. i think they are a couple who are a little bit mismatched in terms of showing affection. and also nya is very independent type so jays chivalrous tendencies grates on her a little but she lets it slide bc to her, jays positives outweigh his negs. hes cute and funny and they both can geek out and bond over tech stuff. thats a part of the fun. 

but then the match maker thing happens and nya doesnt immediately start considering cole as a romantic interest. but she does start... considering things tho. why cole could be her match. and if he really is her soulmate. why isnt jay her perfect match? its less nya becoming interested in someone else and more nya examining herself to think about what she actually wants for herself and what she wants in a person and if jay really isnt the right guy for her in the end. she doesnt know if cole would actually give her what she wants more than jay does. but she does grow more aware of the mismatch between her and jay

but before anything could be done about her doubts and dismiss it all and just carry on with their relationship, jay finds out in the trailer and is devastated. and intensely jealous of cole.. because hes been a bit insecure about his and nyas relationship for a while now also. he jumps the gun too quick before nya could reassure him so then that Fight happens and things get messy and ugly really fast. jay makes himself look really bad in front of nya which unfortunately reinforces her doubts in jay and she thinks. maybe they shouldnt be together after all. 

and so one night nya talks to jay alone. she explains herself. how shes been feeling about them. how she wants to focus on herself. and that hes too much for her and hes stifling her and she thinks it would be better if they cut things off and go back to being friends. and then she cuts the string that binds them together before jay could even object. it stings for nya but for jay it feels like his heart was sliced in two. literally. he feels a sharp pain that makes him clutch his chest. for nya, she had more time to process the severance. because she was sorta falling out of love for a while. her side of the string has become desaturated and dull. which is why she doesnt hurt as much

she doesnt realize how much jay truly loves her and how much it would hurt him when the string was cut. so when jay falls to his knees, tears falling, she just turns and walks away because she thinks its just from the heartbreak. she knew she was breaking jays heart

she doesnt realize how much hes literally hurting, how she left his heart bleeding. she knew but she didnt know. its most painful experience jay has ever felt in his life. a searing ache. theres a sudden painful void instead where there once was nyas love. its loss that was much too abrupt

heartbreak cant kill a person but it can leave them wounded. and with an abrupt disconnection like that, its why jay hung onto those feelings for nya for months after even tho he never acted on them. his half of the string refused to wither away and he didnt want to discard it either. how could he when he still loved nya. but he couldnt do anything about it though. nya made up her mind. and jay knew her well enough that she would probably hate him more if he chased after her. and so... he kept his feelings close to his chest and his sad, loose thread wrapped around his finger tight all the way until skybound...

—

okay. now present day jem speaking. that was the end of original story i had written on twitter... its meant to be a missing scene (inbetween seasons) fic + au. canon compliant except for the fact its set in this au. so skybound more or less carries out the same way. except minor details being changed...

such as nadakhan approaching jay. he tells him he cannot fix or create strings of fate. but he can give him other means of winning nyas heart... 

although this isnt a part of the “fic” i do imagine at the end of their divorce era.... nya who had casted away her old string, remakes her string to tie to the end of jays (and her) old one where she cut in. the thing is making strings of fate is something anyone can do regardless of being fated to be or not. what the string of fate is in this au is more of an oath... an intention to be together to the end of time. the two people are choosing to bind their fate to each other. nya, who had felt stifled in a relationship and decided she didnt need to be in one back all the months ago, realized something in skybound.... the string of fate isnt a contract or a shackle. not like how she thought... its a sentiment of how much you care about somebody to want to be connected forever. till death do us part. and jay very sincerely wanted that. he wanted to be with nya forever. and nya realizes... despite all his flaws, she really cares about him. she does want to be with him forever. she wants to be together with everyone, all her friends, her family forever. i think she doesnt know the nature of her feelings for jay. they are a bit conflicted and shes not sure how to sort out her desires from her feelings. but i think she decides to give jay a second chance of sorts. when they tie the loose ends the color on nyas side is an ambiguous grey barely tinging pink 

she tells jay she doesnt want to just get back together. she wants them to start over. and jay isnt sure what that means. and by the color of the string hes not sure if it means theyre dating again either. its a very ambiguous ground theyre standing on. but... jay takes the fact that nya retied their string to mean something. that nya isnt rejecting him anymore. that she cares. that he means something to her. it gives jay hope. his feelings for her havent changed... but he decides that to just be. and take things slow. hes happy even if hes confused by what nya wants. hes connected to her again.... and that means so much to jay

i think that their relationship from the end of skybound and onward is a bit more slowburn. well its a weird sorta slowburn. because theyre together but not really. its about them figuring their relationship out. and also nya falling back in love for reals. i love navigation of ambiguous relationships. i think for a while for nya the term “girlfriend”/“boyfriend” is more loaded than the term “soulmate”. thats how fucking weird their relationship got. whats not ambiguous is that nya does love him. she wouldnt have retied their string if she didnt. whats ambiguous is the nature of that love.... its not quite platonic but shes hesitant to call it romantic. whatever. they have time to figure it out

okay. that turned out so much more aro than i was intending. but i do like leaving it like that tho. feelings are difficult to navigate arent they sometimes? how they figure it out is up to whoever. love is love. they are more than “just” friends. but romance itself is a difficult and different beast than love. but jay and nya.... they meet halfway somehow. even if it takes a bit of work

ALSO. LOOK AT THIS ART BY DAN @rotten-dan he drew it for me several months ago when i first finished this au’s original thread which ended at the breakup skdjgthulkd. HEARTBREAK!!!!!!!!!!! YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you again dan for drawing this for me 

—

also. heres some bonus supplemental worldbuilding that doesnt pertain to story stuff but fleshes out how i picture the world in this au to work. most of this was written to answer dans questions about this au lol... not necessary to read unless if youre interested in my take of string of fate concept lol. or unless youre interested in the bit about bruiseshipping in this au at the very end

-

the string is often attached to the ring finger. so its a very romantic gesture when couples tie it together to each others fingers. like putting wedding rings on each other but its more of a cute fluffy thing rather than binding. not ceremony but its a Thing. its the same level of formality as asking someone out. and string is like. supernatural. its not completely physical but its definitely exists and can be touched. but not as if a literal string is tied to them if you know what i mean? like if the pair are far apart then the strings middle isnt visible but the ends that are tied floats towards the direction of their partner. the string is like. metaphysical. its a perceivable, somewhat tangible representation of love

but if desired the string can be cut if the parties want to separate. but it usually hurts. like a lot of breakups do.

okay so. the thing is with like. almost all soulmate aus. is that they know about their soulmate. or that the evidence of who it is is instantly visible. and like..... that sorta kills part of the fun? of falling in love?

so what if they dont know until they decide to try each other out first. thats the like. the thought behind the set up for this

like. theres sometimes the occasional dumbass whos going off constantly try to find their soulmate but ultimately a soulmate isnt someone you can simply Search for and find. so those kind of people end up being pricks who never will find a soulmate in their life because they dont want to work things out with ppl who arent their soulmate. the pursuit of a soulmate will usually end in disappointment

but sometimes. for the people who do find their soulmate. its because they gravitated to each other in the first place. 

like they fell in love with each other naturally. they liked the person for who they are. and so they decided to get together because they enjoy the other person so much. so when they realize they are meant to be they laugh like oh of course! they were meant to be. theyre like the hallmark movie couple of couples and the few of the very lucky ones

not being soulmates doesnt mean you can only fall in love with your soulmate tho. you can fall in love with anyone. regardless of whether theyre your soulmate or not. and even if theyre not. why does that fucking matter? the important thing isnt that they arent meant to be, but that they love each other anyways. isnt that more romantic? fuck fate the one i love is you

usually nonsoulmate relationship take more work. because the instant perfect chemisty of fated couples isnt there. buuuut. isnt that how love is like in reality? love is work sometimes. love is sometimes hard. but love is also worth it. so making the decision to work for it is more easy the more youre in love. not always the case. but in the healthy couples its usually the case

previously that the feeling behind the thread gives it its color. so. the string can end up being a different color if the feelings felt arent romantic love. most people dont know this though bc ppl who usually tie it are couples. and also it takes both of them to tie the string. every single relationship has a theoretical string color. its just most people who actually want the string are couples usually couples. and so for example, most aros dont ever even think of trying to tie it with someone bc they dont want that kinda bind. but if a curious aro wants to try it out bc they are questioning about their best friend if the two of them agree just to see. their string could actually be a different color than red. because the feelings behind it are platonic

its also entirely possible for a string to be entirely black between enemies hfhjskl. but however those kind of pair would usually NEVER tie the string together bc you know hbghsk. enemies. but if they were. it would be that color. but maybe some insane enemies who are obsessed with each other would do it tho. you know fated enemies and such

..... i have thoughts about bruiseshipping in this au also. theyre best friends, they can bind each other if they wanted to. they have the mutual sentiment required to. but due to the culture surrounding the red string of fate specifically, they never think to. even if they did consider it once they didnt ever bring it up bc awkward!!!!!! the string of fate is the symbol of love. couples treat it a bit frivolously but it is a loaded thing. the string of fate is conversely isnt strictly about love but its just often the case when you want to connect the souls of two people for eternity its usually because of love. theoretically i think their string color would actually oscillate between black and their standard representative color (maybe ill go with light blue lol....) depending on if theyre fighting or not. because it would be funny if it did. also. i think they might try it only after jay and nya retie their string of fate. because then they see its an option to tie strings of fate nonromantically. so theyre like... hey.... do you wanna like... just see? and thats that. two besties bound. jay has two strings of fate now

hysterically it would be funny if all the ninjas did it to each other. it would be a mess. but a colorful one. you know those ship charts where ppl draw lines for their otps and notps. its like that but its not shipping its just relationships and also every single person is connected to every single other person. not saying it has to happen in this au its just that the image of it is so fucking funny to me i had to say it. it would be useful tho if they wanted to find each other wherever they are. practical

maybe they should do that. idk

anyways. thats the end of my au. the post is longer than my og thread of it hjhklkjlkghjf. anyways. thats my weird subversion of string of fate au for jaya. writing the endgame jaya part tonight made think again. damn. im so fucking aro. i think the way i write romance always turn out not so romantic because of it. but also. THIS IS PEAK ROMANCE. SUBVERT BORING ROMANCE TROPES INTO SOMETHING LESS AMATANORMATIVE AND MORE INTERESTING FOR YOUR ENRICHMENT. I RECOMMEND IT. ITS MORE FUN. thats my biased aro ass speaking tho. but for reals. subvert tropes. find out what makes something truly romantic. anyways thanks for reading all of this. i am very fond of this au..... especially for the breakup scene lol...............

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

ok episode 10 time. i ended up only putting together the head and body of the mk-ii earlier

starting off with sarius trying to bring up aerial again to the benerit group to try and get some punishment in but rajan is like lol nope.

given how we later see prospera and delling together at the end of this ep, i figure its a pretty good assumption that some time between grassley duel and now (its 2 months from what shaddiq says later), delling bring prospera on for quiet zero and he likely also help front aerial's repairs

also man vim is a fucking idiot lol. i totally forgot he says this to sarius. and then iirc all we get once we're in cour 2 is peil bringing up that jeturk suits were used at plant quetta which like yea lmao he can't be like oh btw i knew about it all beforehand

oh this little lovestruck tanuki

knowing endgame miorine, what are the chances that little lesbian was keeping count like this too

i'm glad suletta no longer sees relationships as transactional but lmao this little gay baby. just ecstatic to be of use to miorine and tend to the greenhouse while shes away

honestly cool as hell that they got this prototype all set in the last two months - likely mostly nika and belmeria's work. i have a dumb headcanon that gund-arm probably didn't really get to do much R&D in the 3 year time skip because of all the loose ends miorine's probably been dealing with from the benerit group, on top of taking care of suletta, taking care of her mother-in-law and then nika's in fucking jail lol. even then, since it's likely ojelo and nuno were the ones doing most of the work (maybe belmeria still helping?), it's still neat that they have prosthetics about to start testing rounds with petra. yeah i wrote all this just to say wow nika's so smart

this scene is so ridiculously heartwarming lol she's such a little dweeb

who knew these stupid things would become such an integral part of the story lol

also, i'm glad we didnt get the secret message inside cool-san thing everyone kept theorizing about after the break up. that just wouldnt have made any sense with what miorine was trying to do lol

gosh its so nice to be rewatching this and just KNOW somewhere within those 2 months suletta and miorine's relationship just became normalized to the earth house kids and we just see it over and over in this episode

like when has nika referred to suletta as hanamuko-san lol and she does so immediately after our tanuki is gushing about giving miorine the ugly ass keychain lol

oh yeah, shes thinking of her tanuki

in retrospect this was kind of insanely naive of miorine, wasnt it? shes lucky feng jun and guston weren't onboard with what the rest of the SAL was cooking up

lol at this "stick to your duels". my dude you literally fund proxy wars on earth. you have no moral ground to stand on

lol this episode really is so good at setting up for episode 11. just look at her happy little faces each and every single time she's felt useful

oh the fucking bracelet 😭

weird to think shaddiq's plan works out in the end and plot convenience keeps delling alive, but it pretty much ends up as his plan of trying to obtain majority shares

i hope they've just been teasing her for 2+ weeks miorine's been gone and possibly even before then

iconic tanuki shot

platonically, of course. as gal pals.

actually i think of note in this scene with elan and him planting doubt in suletta's brain is whether what he says is true or he's just making shit up as part of doubt sowing. but he's basically implying that miorine has been acting in such a way that everyone at school is talking about it and they can't believe how different she's being. and part of that is certainly true given what shaddiq's said numerous times over the last few episodes

lol this will always remain such an excellent take on the misunderstanding trope

oh yea and don't forget mom and dad

almost forgot there's a post-credits scene on this ep. i wonder what his original plan to break up the group was before the delling assassination plan fell in his lap

also imaging living in a world where BOBBU became a class traitor and actually learned from his experiences..... yea right lmfao

ok definitely not finishing the 1st cour because it's taken me forever to watch this one episode. gonna see how many episode i knock out over the weekend

[isaacathom]

saw the dnd movie with my game club and we hooted and hollered and i cried like a widdle baby, thoroughly recommendable experience

my fav things, overall - i really liked that each member of the party got a scene to show off their shit. holga got to fuck up the guards in the alley, simon did the magic at the theatre (?), doric did her wildshape shenanigans to save a member of the emerald enclave, and zenk (sp?) did all the sick shit in the underdark. edgin didnt get anything anywhere near as flashy, but id argue that his bits were the intro with the backstory (which, fun fact, i assumed he was completely lying about until they got home) and the time stop trick at the end. hes so good. i almost reckon this was something a rebuttable to the 2000 movie, because the BIGGEST complaint is that noone other than Ridley does anything. (okay, maybe not biggest, but the most glaringly obvious).

and arguably the film also addresses the thing where 'why are these people travelling together'. edgin and holga co-raise a whole child, simon's absolutely dirt fucking broke and is relying of edgin to pull through, doric's been convinced to join as a way to stick it to the man, zenk is convinced to help because at that point they know more about Sophina and there's now like, Big Plot at play, which he also opposes idealogically. MWAH. like its so simple but the 2000s movie really fucked it for that (mostly bc they cut the scene that was integral to Ridley+Marina's arcs and shit (the one in the map) and they just. never explain why the dwarf is there. whats his deal. the ranger has a deal idr why she tagged along tho)

i also loved the section with zenk. like its hilarious structurally that hes in so little of the movie, but bc i didnt watch the marketing idgas. i thought he was great. hes there to guide the party to an item, yes, but hes really there to guide *them*. and edgin thinks thats a load of shit, but he was right! without zenk as a moral influence on the party, to remind them of what actually matters? damn.

and how thats sort of what prompts them getting out of their darkest hour. like yeah that hours damn short, a single scene really, but i like it. everyone saying this is hopeless, whats the point, whats edgin even done, and edgin finally confessing that yes! he fucked up! he's the reason any of this happened! and for fucks sake, he'll find a way out, he has to. i love it. like that scene got my ass. it was so sweet.

amd the whoolle plot of him and holga and his daughter. i loved the simplicity of the "twist" with the tablet - he kept saying 'ill bring your mother back', finally admits that what he's doing isn't bringing kira's mother back, its bringing his wife back, and then ending up using the tablet to save Holga, who is really Kira's mother in the way that matters????? that shit got me. like as soon as i saw she'd been stabbed i was like oh ay i know the plot here and yet! i wept! that shit got me. it was just so sincere, i think. like yeah, its cheesy, but its taking itself sincerely. the feelings of the three characters involved is deeply sincere.

aaaaa. i adored it. i had such a good time.

[oflgtfol]

things i would change about razias shadow

A Thousand-Year, Minute-Long Intermission: sorry its just insane to me that only 100 years pss between acts 1 and 2 like act 1 could realistically be within living memory. adakias didnt know who ahrima was (“this boy who sits at the top of my family tree”) meanwhile ahrima is like. his great grandfather ??? MAYBE great great grandfather depending on the gap between each generation? granted i dont know anything about my great great grandparents but i think if something as drastic as the shit that went down with ahrima happened, then yes even a great great grandfather will be remembered. but if 1000 years passed then its muuuch more understandable for this to be a tale lost to time, for ahrima to be “at the top of the family tree,” for it to be like An Old Legend, An Ancient Prophecy

make the citizens of the dark NICE ‼️‼️: it just kinda takes away from act 1, for me, when you reduce the whole light vs dark dichotomy as the stereotypical good versus evil. the dichotomy even existing at all is supposed to be a tragedy as a result of ahrima’s actions - to then act like oh the dark citizens are inherently evil and corrupt, just makes it seem like that dichotomy is intrinsic, that that dichotomy is GOOD, even, in order to Protect The Light (not evil people). i personally prefer reading the citizens in The Exit as just being kinda coarse and rude, and ultimately just doing normal cultural pressuring of someone in high standing, but not anything particularly like Evil. but, yknow, pallis is a respected prince and is totes down for murder, and the citizens clearly admire him and want the “evil and darkness to grow” etc. Not great! also the fact that adakias’s mere presence as a Dark person is like, enough to poison anhura…. i find the idea kinda cool but mostly if it was mutual, like this Light Vs Dark dichotomy is a curse for both populations, it makes everyone miserable, it hurts everyone. so if both adakias and anhura fell ill from each others presence i think that’d be really cool thematically and also would lessen the absolute weirdness that is adakias as a character when he takes advantage of anhura’s ignorance regarding that Presence Poisoning. and ultimately i do not believe ahrima was evil; yes im an ahrima hater, yes he was arrogant and selfish and entitled, but i truly do not believe he held any malice when he did what he did, or at least not malice to that extent. his malice would be “im frustrated with everyone right now so let me be horribly mean and ruin their day, that will show them!” but then it went horrifically, UNINTENTIONALLY wrong. he did not MEAN to destroy anything, and yes that speaks even more to his flaws, that hes so immature and short sighted and self centered that he doesnt think the consequences through until whats done is done and he has to face them, but that doesnt mean he was EVIL and WANTED to burn everything to the ground. the end result was the same and he 100% deserved to face the consequences he did for it because it was all his fucking fault but i think that distinction is important anyway because you can still like, Not be evil but still do bad things. theres nuance. so likewise i’d appreciate if there was nuance in the consequences of his actions as well; nuance in the subsequent Light Vs Dark dichotomy. this nuance comes about from the fact that the dichotomy is torn down at the end, which is treated as a good thing, but its strange to me that if the Dark is meant to be intrinsically evil, to the point where they revel in casual murder, then like, well how do you even integrate the two together again after that? but if the Dark wasnt evil, and the Light wasnt good, then they can easily meet in the Gray area once more; and this enhances the tragedy of the story where these two populations were separated and equally suffered for 100 or 1000 years for no reason all because of the mistake of this one selfish boy.

[windowsmillennium2000]

I didnt deal with my parents being as strict in the same way but I know how it feels growing up without getting to go out ever. for me it was more because of having no friends and also like…when you go without doing stuff for your whole life the thought of trying it is ridiculously scary so it self perpetuates

but it really feels awful feeling like you missed all this integral development stuff that seems to just have come naturally to everyone else and feeling kinda broken because of that. to see other people like. just simply going outside somewhere, doing stupid shit, with or without friends, and just feeling like “how come this is so unobtainably alien to me”

yeah :( this was also part of the problem for me, i only had one IRL friend and while i enjoyed hanging out with him he was mostly off doing his own thing and i always kinda felt like i was holding him back. if i had more friends maybe things would have turned out differently, im not sure.....

but its so crazy because as a result going literally anywhere feels like such a huge event for me. how crazy life would be if i actually got to Do things that were Fun. it would all be so different i think.

but now i feel like i dont even really know how to exist or act outside of online and when you have developmental disorders or things that already impact your social skills it doesnt make it any easier. >_< worse when i am expected to act normal after having grown up....like this. its tough. i could go on and on about it. i rly feel for people who have had similar experiences ;_; i dont feel like its talked about enough.

[my-lunaberg]

I got sick and didnt feel like watching dsmp so I just watched a bunch of random movies I found on my german piracy site of choice for almost a week but now Im better and Im about to watch Eryns origin story and idk man, I just felt like sharing my thoughts about that guy so far

First of all, Im so curious about this concept of any dsmp character having an origin story bc its like. their origin story is that they showed up. thats it. Like yeah, a lot of people very obviously have histories going back to before they showed up on the smp but theyre never really elaborated upon. Niki and Wilbur would kill for eachother with no hesitation, no explaination needed, stuff like that

Also, Im curious about some of the demon lore we'll potentially get bc like, demons arent a thing in minecraft the way slimes or endermen are but Eryn said he is one and also actually confirmed that BBH is one as well (I think he did anyway, I know its been popular fanon for a while but I dont remember it being brought up in canon before he said it), so Im curious how theyre gonna be integrated. My prediction is that theyre basically just gonna be like, the nether-equivalent of humans. Like, in the overworld the humans (or player characters ig) are the only sapient creatures and in the nether its demons.

But thats general lore stuff, now I wanna talk about my guy Eryn !!!! :D

I like him so much and idek why. Hes just a fun guy a fun lil guy I love him :D

I guess the best way to describe it would be like, Im very charmed by him. I love that hes like, this edgy-lookin ninja guy who likes to cause trouble, hes really the chaotic teenage boy this server has been missing ever since every other teenage boy has either been horrifically traumatized or is Purpled. I also like that, despite him being this chaotic teen boy who does what he wants, he seems to very sincerely admire Eret and listens to them for some reason ?? I say 'for some reason' because Eret has kinda been old news for a long time, like the fact that theyre a king doesnt mean anything because actual governments just kinda stopped mattering to everyone except for Wilbur and Quackity, but that honestly just makes it more charming. Eryn and Erets entire dynamic is just so good idk why, but its so comfy and chill in a way where you can tell theyre still just aquaintances but its still so nice yknow. This kinda ties into my previous point as well, I really like how he put a shit ton of effort into getting good knight armor and honestly really wants to be a knight while also demonstrating that hes willing and able to like, steal shit from the prison

Another thing that I find really interesting is his complete and utter lack of connection or interaction with Dream. Like, he arrived after Dream had long been in prison and while he left an undeniable impact on literally everything in the server, no one really. talked about it? Eryn seemingly had to go out of his way to get any kind of information because when Dream was still locked up everyone was all like "welp, the big badscary villain man is gone, and we're all safe so we dont have to worry about him anymore and we'd rather not talk or think about him lest we spoil everyones good mood" and then when he escaped they were all like "oh no, we're already feeling so anxious and bad bc we dont know where he is so we'd rather not talk about him lest we make everyone feel even worse when everything is already so terrible". His mindset is that Dream hasnt harmed him personally and hes never really interacted with him so he doesnt really have an opinion on him, which is very interesting as well. On one hand, it seems a bit naive to think that way when literally everyone keeps telling him how horrible that guy is, but also, while none of the conflicts on the dream smp have ever been caused by mob mentality, they have certainly been exercabated by it, so i guess its better to have less of it

I do have mixed feelings about that though. I feel like I'd need to see Eryn interact with Dream in order to really form an opinion on that and I feel like they might actually do that. Like, Eryn is Tommys friend and I think if Dream somehow found out that he doesnt have any negative feelings towards him on the basis of "he hasnt harmed me personally", he would definitely try to exploit that and I think that could be really interesting. If that doesnt happen in canon I might write an AU about it, probably not straight up villain!Eryn but maybe leaning more towards chaotic neutral idk