#BUT IN THE MEANWHILE PLS TAKE HER IF YOU WOULD LIKE LEN!! <3 <

[melloreturn]

@mythvoiced sent in: MORE NELL, MORE NELL~ What are ways for her to wind down after a tough day/night? How does she feel about tough life decisions, avoidant or 'better get this over with as fast as possible'? What's her dream home? Ideal date? 👀 Does she prefer working in silence or does she like ambient sounds or maybe some tunes playing in the background? What's a supposed work 'for children' that she'd thoroughly enjoy as an adult? One work of fiction that feels like home? What are her high fives like, soft, loud, two hands, one hand, is she one of those people that holds your hand a little when your palms connect? ALL THE LOVE, FERRE~ || lena back at it with the WONDERFUL QUESTIONS 🥺

She has to look twice at this curious bystander because most of the time, she’s the one who ends up asking the questions, not the other way around. Between her, Alfred, and Myungdae, she has the least to hide…if one does not count the illegal hacking Nell used to do on the side.  But in her defense, it was a side gig,  the rent in London is always going up, and her employer at the time definitely didn’t have any intention of matching her salary with inflation rates. Hand momentarily off the keyboard, she points to herself, mouthing ‘me, right?’

Yes, they are talking to her.

Her hands go back to the keyboard- wireless with tactile switches; perhaps getting one with linear switches would be better since they make less noise and require less force to press down on, but the sound of typing is so ingrained in her ( and the other two for that matter ), it feels wrong to switch to something else. “I’m a simple girl. Give me my Do*ctor Who marathons and a tub of pistachio ice cream and I’ll be there. Not that any other flavor is worse, but you know…we all have our preferences, don’t we? Myungdae’s got his red beans and Alfred, he’s pretty BASIC. Don’t tell him I said that.”

Chocolate, she means. Not that basic is necessarily bad in this case.

She gives a nervous laugh though, glancing over at her screen. Alfred and Myungdae still haven’t arrived yet. “This…this isn’t an interrogation is it? Not that, I’m implying that you are, I mean, why would you need to, I’m just…working on work, filing for the shop, you know-“ Oh wait, she never answered the question, did she? Maybe the way she’s reacting, answers it all too clearly- if she can, she’d rather avoid the hard decisions…even if that ends up biting her in the arse later. She sighs. “Well…avoiding them doesn’t usually solve them, does it? It’s not like he's able to…”

He, as in the Black Knight. Well, the image of the Black Knight- she’s not actually him, himself. That’s Myungdae’s role, but then again, when you’re constantly with people like Myungdae and Alfred, people have been plunged into the deep end with no life vest available and yet they’re still swimming in spite it all, it makes even the worst of problems seem…bearable.  Avoiding her problems almost feels like an insult at that point. Or maybe something about being the Black Knight makes her want to be BRAVER.

 The next question is, thankfully, less probing. “Does it have good wifi? That’s all I really need to be at home. Well, a high end condo wouldn’t be terrible- I’d love to have enough space for both windows and my screens. If it’ll let me have a smartscreen installed, I’d take that to. It’d have to have an elevator though. No stairs, if possible.” That would be for her mother, the woman who raised her all on her own. Isn’t that why Nell went into hacking to begin with- to pay her mother back for all the years put into raising her daughter? At the very least, if god forbid, something happens to her, at least her mother will be comfortable. The back of her neck suddenly grows terribly warm though-not from the sentimentality or worry, but rather from-

“D-Date?” She chuckles nervously. “T-That’s a bold question, wouldn’t you say? Not that, I’m not flattered, but-“ Well, it’s a bit difficult to maintain a relationship let alone go on a date when a. you don’t know the language well and b. most of your free time is being used to be the Black Knight’s tech support. She coughs into her hand- a classic movement picked up from Myungdae. “Take me to dinner and talk to me about D*octor Who or any of my favorite TV shows. And don’t just tell me who your favorite characters are- I want to go into the meta territory.” There’s a reason her favorites have always been the long-running shows…cartoons ( St*even Uni*verse especially- if only the real world worked the way things did in there- by talking things out, no violence necessary! ) are included, even if Alfred tells her they’re for kids. It’s her free time; she’ll be using it the way she pleases, thank you very much!

“Don’t tell Alfred this, but if neither of them is in the base, I’ll put music on- with earphones, of course.” She pats her bag that holds her trusty air pods….thank goodness for wireless headphones and keyboards, she can’t imagine returning to her days of detangling wires! That was a university thing. “What? It gets boring after a while.” Not while they’re in Black Knight mode, of course, but for all the other times, seeing that the basement of the clocktower is one of the few places she can really be herself…if it weren’t for the fact it’s also where she works, she might consider hosting a marathon or two there.

( Little does she realize Myungdae has caught her once or twice jamming out to her music…he doesn’t mind, not at all. As a matter of fact, it can bring a small smile to his face in those moments, where she’s completely caught up with the present moment. )

A work of fiction that feels like home though? “Gotta be D*octor Who for sure. I remember when the reboot first started up- I was a tween- one with not a lot of friends mind you so I was always looking forward to going home to watch the new episode on the telly. And the old ones too. Mum used to yell at me for spending too much time looking at screens.” She laughs, albeit sadly. It’s been THREE YEARS since she’s seen her mother- since that day she had to go into hiding. The last thing she told her mother was that she was going out to get milk.

She wonders if her mother is still waiting for her to come home. With milk. She rubs her hands- last question. “Hm…actually I haven’t given a high-five in a while. It’s not exactly a thing, we- you know.” Most times when there’s a victory within Team Checkmate, it’s acknowledged briefly before they move on to the next topic. “I guess it would depend on who I’m giving it to? Myungdae’s not a huge fan of pain-“ So she’d probably hold his hand in a gesture of victory than high-five. “And Alfred’s on the rougher side.” Which means her palms will inevitably sting.

But speaking of which, she notices them from the other end of the room. Alfred is waving her to join them. Closing her laptop, she gives the curious soul a tight smile. “Sorry, I’d love to chat more but uh…my ride’s here. And they don’t like it when I keep them waiting.” Standing up, she tucks her laptop into her bag along with the keyboard. “Maybe we can meet up again some time? It’s hard making friends you know- well, maybe you have better luck than I do, but that’s not your problem so much as it is mine and it’s probably my fault anyways-“

She takes a deep breath.

“Anyways. I’ll see you around. Try to stay out of this side of Itaewon tonight for me, okay?”

[ii-kanjiiiii]

A Crazy Day at Miku Expo

A Vocaloid shitpost story

Warnings: swearing, contains Kaito x Meiko

Chapter 1

It was a normal day in the Cryptonloid household, like always. It was 12pm and Meiko was already up because she’s a normal person.

“GET UP YOU IDIOTS WE HAVE TO LEAVE FOR MIKU EXPOOO!!!!” she woke the rest of the Cryptonloids up as she was a thoughtful person.

“OH SHIT I FORGOT!!” Miku screamed. Her hair looked like Chuckie Finster from Rugrats but had a much larger mass.

“WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE PERFORMING TONIGHT?!!? PLS NOOOOO I HAVE A PIMPLE!!!” Len cried.

Miraculously, all of them had somehow forgotten that they had a Miku Expo concert in the mystical country of Hajarputa that night. Except for Meiko, because she was a responsible person.

Once they were done packing and getting ready, they went into their private Miku jet which was covered with Miku faces and had big words that said “HATSUNE MIKU” because Miku is the best and owns the world.

Inside, ‘World is Mine’ was playing on loop and the wall was covered in Miku wallpaper and posters. Meiko sat on a Miku couch at the front, because Meiko is queen and is obviously the sexiest one. Kaito, being the simp that he is, sat next to her.

Luka went all the way to the back of the Miku jet and sat in a Miku chair in the corner, away from everyone else as she was tired of everyone’s bullshit.

Miku and the demonic twins were in the middle, just jumping around and throwing shit everywhere as they were still high as fUCK from the FRUIT loops they ate for breakfast.

Suddenly, ‘World is Mine’ stopped playing, and the pilot made an announcement through the plane intercom. Or whatever it’s called lmao I don’t know.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome onboard Flight Miku. We will be taking off from Sapporo to Hajarputa. I am Sonic the Hedgehog and I am your pilot for today. Just kidding bitch, my name is actually うんち(‘Jonathan Harris’ in Japanese). We are expected to reach Hajarputa in about 22 hours. I swear to God, PLEASE put on your seatbelts or you’re gonna fucking die. We also ask that you ensure your seats are in the upright position for take-off, if not you’ll fucking die. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, if not you’ll fucking die as well. Don’t smoke too, cause you’ll get lung cancer and fucking die. Thank you for choosing Miku Airlines. Enjoy your flight. I definitely will not crash this plane. I swear.”

'World is Mine’ was back playing on loop again.

“Well that was comforting,” Meiko said, being a sarcastic piece of shit.

“Lol what? I don’t remember hiring this man,” Miku said. “Lol, whatever,” she shrugged.

Some time after the Miku Jet took off, Kaito and Meiko started fighting over what they would name their non-existent kid that they would never have.

“If she’s a girl, Sakura is the best name!! It represents beauty and optimism,” Kaito said.

“It also represents death,” Meiko argued. “And who the fuck names their kid after a plant? Enaado is the best name!!”

“The fuck kinda name is Enaado?” Len, who was seated far away from them, muttered to himself. Meiko, who was somehow able to hear him, pulled a super soaker gun out of nowhere and squirted him all the way from the other end of the plane.

Some hours later, the vocaloids were bored as heck and ‘World is Mine’ playing on loop was driving them to insanity(except for Miku of course).

“Can you turn that shit off, Miku? I swear to God, if I hear “sekai de ichiban ohime-sama” one more damn time, my internal organs are going to explode,” Luka said, smashing her head against the wall.

“Geez, fine, Luka! You don’t have to be so mean about it, it’s not my fault you don’t know how to appreciate good art,” Miku rolled her eyes, then she changed the song to ‘Popipo’ on loop, which was probably 100x worse.

“YOU’RE my sekai de ichiban ohime-sama, Me-chan~<3” Kaito UwU-ed. She smacked him with a magazine.

Another time skip, Miku wanted to play truth or dare lmao. Luka, Miku and the twins sat in a circle and started playing.

“Oh yeah, by the way, Mei-nee and Kai-nii are in the game too,” Miku said.

“Wtf no thanks,” Meiko immediately said, not looking up from her magazine about self control & anger management.

“No, you can’t escape, Mei-nee,” Miku replied, staring intensely into her soul. She then got a piece of rope out of nowhere and tied Meiko and Kaito to their chairs.

“TRUTH OR DARE, MEI-NEE?” Miku asked, her eye twitching.

“Ugh, fine. Truth,” Meiko replied, as she had no other choice.

Meanwhile, Kaito was having Vietnam war flashbacks as Miku tying him to the chair reminded him of that one time he got kidnapped by Sonic the Hedgehog. (An event that happened in my other fanfic that I’m not going to post.)

“Do you want to make out with Kai-nii?” Miku asked with a stupid shitty grin on her face.

“What the fuck? Oh, HELL NO. I think I already know how this is gonna go,” Meiko muttered.

“AnSwEr tHe qUeStiOn!!!” Miku yelled impatiently, flipping the fucking table.

“Dare!” Meiko quickly said, sweating.

“I dare you to make out with Kai-nii,” Miku said, raising her eyebrows up and down like fucking Mr. Bean.

Upon hearing this, Kaito’s attention was caught and he snapped out of his Vietnam war flashbacks.

“GODDAMN IT!!” Meiko cursed.

“Oh my GOD, Kaito. Don’t give me THAT look,” Meiko said, terrified for her life as she noticed Kaito looking at her with considerable interest.

“Why the hell did you give that dare, Miku? Literally NO ONE wants to see that shit,” Len said, staring judgingly at Miku. He definitely did not have to see his parents smashing their faces together.

“Yeah, Len’s right,” Luka said. “Aight, Imma head out. Bye bitches,” she flipped her fabulous long hair and strolled out elegantly. Once she reached her seat at the far corner of the plane, she opened her laptop and looked at images of the Gingerbread Man from Shrek.

“Shut up Len and just watch the show!” Rin, who was just as delusional as Miku, scolded.

“MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT MEIKOUT” the crazy girls started chanting.

I’m so sorry

I really have no idea where this shitty fanfic is going

TIME SKIP LOL

It was nighttime and the Cryptonloids were sleeping in their beds with Miku blankets and ‘Popipo’ was still playing on loop. Suddenly, the Miku Jet started shaking really hard, then everyone flew out of their beds and hit their heads on the ceiling. After a few seconds, the Miku Jet stopped shaking and everyone fell back to the ground.

“Heh heh, sorry folks. Just a little air turbulence is all,” Pilot うんち announced.

“What the actual FUCK?? “A ‘liTtLE’ aIR tUrBuLeNcE” he said!! I don’t think we should be entrusting that guy with our LIVES!!” Meiko seethed. “I’m going to have a word with him.” she stormed off to the Pilot’s cabin.

“Wait Me-chan, I’ll come too,” Kaito said, and tagged along with her for extra support because he was a good boyfriend.

Once they reached the Pilot’s cabin, she slid open the door and shouted “LISTEN UP, MISTER, DO YOUR DAMN JOB PROPERLY!!”

“Oh, Meiko-san, hello!” the pilot spun his chair around and smiled. “Oh, Kaito, you’re here too! How’s it going, buddy? Has Sonic been bothering you any more?”

Meiko and Kaito’s eyes widened as they realised who the pilot was.

“FUKASE??!!!!” they screamed in shock. His Ronald Mcdonald hair was unmistakable.

“No, I’m うんち. Who the hell is Fukase?” うんち/Fukase said.

“WHY ARE YOU FLYING A PLANE, FUKASE??!! AREN’T YOU LIKE, FOURTEEN?!??!!!” Meiko screamed.

“Uh, no, I’m fifteen. Also, the age of consent in Japan is thirteen, sooo I don’t see any problem with it,” he replied.

“WHAT THE HELL DOES AGE OF CONSENT HAVE TO DO WITH FLYING A PLANE???!!” Meiko screamed, ripping her hair out. I really need to stop using scream.

"Umm… with all due respect, Fukase, are you even qualified for this?” Kaito spoke up.

“Yeah, DUH. I’ve had years worth of flight experience from Microsoft Flight Simulator on the Xbox!” he replied. “What kinda dumb shit would hire someone who ISN’T qualified??”

“oH mAN OH GOD OUR LIVES ARE IN THE HANDS OF THAT DUMB KID OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD-“ Meiko was hyperventilating in the corner and hugging her legs, sweat pouring down her face. It was unlike her to freak out like this, she was usually calm and kept her cool. However, this is Fukase we’re talking about, and any rational person would be freaking out and fearing for their lives.

“Breathe, Me-chan, breathe,” Kaito attempted to calm her down. “Don’t worry, okay? Everything’s gonna be just fine. Nothing bad will happen. Everything is okay,” he assured her, hugging her tightly.

“How would YOU know that???” she asked.

“I don’t,” he replied. “When things get rough, denial is all we have,” he said, giving his Stupid Bakaito Grin™.

TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE???1??1

[let-haru-rest]

ep 3 let’s GOOOOOO

in which spin is late to the party but shhh better late than never, my dudes (also, spoiler warning if you haven’t been spoiled or watched already! and also? warning for simping. LOTS of simping.) 

grandmother: “haru-san, thank you for taking good care of daisuke” WOOH obaasan knows what is UPPPP

YESS GRANDMA CALL HIM OUT NO HARU it’s ok daisuke san is a grade A jerk you don’t need to coddle the man

grandma: DAISUKE-SAN wtf i trembled

that narrowed-eyes though “i lOoK forWArd to Ur CoaCHING” what sort of coaching are you talking about hmmmmmm 👀👀👀👀 this line is gonna get used in a smutty fanfic somewhere i’m calling it

wow it rly be like, haru: make sure to refrain from any actions that would trouble your coworkers daisuke: MAKE 👏 SURE TO 💦💰 REFRAIN FROM 👩 ANY 💦 ACTIONS THAT WOULD 😂 TROUBLE YOUR 🅱😡 COWORKERS 👴🖕 meanwhile suzue watches this play out with that face of hers lmao 

oh god all this happened before the opening song this does not bode well for the length of this post lmaoooo wait. wait they changed parts of the op. subtle differences. but i notice. i notice them. i am a simp i see these things

aww haru offering his neighbor sushi warmed the cockles of my heart

has anybody ever said that the background sounds of fkbu are very immersive? because dang I felt like i were in a bullet train, sitting right there... next to haru... absorbing his kindness, his food, his gift 🥺 and honestly? that red haired kid is such a little punk i’d never do that to haru katou godDAMN it child

oh nuts not those little bitches and their red haired gang leader again, why all these anime ginger men be so rude??

haru rly just said PARKOUR in that flashback and omg haru in that black suit oh MY oh god he’s gonna have nightmares... damn this was a whiplash

“The sinews of war are infinite money” -- Sun Tzu, Art of War no im jk pls i want daisuke to speak this from his lips. Cloverworks, pls manifest pls

honestly? daisuke stopping and offering to give haru his overkill expensive weaponry after haru screams “stop!” a second time is SUCH a delicious trope, the shippers are very well fed 🙏 we thank you, cloverworks

YES TWO DETECTIVE PARTNERS BREAK THE LAW BREAK THE LAW BREAK THE LAW

i can’t be the only person who cringed when the kidnapper grabbed the camera with his entire goddamn hand like... how many finger smudges do you want on your lens bruh? it does not bode well for the start of your youtube career

i have a theory that fugou keiji’s directors utilise jazz music to signal to fans that we should activate our daisuke simp, it’s very considerate of them

“Reimburse all damages at double the cost” somebody pick me up with this line, it’s the sexiest line of the year

actually, haru giving directions to HEUSC right in front of daisuke might be a strong contestant to the above statement

daisuke: * kicks down door * me: no, daisuke, kick me

old lady, please do not talk about the farewell concert in the middle of a high stakes hostage what... what are they doing

WHAT KIND OF FEVER DREAM IS THIS

WHAT OH MY GOD GINGER YOUTUBER IS BIG BRAIN

daisuke stepping in between haru and a gun pointed at him.... my fan fiction dreams, they are coming true

aw, haru :,) u deserve all that validation, old man

dear cloverworks marketing team, i would be willing to purchase a poster of daisuke kambe backlit by the sunset in a train

OH MY GOD, “he’s not the type to kill people” ... daisuke...  🥺 🥺 🥺