#Bc she called us all in to watch 2 marching bands perform a tribute to him in a giant stadium and she’s crying and i am genuinely moved by t | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pepprs · 2 years

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elton johns music is so fucking beautiful and heart wrenching and it makes me want to cry and i hate that i can’t like allow myself to emote to his music normally because if i cried over elton john then my mom would win. and so many things in my life are like if i x then my mom would win and i can’t do that. Lol

#purrs #w the elton john thing it’s bc she is an elton john megafan and cries over him every time she hears one of his songs or like sees a social m #media post from him lol so it’s like… if i cry over elton john too then she will have… idk. it’s not her succeeding in making me a clone of #her or whatever it’s like this weird thing where i can’t actually do what my mom wants me to do or like what my mom wants me to like even wh #when they align w things i genuinely want / like to do bc then… i’ll be more vulnerable to her? we’ll have a reason to bond? idk. i don’t t #think that’s it i don’t know why im struggling to put it into words but it squicks me out. so here i am standing in her room w my siblings b #Bc she called us all in to watch 2 marching bands perform a tribute to him in a giant stadium and she’s crying and i am genuinely moved by t #the performance and she wouldn’t even see if i cried but im standing there fighting back tears and hating myself and not understanding why #but i wish my mom was like. more normal about elton john. its not bad at all that she loves him so much it’s just… weird and suffocating fo #for me and it would be cool to find my own connection to his music without feeling u comfortable because i grew up having to call him #uncle elton and her dancing with us to his songs. lol. cringeeee childhood memories i guess idk #delete later #like literally goodbye yellow brick road is the single most devastating piece of music ever created.

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