#But at least that I can see Orym justifying as not his to tell

[acebabecd]

Ngl, I would be SUPER up for each half of the split party getting their own episode if it meant the EXU party coming back to fill out the table in the 3 person group

[nd43polyneins]

Finished Ep33, have some Thoughts

obviously spoilers ahead

So like, I know people are upset (I am too, Orym and Fearne are my favorites) but like... Death in Critical Role (or really any other well run DND show) doesn't affect me as much as it would in other forms of media. It's tempting to think of it that way, and trust me I'm the Biggest Baby when it comes to character death in fiction, but there are some essentials of the genre and this cast that make it a little easier for me, and I thought I would share my thoughts for anyone who might be hurting.

1 - in a well run DND game, death is always a temporary status if the player wants it to be. A good DM will work with players to bring back characters if the player really and truly doesn't want them to go (it might take awhile, but there's always options, some more dramatic than others). The death of Mollymauk comes to mind here, because Taliesin clearly was calling the shots at all times on how to proceed after Molly's death - he clearly made a character that was designed to be a book end to Molly's story. He even gave Molly funeral rites ("I made the earth remember him"). That was a beat he CHOSE, Matt didn't make him do that. Same with his rebirth at the end - it was his choice to use divine intervention, and his choice to act out how Kingsley behaved. These decisions are player driven, as they should be in a good game.

2 - this cast is very good at checking in on each other and reading each other's moods. When it becomes clear to Liam that Orym isn't going to make it, you can see Liam get up and walk around the table a couple times, and pretty much everyone checks in with him, holds his hand, whispers something to him, or gives him a hug. He's in a supported place. Ashley looks more stunned after Fearne's death so she doesn't get up, but I have no doubt that there was much the same comforting and checking in after the cameras stopped.

3 - these events were consequences of the player's actions, not decided by a writer's room. I get mad when characters die in say, a TV show, because it doesn't always feel justified. You know that the actual character did not make any of the calls that lead up to their death, it was decided by an author (or worse, a committee, or a series of authors that don't communicate well with each other). But Bells Hells were in that situation because of choices that the players, who know their characters best, made. It's tempting to think that when a character dies, it was somehow unwarranted or unfair, but when is death ever fair? At least in DND players are masters of their character's decisions.

4 - IF a player decides not to pursue bringing their character back, it doesn't mean they are gone from the table forever. In other media, when that character dies we don't get to see that actor anymore, but in DND they get to come back as a new idea with new fresh things to play with, and as much as I love the characters what I ultimately come to CR for is the interactions between these particular people. Liam and Ashley will still be there no matter what happens (even if they are off camera for a little)

5 - DND is a conversation, not a competition. The DM is not "out to get" the players. This encounter was absolutely something Bells Hells could have overcome (in fact it sounded like they got close!), but the dice were not on their side. You can tell Matt is doing his best to keep the fight balanced - Otohan moves constantly, doesn't focus on any one player. Even her multi attack she frequently splits up to use against multiple people instead of just focusing all damage on one person (which is what she would do if Matt was trying to get someone killed). I've seen people speculate that Ashton going down in the first round scared the group so much that they focused more on running than fighting, making Otohan seem stronger than she probably was, and I agree. This was not an unwinnable fight.

6 - just because a character dies doesn't mean their story is over. If Liam or Ashley decide not to bring Orym and Fearne back, their stories don't just end there. Again, look at Molly. Or Vax! Matt will find ways to keep their threads in the narrative even if the characters aren't.

I'm not saying that I don't want Orym or Fearne back (I DO THEY'RE MY FAVES), but I understand this a little better, and it doesn't hurt the same way for me that other character deaths might. We have no idea what is going to happen this week (who knows what Imogen's power can do now that it's unlocked?!), but I feel comfortable knowing that whatever happens is something the players are on board with.

[today-only-happens-once]

Please gush about your D&D campaign! and tell me your favorite moment so far between Dorian and Orym?

THURIIIII hi

Task: Wiped down kitchen counters and started dinner.

I'm gonna ramble forever about my dnd campaign but my favorite Dorym moment is probably a three-way tie between "there are no debts between us", "you have something in your hair", and Orym with the sending stone when Dorian came back. T.T

Now, for MY campaign... (I get in my feels a bit woops)

Right now, we're a party of three with my half-elf monk (Kyssarda), a tiefling paladin/warlock, and a triton bard. We just spent like, a month in the Underdark which was BRUTAL, but had fantastic character development for all of us I think. The path to get to the Underdark (which we went to with the intention of rescuing a friend) involved going to this country we hadn't been to before.

I've been using Kyssarda to sort of explore internalized issues in some ways, mostly internalized homophobia (saying this as a queer woman) by putting some emotional emphasis on her coming to understand that she is the direct result of a love (between her parents) that at least parts of society deemed taboo and bad (because her father's lineage would not have approved of him marrying a human). She also feels like she can't share this aspect of her identity freely with the party, because the party member she felt closest to (the elven rogue) has been super prejudiced against the country her father is from (because of backstory.... it's a tangled web).

BUT ANYWAY we come out of the Underdark after like, a month. Kyssarda lost an arm and gained a scar. Our paladin/warlock changed alignments and then changed back after what has been probably my fave RP I've ever done. Other trauma was had that I won't get into. It's been a rough time for everybody. And we emerge and suddenly.... the country her father is from got overthrown, and the tyrranical rule is no longer in effect.

Which leads to her having a lot of mixed but very strong emotions. Because on one hand, that's great! If only her father could see it now! But also.... if only her father could see it, period, and she still carries the sort of trauma of knowing her father's love for her mother was seen as this terrible, dirty thing for so long, and she is a proud product of that.

So overwhelmed and needing someone to talk to, she DID tell her secret to the paladin and it was such a good moment. Oof. But she made him promise not to tell the rogue who we are currently about to meet up with (played by the player as the triton bard). Paladin promised, but also encouraged her to tell him. I don't think it's going to happen soon, but it's bound to happen eventually.

I'm really excited though because of what I explained above and also other trauma-related things that I haven't gotten to explain fully (or this would be a novel probably haha), Kyssarda's going to multiclass into barbarian soon. She's a character that hasn't gotten to acknowledge the pain and anger that is justified in her backstory and throughout the campaign, and I'm excited to explore the ways anger can be a catharsis and good even. That it doesn't have to be something buried and forgotten, like she has been doing for so long. I think my party knows its coming, because I've been planting seeds of outbursts of anger slowly but surely, and they keep making jokes/comments about her multiclassing.

Thank you for the chance to ramble!